{"id":306527,"date":"2020-11-06T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-11-06T12:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/grandparenting-on-purpose\/"},"modified":"2020-11-06T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-06T12:00:04","slug":"grandparenting-on-purpose","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grandparenting-on-purpose\/","title":{"rendered":"Grandparenting On Purpose"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pastor Josh Mulvihill and his wife, Jen, remind grandparents that they can be a powerful force for good in their grandchildren&#8217;s lives, but only if they spend time with them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:34","filesize":"27.99M","filesize_raw":"29345034","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833,10379],"tags":[6962],"podcast_series":[8406],"cwp_profile":[9670],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306527","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","category-grandparents","tag-raising-godly-kids","podcast_series-discipling-your-grandchildren","cwp_profile-josh-and-jen-mulvihill","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306527\/grandparenting-on-purpose","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306527\/grandparenting-on-purpose","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DoBi3G3o3f\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grandparenting-on-purpose\/\">Grandparenting On Purpose<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grandparenting-on-purpose\/embed\/#?secret=DoBi3G3o3f\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Grandparenting On Purpose&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DoBi3G3o3f\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Pastor Josh Mulvihill and his wife, Jen, remind grandparents that they can be a powerful force for good in their grandchildren's lives, but only if they spend time with them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-11-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 6<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Influence matters for a lot; and if you\u2019re a grandparent, you have more influence over your grandchildren than you may realize. We\u2019ll talk about that more today with Josh and Jen Mulvihill. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Have you guys established a regular rhythm for what your interaction with your grandkids looks like?\u2014either in phone calls, or e-mails, or texts, or visits. Do you have kind of a pattern set out, or is it just when you can?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Every single day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; I\u2019m kidding; [Laughter] I\u2019m kidding. No; we have one grandson near us\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and we don\u2019t go more than two days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We see them a lot; they only live ten minutes from us. Our son will just FaceTime<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014if he hasn\u2019t seen us in a couple days\u2014our son will FaceTime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the kids in Colorado\u2014Dave and I aren\u2019t real planners, and we need to be\u2014and I\u2019ve asked, \u201cCan we get a day on the calendar that we are FaceTiming at a certain time?\u201d That would help all of us; but none of us are real great planners, so it just hasn\u2019t happened like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019ve had a couple times\u2014it\u2019s so cute\u2014is our grandson near us will literally wake up and go, \u201cNonie! Nonie!\u201d and he wants grandma; so they FaceTime or they say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to get over here in the next couple of hours.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think what we\u2019re talking about this week\u2014the whole idea of being intentional about grandparenting\u2014is something that we do have to get on our planners, and have to figure out what our rhythm is going to be, and then get into a regular sync of how we\u2019re going to interact and when we\u2019re going to interact; and make that a part of the program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got friends joining us here this week to talk about this: Josh and Jen Mulvihill. Josh\/Jen, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> These guys are not yet grandparents and, yet, this is something that\u2014in your study of Scripture and your interaction with families\u2014you\u2019ve recognized grandparenting is an untapped resource within the body of Christ and within the family structure, something that can be used for God\u2019s glory in a powerful way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat do you recommend to grandparents about developing the kind of intentional rhythm I was talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> A big one right now is just: \u201cHow much time do you spend with each of your grandchildren?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s an <em>easy<\/em> impact. Limited time equals limited impact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s been quite a few studies done on the <em>amount of time<\/em> that grandparents spend with their grandkids. Here\u2019s the findings: \u201cOne out of two grandparents is considered a detached or a disengaged\/passive grandparent.\u201d One out of two: that means\/that equates to connecting with your grandchild less than once a month [as a detached grandparent]. When you don\u2019t have time with someone, obviously there\u2019s a limited impact that can happen. One out of two is active: that means they are very engaged in their grandkids\u2019 lives. That\u2019s true for any of our listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA simple thing is\u2014you talk about being intentional\u2014increase the frequency of impact. Sometimes, it\u2019s as simple as a priority issue; or it\u2019s just a planning issue. We\u2019re all busy, and late gatherings and last-minute gatherings are hard\u2014so let\u2019s put them on the calendar, whatever that looks like\u2014that time component is a big one. We want to get out of just the holiday grandparenting that a lot fall into: we see them on a couple of holidays in the year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecognizing those big days: the birthdays\/the big milestones. The technology that exists today provides <em>a lot<\/em> of opportunity to interact, and many of us don\u2019t use it to the degree that we could; or many grandparents are slow adopters of some technology. Our encouragement is to use that for the relationship building that happens. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBe willing to travel. Sometimes it\u2019s easier to go <em>to<\/em> children\u2014especially with young kids, that it\u2019s sometimes harder to travel\u2014or more expensive. We have five kids, so flying somewhere with seven of us is pretty prohibitive. It\u2019s a blessing to have sometimes [them] coming to us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s lots of things that can happen to build and develop those relationships. Other than Christ, obviously, that\u2019s the cornerstone that makes discipleship possible. If the relationship doesn\u2019t exist, then the heart openness and heart desire is not there to receive what is being offered. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m interested to know if <em>your<\/em> parents feel pressure since you\u2019re the <em>grandparent experts<\/em>. [Laughter] What\u2019s your relationship like with them? What does it <em>look like<\/em> for your kids and your parents? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Both of our moms passed away within the last few years. My mom passed away five years ago of cancer, and Josh\u2019s mom passed away eight years ago of ALS. Both of our parents, as grandparents\u2014prior to our moms passing away\u2014were spot-on, A+, a 10 out of a 10 disciple-making grandparents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen grandma dies, it changes that dynamic; but I would say that both of our dads have done an excellent job of continuing to pour into our kids; it just looks a little different. Josh\u2019s dad has remarried; praise the Lord that God has given us a beautiful new grandma in Grammy Pammy as we call her. She is a <em>gift<\/em> to our family; she has stepped in: she <em>loves<\/em> the kids; she is an encourager; she cooks for the kids; and FaceTimes them; and is hands-on in a way that we love and appreciate. We consider her a blessing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEspecially Josh\u2019s dad and Pam\u2014they are very intentional to <em>ask<\/em> good questions. They have asked: \u201cWhat would you like to see from us?\u201d \u201cIn what ways can we encourage you?\u201d \u201cHow often would you like us to see the grandkids?\u201d \u201cHow can we help you more?\u201d I think parenting looks different in this generation\u2014it <em>is<\/em> hard to get dates on the calendar; it <em>is<\/em> time to schedule things\u2014but their openness and availability has been wonderful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen also, we\u2019ve been blessed by an adoptive grandmother, who has stepped into our family\u2014a <em>wonderful<\/em> woman from our church\u2014who has said, \u201cI have grandchildren of my own, but they live at a distance; and I would love to pour into <em>your<\/em> family.\u201d She\u2019s hands-on with our children and spends time with them: takes them out and all those things. We have been blessed to have disciple-making grandparents in our own family that have affected us tremendously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It sounds great that\u2014you don\u2019t often hear what you just said\u2014a grandparent saying to their kids, \u201cHow do you want us to be involved?\u201d rather than \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you how I\u2019m going to be involved with your kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> My dad and Pam invited us to go out to lunch\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong>\u2014and simply said, \u201cCan you just tell us what you\u2019re trying to accomplish as parents? What are your goals? What are you doing and how can we fit into that?\u201d They just listened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you said, \u201cHere, I\u2019ve got a book for you to read.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> They actually wrote a chapter in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Did they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen: <\/strong>Yes, they did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019ve had the experience\/we\u2019ve experienced a couple sides\u2014it\u2019s been interesting. Jen\u2019s parents\u2014we lived two hours away from them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> They sold their home and moved within a mile of us so our kids\/their grandkids were with them all the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> \u2014all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong>\u2014and it was <em>wonderful<\/em>! It built that relationship. They\/there was a lot of intimacy, and death changed that. It left a hole, not only for our kids, but for us. We saw\/we\u2019ve experienced both sides\u2014very hands-on and then the lack of. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll just say this: \u201cGrandparents, you matter.\u201d Many times, I think grandparents undervalue the impact that they have and the place that they have in a grandchild\u2019s life. You are important, both from the emotional support to the spiritual influence to everything that exists. If you\u2019re wondering, \u201cWhat do I have to offer?\u201d you have yourself\u2014your wisdom, your guidance, your presence\u2014that <em>is<\/em> what God wants from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Before you become a parent, I\u2019m guessing everyone did what we did: you\u2019re inhaling anything you can about being a parent\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014reading books, watching videos. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019re about to become a grandparent, you don\u2019t even think that way. I didn\u2019t read one book; didn\u2019t think about it. \u201cOh! Am I unique? I never\/I mean, here it is!\u201d Were there tools available?\u2014I didn\u2019t know that they were there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It just sort of hits you, \u201cI\u2019m a grandparent\u201d one day. You don\u2019t\/you don\u2019t think of it as intentionally as you should.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You just said, \u201cGrandparents really, really matter\u201d; so we should take this job as seriously as we took our parenting job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And what a loss for you guys\u2014like to both lose your moms\u2014I\u2019m sorry for that; that\u2019s <em>so<\/em> hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes; it has been a hard season, but I think God has taught us a lot in these seasons. I mean, even in the season of my mom\u2019s death, my boys being so close to her\u2014even in her final days, she could say to them: \u201cI love you,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to meet Jesus; I\u2019m going to meet Him.\u201d When she died, I remember our oldest saying, \u201cToday was her day that she met the real Jesus!\u201d What a beautiful testimony of her life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014even her not being afraid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Not afraid\u2014not afraid at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think, in this season, where culture says to us: \u201cGrandparents, spoil your grandkids!\u2014all the fun!\u2014all the sugar!\u201d Really, the greatest gift a grandparent can give\u2014it\u2019s just the gift of <em>yourself<\/em>: and the gift of your time, and the gift of your legacy; and pouring into them\u2014it\u2019s those day-to-day moments that matter\/that\u2019s what matters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My mom just passed away at the beginning of 2020. My mom and dad have \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t12 grandsons\u2014no granddaughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Oh wow; okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> At her funeral, all 12 grandsons\u2014Dave had them stand up and share something about her\u2014and they all had stories. She was <em>amazing<\/em>; she was <em>fun<\/em>; she was <em>intentional<\/em>; she was the most giving person that I have ever been around\u2014the biggest servant I\u2019ve ever seen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the grandsons said, \u201cWe were out with Grandma Toot\u201d\u2014her name was Toot\u2014[Laughter]\u2014Grandma Toot. \u201cIt was in Georgia, and it started to snow,\u201d\u2014so snow actually was starting to cover the ground, which was unusual in Georgia. My mom was in her 80s at that time, and the boys were trying to sled down this hill. She says, \u201cYou guys don\u2019t even know what you\u2019re doing\u201d; and she <em>runs<\/em> into the garage. [Laughter] She comes out with this big piece of cardboard. She gets a running start, and she runs and belly flops on this piece of cardboard, and goes all the way down the hill. These two brothers looked at each other and said, \u201cWe have the most incredible grandmother in the entire world!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were <em>countless<\/em> stories of her doing that; but also just sitting there, being with them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014reading to them. I think part of it is: \u201cJust who has God made <em>you<\/em> to be?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and to let that shine out of who you are, as in <em>your identity<\/em>. Your kids\/your grandkids need that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So when we talk about who we are, and even our purpose, as a grandparent\u2014as you have already talked earlier\u2014what are some of the other purposes for us as grandparents?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Psalm 92 talks about just this wonderful metaphor of a date palm tree\u2014and how we are like that date palm\u2014and how date palms bear fruit until old age. This is actually what Psalm 92 says\u2014I just want to read it; it says: \u201cThe righteous will flourish like a date palm, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon. Planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of the LORD. They will still bear fruit in old age; they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming that the LORD is upright; He is my rock, and there\u2019s no wickedness in Him.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOld age is the season of grandparenting. Like date palms, it\u2019s the season of fruitfulness. Many think, \u201cMy fruit-bearing capacities become limited.\u201d I think they become <em>enhanced<\/em>. As you get older\u2014we\u2019re in our 40s\u2014as we\u2019ve gotten older, life experience, wisdom, understanding God\u2019s Word\u2014all that grows. There\u2019s a greater capacity to minister than a lesser capacity. You want 40-year-old Josh rather than 20-year-old Josh, I assume.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrandparents have that fruit-bearing capacity that\u2014don\u2019t cash it in and stand on the sidelines. There\u2019s a lot of untapped, unused potential, and valuable grandparents that aren\u2019t being utilized\u2014whether that\u2019s in churches today, typically pushed to the sidelines, or whether in families\u2014so that\u2019s a third one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Let me ask you this real quick\u2014because it makes me think: \u201cAs a grandparent\u2014the wisdom part\u2014you know, lived a little longer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and you are wise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u2014I am wise; [Laughter] I\u2019m amazing; no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut even as you watch your kids parent their kids\/your grandkids, there\u2019s things you see\/you know that you did the same thing in your youth; but now, you\u2019re like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> the way to do it.\u201d What\u2019s a grandparent to do at that moment?\u2014do they step in?\u2014do they step back? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know you\u2019re the parents that have grandparents doing that; but you know, coach the grandparents: \u201cDo they just keep quiet or do they\u2014like how they discipline their kids, or the rules they\u2019re setting, or the freedom they\u2019re giving\u2014they have different opinions. Do they bring it up or do they let it go?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question!\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014every grandparent is asking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great question; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> I think about the influence principle. If we take a commanding presence, that\u2019s typically not received well; right? We want to influence rather than command. When we are in proximity\/in relationship, that just tends to happen as we go through our days with people\u2014that we may end up asking\/being invited to speak into something, just because we\u2019re in relationship with those individuals. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that relationship\u2019s not occurring on a regular basis\u2014it\u2019s not intimate\u2014then there tends to be the stiff-arm, and the distance, and \u201cThat\u2019s not happening.\u201d So then, we\u2014what do we do?\u2014we push, and we push people away in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> If the door\u2019s not open, and we force our way through it, that\u2019s probably not the best method to get the result we want. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Let\u2019s get to some of the practical things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because this gets fun\u2014of what we can do as grandparents. You guys have a lot of stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> We do; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> I would say, if you\u2019re looking for some practical ideas, just start by saying, \u201cYes,\u201d\/saying, \u201cYes,\u201d to being intentional. Start by saying, \u201cYes,\u201d to changing your schedule, and re-evaluating how you spend your time, and who you\u2019re spending your time with. Grandparents are busy, but sometimes we\u2019re busy with the wrong people. The primary influence should be our families. So start by saying, \u201cYes.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe this might not be intuitive to a lot of grandparents\u2014or maybe you\u2019re coming out of a season, where you\u2019re working full time and retirement is on the horizon\u2014you\u2019re going to have that time. Choose a way\u2014we\u2019re all built differently; we\u2019re all designed differently\u2014but choose something\/choose a springboard. Maybe it means you\u2019re going to say, \u201cAlright; it was Johnny\u2019s birthday last week,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to take Johnny out. I missed the mark on that.\u201d Start by just choosing something and doing it; that would be the first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> You love books.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> I love books; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Talk about how books have been an important disciple-making tool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Absolutely. Books are a gateway; books are a tool that can be used to disciple. They are a conversation starter; they become the language of your home. We love to encourage grandparents to build your grandchild\u2019s library of <em>good books<\/em>\u2014to use books as a disciple-making tool\u2014whether you\u2019re reading the same book at the same time or you\u2019re studying a book of the Bible together. We love just to encourage a lot of books. You can purchase books throughout the seasons: there is a book for <em>every<\/em> topic\/there is a book for <em>every<\/em> occasion. Books are a gateway to your child\u2019s heart, and we love to encourage grandparents to utilize books as much as possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, what about gifts? Do you ever say, \u201cNo\u201d? [Laughter] Because I\u2019m married to a woman\u2014I don\u2019t know what our grandparenting budget is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There\u2019s a budget? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; right. It\u2019s like: \u201cLet\u2019s get them a trampoline!\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s get them a jungle gym,\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s get them a bike.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cDo we?\u201d [Laughter] \u201cYes!\u201d But there\u2019s got to be a \u201cNo,\u201d sometimes; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You want grandparents to help out and give gifts, but\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you trying to get help?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m just trying to get a little coaching for\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Just trying to get Josh to weigh in on <em>your<\/em> side here and say, \u201cWould you tell my wife that we have to put a budget on this please?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Well, we all love good gifts; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> We do! We do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> And God loves to lavish good gifts on His kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh! Yes, Josh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> \u2014but\u2014right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Aww! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Yes; but we want some intentionality with those gift-givings: \u201cHow can we give gifts that help a young person grow into a godly man or a godly woman?\u2014what kinds of things could that look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think food is a secret weapon\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes\u2014for grandparents\u2014secret weapon!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, it is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> We have\u2014I don\u2019t know about you\u2014but I remember the smells and the tastes, going into my grandparent\u2019s house. Many of the things grandparents did in previous generations have been outsourced to others today, and food is one of those. Instead of going to Grandma\u2019s house for dinner on Sunday, we go to a restaurant. I\u2019d say, \u201cGrandparents, take that back!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRecognize that the food that you serve is important, so be willing to spend some on that. Have the open-refrigerator policy when they come in; stock things that your grandkids are going to like. It\u2019s one way to entice them to come to your home. Utilize\u2014when you look in Scripture, food is just central to God\u2019s people, and to the spiritual growth and health of communities, whether family or the community of God\u2014utilize it for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat kind of milestones are special with your grandchildren?\u2014whether it\u2019s coming to faith, a baptism, a big accomplishment in life, a birthday\u2014you can utilize <em>food<\/em> to tell them how special they are and to recognize those special moments. Grandmother\u2019s, you know, pull out your best\u2014well, I\u2019ll include grandfathers too\u2014but if you\u2019re\u2014guys or ladies\u2014if you like to cook, pull out your best recipes and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Pull out those recipes, and make them, and teach your grandchildren <em>how<\/em> to make them; and carry on that tradition as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure we were intentional about this, but we are now. One of the gifts we can give our grandkids is their parents\u2019 marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When we go out to Colorado and spend a few days there, we\u2019re like, \u201cGet out of the house, Mom and Dad.\u201d Of course, we <em>want<\/em> to be with the kids; but even an overnight: \u201cGo away; work on your marriage. You need to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe grandson that\u2019s local\u2014almost every week, we\u2019re like, \u201cCody and Jenna, go out for a date; we\u2019ve got Brice. We\u2019ll put him down; don\u2019t worry about it. You want to spend the night somewhere?\u2014we\u2019ve got him.\u201d That\u2019s a <em>gift<\/em> to say, \u201cYour marriage matters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> gift; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes; that is a good gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019re your built-in babysitters. We want to impact your kid anyway\u2014our grandson\/granddaughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut we want your marriage to be better, and we will help you do it.\u201d What a gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> We had five years\u2014maybe it was even a little longer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong>\u2014because of death\u2014that we didn\u2019t have\/we had five kids, so it\u2019s not like you can say to somebody, \u201cHey, can you come watch our five kids overnight?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> So we had about a five-year stretch, where we didn\u2019t have that. It matters! Don\u2019t underestimate the value of simply saying, \u201cWe\u2019ll let you guys get away and spend some quality time together and work on your marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your book is, really, almost an appetizer to everything else you\u2019re working on to try to help cultivate grandparenting. The events that you\u2019re doing, your website\u2014this is something that, if grandparents begin to recognize, \u201cWe understand we have a calling; we just need coaching,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what you\u2019re here to provide; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Correct; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I would say to folks, \u201cStart with the book. Make that where you begin.\u201d But then, we\u2019ve got a link on our website to your website, where folks can get more information about upcoming events and all that you\u2019ve got available. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so grateful for you guys being here and for the engagement on this subject. I hope that a lot of our listeners are saying, \u201cOkay; we\/we\u2019ve got to start taking this a little more seriously and a little more intentionally than we have before.\u201d Thanks for being here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Josh:<\/strong> Thanks for having us. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jen:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would, again, encourage people to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014first, to get a copy of the book, <em>Discipling Your Grandchildren<\/em>\u2014you can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy of Josh\u2019s book. Then click the link for the Legacy Coalition; find out about the Grandparenting Summit that Josh and his team are putting together for March of 2021. Let\u2019s hope we can gather together by March of 2021.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInformation about the Legacy Summit is available\u2014again, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014and click the link to find out more about it or to order Josh\u2019s book, <em>Discipling Your Grandchildren.<\/em> Again, order online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we ever disciple our grandkids, all of us, as parents, disciple our own children; and we can all use a little help in that. Earlier this week, we had the opportunity to talk to Adam Griffin who, together with Pastor Matt Chandler, has written a book called <em>Family Discipleship:<\/em> <em>Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments and Milestones<\/em>. We were impressed with this book and thought, \u201cThis is going to be helpful for a lot of moms and dads\u201d; so we\u2019re making it available this week to those of you who can support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife<\/em> with a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour regular support of this ministry is so vitally important for us to be able to reach more moms and dads\/more husbands and wives to bring practical biblical help and hope to marriages and families. You make that possible when you support this ministry. Can I challenge you today to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate? When you do, feel free to request your copy of Adam Griffin and Matt Chandler\u2019s book, <em>Family Discipleship<\/em>. Again, it\u2019s our thank-you gift. We do appreciate your partnership with us, here, in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk about what real love in a marriage looks like and why\u2014if there\u2019s no love\u2014there\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em>. Love is the foundation for everything. We\u2019ll talk more about that Monday. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a <em>great<\/em> weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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