{"id":306469,"date":"2020-10-10T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-10-10T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2\/"},"modified":"2020-10-10T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-10-10T11:00:05","slug":"parents-of-special-needs-kids-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents of Special Needs Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you have a child with special needs? Ginny Owens, Jennifer Shaw, Paul MIller, Sarah Parshall Perry, and Amy Julia Becker share stories of faith, joy, and hardship unique to parenting special children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-10-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883223","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2090],"tags":[4177],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9410,9298,3340,3530],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-306469","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-mothers","category-special-needs-child","tag-special-needs","cwp_profile-ginny-owens","cwp_profile-jennifer-shaw","cwp_profile-paul-miller","cwp_profile-sarah-parshall-perry","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306469\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306469\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vmJ7a61mhn\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2\/\">Parents of Special Needs Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/parents-of-special-needs-kids-2\/embed\/#?secret=vmJ7a61mhn\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Parents of Special Needs Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vmJ7a61mhn\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-10-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-10-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you ever ask your mom why she was as hands-off with you as she was? I\u2019m imagining myself, as a parent, and thinking, \u201cI would be diving in to try to protect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ginny: <\/strong>Well, I think she did in her own way; but I think she knew that I had to learn to be involved in life. I think my dad\u2014just having grown up with a blind person as his mother\u2014he also knew how important it was that I learned to be independent and that I learned to take care of myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say they weren\u2019t really hands-off; they just insisted that I do everything other kids did. In a way, they were more hands-on. My mom\/she didn\u2019t want me to have nervous tics or do different things. Somebody has to tell you: \u201cHey, the world can see you doing that; you don\u2019t want to do that,\u201d \u201cYou want to look in the direction of the person you\u2019re talking to,\u201d\u2014and cues: social cues\/visual cues that I had to learn. They were really hands-on about teaching me all those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That is Ginny Owens telling Dennis and Bob about the special parents that raised her. Even though she couldn\u2019t see a thing, she learned how to ride a bike; she took gymnastics and ballet; she climbed trees. In one sense, she is what we would call a normal kid. But you can imagine that mom\u2019s heart as her daughter learned how to ride a bike for the first time. I mean, there had to have been that pride of going, \u201cOh, she got it!\u201d; but there was also that great mixture of anxiety\/of what-ifs: \u201cWhat if she crashes into the tree?\u201d \u201cWhat if she ends up at the wrong place?\u201d \u201cWhat if she falls off a cliff that she didn\u2019t know was there?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing a parent is tough; but if you have a special needs child, that parenting calling has extra layers of toughness to it. Parenting a child that is displaying odd behaviors means being an <em>advocate<\/em> for your child, possibly countless doctors\u2019 appointments or a specialist\u2019s appointment, then receiving the diagnosis you didn\u2019t want to receive. But when doctors told Jennifer Shaw that her two-year-old son, Toby, had something called a sensory processing disorder, she was kind of relieved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Our youngest child started\u2014Toby\u2014he started developing some really bizarre and extreme behavior. He was just a baby, but he never learned to talk the way babies do. They start to babble, and then they start making words. He never did that; he just cried all the time. He couldn\u2019t eat; he couldn\u2019t be touched. It got to the point, by the time he was about two\u2014that he would just sit in his red chair\u2014and he didn\u2019t move; he didn\u2019t play; he didn\u2019t talk; he didn\u2019t eat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t really know what was wrong with him; that was right at the time when my dad was passing away. It was just, for me, a very dark and difficult time but, also, a time when I would say I started to question things in my faith: \u201cIs this faith true?\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cCan you stand on it when things are really bad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How long did you go before you got some kind of diagnosis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Toby was diagnosed at 24 months, pretty much exactly on his second birthday. When we got the diagnosis, it was as you said, it was such a relief. His diagnosis is Sensory Processing Disorder, which is SPD. It\u2019s related to autism in that, if you are autistic, you have it; but you can have it and not be autistic, which is the case of Toby. It\u2019s a neurological disorder, where his brain wasn\u2019t processing sensory input correctly. It looks really different in different children, because it\u2019s on a spectrum. You can either over-respond or under-respond to sensory input; in his case, he was completely over-responsive to touch. What that means is his brain was misinterpreting it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the impact of this on your marriage? I mean, it had to be dramatic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>You know, for me, all I can say to people is: \u201cIt can\u2019t have no effect. It\u2019s going to have an effect, one way or another.\u201d In our marriage, it actually strengthened our marriage. I don\u2019t give any credit to myself in that. To be real honest, my husband stepped up in a way that was truly sacrificial and was the hands and feet of Christ to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriage is much stronger than it was before this happened with Toby. I would have said we had a very happy marriage before we went through all of this with Toby; but it was the time that the Lord showed Himself to be faithful in ways that\u2014you know, I used to think were probably true\u2014but now, I know they are. Now we have a very <em>solid<\/em> marriage; and I know the character of my husband, and I respect it very much. That has been a tremendous blessing that God brought out of pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That\u2019s Jennifer Shaw. Jennifer has written a book out of her experience and out of that pain called <em>Life Not Typical: How Special Needs Parenting Changed My Faith and My Song<\/em>. Jennifer\u2019s also a singer\/songwriter. In fact, she\u2019s written a song celebrating every life; that song is <em>Your Child<\/em>. We have a link to that video on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. Check it out; you\u2019ll be blessed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t have a special needs child in your home, you probably don\u2019t know what happens <em>behind<\/em> the scenes. Paul Miller and his wife Jill are parents to a profoundly autistic daughter; her name is Kim. Recently, we talked with Paul. He gave us a glimpse of what parenting a special needs child can look like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>One of the things that autistic kids will do is, sometimes, they\u2019ll\u2014the big word they use is \u201cperseverate\u201d\u2014she\u2019ll do something again and again. She would run out in the hallway, and she would flip the light on, run back to bed; stay in bed for five minutes; then run back to the hallway and flip it off. She would do that for like an hour. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could sleep through this; Jill couldn\u2019t, so Jill would tell her to get back in bed. Because there were three doors separating us from Kim, and one floor, she had to tell her loudly, which sounds a lot like yelling. [Laughter] Jill would <em>yell<\/em> at Kim, and it really wouldn\u2019t do much good. It was just so simple\u2014like: \u201cKim, get back in bed.\u201d We call it the yelling approach to life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo years ago, last December, quarter to five in the morning, Kim starts pacing. I started to get up out of bed, because I had been convicted I should pray with Kim. Jill says to me, \u201cPaul, what are you going to do? Are you going to go yell at Kim?\u201d I said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m going to go <em>pray<\/em> with her, because yelling hasn\u2019t worked for ten years.\u201d She started laughing. She said, \u201cWhat do you mean, ten years? It\u2019s been twenty years!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went up\u2014I keep discovering areas of my life that have been <em>completely<\/em> prayer-less like this\u2014I go up, and I put my hands on Kim, just sat down next to her on the bed. I just prayed for her that God would just quiet her. As soon as I started praying for her, I <em>knew<\/em> something that I hadn\u2019t known before. It was just <em>so<\/em> clear; I knew that I had underestimated Kim\u2019s ability to pray on her own and to own her own behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn two years and four months, I have not forgotten that. It\u2019s led to Kim and I having a longer prayer time\/a separate prayer time every morning. Kim has started to tell people she\u2019s praying for them. She\u2019s starting to pray more in the middle of her anger meltdowns. It\u2019s kind of neat to see what God\u2019s done with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other track\u2014about four months after I started praying for Kim in the morning, dragging myself out of bed, going to the third floor\u2014her running <em>completely<\/em> stopped. It completely stopped, and she\u2019s never done it again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, were you praying that she\u2019d stop running?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes; I went upstairs; I prayed with her\u2014I should have been clear\u2014I said, you know, prayed, \u201cGod, calm her; help her not to run.\u201d Not very complicated, just praying what I wanted. It\u2019s completely stopped, and it <em>stopped<\/em> because we moved. What we hadn\u2019t known was there was a factory across the street, and the diesel trucks would start up and awaken her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the mystery of prayer\u2014and this is where you have to watch cynicism\u2014we were already planning that move. We already had an agreement of sale on our house, prior to that prayer. The cynical person would say, \u201cYou didn\u2019t need to pray; it would have happened anyway.\u201d I would say, \u201cI have to be like a little child, and I just have to go to my Father with what I see.\u201d You can\u2019t reverse-engineer prayer; you just have to be like a little child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That was Paul Miller. Did you catch the last words that he said?\u2014\u201cYou can\u2019t reverse-engineer prayer. You need to pray like a child.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a parent of a special needs child, I can identify with you a little bit. Awhile back, I was caregiver to a family member, who had some special needs; and it was a tough situation. But I received comfort from the passage in John 9\u2014you know the one I\u2019m talking about; right?\u2014where there was a man born blind. The disciples asked Jesus, \u201cWell, who sinned?\u2014the parents or the child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what Jesus came back with: \u201cThis happened that the works of God would be displayed through this\u201d\u2014special needs\u2014\u201cman, who was born blind.\u201d I hope you can draw comfort from that like I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, we need to take a break. On the other side, we\u2019re going to take a look at how God uses special needs parenting to fine-tune our relationship with Him. In two minutes we\u2019ll be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. We\u2019re talking about special needs kids on the broadcast today and encouraging the parents who are parenting them. Before kids, Sarah Parshall Perry worked in the professional world. In fact, you might recognize her mom, Janet Parshall. Sarah was an in-control lady, and she was in charge of everything. Then God blessed her with two very active little boys, who happen to be autistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>My previous response to handling hardship and difficulty was to <em>squeeze<\/em> it as hard as I possibly could. I thought, if I perseverated on something long enough, I could come up with a solution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and fix it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>\u2014and fix it! That\u2019s exactly it. \u201cIf I just stay awake long enough at night, turning it over in my mind, I will have that bolt from the blue and I will figure it out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the thing about kids is they do things, you don\u2019t see coming, <em>every single day<\/em>. It\u2019s like that, except times a <em>thousand<\/em>. In my case, times three\/so three thousand times harder than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Lord really did see that as an issue in my life; I didn\u2019t realize it was an issue until I had these kids. I thought, \u201cWell, shoot; I can\u2019t predict anything about this. Now, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m going to handle it.\u201d I would lay in bed, going, \u201cOkay, Lord, I really need You.\u201d That\u2019s the funny thing about hardship and challenges. It\u2019s only when you are so weighed-upon by challenges that your knees are on the floor and you\u2019re going, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s it, Lord. I give up. You have to come up with a solution, because I can\u2019t figure one out on my own.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I had a friend who said, \u201cAnything that drives you to dependence on Jesus is a <em>good<\/em> thing,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>That\u2019s it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cno matter what it feels like in the moment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you feel like today you are cured of your planning obsession and your\u2014are you still trying to force things into the way you wish they\u2019d happen every day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>I would say\u2014of 100 percent cure\u2014I\u2019m like 80 percent there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>I think we have an inclination, as sinners, to fall back into our own ways. I really have to pray about that a lot: \u201cLord, help me not to spend time getting anxious about this.\u201d The Lord\u2019s very clear about worry and anxiety. \u201cHelp me to just give this to You. You brought this into my life,\u201d\u2014again\u2014\u201cYou do not make mistakes; this is part of Your divine design. I can\u2019t see it\u2014this is a long-term race that I\u2019m in with You\u2014so You just bring it to fruition. I am totally relinquishing the control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy lesson really is that chaos can be beautiful. Sometimes, it is just order in disguise; because the Lord permits things in our lives that appear to fall apart, but His design is perfect. It is always there, no matter the challenges we face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Seeing God and finding the beauty within the chaos\u2014it can be <em>hard<\/em>. But I\u2019m so glad that we have people like Sarah Parshall Perry, who can articulate that we are on a long-term race; we\u2019re on a marathon with our Savior. All of our journeys look different, and some have more struggles than others; but through it all, He is there when we can only recognize it as chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know that happy day, when a mother gives birth to her firstborn, and daddy holds his little girl or his little boy for the first time, there are tears of happiness. But those tears of happiness can change to fear for the future in just a matter of hours. That\u2019s what happened to Amy Julia Becker when the nurse came in with the news that the doctor thought her newborn had Down syndrome. Now, that\u2019s a shocking change of events for any new parent; but I want you to hear how God changed those fears for the future into something else\u2014to something beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>There was this medical fear piece; but then there was also just the fear of not knowing\u2014having had, without even knowing it, a certain set of expectations of who my daughter would be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>\u2014and feeling as though they had all been completely swept away. There really was a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment in my mind, in my heart, and in my faith to understand who my daughter was and to really\u2014instead of seeing her as a problem that needed to be solved or fixed\u2014seeing her as a baby, who needed to be loved, and really beginning to receive her as a gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about the faith component of that. I really want to know how you processed that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>I felt some degree of guilt, fear, and just the\/I guess the disorientation. I felt as though I had come, without knowing it\u2014I was in seminary at the time\u2014I had come into the hospital with a theological grid, and I had a child who didn\u2019t fit in that grid. I thought that\u2014\u201cOkay, Down syndrome,\u201d \u2014at that point, I thought\u2014\u201cOh, this is something that\u2019s wrong with the world, and that means it\u2019s an aspect of sin. Does that mean my daughter is an example of what\u2019s wrong with the world? How do I love her? How does God love her? What does this mean?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had her in this different theological category, when what I needed was to understand the ways in which <em>both<\/em> of us had sinned in our life\/both of us had brokenness in our lives; and yet, both of us also were created in the image of God\u2014that there was far more that we had in common, theologically, than that was different. That took a long time for me to work out\u2014not only in my brain\u2014but also in my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How have you seen Him in a Down syndrome little girl? How have you seen God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>Penny has a spirit to her that helps me to see God. I remember, when she was very little, she was, even at age two, very enamored with Jesus. I remember we had this book\u2014it was a wonderful book that Moody Publishers puts it out\u2014all about these Jesus stories. They never show Jesus\u2019s face; you always see Him from the back. She just said over, and over, and over again: \u201cSee Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSimilarly, in that same book, there was a story of the Good Samaritan. She was <em>appalled<\/em>, as a two-year-old, that there was no one who would stop and help the man. She kept saying: \u201cMe help; me help!\u201d \u201cMama help; Mama help!\u201d Even to this day, if she sees an ambulance, she will say, \u201cMom we need to pray.\u201d There\u2019s just this attentiveness to the needs of others and <em>faith<\/em> that God will respond to those needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s some sort of spiritual acuity that I think she has that allows me to see the personal nature of our God. As someone who\u2019s pretty cerebral\u2014and who went to seminary, so knows all of these abstract ideas about God\u2014it can be easy for me to forget that God cares about us in a personal way and that God actually, in His being, is able to attend to the very mundane details of our lives. Penny reminds me of that, day in and day out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has really thrived; we have thrived as a family, because of her presence in it\u2014not for that reason alone\u2014but certainly in part because of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Today, Penny is a beautiful 11-year-old little girl. She has a younger brother and a sister, and God has just blessed the Becker family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope today has been encouragement to you if you have a special needs child. If you don\u2019t have a special needs child, I hope it has opened your eyes to how you can come alongside families within your church, or even your neighborhood, and how you can love on them and how you can serve them. As my producer says: \u201cThe smallest act of kindness is better than the grandest intention, so just do something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext week, we\u2019re going to talk about grandparenting. Some of you grandparents are finding yourself in a new role\u2014perhaps babysitter or a teacher\u2014your children are needing help with <em>their<\/em> children, whether it\u2019s due to COVID and the school situation or other life factors. We\u2019re going to talk about the role that you, as a grandparent, play and how you can best leave a legacy for your grandkids. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big, \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883223"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306469.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306469.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you have a child with special needs? Ginny Owens, Jennifer Shaw, Paul MIller, Sarah Parshall Perry, and Amy Julia Becker share stories of faith, joy, and hardship unique to parenting special children.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-10-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you ever ask your mom why she was as hands-off with you as she was? I\u2019m imagining myself, as a parent, and thinking, \u201cI would be diving in to try to protect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ginny: <\/strong>Well, I think she did in her own way; but I think she knew that I had to learn to be involved in life. I think my dad\u2014just having grown up with a blind person as his mother\u2014he also knew how important it was that I learned to be independent and that I learned to take care of myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say they weren\u2019t really hands-off; they just insisted that I do everything other kids did. In a way, they were more hands-on. My mom\/she didn\u2019t want me to have nervous tics or do different things. Somebody has to tell you: \u201cHey, the world can see you doing that; you don\u2019t want to do that,\u201d \u201cYou want to look in the direction of the person you\u2019re talking to,\u201d\u2014and cues: social cues\/visual cues that I had to learn. They were really hands-on about teaching me all those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That is Ginny Owens telling Dennis and Bob about the special parents that raised her. Even though she couldn\u2019t see a thing, she learned how to ride a bike; she took gymnastics and ballet; she climbed trees. In one sense, she is what we would call a normal kid. But you can imagine that mom\u2019s heart as her daughter learned how to ride a bike for the first time. I mean, there had to have been that pride of going, \u201cOh, she got it!\u201d; but there was also that great mixture of anxiety\/of what-ifs: \u201cWhat if she crashes into the tree?\u201d \u201cWhat if she ends up at the wrong place?\u201d \u201cWhat if she falls off a cliff that she didn\u2019t know was there?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing a parent is tough; but if you have a special needs child, that parenting calling has extra layers of toughness to it. Parenting a child that is displaying odd behaviors means being an <em>advocate<\/em> for your child, possibly countless doctors\u2019 appointments or a specialist\u2019s appointment, then receiving the diagnosis you didn\u2019t want to receive. But when doctors told Jennifer Shaw that her two-year-old son, Toby, had something called a sensory processing disorder, she was kind of relieved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Our youngest child started\u2014Toby\u2014he started developing some really bizarre and extreme behavior. He was just a baby, but he never learned to talk the way babies do. They start to babble, and then they start making words. He never did that; he just cried all the time. He couldn\u2019t eat; he couldn\u2019t be touched. It got to the point, by the time he was about two\u2014that he would just sit in his red chair\u2014and he didn\u2019t move; he didn\u2019t play; he didn\u2019t talk; he didn\u2019t eat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t really know what was wrong with him; that was right at the time when my dad was passing away. It was just, for me, a very dark and difficult time but, also, a time when I would say I started to question things in my faith: \u201cIs this faith true?\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cCan you stand on it when things are really bad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How long did you go before you got some kind of diagnosis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Toby was diagnosed at 24 months, pretty much exactly on his second birthday. When we got the diagnosis, it was as you said, it was such a relief. His diagnosis is Sensory Processing Disorder, which is SPD. It\u2019s related to autism in that, if you are autistic, you have it; but you can have it and not be autistic, which is the case of Toby. It\u2019s a neurological disorder, where his brain wasn\u2019t processing sensory input correctly. It looks really different in different children, because it\u2019s on a spectrum. You can either over-respond or under-respond to sensory input; in his case, he was completely over-responsive to touch. What that means is his brain was misinterpreting it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>What was the impact of this on your marriage? I mean, it had to be dramatic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>You know, for me, all I can say to people is: \u201cIt can\u2019t have no effect. It\u2019s going to have an effect, one way or another.\u201d In our marriage, it actually strengthened our marriage. I don\u2019t give any credit to myself in that. To be real honest, my husband stepped up in a way that was truly sacrificial and was the hands and feet of Christ to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur marriage is much stronger than it was before this happened with Toby. I would have said we had a very happy marriage before we went through all of this with Toby; but it was the time that the Lord showed Himself to be faithful in ways that\u2014you know, I used to think were probably true\u2014but now, I know they are. Now we have a very <em>solid<\/em> marriage; and I know the character of my husband, and I respect it very much. That has been a tremendous blessing that God brought out of pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That\u2019s Jennifer Shaw. Jennifer has written a book out of her experience and out of that pain called <em>Life Not Typical: How Special Needs Parenting Changed My Faith and My Song<\/em>. Jennifer\u2019s also a singer\/songwriter. In fact, she\u2019s written a song celebrating every life; that song is <em>Your Child<\/em>. We have a link to that video on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. Check it out; you\u2019ll be blessed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t have a special needs child in your home, you probably don\u2019t know what happens <em>behind<\/em> the scenes. Paul Miller and his wife Jill are parents to a profoundly autistic daughter; her name is Kim. Recently, we talked with Paul. He gave us a glimpse of what parenting a special needs child can look like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>One of the things that autistic kids will do is, sometimes, they\u2019ll\u2014the big word they use is \u201cperseverate\u201d\u2014she\u2019ll do something again and again. She would run out in the hallway, and she would flip the light on, run back to bed; stay in bed for five minutes; then run back to the hallway and flip it off. She would do that for like an hour. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could sleep through this; Jill couldn\u2019t, so Jill would tell her to get back in bed. Because there were three doors separating us from Kim, and one floor, she had to tell her loudly, which sounds a lot like yelling. [Laughter] Jill would <em>yell<\/em> at Kim, and it really wouldn\u2019t do much good. It was just so simple\u2014like: \u201cKim, get back in bed.\u201d We call it the yelling approach to life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo years ago, last December, quarter to five in the morning, Kim starts pacing. I started to get up out of bed, because I had been convicted I should pray with Kim. Jill says to me, \u201cPaul, what are you going to do? Are you going to go yell at Kim?\u201d I said, \u201cNo; I\u2019m going to go <em>pray<\/em> with her, because yelling hasn\u2019t worked for ten years.\u201d She started laughing. She said, \u201cWhat do you mean, ten years? It\u2019s been twenty years!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went up\u2014I keep discovering areas of my life that have been <em>completely<\/em> prayer-less like this\u2014I go up, and I put my hands on Kim, just sat down next to her on the bed. I just prayed for her that God would just quiet her. As soon as I started praying for her, I <em>knew<\/em> something that I hadn\u2019t known before. It was just <em>so<\/em> clear; I knew that I had underestimated Kim\u2019s ability to pray on her own and to own her own behavior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn two years and four months, I have not forgotten that. It\u2019s led to Kim and I having a longer prayer time\/a separate prayer time every morning. Kim has started to tell people she\u2019s praying for them. She\u2019s starting to pray more in the middle of her anger meltdowns. It\u2019s kind of neat to see what God\u2019s done with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other track\u2014about four months after I started praying for Kim in the morning, dragging myself out of bed, going to the third floor\u2014her running <em>completely<\/em> stopped. It completely stopped, and she\u2019s never done it again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Now, were you praying that she\u2019d stop running?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Yes; I went upstairs; I prayed with her\u2014I should have been clear\u2014I said, you know, prayed, \u201cGod, calm her; help her not to run.\u201d Not very complicated, just praying what I wanted. It\u2019s completely stopped, and it <em>stopped<\/em> because we moved. What we hadn\u2019t known was there was a factory across the street, and the diesel trucks would start up and awaken her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the mystery of prayer\u2014and this is where you have to watch cynicism\u2014we were already planning that move. We already had an agreement of sale on our house, prior to that prayer. The cynical person would say, \u201cYou didn\u2019t need to pray; it would have happened anyway.\u201d I would say, \u201cI have to be like a little child, and I just have to go to my Father with what I see.\u201d You can\u2019t reverse-engineer prayer; you just have to be like a little child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>That was Paul Miller. Did you catch the last words that he said?\u2014\u201cYou can\u2019t reverse-engineer prayer. You need to pray like a child.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a parent of a special needs child, I can identify with you a little bit. Awhile back, I was caregiver to a family member, who had some special needs; and it was a tough situation. But I received comfort from the passage in John 9\u2014you know the one I\u2019m talking about; right?\u2014where there was a man born blind. The disciples asked Jesus, \u201cWell, who sinned?\u2014the parents or the child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what Jesus came back with: \u201cThis happened that the works of God would be displayed through this\u201d\u2014special needs\u2014\u201cman, who was born blind.\u201d I hope you can draw comfort from that like I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, we need to take a break. On the other side, we\u2019re going to take a look at how God uses special needs parenting to fine-tune our relationship with Him. In two minutes we\u2019ll be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. We\u2019re talking about special needs kids on the broadcast today and encouraging the parents who are parenting them. Before kids, Sarah Parshall Perry worked in the professional world. In fact, you might recognize her mom, Janet Parshall. Sarah was an in-control lady, and she was in charge of everything. Then God blessed her with two very active little boys, who happen to be autistic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>My previous response to handling hardship and difficulty was to <em>squeeze<\/em> it as hard as I possibly could. I thought, if I perseverated on something long enough, I could come up with a solution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and fix it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>\u2014and fix it! That\u2019s exactly it. \u201cIf I just stay awake long enough at night, turning it over in my mind, I will have that bolt from the blue and I will figure it out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the thing about kids is they do things, you don\u2019t see coming, <em>every single day<\/em>. It\u2019s like that, except times a <em>thousand<\/em>. In my case, times three\/so three thousand times harder than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Lord really did see that as an issue in my life; I didn\u2019t realize it was an issue until I had these kids. I thought, \u201cWell, shoot; I can\u2019t predict anything about this. Now, I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m going to handle it.\u201d I would lay in bed, going, \u201cOkay, Lord, I really need You.\u201d That\u2019s the funny thing about hardship and challenges. It\u2019s only when you are so weighed-upon by challenges that your knees are on the floor and you\u2019re going, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s it, Lord. I give up. You have to come up with a solution, because I can\u2019t figure one out on my own.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I had a friend who said, \u201cAnything that drives you to dependence on Jesus is a <em>good<\/em> thing,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>That\u2019s it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cno matter what it feels like in the moment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you feel like today you are cured of your planning obsession and your\u2014are you still trying to force things into the way you wish they\u2019d happen every day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>I would say\u2014of 100 percent cure\u2014I\u2019m like 80 percent there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>I think we have an inclination, as sinners, to fall back into our own ways. I really have to pray about that a lot: \u201cLord, help me not to spend time getting anxious about this.\u201d The Lord\u2019s very clear about worry and anxiety. \u201cHelp me to just give this to You. You brought this into my life,\u201d\u2014again\u2014\u201cYou do not make mistakes; this is part of Your divine design. I can\u2019t see it\u2014this is a long-term race that I\u2019m in with You\u2014so You just bring it to fruition. I am totally relinquishing the control.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy lesson really is that chaos can be beautiful. Sometimes, it is just order in disguise; because the Lord permits things in our lives that appear to fall apart, but His design is perfect. It is always there, no matter the challenges we face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Seeing God and finding the beauty within the chaos\u2014it can be <em>hard<\/em>. But I\u2019m so glad that we have people like Sarah Parshall Perry, who can articulate that we are on a long-term race; we\u2019re on a marathon with our Savior. All of our journeys look different, and some have more struggles than others; but through it all, He is there when we can only recognize it as chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know that happy day, when a mother gives birth to her firstborn, and daddy holds his little girl or his little boy for the first time, there are tears of happiness. But those tears of happiness can change to fear for the future in just a matter of hours. That\u2019s what happened to Amy Julia Becker when the nurse came in with the news that the doctor thought her newborn had Down syndrome. Now, that\u2019s a shocking change of events for any new parent; but I want you to hear how God changed those fears for the future into something else\u2014to something beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[<em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>There was this medical fear piece; but then there was also just the fear of not knowing\u2014having had, without even knowing it, a certain set of expectations of who my daughter would be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>\u2014and feeling as though they had all been completely swept away. There really was a <em>huge<\/em> adjustment in my mind, in my heart, and in my faith to understand who my daughter was and to really\u2014instead of seeing her as a problem that needed to be solved or fixed\u2014seeing her as a baby, who needed to be loved, and really beginning to receive her as a gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Let\u2019s talk about the faith component of that. I really want to know how you processed that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>I felt some degree of guilt, fear, and just the\/I guess the disorientation. I felt as though I had come, without knowing it\u2014I was in seminary at the time\u2014I had come into the hospital with a theological grid, and I had a child who didn\u2019t fit in that grid. I thought that\u2014\u201cOkay, Down syndrome,\u201d \u2014at that point, I thought\u2014\u201cOh, this is something that\u2019s wrong with the world, and that means it\u2019s an aspect of sin. Does that mean my daughter is an example of what\u2019s wrong with the world? How do I love her? How does God love her? What does this mean?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had her in this different theological category, when what I needed was to understand the ways in which <em>both<\/em> of us had sinned in our life\/both of us had brokenness in our lives; and yet, both of us also were created in the image of God\u2014that there was far more that we had in common, theologically, than that was different. That took a long time for me to work out\u2014not only in my brain\u2014but also in my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How have you seen Him in a Down syndrome little girl? How have you seen God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Amy: <\/strong>Penny has a spirit to her that helps me to see God. I remember, when she was very little, she was, even at age two, very enamored with Jesus. I remember we had this book\u2014it was a wonderful book that Moody Publishers puts it out\u2014all about these Jesus stories. They never show Jesus\u2019s face; you always see Him from the back. She just said over, and over, and over again: \u201cSee Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSimilarly, in that same book, there was a story of the Good Samaritan. She was <em>appalled<\/em>, as a two-year-old, that there was no one who would stop and help the man. She kept saying: \u201cMe help; me help!\u201d \u201cMama help; Mama help!\u201d Even to this day, if she sees an ambulance, she will say, \u201cMom we need to pray.\u201d There\u2019s just this attentiveness to the needs of others and <em>faith<\/em> that God will respond to those needs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s some sort of spiritual acuity that I think she has that allows me to see the personal nature of our God. As someone who\u2019s pretty cerebral\u2014and who went to seminary, so knows all of these abstract ideas about God\u2014it can be easy for me to forget that God cares about us in a personal way and that God actually, in His being, is able to attend to the very mundane details of our lives. Penny reminds me of that, day in and day out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has really thrived; we have thrived as a family, because of her presence in it\u2014not for that reason alone\u2014but certainly in part because of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Today, Penny is a beautiful 11-year-old little girl. She has a younger brother and a sister, and God has just blessed the Becker family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope today has been encouragement to you if you have a special needs child. If you don\u2019t have a special needs child, I hope it has opened your eyes to how you can come alongside families within your church, or even your neighborhood, and how you can love on them and how you can serve them. As my producer says: \u201cThe smallest act of kindness is better than the grandest intention, so just do something.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext week, we\u2019re going to talk about grandparenting. Some of you grandparents are finding yourself in a new role\u2014perhaps babysitter or a teacher\u2014your children are needing help with <em>their<\/em> children, whether it\u2019s due to COVID and the school situation or other life factors. We\u2019re going to talk about the role that you, as a grandparent, play and how you can best leave a legacy for your grandkids. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big, \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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