{"id":306454,"date":"2020-10-05T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-10-05T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross\/"},"modified":"2020-10-05T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-10-05T11:00:04","slug":"suffering-in-light-of-the-cross","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross\/","title":{"rendered":"Suffering in Light of the Cross"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;God doesn&#8217;t exist. And if He does, He&#8217;s one sick individual,&#8221; thought Mez McConnell, a childhood victim of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his stepmom. McConnell describes his heartbreaking path from abuse to schoolyard bullying and, ultimately, to a prison term before finding the love of Jesus.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=95.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\n \tHave the FamilyLife Today\u00ae podcast and resources helped you?\u00a0 Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife.\u00a0https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/legacy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a child, Mez McConnell suffered physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his stepmom. Mez describes his path from abuse to schoolyard bullying and, ultimately, to a prison term before finding Jesus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-10-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:24","filesize":"23.25M","filesize_raw":"24381926","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2906,2848,2822],"tags":[2949],"podcast_series":[8396],"cwp_profile":[9661],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306454","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-christian","category-cultural-issues","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-abuse","podcast_series-the-creaking-on-the-stairs","cwp_profile-mez-mcconnell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306454\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306454\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"eb42egW0UA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross\/\">Suffering in Light of the Cross<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/suffering-in-light-of-the-cross\/embed\/#?secret=eb42egW0UA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Suffering in Light of the Cross&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"eb42egW0UA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-10-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-10-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mez McConnell grew up in Scotland, being physically abused by his stepmother. Early on, he had to develop strategies for survival.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> The rule is: \u201cProtect your kidneys at all costs\u201d; that\u2019s the painful one. As long as I didn\u2019t get a kick to the kidneys\u2014I could take the kick to the face and the head\u2014so try and get your back to the wall if you can. It took me a couple of years to learn that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How does a young person learn to survive when their regular experience is physical abuse at home? We\u2019ll talk to Mez McConnell about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think one of the questions that plagues all of us is when we stop and wonder: \u201cWhere is God in the midst of some of the stories we hear about people, particularly children, who are experiencing abuse\/who are suffering?\u201d We think, \u201cHow can a good, loving, compassionate God allow that to continue if, indeed, He has the power to keep that from happening?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m wondering if all of us go through a time, where we wonder that: when we lose a spouse, a child, when there\u2019s been abuse. I know I\u2019ve wondered that: \u201cGod, I\u2019ve been praying all these times\u2014for all these months or years\u2014and it seems like You don\u2019t even hear me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would say, after 40 years in ministry, that is <em>the<\/em> number-one question, in my opinion. It\u2019s universal, because it\u2019s a real\u2014how do you answer that question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are connecting with someone, whose life story gives some light on that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mez McConnell is joining us. We should say, he is joining us, virtually, because Mez is in Edinburgh, Scotland; we\u2019re in Little Rock, Arkansas. Technology is making it possible for us to connect. Mez, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Thanks for having me, guys. I appreciate it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I just looked it up; it\u2019s 4,238 miles in between us. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Nice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mez gives leadership to a ministry called 20schemes. Mez, explain to our listeners what 20schemes is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> A scheme in Scotland is somewhere\u2014like imagine a trailer park crossed with a project crossed with a North American Indian reservation\u2014it\u2019s where, historically, the working-class poor lived. My scheme, for instance, is over 200 years old; families have lived on them for two centuries. In that sense, they have that North American Indian culture. About two million people in Scotland live in schemes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20schemes aims to plant or revitalize gospel-preaching churches in 20 of Scotland\u2019s poorest communities. You\u2019re more likely to find a Christian walking down the street in Saudi Arabia than you are in a housing scheme in Scotland. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow; oh, my word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow; so what does that look like? How do you plant a church there? Are they receptive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, very receptive. Historically, the \u201860s was a peak in the UK in schemes; the churches would\u2019ve been filled. The last five decades has been a steady decline. Culturally, people recognize a church building in the middle of their community; because that\u2019s where their grandma went to Sunday school, or their parents were buried, etc. There\u2019s a cultural acceptance of the church as an entity, but largely viewed as irrelevant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe currently have ten church plants in various levels across four cities in Scotland; families move in. In some instances, we take over old church buildings and we revitalize them. We\u2019re seeing success; we\u2019re seeing people converted\/saved. God\u2019s doing the business amongst the poor in Scotland right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re grateful for that ministry and also grateful for the story you have shared in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs.<\/em> Honestly, Mez, as I read through this book, I thought, \u201cIf this was a part of my background, this is a story I would not want to revisit.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s certainly not a story I could\u2019ve written in my 20s. In fact, I signed the contract for the book four years before I first wrote a word of it. It was difficult to know what to leave out and what not to leave out. There\u2019s a phenomenon out here called \u201cpoverty [unintelligible].\u201d One wants to hear about poverty and get all the [unintelligible], you know\u2014juicy as possible\u2014and I wanted to try to avoid that and make the book about Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The overarching story you tell is the story of the abuse you experienced at the hands of your stepmother, primarily, for a period of years\u2014for how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> About 11 years, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about abuse that was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014horrific. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so significant you passed out on many occasions from beatings that you experienced at her hand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, yes; beaten unconscious. It\u2019s actually abuse by her friends\/neighbors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Give us the overview of your family situation. When did your mom pass?\u2014did your parents divorce? Take us back to the beginning of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I\u2019m actually from Ireland, the Republic of Ireland. I was born in Ireland in the \u201870s. My mother, I think, is still alive\u2014walked out on us; I was two years old. My dad was just drinking and gambling\u2014a young man; he\u2019d have been 21\/22.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy sister and I\u2014who\u2019s a year older than me\u2014we ended up in care in Northern Ireland in the early \u201870s, which was at the height of the IRA bombing campaign. I don\u2019t know if you know much about the IRA then. A big group of children were put on boats and shipped to England. I ended up in an orphanage, if you like, in the north of England.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How old were you when you were put into an orphanage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I would\u2019ve been two when I first went in. I think I was seven when I came to England. I went to a big children\u2019s home in Yorkshire. My dad had moved to England by then with this woman. We were sort of in and out of care\u2014I would be in foster parents for awhile; then I\u2019d come back and stay with them\/back with my dad and this woman for awhile; then I\u2019d be back in care. That went on for a number of years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why would you be removed from your home?\u2014because a social worker was recognizing you were in danger in your home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, yes; we weren\u2019t told. We would just be removed in the early hours of the morning\/whatever. People would come in\/strangers, and just take us, and we would be taken away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But how did anyone even know what was happening to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I\u2019m assuming school reports\/things like that. It would be pretty apparent; we were pretty malnourished.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As we were reading the book, when you went to be with your dad and your stepmom, it was <em>really<\/em> horrific; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> She was a very brutally cruel woman. Yes, we\u2019d be starved and beaten. You understand my dad was a young man in his 20s. He had two kids; he liked to drink. He worked; he was a [unintelligible]; he still is. He liked to drink; he was out a lot. She, obviously, had a lot of anger towards him for dumping what she would\u2019ve viewed as \u201chis kids\u201d on her to look after. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe wasn\u2019t the smartest person, I came to realize. She used to beat me just for reading. If I was caught with a book, I was tortured. It wasn\u2019t until I was older\/much older that I discovered, \u201cAw, she couldn\u2019t even read very well.\u201d She had probably a lot of insecurities that were inflicted on me and my sister. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Obviously, you\u2019re building up\u2014even as a young boy, then a young man\u2014this bitterness. It becomes a story that people learn about when you write\u2014what was it?\u2014a blog, after her death: \u201cDing dong, the wicked witch is dead.\u201d Talk about that; because that\u2019s sort of, in some ways, why we\u2019re sitting here today, because then the world found out your story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; you have to understand that there\u2019s a previous book to this book called <em>Is There Anybody Out There?<\/em> Don\u2019t know if you realize that\u2014which I wrote about\/it must be about 15 years old now\u2014which is the first book to <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em>. It\u2019s quite well-known, in that sense; but the kernel of the idea\u2014I didn\u2019t intend to write a book on child abuse\u2014I was in the house one night, and a friend texted me and said, \u201cDo you know she has died?\u201d\u2014this woman. I said, \u201cNo.\u201d Then, obviously, went online and googled it; and there she was\u2014she had died very young. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI couldn\u2019t sleep. I hadn\u2019t thought about it for a long time. I just sort of wrote\u2014I like to write because it helps me to relax, so I wrote this blog. Then, the thing just went mental; I think about a million hits or something in the first 24 hours. I was getting hundreds of communications from around the world, from pastors and other people who had been abused, and said it resonated with them. Quite a few people suggested, \u201cWould you write a book?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t feel like I want to do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t remember why\/how it came about; but then I thought, \u201cYou know, maybe I ought to write a book; but I want to write a book that\u2019s evangelistic\/that\u2019s honest. That it\u2019s alright to say, \u2018Hang on a minute. If God\u2019s out there, why is He allowing this to happen to us?\u2019\u201d There\u2019s not very many honest books out there. I didn\u2019t want to make it an intellectual apologetics book. I wanted to make it a sort of raw, visceral \u201cThis is the path I walked,\u201d to try and get some answers. Even then, those answers aren\u2019t always satisfactory; are they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, Mez, walk us back through some of that. You were with this stepmom for how many years?\u2014and the abuse was constant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Between the ages of two to thirteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Those are significant years too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, yes. And I\u2019m talking <em>terrorized<\/em>; yes, it was pretty bad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If abuse starts at the age of two, you\u2019re probably not even able to process, at any level, what\u2019s happening to you. It becomes the expectation that this is what life is like, to be beaten like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t process what happened to me until after she left and my dad remarried. I was 13 years old and in high school. I just assumed, this is what happened to people. No one ever talked about it, and so I never talked about it. It\u2019s only as I grew and matured and I thought, \u201cHang on a minute. This wasn\u2019t right what happened to me.\u201d Then I began to get very angry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think I was in my 20s. I had grown up with sexual abuse; and in my 20s was the first time I think I realized, \u201cOh, I was sexually abused.\u201d It was life; it was normal; I didn\u2019t know anything different. I didn\u2019t know other people didn\u2019t experience that. Then you go through a whole processing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that time, walk us through\u2014look at your life\u2014God has redeemed and done so much. What was your belief about God in those years, growing up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t grow up in a religious family, obviously. I sort of believed in God as a kid. There wasn\u2019t a rational belief system; I just thought there must be something out there. I think I mentioned in the book\u2014I tried praying, as a kid, and saying, \u201cLord, please help me, and do this and that.\u201d But nothing was happening; so I thought, \u201cThis is nothing; I\u2019m wasting my time.\u201d As I got older, and sometimes I\u2019d hear people talk about God, and I\u2019d be very, very like, \u201cI\u2019m not having it. God doesn\u2019t exist. If He did exist, He\u2019s one sick individual.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs soon as I hit my sort of late teens\u2014sort of 16\/17\u2014started getting heavily involved in drugs, and crime, and stuff; then, I had lots of anger and frustration. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In those years, when you were being abused by your stepmother, was your father aware this was happening to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> We had this discussion. He says he wasn\u2019t, and I largely believe him; but at the same time, he must have had some inkling what was going on. To be fair to him, the only time he really saw her beating me, she was beating me with a big brass iron over the head. That\u2019s the time he kicked her out, and she never came back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I look back\/I reflect back on that\u2014again, I don\u2019t want to justify things for my dad; I love my dad; he was a young guy, in his 20s\u2014no way could he be responsible for two children. In fact, she was, probably to him, just a glorified babysitter. He was always out with his pals, watching the football, drinking; always down at the betting shop. Ironically, his gambling caused me the most pain as a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain that. What do you mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> It was the same every Friday. He would get paid, and he would go straight to the bookies\/the betting shops. He\u2019d do his whole wages on the horses. If it was a bad Friday\u2014and nine times out of ten, it was a bad Friday\u2014all his wages were gone; and he would roll in, drunk. I would get absolutely tortured for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes she would send me out on a Friday\u2014I\u2019m talking five, six, seven years old\u2014barefoot, down the road, to the bookies. I had to go in, try to get him to come out. If I didn\u2019t get him to come out, I got beaten. I don\u2019t think he quite realizes that; we have talked since. He\u2019s not read this book; he\u2019s read the first one. I don\u2019t think he quite realized how some of that behavior\/that his behavior, actually, affected me and my sister detrimentally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was going to ask about your sister. Was she going through all the same kind of abuse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, yes; worse for her\u2014she was disabled\u2014she had a bone missing in her arm and leg. So yes; she took it. She was absolutely <em>hammered<\/em>. She was a year older than me. Often, we\u2019d be separated and sent into different foster care\u2014stuff like that. It was just chaos. You wonder how children survive it. I wonder now\u2014like, \u201cWe just got on with it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you survive it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I have <em>no<\/em> idea. I\u2019d love to give you the cheesy\/the \u201cgrace of God\u201d answer\u2014and I\u2019m sure that\u2019s correct\u2014but I survived it by reading books. I was a little book smuggler. [Laughter] I could read, apparently, from the age of three, from a book. I can\u2019t remember a time when I\u2019ve not read. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to be careful, because I would be beaten. Sometimes, she would strip me naked and make me stand outside in the cold if she caught me with a book. I had various hiding places out in the garden and in walls down the road. I liked to read, and it was sort of like my escape from reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was being beaten something that was happening to you daily\/weekly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; daily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Daily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Several times; oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And was there ever a time, as seven-year-old boy, that you picked up a stick and threatened her?\u2014tried to fight back at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> No, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I was too small\/I was a small little fella. The first time I remember fighting back in that sense, I think I was about 12 years old. She was kicking me in the face for some reason; I can\u2019t remember what it was. I remember I just sat up and I just said, \u201cLook, I\u2019ve had enough of this. You\u2019re not my mother; get away from me.\u201d That stopped her in her tracks for half a day, anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did see her\u2014she left when I was about 14, I think. My dad married when I was about 14 or 15\u2014remarried\u2014but anyway, she left. I was halfway through grammar school, which I got tortured for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Meaning you were tortured because\u2014explain what grammar school is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Grammar school\u2014there was a dual system in the UK at the time; there still is to some degree\u2014there\u2019s a national exam that children, age 11, would take called the Eleven-plus Exam. That would establish whether you went to a comprehensive school, just like a normal comprehensive high school; or you went to what was called a grammar school that\u2019s for children who fall into this top two percent intelligent pupils in the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI won a place into grammar school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which was <em>amazing<\/em> and exciting for you, I\u2019m thinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, I was <em>buzzing<\/em>; but she was absolutely incandescent about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She\u2019s upset because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re smart!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know; yes. She always told me: \u201cYou\u2019re thick,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re stupid,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a moron,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a loser,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll never be good at anything. You\u2019re just like your dad.\u201d All that was drilled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when I came home with that piece of paper, that was a <em>glorious<\/em> moment\u2014let me tell you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain what happened. You brought home the paper that was going to tell whether you\u2019re going to grammar school or whether you\u2019re going to comprehensive school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; I took it, and I passed with actually a lot of distinction\u2014could\u2019ve picked any school I wanted to go to, because of my marks. She kicked me up and down the stairs that day. But I loved it\u2014\u201cBring it on,\u201d\u2014it was brilliant. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> She never called me \u201cstupid\u201d again, let me tell you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you say you, \u201cloved it; bring it on,\u201d what do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I took it; it was a sweet beating. We used to call them \u201csweet beatings,\u201d\u2014me and my sister. There\u2019s beatings\u2014and I know it sounds a bit mad\u2014but when it\u2019s been happening for a decade, it\u2019s like breathing. Some were sweet\u2014that was a particularly sweet one\u2014she could\u2019ve beat me all day long, it wouldn\u2019t have mattered; it wouldn\u2019t have taken the joy out of me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So did you just lay there and take it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, I took it; oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you curl up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I curled, yes. The rule is: \u201cProtect your kidneys at all costs,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the painful one\u2014so try and get your back to the wall if you can. It took me a couple of years to learn that one. As long as I didn\u2019t get a kick to the kidneys\u2014I could take a kick to the face and the head\u2014you just protect your head; all you get, really, is bruised arms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mez, you said that, early, you just assumed that this was normal\u2014that all kids were getting this kind of behavior; this is what life\u2019s all about. When did it dawn on you, \u201cThis is not how it\u2019s supposed to be\u201d? Was it while it was still going on?\u2014or after you were older?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I was a bit older. What happened was\u2014I went to this grammar school. I wasn\u2019t really accepted there; I came from a really poor housing estate. These were kids who came from private school education, so I stood out a little bit; got into a bit of trouble there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy grades were great; my grades were A\u2019s. A teacher one day was trying to humiliate me in front of the class about where I came from. I didn\u2019t have the right uniform\/clothes on; because I wasn\u2019t given clothes. We\u2019d get money from social services to buy me clothes, but they weren\u2019t exactly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Seville Row?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; so I looked like a homeless kid. I got a lot of stick for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne teacher was particularly trying to humiliate me. I picked up a chair and smacked him around the head with it. I think I might have been around 13 or 14. Then, I was taken to the headmaster\u2019s office; and there was a big thing about, \u201cYou can\u2019t behave like this,\u201d\u2014and da, da, da, da. I was like, \u201cEverybody back right up. I can\u2019t lose my temper\u2014and here\u2019s someone\u2014that\u2019s fine\u2014but I\u2019ve been taking this now for 11 years, and not one of you people have helped me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter that, that was a line\u2014that I\u2019m like, \u201cI am now going to be uncooperative to anybody in authority.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You told them, basically, \u201cThis has been my life growing up.\u201d Was there any response or reaction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Nothing; it\u2019s like, \u201cYour pain isn\u2019t acceptable; we don\u2019t care,\u201d\u2014da, da, da, da. \u201cFine.\u201d After that, then, I drew a line in the sand and thought, \u201cRight; well, I\u2019m not having this.\u201d And I got sucked into drugs and stuff very early then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course, you would grow up with incredible anger, unresolved things\u2014I\u2019m thinking, self-hatred\u2014all kinds of things that took you on a path of drugs; then you end up in prison.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s correct; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening to the first part of a conversation we had recently with Mez McConnell. You know, you hear Mez\u2019s story, which he has shared in a book called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em>. You think, \u201cHow does God take someone with this background, and bring life back into him, and then use him for the kingdom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s one of those, if you look at his story\/read it on paper, you say, \u201cThere\u2019s no way this young man even <em>survives<\/em>.\u201d When I hear Mez talk and read his book, I\u2019m like, \u201cThis is the \u2018but God\u2019 in Scripture.\u201d This is the darkness\/this is the desperation; but God, through His grace\/through His mercy, has saved us. Apart from God, there is no\u2014but with God, there is a miracle! With God, all things are possible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was going to say\u2014it\u2019s a <em>miraculous<\/em> story that\u2019s really inspiring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and we\u2019ve just heard the first part of it. In fact, Mez tells the story in a book he\u2019s written called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs: Finding Faith in God Through Childhood Abuse<\/em>. We\u2019ve got that book available for our listeners. If you\u2019d like a copy, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, the book is called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em> by Mez McConnell. Find it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329 to order your copy\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason we have these kinds of conversations is because there are so many families with so many challenges\u2014so many people, who are trying to start a family today\/raise their own kids, and their background is horrific, like Mez\u2019s\u2014they\u2019ve experienced the same kind of abuse or dysfunction\u2014the hurt\/the trauma that sometimes happens in a family setting. It\u2019s hard to know how to chart a new course when your own experience is as horrific as Mez\u2019s was. At FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we are <em>convinced<\/em> that God is able to bring beauty from ashes\u2014that He\u2019s able to equip, and strengthen, and empower people to put a stake in the ground and to chart a new legacy. Dave, you\u2019ve talked about that many times; that\u2019s a part of <em>your<\/em> story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to be here for <em>you<\/em>, regularly, with practical biblical help and hope as you seek to effectively develop a godly marriage and family\u2014the resources that are available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; our audio library that can be accessed for free anytime, with programs you can listen to on a wide variety of marriage and family subjects\u2014we\u2019re here to help equip <em>you<\/em> in the most important relationships we have in life: your relationship with God, with your spouse, with your kids, with your extended family. That\u2019s what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d today to the folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for all of us, those of you who are regular donors to this ministry, either monthly Legacy Partners or those of you who, from time to time, will pitch in to make this program possible. You\u2019re helping to change tens of thousands of legacies through your investment in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a longtime listener, you\u2019ve never made a donation, we\u2019d love to have you join us today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate online, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to donate. On behalf of those who will benefit from your investment in them, thank you for making that investment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue to hear more from Mez McConnell about his experience and find out how he wound up in Bible school preparing to be a church planter. That comes up tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:24"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.25M"],"filesize_raw":["24381926"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306454.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306454.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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a child, Mez McConnell suffered physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his stepmom. Mez describes his path from abuse to schoolyard bullying and, ultimately, to a prison term before finding Jesus.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-10-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mez McConnell grew up in Scotland, being physically abused by his stepmother. Early on, he had to develop strategies for survival.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> The rule is: \u201cProtect your kidneys at all costs\u201d; that\u2019s the painful one. As long as I didn\u2019t get a kick to the kidneys\u2014I could take the kick to the face and the head\u2014so try and get your back to the wall if you can. It took me a couple of years to learn that one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How does a young person learn to survive when their regular experience is physical abuse at home? We\u2019ll talk to Mez McConnell about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think one of the questions that plagues all of us is when we stop and wonder: \u201cWhere is God in the midst of some of the stories we hear about people, particularly children, who are experiencing abuse\/who are suffering?\u201d We think, \u201cHow can a good, loving, compassionate God allow that to continue if, indeed, He has the power to keep that from happening?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m wondering if all of us go through a time, where we wonder that: when we lose a spouse, a child, when there\u2019s been abuse. I know I\u2019ve wondered that: \u201cGod, I\u2019ve been praying all these times\u2014for all these months or years\u2014and it seems like You don\u2019t even hear me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I would say, after 40 years in ministry, that is <em>the<\/em> number-one question, in my opinion. It\u2019s universal, because it\u2019s a real\u2014how do you answer that question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are connecting with someone, whose life story gives some light on that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mez McConnell is joining us. We should say, he is joining us, virtually, because Mez is in Edinburgh, Scotland; we\u2019re in Little Rock, Arkansas. Technology is making it possible for us to connect. Mez, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Thanks for having me, guys. I appreciate it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I just looked it up; it\u2019s 4,238 miles in between us. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Nice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mez gives leadership to a ministry called 20schemes. Mez, explain to our listeners what 20schemes is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> A scheme in Scotland is somewhere\u2014like imagine a trailer park crossed with a project crossed with a North American Indian reservation\u2014it\u2019s where, historically, the working-class poor lived. My scheme, for instance, is over 200 years old; families have lived on them for two centuries. In that sense, they have that North American Indian culture. About two million people in Scotland live in schemes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t20schemes aims to plant or revitalize gospel-preaching churches in 20 of Scotland\u2019s poorest communities. You\u2019re more likely to find a Christian walking down the street in Saudi Arabia than you are in a housing scheme in Scotland. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow; oh, my word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow; so what does that look like? How do you plant a church there? Are they receptive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, very receptive. Historically, the \u201860s was a peak in the UK in schemes; the churches would\u2019ve been filled. The last five decades has been a steady decline. Culturally, people recognize a church building in the middle of their community; because that\u2019s where their grandma went to Sunday school, or their parents were buried, etc. There\u2019s a cultural acceptance of the church as an entity, but largely viewed as irrelevant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe currently have ten church plants in various levels across four cities in Scotland; families move in. In some instances, we take over old church buildings and we revitalize them. We\u2019re seeing success; we\u2019re seeing people converted\/saved. God\u2019s doing the business amongst the poor in Scotland right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re grateful for that ministry and also grateful for the story you have shared in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs.<\/em> Honestly, Mez, as I read through this book, I thought, \u201cIf this was a part of my background, this is a story I would not want to revisit.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s certainly not a story I could\u2019ve written in my 20s. In fact, I signed the contract for the book four years before I first wrote a word of it. It was difficult to know what to leave out and what not to leave out. There\u2019s a phenomenon out here called \u201cpoverty [unintelligible].\u201d One wants to hear about poverty and get all the [unintelligible], you know\u2014juicy as possible\u2014and I wanted to try to avoid that and make the book about Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The overarching story you tell is the story of the abuse you experienced at the hands of your stepmother, primarily, for a period of years\u2014for how many years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> About 11 years, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about abuse that was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014horrific. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014so significant you passed out on many occasions from beatings that you experienced at her hand. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, yes; beaten unconscious. It\u2019s actually abuse by her friends\/neighbors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Give us the overview of your family situation. When did your mom pass?\u2014did your parents divorce? Take us back to the beginning of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I\u2019m actually from Ireland, the Republic of Ireland. I was born in Ireland in the \u201870s. My mother, I think, is still alive\u2014walked out on us; I was two years old. My dad was just drinking and gambling\u2014a young man; he\u2019d have been 21\/22.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy sister and I\u2014who\u2019s a year older than me\u2014we ended up in care in Northern Ireland in the early \u201870s, which was at the height of the IRA bombing campaign. I don\u2019t know if you know much about the IRA then. A big group of children were put on boats and shipped to England. I ended up in an orphanage, if you like, in the north of England.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How old were you when you were put into an orphanage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I would\u2019ve been two when I first went in. I think I was seven when I came to England. I went to a big children\u2019s home in Yorkshire. My dad had moved to England by then with this woman. We were sort of in and out of care\u2014I would be in foster parents for awhile; then I\u2019d come back and stay with them\/back with my dad and this woman for awhile; then I\u2019d be back in care. That went on for a number of years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why would you be removed from your home?\u2014because a social worker was recognizing you were in danger in your home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, yes; we weren\u2019t told. We would just be removed in the early hours of the morning\/whatever. People would come in\/strangers, and just take us, and we would be taken away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But how did anyone even know what was happening to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I\u2019m assuming school reports\/things like that. It would be pretty apparent; we were pretty malnourished.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As we were reading the book, when you went to be with your dad and your stepmom, it was <em>really<\/em> horrific; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> She was a very brutally cruel woman. Yes, we\u2019d be starved and beaten. You understand my dad was a young man in his 20s. He had two kids; he liked to drink. He worked; he was a [unintelligible]; he still is. He liked to drink; he was out a lot. She, obviously, had a lot of anger towards him for dumping what she would\u2019ve viewed as \u201chis kids\u201d on her to look after. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe wasn\u2019t the smartest person, I came to realize. She used to beat me just for reading. If I was caught with a book, I was tortured. It wasn\u2019t until I was older\/much older that I discovered, \u201cAw, she couldn\u2019t even read very well.\u201d She had probably a lot of insecurities that were inflicted on me and my sister. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Obviously, you\u2019re building up\u2014even as a young boy, then a young man\u2014this bitterness. It becomes a story that people learn about when you write\u2014what was it?\u2014a blog, after her death: \u201cDing dong, the wicked witch is dead.\u201d Talk about that; because that\u2019s sort of, in some ways, why we\u2019re sitting here today, because then the world found out your story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; you have to understand that there\u2019s a previous book to this book called <em>Is There Anybody Out There?<\/em> Don\u2019t know if you realize that\u2014which I wrote about\/it must be about 15 years old now\u2014which is the first book to <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em>. It\u2019s quite well-known, in that sense; but the kernel of the idea\u2014I didn\u2019t intend to write a book on child abuse\u2014I was in the house one night, and a friend texted me and said, \u201cDo you know she has died?\u201d\u2014this woman. I said, \u201cNo.\u201d Then, obviously, went online and googled it; and there she was\u2014she had died very young. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI couldn\u2019t sleep. I hadn\u2019t thought about it for a long time. I just sort of wrote\u2014I like to write because it helps me to relax, so I wrote this blog. Then, the thing just went mental; I think about a million hits or something in the first 24 hours. I was getting hundreds of communications from around the world, from pastors and other people who had been abused, and said it resonated with them. Quite a few people suggested, \u201cWould you write a book?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t feel like I want to do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t remember why\/how it came about; but then I thought, \u201cYou know, maybe I ought to write a book; but I want to write a book that\u2019s evangelistic\/that\u2019s honest. That it\u2019s alright to say, \u2018Hang on a minute. If God\u2019s out there, why is He allowing this to happen to us?\u2019\u201d There\u2019s not very many honest books out there. I didn\u2019t want to make it an intellectual apologetics book. I wanted to make it a sort of raw, visceral \u201cThis is the path I walked,\u201d to try and get some answers. Even then, those answers aren\u2019t always satisfactory; are they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, Mez, walk us back through some of that. You were with this stepmom for how many years?\u2014and the abuse was constant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Between the ages of two to thirteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Those are significant years too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, yes. And I\u2019m talking <em>terrorized<\/em>; yes, it was pretty bad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If abuse starts at the age of two, you\u2019re probably not even able to process, at any level, what\u2019s happening to you. It becomes the expectation that this is what life is like, to be beaten like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; I didn\u2019t process what happened to me until after she left and my dad remarried. I was 13 years old and in high school. I just assumed, this is what happened to people. No one ever talked about it, and so I never talked about it. It\u2019s only as I grew and matured and I thought, \u201cHang on a minute. This wasn\u2019t right what happened to me.\u201d Then I began to get very angry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think I was in my 20s. I had grown up with sexual abuse; and in my 20s was the first time I think I realized, \u201cOh, I was sexually abused.\u201d It was life; it was normal; I didn\u2019t know anything different. I didn\u2019t know other people didn\u2019t experience that. Then you go through a whole processing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that time, walk us through\u2014look at your life\u2014God has redeemed and done so much. What was your belief about God in those years, growing up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t grow up in a religious family, obviously. I sort of believed in God as a kid. There wasn\u2019t a rational belief system; I just thought there must be something out there. I think I mentioned in the book\u2014I tried praying, as a kid, and saying, \u201cLord, please help me, and do this and that.\u201d But nothing was happening; so I thought, \u201cThis is nothing; I\u2019m wasting my time.\u201d As I got older, and sometimes I\u2019d hear people talk about God, and I\u2019d be very, very like, \u201cI\u2019m not having it. God doesn\u2019t exist. If He did exist, He\u2019s one sick individual.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs soon as I hit my sort of late teens\u2014sort of 16\/17\u2014started getting heavily involved in drugs, and crime, and stuff; then, I had lots of anger and frustration. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In those years, when you were being abused by your stepmother, was your father aware this was happening to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> We had this discussion. He says he wasn\u2019t, and I largely believe him; but at the same time, he must have had some inkling what was going on. To be fair to him, the only time he really saw her beating me, she was beating me with a big brass iron over the head. That\u2019s the time he kicked her out, and she never came back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I look back\/I reflect back on that\u2014again, I don\u2019t want to justify things for my dad; I love my dad; he was a young guy, in his 20s\u2014no way could he be responsible for two children. In fact, she was, probably to him, just a glorified babysitter. He was always out with his pals, watching the football, drinking; always down at the betting shop. Ironically, his gambling caused me the most pain as a child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain that. What do you mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> It was the same every Friday. He would get paid, and he would go straight to the bookies\/the betting shops. He\u2019d do his whole wages on the horses. If it was a bad Friday\u2014and nine times out of ten, it was a bad Friday\u2014all his wages were gone; and he would roll in, drunk. I would get absolutely tortured for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes she would send me out on a Friday\u2014I\u2019m talking five, six, seven years old\u2014barefoot, down the road, to the bookies. I had to go in, try to get him to come out. If I didn\u2019t get him to come out, I got beaten. I don\u2019t think he quite realizes that; we have talked since. He\u2019s not read this book; he\u2019s read the first one. I don\u2019t think he quite realized how some of that behavior\/that his behavior, actually, affected me and my sister detrimentally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was going to ask about your sister. Was she going through all the same kind of abuse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, yes; worse for her\u2014she was disabled\u2014she had a bone missing in her arm and leg. So yes; she took it. She was absolutely <em>hammered<\/em>. She was a year older than me. Often, we\u2019d be separated and sent into different foster care\u2014stuff like that. It was just chaos. You wonder how children survive it. I wonder now\u2014like, \u201cWe just got on with it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you survive it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I have <em>no<\/em> idea. I\u2019d love to give you the cheesy\/the \u201cgrace of God\u201d answer\u2014and I\u2019m sure that\u2019s correct\u2014but I survived it by reading books. I was a little book smuggler. [Laughter] I could read, apparently, from the age of three, from a book. I can\u2019t remember a time when I\u2019ve not read. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to be careful, because I would be beaten. Sometimes, she would strip me naked and make me stand outside in the cold if she caught me with a book. I had various hiding places out in the garden and in walls down the road. I liked to read, and it was sort of like my escape from reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was being beaten something that was happening to you daily\/weekly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; daily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Daily.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Several times; oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And was there ever a time, as seven-year-old boy, that you picked up a stick and threatened her?\u2014tried to fight back at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> No, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I was too small\/I was a small little fella. The first time I remember fighting back in that sense, I think I was about 12 years old. She was kicking me in the face for some reason; I can\u2019t remember what it was. I remember I just sat up and I just said, \u201cLook, I\u2019ve had enough of this. You\u2019re not my mother; get away from me.\u201d That stopped her in her tracks for half a day, anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did see her\u2014she left when I was about 14, I think. My dad married when I was about 14 or 15\u2014remarried\u2014but anyway, she left. I was halfway through grammar school, which I got tortured for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Meaning you were tortured because\u2014explain what grammar school is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Grammar school\u2014there was a dual system in the UK at the time; there still is to some degree\u2014there\u2019s a national exam that children, age 11, would take called the Eleven-plus Exam. That would establish whether you went to a comprehensive school, just like a normal comprehensive high school; or you went to what was called a grammar school that\u2019s for children who fall into this top two percent intelligent pupils in the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI won a place into grammar school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which was <em>amazing<\/em> and exciting for you, I\u2019m thinking. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Oh, I was <em>buzzing<\/em>; but she was absolutely incandescent about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She\u2019s upset because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re smart!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know; yes. She always told me: \u201cYou\u2019re thick,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re stupid,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a moron,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a loser,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll never be good at anything. You\u2019re just like your dad.\u201d All that was drilled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when I came home with that piece of paper, that was a <em>glorious<\/em> moment\u2014let me tell you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Explain what happened. You brought home the paper that was going to tell whether you\u2019re going to grammar school or whether you\u2019re going to comprehensive school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; I took it, and I passed with actually a lot of distinction\u2014could\u2019ve picked any school I wanted to go to, because of my marks. She kicked me up and down the stairs that day. But I loved it\u2014\u201cBring it on,\u201d\u2014it was brilliant. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you mean?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> She never called me \u201cstupid\u201d again, let me tell you that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you say you, \u201cloved it; bring it on,\u201d what do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I took it; it was a sweet beating. We used to call them \u201csweet beatings,\u201d\u2014me and my sister. There\u2019s beatings\u2014and I know it sounds a bit mad\u2014but when it\u2019s been happening for a decade, it\u2019s like breathing. Some were sweet\u2014that was a particularly sweet one\u2014she could\u2019ve beat me all day long, it wouldn\u2019t have mattered; it wouldn\u2019t have taken the joy out of me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So did you just lay there and take it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes, I took it; oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you curl up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I curled, yes. The rule is: \u201cProtect your kidneys at all costs,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the painful one\u2014so try and get your back to the wall if you can. It took me a couple of years to learn that one. As long as I didn\u2019t get a kick to the kidneys\u2014I could take a kick to the face and the head\u2014you just protect your head; all you get, really, is bruised arms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mez, you said that, early, you just assumed that this was normal\u2014that all kids were getting this kind of behavior; this is what life\u2019s all about. When did it dawn on you, \u201cThis is not how it\u2019s supposed to be\u201d? Was it while it was still going on?\u2014or after you were older?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> I was a bit older. What happened was\u2014I went to this grammar school. I wasn\u2019t really accepted there; I came from a really poor housing estate. These were kids who came from private school education, so I stood out a little bit; got into a bit of trouble there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy grades were great; my grades were A\u2019s. A teacher one day was trying to humiliate me in front of the class about where I came from. I didn\u2019t have the right uniform\/clothes on; because I wasn\u2019t given clothes. We\u2019d get money from social services to buy me clothes, but they weren\u2019t exactly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Seville Row?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; so I looked like a homeless kid. I got a lot of stick for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne teacher was particularly trying to humiliate me. I picked up a chair and smacked him around the head with it. I think I might have been around 13 or 14. Then, I was taken to the headmaster\u2019s office; and there was a big thing about, \u201cYou can\u2019t behave like this,\u201d\u2014and da, da, da, da. I was like, \u201cEverybody back right up. I can\u2019t lose my temper\u2014and here\u2019s someone\u2014that\u2019s fine\u2014but I\u2019ve been taking this now for 11 years, and not one of you people have helped me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter that, that was a line\u2014that I\u2019m like, \u201cI am now going to be uncooperative to anybody in authority.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You told them, basically, \u201cThis has been my life growing up.\u201d Was there any response or reaction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Nothing; it\u2019s like, \u201cYour pain isn\u2019t acceptable; we don\u2019t care,\u201d\u2014da, da, da, da. \u201cFine.\u201d After that, then, I drew a line in the sand and thought, \u201cRight; well, I\u2019m not having this.\u201d And I got sucked into drugs and stuff very early then. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Of course, you would grow up with incredible anger, unresolved things\u2014I\u2019m thinking, self-hatred\u2014all kinds of things that took you on a path of drugs; then you end up in prison.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mez:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s correct; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening to the first part of a conversation we had recently with Mez McConnell. You know, you hear Mez\u2019s story, which he has shared in a book called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em>. You think, \u201cHow does God take someone with this background, and bring life back into him, and then use him for the kingdom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s one of those, if you look at his story\/read it on paper, you say, \u201cThere\u2019s no way this young man even <em>survives<\/em>.\u201d When I hear Mez talk and read his book, I\u2019m like, \u201cThis is the \u2018but God\u2019 in Scripture.\u201d This is the darkness\/this is the desperation; but God, through His grace\/through His mercy, has saved us. Apart from God, there is no\u2014but with God, there is a miracle! With God, all things are possible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was going to say\u2014it\u2019s a <em>miraculous<\/em> story that\u2019s really inspiring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and we\u2019ve just heard the first part of it. In fact, Mez tells the story in a book he\u2019s written called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs: Finding Faith in God Through Childhood Abuse<\/em>. We\u2019ve got that book available for our listeners. If you\u2019d like a copy, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, the book is called <em>The Creaking on the Stairs<\/em> by Mez McConnell. Find it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329 to order your copy\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason we have these kinds of conversations is because there are so many families with so many challenges\u2014so many people, who are trying to start a family today\/raise their own kids, and their background is horrific, like Mez\u2019s\u2014they\u2019ve experienced the same kind of abuse or dysfunction\u2014the hurt\/the trauma that sometimes happens in a family setting. It\u2019s hard to know how to chart a new course when your own experience is as horrific as Mez\u2019s was. At FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we are <em>convinced<\/em> that God is able to bring beauty from ashes\u2014that He\u2019s able to equip, and strengthen, and empower people to put a stake in the ground and to chart a new legacy. Dave, you\u2019ve talked about that many times; that\u2019s a part of <em>your<\/em> story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to be here for <em>you<\/em>, regularly, with practical biblical help and hope as you seek to effectively develop a godly marriage and family\u2014the resources that are available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; our audio library that can be accessed for free anytime, with programs you can listen to on a wide variety of marriage and family subjects\u2014we\u2019re here to help equip <em>you<\/em> in the most important relationships we have in life: your relationship with God, with your spouse, with your kids, with your extended family. That\u2019s what <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d today to the folks who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for all of us, those of you who are regular donors to this ministry, either monthly Legacy Partners or those of you who, from time to time, will pitch in to make this program possible. You\u2019re helping to change tens of thousands of legacies through your investment in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We\u2019re grateful for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a longtime listener, you\u2019ve never made a donation, we\u2019d love to have you join us today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate online, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to donate. On behalf of those who will benefit from your investment in them, thank you for making that investment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue to hear more from Mez McConnell about his experience and find out how he wound up in Bible school preparing to be a church planter. That comes up tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306454"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306454"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306454"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306454"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}