{"id":306399,"date":"2020-09-10T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2020-09-10T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/filtering-your-speech\/"},"modified":"2020-09-10T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2020-09-10T11:00:06","slug":"filtering-your-speech","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/filtering-your-speech\/","title":{"rendered":"Filtering Your Speech"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Scott Sauls continues the discussion on the value of gentle answers in human interactions, especially in the midst of a cultural environment dominated by &#8220;us against them&#8221; thinking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-09-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:11","filesize":"23.07M","filesize_raw":"24186578","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2821],"tags":[6944],"podcast_series":[8390],"cwp_profile":[3442],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306399","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-reaching-out","tag-a-gentle-answer","podcast_series-a-gentle-answer","cwp_profile-scott-sauls","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306399\/filtering-your-speech","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306399\/filtering-your-speech","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XvtiWuj0N2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/filtering-your-speech\/\">Filtering Your Speech<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/filtering-your-speech\/embed\/#?secret=XvtiWuj0N2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Filtering Your Speech&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XvtiWuj0N2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-09-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-09-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You may have had the experience of having conversations with members of your family, or your extended family, and you don\u2019t see eye to eye on what\u2019s going on in our world. Scott Sauls says Jesus had a group of disciples, who didn\u2019t have compatible worldviews when it came to society and to government. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> This disciple\u2019s group is a group of people that included Matthew, the tax collector\/the big government guy; and Simon the Zealot, the small or no government guy\u2014so you\u2019ve got a Libertarian and Marxist\u2014you know? Jesus said to that group, that included those two, \u201cBy this, the world is going to know that you belong to Me, that you get a long in ways that nobody can out there\/that you love one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. So what are we supposed to do, when we have friends, family members, loved ones, and we don\u2019t see eye to eye on things that are pretty important? How do we get along with each other? How do we communicate? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Scott Sauls. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Have you ever posted anything on social media, where you\u2019ve gone, \u201cOh, I probably shouldn\u2019t have posted that\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but too late to pull it back now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; very recently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Has that happened recently? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, last week, I posted this <em>simple<\/em> little comment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which this is together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014about a controversial topic in the world. I\u2019m not going to get into it\u2014just a simple little thing\u2014didn\u2019t take a stand\u2014just \u201cLet\u2019s put this out there. I think I need to say something\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t write a blog; it wasn\u2019t even a paragraph\u2014a couple of words. <em>First<\/em> response, less than a minute, a woman from my church: \u201cWell, guess I\u2019ll have to find a new church.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was her response. I\u2019m like, \u201cOh my goodness! She has no idea what I even think about this topic; I didn\u2019t say <em>anything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Actually, <em>I<\/em> posted it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; that\u2019s right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave had to recover from it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad she admitted that; I was trying to be nice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I posted it; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But social media is one of those environments, where the first thing that pops into our mind\u2014which is most often a reflexive, impulsive, not-well-thought-through\u2014response to our environment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, that would be me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> In fact, after that, Bob, my\u2014two of my three sons said, \u201cDad, from now on, text us first before you put anything out there.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s pretty wise \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did see somebody on social media say, \u201cI have friends who I run all my tweets by or all my Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts by before I post them, and it has saved me a lot of pain and a lot of embarrassment from things that I just thought, \u2018This is what I <em>feel<\/em> like saying, but I probably shouldn\u2019t say it in this moment.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about how important our communication is because it reflects, not only what is in our heart, but it affects our relationships and how we communicate love to one another. We\u2019ve got our friend Scott Sauls, who is joining us again for this conversation. Scott, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Good to be with you all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Scott is teaching pastor at Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee. He is an author; he is a blogger; he is one of those guys that we look to for wisdom in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I look to him, a lot, for wisdom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s a biblical thinker too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He just looks wise; doesn\u2019t he? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He really does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It\u2019s the bald head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s the bald head; see, I finally got it out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did think, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be interesting\u2014if we\u2019re talking about: \u2018Should we post this?\u2019 and \u201cShould we text this to somebody first?\u2019\u2014what if we did that in our homes?\u2014\u2018Hey, should I say this to Mom?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve done that. I\u2019ve had friends\u2014my sister and I used to have this little accountability that she would call me and say, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m going to say to my husband tonight.\u201d I would be like, \u201cNO! Whatever you do, do not say it!\u201d We would practice. It\u2019s kind of like what we talked about earlier when Scott said, \u201cYou look in the mirror and have that conversation in the mirror first.\u201d I think that\u2019s really a wise thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014having communication accountability buddies,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who you can go to beforehand; so they don\u2019t have to clean up the mess, but they can help you prevent the mess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tScott has just written a book called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. 2020 feels like it\u2019s been \u201cus against them\u201d on steroids. We\u2019ve just had conflict after conflict, culturally at least; and those cultural conflicts filter their way into family relationships and into church relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re a pastor, but you\u2019re also a husband and a dad. Are you a naturally gentle-answering person? Is it part of your personality to return a gentle answer? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It really depends on the context. I think, in most relationships and interactions, that\u2019s probably part of the picture; yes. I think that, when I get into discussions\u2014especially disagreements with people I really care about and I know they really care about me\u2014I can let my guard down more. It can get more heated, and I\u2019ll say more apologies\u2014I\u2019ll put it that way\u2014I say more apologies to people that I know better and am living life closer to than I do with strangers or people that are just acquaintances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have found that where I stumble in this area is in areas where I am most passionate or in areas where I am most fearful; because if I\u2019m really fired up about something, or if I\u2019m really anxious or afraid about something, that\u2019s when I will be less prudent with my speech. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; I think that is really wise to recognize the association between passion and fear because, a lot of times, the things we get most passionate and heated up about\u2014it might come across as assertiveness\/maybe as overconfidence\u2014when in fact, on the inside, we\u2019re afraid that something that matters to us is being threatened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, in a family discussion, it could go a number of different directions; but let\u2019s just say your spouse is pushing back on you. Maybe, our greatest fear is being misunderstood; maybe, our greatest fear is the likely silence that\u2019s going to probably follow this conversation; maybe, our greatest fear is not being on the same page; maybe, our greatest fear is not being perceived as being right or our not winning. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all kinds of different fears. Some of them can be born out of pride; some of them can be born out of a very precious place; you know? We\u2019ve got to kind of analyze: \u201cOkay; what am I afraid of?\u201d and \u201cWhat do I stand to lose if my fears are realized?\u201d\u2014is that thing important, or is that thing really just a product of an inflated ego on my part?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great question to ask of even: \u201cWhy am I afraid?\u201d I don\u2019t think it always starts with <em>fear<\/em> that we know; because I think many times, at least in our marriage, it starts with <em>anger<\/em>. If anger is a secondary emotion, then, the first\/primary emotion would be fear. I would respond to Dave in anger; and in a family situation, we\u2019d be in a fight, and I would be <em>angry<\/em>. He wouldn\u2019t say that I am fearful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Nope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I was <em>fearful<\/em> that I wouldn\u2019t be seen, which stems from\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Do you have any video footage of this? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We do actually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We have a few of those caught on video. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one, as a parent, that I think we\u2019ve all probably experienced. Our child\u2014especially a teenager or older\u2014starting to say things or act in ways that seems like they are walking away from the faith that we\u2019ve tried to ground them in their whole life. Often, a parent will respond angrily, because we\u2019re fearful. It\u2019s not just a gentle answer; it\u2019s like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?!\u201d How do I respond?\u2014because the posture of a parent in that moment is <em>critical<\/em> to <em>draw<\/em> them into a conversation; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So teach us; model for us. What would it be?\u2014a tone?\u2014would it be words? How do we\/how do we respond, as a dad or a husband, in that situation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really smart of parents, like you just did, to recognize the difference between a teenager, and a toddler, or an eight-year-old; because the younger they are the more directive parents need to be; because they are a hazard to themselves; right? They can really get hurt if we\u2019re not directive. Those are the years, too, where they are a lot more receptive just developmentally to: \u201cThis is what we believe,\u201d \u201cThis is <em>why<\/em> we believe it,\u201d \u201cThis is who we are as a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they start to develop into those years, where they start to have opinions and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; what the most threatening thing to a parent is their child\u2019s first opinion. [Laughter] And questions and doubts\u2014doubts about things that are just dear; that are <em>everything<\/em> to us, as parents, especially that have to do with faith. What can backfire with teenagers is when we try to parent, you know, a 17-year-old as if they were still 8, where we are offering directive guidance rather than persuasive guidance, which oftentimes, involves more listening than speaking to get to the bottom of what is behind their questions,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> \u2014and where they are coming from, and what\u2019s in their heart\/what\u2019s informing their questions and their doubts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are old enough to have adult children, who are forming their own opinions and thinking things through differently than, maybe, you\u2019ve thought them through. Here you are, a pastor who is <em>known<\/em> for what you think, and you\u2019re supposed to be influencing other people to think more biblically. When your own kids start to post on social media things that don\u2019t reflect well on you, how do you handle that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> You know, I am, I think in a lot of ways, one of those dads who hit the jackpot. I don\u2019t think I can remember a single time where either one of my kids has embarrassed me publicly. They\u2019ve got plenty of material; if they wanted to do that, they\u2019ve got plenty of material. I\u2019m serious; like I respect my daughters for that a lot. One of them is in her early-20s; the other is 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven as a real-time example happened recently, where our oldest daughter wanted to put her name on something\u2014like a public document that several people are signing\u2014and the question was: \u201cIs this going to put <em>you<\/em> in a bad place, Dad, because what I want to sign?\u201d She\u2019s a real advocate for certain vulnerable populations; and oftentimes, that kind of advocacy can be wrongly interpreted as being partisan in one direction or another; she\u2019s not. She\u2019s just actually a biblical person, wanting to defend and advocate for people, who are not getting a fair defense and advocacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a real justice person; she\u2019s like, \u201cIs this going to get you shot at by certain people?\u201d\u2014because I pastor a church; and my audience, you know, from writing and speaking is pretty mixed, politically. As you all know, if you\u2019ve got a mixed political audience, you will get shot at from the polar extremes on both ends. I said to her, \u201cThis has nothing to do with me. You\u2019re your own person; God\u2019s at work in you in a unique way. You\u2019ve got a unique voice. You do what your conscience leads you to do, and I can handle it. My question is, \u2018Can <em>you<\/em> handle it if people criticize <em>me<\/em> for something you do and start to use what you signed against me?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I told her, \u201cI can handle it, and you should follow your conscience\u201d; but part of that is the climate that she\u2019s created of being somebody, who is very careful not to embarrass her dad publically when she has a lot of material; you know? I mean, she\u2019s becoming more and more of a peer and less and less like a child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> \u2014to us, which is a beautiful thing to watch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, I think we have to recognize we raised our kids to be adults, not just to parrot everything they heard from us, but to think on their own. When they do that, it\u2019s going to make us uncomfortable; but this is really what we want. We want them to think right. We\u2019d like them to think everything we think, but that\u2019s not realistic; we didn\u2019t think everything our parents thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I love the conversation. For me, as our kids got older, I loved discovering who they were, what they thought, what they believed. I didn\u2019t always believe and agree with their stance on certain positions. One of our sons got married, and his wife was sitting in on these conversations. She started getting up, pacing around the house. We would dialogue about controversial subjects. It was one of my favorite things to do, because it was out of love. It was just dialoguing: hearing his heart\/hearing my heart. It wouldn\u2019t get hot, but it would get pretty intense and passionate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, we\u2019d be done; and we both really cared about each other and went, \u201cWow; that was a great conversation.\u201d Well, she finally said, \u201cI can\u2019t do this anymore!\u201d She hadn\u2019t said anything. I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d She goes, \u201cThis is so, like\u2014I\u2019m just so bothered by the whole thing.\u201d Our son turned and said, \u201cIt\u2019s\u2014we do this all the time\u201d; but she had never had those conversations\/where she wouldn\u2019t even talk to her parents about her views, because they\u2019d be controversial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about that, Scott, in the context of a gentle answer; because different personalities and different temperaments are going to express their gentle answers differently. We can now be the gentleness police, coming along and saying, \u201cYou weren\u2019t gentle enough in how you said that\u201d; and the context may have been perfectly appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; so if we\u2019re all created in the image of God, and Christ is God\u2014the four of us are agreed on both of those things\u2014Christ has three, what theologians call, offices: He\u2019s prophet, He\u2019s priest, and He\u2019s king. When we try to act like the king in any contested conversation, it\u2019s not going to go well. [Laughter] When you have two people trying to act like the king, it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> going to be a train wreck. Our two remaining alternatives are to let Jesus alone be the king; and we need to ask ourselves: \u201cIs this moment a prophet moment, or is it a priest moment?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe prophet is the one who speaks truth. The priest is the one who communicates tenderness, gentleness, and humble in heart\u2014that part of Christ\/that aspect of Christ. Sometimes, it\u2019s combined. We\u2019ve got to ask, \u201cOkay; do I major in prophet and minor in priest in this situation?\u201d or \u201cDo I major in priest and minor in prophet?\u201d It just depends on what the situation is; but the two have to go together because, as soon as you separate prophet from priest\u2014if we\u2019re all prophet and no priest, we become kind of bully-ish\u2014again, we\u2019re not going to persuade anybody except people in our own echo chamber, and how boring is that? If we\u2019re all priests, then important truths might be taken off the table that need to be part of the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think you are right in there to help us figure out, in our conversations with one another, how we can be prophetically gentle. I always come back to John 1:14. Jesus reveals the Father, full of grace and truth\/full of prophet and priest. We\u2019ve got to figure out: \u201cIf we naturally tend to be truth people, how can we amp up the grace?\u201d \u201cIf we naturally tend to be grace people, how can we amp up the truth so that we can be full of both?\u2014not try to minimize one for the sake of the other\u2014we want to speak the truth in love\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> We do. Posture is body language\/tone is so important. I think about the woman caught in adultery. Jesus, as Jesus does, gave us the perfect example about how to handle, let\u2019s say, a situation where you\u2019ve got sexual immorality; right? Woman was caught in the act of adultery. First, how curious that there was no man who was brought out in public, caught in the act of adultery, even though it takes two to get caught. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> So there is an injustice that\u2019s already revealed by the absence of a man being dragged into the public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of these sort of condemning religious men, who wanted to execute this woman, have <em>left<\/em> because Jesus said, \u201cHey, whoever has no sin, you be the first to cast a stone at her.\u201d Of course, they all left. Jesus is the only man remaining, who is also the only man in that conversation, or any conversation, who was qualified to cast a stone; and He chose not to. Instead, He said, \u201cI do not condemn you. Now, go leave your life of sin.\u201d Priest: \u201cI do not condemn you\u201d; prophet: \u201cLeave your life of sin.\u201d The order is incredibly important of those two sentences. If you reverse that order and say, \u201cLeave your life of sin,\u201d\u2014and \u201cI don\u2019t condemn you,\u201d will be on the other side of that\u2014you have transitioned <em>away<\/em> from Christianity into moralism; and it\u2019s not Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> Christian to lead with: \u201cGet your act together; then we\u2019ll have the acceptance conversation.\u201d It\u2019s precisely the opposite, where Christ <em>loves<\/em> people <em>before<\/em> they change. He creates <em>belonging<\/em> for them before they believe and before they obey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor some, He creates belonging for them, knowing that they <em>never<\/em> will obey. Think about the ten lepers that He healed. Only one of them came back and said, \u201cThank You.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cWhere are the other nine?\u201d He knew what the answer to that was; that question was more for the one who came back than it was of His curiosity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t do that well, naturally; but supernaturally, we have the resources to be able to. Again, part of that gets back to the logs-and-specks conversation. We have all the resources that free us to be humble and to address how we contribute. Jesus has given us every resource: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re forgiven,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re loved,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere is nothing that you know about the worst part of yourself that I didn\u2019t know before you and that I don\u2019t know better than you. You are exposed, but you are not rejected. You\u2019re known, and you\u2019re loved; so get over yourself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStop feeling like you have to be right about everything and realize that whomever it is that you\u2019re trying to confront, persuade, swing over to your side\u2014realize that for every criticism you offer them\u2014their heart needs ten praises, just like yours does\/just like yours does. And just like you, every dysfunction or misbehavior that you see in this other person, or this other group, just never forget this closing line from the movie, <em>Wonder<\/em>, or the book, <em>Wonder<\/em>: \u201cEvery person you meet is fighting a hard-hitting battle.\u201d There is always a battle beneath our expressions of sin, and dysfunction, and offense. Empathy, compassion\u2014these are all Christ-like things\u2014but it does take a supernatural intrusion into our hearts for us to become those kinds of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, there is a verse that a lot of preachers never preach. I\u2019ve done it only a few times, and it\u2019s interesting why. I\u2019m sort of being factious; but Matthew 5, where Jesus says, \u201cTherefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother\/sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them and then bring and offer your gift.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI joke because pastors\u2014they\u2019d rather have the gift than people leave and go reconcile their relationships\u2014but it does highlight what your book is all about. Relationships and reconciliation are more important to the heart of God; this is <em>critical<\/em> stuff we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s almost all the Apostle Paul wrote about when it came to human relationships. He\u2019s always trying to bring Jews and Gentiles together. The church is supposed to be the place where people, who cannot even get along with each other out in the world, become friends and then become as family to each other. That\u2019s the sign that we belong to Christ, according to Christ Himself: \u201cLord, I pray that they will be one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis disciples group is a group of people that included Matthew, the tax collector\/the big government guy; and Simon the Zealot, the small or no government guy\u2014so you\u2019ve got a Libertarian and a Marxist\u2014you know? Isn\u2019t it striking that there is no record of a single political debate between those two in the gospel? You would think, because all of the Gospels talk about how the disciples bickered with one another\u2014not one on record. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree years together\u2014they lived together; they died together. Matthew is the one and only Gospel writer who acknowledged the fact that Matthew was a tax collector and Simon was a Zealot. Jesus said to that group, that included those two, \u201cBy this, the world is going to know that you belong to Me, that you get along in ways that nobody can out there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I also think, I mean, if you apply this to the family\u2014just think, \u201cIf I am going to respond with a gentle answer, it could be very easy for me\u2014as a husband, as a dad, as a sibling\u2014to sit and wait: \u2018She\u2019s going to come to me and ask for forgiveness\/say she\u2019s sorry,\u2019 \u2014when my son or daughter\u2014no; I should <em>go<\/em> and say, \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019 and with a gentle answer, invite a conversation,\u201d\u2014that is on me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which reminds me of Luke 6:27: \u201cBut I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse you.\u201d Wow; if we would live that out, our homes would look different; and our country would look different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Scott, what you are giving us with your book, <em>A Gentle Answer<\/em>, is a coaching manual. It\u2019s a way to think differently about our communication\/think biblically about our communication, and represent Jesus well in conversations with friends, family members, coworkers. There may be no more important time for us to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send to our listeners a copy of Scott\u2019s book, which again, is called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. If you can help support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with a donation this week, Scott\u2019s book is our gift to you to say, \u201cThank you for partnering with us in helping to provide practical biblical help and hope for husbands and wives\/moms and dads all around the world.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is reaching hundreds of thousands of people every day, on radio to our podcasts, using Amazon<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Alexa\u2014all the different channels that are available to us. We\u2019re seeking to effectively develop godly marriages and families, because we believe godly marriages and families can change the world one home at a time. Again, if you can help advance the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love to send you Scott\u2019s book as a thank-you gift for your donation. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Scott\u2019s book, again, is called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. Ask for your copy of the book when you make a donation, either online or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about anger; because honestly, some of us are feeling angry\/frustrated\u2014angry is the right word. We\u2019re feeling angry when we see things going on in our world, and we want to think rightly about that and act rightly about that. Scott\u2019s going to be here to coach us on that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:11"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.07M"],"filesize_raw":["24186578"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306399.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306399.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Sauls continues the discussion on the value of gentle answers in human interactions, especially in the midst of a cultural environment dominated by \"us against them\" thinking.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-09-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You may have had the experience of having conversations with members of your family, or your extended family, and you don\u2019t see eye to eye on what\u2019s going on in our world. Scott Sauls says Jesus had a group of disciples, who didn\u2019t have compatible worldviews when it came to society and to government. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> This disciple\u2019s group is a group of people that included Matthew, the tax collector\/the big government guy; and Simon the Zealot, the small or no government guy\u2014so you\u2019ve got a Libertarian and Marxist\u2014you know? Jesus said to that group, that included those two, \u201cBy this, the world is going to know that you belong to Me, that you get a long in ways that nobody can out there\/that you love one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. So what are we supposed to do, when we have friends, family members, loved ones, and we don\u2019t see eye to eye on things that are pretty important? How do we get along with each other? How do we communicate? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Scott Sauls. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Have you ever posted anything on social media, where you\u2019ve gone, \u201cOh, I probably shouldn\u2019t have posted that\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014but too late to pull it back now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; very recently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Has that happened recently? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, last week, I posted this <em>simple<\/em> little comment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which this is together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014about a controversial topic in the world. I\u2019m not going to get into it\u2014just a simple little thing\u2014didn\u2019t take a stand\u2014just \u201cLet\u2019s put this out there. I think I need to say something\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t write a blog; it wasn\u2019t even a paragraph\u2014a couple of words. <em>First<\/em> response, less than a minute, a woman from my church: \u201cWell, guess I\u2019ll have to find a new church.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was her response. I\u2019m like, \u201cOh my goodness! She has no idea what I even think about this topic; I didn\u2019t say <em>anything<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Actually, <em>I<\/em> posted it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; that\u2019s right. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Dave had to recover from it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m glad she admitted that; I was trying to be nice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I posted it; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But social media is one of those environments, where the first thing that pops into our mind\u2014which is most often a reflexive, impulsive, not-well-thought-through\u2014response to our environment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, that would be me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> In fact, after that, Bob, my\u2014two of my three sons said, \u201cDad, from now on, text us first before you put anything out there.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s pretty wise \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I did see somebody on social media say, \u201cI have friends who I run all my tweets by or all my Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts by before I post them, and it has saved me a lot of pain and a lot of embarrassment from things that I just thought, \u2018This is what I <em>feel<\/em> like saying, but I probably shouldn\u2019t say it in this moment.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about how important our communication is because it reflects, not only what is in our heart, but it affects our relationships and how we communicate love to one another. We\u2019ve got our friend Scott Sauls, who is joining us again for this conversation. Scott, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Good to be with you all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Scott is teaching pastor at Christ Presbyterian Church in Nashville, Tennessee. He is an author; he is a blogger; he is one of those guys that we look to for wisdom in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I look to him, a lot, for wisdom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s a biblical thinker too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He just looks wise; doesn\u2019t he? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He really does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It\u2019s the bald head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s the bald head; see, I finally got it out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did think, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it be interesting\u2014if we\u2019re talking about: \u2018Should we post this?\u2019 and \u201cShould we text this to somebody first?\u2019\u2014what if we did that in our homes?\u2014\u2018Hey, should I say this to Mom?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve done that. I\u2019ve had friends\u2014my sister and I used to have this little accountability that she would call me and say, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m going to say to my husband tonight.\u201d I would be like, \u201cNO! Whatever you do, do not say it!\u201d We would practice. It\u2019s kind of like what we talked about earlier when Scott said, \u201cYou look in the mirror and have that conversation in the mirror first.\u201d I think that\u2019s really a wise thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014having communication accountability buddies,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who you can go to beforehand; so they don\u2019t have to clean up the mess, but they can help you prevent the mess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tScott has just written a book called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. 2020 feels like it\u2019s been \u201cus against them\u201d on steroids. We\u2019ve just had conflict after conflict, culturally at least; and those cultural conflicts filter their way into family relationships and into church relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re a pastor, but you\u2019re also a husband and a dad. Are you a naturally gentle-answering person? Is it part of your personality to return a gentle answer? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It really depends on the context. I think, in most relationships and interactions, that\u2019s probably part of the picture; yes. I think that, when I get into discussions\u2014especially disagreements with people I really care about and I know they really care about me\u2014I can let my guard down more. It can get more heated, and I\u2019ll say more apologies\u2014I\u2019ll put it that way\u2014I say more apologies to people that I know better and am living life closer to than I do with strangers or people that are just acquaintances. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I have found that where I stumble in this area is in areas where I am most passionate or in areas where I am most fearful; because if I\u2019m really fired up about something, or if I\u2019m really anxious or afraid about something, that\u2019s when I will be less prudent with my speech. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; I think that is really wise to recognize the association between passion and fear because, a lot of times, the things we get most passionate and heated up about\u2014it might come across as assertiveness\/maybe as overconfidence\u2014when in fact, on the inside, we\u2019re afraid that something that matters to us is being threatened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, in a family discussion, it could go a number of different directions; but let\u2019s just say your spouse is pushing back on you. Maybe, our greatest fear is being misunderstood; maybe, our greatest fear is the likely silence that\u2019s going to probably follow this conversation; maybe, our greatest fear is not being on the same page; maybe, our greatest fear is not being perceived as being right or our not winning. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have all kinds of different fears. Some of them can be born out of pride; some of them can be born out of a very precious place; you know? We\u2019ve got to kind of analyze: \u201cOkay; what am I afraid of?\u201d and \u201cWhat do I stand to lose if my fears are realized?\u201d\u2014is that thing important, or is that thing really just a product of an inflated ego on my part?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a great question to ask of even: \u201cWhy am I afraid?\u201d I don\u2019t think it always starts with <em>fear<\/em> that we know; because I think many times, at least in our marriage, it starts with <em>anger<\/em>. If anger is a secondary emotion, then, the first\/primary emotion would be fear. I would respond to Dave in anger; and in a family situation, we\u2019d be in a fight, and I would be <em>angry<\/em>. He wouldn\u2019t say that I am fearful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Nope. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I was <em>fearful<\/em> that I wouldn\u2019t be seen, which stems from\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Do you have any video footage of this? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Actually, we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We do actually. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We have a few of those caught on video. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one, as a parent, that I think we\u2019ve all probably experienced. Our child\u2014especially a teenager or older\u2014starting to say things or act in ways that seems like they are walking away from the faith that we\u2019ve tried to ground them in their whole life. Often, a parent will respond angrily, because we\u2019re fearful. It\u2019s not just a gentle answer; it\u2019s like, \u201cWhat are you thinking?!\u201d How do I respond?\u2014because the posture of a parent in that moment is <em>critical<\/em> to <em>draw<\/em> them into a conversation; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So teach us; model for us. What would it be?\u2014a tone?\u2014would it be words? How do we\/how do we respond, as a dad or a husband, in that situation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s really smart of parents, like you just did, to recognize the difference between a teenager, and a toddler, or an eight-year-old; because the younger they are the more directive parents need to be; because they are a hazard to themselves; right? They can really get hurt if we\u2019re not directive. Those are the years, too, where they are a lot more receptive just developmentally to: \u201cThis is what we believe,\u201d \u201cThis is <em>why<\/em> we believe it,\u201d \u201cThis is who we are as a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they start to develop into those years, where they start to have opinions and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; what the most threatening thing to a parent is their child\u2019s first opinion. [Laughter] And questions and doubts\u2014doubts about things that are just dear; that are <em>everything<\/em> to us, as parents, especially that have to do with faith. What can backfire with teenagers is when we try to parent, you know, a 17-year-old as if they were still 8, where we are offering directive guidance rather than persuasive guidance, which oftentimes, involves more listening than speaking to get to the bottom of what is behind their questions,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> \u2014and where they are coming from, and what\u2019s in their heart\/what\u2019s informing their questions and their doubts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You are old enough to have adult children, who are forming their own opinions and thinking things through differently than, maybe, you\u2019ve thought them through. Here you are, a pastor who is <em>known<\/em> for what you think, and you\u2019re supposed to be influencing other people to think more biblically. When your own kids start to post on social media things that don\u2019t reflect well on you, how do you handle that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> You know, I am, I think in a lot of ways, one of those dads who hit the jackpot. I don\u2019t think I can remember a single time where either one of my kids has embarrassed me publicly. They\u2019ve got plenty of material; if they wanted to do that, they\u2019ve got plenty of material. I\u2019m serious; like I respect my daughters for that a lot. One of them is in her early-20s; the other is 18. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven as a real-time example happened recently, where our oldest daughter wanted to put her name on something\u2014like a public document that several people are signing\u2014and the question was: \u201cIs this going to put <em>you<\/em> in a bad place, Dad, because what I want to sign?\u201d She\u2019s a real advocate for certain vulnerable populations; and oftentimes, that kind of advocacy can be wrongly interpreted as being partisan in one direction or another; she\u2019s not. She\u2019s just actually a biblical person, wanting to defend and advocate for people, who are not getting a fair defense and advocacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s a real justice person; she\u2019s like, \u201cIs this going to get you shot at by certain people?\u201d\u2014because I pastor a church; and my audience, you know, from writing and speaking is pretty mixed, politically. As you all know, if you\u2019ve got a mixed political audience, you will get shot at from the polar extremes on both ends. I said to her, \u201cThis has nothing to do with me. You\u2019re your own person; God\u2019s at work in you in a unique way. You\u2019ve got a unique voice. You do what your conscience leads you to do, and I can handle it. My question is, \u2018Can <em>you<\/em> handle it if people criticize <em>me<\/em> for something you do and start to use what you signed against me?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I told her, \u201cI can handle it, and you should follow your conscience\u201d; but part of that is the climate that she\u2019s created of being somebody, who is very careful not to embarrass her dad publically when she has a lot of material; you know? I mean, she\u2019s becoming more and more of a peer and less and less like a child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> \u2014to us, which is a beautiful thing to watch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, I think we have to recognize we raised our kids to be adults, not just to parrot everything they heard from us, but to think on their own. When they do that, it\u2019s going to make us uncomfortable; but this is really what we want. We want them to think right. We\u2019d like them to think everything we think, but that\u2019s not realistic; we didn\u2019t think everything our parents thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And I love the conversation. For me, as our kids got older, I loved discovering who they were, what they thought, what they believed. I didn\u2019t always believe and agree with their stance on certain positions. One of our sons got married, and his wife was sitting in on these conversations. She started getting up, pacing around the house. We would dialogue about controversial subjects. It was one of my favorite things to do, because it was out of love. It was just dialoguing: hearing his heart\/hearing my heart. It wouldn\u2019t get hot, but it would get pretty intense and passionate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, we\u2019d be done; and we both really cared about each other and went, \u201cWow; that was a great conversation.\u201d Well, she finally said, \u201cI can\u2019t do this anymore!\u201d She hadn\u2019t said anything. I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d She goes, \u201cThis is so, like\u2014I\u2019m just so bothered by the whole thing.\u201d Our son turned and said, \u201cIt\u2019s\u2014we do this all the time\u201d; but she had never had those conversations\/where she wouldn\u2019t even talk to her parents about her views, because they\u2019d be controversial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; talk about that, Scott, in the context of a gentle answer; because different personalities and different temperaments are going to express their gentle answers differently. We can now be the gentleness police, coming along and saying, \u201cYou weren\u2019t gentle enough in how you said that\u201d; and the context may have been perfectly appropriate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Yes; so if we\u2019re all created in the image of God, and Christ is God\u2014the four of us are agreed on both of those things\u2014Christ has three, what theologians call, offices: He\u2019s prophet, He\u2019s priest, and He\u2019s king. When we try to act like the king in any contested conversation, it\u2019s not going to go well. [Laughter] When you have two people trying to act like the king, it\u2019s <em>really<\/em> going to be a train wreck. Our two remaining alternatives are to let Jesus alone be the king; and we need to ask ourselves: \u201cIs this moment a prophet moment, or is it a priest moment?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe prophet is the one who speaks truth. The priest is the one who communicates tenderness, gentleness, and humble in heart\u2014that part of Christ\/that aspect of Christ. Sometimes, it\u2019s combined. We\u2019ve got to ask, \u201cOkay; do I major in prophet and minor in priest in this situation?\u201d or \u201cDo I major in priest and minor in prophet?\u201d It just depends on what the situation is; but the two have to go together because, as soon as you separate prophet from priest\u2014if we\u2019re all prophet and no priest, we become kind of bully-ish\u2014again, we\u2019re not going to persuade anybody except people in our own echo chamber, and how boring is that? If we\u2019re all priests, then important truths might be taken off the table that need to be part of the conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think you are right in there to help us figure out, in our conversations with one another, how we can be prophetically gentle. I always come back to John 1:14. Jesus reveals the Father, full of grace and truth\/full of prophet and priest. We\u2019ve got to figure out: \u201cIf we naturally tend to be truth people, how can we amp up the grace?\u201d \u201cIf we naturally tend to be grace people, how can we amp up the truth so that we can be full of both?\u2014not try to minimize one for the sake of the other\u2014we want to speak the truth in love\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> We do. Posture is body language\/tone is so important. I think about the woman caught in adultery. Jesus, as Jesus does, gave us the perfect example about how to handle, let\u2019s say, a situation where you\u2019ve got sexual immorality; right? Woman was caught in the act of adultery. First, how curious that there was no man who was brought out in public, caught in the act of adultery, even though it takes two to get caught. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> So there is an injustice that\u2019s already revealed by the absence of a man being dragged into the public. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of these sort of condemning religious men, who wanted to execute this woman, have <em>left<\/em> because Jesus said, \u201cHey, whoever has no sin, you be the first to cast a stone at her.\u201d Of course, they all left. Jesus is the only man remaining, who is also the only man in that conversation, or any conversation, who was qualified to cast a stone; and He chose not to. Instead, He said, \u201cI do not condemn you. Now, go leave your life of sin.\u201d Priest: \u201cI do not condemn you\u201d; prophet: \u201cLeave your life of sin.\u201d The order is incredibly important of those two sentences. If you reverse that order and say, \u201cLeave your life of sin,\u201d\u2014and \u201cI don\u2019t condemn you,\u201d will be on the other side of that\u2014you have transitioned <em>away<\/em> from Christianity into moralism; and it\u2019s not Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> It\u2019s <em>not<\/em> Christian to lead with: \u201cGet your act together; then we\u2019ll have the acceptance conversation.\u201d It\u2019s precisely the opposite, where Christ <em>loves<\/em> people <em>before<\/em> they change. He creates <em>belonging<\/em> for them before they believe and before they obey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor some, He creates belonging for them, knowing that they <em>never<\/em> will obey. Think about the ten lepers that He healed. Only one of them came back and said, \u201cThank You.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cWhere are the other nine?\u201d He knew what the answer to that was; that question was more for the one who came back than it was of His curiosity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t do that well, naturally; but supernaturally, we have the resources to be able to. Again, part of that gets back to the logs-and-specks conversation. We have all the resources that free us to be humble and to address how we contribute. Jesus has given us every resource: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re forgiven,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re loved,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThere is nothing that you know about the worst part of yourself that I didn\u2019t know before you and that I don\u2019t know better than you. You are exposed, but you are not rejected. You\u2019re known, and you\u2019re loved; so get over yourself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStop feeling like you have to be right about everything and realize that whomever it is that you\u2019re trying to confront, persuade, swing over to your side\u2014realize that for every criticism you offer them\u2014their heart needs ten praises, just like yours does\/just like yours does. And just like you, every dysfunction or misbehavior that you see in this other person, or this other group, just never forget this closing line from the movie, <em>Wonder<\/em>, or the book, <em>Wonder<\/em>: \u201cEvery person you meet is fighting a hard-hitting battle.\u201d There is always a battle beneath our expressions of sin, and dysfunction, and offense. Empathy, compassion\u2014these are all Christ-like things\u2014but it does take a supernatural intrusion into our hearts for us to become those kinds of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, there is a verse that a lot of preachers never preach. I\u2019ve done it only a few times, and it\u2019s interesting why. I\u2019m sort of being factious; but Matthew 5, where Jesus says, \u201cTherefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother\/sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them and then bring and offer your gift.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI joke because pastors\u2014they\u2019d rather have the gift than people leave and go reconcile their relationships\u2014but it does highlight what your book is all about. Relationships and reconciliation are more important to the heart of God; this is <em>critical<\/em> stuff we\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s almost all the Apostle Paul wrote about when it came to human relationships. He\u2019s always trying to bring Jews and Gentiles together. The church is supposed to be the place where people, who cannot even get along with each other out in the world, become friends and then become as family to each other. That\u2019s the sign that we belong to Christ, according to Christ Himself: \u201cLord, I pray that they will be one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis disciples group is a group of people that included Matthew, the tax collector\/the big government guy; and Simon the Zealot, the small or no government guy\u2014so you\u2019ve got a Libertarian and a Marxist\u2014you know? Isn\u2019t it striking that there is no record of a single political debate between those two in the gospel? You would think, because all of the Gospels talk about how the disciples bickered with one another\u2014not one on record. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree years together\u2014they lived together; they died together. Matthew is the one and only Gospel writer who acknowledged the fact that Matthew was a tax collector and Simon was a Zealot. Jesus said to that group, that included those two, \u201cBy this, the world is going to know that you belong to Me, that you get along in ways that nobody can out there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I also think, I mean, if you apply this to the family\u2014just think, \u201cIf I am going to respond with a gentle answer, it could be very easy for me\u2014as a husband, as a dad, as a sibling\u2014to sit and wait: \u2018She\u2019s going to come to me and ask for forgiveness\/say she\u2019s sorry,\u2019 \u2014when my son or daughter\u2014no; I should <em>go<\/em> and say, \u2018I\u2019m sorry,\u2019 and with a gentle answer, invite a conversation,\u201d\u2014that is on me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which reminds me of Luke 6:27: \u201cBut I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse you.\u201d Wow; if we would live that out, our homes would look different; and our country would look different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Scott, what you are giving us with your book, <em>A Gentle Answer<\/em>, is a coaching manual. It\u2019s a way to think differently about our communication\/think biblically about our communication, and represent Jesus well in conversations with friends, family members, coworkers. There may be no more important time for us to be doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send to our listeners a copy of Scott\u2019s book, which again, is called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. If you can help support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> with a donation this week, Scott\u2019s book is our gift to you to say, \u201cThank you for partnering with us in helping to provide practical biblical help and hope for husbands and wives\/moms and dads all around the world.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is reaching hundreds of thousands of people every day, on radio to our podcasts, using Amazon<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Alexa\u2014all the different channels that are available to us. We\u2019re seeking to effectively develop godly marriages and families, because we believe godly marriages and families can change the world one home at a time. Again, if you can help advance the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love to send you Scott\u2019s book as a thank-you gift for your donation. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Scott\u2019s book, again, is called <em>A Gentle Answer: Our \u201cSecret Weapon\u201d in an Age of Us Against Them<\/em>. Ask for your copy of the book when you make a donation, either online or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about anger; because honestly, some of us are feeling angry\/frustrated\u2014angry is the right word. We\u2019re feeling angry when we see things going on in our world, and we want to think rightly about that and act rightly about that. Scott\u2019s going to be here to coach us on that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306399","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306399"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306399"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306399"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306399"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}