{"id":306346,"date":"2020-08-21T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-08-21T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/inviting-the-hard-questions\/"},"modified":"2020-08-21T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-08-21T11:00:05","slug":"inviting-the-hard-questions","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/inviting-the-hard-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Inviting the Hard Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shelby Abbott coaches parents on how to respond when their own kids begin asking tough questions, and how we can discern the difference between sincere searching vs. a refusal to bend the knee to the Savior?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-21.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:31","filesize":"26.1M","filesize_raw":"27372890","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2806,2855],"tags":[4299],"podcast_series":[8384],"cwp_profile":[3552],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306346","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-spiritual-development","category-teens","tag-faith","podcast_series-doubtless","cwp_profile-shelby-abbott","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306346\/inviting-the-hard-questions","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306346\/inviting-the-hard-questions","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pOZqz2GxR2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/inviting-the-hard-questions\/\">Inviting the Hard Questions<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/inviting-the-hard-questions\/embed\/#?secret=pOZqz2GxR2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Inviting the Hard Questions&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pOZqz2GxR2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-21.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-21.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s easy, as parents raising the next generation, to watch teenagers or young adults, who move away from their faith, and wonder if that\u2019s going to happen to our kids. Shelby Abbott says our responsibility, as parents, is to be faithful in what God\u2019s called us to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> I need to trust that, regardless of what happens with my children in the future\u2014and I pray daily that they will walk with Jesus for a lifetime\u2014I have to believe that God knows exactly what He is doing with them and that He is in control. My responsibility is to be intentional with them, and shepherd them, care for them, teach them as much as I can; but ultimately, they are not in my hands; they are in God\u2019s hands. I need to live that as an act of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What\u2019s our assignment as parents? How do we help steer our kids in the right direction and help them deal with challenges to their faith as they grow? Shelby Abbott joins us today to talk about that. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I got a call recently from a friend, someone in our church, who said, \u201cMy niece is struggling with the difference between doubt and unbelief. She\u2019s wrestling with doubts, and wondering if her doubt is unbelief, and how can you tell the difference between the two?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, would it help if you guys came over, and we sat down and just had a conversation about it?\u201d She said, \u201cYes; that\u2019d be great.\u201d They came over; and we\/Mary Ann and I spent the evening, and we talked about issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember thinking ahead of time: \u201cIt\u2019s pretty important how you have these kinds of conversations because, for somebody who is in a fragile faith place, those conversations can either help ease them back toward the faith or can turn them off and have them run in the other direction.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that shame piece can be really big if you shame someone in their doubt. Then they won\u2019t talk about it anymore; then it can stay inside and fester. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting\u2014we had a four-year-old son; we were talking about David and Goliath. I was telling him the story that night, and all of our boys were listening. I thought, \u201cThis is so good! I\u2019m telling this\u2014great; they are loving it.\u201d We went to bed that night, and I turned off the light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe four-year-old said, \u201cHey, so, David cut off Goliath\u2019s head.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes.\u201d He goes, \u201cBut we also have learned that we\u2019re supposed to not kill. It says that in the Ten Commandments.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, wow; he\u2019s getting this! This is awesome!\u201d He goes, \u201cSo why is it okay for David to kill and to celebrate\u2014and everyone celebrates that?\u2014but the Ten Commandments in the Bible tell us that we\u2019re not supposed to kill. I don\u2019t even get it. How can that happen?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell them what you said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m like\u2014in my heart, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOh no! He\u2019s like his dad!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember what you said; she goes, \u201cGo ask Dad.\u201d She was like, \u201cGo ask Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I said\/I called you\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cHey, Dave, come in; we\u2019re having this great discussion.\u201d In my heart, I\u2019m in pure panic, like, \u201cOh no!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s easy to do, as parents\u2014to know like, \u201cHow should I respond? I want to talk about this.\u201d I was freaking out, so I called Pastor Dave in. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you have an answer, Pastor Dave? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; of course, Bob. [Laughter] I had the exact right answer. No; I mean, I actually got excited. I mean, CJ was only four years old; and he has grown up to be a 34-year-old, married man now, and he still asks questions. I love that; I just encouraged it\u2014like that\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> First thing you said was, \u201cWow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWow!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cYou are <em>smart<\/em>, and what a <em>great<\/em> question.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and Bob, what you said\/started the program with\u2014I think is so good\u2014that those people sat in your living room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and talked to a human being. It\u2019s so easy to go on the internet and never converse with a real, live human being. It\u2019s <em>so<\/em> important to have <em>presence<\/em> in that moment and dialogue about these; because there are real good answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a guest joining us this week, who is helping us with this issue, and has written a book called <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. Shelby Abbott joins us. Shelby, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Thank you for having me once again. It\u2019s good to be with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In addition to be an author and a speaker, Shelby has been on staff with Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for 21 years now and has been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> before, wrote a book called <em>Pressure Points<\/em> about how to deal with pressure as a college student\/as a young adult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He wrote another book called <em>I Am a Tool<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you talk about a great book title. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s fun to mention it to people and see if they actually have a sense of humor at all. [Laughter] If they chuckle, I\u2019m willing to lean into the conversation a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This new book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m thinking of moms and dads I know who have got kids coming home from junior high or high school or college; and all of a sudden, the kids are coming and saying, \u201cYou know, my professor said\u2026\u201d and \u201cMy teacher said\u2026\u201d and the parents\u2014inside of them\u2014there is this freak-out moment that happens, where it\u2019s like, \u201cAm I at the beginning stages of my son or daughter starting to head out the door and leave the faith completely?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ve seen many examples of that over the years\u2014both people that I went to college with, when I was a student, to first round of Bible studies that I led at James Madison University\u2014people walking away from the faith\u2014and seeing, because of social media and that kind of stuff, now, you actually <em>know<\/em> about it. You can see images of it; you could see stuff that people type out. It could be very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve likened it a little bit to\u2014my daughters, right now, are nine and six\u2014so I don\u2019t want them to learn about certain things of the world from riding the bus home; that\u2019s not where I want them to learn about sex, or issues of sexuality, or what people think about different religions, or even curse words\u2014I don\u2019t want them to learn about that <em>from<\/em> completely unqualified fourth graders. [Laughter] I\u2019d rather engage with them <em>myself<\/em> and talk with them about those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want my daughters to feel welcome to ask those kinds of questions, from a very young age. I think what you said to your son, like\u2014\u201cThis is great!\u201d\u2014celebrate him as a person and that he is inquisitive. Address the doubt, of course; go after that and come alongside them in the process; because the journey is as important as the destination, I think, with our kids especially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Shelby, how would you open that conversation? How do you open the door with your kids to have a conversation about that in the first place? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you know I found, with my kids, the Bible talks about having a childlike faith. I always took that to mean like a dumbed-down faith. Then I had kids, and my kids started asking questions about <em>everything<\/em>. Opportunity has not been lacking to talk about tons of things; I think we\u2019ve got to be intentional. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have, like, weekly family devotions on Sundays in our house. That usually brings up a lot of questions about stuff; but as uncomfortable as it can be, as a parent, you need to be the one to lean into it in order to shepherd your child\u2019s heart in a direction that would be healthy for them; because it will help them in the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014which means you have to set an environment from the get-go: \u201cQuestions are okay,\u201d \u201cQuestions are good,\u201d \u201cQuestions are celebrated. We\u2019re not afraid of questions.\u201d Bring this stuff to the light rather than keep it hidden away\/like, \u201cIf you have doubts, there is something wrong with you.\u201d I think, too, moms and dads need to be verbal about their own wrestling with spiritual issues and just be open about that; don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Absolutely. I\u2019ve noticed, even too, we\u2019re constantly\u2014as parents, we\u2019re constantly correcting our children and tell them what they should and should not be doing. It\u2019s important that, at least in our family, what my wife and I have done\u2014we\u2019ve had these moments, where\u2014when we mess up and we sin against our kids, or we sin against one another, as spouses, in front of our kids\u2014that we\u2019re intentional to bring it up to them and say: \u201cHey, I\u2019m sorry for what I did,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said. Daddy sins too. Will you please forgive me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve noticed that kids don\u2019t hold grudges like that; they\u2019re just so quick to say, \u201cYes!\u201d; and they hug you and want to forgive you. I think that that shows them that: \u201cHey, I\u2019m not perfect. I\u2019m messed up too, and I need Jesus just as much as you need Jesus.\u201d So when it comes to doubts, being verbal about those things is a healthy thing; but underline knowing that we are going to lean into our relationship with God instead of slowly back away from Him. We\u2019re going to trust that He is going to meet us as we pursue Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I love your perspective on having childlike faith. I\u2019ve actually never read that or heard that perspective. You know, you always hear, \u201cChildlike faith means just blind faith. They believe anything without any reason\u201d; you know? And we think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s what God is asking us: \u2018Just believe. Just rub your feet together and believe, and it will happen.\u2019\u201d But no; it\u2019s so good that kids ask questions. You\u2019re encouraging, \u201cIt\u2019s okay to ask questions.\u201d In fact, you\u2019re inviting questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut let me ask you this\u2014so your child gets to be 13\/14\u2014they start to really develop doubts, and they ask you some really tough questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You, as a parent, don\u2019t know the answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You don\u2019t know; what do you say? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d [Laughter] I think that\u2019s okay. I think, you know, as parents, we always constantly are tempted to say, \u201cI do have all the answers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. <br><br><strong>Shelby:<\/strong> There are times when we just don\u2019t know. I think a <em>great<\/em> answer to a question you don\u2019t know is: \u201cI don\u2019t know, but let me try to find out for you.\u201d That\u2019s when it\u2019s our responsibility, as parents, to not just sweep it under the rug and move on; but actually go after those things so that, when they are adults, they will say, \u201cYou know, my dad didn\u2019t have it all together,\u201d \u201cMy mom didn\u2019t have it all together, and they didn\u2019t pretend like they did.\u201d That kind of authenticity is attractive; it just is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the freak-out side, for parents, is: \u201cIf I don\u2019t have an answer for this, you\u2019re going to reject truth; because I couldn\u2019t come up\u2014I\u2019m going to lose the sale; I\u2019m going to watch you walk away, because I can\u2019t give you an answer that makes sense to you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s maybe where my theology comes into play in those moments. I just believe that God knows exactly what He\u2019s doing. I mean, there are places in Scripture, too, where\u2014like Habakkuk talks about\u2014\u201cHey, You say that You\u2019re good. You say that You know what You are doing, but look around; all evidence is to the contrary.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany people have discovered that in the West lately because of the coronavirus that shut everything down. It\u2019s like, \u201cHow can God be in control of all of this?\u201d It\u2019s that you\u2019re thimble-brain of understanding\u2014would be like trying to pour the ocean into the thimble\u2014it just\/you just don\u2019t get things in the way that God does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI need to trust that, regardless of what happens with my children in the future\u2014and I pray daily that they will walk with Jesus for a lifetime\u2014I have to believe that God knows exactly what He is doing with them, and that He is in control. My responsibility is to be intentional with them, and shepherd them, care for them, teach them, as much as I can; but ultimately, they are not in my hands. They are in God\u2019s hands. I need to live that as an act of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, Shelby, do you think we live in a time where questions and doubt are greater than before? I know that, as a preacher in the last, probably, ten years\u2014maybe, Bob, you experience the same thing\u2014is when I\u2019m opening a text, I think more critically than I would have 20 years ago; because I think, \u201cOkay; my listener is more aware now than they were, let\u2019s say 30 years ago\u2014I\u2019m opening the Bible, and I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Most people here have never read the text; because they didn\u2019t go buy a Bible, and they didn\u2019t open it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, I know it\u2019s accessible on the internet. They might not only know what this text says, but they know what Richard Dawkins says <em>about<\/em> the existence of God. They have a little bit of a laymen\u2019s atheist theology. If I come with an elementary pat answer\u2014that would have worked 20 years ago\u2014they\u2019re [today\u2019s listener] going to sort of snicker and go, \u201cThis dude really hasn\u2019t done his homework.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; my guess is that the culture ebbs and flows over hundreds of years. I do know that it is different than it was in the \u201890\u2019s when I was in college. I will also say that people choose to trust in certain authorities that they just shouldn\u2019t trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is much evidence for the Bible; there is much evidence for the resurrection\u2014there is much evidence\u2014you\u2019ve just got to be willing to go find it and from the proper sources as opposed to just believing what anyone else says. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re going to believe a tweet or a meme that someone puts out there just because it\u2019s pithy and kind of funny, then that\u2019s on you; but I think, if anything, it forces us to be more\u2014as parents, at least\u2014it forces us to be more ready for the kind of questions that our kids are going to ask as they get older. I\u2019ve found that college students are pretty astute when it comes to that kind of thing, but that\u2019s why it\u2019s important to be with them in the process and really care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are a pastor, and you\u2019re preaching these kinds of things, it also helps you to know that: \u201cHey, this is\u2014the Bible says that we are going to be judged more harshly as teachers. I need to do my homework. I can\u2019t look for silver bullet answers that are going to solve everyone\u2019s problems. I need to put in the work, ask the right questions myself, and then pre-answer them before they are even asked.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s a tricky place with, especially, teens. I think what we can do, as parents, is\u2014we can get fearful of the places they are going for their research, so we could almost\u2014this is probably what I would have done in the day\u2014I would shut it down: \u201cWell, that\u2019s a terrible resource. Why are you going to those places to find those resources when there are much better places?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as parents, if we don\u2019t go out of relationship\/an existing relationship, and have the talk very carefully of not shaming them of where they are going, but also asking, \u201cOh, have you checked this one out as well?\u2014because this is a great place to go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and Shelby comment on this, too; because my sense is if, as parents, we appear to be freaked out by your doubt\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014if you come and you say, \u201cI\u2019m reading this, and we start to go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWHAT?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. I think what the kid picks up, subconsciously, is, \u201cOh, Mom and Dad are fearful here.\u201d Rather than \u201cMom and Dad are confident about what they believe\u201d; \u201cMom and Dad are afraid that somebody is going to be able to put a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csway me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we have to have an approach to our faith that has a confidence that says: \u201cYes; there have been critics for a long time; there are critics today. You\u2019ve run into one here; and in some cases, they can make a compelling-sounding argument. Let\u2019s talk about that,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cSTOP reading this!\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019ve got to clean your room immediately!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things that we loved about teenagers and college students that came home for the summer was\u2014we loved the conversations that we could have with them. Even when my sister died, our kids were middle school and elementary school; but I remember sharing with them, like: \u201cThis is really hard. I\u2019ve been praying a certain way, and I haven\u2019t seen those prayers answered the way that I wanted. I\u2019ve really struggled with: \u2018God, this is hard for me, and I don\u2019t get it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to have those discussions openly\u2014and even having them when our kids\u2019 friends come in\u2014to ask those hard questions, like, \u201cThis just happened, where this woman is really struggling,\u201d\u2014like the one I just talked about earlier\u2014\u201cwho is singing this song about how we can trust God; He doesn\u2019t let us down, but she doesn\u2019t believe that.\u201d To ask our teens, like, \u201cHave you ever felt like that?\u201d I think those late-night talks and those dinner conversations are some of the most <em>beautiful<\/em> times you can have with a teen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I found that with younger people, too, like they value authenticity in a way that, maybe, we\u201420 years ago, like to put on a good show; and that the show is what we thought we had to have correct\u2014but this day and age, when it comes to people wrestling with identity as part of what they think of who they are\u2014that kind of stuff\u2014if you\u2019re talking about those things, and you\u2019re forthright about them, and then you\u2019re admittedly saying, \u201cThis is where my flaws are,\u201d and \u201cI need to work at this more,\u201d that\u2019s just going to go a long, long way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you mentioned something earlier, too, that made me think. There are questions they may be asking right now; they might <em>think<\/em> that those are new questions; but to help them to see that: \u201cYour question has already been asked\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthousands of times, and there have been really quality answers given to those questions. You\u2019ve just got to be willing to go look for them instead of being completely derailed by something that they think, \u2018Nobody has ever figured this out before!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would just say, \u201cI think that\u2019s important.\u201d When they come, even if you don\u2019t have the answer, for you to be able to say, \u201cYou know, there are smart people, who have wrestled with this question before, and who have found answers. Let\u2019s look at what they say.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking with somebody recently about a famous religion professor, Bart Ehrman, who is at the University of North Carolina, who went to Moody and went to Wheaton\u2014and then went to Princeton and went off the rails there\u2014and said, \u201cI don\u2019t believe the Bible anymore.\u201d Now, he\u2019s a distinguished chair in Religion at the University of North Carolina. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get intimidated by somebody, who is a Greek scholar, and knows more languages than you do, and has done more study on this, who can say: \u201cAh, but what about the Dead Sea scrolls and what they say over here?\u201d \u201cWhat about the archaeological evidence over here?\u201d You don\u2019t have an answer for that. What you need to know is there are guys, every bit as credentialed and every bit as dedicated to scholarship as Bart Ehrman, who have looked at that and said, \u201cNo; Bart, you\u2019re wrong\u201d; and they can make an argument. You can listen to both sides and, ultimately, decide what you want to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I have to say here, Shelby\u2014we were teaching through John 5 recently. The Jewish leaders were coming; and Jesus said, \u201cI\u2019m equal with God.\u201d They said, \u201cYou\u2019re what?!\u201d He, then, provides the evidence\u2014He says: \u201cJohn the Baptist said I was equal with God. My miracles say I\u2019m equal with God. God says I\u2019m equal with Him. The Old Testament was pointing to Me. Moses says I\u2019m equal with God. So if you don\u2019t believe, you\u2019re going against all of those witnesses.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the middle of it, Jesus says, \u201cThe reason you don\u2019t believe is not because the evidence isn\u2019t there, the reason you don\u2019t believe is because you don\u2019t want to believe. Ultimately, you don\u2019t want to bow a knee; you don\u2019t want to surrender.\u201d Often, we have to recognize that, behind doubt, there is this desire to want to be in control of our own lives, and not to have to surrender to a Lord, and not to acknowledge our need for a Savior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ve found that so many young people don\u2019t like the idea of bending the knee, because they don\u2019t want anybody to tell them who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> But it\u2019s funny; they\u2019re just one trial\/one suffering session away from looking for the kind of authority that they need. The truth is that the Christian worldview is a <em>better<\/em> worldview than the one that they are clamoring for. They think it\u2019s freedom, but it actually is enslavement. Everybody needs to bow to some sort of authority. Wrestling with doubt, and that process of figuring out what that authority should be, is a healthy thing; because it can create a more galvanized and strong faith for a young person. As parents, it\u2019s really important that we allow them to take that journey, as scary as it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t\/I didn\u2019t like the idea of letting go of the bicycle seat with my daughter and watching her wobble\/pedal down the street, because I was afraid of what might happen; but if I never let go of the seat, she would never ride the bike on her own. Sometimes, we\u2019ve just got to let our kids\u2014even if they are in their teens, 20s, and 30s\u2014we\u2019ve got to let go of the seat, because they\u2019ve got to make the faith their own. They will not adopt the faith just because that\u2019s what we did as a kid\u2014especially in this day and age. They need to make it their own, and we should want that for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; for a mom or a dad to get with a teenager and say, \u201cLet\u2019s do a book club together. You and me\u2014let\u2019s read this a chapter at a time. We\u2019ll get together for breakfast once a week and talk about the chapter we read,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m talking about your book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grateful for the book and, Shelby, grateful for you and for your time with us this week. Thanks for being here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; thank you so much for having me. It\u2019s my pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of Shelby\u2019s book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. <em>Because Faith Is Hard<\/em> is the subtitle. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Order the book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>, from us online; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we just want to take a minute at the end of this week and say how thankful we are for those of you who, not only listen regularly to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014those of you who share programs that you hear with your friends\/pass along the podcasts so others can listen and benefit from the things you\u2019ve heard\u2014but also for that select group of you, who have taken that extra step and said, \u201cI\u2019m going to make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for other people in our community\/for other people around the world. I\u2019m going to help <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> reach more people more often.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time you make a donation, that\u2019s what you are doing. You are providing practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families, for young couples, for moms and dads raising the next generation. You are planting biblical seed in the lives of so many people through your donations. We\u2019re so grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book on marriage that I\u2019ve just finished\u2014a book called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. It\u2019s just now out, and it takes a look at what the Bible has to say about love from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, and what a marriage would look like if that kind of biblical love was at work in our relationship\u2014how we can move our relationship from a superficial foundation of romantic attachment and feelings to a durable foundation of biblical love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, is our thank-you gift when you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Ask for your copy of the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, when you get in touch with us; and thank you for your ongoing support of this ministry. We really do appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able, in some way or other, to worship together with your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how we can get young kids excited about the Bible, about God, about Jesus, about biblical truth; and it all involves slugs, and bugs, and other creatures. Randall Goodgame is going to be here to share about a project he is involved with that has young kids in mind. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:31"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.1M"],"filesize_raw":["27372890"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306346.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306346.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Abbott coaches parents on how to respond when their own kids begin asking tough questions, and how we can discern the difference between sincere searching vs. a refusal to bend the knee to the Savior?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-21.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s easy, as parents raising the next generation, to watch teenagers or young adults, who move away from their faith, and wonder if that\u2019s going to happen to our kids. Shelby Abbott says our responsibility, as parents, is to be faithful in what God\u2019s called us to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> I need to trust that, regardless of what happens with my children in the future\u2014and I pray daily that they will walk with Jesus for a lifetime\u2014I have to believe that God knows exactly what He is doing with them and that He is in control. My responsibility is to be intentional with them, and shepherd them, care for them, teach them as much as I can; but ultimately, they are not in my hands; they are in God\u2019s hands. I need to live that as an act of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 21<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What\u2019s our assignment as parents? How do we help steer our kids in the right direction and help them deal with challenges to their faith as they grow? Shelby Abbott joins us today to talk about that. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I got a call recently from a friend, someone in our church, who said, \u201cMy niece is struggling with the difference between doubt and unbelief. She\u2019s wrestling with doubts, and wondering if her doubt is unbelief, and how can you tell the difference between the two?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, would it help if you guys came over, and we sat down and just had a conversation about it?\u201d She said, \u201cYes; that\u2019d be great.\u201d They came over; and we\/Mary Ann and I spent the evening, and we talked about issues. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember thinking ahead of time: \u201cIt\u2019s pretty important how you have these kinds of conversations because, for somebody who is in a fragile faith place, those conversations can either help ease them back toward the faith or can turn them off and have them run in the other direction.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that shame piece can be really big if you shame someone in their doubt. Then they won\u2019t talk about it anymore; then it can stay inside and fester. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting\u2014we had a four-year-old son; we were talking about David and Goliath. I was telling him the story that night, and all of our boys were listening. I thought, \u201cThis is so good! I\u2019m telling this\u2014great; they are loving it.\u201d We went to bed that night, and I turned off the light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe four-year-old said, \u201cHey, so, David cut off Goliath\u2019s head.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes.\u201d He goes, \u201cBut we also have learned that we\u2019re supposed to not kill. It says that in the Ten Commandments.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, wow; he\u2019s getting this! This is awesome!\u201d He goes, \u201cSo why is it okay for David to kill and to celebrate\u2014and everyone celebrates that?\u2014but the Ten Commandments in the Bible tell us that we\u2019re not supposed to kill. I don\u2019t even get it. How can that happen?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell them what you said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m like\u2014in my heart, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOh no! He\u2019s like his dad!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember what you said; she goes, \u201cGo ask Dad.\u201d She was like, \u201cGo ask Dad.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I said\/I called you\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cHey, Dave, come in; we\u2019re having this great discussion.\u201d In my heart, I\u2019m in pure panic, like, \u201cOh no!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s easy to do, as parents\u2014to know like, \u201cHow should I respond? I want to talk about this.\u201d I was freaking out, so I called Pastor Dave in. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you have an answer, Pastor Dave? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; of course, Bob. [Laughter] I had the exact right answer. No; I mean, I actually got excited. I mean, CJ was only four years old; and he has grown up to be a 34-year-old, married man now, and he still asks questions. I love that; I just encouraged it\u2014like that\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> First thing you said was, \u201cWow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWow!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cYou are <em>smart<\/em>, and what a <em>great<\/em> question.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and Bob, what you said\/started the program with\u2014I think is so good\u2014that those people sat in your living room\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and talked to a human being. It\u2019s so easy to go on the internet and never converse with a real, live human being. It\u2019s <em>so<\/em> important to have <em>presence<\/em> in that moment and dialogue about these; because there are real good answers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a guest joining us this week, who is helping us with this issue, and has written a book called <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. Shelby Abbott joins us. Shelby, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Thank you for having me once again. It\u2019s good to be with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In addition to be an author and a speaker, Shelby has been on staff with Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> for 21 years now and has been on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> before, wrote a book called <em>Pressure Points<\/em> about how to deal with pressure as a college student\/as a young adult. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He wrote another book called <em>I Am a Tool<\/em>\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you talk about a great book title. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s fun to mention it to people and see if they actually have a sense of humor at all. [Laughter] If they chuckle, I\u2019m willing to lean into the conversation a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This new book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m thinking of moms and dads I know who have got kids coming home from junior high or high school or college; and all of a sudden, the kids are coming and saying, \u201cYou know, my professor said\u2026\u201d and \u201cMy teacher said\u2026\u201d and the parents\u2014inside of them\u2014there is this freak-out moment that happens, where it\u2019s like, \u201cAm I at the beginning stages of my son or daughter starting to head out the door and leave the faith completely?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ve seen many examples of that over the years\u2014both people that I went to college with, when I was a student, to first round of Bible studies that I led at James Madison University\u2014people walking away from the faith\u2014and seeing, because of social media and that kind of stuff, now, you actually <em>know<\/em> about it. You can see images of it; you could see stuff that people type out. It could be very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve likened it a little bit to\u2014my daughters, right now, are nine and six\u2014so I don\u2019t want them to learn about certain things of the world from riding the bus home; that\u2019s not where I want them to learn about sex, or issues of sexuality, or what people think about different religions, or even curse words\u2014I don\u2019t want them to learn about that <em>from<\/em> completely unqualified fourth graders. [Laughter] I\u2019d rather engage with them <em>myself<\/em> and talk with them about those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want my daughters to feel welcome to ask those kinds of questions, from a very young age. I think what you said to your son, like\u2014\u201cThis is great!\u201d\u2014celebrate him as a person and that he is inquisitive. Address the doubt, of course; go after that and come alongside them in the process; because the journey is as important as the destination, I think, with our kids especially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Shelby, how would you open that conversation? How do you open the door with your kids to have a conversation about that in the first place? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you know I found, with my kids, the Bible talks about having a childlike faith. I always took that to mean like a dumbed-down faith. Then I had kids, and my kids started asking questions about <em>everything<\/em>. Opportunity has not been lacking to talk about tons of things; I think we\u2019ve got to be intentional. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have, like, weekly family devotions on Sundays in our house. That usually brings up a lot of questions about stuff; but as uncomfortable as it can be, as a parent, you need to be the one to lean into it in order to shepherd your child\u2019s heart in a direction that would be healthy for them; because it will help them in the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014which means you have to set an environment from the get-go: \u201cQuestions are okay,\u201d \u201cQuestions are good,\u201d \u201cQuestions are celebrated. We\u2019re not afraid of questions.\u201d Bring this stuff to the light rather than keep it hidden away\/like, \u201cIf you have doubts, there is something wrong with you.\u201d I think, too, moms and dads need to be verbal about their own wrestling with spiritual issues and just be open about that; don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Absolutely. I\u2019ve noticed, even too, we\u2019re constantly\u2014as parents, we\u2019re constantly correcting our children and tell them what they should and should not be doing. It\u2019s important that, at least in our family, what my wife and I have done\u2014we\u2019ve had these moments, where\u2014when we mess up and we sin against our kids, or we sin against one another, as spouses, in front of our kids\u2014that we\u2019re intentional to bring it up to them and say: \u201cHey, I\u2019m sorry for what I did,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry for what I said. Daddy sins too. Will you please forgive me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve noticed that kids don\u2019t hold grudges like that; they\u2019re just so quick to say, \u201cYes!\u201d; and they hug you and want to forgive you. I think that that shows them that: \u201cHey, I\u2019m not perfect. I\u2019m messed up too, and I need Jesus just as much as you need Jesus.\u201d So when it comes to doubts, being verbal about those things is a healthy thing; but underline knowing that we are going to lean into our relationship with God instead of slowly back away from Him. We\u2019re going to trust that He is going to meet us as we pursue Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I love your perspective on having childlike faith. I\u2019ve actually never read that or heard that perspective. You know, you always hear, \u201cChildlike faith means just blind faith. They believe anything without any reason\u201d; you know? And we think, \u201cOh, that\u2019s what God is asking us: \u2018Just believe. Just rub your feet together and believe, and it will happen.\u2019\u201d But no; it\u2019s so good that kids ask questions. You\u2019re encouraging, \u201cIt\u2019s okay to ask questions.\u201d In fact, you\u2019re inviting questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut let me ask you this\u2014so your child gets to be 13\/14\u2014they start to really develop doubts, and they ask you some really tough questions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You, as a parent, don\u2019t know the answer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You don\u2019t know; what do you say? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d [Laughter] I think that\u2019s okay. I think, you know, as parents, we always constantly are tempted to say, \u201cI do have all the answers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. <br><br><strong>Shelby:<\/strong> There are times when we just don\u2019t know. I think a <em>great<\/em> answer to a question you don\u2019t know is: \u201cI don\u2019t know, but let me try to find out for you.\u201d That\u2019s when it\u2019s our responsibility, as parents, to not just sweep it under the rug and move on; but actually go after those things so that, when they are adults, they will say, \u201cYou know, my dad didn\u2019t have it all together,\u201d \u201cMy mom didn\u2019t have it all together, and they didn\u2019t pretend like they did.\u201d That kind of authenticity is attractive; it just is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But the freak-out side, for parents, is: \u201cIf I don\u2019t have an answer for this, you\u2019re going to reject truth; because I couldn\u2019t come up\u2014I\u2019m going to lose the sale; I\u2019m going to watch you walk away, because I can\u2019t give you an answer that makes sense to you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s maybe where my theology comes into play in those moments. I just believe that God knows exactly what He\u2019s doing. I mean, there are places in Scripture, too, where\u2014like Habakkuk talks about\u2014\u201cHey, You say that You\u2019re good. You say that You know what You are doing, but look around; all evidence is to the contrary.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany people have discovered that in the West lately because of the coronavirus that shut everything down. It\u2019s like, \u201cHow can God be in control of all of this?\u201d It\u2019s that you\u2019re thimble-brain of understanding\u2014would be like trying to pour the ocean into the thimble\u2014it just\/you just don\u2019t get things in the way that God does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI need to trust that, regardless of what happens with my children in the future\u2014and I pray daily that they will walk with Jesus for a lifetime\u2014I have to believe that God knows exactly what He is doing with them, and that He is in control. My responsibility is to be intentional with them, and shepherd them, care for them, teach them, as much as I can; but ultimately, they are not in my hands. They are in God\u2019s hands. I need to live that as an act of faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, Shelby, do you think we live in a time where questions and doubt are greater than before? I know that, as a preacher in the last, probably, ten years\u2014maybe, Bob, you experience the same thing\u2014is when I\u2019m opening a text, I think more critically than I would have 20 years ago; because I think, \u201cOkay; my listener is more aware now than they were, let\u2019s say 30 years ago\u2014I\u2019m opening the Bible, and I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Most people here have never read the text; because they didn\u2019t go buy a Bible, and they didn\u2019t open it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, I know it\u2019s accessible on the internet. They might not only know what this text says, but they know what Richard Dawkins says <em>about<\/em> the existence of God. They have a little bit of a laymen\u2019s atheist theology. If I come with an elementary pat answer\u2014that would have worked 20 years ago\u2014they\u2019re [today\u2019s listener] going to sort of snicker and go, \u201cThis dude really hasn\u2019t done his homework.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; my guess is that the culture ebbs and flows over hundreds of years. I do know that it is different than it was in the \u201890\u2019s when I was in college. I will also say that people choose to trust in certain authorities that they just shouldn\u2019t trust. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is much evidence for the Bible; there is much evidence for the resurrection\u2014there is much evidence\u2014you\u2019ve just got to be willing to go find it and from the proper sources as opposed to just believing what anyone else says. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re going to believe a tweet or a meme that someone puts out there just because it\u2019s pithy and kind of funny, then that\u2019s on you; but I think, if anything, it forces us to be more\u2014as parents, at least\u2014it forces us to be more ready for the kind of questions that our kids are going to ask as they get older. I\u2019ve found that college students are pretty astute when it comes to that kind of thing, but that\u2019s why it\u2019s important to be with them in the process and really care for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are a pastor, and you\u2019re preaching these kinds of things, it also helps you to know that: \u201cHey, this is\u2014the Bible says that we are going to be judged more harshly as teachers. I need to do my homework. I can\u2019t look for silver bullet answers that are going to solve everyone\u2019s problems. I need to put in the work, ask the right questions myself, and then pre-answer them before they are even asked.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s a tricky place with, especially, teens. I think what we can do, as parents, is\u2014we can get fearful of the places they are going for their research, so we could almost\u2014this is probably what I would have done in the day\u2014I would shut it down: \u201cWell, that\u2019s a terrible resource. Why are you going to those places to find those resources when there are much better places?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as parents, if we don\u2019t go out of relationship\/an existing relationship, and have the talk very carefully of not shaming them of where they are going, but also asking, \u201cOh, have you checked this one out as well?\u2014because this is a great place to go.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and Shelby comment on this, too; because my sense is if, as parents, we appear to be freaked out by your doubt\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014if you come and you say, \u201cI\u2019m reading this, and we start to go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cWHAT?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. I think what the kid picks up, subconsciously, is, \u201cOh, Mom and Dad are fearful here.\u201d Rather than \u201cMom and Dad are confident about what they believe\u201d; \u201cMom and Dad are afraid that somebody is going to be able to put a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csway me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we have to have an approach to our faith that has a confidence that says: \u201cYes; there have been critics for a long time; there are critics today. You\u2019ve run into one here; and in some cases, they can make a compelling-sounding argument. Let\u2019s talk about that,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cSTOP reading this!\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019ve got to clean your room immediately!\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things that we loved about teenagers and college students that came home for the summer was\u2014we loved the conversations that we could have with them. Even when my sister died, our kids were middle school and elementary school; but I remember sharing with them, like: \u201cThis is really hard. I\u2019ve been praying a certain way, and I haven\u2019t seen those prayers answered the way that I wanted. I\u2019ve really struggled with: \u2018God, this is hard for me, and I don\u2019t get it.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to have those discussions openly\u2014and even having them when our kids\u2019 friends come in\u2014to ask those hard questions, like, \u201cThis just happened, where this woman is really struggling,\u201d\u2014like the one I just talked about earlier\u2014\u201cwho is singing this song about how we can trust God; He doesn\u2019t let us down, but she doesn\u2019t believe that.\u201d To ask our teens, like, \u201cHave you ever felt like that?\u201d I think those late-night talks and those dinner conversations are some of the most <em>beautiful<\/em> times you can have with a teen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I found that with younger people, too, like they value authenticity in a way that, maybe, we\u201420 years ago, like to put on a good show; and that the show is what we thought we had to have correct\u2014but this day and age, when it comes to people wrestling with identity as part of what they think of who they are\u2014that kind of stuff\u2014if you\u2019re talking about those things, and you\u2019re forthright about them, and then you\u2019re admittedly saying, \u201cThis is where my flaws are,\u201d and \u201cI need to work at this more,\u201d that\u2019s just going to go a long, long way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you mentioned something earlier, too, that made me think. There are questions they may be asking right now; they might <em>think<\/em> that those are new questions; but to help them to see that: \u201cYour question has already been asked\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthousands of times, and there have been really quality answers given to those questions. You\u2019ve just got to be willing to go look for them instead of being completely derailed by something that they think, \u2018Nobody has ever figured this out before!\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I would just say, \u201cI think that\u2019s important.\u201d When they come, even if you don\u2019t have the answer, for you to be able to say, \u201cYou know, there are smart people, who have wrestled with this question before, and who have found answers. Let\u2019s look at what they say.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking with somebody recently about a famous religion professor, Bart Ehrman, who is at the University of North Carolina, who went to Moody and went to Wheaton\u2014and then went to Princeton and went off the rails there\u2014and said, \u201cI don\u2019t believe the Bible anymore.\u201d Now, he\u2019s a distinguished chair in Religion at the University of North Carolina. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get intimidated by somebody, who is a Greek scholar, and knows more languages than you do, and has done more study on this, who can say: \u201cAh, but what about the Dead Sea scrolls and what they say over here?\u201d \u201cWhat about the archaeological evidence over here?\u201d You don\u2019t have an answer for that. What you need to know is there are guys, every bit as credentialed and every bit as dedicated to scholarship as Bart Ehrman, who have looked at that and said, \u201cNo; Bart, you\u2019re wrong\u201d; and they can make an argument. You can listen to both sides and, ultimately, decide what you want to believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I have to say here, Shelby\u2014we were teaching through John 5 recently. The Jewish leaders were coming; and Jesus said, \u201cI\u2019m equal with God.\u201d They said, \u201cYou\u2019re what?!\u201d He, then, provides the evidence\u2014He says: \u201cJohn the Baptist said I was equal with God. My miracles say I\u2019m equal with God. God says I\u2019m equal with Him. The Old Testament was pointing to Me. Moses says I\u2019m equal with God. So if you don\u2019t believe, you\u2019re going against all of those witnesses.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the middle of it, Jesus says, \u201cThe reason you don\u2019t believe is not because the evidence isn\u2019t there, the reason you don\u2019t believe is because you don\u2019t want to believe. Ultimately, you don\u2019t want to bow a knee; you don\u2019t want to surrender.\u201d Often, we have to recognize that, behind doubt, there is this desire to want to be in control of our own lives, and not to have to surrender to a Lord, and not to acknowledge our need for a Savior. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ve found that so many young people don\u2019t like the idea of bending the knee, because they don\u2019t want anybody to tell them who they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> But it\u2019s funny; they\u2019re just one trial\/one suffering session away from looking for the kind of authority that they need. The truth is that the Christian worldview is a <em>better<\/em> worldview than the one that they are clamoring for. They think it\u2019s freedom, but it actually is enslavement. Everybody needs to bow to some sort of authority. Wrestling with doubt, and that process of figuring out what that authority should be, is a healthy thing; because it can create a more galvanized and strong faith for a young person. As parents, it\u2019s really important that we allow them to take that journey, as scary as it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t\/I didn\u2019t like the idea of letting go of the bicycle seat with my daughter and watching her wobble\/pedal down the street, because I was afraid of what might happen; but if I never let go of the seat, she would never ride the bike on her own. Sometimes, we\u2019ve just got to let our kids\u2014even if they are in their teens, 20s, and 30s\u2014we\u2019ve got to let go of the seat, because they\u2019ve got to make the faith their own. They will not adopt the faith just because that\u2019s what we did as a kid\u2014especially in this day and age. They need to make it their own, and we should want that for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; for a mom or a dad to get with a teenager and say, \u201cLet\u2019s do a book club together. You and me\u2014let\u2019s read this a chapter at a time. We\u2019ll get together for breakfast once a week and talk about the chapter we read,\u201d\u2014and I\u2019m talking about your book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m grateful for the book and, Shelby, grateful for you and for your time with us this week. Thanks for being here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Shelby:<\/strong> Yes; thank you so much for having me. It\u2019s my pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of Shelby\u2019s book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>. <em>Because Faith Is Hard<\/em> is the subtitle. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Order the book, <em>DoubtLess<\/em>, from us online; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we just want to take a minute at the end of this week and say how thankful we are for those of you who, not only listen regularly to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014those of you who share programs that you hear with your friends\/pass along the podcasts so others can listen and benefit from the things you\u2019ve heard\u2014but also for that select group of you, who have taken that extra step and said, \u201cI\u2019m going to make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible for other people in our community\/for other people around the world. I\u2019m going to help <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> reach more people more often.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time you make a donation, that\u2019s what you are doing. You are providing practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families, for young couples, for moms and dads raising the next generation. You are planting biblical seed in the lives of so many people through your donations. We\u2019re so grateful for your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, if you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a book on marriage that I\u2019ve just finished\u2014a book called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. It\u2019s just now out, and it takes a look at what the Bible has to say about love from 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, and what a marriage would look like if that kind of biblical love was at work in our relationship\u2014how we can move our relationship from a superficial foundation of romantic attachment and feelings to a durable foundation of biblical love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, is our thank-you gift when you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Ask for your copy of the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, when you get in touch with us; and thank you for your ongoing support of this ministry. We really do appreciate you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able, in some way or other, to worship together with your local church this weekend. And I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how we can get young kids excited about the Bible, about God, about Jesus, about biblical truth; and it all involves slugs, and bugs, and other creatures. Randall Goodgame is going to be here to share about a project he is involved with that has young kids in mind. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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