{"id":306335,"date":"2020-08-17T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-08-17T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-happy-childhood\/"},"modified":"2020-08-17T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-08-17T11:00:04","slug":"a-happy-childhood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-happy-childhood\/","title":{"rendered":"A Happy Childhood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Becket Cook tells how his Christian parents reacted when he finally came out to his family, and advises parents on what to do when their son or daughter comes out as being gay.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:37","filesize":"22.54M","filesize_raw":"23632667","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2906,2805,2896],"tags":[4129],"podcast_series":[8383],"cwp_profile":[9641],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306335","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-christian","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-lgbt","tag-homosexuality","podcast_series-a-change-of-affection","cwp_profile-becket-cook","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306335\/a-happy-childhood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306335\/a-happy-childhood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"bKfhtPvBJk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-happy-childhood\/\">A Happy Childhood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-happy-childhood\/embed\/#?secret=bKfhtPvBJk\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Happy Childhood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"bKfhtPvBJk\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a teenager growing up in Texas, Becket Cook began experiencing an unwelcome desire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I started to sense that I was attracted to the same sex; that was kind of an odd sensation, because it was very much frowned upon. I had to lead this double life and had to keep this a deep, dark secret. I was very social and very popular in school\u2014in elementary school and high school\u2014but I had this secret life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How did Becket Cook process this unwelcome desire he was experiencing? How did he handle all of that? We\u2019ll find out from him today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the verses of Scripture\u2014I\u2019ve been thinking about this as I was thinking about our conversation today\/a verse that I come back to that I really love\u2014this is from 1 Peter, Chapter 2, where Peter describes who we are in Christ. He says, \u201cYou\u2019re a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.\u201d I was thinking about that, because we\u2019re going to hear a darkness-to-light story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s an inspiring story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That passage is the epitome of what happens in a person\u2019s life\u2014from darkness to light\u2014it isn\u2019t a little bit; it\u2019s absolute old life\/new life. The story today is inspiring in that regard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Becket Cook is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome, Becket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I read your story of your conversion online. I think it was on The Gospel Coalition website. I was like, \u201cThis is an <em>amazing<\/em> story.\u201d Everybody\u2019s conversion is an amazing story; because all of us, dead in our trespasses and sins, made alive in Christ. Yours was a unique journey because it involved you being engaged in Hollywood and the entertainment industry, living for years as a gay man. Then, a providential encounter\u2014I was going to say a chance encounter\u2014but a providential encounter at a coffee shop, where you heard the gospel for the first time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s go back to you growing up as a kid in Dallas, one of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014one of eight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014eight kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I grew up in a large Catholic family. We were very devout Catholics; I went to Catholic schools my whole life. But at a very early age, I started to sense that I was attracted to the same sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Early? How early?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Probably sixth\/seventh grade, maybe? That was an odd sensation, because it was very much frowned upon. I kind of had to lead this double life and had to keep this a deep, dark secret. I was very social and very popular in school\u2014in elementary school and high school\u2014but I had this secret life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you hadn\u2019t told anyone about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>I told, actually, a childhood friend that I had known since we were babies basically; our mothers were best friends. He was aware of it; but I didn\u2019t really get to kind of the next level until high school, when I befriended someone who became my best friend in high school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne night we were out, and we basically came out to each other at this club in Dallas. There were gay people there; there were straight people there; there were transgender people there. My best friend and I came out to each other. That\u2019s when I really felt like, \u201cOkay; now I can really confide in somebody.\u201d We explored gay culture together. We went to gay bars; I was 15 years old, going to gay bars. I don\u2019t know how we got in; he was 14. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Fifteen? Your parents had no idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; because I was the youngest of eight, and they\u2019d lost track. [Laughter] Little did they know I was going to these clubs and bars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going to the Stark Club, for example\u2014or to a gay bar for the first time\u2014and just feeling like: \u201cWow. These are my people! These people get who I am. They have the same feelings I have.\u201d It was this huge eye-opening experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Had you started acting out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, that started at 12 or 13?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; started in like\u2014probably seventh grade, I was acting out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019d had an experience, where you had been sexually abused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; I think I was in fifth grade. I had spent the night at a friend\u2019s house. I had spent the night at his house before several times; but this one particular night, I was asleep in the guest room. In the middle of the night, I woke up; and his father was molesting me. I remember it being <em>very<\/em> scary. I thought that, if he saw that I was awake, he was going to stab me with a knife\u2014that was like the first thought. He ended up leaving the room. He came back, and I was sitting up in bed. He made up some weird excuse and then left the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t tell my parents, which I wish I had done; my dad was a lawyer, and he would\u2019ve gone after this guy. I didn\u2019t tell them because I knew that, if I did, there would be so much shame and stigma if it got out. I never thought that it was that big of a deal to me\u2014it was <em>that<\/em> night\u2014but I just thought, afterwards, \u201cWell, that happened; and it\u2019s not really going to have an impact on my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Now, as a man, you look back and think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Oh, yes. Now I look back, and I\u2019m like, \u201cWow; that had a <em>huge<\/em> impact on my life.\u201d It really damaged me in <em>so many ways<\/em>, emotionally. What sexual abuse does, I think in almost all cases, is it makes you very promiscuous. I was very promiscuous; so I think that sexual abuse has that effect on people, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so interesting when I hear this, because my mom\u2019s heart gets worried and thinks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cNo slumber parties for my kids for the rest of their\u2026\u201d; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s the thing\u2014you cannot trust anyone. Slumber parties are dangerous, because you never know what can happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you were a dad today, your kids wouldn\u2019t go to a slumber party. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Never; no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting\u2014Ann, as we were raising our three boys, she was that mom\u2014like: \u201cWe\u2019re not letting them sleep over.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Part of it was because I have sexual abuse in my background. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s not just some weirdo; it\u2019s people that you <em>know<\/em>\u201d; and it\u2019s relatives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You [Dave] felt like, \u201cYou need to trust people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I was na\u00efve; I really was! Again, my wife was right. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Again, yet <em>again<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Finally, I\u2019m right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But it\u2019s <em>so hard<\/em>. You know that, as parents, because all of the other kids are going to the slumber party, and your kid can\u2019t? And how do you explain that to whoever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014even your kid!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My kids were <em>mad<\/em> at me; they think I\u2019m ridiculous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>They probably would\u00a0 still say, \u201cMom, you were a little ridiculous about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By the same token\u2014the fact that you\u2019re 15, and sneaking out to gay bars, and staying out until all hours of the night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014until five in the morning sometimes\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014on school nights! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>What?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And your parents didn\u2019t <em>know<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I remember one night I was out at the Stark Club until five in the morning. This was my senior year of high school or junior year. I came home; and I snuck in the front door, and my dad was coming downstairs to get ready to go to work. He just looked at me\u2014didn\u2019t say a word\u2014and just walked to the kitchen, and I walked to my bedroom. We never said a word about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have you talked with your parents about <em>that<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014those days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> My parents are physically with Christ right now; they died in 2015, six months apart. About eight years ago\/seven years ago, I had dinner with my dad. He had\/they had already known. My brother that\u2019s closest in age to me\u2014he knew about this whole thing back when it happened\u2014I told him. He told my whole family when I moved to LA and I came out; he told my family about that night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat my dad down and I said, \u201cDad, I want to explain to you what happened that night.\u201d I told him <em>every<\/em> detail of the story; I told him <em>exactly<\/em> what happened. I said, \u201cDad, if I had told you at the time, what would you have done?\u201d He goes, \u201cI would\u2019ve given him two choices: either turn himself in, or\u2026.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did that make you feel when he said that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> That\u2019s the thing\u2014that\u2019s one of the things I <em>feared<\/em>. Another thing I feared, telling them at the time, was I was afraid my dad was going to completely lose it and go kill this guy. My dad would go to prison; we would be raised without a father, and I would be \u201cresponsible.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You had the whole scenario in your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; so that\u2019s why. Basically, he admitted that\u2019s what would\u2019ve happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly what you thought; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had planned to go to medical school and\/or law school; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; I was pre-med in college. After I graduated\u2014which was a shame\u2014I realized I didn\u2019t want to be a physician. In the meantime, I applied to law school and dental school. I already had the pre-requirements for dental school. I got into Baylor dental school in Dallas, and I got into SMU law school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I moved to Tokyo for a year, because I was totally freaked out. I was like: \u201cWhat am I going to do with my life? I don\u2019t want to be a doctor. I don\u2019t want to be a dentist. I don\u2019t want to be a lawyer. What do I do?\u201d I moved to Japan with my best friend from college, and we lived in Tokyo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then I ended up scrapping all of that\u2014the lawyer\/dentist thing. My dad was a lawyer, so he was super bummed out when I told him. I had my classes; I was enrolled in law school\u2014I had my first semester of classes. I said, \u201cDad, I\u2019m moving to LA. I\u2019m not going to law school.\u201d He was like, \u201cHuh?\u201d Again, it was, \u201cWhatever; do whatever you want.\u201d I loaded up my car and moved to LA the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, is this a pattern in your life?\u2014of being\u2014 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you [Dave] the counselor now? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; I mean, it sounds like: \u201cI had this idea,\u201d and \u201c\u2026this idea,\u201d and \u201cAt the last minute\u2026.\u201d I mean, was that something you normally did? Or were you like, \u201cI know what I\u2019m going to do,\u201d and this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; my pattern in my life, growing up, was I was always super focused on school. I was very social, but I always <em>loved<\/em> doing my homework. I <em>loved<\/em> getting good grades\u2014I was very focused on that\u2014I wasn\u2019t all over the place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which is interesting; you were also dating girls, even in high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; in high school, I went steady with three different girls. I remember one girl in particular\u2014we\u2019re really close still\u2014one night, we were making out. She was like, \u201cBecket, are you gay?\u201d I think she was surprised I didn\u2019t try to make more moves on her. She was like, \u201cAre you gay?\u201d I was like, \u201cNo, no; what are you talking about?\u201d I denied it, denied it, denied it. I did date girls, but it was mostly for the social purposes of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In that moment, where she is saying, \u201cYou can tell me,\u201d didn\u2019t you want to tell somebody?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I already had my best friend in high school that I was telling, so I didn\u2019t really need to tell <em>her<\/em>. I knew that it was embarrassing; you know, it was embarrassing to tell her, because we were dating; so I didn\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you not want to tell the world, at some level?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No, I did not; because in high school, and somewhat in college, I felt like my same-sex attraction was sort of like a phase I was going through. I never really saw it as a permanent thing of my life. I always thought, \u201cI\u2019ll eventually get married to a woman, and we\u2019ll have a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t until after Tokyo\u2014my roommate\u2019s friend from Texas came to visit us for a week, and we ended up falling in love. That was the first time I was really in a relationship with a guy. After that happened, that\u2019s when I felt like I came out to everyone; I came out to my family\/ my friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There was no turning back, you thought, at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> There was no turning back. I finally felt like, \u201cThis is definitely who I am. This is immutable. This is never going to change, and I don\u2019t even want it to change.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> At that point, though, are you celebrating this? Are you excited, \u201cThis is who I am\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and is there any fear or shame in it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s 1992, so it\u2019s not like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s still pretty early.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014there\u2019s still a stigma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Still a stigma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s at the middle or the end of the whole AIDS crisis happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; it was a scary time, because it was <em>very<\/em> dangerous. I guess I was so \u201cin love,\u201d that I just didn\u2019t care. I was like, \u201cThis is who I am; take it or leave it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy parents\u2019 reaction was so brilliant; they were so kind of cool about it\u2014not in a\u2014my parents believed it was a sin; they were very much opposed to it. All of my siblings were Christians; and they believed it was a sin, too. But my mother cried when I got back from Tokyo; she started crying in the kitchen. I said, \u201cMom, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d She said, \u201cOh, Becket, I heard you were a homosexual.\u201d I said, \u201cMom, it\u2019s okay. This is who I am. It\u2019s not a big deal; don\u2019t worry; I\u2019m fine.\u201d She calmed down after that and was super loving and amazing my whole life after that. She always was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2014I didn\u2019t know how he was going to react. I drove up the driveway one day, and he came up and drove right in after me. He came up to me; he\u2019s like, \u201cHey, Beck; so I heard you\u2019re a homosexual. Are you mad at me about anything?\u201d \u201cDid I do anything wrong as a father?\u201d \u201cAre you mad at me about not protecting you from your brother, Peter, beating you up?\u2014you guys fighting all the time.\u201d I remember saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not your fault; this is just who I am.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey weren\u2019t supportive of my being gay\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They loved you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014but they were supportive of me, and they <em>loved<\/em> me. Their reaction was really nice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> From your perspective today\u2014as a guy who has come to faith in Christ, who looks back on this and identifies it as sin, who is living celibately today\u2014talk to parents, who have a 22-year-old, who comes home from college and days, \u201cHey, Mom\/Dad; sit down. I\u2019ve got to talk to you.\u201d They\u2019ve wondered for awhile if something was going on, and now their son or daughter is coming out. What\u2019s your coaching to those parents?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Well, I go into this in my book about\u2014there\u2019s a whole section on what to do\/what not to do. This is the thing\u2014when a child comes out to their parents, it\u2019s one of the most important moments in that person\u2019s life; it\u2019s something you <em>never<\/em> forget. You never forget that moment when you come out. I always say, \u201cEveryone needs to have grace and be calm. Don\u2019t fly off the handle. Don\u2019t freak out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the problem\u2014when you\u2019re growing up gay, you have years and years to wrestle with it and to come to terms with it. When you come out, you expect your parents to automatically be on the same page. A lot of people don\u2019t give their parents the grace to mourn, and grieve, and go through all that; so kids need to give their parents grace. Parents need to go into a closet and cry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents\u2019 reaction is <em>so<\/em> important\u2014for parents to have a loving reaction to it rather than fly off the handle, and go into some sort of rage, and start quoting Bible verses; that is not helpful in that situation. The only thing, in my opinion, that is helpful is for a parent to just listen and to love their child unconditionally, regardless of what\u2019s going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The parent who\u2019s concerned that, \u201cIf that\u2019s what I demonstrate, the child is going to think that I\u2019m okay with their gayness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; I mean, I <em>knew<\/em> my parents weren\u2019t okay with it; they made it clear. I think parents should make that\/obviously, if that\u2019s not clear, they need to make that clear first. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t badger or bludgeon your child into the kingdom of God; that\u2019s not going to work. You can\u2019t beat them over the head with a Bible and say, \u201cWell, look at this Scripture! Look at this!\u201d If my parents had done that with me, there\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> they could have done to stop me from being the prodigal; there\u2019s absolutely nothing. I was on this trajectory, and nothing they could\u2019ve said or done would\u2019ve changed that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Becket, that\u2019s really wise. I\u2019ve had parents call me and say, \u201cMy child just came out. I need you to meet with them and talk them out of this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>No! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right! It puts me in a spot; because I\u2019m saying, \u201cI don\u2019t think that I\u2019m the one. I\u2019d be happy to sit down and talk with them and tell them that Jesus loves them\/tell them who they are in Christ; but I don\u2019t think I\u2019m going to be the one that just, within one session together, they\u2019re going to say, \u2018Oh, I guess I\u2019m not gay.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I was moving in with that boyfriend that I met in Tokyo; I was going to move in with him. I think some of my siblings were going to stage an intervention and try to stop me; because I was going to move to Austin from Dallas. I just remember thinking, \u201cWhat?! You can\u2019t stop me from moving!\u201d Thankfully, they didn\u2019t try to do that, because that would\u2019ve been <em>really<\/em> hurtful and painful for everyone involved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell the story of my sister-in-law, who was kind of the epitome of what I see as a Christian who gets it. She knew that I knew she believed it was a sin; I mean, it was unequivocal. But she always hung out with me. Every time I would come back to Dallas from LA, she would want to get together for coffee. I would talk about guys; she would talk about God. But she never pulled her Bible out and said, \u201cBecket, you know you\u2019re still sinning; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did two things: she loved me unconditionally for years, and years, and years; and she prayed for me without ceasing. She prayed Acts 26:18 over me\u2014it cuts off in the middle of a verse\u2014verse 18 says, \u201c\u2026to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that prayer\u2019s been answered; hasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking of the number of parents I\u2019ve talked to\/the number you guys have talked to\u2014to try to maintain a Christ-like, loving demeanor when, emotionally, you\u2019ve just gotten punched in the gut\u2014may be one of the most challenging assignments any parent every faces. This is where we\u2019ve got to, in that moment, cry out to God to respond as Jesus responded to the woman caught in adultery: \u201cI don\u2019t condemn you.\u201d And pray for the day when you can say, \u201cGo, and sin no more,\u201d in the right moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey already know\u2014your kids know\u2014they know what you believe. You don\u2019t have to reinforce that; it\u2019s not like that\u2019s a surprise to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes, and I don\u2019t want to minimize what parents are going through. I talk about this in my book, because <em>it is<\/em> a punch in the gut; it is <em>harsh<\/em>. I\u2019m not a parent; I can\u2019t <em>imagine<\/em> being a Christian parent and having your child come out to you. It\u2019s like all your hopes and dreams\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving what you thought would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your book is so helpful because it provides, not only your story, but the kind of insight we\u2019re talking about here. I think a lot of parents\/a lot of people are going to want to read your book. It\u2019s called <em>A Change of Affection: A Gay Man\u2019s Incredible Story of Redemption.<\/em> We\u2019ve got copies of Becket\u2019s book in our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Resource Center. You can order your copy when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of Becket Cook\u2019s book, <em>A Change of Affection.<\/em> Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to order your copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese kinds of dialogues\/this kind of interaction that we have each day on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014our goal is to help effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014we believe that godly marriages and families are key to the survival of a culture. We can change the world through godly marriages and families; that\u2019s our conviction, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You, as a listener, make this possible when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> financially. We\u2019re listener-supported; today\u2019s program happened because some of your fellow listeners made this conversation available to all of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to ask you, if you\u2019re a regular listener: \u201cWill you invest in the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> so that others can be impacted by what they hear on this program?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we would love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a copy of a book I\u2019ve written recently called <em>Love Like You Mean It.<\/em> It takes a deep look at \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 13 and applies that biblical portrait of love to a marriage relationship so that our marriages can have the kind of love for one another that the Bible describes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It,<\/em> is our thank-you gift to you when you make a donation today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and request your copy of the book when you donate. And thank you for standing with us; thank you for your support. On behalf of your fellow listeners, thank you for making future programs possible through your donations today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear about a conversation that took place in a coffee shop that was revolutionary in Becket Cook\u2019s life. He explains how that conversation happened and what the results were when he joins us tomorrow. I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:24:37"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.54M"],"filesize_raw":["23632667"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306335.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306335.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Cook tells how his Christian parents reacted when he finally came out to his family, and advises parents on what to do when their son or daughter comes out as being gay.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a teenager growing up in Texas, Becket Cook began experiencing an unwelcome desire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I started to sense that I was attracted to the same sex; that was kind of an odd sensation, because it was very much frowned upon. I had to lead this double life and had to keep this a deep, dark secret. I was very social and very popular in school\u2014in elementary school and high school\u2014but I had this secret life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. How did Becket Cook process this unwelcome desire he was experiencing? How did he handle all of that? We\u2019ll find out from him today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the verses of Scripture\u2014I\u2019ve been thinking about this as I was thinking about our conversation today\/a verse that I come back to that I really love\u2014this is from 1 Peter, Chapter 2, where Peter describes who we are in Christ. He says, \u201cYou\u2019re a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.\u201d I was thinking about that, because we\u2019re going to hear a darkness-to-light story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s an inspiring story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That passage is the epitome of what happens in a person\u2019s life\u2014from darkness to light\u2014it isn\u2019t a little bit; it\u2019s absolute old life\/new life. The story today is inspiring in that regard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Becket Cook is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome, Becket. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I read your story of your conversion online. I think it was on The Gospel Coalition website. I was like, \u201cThis is an <em>amazing<\/em> story.\u201d Everybody\u2019s conversion is an amazing story; because all of us, dead in our trespasses and sins, made alive in Christ. Yours was a unique journey because it involved you being engaged in Hollywood and the entertainment industry, living for years as a gay man. Then, a providential encounter\u2014I was going to say a chance encounter\u2014but a providential encounter at a coffee shop, where you heard the gospel for the first time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s go back to you growing up as a kid in Dallas, one of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014one of eight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014eight kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I grew up in a large Catholic family. We were very devout Catholics; I went to Catholic schools my whole life. But at a very early age, I started to sense that I was attracted to the same sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Early? How early?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Probably sixth\/seventh grade, maybe? That was an odd sensation, because it was very much frowned upon. I kind of had to lead this double life and had to keep this a deep, dark secret. I was very social and very popular in school\u2014in elementary school and high school\u2014but I had this secret life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you hadn\u2019t told anyone about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>I told, actually, a childhood friend that I had known since we were babies basically; our mothers were best friends. He was aware of it; but I didn\u2019t really get to kind of the next level until high school, when I befriended someone who became my best friend in high school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne night we were out, and we basically came out to each other at this club in Dallas. There were gay people there; there were straight people there; there were transgender people there. My best friend and I came out to each other. That\u2019s when I really felt like, \u201cOkay; now I can really confide in somebody.\u201d We explored gay culture together. We went to gay bars; I was 15 years old, going to gay bars. I don\u2019t know how we got in; he was 14. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Fifteen? Your parents had no idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; because I was the youngest of eight, and they\u2019d lost track. [Laughter] Little did they know I was going to these clubs and bars. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going to the Stark Club, for example\u2014or to a gay bar for the first time\u2014and just feeling like: \u201cWow. These are my people! These people get who I am. They have the same feelings I have.\u201d It was this huge eye-opening experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Had you started acting out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, that started at 12 or 13?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; started in like\u2014probably seventh grade, I was acting out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019d had an experience, where you had been sexually abused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; I think I was in fifth grade. I had spent the night at a friend\u2019s house. I had spent the night at his house before several times; but this one particular night, I was asleep in the guest room. In the middle of the night, I woke up; and his father was molesting me. I remember it being <em>very<\/em> scary. I thought that, if he saw that I was awake, he was going to stab me with a knife\u2014that was like the first thought. He ended up leaving the room. He came back, and I was sitting up in bed. He made up some weird excuse and then left the room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t tell my parents, which I wish I had done; my dad was a lawyer, and he would\u2019ve gone after this guy. I didn\u2019t tell them because I knew that, if I did, there would be so much shame and stigma if it got out. I never thought that it was that big of a deal to me\u2014it was <em>that<\/em> night\u2014but I just thought, afterwards, \u201cWell, that happened; and it\u2019s not really going to have an impact on my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Now, as a man, you look back and think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Oh, yes. Now I look back, and I\u2019m like, \u201cWow; that had a <em>huge<\/em> impact on my life.\u201d It really damaged me in <em>so many ways<\/em>, emotionally. What sexual abuse does, I think in almost all cases, is it makes you very promiscuous. I was very promiscuous; so I think that sexual abuse has that effect on people, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so interesting when I hear this, because my mom\u2019s heart gets worried and thinks\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cNo slumber parties for my kids for the rest of their\u2026\u201d; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s the thing\u2014you cannot trust anyone. Slumber parties are dangerous, because you never know what can happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you were a dad today, your kids wouldn\u2019t go to a slumber party. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Never; no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting\u2014Ann, as we were raising our three boys, she was that mom\u2014like: \u201cWe\u2019re not letting them sleep over.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Part of it was because I have sexual abuse in my background. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cIt\u2019s not just some weirdo; it\u2019s people that you <em>know<\/em>\u201d; and it\u2019s relatives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You [Dave] felt like, \u201cYou need to trust people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and I was na\u00efve; I really was! Again, my wife was right. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Again, yet <em>again<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Finally, I\u2019m right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But it\u2019s <em>so hard<\/em>. You know that, as parents, because all of the other kids are going to the slumber party, and your kid can\u2019t? And how do you explain that to whoever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014even your kid!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My kids were <em>mad<\/em> at me; they think I\u2019m ridiculous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>They probably would\u00a0 still say, \u201cMom, you were a little ridiculous about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By the same token\u2014the fact that you\u2019re 15, and sneaking out to gay bars, and staying out until all hours of the night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014until five in the morning sometimes\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014on school nights! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>What?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And your parents didn\u2019t <em>know<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I remember one night I was out at the Stark Club until five in the morning. This was my senior year of high school or junior year. I came home; and I snuck in the front door, and my dad was coming downstairs to get ready to go to work. He just looked at me\u2014didn\u2019t say a word\u2014and just walked to the kitchen, and I walked to my bedroom. We never said a word about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have you talked with your parents about <em>that<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014those days. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> My parents are physically with Christ right now; they died in 2015, six months apart. About eight years ago\/seven years ago, I had dinner with my dad. He had\/they had already known. My brother that\u2019s closest in age to me\u2014he knew about this whole thing back when it happened\u2014I told him. He told my whole family when I moved to LA and I came out; he told my family about that night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI sat my dad down and I said, \u201cDad, I want to explain to you what happened that night.\u201d I told him <em>every<\/em> detail of the story; I told him <em>exactly<\/em> what happened. I said, \u201cDad, if I had told you at the time, what would you have done?\u201d He goes, \u201cI would\u2019ve given him two choices: either turn himself in, or\u2026.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What did that make you feel when he said that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> That\u2019s the thing\u2014that\u2019s one of the things I <em>feared<\/em>. Another thing I feared, telling them at the time, was I was afraid my dad was going to completely lose it and go kill this guy. My dad would go to prison; we would be raised without a father, and I would be \u201cresponsible.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You had the whole scenario in your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; so that\u2019s why. Basically, he admitted that\u2019s what would\u2019ve happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly what you thought; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had planned to go to medical school and\/or law school; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; I was pre-med in college. After I graduated\u2014which was a shame\u2014I realized I didn\u2019t want to be a physician. In the meantime, I applied to law school and dental school. I already had the pre-requirements for dental school. I got into Baylor dental school in Dallas, and I got into SMU law school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I moved to Tokyo for a year, because I was totally freaked out. I was like: \u201cWhat am I going to do with my life? I don\u2019t want to be a doctor. I don\u2019t want to be a dentist. I don\u2019t want to be a lawyer. What do I do?\u201d I moved to Japan with my best friend from college, and we lived in Tokyo.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then I ended up scrapping all of that\u2014the lawyer\/dentist thing. My dad was a lawyer, so he was super bummed out when I told him. I had my classes; I was enrolled in law school\u2014I had my first semester of classes. I said, \u201cDad, I\u2019m moving to LA. I\u2019m not going to law school.\u201d He was like, \u201cHuh?\u201d Again, it was, \u201cWhatever; do whatever you want.\u201d I loaded up my car and moved to LA the next day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, is this a pattern in your life?\u2014of being\u2014 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you [Dave] the counselor now? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No; I mean, it sounds like: \u201cI had this idea,\u201d and \u201c\u2026this idea,\u201d and \u201cAt the last minute\u2026.\u201d I mean, was that something you normally did? Or were you like, \u201cI know what I\u2019m going to do,\u201d and this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; my pattern in my life, growing up, was I was always super focused on school. I was very social, but I always <em>loved<\/em> doing my homework. I <em>loved<\/em> getting good grades\u2014I was very focused on that\u2014I wasn\u2019t all over the place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which is interesting; you were also dating girls, even in high school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; in high school, I went steady with three different girls. I remember one girl in particular\u2014we\u2019re really close still\u2014one night, we were making out. She was like, \u201cBecket, are you gay?\u201d I think she was surprised I didn\u2019t try to make more moves on her. She was like, \u201cAre you gay?\u201d I was like, \u201cNo, no; what are you talking about?\u201d I denied it, denied it, denied it. I did date girls, but it was mostly for the social purposes of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In that moment, where she is saying, \u201cYou can tell me,\u201d didn\u2019t you want to tell somebody?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I already had my best friend in high school that I was telling, so I didn\u2019t really need to tell <em>her<\/em>. I knew that it was embarrassing; you know, it was embarrassing to tell her, because we were dating; so I didn\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you not want to tell the world, at some level?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No, I did not; because in high school, and somewhat in college, I felt like my same-sex attraction was sort of like a phase I was going through. I never really saw it as a permanent thing of my life. I always thought, \u201cI\u2019ll eventually get married to a woman, and we\u2019ll have a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t until after Tokyo\u2014my roommate\u2019s friend from Texas came to visit us for a week, and we ended up falling in love. That was the first time I was really in a relationship with a guy. After that happened, that\u2019s when I felt like I came out to everyone; I came out to my family\/ my friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There was no turning back, you thought, at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> There was no turning back. I finally felt like, \u201cThis is definitely who I am. This is immutable. This is never going to change, and I don\u2019t even want it to change.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> At that point, though, are you celebrating this? Are you excited, \u201cThis is who I am\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and is there any fear or shame in it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s 1992, so it\u2019s not like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s still pretty early.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014there\u2019s still a stigma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Still a stigma. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s at the middle or the end of the whole AIDS crisis happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes; it was a scary time, because it was <em>very<\/em> dangerous. I guess I was so \u201cin love,\u201d that I just didn\u2019t care. I was like, \u201cThis is who I am; take it or leave it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy parents\u2019 reaction was so brilliant; they were so kind of cool about it\u2014not in a\u2014my parents believed it was a sin; they were very much opposed to it. All of my siblings were Christians; and they believed it was a sin, too. But my mother cried when I got back from Tokyo; she started crying in the kitchen. I said, \u201cMom, what\u2019s wrong?\u201d She said, \u201cOh, Becket, I heard you were a homosexual.\u201d I said, \u201cMom, it\u2019s okay. This is who I am. It\u2019s not a big deal; don\u2019t worry; I\u2019m fine.\u201d She calmed down after that and was super loving and amazing my whole life after that. She always was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2014I didn\u2019t know how he was going to react. I drove up the driveway one day, and he came up and drove right in after me. He came up to me; he\u2019s like, \u201cHey, Beck; so I heard you\u2019re a homosexual. Are you mad at me about anything?\u201d \u201cDid I do anything wrong as a father?\u201d \u201cAre you mad at me about not protecting you from your brother, Peter, beating you up?\u2014you guys fighting all the time.\u201d I remember saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not your fault; this is just who I am.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey weren\u2019t supportive of my being gay\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They loved you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> \u2014but they were supportive of me, and they <em>loved<\/em> me. Their reaction was really nice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> From your perspective today\u2014as a guy who has come to faith in Christ, who looks back on this and identifies it as sin, who is living celibately today\u2014talk to parents, who have a 22-year-old, who comes home from college and days, \u201cHey, Mom\/Dad; sit down. I\u2019ve got to talk to you.\u201d They\u2019ve wondered for awhile if something was going on, and now their son or daughter is coming out. What\u2019s your coaching to those parents?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Well, I go into this in my book about\u2014there\u2019s a whole section on what to do\/what not to do. This is the thing\u2014when a child comes out to their parents, it\u2019s one of the most important moments in that person\u2019s life; it\u2019s something you <em>never<\/em> forget. You never forget that moment when you come out. I always say, \u201cEveryone needs to have grace and be calm. Don\u2019t fly off the handle. Don\u2019t freak out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is the problem\u2014when you\u2019re growing up gay, you have years and years to wrestle with it and to come to terms with it. When you come out, you expect your parents to automatically be on the same page. A lot of people don\u2019t give their parents the grace to mourn, and grieve, and go through all that; so kids need to give their parents grace. Parents need to go into a closet and cry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe parents\u2019 reaction is <em>so<\/em> important\u2014for parents to have a loving reaction to it rather than fly off the handle, and go into some sort of rage, and start quoting Bible verses; that is not helpful in that situation. The only thing, in my opinion, that is helpful is for a parent to just listen and to love their child unconditionally, regardless of what\u2019s going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The parent who\u2019s concerned that, \u201cIf that\u2019s what I demonstrate, the child is going to think that I\u2019m okay with their gayness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> No; I mean, I <em>knew<\/em> my parents weren\u2019t okay with it; they made it clear. I think parents should make that\/obviously, if that\u2019s not clear, they need to make that clear first. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can\u2019t badger or bludgeon your child into the kingdom of God; that\u2019s not going to work. You can\u2019t beat them over the head with a Bible and say, \u201cWell, look at this Scripture! Look at this!\u201d If my parents had done that with me, there\u2019s <em>nothing<\/em> they could have done to stop me from being the prodigal; there\u2019s absolutely nothing. I was on this trajectory, and nothing they could\u2019ve said or done would\u2019ve changed that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Becket, that\u2019s really wise. I\u2019ve had parents call me and say, \u201cMy child just came out. I need you to meet with them and talk them out of this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket: <\/strong>No! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right! It puts me in a spot; because I\u2019m saying, \u201cI don\u2019t think that I\u2019m the one. I\u2019d be happy to sit down and talk with them and tell them that Jesus loves them\/tell them who they are in Christ; but I don\u2019t think I\u2019m going to be the one that just, within one session together, they\u2019re going to say, \u2018Oh, I guess I\u2019m not gay.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> I was moving in with that boyfriend that I met in Tokyo; I was going to move in with him. I think some of my siblings were going to stage an intervention and try to stop me; because I was going to move to Austin from Dallas. I just remember thinking, \u201cWhat?! You can\u2019t stop me from moving!\u201d Thankfully, they didn\u2019t try to do that, because that would\u2019ve been <em>really<\/em> hurtful and painful for everyone involved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell the story of my sister-in-law, who was kind of the epitome of what I see as a Christian who gets it. She knew that I knew she believed it was a sin; I mean, it was unequivocal. But she always hung out with me. Every time I would come back to Dallas from LA, she would want to get together for coffee. I would talk about guys; she would talk about God. But she never pulled her Bible out and said, \u201cBecket, you know you\u2019re still sinning; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe did two things: she loved me unconditionally for years, and years, and years; and she prayed for me without ceasing. She prayed Acts 26:18 over me\u2014it cuts off in the middle of a verse\u2014verse 18 says, \u201c\u2026to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that prayer\u2019s been answered; hasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking of the number of parents I\u2019ve talked to\/the number you guys have talked to\u2014to try to maintain a Christ-like, loving demeanor when, emotionally, you\u2019ve just gotten punched in the gut\u2014may be one of the most challenging assignments any parent every faces. This is where we\u2019ve got to, in that moment, cry out to God to respond as Jesus responded to the woman caught in adultery: \u201cI don\u2019t condemn you.\u201d And pray for the day when you can say, \u201cGo, and sin no more,\u201d in the right moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey already know\u2014your kids know\u2014they know what you believe. You don\u2019t have to reinforce that; it\u2019s not like that\u2019s a surprise to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> Yes, and I don\u2019t want to minimize what parents are going through. I talk about this in my book, because <em>it is<\/em> a punch in the gut; it is <em>harsh<\/em>. I\u2019m not a parent; I can\u2019t <em>imagine<\/em> being a Christian parent and having your child come out to you. It\u2019s like all your hopes and dreams\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving what you thought would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Becket:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Your book is so helpful because it provides, not only your story, but the kind of insight we\u2019re talking about here. I think a lot of parents\/a lot of people are going to want to read your book. It\u2019s called <em>A Change of Affection: A Gay Man\u2019s Incredible Story of Redemption.<\/em> We\u2019ve got copies of Becket\u2019s book in our FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Resource Center. You can order your copy when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of Becket Cook\u2019s book, <em>A Change of Affection.<\/em> Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to order your copy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese kinds of dialogues\/this kind of interaction that we have each day on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014our goal is to help effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014we believe that godly marriages and families are key to the survival of a culture. We can change the world through godly marriages and families; that\u2019s our conviction, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. You, as a listener, make this possible when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> financially. We\u2019re listener-supported; today\u2019s program happened because some of your fellow listeners made this conversation available to all of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to ask you, if you\u2019re a regular listener: \u201cWill you invest in the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> so that others can be impacted by what they hear on this program?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation today, we would love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a copy of a book I\u2019ve written recently called <em>Love Like You Mean It.<\/em> It takes a deep look at \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 13 and applies that biblical portrait of love to a marriage relationship so that our marriages can have the kind of love for one another that the Bible describes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It,<\/em> is our thank-you gift to you when you make a donation today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and request your copy of the book when you donate. And thank you for standing with us; thank you for your support. On behalf of your fellow listeners, thank you for making future programs possible through your donations today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us, again, tomorrow. We\u2019re going to hear about a conversation that took place in a coffee shop that was revolutionary in Becket Cook\u2019s life. He explains how that conversation happened and what the results were when he joins us tomorrow. I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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