{"id":306330,"date":"2020-08-14T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-08-14T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values\/"},"modified":"2020-08-14T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-08-14T11:00:05","slug":"two-homes-two-sets-of-values","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Homes, Two Sets of Values"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>After her parent&#8217;s divorce, Melody Fabien was hearing one thing about relationships from her mom, and something very different from her dad who had recently come to Christ. She tells her story to Ron Deal from the FamilyLife Blended\u00ae Podcast.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-14.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:52","filesize":"26.44M","filesize_raw":"27722675","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2888,2894],"tags":[4033,6623],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9608,3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306330","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-multiple-home-realities","category-stepfamily-living","tag-divorce","tag-stepfamily-living","cwp_profile-melody-fabien","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306330\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306330\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"qQN3Th65zO\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values\/\">Two Homes, Two Sets of Values<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-homes-two-sets-of-values\/embed\/#?secret=qQN3Th65zO\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Two Homes, Two Sets of Values&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"qQN3Th65zO\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-14.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-14.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a teenager, Melody Fabien became convinced that she should wait to have sex until she was married. When she broke the news to her mother, she was surprised by how her mom responded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I go, \u201cMom, I\u2019m going to wait!\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s so cute. Sweetheart, you really think a man\u2019s going to wait for you?\u201d and I was crushed. She just said, \u201cSweetheart, one in a million\u2014one in a million\u2014you\u2019re going to find a man that\u2019s going to wait for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What\u2019s it like for a young person to grow up with a mom and a dad, who are divorced, who have different values, and who don\u2019t share <em>your<\/em> values? We\u2019re going to hear about that from Melody Fabien today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the treasures we have here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014is Dave Wilson. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was not what I was <em>immediately<\/em> thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, oh; sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s certainly <em>true<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You weren\u2019t, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t what initially came to mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I wasn\u2019t thinking that either. I was thinking, \u201cAnn Wilson.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, sure you were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking of our mutual friend, Ron Deal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, he\u2019s good too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who is a great\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014treasure; he really is. For families in our culture today to have Ron\u2014and to have his voice and to have his podcast\/his <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> podcast, which is helping so many people, who are in blended families\/blended marriages\u2014I just am so grateful for his wisdom and for the issues that he\u2019s addressing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to make sure our listeners\u2014if you\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> heard Ron\u2019s podcast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That means it\u2019s <em>buried<\/em> treasure. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is <em>good<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He really is amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s information about the podcast there and listen to\u2014he\u2019s got dozens of episodes available. Again, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019re going to hear a couple of excerpts from a recent episode he did with a mutual friend of ours, Melody Fabien. She and her husband, CD, speak at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways all across the country. They\u2019ve got a <em>great<\/em> story of their engagement and their wedding because, I think\u2014isn\u2019t this right?\u2014they didn\u2019t kiss until they got married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s a great story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re a great couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ron talked with Melody recently about growing up as a child of divorce. Her mom and dad were not together. What she found was that there were different values in different homes, and that was hard for her. In his conversation with her, Ron picked up on that issue and went deep with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Is that confusing to you, having very different climates\/very different emotional rules about how we do life between your two households?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes; I remember knowing that things were very different in many ways: emotions are different; how you express yourself is different. Then I get saved at around 12\/13, and my dad gets saved when I\u2019m 14. Then it was <em>real<\/em> different. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom was serving the Lord at first, and then she stepped away. That was really hard, because I was just going to church by myself. I had this interest in God, which was totally God that I had this interest in Him at such a young age. I went to church, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019m doing this church thing anymore.\u201d Thank God for praying youth pastors. This youth pastor comes to me\u2014Chris\u2014and he says, \u201cMelody, I\u2019ve been praying for you,\u201d and \u201cI got this vision of you running a race, and everyone around you stopped running; but you didn\u2019t. I just want to encourage you to keep running,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like, \u201cOh my goodness, that\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what I\u2019m going through.\u201d I was the only one in my house going to church. He\u2019s like, \u201cMelody, God has called you for the ministry.\u201d I was like, \u201cWow, that\u2019s so cool! What is that?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because I have <em>no<\/em> clue; we were not raised in church. This was all new. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom picks me up from church, \u201cHow\u2019s church?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cSo great, Mom! I\u2019m going to be a missionary.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cWho told you that?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cPastor Chris.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to be a missionary; they don\u2019t make any money.\u201d I was like, \u201cOh, I don\u2019t want to be a missionary.\u201d That was my life\u2014I\u2019d get one message at home; one message at church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen Dad gets saved; and he\u2019s like, \u201cI found the truth; it\u2019s Jesus.\u201d And he goes off into all these fatherhood books. He\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to win my child\u2019s heart.\u201d Now, he\u2019s having this one-on-one time with us\u2014discipling us\/opening the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is difficult now; because in Mom\u2019s house, there were rules. Education is very important; but we could\u2014I could have a boyfriend at 12 and 13 as long it\u2019s the boy visits me in my house, supervised kind of a thing. My dad is having a heart attack, like, \u201cHow can your mother let you date?! You\u2019re only 13!\u201d\u2014you know? I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, Dad, Mom thinks it\u2019s fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe knew: \u201cOh my goodness! I have no control of what is happening in my daughter\u2019s house, so I\u2019m going to have to up my prayer game,\u201d and \u201cI have to go into more of a mentoring\/influencer type relationship with my children.\u201d That really helped. He would ask me very probing questions that I just don\u2019t think my mom and my stepdad knew how to do. They weren\u2019t serving the Lord, so we did not have that common ground. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was another source of pain because, now, Mom sees me really getting close to my dad. I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, I don\u2019t want this to be a competition. I love Dad; I love you.\u201d \u201cBut you\u2019re so close to him.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI know, because we\u2019re connected, spiritually.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, at 16, I get this new biblical idea that it is the will of God to abstain. I go, \u201cMom, I\u2019m going to wait!\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s so cute,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cSweetheart, you really think a man\u2019s going to wait for you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I was crushed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> She just said, \u201cSweetheart, one in a million\u2014one in a million\u2014you\u2019re going to find a man that\u2019s going to wait for you.\u201d I remember going into my room, and start crying and praying, and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t get it; I thought she would be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like a whole month that we had teachings [at church] on purity, and relationships, and dating. Then at the end of the month, we were going to get a ring; and we were going to make a commitment. My mom is like, \u201cIs this a cult?\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhat-is-this?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay, we\u2019re laughing right now; because it\u2019s kind of funny\u2014and looking back, and you\u2014but I\u2019ve just got to pause and say, \u201cYou must have been terribly confused. You must have\u2014it must have been pulling you in two.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Absolutely; I want to say it was one of the most painful months of my life. Now, there\u2019s restoration; and my mom has apologized <em>profusely<\/em> for that season; but she didn\u2019t get it; she didn\u2019t understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat kind of broke it all was we went shopping to get a\u2014we had to wear a white summer dress or a light beige outfit, representing purity. She\u2019s just like, \u201cWhat is this? This is so weird; you have to wear white. Is this a cult?\u201d and all this stuff. She bought the dress. It\u2019s like my mom didn\u2019t support it, but she did go along with me. She\u2019s like, \u201cFine, fine; we\u2019ll get this dress. I\u2019ll go. I don\u2019t really want to go, but I\u2019ll go to the ceremony,\u201d\u2014you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get home, and I can\u2019t find the dress. [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, can I get the car keys? I think I left the dress in the car.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cOkay.\u201d I cannot find it anywhere. I\u2019m like, \u201cThe devil stole my dress!\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like 16, like, \u201cEverything is against me!\u201d There was such warfare around me making this decision. But I remember going inside; she was there with my aunt, which is my stepdad\u2019s sister. I said, \u201cMom, I cannot find this dress.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like, \u201cWhat?! Did you leave it at the store?!\u201d I\u2019m like [emotion in voice], \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d I start crying. My aunt is like, \u201cWhat is this dress for?\u201d \u201cMy daughter\u2019s marrying God.\u201d I\u2019m like [emotion in voice], \u201cI\u2019m <em>not<\/em> marrying God,\u201d and start crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Oh, my goodness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody: <\/strong>Mom doesn\u2019t want to see me cry. Now, she\u2019s seeing me cry and she\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cMelody, not everyone is going to believe what you believe.\u201d I said, \u201cI know that. I just want you to be happy for me!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t wait; so I don\u2019t know what makes you think you can.\u201d [Pause] I felt like that was it\u2014that was the big lie she was holding in her right hand. By the grace of God, I said, \u201cMom, I have a relationship with Jesus, and He is going to help me do this.\u201d It\u2019s almost like it shut the argument down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to my room; and I felt the Holy Spirit say, \u201cYou just go get any dress in your closet. It is not about your dress; it is about your heart.\u201d I had my little minty blue dress that next day. My mom went, reluctantly. The pastor said, \u201cYou know, we\u2019ve been talking to your kids this whole month. Today, I want to talk to the parents.\u201d He said, \u201cYou should be so proud of your kids.\u201d And he goes on and on about why the parents should be so happy. H said, \u201cYou know, I really sense\u2014I would like the parents to put the rings on their children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go to the front altar with my ring. My dad decided, \u201cNo, Judy [Melody\u2019s mom], you go ahead. Go ahead.\u201d [Laughter] I don\u2019t know who\u2019s going to come; right? I\u2019m in front; I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on behind me! Then my mom comes and I\u2019m like, \u201cAw.\u201d At this point, my tears are starting to come down. My mom has been making fun of me for the <em>whole month<\/em>; and now, she has to put my ring on me. She\u2019s standing next to me and he [pastor] says, \u201cParents, please come in front of your children. Look them in the eye and tell them how proud you are of them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I\u2019m laughing now, but I was <em>bawling<\/em>; I am <em>bawling<\/em>. My mom is the sweetest short little Puerto Rican lady; she\u2019s like, \u201cStop crying.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon, I saw a miracle. She looked at me; and then she took a step back, as if this veil came off of her. She looked at me again; and she said, \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you! I don\u2019t even know why I was saying those things.\u201d It was beautiful. She said, \u201cI didn\u2019t have this when I was your age,\u201d and \u201cI wish I did,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to step in here. We\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from a recent episode of Ron Deal\u2019s podcast, <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. Ron is talking to Melody Fabien, who speaks with her husband, CD, at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a dilemma for a young teenager to have\u2014a parent encouraging you to have sex with your boyfriend\u2014I mean, can you imagine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I can\u2019t imagine the dilemma that she was facing. Even as she\u2019s describing the purity ceremony, I\u2019m getting teary of what I hear\u2014is she really needed her mom\u2019s approval.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And yet, how beautiful that the veil comes down. I love the way it was described, as God can do a miracle, and He did. He does it in blended families; He does it in bio families. He can be trusted, so never\/never lose hope. God is there; He sees you. He\u2019s going to show up in a way you don\u2019t expect it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s another clip I want us to listen to; and by the way, again, this podcast is available for download. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and listen to Ron Deal\u2019s <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast\u2014this episode with Melody Fabien or any of the episodes in the podcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon and Melody talked about the dilemma she faced, as a teenager, going back and forth from one home to another; and in some cases, being the messenger between mom and dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> If I was sitting here with your dad right now\u2014talking to your biological father about this season of your life and all he was trying to do\u2014you talked about how he went into a mentoring mode\/a discipling mode with you\u2014was very intentional about that\u2014and I were to say to him, \u201cMan, obviously, you stepped up your game; and you were really being intentional with your daughter. Yet, you knew there was a competing message in the other home. How did you cope with that?\u201d What do you think your dad would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody: <\/strong>You know, I know he would say he had to enter a huge place of faith for his kids. People would say, \u201cJames, you can\u2019t control what\u2019s happening over there. Your kids are just going to do what they\u2019re going to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just refused\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no. I\u2019m going to pray for them. I\u2019m going to teach them. I believe that God\u2019s Word doesn\u2019t return void. I\u2019m going to fight for this.\u201d He had this real tenacity to believe God. It wasn\u2019t like he was calling my mom, like, \u201cYou better stop!\u201d He had a very\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m going to pray.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember there being a point, where he just, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight your mom.\u201d But we were often [hearing]: \u201cTell your dad\u2026\u201d \u201cTell your mom\u2026\u201d\u2014which was not easy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, do you mind unpacking that just a little bit?\u2014just emotionally. Where did that leave you when one side made you the messenger to the other side?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes, it wasn\u2019t easy; because I\u2019d have to be like, \u201cOh, Mom says this,\u201d or \u201cMy dad said this.\u201d I think, for sure, for big decisions like graduation, college, they would talk very quickly on the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mom kind of grew up, too, like divorce was kind of taboo; \u201cSo let\u2019s just\u2026\u201d She didn\u2019t like when there were movies, where the divorced families are all eating dinner. She was like, \u201cWhat?! No! That is so weird.\u201d I do remember that; I do remember her being, \u201cWe will not be that kind of family. That's just weird to me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d be, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s the way it is.\u201d So we did not have birthdays together; we did not have holidays together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It would\u2019ve been okay with <em>you<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I think <em>so<\/em>. I probably would\u2019ve felt super weird, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014having stepparents in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> The time that that had to happen was my wedding; that\u2019s when it went down. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] Did it go down well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> You know, it did. There were some tense moments; I\u2019ll share one. My dad\u2014it\u2019s like he had amnesia or something; because I\u2019m like, \u201cDad, I have a great stepfather,\u201d and \u201cI do want to acknowledge him at my wedding, so I would like to dance with both of you. I would like <em>you<\/em> to walk me down the aisle, but I would like my stepfather to be in the front so that he\u2019s also present with my mom.\u201d He didn\u2019t like that idea at first. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I was taken aback; I was like, \u201cAre you serious?!\u201d He\u2019s just like, \u201cBut why?!\u201d \u201cHe <em>raised<\/em> me since I was five!\u201d I just\u2014I was not expecting that; that was <em>really<\/em> painful for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank God for my husband and his wisdom. He met my dad for coffee\u2014he said, \u201cListen, I know this is very painful, even though it\u2019s 23 years ago. This is our big day. She wants to honor <em>both<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was like, \u201cI know he\u2019s a good man, but I\u2019ve got to share <em>again<\/em>?\u201d You know, it\u2019s just that <em>reopening<\/em> of the wound; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019s got to get honored <em>too<\/em>\u201d; you know? He\u2019s [fianc\u00e9] like, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> There\u2019s a message for our listener. A separated family\u2014you walk it out day after day after day; children walk it out every single day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It is <em>never<\/em> in the past. \u201cOkay, let\u2019s just move on, embrace the new family, put the past behind us,\u201d\u2014you can't do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> You can\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014because the implications just continue to ripple out through life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWow, kudos to your husband for finding the courage to have that hard conversation with his future father-in-law.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That was a good move on his part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes, my dad received it; after that conversation, he said [sighing], \u201cOkay.\u201d It\u2019s almost like a reminder: \u201cHere we go again. Why am I going to fight? Why am I going to make this a big deal that is going to be painful for my daughter?\u201d I\u2019m thankful that I was able to honor both at my wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband, too\u2014like when he asked my parents for the blessing to marry me\u2014he met with my dad separately, then he met with my stepdad separately, man to man. My stepdad got very emotional and said, \u201cYou know, I love my stepdaughters; but I didn't feel the same kind of man, asking for the blessing the way you have. I really feel honor, and I want to thank you for doing that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well again, we\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from Ron Deal\u2019s conversation with Melody Fabien, part of the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast that\u2019s available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. The two things I\u2019m hearing as I listen to this conversation: first of all, I\u2019m hearing complexity. There\u2019s huge complexity when a family is divided: when kids are going back and forth, when mom and dad aren\u2019t together\/aren\u2019t on the same page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing I\u2019m hearing is redemption. I\u2019m hearing that God can work in those complex situations to do some <em>amazing<\/em> things. There can be some <em>breakthroughs<\/em> in families as people follow Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019re sort of wiping tears from our cheeks; aren\u2019t we? It\u2019s so tender\u2014and it\u2019s what you said, Bob\u2014it\u2019s like beauty from ashes. There\u2019s obviously hurt, and complexity, and misunderstanding. Yet, at the end of the day, God shows up and brings this beautiful moment; and legacy going forward from all of that that we just got to hear about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt gives you hope to think, \u201cOkay, even in my situation\u201d\u2014or in your situation\/whoever you are, listening\u2014\"God\u2019s there, and He can bring beauty.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s the Redeemer of our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, Melody talks in her interview with Ron\u2014in the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast\u2014she talks about what it was like, as a child, when she learned her parents were divorcing. I hope listeners will go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and listen to this episode of <em>FamilyLife Blended,<\/em> and <em>all<\/em> of the episodes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I was sharing with somebody this week about this podcast and said, \u201cYou need to sign up for this. This is something you need to be listening to regularly.\u201d All the information about the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast is available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have a heart for blended families, we\u2019ve got an event coming up\u2014it\u2019s our 2020 <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em>. It happens October 1<sup>st<\/sup> and 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. It is an online event this year; you can join us via livestream from anywhere in the world. Two full days of sessions and breakouts with speakers like Ron and Nan Deal, Kathi Lipp, Ted Lowe, Laura Petherbridge, Alicia La Hoz, Rob Bugh, many others. Find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019re a church leader, a pastor, or you just have a heart for blended families in your church or in your community, take part in the 2020 <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em>. It\u2019s a completely virtual online event this year. Find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today is the last day for me to let you know about a resource we\u2019ve been making available for the last few weeks. It\u2019s our \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great\u201d resource. It\u2019s a collection of video courses, some downloadable messages, a downloadable eBook\u2014all designed to help you strengthen the foundation of your marriage so that your marriage can persevere in challenging times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you download this content\u2014and again, today\u2019s the last day it\u2019s going to be available\u2014when you download, you automatically become eligible to win a trip to FamilyLife, where you can sit in on a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session and then go out to dinner with Dave and Ann Wilson when the recording session is over. We\u2019ll cover the cost of airfare for two of you to come; we\u2019ll cover your hotel room; we\u2019ll provide some spending money for the trip while you\u2019re here. No purchase necessary. Restrictions apply; official rules can be found at FamilyLife.com\/good-contest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe contest ends today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and access the \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great\u201d resource, and you\u2019re automatically entered in the contest to come join us, here, at FamilyLife. You\u2019ll get great content, and then somebody\u2019s going to be here for the recording session. We look forward to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd finally, we hope every <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener will get their hands on a copy of my new book, which is called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. I spent a long time diving into \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 13 and what the Bible has to say about what real love looks like. I thought, \u201cWhat would it look like if a marriage had this kind of love as the foundation instead of a superficial emotion-based kind of love?\u201d This book is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe depend on listener donations to be able to reach hundreds of thousands of people every day with practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. You make that possible when you donate; so if you can, go online today and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Be sure to ask for your copy of the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It,<\/em> as our thank-you gift. We\u2019re happy to send it to you, and we appreciate you. Thanks for your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are somehow able to worship together with your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back on Monday. You\u2019re going to hear a <em>great<\/em> story. Beckett Cook is going to join us to talk about what happened in his life 12 years ago when he heard and understood the gospel. The transformation was remarkable, especially since he was a same-sex attracted guy, living in Hollywood, in the movie industry. It\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> story. I hope you can tune in as we have a conversation with Beckett Cook on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend; we\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:52"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.44M"],"filesize_raw":["27722675"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306330.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306330.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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her parent's divorce, Melody Fabien was hearing one thing about relationships from her mom, and something very different from her dad who had recently come to Christ. She tells her story to Ron Deal from the FamilyLife Blended\u00ae Podcast.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a teenager, Melody Fabien became convinced that she should wait to have sex until she was married. When she broke the news to her mother, she was surprised by how her mom responded.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I go, \u201cMom, I\u2019m going to wait!\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s so cute. Sweetheart, you really think a man\u2019s going to wait for you?\u201d and I was crushed. She just said, \u201cSweetheart, one in a million\u2014one in a million\u2014you\u2019re going to find a man that\u2019s going to wait for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What\u2019s it like for a young person to grow up with a mom and a dad, who are divorced, who have different values, and who don\u2019t share <em>your<\/em> values? We\u2019re going to hear about that from Melody Fabien today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the treasures we have here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014is Dave Wilson. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That was not what I was <em>immediately<\/em> thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, oh; sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s certainly <em>true<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You weren\u2019t, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It wasn\u2019t what initially came to mind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I wasn\u2019t thinking that either. I was thinking, \u201cAnn Wilson.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, sure you were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking of our mutual friend, Ron Deal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, he\u2019s good too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who is a great\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014treasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014treasure; he really is. For families in our culture today to have Ron\u2014and to have his voice and to have his podcast\/his <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> podcast, which is helping so many people, who are in blended families\/blended marriages\u2014I just am so grateful for his wisdom and for the issues that he\u2019s addressing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to make sure our listeners\u2014if you\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> heard Ron\u2019s podcast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That means it\u2019s <em>buried<\/em> treasure. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is <em>good<\/em>!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He really is amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s information about the podcast there and listen to\u2014he\u2019s got dozens of episodes available. Again, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we\u2019re going to hear a couple of excerpts from a recent episode he did with a mutual friend of ours, Melody Fabien. She and her husband, CD, speak at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways all across the country. They\u2019ve got a <em>great<\/em> story of their engagement and their wedding because, I think\u2014isn\u2019t this right?\u2014they didn\u2019t kiss until they got married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right; that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s a great story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> They\u2019re a great couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ron talked with Melody recently about growing up as a child of divorce. Her mom and dad were not together. What she found was that there were different values in different homes, and that was hard for her. In his conversation with her, Ron picked up on that issue and went deep with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Is that confusing to you, having very different climates\/very different emotional rules about how we do life between your two households?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes; I remember knowing that things were very different in many ways: emotions are different; how you express yourself is different. Then I get saved at around 12\/13, and my dad gets saved when I\u2019m 14. Then it was <em>real<\/em> different. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy mom was serving the Lord at first, and then she stepped away. That was really hard, because I was just going to church by myself. I had this interest in God, which was totally God that I had this interest in Him at such a young age. I went to church, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019m doing this church thing anymore.\u201d Thank God for praying youth pastors. This youth pastor comes to me\u2014Chris\u2014and he says, \u201cMelody, I\u2019ve been praying for you,\u201d and \u201cI got this vision of you running a race, and everyone around you stopped running; but you didn\u2019t. I just want to encourage you to keep running,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like, \u201cOh my goodness, that\u2019s <em>exactly<\/em> what I\u2019m going through.\u201d I was the only one in my house going to church. He\u2019s like, \u201cMelody, God has called you for the ministry.\u201d I was like, \u201cWow, that\u2019s so cool! What is that?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014because I have <em>no<\/em> clue; we were not raised in church. This was all new. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom picks me up from church, \u201cHow\u2019s church?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cSo great, Mom! I\u2019m going to be a missionary.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cWho told you that?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cPastor Chris.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to be a missionary; they don\u2019t make any money.\u201d I was like, \u201cOh, I don\u2019t want to be a missionary.\u201d That was my life\u2014I\u2019d get one message at home; one message at church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen Dad gets saved; and he\u2019s like, \u201cI found the truth; it\u2019s Jesus.\u201d And he goes off into all these fatherhood books. He\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to win my child\u2019s heart.\u201d Now, he\u2019s having this one-on-one time with us\u2014discipling us\/opening the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is difficult now; because in Mom\u2019s house, there were rules. Education is very important; but we could\u2014I could have a boyfriend at 12 and 13 as long it\u2019s the boy visits me in my house, supervised kind of a thing. My dad is having a heart attack, like, \u201cHow can your mother let you date?! You\u2019re only 13!\u201d\u2014you know? I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, Dad, Mom thinks it\u2019s fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe knew: \u201cOh my goodness! I have no control of what is happening in my daughter\u2019s house, so I\u2019m going to have to up my prayer game,\u201d and \u201cI have to go into more of a mentoring\/influencer type relationship with my children.\u201d That really helped. He would ask me very probing questions that I just don\u2019t think my mom and my stepdad knew how to do. They weren\u2019t serving the Lord, so we did not have that common ground. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was another source of pain because, now, Mom sees me really getting close to my dad. I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, I don\u2019t want this to be a competition. I love Dad; I love you.\u201d \u201cBut you\u2019re so close to him.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI know, because we\u2019re connected, spiritually.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, at 16, I get this new biblical idea that it is the will of God to abstain. I go, \u201cMom, I\u2019m going to wait!\u201d She was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s so cute,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cSweetheart, you really think a man\u2019s going to wait for you?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I was crushed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> She just said, \u201cSweetheart, one in a million\u2014one in a million\u2014you\u2019re going to find a man that\u2019s going to wait for you.\u201d I remember going into my room, and start crying and praying, and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t get it; I thought she would be happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like a whole month that we had teachings [at church] on purity, and relationships, and dating. Then at the end of the month, we were going to get a ring; and we were going to make a commitment. My mom is like, \u201cIs this a cult?\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWhat-is-this?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Okay, we\u2019re laughing right now; because it\u2019s kind of funny\u2014and looking back, and you\u2014but I\u2019ve just got to pause and say, \u201cYou must have been terribly confused. You must have\u2014it must have been pulling you in two.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Absolutely; I want to say it was one of the most painful months of my life. Now, there\u2019s restoration; and my mom has apologized <em>profusely<\/em> for that season; but she didn\u2019t get it; she didn\u2019t understand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat kind of broke it all was we went shopping to get a\u2014we had to wear a white summer dress or a light beige outfit, representing purity. She\u2019s just like, \u201cWhat is this? This is so weird; you have to wear white. Is this a cult?\u201d and all this stuff. She bought the dress. It\u2019s like my mom didn\u2019t support it, but she did go along with me. She\u2019s like, \u201cFine, fine; we\u2019ll get this dress. I\u2019ll go. I don\u2019t really want to go, but I\u2019ll go to the ceremony,\u201d\u2014you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get home, and I can\u2019t find the dress. [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, can I get the car keys? I think I left the dress in the car.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cOkay.\u201d I cannot find it anywhere. I\u2019m like, \u201cThe devil stole my dress!\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like 16, like, \u201cEverything is against me!\u201d There was such warfare around me making this decision. But I remember going inside; she was there with my aunt, which is my stepdad\u2019s sister. I said, \u201cMom, I cannot find this dress.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like, \u201cWhat?! Did you leave it at the store?!\u201d I\u2019m like [emotion in voice], \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d I start crying. My aunt is like, \u201cWhat is this dress for?\u201d \u201cMy daughter\u2019s marrying God.\u201d I\u2019m like [emotion in voice], \u201cI\u2019m <em>not<\/em> marrying God,\u201d and start crying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron: <\/strong>Oh, my goodness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody: <\/strong>Mom doesn\u2019t want to see me cry. Now, she\u2019s seeing me cry and she\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cMelody, not everyone is going to believe what you believe.\u201d I said, \u201cI know that. I just want you to be happy for me!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t wait; so I don\u2019t know what makes you think you can.\u201d [Pause] I felt like that was it\u2014that was the big lie she was holding in her right hand. By the grace of God, I said, \u201cMom, I have a relationship with Jesus, and He is going to help me do this.\u201d It\u2019s almost like it shut the argument down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went to my room; and I felt the Holy Spirit say, \u201cYou just go get any dress in your closet. It is not about your dress; it is about your heart.\u201d I had my little minty blue dress that next day. My mom went, reluctantly. The pastor said, \u201cYou know, we\u2019ve been talking to your kids this whole month. Today, I want to talk to the parents.\u201d He said, \u201cYou should be so proud of your kids.\u201d And he goes on and on about why the parents should be so happy. H said, \u201cYou know, I really sense\u2014I would like the parents to put the rings on their children.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go to the front altar with my ring. My dad decided, \u201cNo, Judy [Melody\u2019s mom], you go ahead. Go ahead.\u201d [Laughter] I don\u2019t know who\u2019s going to come; right? I\u2019m in front; I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on behind me! Then my mom comes and I\u2019m like, \u201cAw.\u201d At this point, my tears are starting to come down. My mom has been making fun of me for the <em>whole month<\/em>; and now, she has to put my ring on me. She\u2019s standing next to me and he [pastor] says, \u201cParents, please come in front of your children. Look them in the eye and tell them how proud you are of them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I\u2019m laughing now, but I was <em>bawling<\/em>; I am <em>bawling<\/em>. My mom is the sweetest short little Puerto Rican lady; she\u2019s like, \u201cStop crying.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon, I saw a miracle. She looked at me; and then she took a step back, as if this veil came off of her. She looked at me again; and she said, \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you! I don\u2019t even know why I was saying those things.\u201d It was beautiful. She said, \u201cI didn\u2019t have this when I was your age,\u201d and \u201cI wish I did,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to step in here. We\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from a recent episode of Ron Deal\u2019s podcast, <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. Ron is talking to Melody Fabien, who speaks with her husband, CD, at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a dilemma for a young teenager to have\u2014a parent encouraging you to have sex with your boyfriend\u2014I mean, can you imagine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I can\u2019t imagine the dilemma that she was facing. Even as she\u2019s describing the purity ceremony, I\u2019m getting teary of what I hear\u2014is she really needed her mom\u2019s approval.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And yet, how beautiful that the veil comes down. I love the way it was described, as God can do a miracle, and He did. He does it in blended families; He does it in bio families. He can be trusted, so never\/never lose hope. God is there; He sees you. He\u2019s going to show up in a way you don\u2019t expect it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s another clip I want us to listen to; and by the way, again, this podcast is available for download. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and listen to Ron Deal\u2019s <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast\u2014this episode with Melody Fabien or any of the episodes in the podcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon and Melody talked about the dilemma she faced, as a teenager, going back and forth from one home to another; and in some cases, being the messenger between mom and dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[<em>FamilyLife Blended <\/em>Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> If I was sitting here with your dad right now\u2014talking to your biological father about this season of your life and all he was trying to do\u2014you talked about how he went into a mentoring mode\/a discipling mode with you\u2014was very intentional about that\u2014and I were to say to him, \u201cMan, obviously, you stepped up your game; and you were really being intentional with your daughter. Yet, you knew there was a competing message in the other home. How did you cope with that?\u201d What do you think your dad would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody: <\/strong>You know, I know he would say he had to enter a huge place of faith for his kids. People would say, \u201cJames, you can\u2019t control what\u2019s happening over there. Your kids are just going to do what they\u2019re going to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just refused\u2014he\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no. I\u2019m going to pray for them. I\u2019m going to teach them. I believe that God\u2019s Word doesn\u2019t return void. I\u2019m going to fight for this.\u201d He had this real tenacity to believe God. It wasn\u2019t like he was calling my mom, like, \u201cYou better stop!\u201d He had a very\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m going to pray.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember there being a point, where he just, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight your mom.\u201d But we were often [hearing]: \u201cTell your dad\u2026\u201d \u201cTell your mom\u2026\u201d\u2014which was not easy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, do you mind unpacking that just a little bit?\u2014just emotionally. Where did that leave you when one side made you the messenger to the other side?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes, it wasn\u2019t easy; because I\u2019d have to be like, \u201cOh, Mom says this,\u201d or \u201cMy dad said this.\u201d I think, for sure, for big decisions like graduation, college, they would talk very quickly on the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mom kind of grew up, too, like divorce was kind of taboo; \u201cSo let\u2019s just\u2026\u201d She didn\u2019t like when there were movies, where the divorced families are all eating dinner. She was like, \u201cWhat?! No! That is so weird.\u201d I do remember that; I do remember her being, \u201cWe will not be that kind of family. That's just weird to me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d be, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s the way it is.\u201d So we did not have birthdays together; we did not have holidays together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It would\u2019ve been okay with <em>you<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I think <em>so<\/em>. I probably would\u2019ve felt super weird, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014having stepparents in the room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> The time that that had to happen was my wedding; that\u2019s when it went down. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] Did it go down well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> You know, it did. There were some tense moments; I\u2019ll share one. My dad\u2014it\u2019s like he had amnesia or something; because I\u2019m like, \u201cDad, I have a great stepfather,\u201d and \u201cI do want to acknowledge him at my wedding, so I would like to dance with both of you. I would like <em>you<\/em> to walk me down the aisle, but I would like my stepfather to be in the front so that he\u2019s also present with my mom.\u201d He didn\u2019t like that idea at first. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> I was taken aback; I was like, \u201cAre you serious?!\u201d He\u2019s just like, \u201cBut why?!\u201d \u201cHe <em>raised<\/em> me since I was five!\u201d I just\u2014I was not expecting that; that was <em>really<\/em> painful for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank God for my husband and his wisdom. He met my dad for coffee\u2014he said, \u201cListen, I know this is very painful, even though it\u2019s 23 years ago. This is our big day. She wants to honor <em>both<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was like, \u201cI know he\u2019s a good man, but I\u2019ve got to share <em>again<\/em>?\u201d You know, it\u2019s just that <em>reopening<\/em> of the wound; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019s got to get honored <em>too<\/em>\u201d; you know? He\u2019s [fianc\u00e9] like, \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> There\u2019s a message for our listener. A separated family\u2014you walk it out day after day after day; children walk it out every single day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> It is <em>never<\/em> in the past. \u201cOkay, let\u2019s just move on, embrace the new family, put the past behind us,\u201d\u2014you can't do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> You can\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> \u2014because the implications just continue to ripple out through life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWow, kudos to your husband for finding the courage to have that hard conversation with his future father-in-law.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> That was a good move on his part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Melody:<\/strong> Yes, my dad received it; after that conversation, he said [sighing], \u201cOkay.\u201d It\u2019s almost like a reminder: \u201cHere we go again. Why am I going to fight? Why am I going to make this a big deal that is going to be painful for my daughter?\u201d I\u2019m thankful that I was able to honor both at my wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband, too\u2014like when he asked my parents for the blessing to marry me\u2014he met with my dad separately, then he met with my stepdad separately, man to man. My stepdad got very emotional and said, \u201cYou know, I love my stepdaughters; but I didn't feel the same kind of man, asking for the blessing the way you have. I really feel honor, and I want to thank you for doing that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well again, we\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from Ron Deal\u2019s conversation with Melody Fabien, part of the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast that\u2019s available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. The two things I\u2019m hearing as I listen to this conversation: first of all, I\u2019m hearing complexity. There\u2019s huge complexity when a family is divided: when kids are going back and forth, when mom and dad aren\u2019t together\/aren\u2019t on the same page.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing I\u2019m hearing is redemption. I\u2019m hearing that God can work in those complex situations to do some <em>amazing<\/em> things. There can be some <em>breakthroughs<\/em> in families as people follow Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, we\u2019re sort of wiping tears from our cheeks; aren\u2019t we? It\u2019s so tender\u2014and it\u2019s what you said, Bob\u2014it\u2019s like beauty from ashes. There\u2019s obviously hurt, and complexity, and misunderstanding. Yet, at the end of the day, God shows up and brings this beautiful moment; and legacy going forward from all of that that we just got to hear about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt gives you hope to think, \u201cOkay, even in my situation\u201d\u2014or in your situation\/whoever you are, listening\u2014\"God\u2019s there, and He can bring beauty.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s the Redeemer of our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, Melody talks in her interview with Ron\u2014in the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast\u2014she talks about what it was like, as a child, when she learned her parents were divorcing. I hope listeners will go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and listen to this episode of <em>FamilyLife Blended,<\/em> and <em>all<\/em> of the episodes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I was sharing with somebody this week about this podcast and said, \u201cYou need to sign up for this. This is something you need to be listening to regularly.\u201d All the information about the <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast is available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have a heart for blended families, we\u2019ve got an event coming up\u2014it\u2019s our 2020 <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em>. It happens October 1<sup>st<\/sup> and 2<sup>nd<\/sup>. It is an online event this year; you can join us via livestream from anywhere in the world. Two full days of sessions and breakouts with speakers like Ron and Nan Deal, Kathi Lipp, Ted Lowe, Laura Petherbridge, Alicia La Hoz, Rob Bugh, many others. Find out more when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. If you\u2019re a church leader, a pastor, or you just have a heart for blended families in your church or in your community, take part in the 2020 <em>Summit on Stepfamily Ministry<\/em>. It\u2019s a completely virtual online event this year. Find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, today is the last day for me to let you know about a resource we\u2019ve been making available for the last few weeks. It\u2019s our \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great\u201d resource. It\u2019s a collection of video courses, some downloadable messages, a downloadable eBook\u2014all designed to help you strengthen the foundation of your marriage so that your marriage can persevere in challenging times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you download this content\u2014and again, today\u2019s the last day it\u2019s going to be available\u2014when you download, you automatically become eligible to win a trip to FamilyLife, where you can sit in on a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session and then go out to dinner with Dave and Ann Wilson when the recording session is over. We\u2019ll cover the cost of airfare for two of you to come; we\u2019ll cover your hotel room; we\u2019ll provide some spending money for the trip while you\u2019re here. No purchase necessary. Restrictions apply; official rules can be found at FamilyLife.com\/good-contest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe contest ends today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and access the \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great\u201d resource, and you\u2019re automatically entered in the contest to come join us, here, at FamilyLife. You\u2019ll get great content, and then somebody\u2019s going to be here for the recording session. We look forward to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd finally, we hope every <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener will get their hands on a copy of my new book, which is called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. I spent a long time diving into \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 13 and what the Bible has to say about what real love looks like. I thought, \u201cWhat would it look like if a marriage had this kind of love as the foundation instead of a superficial emotion-based kind of love?\u201d This book is our thank-you gift when you make a donation today to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe depend on listener donations to be able to reach hundreds of thousands of people every day with practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families. You make that possible when you donate; so if you can, go online today and donate at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Be sure to ask for your copy of the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It,<\/em> as our thank-you gift. We\u2019re happy to send it to you, and we appreciate you. Thanks for your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are somehow able to worship together with your local church this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you can join us back on Monday. You\u2019re going to hear a <em>great<\/em> story. Beckett Cook is going to join us to talk about what happened in his life 12 years ago when he heard and understood the gospel. The transformation was remarkable, especially since he was a same-sex attracted guy, living in Hollywood, in the movie industry. It\u2019s an <em>amazing<\/em> story. I hope you can tune in as we have a conversation with Beckett Cook on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend; we\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306330","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306330"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306330"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306330"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306330"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}