{"id":306313,"date":"2020-08-07T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-08-07T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/rooted-in-grace\/"},"modified":"2020-08-07T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-08-07T11:00:05","slug":"rooted-in-grace","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/rooted-in-grace\/","title":{"rendered":"Rooted in Grace"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Only a mom can model feminine integrity for her daughter. Terra Mattson explains why daughters learn more from what they experience than what you teach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:57","filesize":"26.51M","filesize_raw":"27797900","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2836],"tags":[6847],"podcast_series":[8380],"cwp_profile":[9640],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306313","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-raising-girls","tag-raising-a-daughter","podcast_series-courageous","cwp_profile-terra-mattson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306313\/rooted-in-grace","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306313\/rooted-in-grace","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nkhDkCi1v2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/rooted-in-grace\/\">Rooted in Grace<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/rooted-in-grace\/embed\/#?secret=nkhDkCi1v2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Rooted in Grace&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"nkhDkCi1v2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Only a mom can model feminine integrity for her daughter. Terra Mattson explains why daughters learn more from what they experience than what you teach.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-08-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> To raise sons and daughters, who are emotionally healthy, Terra Mattson says we have to be moms and dads who are emotionally healthy ourselves. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> If you do not know your own inner life, you can\u2019t know somebody else\u2019s. You cannot give away what you haven\u2019t received. That\u2019s part of the process for moms. We have to understand what\u2019s going on in the inside. It might be doing some of your own work and understanding your own childhood: \u201cWhat was it like for you to be a daughter?\u201d \u201cWhy did you parent the way you parented?\u201d\u2014and having grace for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 7<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Your spiritual and emotional health is not just about you. It\u2019s about everybody who is around you\/everybody who is <em>watching<\/em> you and learning from you. That\u2019s why it is so important to authentically address the issues in your own life. We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I know what I\u2019m about to say is probably going to get me in trouble, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We never know\u2014we <em>never<\/em> know what he\u2019s going to say! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh boy! Wait; I can\u2019t wait. I like it when he thinks he\u2019s going to get in trouble. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ann\u2019s getting out\u2014she\u2019s going to record it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I am. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want you to fill in the blank. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh boy! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh no\u2014us?\u2014we\u2019re going to fill it in? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes: \u201cThat person is a real drama ______.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cqueen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So how come we never say, \u201cThat person is a real drama king\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, Bob, I never thought about that in my <em>entire<\/em> life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, you are <em>lying<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No, I\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You never thought that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014drama <em>king<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We wouldn\u2019t; that just doesn\u2019t sound right; does it?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t sound right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cdrama king.\u201d But yet, there is something in us that thinks, \u201cDrama queen.\u201d That\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What are you trying to say, Bob? You\u2019re sort of making an accusation there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I said this was going to get me into trouble. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know; it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So we\u2019re talking about what it means for a woman to embrace all that God has made her to be, as a woman,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and to raise daughters who understand that. There are some\u2014as my son likes to call them\u2014there are genderalities\/some stereotypes that come to play in this. Part of the reason there are stereotypes is because there is something behind the stereotypes that we\u2019ve got to address; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Especially when you say, \u201cDrama queen,\u201d\u2014as women heard that\u2014many triggers just went off because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s why I was getting in trouble, because I brought it up; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly; because what happens, when we hear that, is we squelch our emotions\/our feelings; because that seems like drama. Especially, men don\u2019t like to be around drama. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So do you think we can help both men and women today understand? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I hope so. Are we going to help you <em>guys<\/em>?! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Let\u2019s find out! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ll let you know by the time things are over today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Well, if you are a man\u2014that you would want to love your wife, or your girls, or your colleagues\u2014then you should listen in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is Terra Mattson who is offering that advice. Terra, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She has written a book called <em>Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace<\/em>. Terra and her husband live in the Pacific Northwest. She is a mom of two girls. She is a speaker, and a writer, and a counselor. She understands and has written about how women are processing what it means to be a woman in our world today\/a godly woman in our world today. <em>Rooted in Grace<\/em> is the subtitle of your book and how to deal with the reality of your femininity and the cultural implications of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I just want to say that, really, our core passion is helping leaders live with integrity\/shrinking the gap between who we say we are and how we actually live. When I am addressing women, specifically, it\u2019s really looking at: \u201cWho do we say we are, as women, and how are we actually living?\u201d Then in practice: \u201cWhat does that actually look like in our home as we\u2019re raising our girls?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis systemic shift that is happening: when we say something at church, but in our own home life, it looks very different: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want my daughter to be a strong girl\/to use her voice, but I struggle with that myself,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want her to have healthy relationships, but I don\u2019t even have good friendships,\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want her to not be bullied, but I struggle with bullying other women myself,\u201d\u2014I mean, those are the kinds of things that I\u2019m bringing up in this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> In some ways, it\u2019s very similar to what men struggle with; because that sounds like a lot of things I talk to men about; but it\u2019s the same thing for women. Am I right, or is it totally different? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Oh, yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I think we all struggle with that\u2014that\u2019s true\u2014but I think little girls are really in tune to watching their moms. I think you\u2019re right; when we say, \u201cOh, you should stick up for yourself,\u201d she\u2019s [daughter\u2019s] thinking, \u201cI\u2019ve never seen that in <em>you<\/em>.\u201d What will she do?\u2014will she become who we say she should be?\u2014or will she just become who we <em>are<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, let\u2019s go there. If you\u2019re a godly Christian woman, telling your daughter, \u201cStick up for yourself,\u201d and yet, you\u2019re a godly submissive wife, how do you stick up for yourself to your husband? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, you just brought in a very big word right there. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I mean, you are <em>called<\/em>\u2014we are <em>all<\/em> called to be submissive to Christ and submissive to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That is definitely something a godly Christian woman <em>has<\/em> to struggle with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cI am trying to honor my husband in what he is asking; and yet, there are times I feel like I don\u2019t have a voice. Yet, I\u2019m telling my daughter to have a voice.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I love it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I don\u2019t know. Maybe, I\u2019m making something up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> You\u2019re hitting it right on the head; yes. No; it\u2019s spot on, and that is the struggle. The culture is telling her: \u201cYou speak up. You take the bull by its horns, and you make it happen.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cHmm; that\u2019s not necessarily gospel version of trusting God as well.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat word, \u201csubmission\u201d\u2014is that the word you\u2019re talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s a loaded word, as is \u201cobey.\u201d I talk about that in the book. But really, those are love words; they are <em>relationship<\/em> words. When a woman <em>understands<\/em> that in the context of a loving relationship, it\u2019s so much easier to submit. I would say that is true of our children, too, when they know that they are <em>loved<\/em> and that they are <em>known<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf a husband wants a submissive wife, learn to love her and to know her; and to know her, you have to listen to her voice. You might have to put up with some of our emotions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> See, it\u2019s all on you guys. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes; to love like Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Somehow, it always comes back; doesn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes; seriously. It\u2019s a hard\u2014I\u2014you guys have it hard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think you are right, though. In terms of being submissive, it comes through relationship too. When we feel loved, and known, and seen, and heard\u2014and not that we have to have that\u2014but I\u2019m saying, it makes it a lot easier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> It makes it <em>a lot<\/em> easier. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I think there is misunderstanding or misbelief that to be submissive is <em>quiet<\/em>\u2014you never speak; you never\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014you lose your voice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I remember a meeting we had, not too long ago, in our church with a room of <em>all<\/em> men. They wanted Ann to be there; because this was sort of about me, and about us, and the future\u2014blah, blah, blah. I think you were the only woman in that room\u2014probably 15 men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re hashing through different things. At one point\u2014and I mean, an <em>hour<\/em> in, and a lot of strong opinions, going back and forth between us\u2014and then Ann\u2014and she wasn\u2019t sitting beside me; she was sitting in front of me, so I couldn\u2019t see her\u2014she can be strong at times; she can be courageous. She just goes, \u201cHey! Let me ask you this question.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s so interesting. I didn\u2019t <em>hear<\/em> myself speaking out like that. [Laughter] I kind of heard it as, \u201cHmm, this is interesting; I have a question.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay; maybe, it was like that. [Laughter] It was gentle but firm. It was just like, \u201cHey, I\u2019m observing something. Help me to understand. Am I seeing this correctly?\u201d And when she said that, my first thought was, \u201cOh boy! What is she doing?\u201d\u2014because the guys were almost pushed back. It wasn\u2019t because she was strong; it was just like she saw something; she spoke it out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was <em>spot on<\/em>\u2014<em>exactly<\/em> what was happening in that room\u2014no guy could see it, or they would not address it until she spoke it. Then, it\u2019s almost like that meeting was several hours\u2014nothing happened until that was spoken out\u2014then we had a constructive conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember just sitting there, thinking, \u201cThat is the <em>beauty<\/em> of having a woman in this room.\u201d If she wasn\u2019t in there, I don\u2019t know if we\u2019d ever gotten to where we needed to get to; but I would just\u2014I appreciated the way God made women. So many times, they are not invited into that\u2014they can\u2019t sit at that table\u2014but she was invited in to sit there, and she was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and I <em>love<\/em> and respect everyone in that room\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and I appreciate them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> It\u2019s out of relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> As I watched, I was thinking, \u201cWhy aren\u2019t they talking about this? Are they not <em>seeing<\/em> this?\u201d When I asked it, I realized, \u201cWhoa! They <em>don\u2019t<\/em> see it,\u201d which was interesting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> It is interesting. What you\u2019re speaking to is the way God made our brains different from guys. This is what is so fascinating about the science; our [women\u2019s] brains are interacting\u2014both halves of our brain\u2014our logical and our emotions are firing back and forth all the time. We\u2019re picking up on perception and what\u2019s <em>not<\/em> being said. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhereas, that\u2019s where people will say that men are in the waffle or \u201cYou\u2019re just with whatever is in front of you right now.\u201d You were bringing in the <em>whole<\/em>; and you had courage to speak up because you had relationship with these men. The way you said it was giving them the benefit of the doubt: \u201cMaybe, they <em>don\u2019t<\/em> know.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ve learned over the years\u2014I mean, 40 years of marriage\u2014probably took me 10 years, and I hope the last 30 I\u2019ve learned this\u2014\u201cI want to know what she thinks about our family.\u201d Every time she has said\u2014in the early days, she would say, \u201cYou don\u2019t see this?!\u201d\u2014almost like\u2014you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You couldn\u2019t\u2014like, \u201cHow do you <em>not<\/em> see this?\u201d Then she realized, \u201cHe <em>doesn\u2019t<\/em>!\u201d Now, I realize, \u201cI don\u2019t.\u201d It\u2019s like [I began asking], \u201cWhat\u2019s going on with our kids?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She knows. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on right now in the family room?\u201d\u2014she knows. I used to get mad, like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s not what\u2019s happening!\u201d Then I realized, \u201cOh my goodness! God has <em>made<\/em> her to feel and sense; and I just need to go, \u2018Okay; help me. Help me understand.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think every husband\/every man\u2014and I\u2019m not just speaking to men\u2014but man, you should draw out what God put in your woman, your daughter, your wife, your mom and say, \u201cTeach me,\u201d because they are probably seeing and are tuned into something that you are missing. If you listen, <em>everybody<\/em> is going to benefit. That takes humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love that. I love that, Dave; because you\u2019re saying they are offering things that you don\u2019t see: \u201cSo pay attention and applaud that in her instead of being skeptical at times.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave is great; he is super positive. I can remember, when our boys were in high school\u2014I remember this one night, saying, \u201cOh man! This one son\/he is not doing well.\u201d Dave was\u2014he <em>hates<\/em> it when I say those kinds of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He said, \u201cWhat are you talking about?! He is a <em>great<\/em> kid.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI know he\u2019s a great kid, but I really don\u2019t think he\u2019s in a great place.\u201d Dave would be <em>so offended<\/em> that I would kind of take this route; and yet, we would pray earnestly together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And she was, again, right\u2014spot on right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Well, she was picking up, again, on that inner life\u2014the parts that we often miss because we\u2019re looking at the outer life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things our kids, now that they are older, have <em>criticized<\/em> us in our parenting is they said: \u201cYou were so concerned about the <em>outside<\/em>\u2014of the image of what we were doing\u2014instead of thinking: \u2018<em>Why<\/em> are you doing this?\u2019 \u2018What\u2019s happening on the <em>inside<\/em> that\u2019s making you behave in this wrong manner?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we go <em>into<\/em> our kids\u2019 inner lives without them getting defensive or\u2014you know, especially when they are teenagers\u2014and they are like, \u201cWhat are you doing, Mom; come on!\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How do you get in there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> It looks like listening: slowing down and be slow to speak. It means: \u201cDo I have my own identity in Christ apart from my children?\u2014or is my identity wrapped up in what my children say and do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s easy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Terra:<\/strong> That\u2019s something\u2014step one: \u201cWe have God to work on us, as parents, is to say: \u2018Where is my identity?\u2019\u201d I can tell by my <em>emotions<\/em>. Cognitively, I\u2019m like, \u201cOf course, I know God loves me\u201d; but when it comes down to it, if my son or daughter struggles: \u201cDo I still believe that I\u2019m loveable? Do I still believe <em>they\u2019re<\/em> loveable?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the sandwich effect is <em>constant<\/em> with our children. It\u2019s: \u201cI love you. Help me understand what\u2019s going on here.\u201d Then, actually, it takes exhausting work, as a parent, to sit down and actually\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And did you call that the sandwich effect? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes; so I\u2019m going to say: \u201cI love you,\u201d \u201cHelp me understand,\u201d\u2014and then\u2014\u201cI love you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> You wanted me to close <em>that<\/em> loop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Got it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> \u201cBut who you are is more important to me than what you do,\u201d\u2014I think that\u2019s a gospel-grace message\u2014that God definitely cares about what we do; but more so, He cares about who we are. That has to be <em>experienced<\/em> in the home, not just <em>talked<\/em> about in the home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell a story of my daughter, Nevi, hiding cookies in the closet; she stuffed those cookies away. Well, we found out that she was gluten-free at the time; so she was hording. When you\u2019re a counselor, you think everything is like bad; I\u2019m like, \u201cShe\u2019s got an eating disorder!\u201d The girl is four. [Laughter] I mean, we\u2019re going to be okay; but this was this pull in me of: \u201cWhat is going on?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Jeff is wanting to go right for the behavior: \u201cShe\u2019s hiding. She\u2019s lying. She needs to learn quickly.\u201d We\u2019ve got these two extremes; right? I\u2019m like, \u201cShe needs to <em>process<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We go in there. She\u2019s four; we just say, \u201cDid you hide the cookies?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d So great; she just was honest. \u201cSo where did you hide the cookies?\u201d She goes to the closet, opens it right up, and shows us. We go, \u201cSo what happened, honey?\u201d \u201cI just wanted the cookies.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, my mind goes to: \u201cOkay; she\u2019s four. She needs to learn consequences.\u201d But in that moment, something in\/the Holy Spirit was saying this stuff: \u201cShe needs to know you love her, even though she did something wrong, and affirm that she trusted us to tell us the truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen she\u2019s 15, I want her to tell us the truth; so we\u2019re practicing, when she\u2019s 4, by saying, \u201cHoney, I love you. Thank you that you told me and trusted me with this. Is it good to hide?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d \u201cHow do you feel now that you told us?\u201d \u201cIt feels so good.\u201d That\u2019s what I want our kids to experience\u2014what it feels like to come out and to be known, even in our mistakes and our struggles, and have someone tell you they still love <em>you<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, what\u2019s really interesting\u2014as I\u2019m listening, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cWell, that\u2019s how every husband should deal and talk with his wife.\u201d You didn\u2019t just train us in talking to a daughter or a son. I\u2019m sitting there, going, \u201cWow; that would be nice if I did that with Ann. She would come <em>alive<\/em>; she would open up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Terra:<\/strong> She would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I am quick to: \u201cWe\u2019re good; right? Come on; it can\u2019t be that bad. I mean, what\u2014okay, okay; I didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes; minimize it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and just rather than: \u201cOkay; let\u2019s stop; let\u2019s hit pause.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ooh, I\u2019d love it if you said, \u201cWhat are you <em>feeling<\/em>?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Exactly; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Bob, do you ask Mary Ann that: \u201cWhat are you <em>feeling<\/em> right now?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh; uh. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> He says, \u201cGive me the data points.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That would be a \u201cNo,\u201d if he goes, \u201cUh.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Well, let me tell you something. We teach this in our marriage\u2014for years, we\u2019ve been doing this\u2014we talk about \u201cflipping the lid.\u201d This is from Dr. Siegel, a neuroscientist. He understands\u2014or helped us understand\u2014that the upstairs brain is the cognitive brain. The downstairs brain is the emotional brain; that\u2019s where all the trauma\u2014it\u2019s where you are mapping everything out with your senses\u2014we are mapping out the world through what we see, smell, hear, taste, feel from when we were babies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do not get your upstairs brain fully intact until you are 24, so what is speaking louder?\u2014is those early memories. If I did not feel safe with my parents, I\u2019m going to have a really hard time feeling safe with you, emotionally. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we know is: \u201cHealthy is integrated,\u201d\u2014when you can have <em>both<\/em> intact\u2014and you can say, \u201cI\u2019m <em>feeling<\/em> very angry right now; but I know, logically, it\u2019s not good to punch you.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s what I have to do: I\u2019m going to step back; I\u2019m going to go take care of my anger. What I\u2019m going to do is\u2014I actually have a punching bag, because I\u2019m the more physical one between Jeff and me; I\u2019m feisty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, wait\u2014a real\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> For real?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I have a punching bag. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; alright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> That came out of years of my lid flipping and me feeling like, \u201cI\u2019m wanting to punch Jeff.\u201d I\u2019m verbal, and I\u2019m saying, \u201cI want to punch you; I know that\u2019s not healthy.\u201d I know that; he knows that. He knows I\u2019m not going to hurt him, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> His face isn\u2019t on this punching bag? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> No; not at all; but he said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we come up with a solution?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you actually go down and punch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes; we have a punching bag. What it does is\u2014it helps my lower brain calm down; and now, the blood literally leaves my lower brain and comes back into the upper brain. Now, I feel more able to make a holistic decision on what to do with my anger. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Everyone right now, with teenagers, is thinking, \u201cI need to get a punching bag for myself, as a parent, and for my teenager.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve gone down, and I\u2019ve worked out; I\u2019ve gone for a jog\u2014it\u2019s the blood flow puts you in a different place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> It releases it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Time away helps you process. You come back; and hopefully, you\u2019re in a better place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So how does that help your daughters?\u2014as they are watching you guys, mom and dad\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I love that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014process\u2014and even thinking about being courageous daughters, does this play in? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> In the short run, my girls are watching me use my voice with my husband; and they are watching my husband honor that. We\u2019re feisty; we\u2019re two oldest children. We definitely, both, have a lot of opinions. We do a lot together, but we\u2019re feisty; so we call it passionate discussion. My girls are seeing us talk, process, even be frustrated and angry; but they are watching us with repair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband, actually\u2014I give all the credit for this\u2014he will literally make sure my girls are present when he apologizes to me\u2014it\u2019s <em>profound<\/em>\u2014and then he goes and apologizes to <em>them<\/em>. The process of experiencing someone asking forgiveness of you, or watching him come to me\u2014well, then that puts me on the spot; now, I\u2019ve got to bottle\u2014[Laughter]\u2014I\u2019m the more stubborn one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s true for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I do want my girls to see that. I want to see what it looks like to repair\u2014that Mom and Dad aren\u2019t just vocalizing their opinions, but we\u2019re actually owning the parts where we wounded one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Terra, talk to the mom that is hearing you, thinking, \u201cOh, I want this; but I haven\u2019t done it.\u201d How does she <em>start<\/em> this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> I feel for that mom; I do, because it\u2019s generations of\u2014that\u2019s probably your story too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think step one is the fact that you are acknowledging it and to be able to tell your daughter. If you could have the courage\u2014ask God for help there\u2014whether it\u2019s a letter, or maybe you take her out to lunch, just to say, \u201cI realize I have <em>focused<\/em> too much on the pressure of being something rather than hearing your heart. Will you forgive me for that?\u201d Now, she might not want to forgive you. She might be 25 and really wounded and hurt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut starting there and then continue to work on your own process. If you do not know your own inner life, you can\u2019t know somebody else\u2019s. You cannot give away what you haven\u2019t received; and that\u2019s part of this process for moms. We have to understand what\u2019s going on in the inside. It might be doing some of your own work and understanding your own childhood: \u201cWhat was it like for you to be a daughter?\u201d \u201cWhy did you parent the way you parented?\u201d\u2014and having grace for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s the thread I\u2019ve been hearing all the way through this conversation is\u2014it\u2019s the word you just used; the word in the subtitle of your book\u2014the word, \u201cgrace.\u201d Understanding what grace means in our <em>own<\/em> lives as we deal with our own emotions, our own thoughts, our own behaviors\u2014understanding how grace applies to those\u2014understanding what grace looks like in relationships; helping our kids understand how to embrace grace in the midst of their own immaturity\/their own sinfulness. That\u2019s the key word in all of this. That\u2019s why you wrote the book, <em>Courageous<\/em>; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Yes. Thank you, Bob. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014to bring women to a place where they understand\u2014not just women; all of us\u2014but you have daughters in mind: <em>Daughters Rooted in Grace<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this has been a helpful conversation, Terra. Thank you for being here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terra:<\/strong> Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book we\u2019re talking about is a book called <em>Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace<\/em>. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order the book, <em>Courageous<\/em>, from us online; or call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the foundation for any strong family is going to be a strong marriage. That\u2019s part of our DNA, here, at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways, the resources we\u2019ve created through the years, this radio program\u2014we focus on building strong families; but we zero in, oftentimes, on strong marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, we\u2019ve got a resource available online that is called \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great.\u201d It\u2019s a free resource that includes a of couple of online video courses; some downloadable messages from people like Voddie Baucham, Paul David Tripp, Gary Chapman, and Juli Slattery. There is a downloadable e-book. These resources are designed to help <em>you<\/em> with strategies for strengthening the foundation of your marriage and dealing with the trouble spots that pop up in a marriage relationship. It\u2019s all free; you can access or download when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>As a little additional incentive to get you going with this, everybody who downloads the content is automatically registered in a contest. Somebody is going to be our guest, here, at FamilyLife for an upcoming <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session and then dinner that night with Dave and Ann Wilson. We\u2019ll cover the cost of travel, your hotel while you\u2019re here, some spending money to help cover your expenses. There is no purchase necessary; the contest ends August 14<sup>th<\/sup>. Restrictions do apply. Official rules can be found at FamilyLife.com\/good-contest. Find out more about the \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great\u201d resource; and maybe, we\u2019ll see you at an upcoming <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen finally, we\u2019d love for you to have a copy of my new book, which is called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. It\u2019s all about what <em>real<\/em> love looks like in a marriage and how we can build a marriage on a foundation of biblically-anchored love\u2014not just romantic comedy\/pop song love. The book is our gift to you when you support this ministry with a donation this month. You help us help others every time you donate\u2014hundreds of thousands of people every day, who are benefitting from the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014you make that possible through your donations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, ask for a copy of my book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>. We\u2019d love to send it to you as our \u201cThank you,\u201d for your support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are somehow\/someway able to worship together with your local church this weekend. Then I hope you can join us on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about an easy engaging way to make Scripture memory a part of what your family is doing in 2020. Jason Houser and John Majors will be with us to talk about that. I hope you can be with us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306313"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306313"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306313"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306313"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}