{"id":306303,"date":"2020-07-31T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-07-31T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed\/"},"modified":"2025-04-29T13:48:58","modified_gmt":"2025-04-29T17:48:58","slug":"love-is-tenacious-and-committed","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Is Tenacious and Committed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Guest: Bob Lepine | Series: Love Like You Mean It, with Bob Lepine Part 2 | Dave and Ann Wilson interview Bob Lepine about the qualities of biblical love from 1 Corinthians 13. Love is more than a feeling, and there really is a kind of love that &#8220;never fails.&#8221; But how can a spouse bear and endure all things when things feel unbearable? How can a person believe all things when his\/her spouse is deceitful? And how can we avoid enabling wrong behavior, including physical and emotional abuse, as we pursue a marriage that goes the distance?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bob Lepine talks about the qualities of biblical love from 1 Corinthians 13. Learn how to bear and endure all things when things feel unbearable. And we&#8217;ll hear how to avoid enabling wrong behavior.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-31.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:58","filesize":"25.61M","filesize_raw":"26855994","date_recorded":"2020-07-31 07:00:04","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2810,2088],"tags":[6922],"podcast_series":[8376],"cwp_profile":[3142],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306303","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-growing-spiritually","category-romance-and-sex","tag-love-like-you-mean-it","podcast_series-love-like-you-mean-it-with-bob-lepine-part-2","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306303\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306303\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6UxWgqHK8v\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed\/\">Love Is Tenacious and Committed<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-is-tenacious-and-committed\/embed\/#?secret=6UxWgqHK8v\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Love Is Tenacious and Committed&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6UxWgqHK8v\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Bob Lepine talks about the qualities of biblical love from 1 Corinthians 13. Learn how to bear and endure all things when things feel unbearable. And we'll hear how to avoid enabling wrong behavior.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"<p>\"Making a Safety Plan\" from Is It My Fault by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. http:\/\/justinholcomb.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/IsItMyFaultAppendix2.pdf<br \/>\nARTICLE: Are You in an Abusive Relationship? by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb (9 min. read)\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/articles\/topics\/marriage\/archived-content\/miscellaneous\/are-you-in-an-abusive-relationship\/<br \/>\nTake your marriage from good to great with these free resources.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/good-contest\/<br \/>\nFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=95.<br \/>\nCheck out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\nHave the FamilyLife Today\u00ae podcast and resources helped you?\u00a0 Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife.\u00a0https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/legacy<\/p>\n","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-31.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> When the Bible says \u201cLove bears all things,\u201d it\u2019s not saying we are to remain silent when there are challenges or problems in our relationship. Here is Ann Wilson.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know that, for me, there was this fine line. When Dave and I were struggling in our ten years, I stopped bringing things up. I guess some people could have looked at me and thought, \u201cOh, she\u2019s bearing all things\u201d; but there was something going on in my heart that was becoming resentful and bitter. Because of that, and because I wasn\u2019t taking it to Jesus\/talking to Him about it, or talking to friends that could help and talk to Dave, what happened was my heart started to shut down; and I had nothing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, July 31<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What does it look like for a husband and wife to bear all things together and to love one another that way in marriage? We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, for years, we\u2019ve talked on this program\/we\u2019ve talked at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways about the D-word; right? You know what the D-word is?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m guessing, \u201cDivorce.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. We have, for years, said that that\u2019s a word that ought to be out of our vocabulary when we get married\u2014not because there aren\u2019t circumstances that may arise, where we regrettably have to look at that as a possibility\u2014but because a lot of couples, in the midst of marital conflict, find themselves just saying, \u201cWell, maybe, it\u2019d be better if we just never had gotten married.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; they just throw it out there as a <em>threat<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> We said that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> First year of marriage\u2014very hurtful\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014we could both take you to the moment it was said; and afterwards, when we calmed down and started to talk through it, we said, \u201cWe will <em>never<\/em> ever say that again.\u201d And we haven\u2019t in 40 years.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was it about the hurtfulness of that word that caused you to say, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to take this out of our vocabulary\u201d? Do you remember?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; it caused incredible insecurity and made me really fearful that we weren\u2019t going to make it. It started to make me guard my heart\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and protect it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> When a husband or a wife says, \u201cWell, maybe, we should just get a divorce,\u201d the other person hears, \u201cThere could be conflict that comes along that I will bail on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Until you go back and say: \u201cIt was wrong for me to say that, and I won\u2019t say that again,\u201d and \u201cThat\u2019s not what I want,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m going to be here no matter what,\u201d\u2014see, that\u2019s what we said in the vows; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> We said,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s a promise.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cFor better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness\/health, \u2018til death parts us.\u201d We made a covenant that we\u2019d be here for one another in the midst of that.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve been talking this month about love and what it is\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014<em>from<\/em> your new book.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014from a book\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that I\u2019ve written called <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> that looks at 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter. It takes the first seven verses and says, \u201cLet\u2019s understand better what love is.\u201d One of the things the Bible says about love is that love doesn\u2019t quit\u2014it hangs in; it perseveres.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, we started this conversation by saying: \u201cLove is long-suffering. Love is patient.\u201d This definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13 comes back, at the end, and says, \u201cLove bears all things\u201d; or actually, in the original language, it says: \u201cLove always bears, always believes, always hopes, always endures; love never fails.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We look at our love, which is disposable. We wake up on the wrong side of the bed; we don\u2019t feel it anymore. You have couples, who come and say, \u201cI just lost my feelings for the other person.\u201d Well, that\u2019s a throw-away view of love. You may have lost your feelings. Let\u2019s see if we can find them again, because you are committed to\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Love is more than a feeling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. And bearing all things, and believing all things, and hoping all things, and enduring all things\u2014this is what the Bible calls us to as a part of what it means to love another person.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> But it does sound like\u2014I mean, if you\u2014I mean, it\u2019s a beautiful statement about love; and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh, yes; oh, yes\u201d; but then, when you\u2019re in a marriage or you\u2019re in a relationship, and you\u2019re supposed to bear all things\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014or always bear\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and your spouse is doing things that are hurting you\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014are unbearable\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that <em>feel<\/em> unbearable; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, there is a part of you thinking, \u201cOh, to be a good Christian, I\u2019m just supposed to lie down and take it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Is that what Paul is saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; that\u2019s not what Paul is saying. The four words\u2014bears all things, believes, hopes, endures\u2014the two on the outside: bear and endure\u2014those go together. The two on the inside\u2014believe and hope\u2014those go together. Bearing and enduring really tie together. \u201cLove bears all things\u201d means that, in the midst of pain\/in the midst of things that seem unbearable, two things have to happen.<\/p>\n<p>First of all, we have to go to our source of strength in those moments and draw strength. We can\u2019t bear what\u2019s going on, but Jesus can bear it in us. The second thing it means is we\u2019ve got to figure out how to dial back what is unbearable. When we say, \u201cThis is unbearable,\u201d it\u2019s typically because somebody is sinning against us in a relationship. Well, it\u2019s not loving to just allow somebody to continue to sin against you; you\u2019re not loving <em>them<\/em> if you just enable the dysfunction of their personality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Break that down for us because let\u2019s say you have someone that\u2019s\u2014her husband is cheating on her over and over\u2014does she just bear that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, no; so if she\u2019s aware that he is cheating on her, here is what she says. She says: \u201cI am bearing the weight of this; but I\u2019m not going to continue to enable you in this behavior. We\u2019re going to bring some accountability.\u201d I\u2019m going to go to you and say, \u201cThis is not acceptable behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I would get other people involved; I would get some of his friends. I\u2019d get church leaders and elders to go to him and say: \u201cThis is not how you\u2019re to live,\u201d and [the spouse to say] \u201cTo continue to live like this\/to support you living like this is not a loving act toward <em>you<\/em>. Because I love you, I\u2019m going to <em>bear<\/em> what you\u2019ve already done\u2014the shame and the scar\u2014you\u2019ve already hurt me. I\u2019m going to <em>bear<\/em> that now, but I\u2019m not going to enable you to continue that behavior.\u201d That\u2019s where there is a difference between bearing the weight of something and just enabling sinful behavior.<\/p>\n<p>Enduring\u2014now, we\u2019re talking about going the distance with something. Enduring means that: \u201cI\u2019m here for the long run\u201d; but \u201chere for the long run\u201d doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m here for the long run, just to be trampled on, because it\u2019s not right for <em>you<\/em>\/it\u2019s not good for you to be a trample-er. \u201cI\u2019m going to try to help <em>you<\/em>; it\u2019s loving for me to help <em>you<\/em> get over your trample problem.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I think you\u2019re definition of bearing and enabling\u2014that\u2019s a very clarifying understanding\u2014because think of the other side of this. I\u2019m sure some listeners are going right there right now: \u201cWhat if my spouse is abusive?\u2014physically, emotionally, sexually. Bearing means what? And enabling means what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; so enabling means that you are <em>not<\/em> doing things to protect you and others in that situation. You are enabling; you are putting your spouse in a position, where the abuse can continue easily.<\/p>\n<p>Bearing means: \u201cI\u2019m going to bear with you the pain and the shame and what we\u2019re going through\u2014I\u2019m going to bear the weight of this\u2014but I\u2019m going to bring weight to bear so that you can break free from this sin pattern in your life that is crippling you and crippling our marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> So if a\u2014and I\u2019ll just say it\u2019s a man abusing his wife\u2014it could be the other way around.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> If a woman is listening right now, her husband is coming home in three hours, she is going to be\u2014probably, just like it was last night, he\u2019s going to hit her\u2014what should she do <em>right now<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> She should get to safety <em>right now<\/em>. She needs to get to a place\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014with her children.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014with her children, where she can be safe.<\/p>\n<p>Hopefully, she\u2019s in a church; and she can call people in the church and say, \u201cI need help; I need to come to your place.\u201d There are probably places in your town\/in your city that protect women; because sometimes, if a husband comes home and he is enraged, your friends may not want to house you; because he may come in and try to harm them at the same time too, especially if he has firearms or something like this.<\/p>\n<p>So yes, you need a plan. I\u2019d encourage you to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. We\u2019ve got an article on the website today that will tell you how you develop a plan to get to safety if you are experiencing abuse in a relationship and, then, begin to develop a strategy to try to help your abusive spouse get free from the abuse that they are in.<\/p>\n<p>Now, here is what you need to know\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about abuse many times on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014what you need to know is that abuse is a deep-rooted sin in a man or a woman\u2019s life. This does not come out easily. Oftentimes, an abuser, right after the abuse, feels very remorseful for what they\u2019ve done. They say, \u201cOh, I\u2019m so sorry; I don\u2019t want to do this again.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This sin has got to be rooted out over a long period of time, and you need to not just wait until they come with sorrow. There is a difference between godly sorrow and genuine repentance. You need spiritual protection in your life to make sure you are getting safety from your husband before you\u2019d ever trust that you could be back in that relationship again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And that spouse would really need help\/therapy and to really dig deep into that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> You also give an example of Steve and Christy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; this is a couple who\u2014they\u2019d been a part of our church\u2014and I noticed that they kind of quit coming for a while. I remember getting a call from Christy; and she said, \u201cI found text messages.\u201d As it turned out, Steve had been having an affair for about a year. Here she is in a crisis point; she said, \u201cWhat do I do?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, the first thing you do is you make sure, again, that you are safe in this situation.\u201d She said, \u201cI don\u2019t feel threatened.\u201d I said, \u201cBut you don\u2019t enable this kind of ongoing behavior on Steve\u2019s part.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I contacted Steve. At first, he sat down and he said, \u201cI\u2019ll do whatever; I want to save my marriage.\u201d I went away hopeful; but a couple weeks later, he was back in the pattern that he\u2019d been in for a year. Christy, in the midst of this, her heart was: \u201cI want my marriage back; I want my husband back. I want to move to a place of healing.\u201d What she was saying is: \u201cThis has hurt me deeply and profoundly. He has violated the marriage vows in a profound way. I can bear that if we can get to healing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With Steve and Christy, we had hope for a while; and then pretty soon, he started ghosting and wouldn\u2019t respond to text messages. We had to sit down with Christy and say, \u201cFor your safety\/for the safety of your children\u2014for your financial safety\u2014you need the protection that divorce will provide you.\u201d She didn\u2019t want to get a divorce; she wanted her marriage to be reconciled. Even after the divorce was final, she kept hoping that God might do a work and restore her husband and restore their marriage.<\/p>\n<p>I think what she was modeling for me is what this verse is talking about. She wasn\u2019t modeling: \u201cI\u2019ve been hurt, and I can never love you again. I can\/I want <em>nothing<\/em> to do with you. You\u2019ve hurt\u2026\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not bearing all things. That\u2019s saying, \u201cMy hurt is bigger than your sin; and now we\u2019re in conflict, and we can never get there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Bible says, \u201cNo; let\u2019s pursue righteousness; let\u2019s pursue reconciliation\u201d; but that reconciliation has got to be anchored in truth and righteousness. Right before it says \u201cLove bears all things,\u201d it says \u201cLove does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think this is <em>so good<\/em>; but I also think, for me, there is this fine line. When Dave and I were struggling in our ten years, I stopped bringing things up. I guess some people could have looked at me and thought, \u201cOh, she\u2019s bearing all things\u201d; but there was something going on in my heart that was becoming resentful and bitter. Because of that, and because I wasn\u2019t taking it to Jesus\/talking to Him about it, or talking to friends who could help and talk to Dave, what happened was my heart started to shut down; and I had nothing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that is that fine line of bearing all things but also taking it continually to the Father: of asking the Father to not let your heart grow hard or bitter, to having friends that are praying and lifting you up. Do you guys see that?\u2014how that can shift into, \u201cI\u2019ve got nothing, and I\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cdon\u2019t care anymore\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; all of a sudden, it\u2019s\u2014and I understand the weakness of saying, \u201cI\u2019ve got nothing to give anymore,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s really, when this passage concludes, it concludes by saying \u201cLove never ends,\u201d\u2014it never fails; it never quits.<\/p>\n<p>In those moments, when your reservoir of grace gets empty,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014then what you have to do is you have to say, \u201cLord, fill me with fresh grace because I\u2019m dry\/because I\u2019m empty.\u201d When we\u2019re not drawing grace from the Father, our heart does get dry and hard; but as long as our tank is filled up, and we\u2019re aware that we\u2019re recipients of God\u2019s grace\u2014that in spite of how <em>we<\/em> sin, He still loves us.<\/p>\n<p>See, the more I think about that, the more I think about, \u201cNo matter how much I sin, God never quits loving me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> The more I recognize that\u2014now, I go, \u201cOkay; if God can love me, then God, <em>through me<\/em>, can love somebody that I\u2019ve got no love left for.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I tell this story in the book; you\u2019ve probably heard this story. Corrie ten Boom\u2014who some of our listeners have probably never heard of before\u2014but Corrie and her sister Betsie grew up in Holland during World War II. They were in their 50s; and their family hid Jews, who were hiding from the Nazis in occupied Holland.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> If you haven\u2019t read this book, you should pick it up.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the book, <em>The Hiding Place<\/em>\u2014it\u2019s remarkable. They were found to be hiding Jews. They were arrested, and they were taken to the same prison camps as the Jews. Betsie and Corrie were in the Ravensbr\u00fcck prison camp. In fact, it was a clerical error\/a fluke that Corrie got released from the prison camp. A week later, all of the women her age, who were still alive, were sent to the gas chamber. Her sister Betsie had already passed away at that point.<\/p>\n<p>Well, when the war was over, imagine, now, the horror of having been in that camp; and Corrie went around and talked about how we need to forgive others\u2014those who have oppressed us\/those who wronged us. She said one night she was speaking at a church in Munich, Germany. As she was speaking, she looked up; and there was a man in the audience. She recognized him; he had been one of the prison guards at the camp in Ravensbr\u00fcck. She said, \u201cWhen I saw him,\u201d\u2014she said\u2014\u201cI froze.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After the meeting was over, he came <em>toward<\/em> her to speak to her. He looked at her; and he said, \u201cOh, fr\u00e4ulein, I thank God for your message to imagine, as you said, He has forgiven my sins.\u201d She said, \u201cWhen I saw him, I had no love for him.\u201d She said, \u201cI froze.\u201d He stuck out his hand to shake mine; I could not shake his. She said, \u201cI prayed in that moment a silent prayer.\u201d She said, \u201cLord, I cannot forgive Him; I need Your forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As an act of obedience, she lifted her hand and stuck it out to embrace the hand of this guard, who had been\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014abusive.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014abusive.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m looking at\u2014this is the last couple of pages of your book, Bob\u2014you quote her. When I read this earlier, I thought, \u201cWow; so vivid how she describes it.\u201d She said: \u201cI thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me; and as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands, and then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes. \u2018I forgive you, brother,\u2019 I cried \u2018with all my heart.\u2019 For a long moment, we grasped each other\u2019s hands\u2014the former guard and the former prisoner. I had <em>never<\/em> known God\u2019s love so intensely as I did then.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s remarkable; isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> It is; that\u2019s <em>supernatural<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is; it\u2019s exactly supernatural. That\u2019s the kind of supernatural love that we\u2019re being called to in marriage. Even when your spouse is your enemy, or appears to be your enemy, love says: \u201cI can bear that. I can still have hope in the midst of this, because God is bigger than this. I can still believe that there is a future for us. I can endure the indignity; and I\u2019m not going to quit, because my tank is full of grace because God has poured it into my life. I can extend it to you because of what God\u2019s done for me.\u201d That\u2019s what real love looks like.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I had a woman come up to me at church, and she had tears in her eyes. She said, \u201cAnn, it has finally happened.\u201d I didn\u2019t know who she was. I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d She said: \u201cI\u2019ve been listening to you and Dave for 20-some years. I\u2019ve been trying to apply this to our marriage. Honestly, it was never working. My husband was not doing anything. I was angry; I was upset; I had no feelings. But we were raising our kids, so I\u2019m like, \u2018Okay; God, I\u2019m going to stick in here. I\u2019m going to try to do this.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She said, \u201cWe\u2019ve struggled; we\u2019ve gone up and down.\u201d She said, \u201cBut, Ann, he still hasn\u2019t changed; and I can honestly say, \u2018I <em>love him<\/em>.\u2019 My love for him finally has\u2014my endurance even\u2014has almost opened his eyes. This one day, he said, \u2018How have you been able to love me all these years?\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cIt\u2019s Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m like, \u201cSo it\u2019s taken 30-some years.\u201d She said, \u201cYes; but what we have now is sweet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that\u2019s what we\u2019d say to everybody in a hard situation: \u201cDraw your strength in life from Jesus. He will give you the courage, and the power, and the resilience to stand even in hard situations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Again, if you\u2019re facing abuse, get safety and protection. Don\u2019t enable ongoing sinful patterns in your spouse\u2019s life. You\u2019re probably not the right person to try to correct that, so get somebody else who can help you help your spouse with whatever the sin patterns in his or her life are; but persevere; don\u2019t give up hope; keep believing; keep bearing; keep enduring; and then keep praying; and see what God can do.<\/p>\n<p>Then I\u2019d wrap up with this\u2014keep coming back to these verses from 2 Corinthians, Chapter 4, that says that the things we\u2019re going through in this life\u2014they are light and momentary afflictions. I don\u2019t mean to minimize the pain people are going through\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019m not trying to diminish\u2014some people are in <em>real<\/em> pain and agony.<\/p>\n<p>The Apostle Paul, who wrote these things, had been beaten, thrown overboard; he had experienced a lot of wrong against him. He said: \u201cThese are light and momentary afflictions. They are producing in me an eternal weight of glory.\u201d Persevering in love is a part of God\u2019s design for us to grow us more into the image of Christ so that we can be a reflection of the love of God to the world around us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann:<\/strong> And don\u2019t forget Jesus sees you; He hears you; He loves you; and He always wants to speak to you, and comfort you, and fill you up. It\u2019s not this drudgery every single day; but in the midst of the hard stuff, He\u2019s always bringing hope.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think, if couples could get together with other couples and do a book study on this book, I think, as they share with each other their challenges and their frustrations, I think they\u2019d be <em>encouraged<\/em> to find out, first of all, \u201cYou\u2019re not alone in the issues you are facing\/the challenges you are facing\u201d; and secondly, there\u2019s hope! The Bible offers a way that we can love one another better\u2014that\u2019s what the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, is all about\u2014looking at 1 Corinthians 13 and applying it to the marriage relationship.<\/p>\n<p>I hope listeners, who find help and hope here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, will get a copy of this book; because I think you\u2019ll find it helpful and hopeful as well. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order your copy of the book, <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>I know we\u2019ve got a cruise by that name\u2014you don\u2019t get the cruise along with the book\u2014but you do get a serious look at 1 Corinthians 13 and how that applies to marriage. Order your copy of <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em>, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> is here with us again today. Again, we\u2019ve just got to acknowledge this passage, 1 Corinthians 13, is a challenging, convicting passage for many of us; but this is the roadmap. This is what God is calling us to as we\u2019re called to love each other in marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; Bob, I just want to say, \u201cThank you.\u201d Listening these past few days has been like pouring a bottomless jar of gospel truth over our marriages. Because of the gospel in our marriages, where there is sin, there can be forgiveness.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David:<\/strong> Where there is weakness, there can be strength. Where there is foolishness, we can find wisdom. Where there is bondage, we can find hope for deliverance. Such is the way of the grace and truth of Jesus. You have given us this biblical practical help and hope we aim to deliver every day at FamilyLife. So thank you again.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our Legacy Partners, who give monthly, to ensure we\u2019re able to <em>continue<\/em> to help you love the relationships that matter most in your life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Absolutely; we are so grateful for the monthly Legacy Partners, who make this radio program possible\u2014the resources we create, the website, our events\u2014all that we do, here at FamilyLife, happens because folks, like you, help make it happen. So thank you for your ongoing support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>We hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together one way or another with your local church this weekend. I hope you can join us on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk about all of the data\/all of the research that shows young people\u2014people in their 20s and 30s\u2014walking away from Christianity\/from religion. David Kinnaman and Mark Matlock say there is a silver lining to that cloud. We\u2019ll explore that silver lining when we join them on Monday. I hope you can be with us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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