{"id":306291,"date":"2020-07-28T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-07-28T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent\/"},"modified":"2020-07-28T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-07-28T11:00:05","slug":"the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent\/","title":{"rendered":"The Joy of Being a Grandparent"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Guest: Mary Larmoyeux | Series: One-Of-A-Kind Grandparent Connection | There are magical, special feelings that come with being a grandparent. The fun of learning what your grandchildren will call you (papa, mimi, &#8220;G-daddy&#8221;). Inviting your grandkids for sleepovers. Reading books slowly and not skipping words like you did as a young parent. Connecting with each grandchild uniquely, and leaving a spiritual legacy for when you are gone. Mary Larmoyeux, author of the book &#8220;One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection,&#8221; explains the lasting value of grandparents.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tTake your marriage from good to great with these free resources.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/good-contest\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/Products.aspx?categoryid=95.<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\n \tHave the FamilyLife Today\u00ae podcast and resources helped you?\u00a0 Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife.\u00a0https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/legacy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is so much fun that comes with being a grandparent\u00e2\u20ac&#8221;sleepovers, reading books together, and connecting with each grandchild uniquely. Mary Larmoyeux explains the lasting value of grandparents.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-28.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:34","filesize":"27.07M","filesize_raw":"28381975","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10379,2825,2891],"tags":[4474],"podcast_series":[8375],"cwp_profile":[9397],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306291","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-grandparents","category-honoring-your-parents","category-making-memories","tag-grandparenting","podcast_series-one-of-a-kind-grandparent-connection","cwp_profile-mary-larmoyeux","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306291\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306291\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WEKHl4Sb6f\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent\/\">The Joy of Being a Grandparent<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-joy-of-being-a-grandparent\/embed\/#?secret=WEKHl4Sb6f\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Joy of Being a Grandparent&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WEKHl4Sb6f\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You've probably seen the bumper sticker that says \u201cIf I'd known grandchildren were going to be this great, I'd have had them first\u201d?\u00a0 Mary\u00a0 Larmoyeux says she agrees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary<\/strong>: There's nothing like being a grandparent; people tell you that, and you don't know it until you see that first grandbaby, and you hold that grandchild, and then you see your legacy going on. There's no way to explain it; it just happens. It's just a God-given emotion when you hold that grandbaby, but you'll never be the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 28<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. There is a lot of sentiment attached to being a grandparent, but there's a lot of work involved too. We'll talk today about our assignment to be more intentional as grandparents. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you have special memories of grandparents, who came to visit you or who lived nearby? What do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, my grandmother, Faye\u2014I called her Nana\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which Ann is named after: Faye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014she spoiled me. Every school year, at the beginning of the school year, she would take me shopping. We were tight on money, but my grandmother would let me pick out a special school outfit for the year; and she would buy all the accessories with it. I just thought it was the best day of the year for me\u2014sometimes better than Christmas\u2014because all the attention was on <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have so many memories of her. I remember thinking, \u201cI want to be just like <em>her<\/em>,\u201d\u2014probably more so than even my mom\u2014because I had a connection with her that was very unique; maybe because I was named after her? She still is one of my most fond memories and one of my most favorite people in the whole world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dave, what about you? Any grandparent memories that stand out? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I didn't know my dad's parents; I think I met them one time, and I don't even remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>My mom's parents probably were the rock when I went through the divorce when I was seven, and my little brother dying when I was eight. I can remember going to Hallie and Leland's house. I don\u2019t remember what I called them; I don\u2019t know what I called them. But just as I think about walking in their back door, I feel loved; I feel safe; I feel joy. I didn't feel that very many places in my life at that time, so they were the source of\u2014actually, my grandfather was very strict\u2014I won't even say some of the words I can remember him saying. [Laughter] His wife\/my grandmother\u2014she was a lover of me and made me believe in myself. It was a comforting space in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We're talking about the power and the importance of grandparents this week on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Mary Larmoyeux is joining us. Welcome back, Mary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Thank you. It's great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary was a long-time member of our team, here, at Family Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014many articles, still online at FamilyLife.com, that Mary authored. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has written a book called <em>One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection <\/em>that really takes us into your experience as a grandparent; but you're coaching the rest of us and saying: \u201cThis is a divine assignment for you. If you have grandkids, God's got a purpose for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; as far as you have a divine assignment for your children, same thing with your grandchildren. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What's the <em>One-of-a-Kind<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Oh, <em>One-of-a-Kind<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What did you mean by that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Each grandchild and each person\u2014there's a unique connection that you'll have with that one grandchild. Because if you have more than one grandchild, or if you have more than one child, they are different. It's the same thing with your grandkids\u2014they're all different\u2014so it's trying to find how to really connect and link with that grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then building a legacy with your grandchild\u2014I was thinking about that, coming in here, but a legacy is something of value that you leave. Really, what you're wanting to do is: \u201cWhat do I want to leave with this grandchild?\u201d \u201cWhat is the inheritance I want to give them?\u201d \u201cHow can we do it together?\u2014whether they live nearby or far away.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people don't have a relationship with their grandkids. That's very sad\u2014they have no relationship\u2014but they still can build that legacy. The can still write that grandchild letters; they can still give them that history of family. I know, in this book, there's some stories of people like that, where people discovered grandparents had been praying for them\u2014and they never, ever met the grandparent\u2014and yet that person made a humongous impact on them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Part of that legacy you're talking about is the legacy of who we are as a family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat's our family heritage and history?\u201d and \u201cHow do we see God's hand in the midst of that?\u201d You are the connector for your grandkids. I remember Al Mohler, in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, made the statement\u2014he said, \u201cYou are someone's ancestors. People you will never meet\u2014you are their ancestors.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou're able to connect your grandkids with what's been true about the Larmoyeux family for generations and help them feel connected to something bigger than just their nuclear family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Mary, you talk about the importance of personal stories. As I read that, I resonated because I thought, \u201cOh, I wish I had found out and asked more questions of my grandparents about their parents.\u201d But you talk about actually writing your stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; writing them. Honestly, I think most of us are like that; I'm like that. I think about my grandparents and the things they lived through. It's like I cannot believe that they lived through the Second World War, the Depression\u2014all these things\u2014it was like: \u201cYes, uh huh; you did that.\u201d I never thought much about it until they're gone, and I'm older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, for our grandkids, we need to think about what we're living through now. If you can get their interest\/if they're older, have them ask you some questions and interview you. You can even have them write down some of the family history. I don't think they're thinking that way now, just like we didn't. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But it will come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>It will come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>My daughter\/my oldest daughter grabbed the video camera before my mom passed away. She spent a morning with my mom, interviewing her and getting her on video to talk about: \u201cWhat was like in the Depression?\u201d \u201cWhen did you hear about the bombing of Pearl Harbor?\u201d \u201cWhat was it like going through World War II?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe're going to have grandkids, who are going to say, \u201cTell us about 9-11.\u201d All of this stuff is going to be part of the heritage that our kids are going to want to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell me this\u2014you write about it a little bit in the book\u2014how about the stories of your faith. How do you transfer that down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Well, with the stories of your faith, you can write what happened. I know I've written down how I became a Christian; my husband did that too. One Easter, we both went into detail about it. We saved those letters; because the kids were too little, and we didn't think it was time for them to get that letter. We just gave them a general letter about the meaning of Easter, and Christ rising from the dead, and just our salvation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it's just in our day-to-day lives. It's looking at a beautiful sunrise or sunset and how God has created it. It's sharing a challenge you're going through; maybe with some of the older grandkids. ask them to pray. Let them know how dependent you are on God\/that He really is in your life. It's not just a \u201cGo to church on Sunday\u201d check off the box, but faith is vibrant and alive. That's what I want our grandkids to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to read to you eight verses from Psalm 78, because this is what comes to mind to me when you're talking about this. The Psalmist\u2014this is Asaph, not David\u2014Asaph wrote this psalm; he said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our father's have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell them to the coming generation,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see this whole transference there: fathers, and children, and their children. And what are they telling them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might and the wonders that He has done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou pause there and you look at that verse\u2014passing on the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might and the wonders that He's done\u2014I think part of that means you share the Scriptures with your grandkids. You read them Bible stories: you tell them about what God did with Joseph, and what He did with Abraham, and what He did with Moses, and Daniel, and Jesus. You tell them those things; <em>but<\/em> you also tell them the glorious deeds of the Lord and His might in <em>your<\/em> life and in the life of your family. It's not just what God used to do in the olden days; it's what God's still doing in our life today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe established a testimony in Jacob; appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded to our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know, the children yet unborn, arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then there's this:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've talked, many times before, about the great joy there is, as parents, when your kids are walking in the truth. The parallel part of that is there's great grief, as parents, when your kids aren't walking in the truth. A part of the way that we are faithful to see our children walking in the truth is to follow the instruction of Psalm 78; and pass on the truth about who God is from His Word, but the truth of who God is in your own story and in your own life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to wonder: \u201cDo your grandkids\/are they old enough to know your testimony? Have you ever told them your testimony?\u201d or \u201cHave you shared with them what God's been doing in your life recently?\u201d This is a part of what we're called to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, when you say that\/when you read that, I mean that passage, Psalm 78, has meant a lot to me, as I had to decide when we got married and became a dad, to change a legacy. The legacy was alcohol, and adultery, and divorce; and it's like, \u201cOkay, can the Wilson name be changed?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's interesting\u2014we've mentioned this here before\u2014but as you think about the Ten Commandments, where God says, \u201cThe sins of the father\u201d\u2014which you just sort of hinted at\u2014\u201cwill visit down to the third and fourth generation.\u201d A lot of people don't know what He said next; right there in Exodus 20, He says, \u201cBut showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep my commandments.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we always think, you know, \u201cIf I mess up, it's going to affect my family line\u201d\u2014but He also says\u2014\u201cNo, no, no; if you're righteous and you obey, it doesn't just affect three or four generations\u2014a thousand generations,\u201d which makes me think of a song. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me play you something. This song is very popular right now\u2014I think written by Kari Jobe; I'm not sure; I know she sings it\u2014but there's a bridge. The first time I heard it, I really teared up; because I was thinking about my own life, and the opportunity to change our legacy. She's really reflecting from Exodus 20. It goes\u2014[Dave singing from <em>The Blessing<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it's such a beautiful reminder; that's why I teared up. It's like, \u201cMay His favor be upon you, and your family, and your kids.\u201d And then, when I heard the next line\u2014the first time I ever heard it\u2014\u201cand their kids and their children,\u201d\u2014it was like, \u201cOh, my goodness; what an opportunity God has given us, as grandparents, to impact generation after generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary, your book is helping us do that; it's such a beautiful testament to the legacy God has called us all to leave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it's hopeful, too; because I look at your legacy, Dave\u2014and there were so many hard things in it\u2014and yet I watched you, as a dad with our kids; and it's amazing to see God transform something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it's important, too, to even talk about\u2014like for me, with your family\u2014Dave's mom was an amazing woman, but she also had an alcohol problem; so talking to my kids\u2014like what to say or what not to say. I think it's important for us, as parents: \u201cHow we relay our opinion of their grandparents onto them is very important,\u201d\u2014not to hurt, not to slander their name, not to bring out all the junk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're hurt by your own parents, it can be very easy to do that. Dave, you didn't have the best of legacies in some ways; but you still never talked <em>negatively<\/em> about your parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think my kids loved my mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And yet, we also had some boundaries around situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about that, Mary: \u201cHow can we, as parents\/how can we help that connection with their parents or the kids\u2019 grandparents?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Well, I think they can <em>encourage<\/em> their parents, as far as telling them how important it is for them to connect with their kids. They want them to do that; they want them to share about their past, as far as their family and faith, and things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there's a negative situation like that, I've always thought you need to honor your grandparents, and honor their names. Now, when they reach a certain age\u2014the kids are older\u2014you might want to tell them some of the strengths and some of the weaknesses of a grandparent, just to let them know the reality of life\/the reality of situations. But that would be age-appropriate; I think you'd still want to do it in a way that honors them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that surprised me\u2014I know I became a Christian when I was about 18, actually\u2014but one thing that surprised <em>me<\/em> was all the negative things in the Bible. You know, God doesn't mince words with Noah and all these problems all these people have. I was raised in a family where, if you can't say something nice, you just don't say it. God says many nice things, but He says <em>many<\/em> things that aren't so nice; that's just reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd life itself\u2014we're not in heaven yet\u2014and it's messy. God is a God of grace. I think, when we share, in a loving way, a weakness of maybe an ancestor, we can talk about how we all need grace and we'll <em>all<\/em> fail. And I know\u2014I wrote it in the book; I jotted this down just to remember\u2014it's a quote by Billy Graham; he said, \u201cDon't be bound by the past and its failures, but don't forget its lessons.\u201d I think that would just be what those parents should do\u2014is honor those grandparents, and not to be bound by it, but to learn the lessons and move on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat's what you're doing, Dave; you're moving on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What does a grandparent do if you're trying\u2014especially even with your faith\u2014you're trying to instill things in your grandkids, and your own son and daughter maybe, are telling you: \u201cStay away,\u201d or \u201cCalm it down,\u201d or\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014putting limitations on you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014putting limitations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I think that's a common challenge. I've watched what others have done; and you know, just looked in my own life with different things. I don't think you go beyond the parents\u2019 boundary; you want that relationship with that grandchild, and so you honor that. But in any way possible, where you can share your faith, you do that; but you honor that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a good friend, who is in that situation. She could not send books that were Christian books; she couldn't do anything. She just had to honor it. But you know, as the child gets older, and they know that grandparent, then there will be more opportunities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it could be that you write letters that you never send.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Yes; that's what they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It could be that you write in your Bible that you never give. Someday, it's likely that that child is going to discover something that was written to them, and the story's going to be bigger and more clear. You can still be faithful, even if you can't deliver it in the moment; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Right; right. You can. You can have a whole package of things ready for them when you're dead and gone, for someone to give to that child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I know we all feel this\u2014but especially if you come from a legacy that wasn't godly\/Christ was never really talked about\u2014I've always had this dream that someday\u2014Bob mentioned it earlier\u2014that my great, great, great grandchildren will point out a picture of Dave and Ann Wilson and go: \u201cThere's our legacy; he and she started who we are today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe are the Wilsons, and we believe in Jesus, and we live for the kingdom. It started with them.\u201d You know, that's\u2014I tear up\u2014I mean, I feel like my kids get to do that, but I feel that's my call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; and that's a <em>huge<\/em> call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>It's changing the trajectory of a whole family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and it doesn't end when you become a grandparent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It actually becomes <em>stronger<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the conversations that we can have with our grandkids are priceless and precious. I know that I have had many nights, laying in bed with my granddaughter, and she asks so many questions. I\u2019ve raised three sons; and they didn't ask all these questions, as a five-year-old. She was telling me the other night; she said, \u201cNonny, I've been telling my friends all about how you and Poppy tell everyone in the world about Jesus.\u201d And she's so open; she said, \u201cDo you think that I should talk more about Him?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so these conversations\u2014you know, as a parent you're more rushed\u2014but as a grandparent, I sat there in that bed that night, tears just falling down my cheeks, thinking, \u201cI want this girl to know Jesus and she, already, is tasting that.\u201d I told her, \u201cOlive, we are going to travel around the world and tell people about Jesus.\u201d And she's like, \u201cWhen are we going?\u201d\u2014you know? These are just precious, precious times. We need to take every moment, and just take that in, because they're precious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mary, this is such a great gift\u2014to have your book, your thoughts, your help on this. If you were sitting down with somebody, who found out that they're going to be a grandparent\u2014their first grandchild has not been born yet; it's just around the corner\u2014so they're about to enter in to this phase; and they said: \u201cWhat's your best one piece of advice? What's the one thing you'd tell me as I move into these years?\u201d\u2014do you know what it would be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I'd say love unconditionally and pray for that grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere's nothing like being a grandparent. People tell you that; and you don't know it until you see that first grandbaby; and you hold that grandchild. And then you see your legacy going on. There's no way to explain it. It just happens; it's a God-given emotion when you hold that grandbaby, but you'll never be the same. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Let me give just one more tip, too, to parents. I think sometimes as grandparents, we can feel insecure in what they want our role to be. So to even have that conversation with your own kids. I know that I've asked: \u201cWhat do you guys desire? What does that look like for your kids?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can feel insecure thinking: \u201cDo they want us?\u201d \u201cDo they not want us?\u201d I think it's just an open, great conversation to have: \u201cWhat would you like it to look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I can guarantee you this: \u201cThe grandkids want you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Yes; they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cSo be there!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; right. I agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mary, thanks for being with us. Thanks for this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Thank you, Bob. Thank y'all for having me today. I've enjoyed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We hope our listeners will get a copy. In fact, we're making your book available this week to listeners who can help support the ministry of FamilyLife. We are listener-supported. The fact that we had this conversation today\u2014and hundreds of thousands of people have been with us for the conversation\u2014all of that has happened because listeners, like you, have made it happen by supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're a regular long-time listener, then we invite you to join the team that makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible, not only for you, but people in your community and people all around the world. When you donate today, we'll send you a copy of Mary Larmoyeux's book, <em>One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection<\/em>. It's our thank-you gift when you make a donation. Again, you can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or donate by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that's 1-800-\u201dF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here at FamilyLife, you guys know this, we're all about helping build stronger relationships in marriages, in families, in extended family relationships. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We know that in 2020, it's been quite a year; and it's been a challenging year for a lot of families. A lot of marriages have faced strain and pressure that has been unusual for all of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've put together a resource online that we're making available to you for free. It's called \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great.\u201d When you access this online, you'll have available to you a couple of short online video courses that can help you understand your differences in marriage better; can help you resolve conflict more effectively. There are audio messages from Paul David Tripp, and Voddie Baucham, Juli Slattery, Gary Chapman that we're making available; downloadable resources\u2014all of this to help you, as a couple, strengthen the foundation of your marriage relationship. Again, it's <em>all<\/em> available for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a little extra incentive to get you engaged with this\u2014everybody who signs ups to get this content\u2014we're going to draw a name here, in a few weeks, and one of you will be selected to join us at FamilyLife for an upcoming <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session, and then dinner that night with Dave and Ann Wilson. We'll cover the cost of bringing you here, and putting you up, and some spending money while you're here. All you have to do to be eligible to win that trip is to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and register. There's no purchase necessary. The contest ends August 14. Restrictions apply; official rules can be found at FamilyLifeToday.com. We hope you'll take advantage of this content; and then, we look forward to seeing one couple, here, at FamilyLife for an upcoming recording session.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we're going to talk more about love and what real love looks like. I think \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmost of us tend to have a Hollywood version of love rather than a biblical version of love. When we think about love in marriage, what should that look like? We'll have that conversation tomorrow. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:34"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.07M"],"filesize_raw":["28381975"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306291.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306291.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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is so much fun that comes with being a grandparent\u00e2\u20ac\"sleepovers, reading books together, and connecting with each grandchild uniquely. Mary Larmoyeux explains the lasting value of grandparents.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-07-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You've probably seen the bumper sticker that says \u201cIf I'd known grandchildren were going to be this great, I'd have had them first\u201d?\u00a0 Mary\u00a0 Larmoyeux says she agrees.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary<\/strong>: There's nothing like being a grandparent; people tell you that, and you don't know it until you see that first grandbaby, and you hold that grandchild, and then you see your legacy going on. There's no way to explain it; it just happens. It's just a God-given emotion when you hold that grandbaby, but you'll never be the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 28<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. There is a lot of sentiment attached to being a grandparent, but there's a lot of work involved too. We'll talk today about our assignment to be more intentional as grandparents. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you have special memories of grandparents, who came to visit you or who lived nearby? What do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, my grandmother, Faye\u2014I called her Nana\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014which Ann is named after: Faye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014she spoiled me. Every school year, at the beginning of the school year, she would take me shopping. We were tight on money, but my grandmother would let me pick out a special school outfit for the year; and she would buy all the accessories with it. I just thought it was the best day of the year for me\u2014sometimes better than Christmas\u2014because all the attention was on <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have so many memories of her. I remember thinking, \u201cI want to be just like <em>her<\/em>,\u201d\u2014probably more so than even my mom\u2014because I had a connection with her that was very unique; maybe because I was named after her? She still is one of my most fond memories and one of my most favorite people in the whole world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dave, what about you? Any grandparent memories that stand out? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I didn't know my dad's parents; I think I met them one time, and I don't even remember. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>My mom's parents probably were the rock when I went through the divorce when I was seven, and my little brother dying when I was eight. I can remember going to Hallie and Leland's house. I don\u2019t remember what I called them; I don\u2019t know what I called them. But just as I think about walking in their back door, I feel loved; I feel safe; I feel joy. I didn't feel that very many places in my life at that time, so they were the source of\u2014actually, my grandfather was very strict\u2014I won't even say some of the words I can remember him saying. [Laughter] His wife\/my grandmother\u2014she was a lover of me and made me believe in myself. It was a comforting space in the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We're talking about the power and the importance of grandparents this week on <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Mary Larmoyeux is joining us. Welcome back, Mary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Thank you. It's great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Mary was a long-time member of our team, here, at Family Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014many articles, still online at FamilyLife.com, that Mary authored. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has written a book called <em>One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection <\/em>that really takes us into your experience as a grandparent; but you're coaching the rest of us and saying: \u201cThis is a divine assignment for you. If you have grandkids, God's got a purpose for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; as far as you have a divine assignment for your children, same thing with your grandchildren. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What's the <em>One-of-a-Kind<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Oh, <em>One-of-a-Kind<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What did you mean by that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Each grandchild and each person\u2014there's a unique connection that you'll have with that one grandchild. Because if you have more than one grandchild, or if you have more than one child, they are different. It's the same thing with your grandkids\u2014they're all different\u2014so it's trying to find how to really connect and link with that grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then building a legacy with your grandchild\u2014I was thinking about that, coming in here, but a legacy is something of value that you leave. Really, what you're wanting to do is: \u201cWhat do I want to leave with this grandchild?\u201d \u201cWhat is the inheritance I want to give them?\u201d \u201cHow can we do it together?\u2014whether they live nearby or far away.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people don't have a relationship with their grandkids. That's very sad\u2014they have no relationship\u2014but they still can build that legacy. The can still write that grandchild letters; they can still give them that history of family. I know, in this book, there's some stories of people like that, where people discovered grandparents had been praying for them\u2014and they never, ever met the grandparent\u2014and yet that person made a humongous impact on them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Part of that legacy you're talking about is the legacy of who we are as a family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cWhat's our family heritage and history?\u201d and \u201cHow do we see God's hand in the midst of that?\u201d You are the connector for your grandkids. I remember Al Mohler, in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, made the statement\u2014he said, \u201cYou are someone's ancestors. People you will never meet\u2014you are their ancestors.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou're able to connect your grandkids with what's been true about the Larmoyeux family for generations and help them feel connected to something bigger than just their nuclear family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Mary, you talk about the importance of personal stories. As I read that, I resonated because I thought, \u201cOh, I wish I had found out and asked more questions of my grandparents about their parents.\u201d But you talk about actually writing your stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; writing them. Honestly, I think most of us are like that; I'm like that. I think about my grandparents and the things they lived through. It's like I cannot believe that they lived through the Second World War, the Depression\u2014all these things\u2014it was like: \u201cYes, uh huh; you did that.\u201d I never thought much about it until they're gone, and I'm older. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, for our grandkids, we need to think about what we're living through now. If you can get their interest\/if they're older, have them ask you some questions and interview you. You can even have them write down some of the family history. I don't think they're thinking that way now, just like we didn't. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But it will come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>It will come. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>My daughter\/my oldest daughter grabbed the video camera before my mom passed away. She spent a morning with my mom, interviewing her and getting her on video to talk about: \u201cWhat was like in the Depression?\u201d \u201cWhen did you hear about the bombing of Pearl Harbor?\u201d \u201cWhat was it like going through World War II?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe're going to have grandkids, who are going to say, \u201cTell us about 9-11.\u201d All of this stuff is going to be part of the heritage that our kids are going to want to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Tell me this\u2014you write about it a little bit in the book\u2014how about the stories of your faith. How do you transfer that down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Well, with the stories of your faith, you can write what happened. I know I've written down how I became a Christian; my husband did that too. One Easter, we both went into detail about it. We saved those letters; because the kids were too little, and we didn't think it was time for them to get that letter. We just gave them a general letter about the meaning of Easter, and Christ rising from the dead, and just our salvation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it's just in our day-to-day lives. It's looking at a beautiful sunrise or sunset and how God has created it. It's sharing a challenge you're going through; maybe with some of the older grandkids. ask them to pray. Let them know how dependent you are on God\/that He really is in your life. It's not just a \u201cGo to church on Sunday\u201d check off the box, but faith is vibrant and alive. That's what I want our grandkids to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to read to you eight verses from Psalm 78, because this is what comes to mind to me when you're talking about this. The Psalmist\u2014this is Asaph, not David\u2014Asaph wrote this psalm; he said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our father's have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell them to the coming generation,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see this whole transference there: fathers, and children, and their children. And what are they telling them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might and the wonders that He has done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou pause there and you look at that verse\u2014passing on the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might and the wonders that He's done\u2014I think part of that means you share the Scriptures with your grandkids. You read them Bible stories: you tell them about what God did with Joseph, and what He did with Abraham, and what He did with Moses, and Daniel, and Jesus. You tell them those things; <em>but<\/em> you also tell them the glorious deeds of the Lord and His might in <em>your<\/em> life and in the life of your family. It's not just what God used to do in the olden days; it's what God's still doing in our life today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to say:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe established a testimony in Jacob; appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded to our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know, the children yet unborn, arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then there's this:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've talked, many times before, about the great joy there is, as parents, when your kids are walking in the truth. The parallel part of that is there's great grief, as parents, when your kids aren't walking in the truth. A part of the way that we are faithful to see our children walking in the truth is to follow the instruction of Psalm 78; and pass on the truth about who God is from His Word, but the truth of who God is in your own story and in your own life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to wonder: \u201cDo your grandkids\/are they old enough to know your testimony? Have you ever told them your testimony?\u201d or \u201cHave you shared with them what God's been doing in your life recently?\u201d This is a part of what we're called to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, when you say that\/when you read that, I mean that passage, Psalm 78, has meant a lot to me, as I had to decide when we got married and became a dad, to change a legacy. The legacy was alcohol, and adultery, and divorce; and it's like, \u201cOkay, can the Wilson name be changed?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's interesting\u2014we've mentioned this here before\u2014but as you think about the Ten Commandments, where God says, \u201cThe sins of the father\u201d\u2014which you just sort of hinted at\u2014\u201cwill visit down to the third and fourth generation.\u201d A lot of people don't know what He said next; right there in Exodus 20, He says, \u201cBut showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep my commandments.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we always think, you know, \u201cIf I mess up, it's going to affect my family line\u201d\u2014but He also says\u2014\u201cNo, no, no; if you're righteous and you obey, it doesn't just affect three or four generations\u2014a thousand generations,\u201d which makes me think of a song. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me play you something. This song is very popular right now\u2014I think written by Kari Jobe; I'm not sure; I know she sings it\u2014but there's a bridge. The first time I heard it, I really teared up; because I was thinking about my own life, and the opportunity to change our legacy. She's really reflecting from Exodus 20. It goes\u2014[Dave singing from <em>The Blessing<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it's such a beautiful reminder; that's why I teared up. It's like, \u201cMay His favor be upon you, and your family, and your kids.\u201d And then, when I heard the next line\u2014the first time I ever heard it\u2014\u201cand their kids and their children,\u201d\u2014it was like, \u201cOh, my goodness; what an opportunity God has given us, as grandparents, to impact generation after generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary, your book is helping us do that; it's such a beautiful testament to the legacy God has called us all to leave.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it's hopeful, too; because I look at your legacy, Dave\u2014and there were so many hard things in it\u2014and yet I watched you, as a dad with our kids; and it's amazing to see God transform something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it's important, too, to even talk about\u2014like for me, with your family\u2014Dave's mom was an amazing woman, but she also had an alcohol problem; so talking to my kids\u2014like what to say or what not to say. I think it's important for us, as parents: \u201cHow we relay our opinion of their grandparents onto them is very important,\u201d\u2014not to hurt, not to slander their name, not to bring out all the junk. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're hurt by your own parents, it can be very easy to do that. Dave, you didn't have the best of legacies in some ways; but you still never talked <em>negatively<\/em> about your parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I think my kids loved my mom and dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And yet, we also had some boundaries around situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about that, Mary: \u201cHow can we, as parents\/how can we help that connection with their parents or the kids\u2019 grandparents?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Well, I think they can <em>encourage<\/em> their parents, as far as telling them how important it is for them to connect with their kids. They want them to do that; they want them to share about their past, as far as their family and faith, and things like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there's a negative situation like that, I've always thought you need to honor your grandparents, and honor their names. Now, when they reach a certain age\u2014the kids are older\u2014you might want to tell them some of the strengths and some of the weaknesses of a grandparent, just to let them know the reality of life\/the reality of situations. But that would be age-appropriate; I think you'd still want to do it in a way that honors them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that surprised me\u2014I know I became a Christian when I was about 18, actually\u2014but one thing that surprised <em>me<\/em> was all the negative things in the Bible. You know, God doesn't mince words with Noah and all these problems all these people have. I was raised in a family where, if you can't say something nice, you just don't say it. God says many nice things, but He says <em>many<\/em> things that aren't so nice; that's just reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd life itself\u2014we're not in heaven yet\u2014and it's messy. God is a God of grace. I think, when we share, in a loving way, a weakness of maybe an ancestor, we can talk about how we all need grace and we'll <em>all<\/em> fail. And I know\u2014I wrote it in the book; I jotted this down just to remember\u2014it's a quote by Billy Graham; he said, \u201cDon't be bound by the past and its failures, but don't forget its lessons.\u201d I think that would just be what those parents should do\u2014is honor those grandparents, and not to be bound by it, but to learn the lessons and move on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat's what you're doing, Dave; you're moving on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What does a grandparent do if you're trying\u2014especially even with your faith\u2014you're trying to instill things in your grandkids, and your own son and daughter maybe, are telling you: \u201cStay away,\u201d or \u201cCalm it down,\u201d or\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014putting limitations on you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014putting limitations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I think that's a common challenge. I've watched what others have done; and you know, just looked in my own life with different things. I don't think you go beyond the parents\u2019 boundary; you want that relationship with that grandchild, and so you honor that. But in any way possible, where you can share your faith, you do that; but you honor that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a good friend, who is in that situation. She could not send books that were Christian books; she couldn't do anything. She just had to honor it. But you know, as the child gets older, and they know that grandparent, then there will be more opportunities. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it could be that you write letters that you never send.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Yes; that's what they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It could be that you write in your Bible that you never give. Someday, it's likely that that child is going to discover something that was written to them, and the story's going to be bigger and more clear. You can still be faithful, even if you can't deliver it in the moment; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Right; right. You can. You can have a whole package of things ready for them when you're dead and gone, for someone to give to that child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I know we all feel this\u2014but especially if you come from a legacy that wasn't godly\/Christ was never really talked about\u2014I've always had this dream that someday\u2014Bob mentioned it earlier\u2014that my great, great, great grandchildren will point out a picture of Dave and Ann Wilson and go: \u201cThere's our legacy; he and she started who we are today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe are the Wilsons, and we believe in Jesus, and we live for the kingdom. It started with them.\u201d You know, that's\u2014I tear up\u2014I mean, I feel like my kids get to do that, but I feel that's my call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; and that's a <em>huge<\/em> call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>It's changing the trajectory of a whole family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and it doesn't end when you become a grandparent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It actually becomes <em>stronger<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the conversations that we can have with our grandkids are priceless and precious. I know that I have had many nights, laying in bed with my granddaughter, and she asks so many questions. I\u2019ve raised three sons; and they didn't ask all these questions, as a five-year-old. She was telling me the other night; she said, \u201cNonny, I've been telling my friends all about how you and Poppy tell everyone in the world about Jesus.\u201d And she's so open; she said, \u201cDo you think that I should talk more about Him?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so these conversations\u2014you know, as a parent you're more rushed\u2014but as a grandparent, I sat there in that bed that night, tears just falling down my cheeks, thinking, \u201cI want this girl to know Jesus and she, already, is tasting that.\u201d I told her, \u201cOlive, we are going to travel around the world and tell people about Jesus.\u201d And she's like, \u201cWhen are we going?\u201d\u2014you know? These are just precious, precious times. We need to take every moment, and just take that in, because they're precious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mary, this is such a great gift\u2014to have your book, your thoughts, your help on this. If you were sitting down with somebody, who found out that they're going to be a grandparent\u2014their first grandchild has not been born yet; it's just around the corner\u2014so they're about to enter in to this phase; and they said: \u201cWhat's your best one piece of advice? What's the one thing you'd tell me as I move into these years?\u201d\u2014do you know what it would be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I'd say love unconditionally and pray for that grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere's nothing like being a grandparent. People tell you that; and you don't know it until you see that first grandbaby; and you hold that grandchild. And then you see your legacy going on. There's no way to explain it. It just happens; it's a God-given emotion when you hold that grandbaby, but you'll never be the same. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Let me give just one more tip, too, to parents. I think sometimes as grandparents, we can feel insecure in what they want our role to be. So to even have that conversation with your own kids. I know that I've asked: \u201cWhat do you guys desire? What does that look like for your kids?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can feel insecure thinking: \u201cDo they want us?\u201d \u201cDo they not want us?\u201d I think it's just an open, great conversation to have: \u201cWhat would you like it to look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I can guarantee you this: \u201cThe grandkids want you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Yes; they do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cSo be there!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Right; right. I agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mary, thanks for being with us. Thanks for this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary: <\/strong>Thank you, Bob. Thank y'all for having me today. I've enjoyed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We hope our listeners will get a copy. In fact, we're making your book available this week to listeners who can help support the ministry of FamilyLife. We are listener-supported. The fact that we had this conversation today\u2014and hundreds of thousands of people have been with us for the conversation\u2014all of that has happened because listeners, like you, have made it happen by supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're a regular long-time listener, then we invite you to join the team that makes <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible, not only for you, but people in your community and people all around the world. When you donate today, we'll send you a copy of Mary Larmoyeux's book, <em>One-of-a-Kind Grandparent Connection<\/em>. It's our thank-you gift when you make a donation. Again, you can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or donate by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that's 1-800-\u201dF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here at FamilyLife, you guys know this, we're all about helping build stronger relationships in marriages, in families, in extended family relationships. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We know that in 2020, it's been quite a year; and it's been a challenging year for a lot of families. A lot of marriages have faced strain and pressure that has been unusual for all of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've put together a resource online that we're making available to you for free. It's called \u201cTake Your Marriage from Good to Great.\u201d When you access this online, you'll have available to you a couple of short online video courses that can help you understand your differences in marriage better; can help you resolve conflict more effectively. There are audio messages from Paul David Tripp, and Voddie Baucham, Juli Slattery, Gary Chapman that we're making available; downloadable resources\u2014all of this to help you, as a couple, strengthen the foundation of your marriage relationship. Again, it's <em>all<\/em> available for free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a little extra incentive to get you engaged with this\u2014everybody who signs ups to get this content\u2014we're going to draw a name here, in a few weeks, and one of you will be selected to join us at FamilyLife for an upcoming <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> recording session, and then dinner that night with Dave and Ann Wilson. We'll cover the cost of bringing you here, and putting you up, and some spending money while you're here. All you have to do to be eligible to win that trip is to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and register. There's no purchase necessary. The contest ends August 14. Restrictions apply; official rules can be found at FamilyLifeToday.com. We hope you'll take advantage of this content; and then, we look forward to seeing one couple, here, at FamilyLife for an upcoming recording session.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we're going to talk more about love and what real love looks like. I think \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmost of us tend to have a Hollywood version of love rather than a biblical version of love. When we think about love in marriage, what should that look like? We'll have that conversation tomorrow. I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306291"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306291"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306291"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306291"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}