{"id":306197,"date":"2020-06-22T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-06-22T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out\/"},"modified":"2020-06-22T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-06-22T11:00:05","slug":"holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Holding on When You Can&#8217;t Hold Out"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not many couples want to pattern their marriage after the book of Job. But Jeff and Sarah Walton, hit time and again with heart-crushing circumstances, began to find great comfort and wisdom in those pages.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-06-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:04","filesize":"22.95M","filesize_raw":"24066260","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2860],"tags":[6910],"podcast_series":[8370],"cwp_profile":[9633],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306197","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-hardship-and-suffering","tag-life-is-hard","podcast_series-together-through-the-storms","cwp_profile-jeff-and-sarah-walton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306197\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306197\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"SeYlwdbHEp\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out\/\">Holding on When You Can&#8217;t Hold Out<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/holding-on-when-you-cant-hold-out\/embed\/#?secret=SeYlwdbHEp\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Holding on When You Can&#8217;t Hold Out&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"SeYlwdbHEp\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-06-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-06-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When stress and pressure go up in a family, so does marital tension and conflict. That\u2019s what Jeff and Sarah Walton experienced. Jeff had a high-demand job, providing medical supplies for surgeons. He had to be available on a moment\u2019s notice to what those surgeons needed. Meanwhile, Sarah was home with kids, including a special needs child who was acting out. She needed her husband\u2019s help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I mean, there was really no easy solution in those moments. He knew that, if he didn\u2019t show up at that surgery, he could lose that doctor\u2019s business. I knew that; so I really did try to be understanding to that and tell myself: \u201cI know he would be here if he could. I do believe he\u2019d be here if he could\u201d; but I felt like I needed him more than any other time. I remember saying to him, \u201cI\u2019m waving the white flag; this is a time when I need you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What happens during stressful times in your marriage will either drive you apart or <em>can<\/em> bring you closer together as a couple. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Jeff and Sarah Walton. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So when was the last time you read Job, Chapter 1? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I read it every day, Bob\u2014[Laughter]\u2014my favorite chapter in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to admit that I read the Bible through every year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> When I get to Job, I\u2019m always like, \u201cOh no!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t want to read it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> because it makes me <em>sad<\/em> and scared. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Chapter 1 is this chapter where Satan comes before the Lord and says, \u201cYou know these people, who are following you\u2014Job and his family\u2014they are just following you because you bless them.\u201d And God says, \u201cOkay; you have permission to take them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthrough and see what happens.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s the part I don\u2019t like! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is my question, Bob. As you get ready to introduce them, have you ever thought about writing a <em>marriage<\/em> book based on the Book of Job? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Never had the idea. In fact, I\u2019m not sure how many people, like Ann, would want to buy that book; right?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014except that it\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> and profound book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We all suffer and go through times of suffering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJeff and Sarah Walton join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys, welcome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Thank you very much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Thank you so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff and Sarah live in suburban Chicago. They are graduates of Taylor University. They are the parents of four kids and have written a book called <em>Together Through the Storm<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s been a storm; it\u2019s been 16 years of marriage, right? And it\u2019s not been 16 uneventful years for you. How long, after you were married, did you experience your first \u201cOh, we have a major bump in the road here\u201d? Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> We had just moved; he had just gotten this job. He had been working at a station hotel, and he had just gotten hired as a medical sales trauma consultant; so he was going to start being on call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> We had just moved to be closer to the territory that he would be in, and I found out I was pregnant. It was about two years after our marriage. After I had our oldest\u2014I think he was seven weeks old\u2014he suddenly spiked a fever. Anybody who knows, when a baby that young spikes a fever\u2014and it was like 102.5 fever; it was pretty high\u2014we were rushed to the hospital with him. They did a spinal tap; they did all sorts of things. They informed us something very, very serious was going on; but they didn\u2019t know exactly what. We were told this could be meningitis; this could be leukemia; this could be this option; \u2026.this option. Each one was kind of worse than the last. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe ended up being there for five days. He was pretty much lethargic the whole time. He was on very heavy doses of antibiotics, and we had no answers. Every day was new options of what this could be. They had taken sample after sample. His white blood cells were skyrocketing; his red were dropping. It didn\u2019t look good at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you stoic, or were you fearful? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I think we were in a little in <em>shock<\/em>. I had just had a baby seven weeks ago, and it was all new; this was just thrown at us. Actually, I remember it was our anniversary when we were in the hospital. I think it was our third year anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> For me, I was really fearful. I think, when I\/you head into being a parent for the first time\u2014and just like marriage\u2014you think everything is going to go well\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014there is not going to be the bump, initially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we came into that, and had the bump in our road within the first two months, I remember even calling my parents from the hospital and trying to get out, over the phone, what they were starting to look at. My voice was just <em>gone<\/em>; I was just in tears, so overwhelmed by a ton of emotion and just everything flashing before our eyes of: \u201cWhat is going on? Our life is about to change,\u201d\u2014just the unexpected before us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; so, anyway, after five days, they basically said: \u201cNothing has come back. We can\u2019t find what\u2019s wrong. We can tell he has a severe infection, but we don\u2019t know what.\u201d At that\u2014I think it was the fifth day\u2014his numbers stabilized. They didn\u2019t really improve, but they stopped going in the wrong direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey sent us home. They said: \u201cWe are sending you home with an unknown infection, and we will monitor. If anything else comes back, we will immediately get in touch with you.\u201d That was kind of it. After we went home, I think we were a little bit in shock, like, \u201cWhat just happened?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You weren\u2019t like feeling relief? You were like, \u201cWell\u2026?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It was such a <em>sudden<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014up and down. We still didn\u2019t have <em>answers<\/em>, so it wasn\u2019t like it was nice closure\u2014like: \u201cNow, we know what happened. He was healed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Was he healed? Was he still lethargic? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Each day he got better, and he was seeming like he was back to normal; but the rest of that year, he seemed susceptible to infections. He got a really bad flu and lost a lot of weight; but overall, we thought, \u201cThat was a testing ground for us.\u201d God really\u2014that was our first real major test as a couple\u2014and I think I thought, like: \u201cOkay; we\u2019ve made it through that,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWe survived that. We really did lean into the Lord.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were terrified, of course; but I did see us cling to the Lord in that\u2014that we had to come to grips with: \u201cGod has given us this child. If He takes him from us, can we trust Him?\u201d That was really hard to wrestle with, but I think it forced us to ask that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> The ironic thing is\u2014one of the verses that we dedicated our son to\u2014was that he be lent from the Lord; and so, that put into clarity really soon of: \u201cAre we really holding loosely to a son? He is a gift from God. Now, we have the choice of fully trusting in God; or are we going to try and grip and just do it on our own strength?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFacing that reality, within the first couple months, I think has really been a launching point then for what we\u2019ve faced in the 12 years since, and just with parenthood in general. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> His first year, you continued to have health, up and down; still no diagnosis of what\u2019s going on with him. Did you ever get a diagnosis? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s been 12 years of several different doctors. It started out as the health scare. It was\/I think we just assumed that life was going on as normal, other than certain\u2014you know, getting sick a little bit easier\u2014things like that; but by the time he was able to crawl\u2014I think it was about 18 months, as he started crawling and walking\u2014we noticed he just kept repetitively going back to things he shouldn\u2019t do\u2014knocking things off of shelves\u2014just had a little bit of a destructive type of nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would try all sorts of little parenting techniques. You know, you\u2019re told all the different ways to do it\/handle these situations: \u201c\u2026to redirect,\u201d \u201cGive a little hand swat, say, \u2018No; no.\u2019\u201d We went from one to the next to the next; and it just seemed to get harder, and harder, and harder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs he got <em>older<\/em>, it started to turn into severe tantrums and strange behaviors that we couldn\u2019t quite figure out what it meant. We tried all sorts of parenting techniques to try to help train him to listen and all the things you are taught as a Christian parent. We took all these different Christian parenting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> At that point, were you thinking this had anything to do with that initial infection? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No; I don\u2019t think we had\u2014honestly, at that point\u2014I think we just thought: \u201cWe have a really strong-willed kid. We just probably have the strongest-willed kid on the face of the planet.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know: \u201cParents of strong-willed kids are just bad parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] That\u2019s the initial thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cIf they really knew what they were doing, that kid would be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbehaving right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; exactly; exactly. Yes; it was starting to increase to the point, where I had a hard time going to playdates. He would hurt kids; it was very impulsive behavior\u2014stuff I couldn\u2019t see coming\u2014so I was on alert every moment I was anywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Was he hitting his milestone markers in development? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> He was, other than talking\u2014he was a little delayed in speech\u2014but otherwise, I think that was what was <em>so<\/em> confusing. He seemed to be developing relatively normally, but there were these behaviors that we couldn\u2019t make sense of. Because he was our first, we just didn\u2019t really know if there was anything wrong; or \u201cIs this just kind of the way he is, and we have to adapt to that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, it probably wasn\u2019t until he turned four\u2014and we had just moved\u2014he actually got an infection. I believe he got strep, and he was put on antibiotics. Something happened in him; and it became\/he became erratic\u2014just screaming, shrieking, banging into walls, hitting, and doing anything\/throwing everything\u2014within, I mean, a matter of hours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, what finally made us realize: \u201cSomething is <em>not<\/em> right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u201cSomething is going on.\u201d That\u2019s what initially launched us into searching out for a doctor that could, maybe, just figure out: \u201cIs this abnormal? If so, what are we dealing with?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat began our search for doctors. We just began with pediatricians; they didn\u2019t really know. We started with the lowest we could: just changing diets, vitamins\/increasing nutrients that he was clearly depleted in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The internet had all the answers you needed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It does; it does. [Laughter] You know, you can <em>believe<\/em> everything you read on the internet. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, at age four, he is\u2014are you thinking, \u201cAutism\u201d? Are you thinking, \u201cDevelopmentally disabled in some way\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. I think the closest we would have thought, at that point, was autism. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But what was <em>so<\/em> confusing to us is\u2014he also could seem <em>completely normal<\/em>, so it <em>wasn\u2019t<\/em> consistent. There would be times where he was a sweet, bright, very engaging little boy; he was funny. But every day\/good portions of the day would be these things that would be triggered in him that would last two hours\/three hours of screaming tantrums. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re a stay-at-home mom; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you just <em>exhausted<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> All the time; all the time. I had no\u2014I mean, nobody knew; I didn\u2019t know what to tell anybody. Taking him to a store, I would leave with him screaming and hitting me. We\u2019d be caught in really scary situations in the car that I couldn\u2019t control. It got harder with other\/once we had other kids as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Were you wondering, \u201cWhat am I doing wrong?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> All the time! I mean, you are doubting yourself every step of the way, especially as a Christian parent. I\u2019m thinking: \u201cI\u2019m reading these Scriptures. I\u2019m trying to find out \u2018How to raise and parent your kids.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I\u2019m listening to FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I mean, we were really\/we were really <em>seeking<\/em> wisdom; and we would reach out to other Christian parents that we respected. I remember we would take advice, we\u2019d try to implement it, and it would make our situation <em>worse<\/em>. It was so\u2014it would leave us feeling really, really kind of despairing like, \u201cWhat are we doing wrong?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff, how are <em>you<\/em> handling all of this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes; I think the ironic thing was\u2014during this time, as Sarah had mentioned, I was in medical device sales\u2014and we are trying to figure this out on the fly. So much of that, with being a first-time parent, you don\u2019t know what you don\u2019t know. You just kind of go from one day to the next and kind of plow through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was in this role\u2014and on call 24\/7, being called out at a moment\u2019s notice and not knowing what the next day will bring\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you were bringing parts into surgery\/medical devices into surgery. You\u2019d get called into a trauma case. I\u2019m thinking of a guy in medical sales; I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHe goes to the doctor\u2019s office at 10 in the morning, and he is done at 5\u201d; but yours was a <em>unique<\/em> kind of situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It really was. It was for orthopedic trauma; and knowing that those accidents happen around the clock, and I did not have normal hours. They don\u2019t take off for holidays and weekends and all those special events, which created a lot of tension\/growing tension throughout the nine years that I was doing this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, one of the biggest challenges, really\u2014where that was the difficulties at home and everything that we had\u2014Sarah\u2019s world was in that 24 hours a day; and I was in and out, like a revolving door. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Could be gone for 12 hours, back home for an hour, and then get another call and have to rush out. Just probably, my nature\u2014like many guys in general\u2014you can kind of turn the page, and now you\u2019re plugging into work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We call that compartmentalization. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s a <em>wonderful<\/em> thing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Not really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s not; is it, Sarah?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No; drives me nuts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It is wonderful until you come back home\u2014and you feel like you\u2019ve moved on from that situation or that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014and there it is. You\u2019re right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So this is all affecting your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, yes. It was a lot, especially because I would be walking through, really, a lot of very scary situations. I was doing it on my own, while having other kids that I needed to somehow care for. I would have to be in a room, restraining our son, while the other kids had to take care of themselves. I would come out from those, physically\/emotionally depleted. Then that would often happen several times a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe would come home; and I didn\u2019t even know how to explain to him what had happened. I couldn\u2019t explain to him\/I couldn\u2019t explain to him the terrifying moments or how it feels, as a mom, to be\u2014have words and actions spoken and done to you, from a child that you are called to love and care for, and deep-down knowing that he wants that; but he couldn\u2019t control it\u2014so having to be that nurturer while, at the same time, feeling kind of like at the hand of an abuser, in a sense, at times; because he couldn\u2019t help it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You might be looking, thinking, \u201cWell, Jeff will be home, and I\u2019ll get a break.\u201d Then Jeff comes home, and he\u2019s got to go back out immediately; and what you were counting on\u2014you\u2019re depleted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, all of a sudden, Jeff is the <em>bad<\/em> guy in all of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; it was\/there was really no easy solution in those moments. He knew that, if he didn\u2019t show up at that surgery, he could lose that doctor\u2019s business. I knew that; so I really did try to be understanding to that and tell myself, \u201cI know he\u2019d be here if he could\u201d; but there would be\/there became situations, where I felt like I needed him more than any other time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How did you handle? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I remember saying to him: \u201cI\u2019m waving the white flag. This is a time when I need you, and I know you have to go. I support you as much as I can in that, but this is a moment that I need you.\u201d We had probably, on one hand, those white flags were waved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff, let me ask you about those white-flag moments; because I\u2019m thinking, as a guy, who\u2019s going: \u201cThis is my job\/my responsibility. I\u2019ve got to go do this. I\u2019m providing for my family. I don\u2019t have an option here. My wife needs me. Is this the point, where I call the doctor and say, \u2018I can\u2019t come, because my wife needs me\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel the tension you\u2019d be in at that moment, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s the right thing before the Lord to do here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes; and I wrestled with that <em>tremendously<\/em>\u2014knowing that what I thought I was doing, in that moment\/in those moments, I thought I was doing the honorable thing; I was providing for my family. I was being loyal to the surgeons that I was calling on; and knowing that, by not showing up, they were so easy to flip and go to a competitor. That fear was in me\/the fear of man. Where that started to consume was: I didn\u2019t have a boundary or a line in the sand that said, \u201cIf this happens, and if Sarah cries out to me, then I\u2019m going to stay home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the biggest challenge was all of this is often hidden. You know\u2014what was going on in our home\u2014no one knew what was going on, externally. If I say to a doctor that my wife needs me at home\u2014we\u2019re having an issue going on\u2014that just doesn\u2019t resonant well; but if your son is in the ER because of an emergency\/a broken bone or something that might make more sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t have those; so by not having a clear answer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014of why I could maybe get out of this and, at least, get an excuse\u2014that presented a lot of problems; because I chose work over being home. I thought I was really trying to do what was best for our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As you look back <em>now<\/em>, would you do it differently?\u2014or could you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> I think I would have needed to. Like Sarah said, it\u2019s only a couple times throughout those nine years that she was crying out. I walked out of the door and, again, went to turn that page and put my foot in the door in the hospital; and she was left home, getting the brunt of everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKnowing what that did, ultimately, to our marriage\u2014and how that was a huge challenge and something that we\u2019ve had to work greatly through\u2014I should have made a different decision. Again, a case by case\u2014everyone\u2019s work and industry that they\u2019re in, there is always different challenges\u2014but \u201cIs it to the point where I put my work above my family?\u201d There has to be a line where family is going to come first; and certainly, with our desperate situation, I did not show that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sarah, there are some wives, who are waving the white flag every day when their husband leaves; and the husband is in a no-win situation. It\u2019s like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the wife is so needy and dependent; she\u2019s got no other support system. She\u2019s depending on him to be <em>everything<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014including be Jesus for her in that moment\u2014so you can see the tension. Some husbands feel like, \u201cIf I said, \u2018Yes, every time my wife waved the white flag, I\u2019d be out of work.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. No, that\u2019s definitely true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you feeling that tension that he might lose business? You guys might not have income if you waved this white flag? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; I mean it was, like I said earlier, there was really no right decision in many ways. It was just a <em>bad<\/em> situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What were the ages of your kids after your oldest was born? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I would say, when these situations were happening more frequently, as his business was getting increased and territory was growing, it was probably when our oldest was like eight\u2014about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Each kid was just over two years a part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So about eight, six, four, and two; and that was really probably the most difficult time in our son\u2019s life. He was bigger, so it was more difficult for me to handle. The other kids were sometimes hurt, so I was trying to juggle all these things. I was also dealing with chronic illness, so I was trying to do that while not <em>feeling<\/em> well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait, wait, wait. You just threw in another\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019ll get to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019ll hold the storm off if you want to go on with\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, no, no; so you\u2019ve got the kids\u2019 thing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and now, <em>you\u2019re<\/em> dealing with illness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What\u2019s that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Well, I had been dealing with some illness stuff, really, since the beginning of our marriage. I had been having just really random things\u2014stomach issues overall\u2014but nothing that was debilitating me. But each child that I had\u2014just the stress of the pregnancy\u2014revealed new symptoms that were coming out of me. By the time I had had my fourth, I\u2014the best way I can describe it is I felt flu-ish all the time\u2014I had these <em>horrible<\/em> aches all the time. You know, when you have the flu, you just want to do nothing but lay in bed and curl up and die; it\u2019s such an <em>awful<\/em> feeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was having to somehow muster through that achiness. It would often come with chills, and with fatigue, and stomach issues, and a lot of really random things\u2014like nerve pain or a joint would hurt\u2014or different things like that. I just didn\u2019t have the option. I could not lay down; I couldn\u2019t rest. I had to be on call myself, 24\/7, with one\u2014our son\u2014but typical kids, too; we had three others that had needs\u2014and they needed Mom to take care of them. They were also trying to deal with the after-effects of the stuff that had gone on with our son. They were trying to make sense of that, so that also created behaviors in them that were also difficult. It became where I was trying to constantly care for these really difficult situations, but I felt terrible doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he would walk in the door, and I\u2019d be ready to just check out. I almost needed to\u2014I didn\u2019t\u2014my body finally had a second to let down. Often, he\u2019d walk right back out, and that struggle in me would create: \u201cWell, when do I get the out? I know he doesn\u2019t <em>want<\/em> to leave; I know he wants to be here, but I can\u2019t go on like this forever. I can\u2019t keep doing this. So am I to sacrifice here? Am I just going to be the one that is beaten to the ground?\u201d I saw that I couldn\u2019t keep going on like this, because I was getting sicker and sicker by the day; and our situation was intensifying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would have been raising <em>several<\/em> white flags by this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014probably throwing a red flag. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I think I would have been throwing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014many. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you stop and think\u2014the early years of marriage are stressful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for every couple; you\u2019re making adjustments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Having four kids! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s stressful. You throw on top of that these health challenges and these career issues. I\u2019m guessing that there are more couples, who can identify with your story\u2014maybe, not the specifics\u2014but they can feel those stress moments of trying to figure out: \u201cHow do we do this? How do we do this so that we can both, not just survive, but so that we can build what we hoped to build when we first got married?\u2014a marriage and a family and have all of that be good.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve just scratched the surface on the challenges you guys have faced. Ultimately, your diagnosis was Lyme disease; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019re going to talk more about that this week; but you\u2019ve talked about this in your book, <em>Together Through the Storms: Biblical Encouragement for Your Marriage When Life Hurts<\/em>. We want to make your book available to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener who would like to get a copy of it. If you can support this ministry with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Jeff and Sarah\u2019s book. Again, the title is <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and there is information there about how you can make a donation\/how you can receive a copy of the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. You were able to listen to today\u2019s program because somebody cared enough about <em>you<\/em> to donate so that today\u2019s program could happen. We\u2019re asking you to do the same for others. If you\u2019d go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make a donation\u2014you can request your copy of Jeff and Sarah\u2019s book, <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>; or if it is easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to continue to hear about the challenges Jeff and Sarah Walton faced in their marriage and how they had to lean into God to find the strength to endure those challenges. I hope you can be back with us for that conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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many couples want to pattern their marriage after the book of Job. But Jeff and Sarah Walton, hit time and again with heart-crushing circumstances, began to find great comfort and wisdom in those pages.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-06-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When stress and pressure go up in a family, so does marital tension and conflict. That\u2019s what Jeff and Sarah Walton experienced. Jeff had a high-demand job, providing medical supplies for surgeons. He had to be available on a moment\u2019s notice to what those surgeons needed. Meanwhile, Sarah was home with kids, including a special needs child who was acting out. She needed her husband\u2019s help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I mean, there was really no easy solution in those moments. He knew that, if he didn\u2019t show up at that surgery, he could lose that doctor\u2019s business. I knew that; so I really did try to be understanding to that and tell myself: \u201cI know he would be here if he could. I do believe he\u2019d be here if he could\u201d; but I felt like I needed him more than any other time. I remember saying to him, \u201cI\u2019m waving the white flag; this is a time when I need you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What happens during stressful times in your marriage will either drive you apart or <em>can<\/em> bring you closer together as a couple. We\u2019ll talk more about that today with Jeff and Sarah Walton. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So when was the last time you read Job, Chapter 1? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I read it every day, Bob\u2014[Laughter]\u2014my favorite chapter in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to admit that I read the Bible through every year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> When I get to Job, I\u2019m always like, \u201cOh no!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t want to read it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> because it makes me <em>sad<\/em> and scared. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Chapter 1 is this chapter where Satan comes before the Lord and says, \u201cYou know these people, who are following you\u2014Job and his family\u2014they are just following you because you bless them.\u201d And God says, \u201cOkay; you have permission to take them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthrough and see what happens.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s the part I don\u2019t like! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here is my question, Bob. As you get ready to introduce them, have you ever thought about writing a <em>marriage<\/em> book based on the Book of Job? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Never had the idea. In fact, I\u2019m not sure how many people, like Ann, would want to buy that book; right?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014except that it\u2019s a <em>powerful<\/em> and profound book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We all suffer and go through times of suffering. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJeff and Sarah Walton join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys, welcome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Thank you very much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Thank you so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff and Sarah live in suburban Chicago. They are graduates of Taylor University. They are the parents of four kids and have written a book called <em>Together Through the Storm<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s been a storm; it\u2019s been 16 years of marriage, right? And it\u2019s not been 16 uneventful years for you. How long, after you were married, did you experience your first \u201cOh, we have a major bump in the road here\u201d? Do you remember? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> We had just moved; he had just gotten this job. He had been working at a station hotel, and he had just gotten hired as a medical sales trauma consultant; so he was going to start being on call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> We had just moved to be closer to the territory that he would be in, and I found out I was pregnant. It was about two years after our marriage. After I had our oldest\u2014I think he was seven weeks old\u2014he suddenly spiked a fever. Anybody who knows, when a baby that young spikes a fever\u2014and it was like 102.5 fever; it was pretty high\u2014we were rushed to the hospital with him. They did a spinal tap; they did all sorts of things. They informed us something very, very serious was going on; but they didn\u2019t know exactly what. We were told this could be meningitis; this could be leukemia; this could be this option; \u2026.this option. Each one was kind of worse than the last. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe ended up being there for five days. He was pretty much lethargic the whole time. He was on very heavy doses of antibiotics, and we had no answers. Every day was new options of what this could be. They had taken sample after sample. His white blood cells were skyrocketing; his red were dropping. It didn\u2019t look good at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you stoic, or were you fearful? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I think we were in a little in <em>shock<\/em>. I had just had a baby seven weeks ago, and it was all new; this was just thrown at us. Actually, I remember it was our anniversary when we were in the hospital. I think it was our third year anniversary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> For me, I was really fearful. I think, when I\/you head into being a parent for the first time\u2014and just like marriage\u2014you think everything is going to go well\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014there is not going to be the bump, initially. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we came into that, and had the bump in our road within the first two months, I remember even calling my parents from the hospital and trying to get out, over the phone, what they were starting to look at. My voice was just <em>gone<\/em>; I was just in tears, so overwhelmed by a ton of emotion and just everything flashing before our eyes of: \u201cWhat is going on? Our life is about to change,\u201d\u2014just the unexpected before us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; so, anyway, after five days, they basically said: \u201cNothing has come back. We can\u2019t find what\u2019s wrong. We can tell he has a severe infection, but we don\u2019t know what.\u201d At that\u2014I think it was the fifth day\u2014his numbers stabilized. They didn\u2019t really improve, but they stopped going in the wrong direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey sent us home. They said: \u201cWe are sending you home with an unknown infection, and we will monitor. If anything else comes back, we will immediately get in touch with you.\u201d That was kind of it. After we went home, I think we were a little bit in shock, like, \u201cWhat just happened?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You weren\u2019t like feeling relief? You were like, \u201cWell\u2026?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It was such a <em>sudden<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014up and down. We still didn\u2019t have <em>answers<\/em>, so it wasn\u2019t like it was nice closure\u2014like: \u201cNow, we know what happened. He was healed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Was he healed? Was he still lethargic? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Each day he got better, and he was seeming like he was back to normal; but the rest of that year, he seemed susceptible to infections. He got a really bad flu and lost a lot of weight; but overall, we thought, \u201cThat was a testing ground for us.\u201d God really\u2014that was our first real major test as a couple\u2014and I think I thought, like: \u201cOkay; we\u2019ve made it through that,\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWe survived that. We really did lean into the Lord.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were terrified, of course; but I did see us cling to the Lord in that\u2014that we had to come to grips with: \u201cGod has given us this child. If He takes him from us, can we trust Him?\u201d That was really hard to wrestle with, but I think it forced us to ask that question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> The ironic thing is\u2014one of the verses that we dedicated our son to\u2014was that he be lent from the Lord; and so, that put into clarity really soon of: \u201cAre we really holding loosely to a son? He is a gift from God. Now, we have the choice of fully trusting in God; or are we going to try and grip and just do it on our own strength?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFacing that reality, within the first couple months, I think has really been a launching point then for what we\u2019ve faced in the 12 years since, and just with parenthood in general. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> His first year, you continued to have health, up and down; still no diagnosis of what\u2019s going on with him. Did you ever get a diagnosis? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s been 12 years of several different doctors. It started out as the health scare. It was\/I think we just assumed that life was going on as normal, other than certain\u2014you know, getting sick a little bit easier\u2014things like that; but by the time he was able to crawl\u2014I think it was about 18 months, as he started crawling and walking\u2014we noticed he just kept repetitively going back to things he shouldn\u2019t do\u2014knocking things off of shelves\u2014just had a little bit of a destructive type of nature. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would try all sorts of little parenting techniques. You know, you\u2019re told all the different ways to do it\/handle these situations: \u201c\u2026to redirect,\u201d \u201cGive a little hand swat, say, \u2018No; no.\u2019\u201d We went from one to the next to the next; and it just seemed to get harder, and harder, and harder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs he got <em>older<\/em>, it started to turn into severe tantrums and strange behaviors that we couldn\u2019t quite figure out what it meant. We tried all sorts of parenting techniques to try to help train him to listen and all the things you are taught as a Christian parent. We took all these different Christian parenting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> At that point, were you thinking this had anything to do with that initial infection? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No; I don\u2019t think we had\u2014honestly, at that point\u2014I think we just thought: \u201cWe have a really strong-willed kid. We just probably have the strongest-willed kid on the face of the planet.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know: \u201cParents of strong-willed kids are just bad parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. [Laughter] That\u2019s the initial thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cIf they really knew what they were doing, that kid would be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbehaving right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; exactly; exactly. Yes; it was starting to increase to the point, where I had a hard time going to playdates. He would hurt kids; it was very impulsive behavior\u2014stuff I couldn\u2019t see coming\u2014so I was on alert every moment I was anywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Was he hitting his milestone markers in development? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> He was, other than talking\u2014he was a little delayed in speech\u2014but otherwise, I think that was what was <em>so<\/em> confusing. He seemed to be developing relatively normally, but there were these behaviors that we couldn\u2019t make sense of. Because he was our first, we just didn\u2019t really know if there was anything wrong; or \u201cIs this just kind of the way he is, and we have to adapt to that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, it probably wasn\u2019t until he turned four\u2014and we had just moved\u2014he actually got an infection. I believe he got strep, and he was put on antibiotics. Something happened in him; and it became\/he became erratic\u2014just screaming, shrieking, banging into walls, hitting, and doing anything\/throwing everything\u2014within, I mean, a matter of hours. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> That\u2019s, I think, what finally made us realize: \u201cSomething is <em>not<\/em> right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u201cSomething is going on.\u201d That\u2019s what initially launched us into searching out for a doctor that could, maybe, just figure out: \u201cIs this abnormal? If so, what are we dealing with?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat began our search for doctors. We just began with pediatricians; they didn\u2019t really know. We started with the lowest we could: just changing diets, vitamins\/increasing nutrients that he was clearly depleted in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The internet had all the answers you needed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It does; it does. [Laughter] You know, you can <em>believe<\/em> everything you read on the internet. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, at age four, he is\u2014are you thinking, \u201cAutism\u201d? Are you thinking, \u201cDevelopmentally disabled in some way\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. I think the closest we would have thought, at that point, was autism. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But what was <em>so<\/em> confusing to us is\u2014he also could seem <em>completely normal<\/em>, so it <em>wasn\u2019t<\/em> consistent. There would be times where he was a sweet, bright, very engaging little boy; he was funny. But every day\/good portions of the day would be these things that would be triggered in him that would last two hours\/three hours of screaming tantrums. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re a stay-at-home mom; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you just <em>exhausted<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> All the time; all the time. I had no\u2014I mean, nobody knew; I didn\u2019t know what to tell anybody. Taking him to a store, I would leave with him screaming and hitting me. We\u2019d be caught in really scary situations in the car that I couldn\u2019t control. It got harder with other\/once we had other kids as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Were you wondering, \u201cWhat am I doing wrong?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> All the time! I mean, you are doubting yourself every step of the way, especially as a Christian parent. I\u2019m thinking: \u201cI\u2019m reading these Scriptures. I\u2019m trying to find out \u2018How to raise and parent your kids.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I\u2019m listening to FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. I mean, we were really\/we were really <em>seeking<\/em> wisdom; and we would reach out to other Christian parents that we respected. I remember we would take advice, we\u2019d try to implement it, and it would make our situation <em>worse<\/em>. It was so\u2014it would leave us feeling really, really kind of despairing like, \u201cWhat are we doing wrong?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff, how are <em>you<\/em> handling all of this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes; I think the ironic thing was\u2014during this time, as Sarah had mentioned, I was in medical device sales\u2014and we are trying to figure this out on the fly. So much of that, with being a first-time parent, you don\u2019t know what you don\u2019t know. You just kind of go from one day to the next and kind of plow through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was in this role\u2014and on call 24\/7, being called out at a moment\u2019s notice and not knowing what the next day will bring\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you were bringing parts into surgery\/medical devices into surgery. You\u2019d get called into a trauma case. I\u2019m thinking of a guy in medical sales; I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHe goes to the doctor\u2019s office at 10 in the morning, and he is done at 5\u201d; but yours was a <em>unique<\/em> kind of situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It really was. It was for orthopedic trauma; and knowing that those accidents happen around the clock, and I did not have normal hours. They don\u2019t take off for holidays and weekends and all those special events, which created a lot of tension\/growing tension throughout the nine years that I was doing this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, one of the biggest challenges, really\u2014where that was the difficulties at home and everything that we had\u2014Sarah\u2019s world was in that 24 hours a day; and I was in and out, like a revolving door. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Could be gone for 12 hours, back home for an hour, and then get another call and have to rush out. Just probably, my nature\u2014like many guys in general\u2014you can kind of turn the page, and now you\u2019re plugging into work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We call that compartmentalization. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s a <em>wonderful<\/em> thing. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Not really. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It really is. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s not; is it, Sarah?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> No; drives me nuts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It is wonderful until you come back home\u2014and you feel like you\u2019ve moved on from that situation or that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014and there it is. You\u2019re right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So this is all affecting your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, yes. It was a lot, especially because I would be walking through, really, a lot of very scary situations. I was doing it on my own, while having other kids that I needed to somehow care for. I would have to be in a room, restraining our son, while the other kids had to take care of themselves. I would come out from those, physically\/emotionally depleted. Then that would often happen several times a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe would come home; and I didn\u2019t even know how to explain to him what had happened. I couldn\u2019t explain to him\/I couldn\u2019t explain to him the terrifying moments or how it feels, as a mom, to be\u2014have words and actions spoken and done to you, from a child that you are called to love and care for, and deep-down knowing that he wants that; but he couldn\u2019t control it\u2014so having to be that nurturer while, at the same time, feeling kind of like at the hand of an abuser, in a sense, at times; because he couldn\u2019t help it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You might be looking, thinking, \u201cWell, Jeff will be home, and I\u2019ll get a break.\u201d Then Jeff comes home, and he\u2019s got to go back out immediately; and what you were counting on\u2014you\u2019re depleted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, all of a sudden, Jeff is the <em>bad<\/em> guy in all of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; it was\/there was really no easy solution in those moments. He knew that, if he didn\u2019t show up at that surgery, he could lose that doctor\u2019s business. I knew that; so I really did try to be understanding to that and tell myself, \u201cI know he\u2019d be here if he could\u201d; but there would be\/there became situations, where I felt like I needed him more than any other time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How did you handle? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I remember saying to him: \u201cI\u2019m waving the white flag. This is a time when I need you, and I know you have to go. I support you as much as I can in that, but this is a moment that I need you.\u201d We had probably, on one hand, those white flags were waved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jeff, let me ask you about those white-flag moments; because I\u2019m thinking, as a guy, who\u2019s going: \u201cThis is my job\/my responsibility. I\u2019ve got to go do this. I\u2019m providing for my family. I don\u2019t have an option here. My wife needs me. Is this the point, where I call the doctor and say, \u2018I can\u2019t come, because my wife needs me\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel the tension you\u2019d be in at that moment, going, \u201cWhat\u2019s the right thing before the Lord to do here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Yes; and I wrestled with that <em>tremendously<\/em>\u2014knowing that what I thought I was doing, in that moment\/in those moments, I thought I was doing the honorable thing; I was providing for my family. I was being loyal to the surgeons that I was calling on; and knowing that, by not showing up, they were so easy to flip and go to a competitor. That fear was in me\/the fear of man. Where that started to consume was: I didn\u2019t have a boundary or a line in the sand that said, \u201cIf this happens, and if Sarah cries out to me, then I\u2019m going to stay home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the biggest challenge was all of this is often hidden. You know\u2014what was going on in our home\u2014no one knew what was going on, externally. If I say to a doctor that my wife needs me at home\u2014we\u2019re having an issue going on\u2014that just doesn\u2019t resonant well; but if your son is in the ER because of an emergency\/a broken bone or something that might make more sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe didn\u2019t have those; so by not having a clear answer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> \u2014of why I could maybe get out of this and, at least, get an excuse\u2014that presented a lot of problems; because I chose work over being home. I thought I was really trying to do what was best for our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As you look back <em>now<\/em>, would you do it differently?\u2014or could you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> I think I would have needed to. Like Sarah said, it\u2019s only a couple times throughout those nine years that she was crying out. I walked out of the door and, again, went to turn that page and put my foot in the door in the hospital; and she was left home, getting the brunt of everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKnowing what that did, ultimately, to our marriage\u2014and how that was a huge challenge and something that we\u2019ve had to work greatly through\u2014I should have made a different decision. Again, a case by case\u2014everyone\u2019s work and industry that they\u2019re in, there is always different challenges\u2014but \u201cIs it to the point where I put my work above my family?\u201d There has to be a line where family is going to come first; and certainly, with our desperate situation, I did not show that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sarah, there are some wives, who are waving the white flag every day when their husband leaves; and the husband is in a no-win situation. It\u2019s like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the wife is so needy and dependent; she\u2019s got no other support system. She\u2019s depending on him to be <em>everything<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014including be Jesus for her in that moment\u2014so you can see the tension. Some husbands feel like, \u201cIf I said, \u2018Yes, every time my wife waved the white flag, I\u2019d be out of work.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. No, that\u2019s definitely true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you feeling that tension that he might lose business? You guys might not have income if you waved this white flag? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; I mean it was, like I said earlier, there was really no right decision in many ways. It was just a <em>bad<\/em> situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What were the ages of your kids after your oldest was born? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I would say, when these situations were happening more frequently, as his business was getting increased and territory was growing, it was probably when our oldest was like eight\u2014about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> Each kid was just over two years a part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So about eight, six, four, and two; and that was really probably the most difficult time in our son\u2019s life. He was bigger, so it was more difficult for me to handle. The other kids were sometimes hurt, so I was trying to juggle all these things. I was also dealing with chronic illness, so I was trying to do that while not <em>feeling<\/em> well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wait, wait, wait. You just threw in another\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Okay; we\u2019ll get to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014storm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019ll hold the storm off if you want to go on with\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No, no, no; so you\u2019ve got the kids\u2019 thing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and now, <em>you\u2019re<\/em> dealing with illness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What\u2019s that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Well, I had been dealing with some illness stuff, really, since the beginning of our marriage. I had been having just really random things\u2014stomach issues overall\u2014but nothing that was debilitating me. But each child that I had\u2014just the stress of the pregnancy\u2014revealed new symptoms that were coming out of me. By the time I had had my fourth, I\u2014the best way I can describe it is I felt flu-ish all the time\u2014I had these <em>horrible<\/em> aches all the time. You know, when you have the flu, you just want to do nothing but lay in bed and curl up and die; it\u2019s such an <em>awful<\/em> feeling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was having to somehow muster through that achiness. It would often come with chills, and with fatigue, and stomach issues, and a lot of really random things\u2014like nerve pain or a joint would hurt\u2014or different things like that. I just didn\u2019t have the option. I could not lay down; I couldn\u2019t rest. I had to be on call myself, 24\/7, with one\u2014our son\u2014but typical kids, too; we had three others that had needs\u2014and they needed Mom to take care of them. They were also trying to deal with the after-effects of the stuff that had gone on with our son. They were trying to make sense of that, so that also created behaviors in them that were also difficult. It became where I was trying to constantly care for these really difficult situations, but I felt terrible doing it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he would walk in the door, and I\u2019d be ready to just check out. I almost needed to\u2014I didn\u2019t\u2014my body finally had a second to let down. Often, he\u2019d walk right back out, and that struggle in me would create: \u201cWell, when do I get the out? I know he doesn\u2019t <em>want<\/em> to leave; I know he wants to be here, but I can\u2019t go on like this forever. I can\u2019t keep doing this. So am I to sacrifice here? Am I just going to be the one that is beaten to the ground?\u201d I saw that I couldn\u2019t keep going on like this, because I was getting sicker and sicker by the day; and our situation was intensifying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would have been raising <em>several<\/em> white flags by this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014probably throwing a red flag. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I think I would have been throwing\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014many. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you stop and think\u2014the early years of marriage are stressful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014anyway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for every couple; you\u2019re making adjustments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Having four kids! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s stressful. You throw on top of that these health challenges and these career issues. I\u2019m guessing that there are more couples, who can identify with your story\u2014maybe, not the specifics\u2014but they can feel those stress moments of trying to figure out: \u201cHow do we do this? How do we do this so that we can both, not just survive, but so that we can build what we hoped to build when we first got married?\u2014a marriage and a family and have all of that be good.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve just scratched the surface on the challenges you guys have faced. Ultimately, your diagnosis was Lyme disease; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019re going to talk more about that this week; but you\u2019ve talked about this in your book, <em>Together Through the Storms: Biblical Encouragement for Your Marriage When Life Hurts<\/em>. We want to make your book available to any <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener who would like to get a copy of it. If you can support this ministry with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Jeff and Sarah\u2019s book. Again, the title is <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and there is information there about how you can make a donation\/how you can receive a copy of the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported. You were able to listen to today\u2019s program because somebody cared enough about <em>you<\/em> to donate so that today\u2019s program could happen. We\u2019re asking you to do the same for others. If you\u2019d go to FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make a donation\u2014you can request your copy of Jeff and Sarah\u2019s book, <em>Together Through the Storms<\/em>; or if it is easier, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to continue to hear about the challenges Jeff and Sarah Walton faced in their marriage and how they had to lean into God to find the strength to endure those challenges. I hope you can be back with us for that conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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