{"id":306059,"date":"2020-05-30T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-05-30T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/relationships-during-quarantine\/"},"modified":"2020-05-30T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-05-30T11:00:05","slug":"relationships-during-quarantine","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/relationships-during-quarantine\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationships During Quarantine"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You may love them, but that doesn&#8217;t keep them from getting on your nerves&#8211;or vice versa. Lisa Anderson gives suggestions for how to manage relationships during a time of forced distance, or forced togetherness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-05-30.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883110","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2867,2848,2827],"tags":[6872,2699,4389,4388],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3155],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-306059","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-church-involvement","category-cultural-issues","category-repentance","tag-building-friendship-with-others","tag-forgiveness","tag-friendship","tag-relationships","cwp_profile-lisa-anderson","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306059\/relationships-during-quarantine","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306059\/relationships-during-quarantine","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"eL0C1Kgmsr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/relationships-during-quarantine\/\">Relationships During Quarantine<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/relationships-during-quarantine\/embed\/#?secret=eL0C1Kgmsr\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Relationships During Quarantine&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"eL0C1Kgmsr\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-05-30.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-05-30.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How are things going in your house? Has this spring brought on some tension? You know, maybe it\u2019s time to clear the air. Lisa Anderson has some great advice, including maybe putting down the phone when you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I\u2019ll euphemize it as saying, \u201cOh, no; I\u2019m just a multi-tasker.\u201d She\u2019ll be talking to me; and I\u2019m like on my phone, clearing out emails on my phone, or doing something, or scrolling through social media. That, to her, is very disrespectful. Technically, I think that I can hear her and do these things at one time; but it just conveys disrespect and me deprioritizing her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk about clearing the air and, also, life after quarantine with our loved ones\u2014and Lisa Anderson\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. You know, it\u2019s the end of May, and we are living in just such weird times. A year ago, I <em>never<\/em> would have thought that something like a virus would have <em>rocked<\/em> our entire world like it did, and continues to do. Would you? I mean, did you foresee this coming? I would have <em>never <\/em>thought that this would have taken down everything, so to speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we are watching our world, right now, slowly wake up from fear, and sheltering in place, and restrictions. You know, we still have uncertainty; but one thing we\u2019ve noticed, in this uncertainty and the sheltering in place, is those quirks\/ you know, those quirks with our loved ones. You know what I mean! These are more than just leaving a wet towel on the bathroom floor or toilet paper\u2014does it go over the top or under?\u2014oh wait; no! Some of us didn\u2019t have toilet paper during this time, but it\u2019s good to know that it\u2019s back in stock on the shelves now; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, those little quirks\u2014a little bit worse than, you know, your two-year-old leaving their Legos<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> on the floor in the middle of the night, and you discovering it with your big toe?\u2014you know, some of those quirks we already lived with; but let\u2019s talk about those quirks you had <em>never<\/em> noticed\u2014those quirks that we all seem to see when, all of a sudden, it\u2019s just <em>us <\/em>and our loved ones. Now that we\u2019ve seen those quirks\/those warts, what do we do? How do we move into the future with our loved ones?\u2014our spouse?\u2014 our roommate?\u2014our children?\u2014just how do we do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I have a good friend, Lisa Anderson, who is the host of <em>The Boundless Show<\/em>, which is a ministry to young adults and singles. I just thought Lisa could help me out with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So Lisa, the last time that we talked, we had all just been in quarantine for a couple of weeks. You gave advice about setting a routine. One of the things that you suggested was: \u201cHey! Maybe clean out a closet an hour a day, or go through some old pictures,\u201d or things like that. I\u2019ve just got to ask: \u201cHow clean is your house now?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> [Laughter] Well, okay! So it\u2019s not super-clean. In fact, if I could show you, you would see that I have some piled up laundry over here; clean laundry to fold. [Laughter] But I am going to say that most of the untidiness around here, I\u2019m going to blame on my roommate; largely because she\u2019s not here right now, and I can. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I have rocked on some projects; I\u2019m going to be honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Sure thing! Yes, I\u2019m systematically doing the pictures. I am into last year now on digital photos. This was starting with 2006, so I\u2019ve done a lot on that. Now, I started that before quarantine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So it can\u2019t, you know, take all the credit there. But now, I\u2019m also starting on physical photos, which just send me over the edge. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do; half of those are going to get thrown, because I can\u2019t even stand looking at them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you had set up a schedule. I was having such a hard time in setting up a routine. For me, it was just the fact that I get up by 7:30 every day, have my coffee, and then go into the spare room that was my office. Then, at noon, I would take a walk. Then after that, everything just hit the floor; I mean, just, everything! I had <em>good intentions<\/em> of cleaning out a closet. I had good intentions of going through some things, and everything just hit the floor. I could <em>not<\/em> focus in very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Well, here\u2019s where I can\u2019t focus\u2014and this is where I\u2019m also going to shift blame\u2014because my work schedule is just off the chain. Everything is just cannibalizing my day. I can\u2019t get started on a project before someone pings me with some need that they have. It\u2019s just\u2014that\u2019s where I just want to blame my work environment or whatever. I don\u2019t know; it\u2019s just crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So what are some things, that you have learned through this quarantine, that maybe you need to change?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, trying to\u2014and I want to take this forward with me\u2014is simplifying. The ways that I\u2019ve been able to simplify my life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014have been good, like just certain structures of: I don\u2019t need to run to the store for one single item every time I need something\u2014kind of just stocking up\u2014because now, it\u2019s a hassle. You know, now I\u2019m like, \u201cWhere\u2019s my mask?\u201d I\u2019ve got to go grab my mask. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, yesterday, I ran and picked up a prescription. I was like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m just going through the pharmacy drive-through on that; I\u2019m not walking into that mess.\u201d Just prioritizing: \u201cWhat are the tasks I need to do?\u201d\u2014and simplifying the number of them and the amount of errands I run. Those are a couple of things that have been good for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So how are you planning to put those things into place as we move forward? Because we can say that\u2014and people were like: \u201cYes! That sounds awesome; I need to simplify,\u201d\u2014but putting it into place is something different than, you know, saying it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I don\u2019t want to refill that schedule. I don\u2019t want to have something to do every night of the week. I don\u2019t want to so overfill my commitments that I can\u2019t keep up with them. So looking and saying, \u201cOkay, moving forward,\u201d\u2014even though we\u2019re in summer; and I love summer, and think that gives me license to get out and do whatever I want\u2014have\/to prioritize: \u201cOkay, I need to have a few nights at home each week.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to have, for example, even looking at\u2014because I have a roommate\u2014figuring out a little more structure for how we attack the house rather than this mad scramble of like, you know, \u201cIs anyone going to do the dishes?\u201d\u2014and then getting all passive-aggressive, because I know that I just did them. [Laughter] Rather than saying, \u201cIt\u2019s your turn,\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cHmm, it looks like there are a lot of dishes over there,\u201d \u2014so just finding ways to be more honest and more intentional about structuring the tasks that have to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; during the season that we\u2019ve just walked through, what were some things that were <em>harder<\/em> for you than you thought that it would be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I would say one thing that was harder for me was just reconciling the need to slow down with stuff. It came on me so fast in that I was on a trip and came back; and all of a sudden, we were in lockdown. I didn\u2019t have the chance to like, gradually move into that space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So I felt like it was this fear of missing out\u2014of like, \u201cWhoa! I haven\u2019t been in my church now for, like, two months!\u201d\u2014or more at this point. I think, for me, just to get my head around what isolation means. Even though I\u2019ve had a better experience with being sequestered than I thought I would, it\u2019s still all of that fear-of-missing-out stuff, feeling\u2014well, here\u2019s a great example of it that just came to mind\u2014I actually had one of my precious elderly friends at church die in the last few weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It was unexpected. She ended up in the hospital, non-COVID-related. I had seen her right when I got back, because I took her to a doctor\u2019s appointment and got her some groceries. Then, the next thing I know, she was in the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually went to her burial; there were only four of us there. We all had our masks on, and that was including the pastor. It was just like this sadness, but I was determined to be there; because I was like, \u201cI want someone to be there to mark that she has been promoted into heaven and that her life mattered.\u201d She was a single woman in her 80s\/had been single her whole life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a sense of solidarity there, and just recognizing and projecting that to the nationwide- and worldwide-loss that has been going on, and realizing how to grieve in isolation is such a hard thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Grieving in isolation <em>is <\/em>such a hard thing. I am <em>so sorry<\/em> for the loss of your precious friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it also just makes me realize that, as we move forward\u2014while I have not lost anyone to COVID\u2014there are a lot of people, who have lost loved ones to COVID and to other things. That is also a new\u2014I don\u2019t want to say \u201ca new normal, going forward\u201d\u2014but that is also something that people are having to work through, emotionally, and grieving, and that sort of thing, which is kind of hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I mean, actual loss and then virtual losses too. It\u2019s funny; when I look on social media\u2014and I see my friends who are celebrating birthdays\u2014some of them have had people come by and drop stuff off at their doorstep or hold up a sign as they drive by. I\u2019m just like, \u201cWow! That\u2019s not how we want to celebrate.\u201d You know, that\u2019s not how we\u2019re <em>meant<\/em> to celebrate; but they\u2019re just having to make do. Of course, larger than that, even, the people who had to cancel weddings and, of course, graduations and stuff. The sense of loss in that is so huge! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very interesting, though\u2014getting back to the grief and death\u2014one of the first things I thought of, when this first hit, was: \u201cOh, thank goodness that Mom is already in heaven,\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t have to worry about walking her through this pandemic and worrying every day about: \u2018Is she going to get COVID?\u2019 \u2018What if we end up in the hospital?\u2019 \u201cWhat if\u2026\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, many people are dealing with that reality of trying to protect loved ones, and trying to sequester as much as they can, and do what they need to do. It\u2019s hard when you\u2019re wrangling, you know, a household of folks or someone who\u2019s compromised, elderly and such.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLisa, we need to take a break; but when we come back, I want to change our conversation, just slightly, and really talk about the quirks that this quarantine has revealed about the people who we live with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Sounds good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So stay tuned; we\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. I am joined via SquadCast\u2014kind of like a Zoom\u2014with Lisa Anderson of <em>The Boundless Show<\/em>. Lisa, we are talking, post-quarantine right now, and the things that we have learned\/the things that we are keeping. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe quarantine has revealed quirks and wrinkles in our relationships. We\u2019re in such close quarters with people; and so we are coming to see different things than we thought, and things that we really <em>don\u2019t<\/em> like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Right. I was thinking about this in the sense of, \u201cWow!\u201d Here I am\/I\u2019m single,\u201d\u2014although, I do have a roommate; and there are so many good things about that\u2014in that I have a number of single friends, who live alone; and they have truly been in isolation, now, for two months. It\u2019s just really wearing, and they\u2019re really having a hard time with it. I have a roommate, who\u2019s also one of my best friends. She and I generally get along very well, so that\u2019s been good; but it is funny just to think how the spotlight shines on certain things that you hadn\u2019t anticipated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo one thing that I realized is\u2014and again, this is going to apply to anyone, whether you have a roommate, or whether you are with family members\/with your spouse\u2014you always think that you\u2019re less selfish than you are\u2014[Laughter]\u2014until something like this comes up. You know, I think I\u2019m just like oh, so easy-going and whatever: \u201cI\u2019m just like a joy\/a dream to live with,\u201d\u2014whatever. Then you realize, \u201cOh!\u201d It makes me think: \u201cWow! People who are living with roommates, that actually don\u2019t know each other well or don\u2019t get along well, you know, my goodness; that must be so tough!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that I have noticed is that my roommate has very much this mentality of: \u201cWe just live in this place,\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s mine is yours,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re just in this together.\u201d I\u2019m much more of like, \u201cOkay, I need you to like\u2014my stuff is my stuff.\u201d Even little things that are totally ridiculous\u2014and this is where I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cAm I the most selfish person in the world?\u201d\u2014just funny things that can be irritations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019ve been noticing that\u2014I mean, just in <em>myself<\/em>. Okay, this is total confession time; this is like, \u201cThis is where Michelle lives!\u201d I\u2019m not as angry. Anger is like\u2014I don\u2019t want to say it\u2019s my pet sin; it\u2019s not something that I just sit there and, you know, stroke at night like a little kitty\u2014but I know that it\u2019s not right. It\u2019s something that I do face; and I have to continually go to God and say, \u201cPlease forgive me!\u201d; but it\u2019s because people are just people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that I\u2019m not around people, and I live alone, I\u2019m just finding that this sort of anger is <em>gone<\/em>, because I <em>can<\/em> be the selfish one; I can be the one, who\u2019s leaving the chocolate on the kitchen towel, and I can be the one who doesn\u2019t clean up after myself, and no one cares; because no one steps in my house!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, so here\u2019s the opposite of that, Michelle\u2014and this is where I have to tell on myself\u2014is that having a roommate is like, \u201cI <em>can\u2019t<\/em> just do whatever I want.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So if I want to, like, fritter away my time\u2014or like, for example, I can\u2019t just go downstairs and watch four hours of Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; because she will literally be like, \u201cWhy are you just watching all this TV?\u201d and be all up in my face about it\u2014you know, clearly implying: \u201cShouldn\u2019t you be reading Scripture?\u201d or \u201cShouldn\u2019t you be\u2026\u201d\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then it\u2019s like I have to operate on this false sense of, like: \u201cNo, I\u2019m doing stuff; I\u2019m being productive. I\u2019m doing\u2026\u201d [Laughter] I like make it look like I\u2019m doing something good, and then I go back and watch something if I want to. It is funny how\/you know, it\u2019s like my built-in accountability partner, just hanging over my shoulder all the time and saying, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not a good use of your time.\u201d I\u2019m like, <em>\u201cWhat?!\u201d <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cHow dare you! How dare you tell me that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m all defensive about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes! Okay, so <em>how<\/em> do we deal with these wrinkles\/with these quirks? We know that they\u2019ve been revealed; and so, as we move forward, they\u2019re still there; they\u2019re just not as magnified.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So have you had conversations with your roommate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m hoping that what people realize in this is how generally poor at communication and conflict we are, regardless of quarantine and isolation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I mean, this should shine the spotlight on us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good point!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Because now, it\u2019s just more magnified; whereas, you know, I used to say\u2014when I lived alone, which I did for like 13 years prior to having a roommate\u2014it was always great; because when someone irritated me, I just went home; and I just chilled. I was by myself, and I got back to my own routines and structures. Now, I can\u2019t do that; I actually have to address things. I think the biggest principle to think of, in a forward manner of thinking, is to keep short accounts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So, again, the last thing you want to do is let something fester\u2014which is: \u201c[I\u2019ve] been there; done that,\u201d\u2014and then, letting it blow up; or doing, as I alluded to previously, of addressing something in a very passive-aggressive manner; or using humor, which I try to do, which always backfires on me\u2014so just to say: \u201cOkay, let\u2019s sit down. Can we just talk through a couple things, just moving forward: \u2018What this can look like\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother great example is\u2014I am the type of person who wants everything in its place. If I sit down on a chair, and I move the pillow to sit on the chair, when I stand up, I\u2019m going to put that pillow back. My roommate is like free-for-all; the couch is actually moved like two feet back, because we have bare floors. I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy is this couch at an angle?\u201d \u201cOh, because I was sitting on it.\u201d \u201cJust sitting on a couch?\u2014it physically moves by you being on it?\u201d And then it\u2019s like all askew and that drives me nuts! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo just talking about priorities like, you know: \u201cHaving things straightened up is a big deal for me. Can we just kind of come to some compromise of making that happen?\u2014or at the end of every day, for example? Maybe it doesn\u2019t have to be moved every moment; but at the end of every day, when we go to our separate parts of the house, just the house is kind of tidy; we\u2019ve kind of brought it back to where it was.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the Netflix thing or me frittering away time\u2014rather than her saying, \u201cYes, so how\u2019s your walk with Jesus going?\u201d or something like super passive-aggressive like, \u201cWhen was the last time you read through Revelation?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014if she just says, \u201cYou know, Lisa, I\u2019ve noticed you\u2019ve been watching a lot of TV; hey, what\u2019s that about?\u201d Or you know: \u201cMaybe we, together, can encourage one another to do this a little differently,\u201d or \u201c\u2026spend tomorrow doing a \u2018No TV Day\u2019 or something.\u201d Then it kind of makes it a fun, proactive challenge, rather than, \u201cYou clearly are not saved, because all you\u2019re doing is watching this TV show.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, you know, we have to keep short accounts. We have to be willing to be kind, and honest, and direct about stuff\u2014not using the passive-aggressive behaviors or some other way of doing it\u2014not blowing up about it. Then realizing that we can all own our own stuff as well. Again, where I jokingly say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s good!\u201d\u2014because all the things that are wrong are my roommate\u2019s problem\u2014no; I realize I\u2019ve got my own stuff too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo leading with those and owning those\u2014and even going proactively to a person, whether it\u2019s your spouse, or your kids, or your roommate, or whatever\u2014and saying: \u201cHey! Let\u2019s do a little inventory. Tell me; how has this been going for you? Is there anything that I could be doing that would make this experience a little better for you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Because then you\u2019re not in a defensive posture. Then you\u2019re actually asking for it and inviting it, and it immediately sets the tone for it being more conciliatory in that sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a really good point: to actually be the humble person and to go in and say: \u201cOkay, how can I make this easier for <em>you<\/em> during this time? How do I set up the structure that would be best for both of us, so that we don\u2019t kill each other after all of this is done?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean, they\u2019re great principles to have after all this is done, too\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014in the sense of, you know, one thing I do is\u2014like if my roommate, who is a very relational person, and I tend to be more scattered\u2014I\u2019ll euphemize it as saying, \u201cOh, no; I\u2019m just a multi-tasker.\u201d She\u2019ll be talking to me, and I\u2019m like on my phone, clearing out emails on my phone, or doing something, or scrolling through social media. That, to her, is very disrespectful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has had to say to me, \u201cLisa, like when I\u2019m talking to you, can you just put your phone down and like look me in the eye?\u201d I realize that\u2019s a priority for her; that\u2019s honoring. It\u2019s a way for me to honor her by doing that, even though, technically\u2014and, who knows?\u2014I\u2019m probably not doing this well; I think that I can hear her and do these things at one time, but it just conveys disrespect and me deprioritizing her. So we\u2019ve been able to shift that pattern a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, you said earlier that none of us really has this handle on this communication and being honest with the other person. That\u2019s what this is bringing out! It\u2019s because, in all of us, there\u2019s a little bit of passive-aggressive: \u201cI\u2019m your Holy Spirit. I\u2019m here to tell you what you\u2019ve done wrong against me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is really bringing out the almost healing waters of, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; oh, absolutely! Of course, with someone in your space, you\u2019re eventually going to have to address it; because it is just right there. But I\u2019ve even seen it\u2014I mean, there\u2019s even opportunity for conflict even with co-workers via email or via Zoom; or someone said they\u2019d deliver something, and they didn\u2019t. Now, you\u2019re like\u2014in fact, just yesterday, I had a \u201cmisunderstanding\u201d with someone in Finance. I had written this whole email. It was funny; because I actually told my roommate, at the end of the day\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cYes, I didn\u2019t send that,\u201d because, even as someone with a Communications degree, I could read it and realize I sounded super defensive; it sounded snarky. I just didn\u2019t have the bandwidth to go and recraft it in a way that would have been, you know, something that I could send. So I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s just not getting sent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, today, that person actually got back to me; and we\u2019re going to have a phone call about it, which is going to be a <em>lot<\/em> better; because\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014both of us probably are misunderstanding pieces of this. And let\u2019s be honest; it\u2019s finance, so I probably don\u2019t understand anything of what she\u2019s trying to tell me. It\u2019s just going to allow us to both get on common ground and work this out versus what is just a Matthew 18 situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014of various hurt feelings here; there\u2019s misunderstanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014and what is so wrong to do is\u2014and this is where I was tempted: \u201cOkay, am I going to like email this person back?\u201d And then, because I know who all these people are, cc every boss they have in the chain of command; because then I\u2019m like, \u201cNow things are getting real.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cAnd we\u2019re going to get some accountability here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> No! This is just a misunderstanding that she and I need to work out. I don\u2019t need to make a power play here or be weird about it. I see that, in person, so often, where we\u2019re like\u2014you know, even in the office\u2014\u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to go to her boss and complain about her; then hopefully, they\u2019ll just do something.\u201d Then the boss, if they\u2019re a passive-aggressive person, they\u2019re going to call their entire team into a room and address something <em>generally<\/em> that, really, is just meant for one person. You know, it just snowballs into something crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve actually had that, where I\u2019ve had employees come and gripe at me about a fellow team member. I always say: \u201cOkay, look; if this is something that I have to step in on,\u201d\u2014because it\u2019s an HR issue; it\u2019s something that is structural\/you know, related to job descriptions\/whatever\u2014\u201cI will; but this sounds like you\u2019re just mad at this person. So you need to go to them directly and address that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re all like: \u201cWhaaat? You know, I don\u2019t want to upset the working relationship.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, you already did; because you\u2019re mad at them; so just go fix it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s like this is stuff that we learned in kindergarten; but then, somehow, we forgot it; and now we get into all these power plays and stuff that aren\u2019t helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So we learned it in kindergarten; we forgot it, and we relearned it during COVID-19. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> There you go; exactly! Good practices to put into place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, Lisa, this has been fun. Thank you so much for joining us and just helping us really think through, \u201cWhere is life heading once we get back?\u201d I know it won\u2019t go back to normal; but once we get back to the fact of, \u201cLet\u2019s move on from here; how do we do that?\u201d So thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, and I just hope that it allows us to remember that, you know, in essence, we need to love everyone. We need to care for everyone\u2019s hearts and spirits, whether we are stuck in a house with them, or whether we\u2019re in a workplace with them, or in a grocery store with them\u2014wherever we are\u2014looking at other people as Christ looks at them. That\u2019s going to be a good place for us to get started in <em>any<\/em> relational pursuits, now and in the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good word; good word. Thanks, Lisa!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Lisa Anderson from <em>The<\/em> <em>Boundless Show<\/em>, giving us some <em>great<\/em> advice on how to move forward past the quarantine. Hey, also, if you need some further resources for your family on how to continue moving forward after quarantine, check out our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; that\u2019s FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, next week, we\u2019re going to hear from Sally Lloyd-Jones. You\u2019ve heard of her, right? She\u2019s the author of <em>The Jesus Storybook Bible, <\/em>and she has an amazing way of interacting with children. She\u2019s going to model for us how to tell stories to kids. It will be a <em>great<\/em> show next week, so I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our production team today; to Keith, and Marques, Justin, and Megan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"about:blank\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883110"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306059.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306059.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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may love them, but that doesn't keep them from getting on your nerves--or vice versa. Lisa Anderson gives suggestions for how to manage relationships during a time of forced distance, or forced togetherness.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-05-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How are things going in your house? Has this spring brought on some tension? You know, maybe it\u2019s time to clear the air. Lisa Anderson has some great advice, including maybe putting down the phone when you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I\u2019ll euphemize it as saying, \u201cOh, no; I\u2019m just a multi-tasker.\u201d She\u2019ll be talking to me; and I\u2019m like on my phone, clearing out emails on my phone, or doing something, or scrolling through social media. That, to her, is very disrespectful. Technically, I think that I can hear her and do these things at one time; but it just conveys disrespect and me deprioritizing her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk about clearing the air and, also, life after quarantine with our loved ones\u2014and Lisa Anderson\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. You know, it\u2019s the end of May, and we are living in just such weird times. A year ago, I <em>never<\/em> would have thought that something like a virus would have <em>rocked<\/em> our entire world like it did, and continues to do. Would you? I mean, did you foresee this coming? I would have <em>never <\/em>thought that this would have taken down everything, so to speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we are watching our world, right now, slowly wake up from fear, and sheltering in place, and restrictions. You know, we still have uncertainty; but one thing we\u2019ve noticed, in this uncertainty and the sheltering in place, is those quirks\/ you know, those quirks with our loved ones. You know what I mean! These are more than just leaving a wet towel on the bathroom floor or toilet paper\u2014does it go over the top or under?\u2014oh wait; no! Some of us didn\u2019t have toilet paper during this time, but it\u2019s good to know that it\u2019s back in stock on the shelves now; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut also, those little quirks\u2014a little bit worse than, you know, your two-year-old leaving their Legos<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> on the floor in the middle of the night, and you discovering it with your big toe?\u2014you know, some of those quirks we already lived with; but let\u2019s talk about those quirks you had <em>never<\/em> noticed\u2014those quirks that we all seem to see when, all of a sudden, it\u2019s just <em>us <\/em>and our loved ones. Now that we\u2019ve seen those quirks\/those warts, what do we do? How do we move into the future with our loved ones?\u2014our spouse?\u2014 our roommate?\u2014our children?\u2014just how do we do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I have a good friend, Lisa Anderson, who is the host of <em>The Boundless Show<\/em>, which is a ministry to young adults and singles. I just thought Lisa could help me out with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So Lisa, the last time that we talked, we had all just been in quarantine for a couple of weeks. You gave advice about setting a routine. One of the things that you suggested was: \u201cHey! Maybe clean out a closet an hour a day, or go through some old pictures,\u201d or things like that. I\u2019ve just got to ask: \u201cHow clean is your house now?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> [Laughter] Well, okay! So it\u2019s not super-clean. In fact, if I could show you, you would see that I have some piled up laundry over here; clean laundry to fold. [Laughter] But I am going to say that most of the untidiness around here, I\u2019m going to blame on my roommate; largely because she\u2019s not here right now, and I can. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I have rocked on some projects; I\u2019m going to be honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Sure thing! Yes, I\u2019m systematically doing the pictures. I am into last year now on digital photos. This was starting with 2006, so I\u2019ve done a lot on that. Now, I started that before quarantine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So it can\u2019t, you know, take all the credit there. But now, I\u2019m also starting on physical photos, which just send me over the edge. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do; half of those are going to get thrown, because I can\u2019t even stand looking at them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you had set up a schedule. I was having such a hard time in setting up a routine. For me, it was just the fact that I get up by 7:30 every day, have my coffee, and then go into the spare room that was my office. Then, at noon, I would take a walk. Then after that, everything just hit the floor; I mean, just, everything! I had <em>good intentions<\/em> of cleaning out a closet. I had good intentions of going through some things, and everything just hit the floor. I could <em>not<\/em> focus in very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Well, here\u2019s where I can\u2019t focus\u2014and this is where I\u2019m also going to shift blame\u2014because my work schedule is just off the chain. Everything is just cannibalizing my day. I can\u2019t get started on a project before someone pings me with some need that they have. It\u2019s just\u2014that\u2019s where I just want to blame my work environment or whatever. I don\u2019t know; it\u2019s just crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So what are some things, that you have learned through this quarantine, that maybe you need to change?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, trying to\u2014and I want to take this forward with me\u2014is simplifying. The ways that I\u2019ve been able to simplify my life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014have been good, like just certain structures of: I don\u2019t need to run to the store for one single item every time I need something\u2014kind of just stocking up\u2014because now, it\u2019s a hassle. You know, now I\u2019m like, \u201cWhere\u2019s my mask?\u201d I\u2019ve got to go grab my mask. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, yesterday, I ran and picked up a prescription. I was like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m just going through the pharmacy drive-through on that; I\u2019m not walking into that mess.\u201d Just prioritizing: \u201cWhat are the tasks I need to do?\u201d\u2014and simplifying the number of them and the amount of errands I run. Those are a couple of things that have been good for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So how are you planning to put those things into place as we move forward? Because we can say that\u2014and people were like: \u201cYes! That sounds awesome; I need to simplify,\u201d\u2014but putting it into place is something different than, you know, saying it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I don\u2019t want to refill that schedule. I don\u2019t want to have something to do every night of the week. I don\u2019t want to so overfill my commitments that I can\u2019t keep up with them. So looking and saying, \u201cOkay, moving forward,\u201d\u2014even though we\u2019re in summer; and I love summer, and think that gives me license to get out and do whatever I want\u2014have\/to prioritize: \u201cOkay, I need to have a few nights at home each week.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to have, for example, even looking at\u2014because I have a roommate\u2014figuring out a little more structure for how we attack the house rather than this mad scramble of like, you know, \u201cIs anyone going to do the dishes?\u201d\u2014and then getting all passive-aggressive, because I know that I just did them. [Laughter] Rather than saying, \u201cIt\u2019s your turn,\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cHmm, it looks like there are a lot of dishes over there,\u201d \u2014so just finding ways to be more honest and more intentional about structuring the tasks that have to be done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes; during the season that we\u2019ve just walked through, what were some things that were <em>harder<\/em> for you than you thought that it would be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I would say one thing that was harder for me was just reconciling the need to slow down with stuff. It came on me so fast in that I was on a trip and came back; and all of a sudden, we were in lockdown. I didn\u2019t have the chance to like, gradually move into that space.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So I felt like it was this fear of missing out\u2014of like, \u201cWhoa! I haven\u2019t been in my church now for, like, two months!\u201d\u2014or more at this point. I think, for me, just to get my head around what isolation means. Even though I\u2019ve had a better experience with being sequestered than I thought I would, it\u2019s still all of that fear-of-missing-out stuff, feeling\u2014well, here\u2019s a great example of it that just came to mind\u2014I actually had one of my precious elderly friends at church die in the last few weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> It was unexpected. She ended up in the hospital, non-COVID-related. I had seen her right when I got back, because I took her to a doctor\u2019s appointment and got her some groceries. Then, the next thing I know, she was in the hospital. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually went to her burial; there were only four of us there. We all had our masks on, and that was including the pastor. It was just like this sadness, but I was determined to be there; because I was like, \u201cI want someone to be there to mark that she has been promoted into heaven and that her life mattered.\u201d She was a single woman in her 80s\/had been single her whole life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a sense of solidarity there, and just recognizing and projecting that to the nationwide- and worldwide-loss that has been going on, and realizing how to grieve in isolation is such a hard thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Grieving in isolation <em>is <\/em>such a hard thing. I am <em>so sorry<\/em> for the loss of your precious friend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut it also just makes me realize that, as we move forward\u2014while I have not lost anyone to COVID\u2014there are a lot of people, who have lost loved ones to COVID and to other things. That is also a new\u2014I don\u2019t want to say \u201ca new normal, going forward\u201d\u2014but that is also something that people are having to work through, emotionally, and grieving, and that sort of thing, which is kind of hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I mean, actual loss and then virtual losses too. It\u2019s funny; when I look on social media\u2014and I see my friends who are celebrating birthdays\u2014some of them have had people come by and drop stuff off at their doorstep or hold up a sign as they drive by. I\u2019m just like, \u201cWow! That\u2019s not how we want to celebrate.\u201d You know, that\u2019s not how we\u2019re <em>meant<\/em> to celebrate; but they\u2019re just having to make do. Of course, larger than that, even, the people who had to cancel weddings and, of course, graduations and stuff. The sense of loss in that is so huge! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s very interesting, though\u2014getting back to the grief and death\u2014one of the first things I thought of, when this first hit, was: \u201cOh, thank goodness that Mom is already in heaven,\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t have to worry about walking her through this pandemic and worrying every day about: \u2018Is she going to get COVID?\u2019 \u2018What if we end up in the hospital?\u2019 \u201cWhat if\u2026\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, many people are dealing with that reality of trying to protect loved ones, and trying to sequester as much as they can, and do what they need to do. It\u2019s hard when you\u2019re wrangling, you know, a household of folks or someone who\u2019s compromised, elderly and such.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLisa, we need to take a break; but when we come back, I want to change our conversation, just slightly, and really talk about the quirks that this quarantine has revealed about the people who we live with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Sounds good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So stay tuned; we\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. I am joined via SquadCast\u2014kind of like a Zoom\u2014with Lisa Anderson of <em>The Boundless Show<\/em>. Lisa, we are talking, post-quarantine right now, and the things that we have learned\/the things that we are keeping. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe quarantine has revealed quirks and wrinkles in our relationships. We\u2019re in such close quarters with people; and so we are coming to see different things than we thought, and things that we really <em>don\u2019t<\/em> like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Right. I was thinking about this in the sense of, \u201cWow!\u201d Here I am\/I\u2019m single,\u201d\u2014although, I do have a roommate; and there are so many good things about that\u2014in that I have a number of single friends, who live alone; and they have truly been in isolation, now, for two months. It\u2019s just really wearing, and they\u2019re really having a hard time with it. I have a roommate, who\u2019s also one of my best friends. She and I generally get along very well, so that\u2019s been good; but it is funny just to think how the spotlight shines on certain things that you hadn\u2019t anticipated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo one thing that I realized is\u2014and again, this is going to apply to anyone, whether you have a roommate, or whether you are with family members\/with your spouse\u2014you always think that you\u2019re less selfish than you are\u2014[Laughter]\u2014until something like this comes up. You know, I think I\u2019m just like oh, so easy-going and whatever: \u201cI\u2019m just like a joy\/a dream to live with,\u201d\u2014whatever. Then you realize, \u201cOh!\u201d It makes me think: \u201cWow! People who are living with roommates, that actually don\u2019t know each other well or don\u2019t get along well, you know, my goodness; that must be so tough!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that I have noticed is that my roommate has very much this mentality of: \u201cWe just live in this place,\u201d and \u201cWhat\u2019s mine is yours,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re just in this together.\u201d I\u2019m much more of like, \u201cOkay, I need you to like\u2014my stuff is my stuff.\u201d Even little things that are totally ridiculous\u2014and this is where I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cAm I the most selfish person in the world?\u201d\u2014just funny things that can be irritations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019ve been noticing that\u2014I mean, just in <em>myself<\/em>. Okay, this is total confession time; this is like, \u201cThis is where Michelle lives!\u201d I\u2019m not as angry. Anger is like\u2014I don\u2019t want to say it\u2019s my pet sin; it\u2019s not something that I just sit there and, you know, stroke at night like a little kitty\u2014but I know that it\u2019s not right. It\u2019s something that I do face; and I have to continually go to God and say, \u201cPlease forgive me!\u201d; but it\u2019s because people are just people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that I\u2019m not around people, and I live alone, I\u2019m just finding that this sort of anger is <em>gone<\/em>, because I <em>can<\/em> be the selfish one; I can be the one, who\u2019s leaving the chocolate on the kitchen towel, and I can be the one who doesn\u2019t clean up after myself, and no one cares; because no one steps in my house!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, so here\u2019s the opposite of that, Michelle\u2014and this is where I have to tell on myself\u2014is that having a roommate is like, \u201cI <em>can\u2019t<\/em> just do whatever I want.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So if I want to, like, fritter away my time\u2014or like, for example, I can\u2019t just go downstairs and watch four hours of Netflix<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; because she will literally be like, \u201cWhy are you just watching all this TV?\u201d and be all up in my face about it\u2014you know, clearly implying: \u201cShouldn\u2019t you be reading Scripture?\u201d or \u201cShouldn\u2019t you be\u2026\u201d\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then it\u2019s like I have to operate on this false sense of, like: \u201cNo, I\u2019m doing stuff; I\u2019m being productive. I\u2019m doing\u2026\u201d [Laughter] I like make it look like I\u2019m doing something good, and then I go back and watch something if I want to. It is funny how\/you know, it\u2019s like my built-in accountability partner, just hanging over my shoulder all the time and saying, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not a good use of your time.\u201d I\u2019m like, <em>\u201cWhat?!\u201d <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cHow dare you! How dare you tell me that?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m all defensive about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes! Okay, so <em>how<\/em> do we deal with these wrinkles\/with these quirks? We know that they\u2019ve been revealed; and so, as we move forward, they\u2019re still there; they\u2019re just not as magnified.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So have you had conversations with your roommate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m hoping that what people realize in this is how generally poor at communication and conflict we are, regardless of quarantine and isolation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> I mean, this should shine the spotlight on us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good point!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Because now, it\u2019s just more magnified; whereas, you know, I used to say\u2014when I lived alone, which I did for like 13 years prior to having a roommate\u2014it was always great; because when someone irritated me, I just went home; and I just chilled. I was by myself, and I got back to my own routines and structures. Now, I can\u2019t do that; I actually have to address things. I think the biggest principle to think of, in a forward manner of thinking, is to keep short accounts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> So, again, the last thing you want to do is let something fester\u2014which is: \u201c[I\u2019ve] been there; done that,\u201d\u2014and then, letting it blow up; or doing, as I alluded to previously, of addressing something in a very passive-aggressive manner; or using humor, which I try to do, which always backfires on me\u2014so just to say: \u201cOkay, let\u2019s sit down. Can we just talk through a couple things, just moving forward: \u2018What this can look like\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother great example is\u2014I am the type of person who wants everything in its place. If I sit down on a chair, and I move the pillow to sit on the chair, when I stand up, I\u2019m going to put that pillow back. My roommate is like free-for-all; the couch is actually moved like two feet back, because we have bare floors. I\u2019m like, \u201cWhy is this couch at an angle?\u201d \u201cOh, because I was sitting on it.\u201d \u201cJust sitting on a couch?\u2014it physically moves by you being on it?\u201d And then it\u2019s like all askew and that drives me nuts! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo just talking about priorities like, you know: \u201cHaving things straightened up is a big deal for me. Can we just kind of come to some compromise of making that happen?\u2014or at the end of every day, for example? Maybe it doesn\u2019t have to be moved every moment; but at the end of every day, when we go to our separate parts of the house, just the house is kind of tidy; we\u2019ve kind of brought it back to where it was.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the Netflix thing or me frittering away time\u2014rather than her saying, \u201cYes, so how\u2019s your walk with Jesus going?\u201d or something like super passive-aggressive like, \u201cWhen was the last time you read through Revelation?\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014if she just says, \u201cYou know, Lisa, I\u2019ve noticed you\u2019ve been watching a lot of TV; hey, what\u2019s that about?\u201d Or you know: \u201cMaybe we, together, can encourage one another to do this a little differently,\u201d or \u201c\u2026spend tomorrow doing a \u2018No TV Day\u2019 or something.\u201d Then it kind of makes it a fun, proactive challenge, rather than, \u201cYou clearly are not saved, because all you\u2019re doing is watching this TV show.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, you know, we have to keep short accounts. We have to be willing to be kind, and honest, and direct about stuff\u2014not using the passive-aggressive behaviors or some other way of doing it\u2014not blowing up about it. Then realizing that we can all own our own stuff as well. Again, where I jokingly say, \u201cOh, it\u2019s good!\u201d\u2014because all the things that are wrong are my roommate\u2019s problem\u2014no; I realize I\u2019ve got my own stuff too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo leading with those and owning those\u2014and even going proactively to a person, whether it\u2019s your spouse, or your kids, or your roommate, or whatever\u2014and saying: \u201cHey! Let\u2019s do a little inventory. Tell me; how has this been going for you? Is there anything that I could be doing that would make this experience a little better for you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Because then you\u2019re not in a defensive posture. Then you\u2019re actually asking for it and inviting it, and it immediately sets the tone for it being more conciliatory in that sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a really good point: to actually be the humble person and to go in and say: \u201cOkay, how can I make this easier for <em>you<\/em> during this time? How do I set up the structure that would be best for both of us, so that we don\u2019t kill each other after all of this is done?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean, they\u2019re great principles to have after all this is done, too\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014in the sense of, you know, one thing I do is\u2014like if my roommate, who is a very relational person, and I tend to be more scattered\u2014I\u2019ll euphemize it as saying, \u201cOh, no; I\u2019m just a multi-tasker.\u201d She\u2019ll be talking to me, and I\u2019m like on my phone, clearing out emails on my phone, or doing something, or scrolling through social media. That, to her, is very disrespectful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has had to say to me, \u201cLisa, like when I\u2019m talking to you, can you just put your phone down and like look me in the eye?\u201d I realize that\u2019s a priority for her; that\u2019s honoring. It\u2019s a way for me to honor her by doing that, even though, technically\u2014and, who knows?\u2014I\u2019m probably not doing this well; I think that I can hear her and do these things at one time, but it just conveys disrespect and me deprioritizing her. So we\u2019ve been able to shift that pattern a little bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, you said earlier that none of us really has this handle on this communication and being honest with the other person. That\u2019s what this is bringing out! It\u2019s because, in all of us, there\u2019s a little bit of passive-aggressive: \u201cI\u2019m your Holy Spirit. I\u2019m here to tell you what you\u2019ve done wrong against me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is really bringing out the almost healing waters of, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes; oh, absolutely! Of course, with someone in your space, you\u2019re eventually going to have to address it; because it is just right there. But I\u2019ve even seen it\u2014I mean, there\u2019s even opportunity for conflict even with co-workers via email or via Zoom; or someone said they\u2019d deliver something, and they didn\u2019t. Now, you\u2019re like\u2014in fact, just yesterday, I had a \u201cmisunderstanding\u201d with someone in Finance. I had written this whole email. It was funny; because I actually told my roommate, at the end of the day\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cYes, I didn\u2019t send that,\u201d because, even as someone with a Communications degree, I could read it and realize I sounded super defensive; it sounded snarky. I just didn\u2019t have the bandwidth to go and recraft it in a way that would have been, you know, something that I could send. So I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s just not getting sent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, today, that person actually got back to me; and we\u2019re going to have a phone call about it, which is going to be a <em>lot<\/em> better; because\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014both of us probably are misunderstanding pieces of this. And let\u2019s be honest; it\u2019s finance, so I probably don\u2019t understand anything of what she\u2019s trying to tell me. It\u2019s just going to allow us to both get on common ground and work this out versus what is just a Matthew 18 situation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u2014of various hurt feelings here; there\u2019s misunderstanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014and what is so wrong to do is\u2014and this is where I was tempted: \u201cOkay, am I going to like email this person back?\u201d And then, because I know who all these people are, cc every boss they have in the chain of command; because then I\u2019m like, \u201cNow things are getting real.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> \u201cAnd we\u2019re going to get some accountability here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> No! This is just a misunderstanding that she and I need to work out. I don\u2019t need to make a power play here or be weird about it. I see that, in person, so often, where we\u2019re like\u2014you know, even in the office\u2014\u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to go to her boss and complain about her; then hopefully, they\u2019ll just do something.\u201d Then the boss, if they\u2019re a passive-aggressive person, they\u2019re going to call their entire team into a room and address something <em>generally<\/em> that, really, is just meant for one person. You know, it just snowballs into something crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve actually had that, where I\u2019ve had employees come and gripe at me about a fellow team member. I always say: \u201cOkay, look; if this is something that I have to step in on,\u201d\u2014because it\u2019s an HR issue; it\u2019s something that is structural\/you know, related to job descriptions\/whatever\u2014\u201cI will; but this sounds like you\u2019re just mad at this person. So you need to go to them directly and address that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re all like: \u201cWhaaat? You know, I don\u2019t want to upset the working relationship.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, you already did; because you\u2019re mad at them; so just go fix it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s like this is stuff that we learned in kindergarten; but then, somehow, we forgot it; and now we get into all these power plays and stuff that aren\u2019t helpful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So we learned it in kindergarten; we forgot it, and we relearned it during COVID-19. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> There you go; exactly! Good practices to put into place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, Lisa, this has been fun. Thank you so much for joining us and just helping us really think through, \u201cWhere is life heading once we get back?\u201d I know it won\u2019t go back to normal; but once we get back to the fact of, \u201cLet\u2019s move on from here; how do we do that?\u201d So thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Yes, and I just hope that it allows us to remember that, you know, in essence, we need to love everyone. We need to care for everyone\u2019s hearts and spirits, whether we are stuck in a house with them, or whether we\u2019re in a workplace with them, or in a grocery store with them\u2014wherever we are\u2014looking at other people as Christ looks at them. That\u2019s going to be a good place for us to get started in <em>any<\/em> relational pursuits, now and in the future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Good word; good word. Thanks, Lisa!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lisa:<\/strong> Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Lisa Anderson from <em>The<\/em> <em>Boundless Show<\/em>, giving us some <em>great<\/em> advice on how to move forward past the quarantine. Hey, also, if you need some further resources for your family on how to continue moving forward after quarantine, check out our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com; that\u2019s FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, next week, we\u2019re going to hear from Sally Lloyd-Jones. You\u2019ve heard of her, right? She\u2019s the author of <em>The Jesus Storybook Bible, <\/em>and she has an amazing way of interacting with children. She\u2019s going to model for us how to tell stories to kids. It will be a <em>great<\/em> show next week, so I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our production team today; to Keith, and Marques, Justin, and Megan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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