{"id":306048,"date":"2020-05-27T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-05-27T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/find-your-identity-in-christ\/"},"modified":"2020-05-27T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-05-27T11:00:05","slug":"find-your-identity-in-christ","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/find-your-identity-in-christ\/","title":{"rendered":"Find Your Identity in Christ"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Like many men, Cory Carlson found great success and meaning climbing the corporate ladder. But when he put too much focus on his career and not enough attention on his wife, he almost lost his marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:00","filesize":"30.22M","filesize_raw":"31688247","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2901],"tags":[4874],"podcast_series":[8362],"cwp_profile":[9624],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-306048","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-husbands","tag-infidelity","podcast_series-win-at-home-first","cwp_profile-cory-carlson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/306048\/find-your-identity-in-christ","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/306048\/find-your-identity-in-christ","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"EG8ootZPA8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/find-your-identity-in-christ\/\">Find Your Identity in Christ<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/find-your-identity-in-christ\/embed\/#?secret=EG8ootZPA8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Find Your Identity in Christ&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"EG8ootZPA8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Having our life priorities in order\u2014that\u2019s important. It\u2019s easy for really important priorities\u2014our spiritual life\/our relationships\u2014to get sidetracked while we start to prioritize the wrong things. Cory Carlson says that\u2019s been his experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I know the right order it should be if I want to live life to the full; but in times of stress, times of frustration, times of anger, I personally can actually get them upside down. I\u2019m the provider for our family, so I get nervous about: \u201cDo we have enough money? Do I have enough clients in the pipeline?\u201d You know, I can have a scarcity mindset. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s root\u2014for me personally\u2014that\u2019s rooted back to my childhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Sometimes, the urgent things are not really the important things; and sometimes, the important things don\u2019t wind up being urgent. How do we make sure we maintain the right priorities as we live our lives? We\u2019re going to talk today with Cory Carlson about that. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to get to do a little coaching; this is your chance to coach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to coach?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, you do this with guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are we going to go Post Route against Cover Two, or are we going to\u2014no; what are we talking about?\u2014coaching. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about coaching guys to keep their priorities where they need to be and figure out how you balance the priority of providing for your family\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Because I\u2019m so good at it; right, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You are good at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019ve learned some things along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I have learned some things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. You want to introduce who is going to help us with all of this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve got Cory Carlson here today with a <em>great<\/em> book. I <em>love<\/em> the title because one of the things Ann and I try to do, when we speak, is talk about how to win at home. The most <em>important<\/em> area in your life is to win <em>first<\/em> at home, which is the title of your book. You had to learn that in your own life as well, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And Cory, you do all kinds of coaching\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014all kinds of coaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014not on a football field like me\u2014but more important coaching; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. It is with corporate execs, business owners, small business owners; really, it was so interesting\u2014because I would be with these clients\u2014we\u2019d talk about vision and values. When we got one on one on the call, what was really keeping the executive up at night was none of those; it was: \u201cHow can I be more intentional with my spouse?\u201d \u201cHow can be more proactive with my kids?\u201d \u201cHow do I lose ten pounds?\u201d \u201cHow do I drink less?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce you went home first, then you have extra margin in your life to be empathetic with your coworkers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If a guy is figuring out how to win at home, he becomes a better employee. You don\u2019t get <em>less<\/em> of him; you get the better of him; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you mention The Five Capitals, and I know it\u2019s the first section into your book. Let\u2019s talk about them; what are they? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> The Five Capitals is the idea that Jesus, in John 10:10, says, \u201cI came to give life\u2014life to the full.\u201d All of us don\u2019t feel we live life to the full, right?\u2014it\u2019s running from meeting to meeting, email to email; and life can feel chaotic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the early 2000\u2019s, a book, <em>Freakonomics<\/em>, came out, where it was talking about, really, the complexity of the world and how it comes down to different currencies, and bartering, and things. The folks that created The Five Capitals thought, \u201cAlright; this is great for <em>Freakonomics<\/em>,\u201d but what would Jesus say about it? Taking a look at a couple of different parables\u2014the Parable of Talents\/the Parable of the Shrewd Manager\u2014and then different verses to come up with the five capitals\u2014that in order to live life to the full, then, we can get these five capitals in the right order; then, we can do just that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first one is spiritual, which is: \u201cLove God.\u201d The second one is relational; so \u201cLove others.\u201d The third one is physical; right?\u2014the idea that you can\u2019t do anything for God, for kingdom, for your family, if you\u2019re dead\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so \u201cHow are you taking care of yourself as well as managing your schedule?\u201d The fourth one is intellectual; it\u2019s about insights and ideas. The last one is financial, which is about stewardship and generosity. Those are the five capitals in the right order, but it\u2019s so hard to go put them in the right order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s interesting is a lot of it comes from our own\/some of our own brokenness. For me, personally, I know the right order it should be if I want to live a life to the full; but in times of stress, times of frustration, times of anger, I personally actually get them upside down. I\u2019m the provider for our family, so I get nervous about: \u201cDo we have enough money?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u201cDo I have enough clients in the pipeline?\u201d I can have a scarcity mindset. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me personally, that\u2019s rooted back to my childhood. When I was 15, my mom died from breast cancer; and my dad had some bouts of unemployment during that time. The lie that I made was: \u201cIt\u2019s all on me. My parents aren\u2019t going to be able to do it for me, financially. God\u2019s not looking out for me.\u201d That\u2019s a lie that I made.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinancial could be my number one go-to\/what I get concerned about. When that happens, I then go to intellectual capital, which is: \u201cI\u2019m working. If I need more money, I need more clients. Therefore, I better listen to more podcasts; I better read more books; I better watch more YouTube videos on speakers.\u201d Then that goes to physical capital, where it\u2019s all about working; I\u2019m working around the clock. Then the next\u2014well, none of that is working\u2014then I\u2019ll ask some buddies for some help. [Laughter] If none of that works, I might ask God if He\u2019s got any ideas; [Laughter] you know? I can totally get them upside down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is interesting is\u2014I think about this and even reflect back to my whole childhood. I was talking to\/sharing some of this with my dad. I found out, just here in recent years\u2014that year that my dad was unemployed\u2014the church paid for our mortgage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Didn\u2019t know that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I had <em>no<\/em> idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> So <em>hearing<\/em> that and reflecting back\u2014say, \u201cWait; God is the Provider,\u201d\u2014yes, I have to pound the nail every day; yes, I have to steward what I have well\/I can\u2019t just sit on the couch\u2014but in the end, it\u2019s God\u2019s provision. That helps me recalibrate to get them back in the right order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So how does a businessman\/businesswoman, like yourself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014put the spiritual capital as number one? How do you functionally\/practically keep Jesus as your top priority\u2014that relationship? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s the rhythm look like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> You know, as Paul talks about never cease praying. A lot of times, when I work with individuals\u2014even myself\u2014it is: \u201cAre you going to God for your identity?\u2014for intimacy with Him?\u201d We talked earlier about different times in my life, where I\u2019ve gone other places to find my identity: \u201cAm I a man?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s based on having the corner office\/different things like that\u2014but going to God for that identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnderstanding how to find time\u2014I love, even in Mark and other Gospels, but where Mark 1 and 2 are Jesus\u2014He is healing people and doing <em>amazing<\/em> things; but yet, He retreats. He goes to God to understand His vision again. Then, when He comes around to the disciples, the disciples are like: \u201cWhere have You been? We\u2019ve been looking for You.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cThis is not why I came; we have to go on to the town.\u201d It\u2019s just resetting with God of what\u2019s going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can look a <em>variety<\/em> of different ways. One is, for sure, a quiet time. I\u2019ve had mentors in my life talk about journaling, so I\u2019ve been journaling\u2014that\u2019s a big piece\u2014so different devotion books\u2014things like that. Some people are good about that practice; but what I find, where people lose the idea of having spiritual capital at the top, is they do their quiet time in the morning and then it\u2019s off to the races. It\u2019s off to the races all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis idea of, where Paul says, never cease praying\u2014to me, and what I try to work on my own life, but also clients\u2014is throughout the day. In between, from meeting to meeting\u2014instead of grabbing your phone, going straight to social media and seeing the Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> feed, seeing the Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> post, checking emails\u2014stop; just pray, like: \u201cThank You, God, for that awesome meeting. Thanks for the insight You gave me. Lord, I pray for help on this next meeting. Give me clarity; give me wisdom for what I need to say.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s that idea: throughout the day, of putting that spiritual capital at top. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re acknowledging His presence all day long: talking to Him all day long, seeking His wisdom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good habit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes, then we talk about different life hacks. Some Bible apps you can set the time for the reminder. I\u2019ve set mine up for 2 pm, because I can find that I can get drifted off into email land and doing all these different things; and if I get that email at 2, it\u2019s like, \u201cWhoa; hold up.\u201d Now, in full transparency, there were some days, I was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a great verse; delete,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014move on to the next one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> But there are other days, it\u2019s like, \u201cPerfect; I\u2019m going to read this, and I\u2019m going to sit and think on this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting that the second capital, right away, is relational. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s who are you doing life with: \u201cWho are you investing in?\u201d \u201cWho is investing in you?\u201d I know who you are yoked with\/who you are doing life with is <em>totally<\/em> going to\u2014now, we know, as parents, we tell our kids this; right?\u2014\u201cYou hang out with bad kids; bad things happen,\u201d\u2014but as adults, we often don\u2019t do the same thing; right? This relational capital is <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> What I find with the relational capital\u2014especially with clients\/even, this is myself\u2014where we may not even have friends. In high school\/college, we had a lot of friends; it was great. Then we get married, and we start to have kids. Then we start to work\u2014and we are just busy, busy, busy\u2014that we start to lose touch of friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, this hit hard one time because, when I was president of sales for a national contractor\u2014and I was travelling about every week and going around the country with, basically, I had 30 sales reps\u2014I was spending time with them; I was investing in them\u2014I was in with the company. Then, when I\u2019d come home, I wanted to be super husband and super dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when <em>my<\/em> coach had mentioned something about some of this teaching, it hit me hard like, \u201cWait; that\u2019s me\u201d; like: \u201cI am doing pretty good with my relationship with God\u2014going to Him\/quiet time\u2014and I\u2019m out and having impact, and the marketplace is going well; but man, my relational capital is not good at all.\u201d I knew I had friends I could call, and go watch a game with or do something with, but no one I was doing life with\/no one that could hold me accountable on different things, as you mentioned with that yoke. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made a change; I reached out to some guys\u2014kind of prayed through\u2014\u201cWho are the guys that I needed to start investing in?\u201d That was a few years ago. Fast-forward; now, I\u2019ve got a fantastic men\u2019s group on Monday nights\u2014went on a hiking trip this\/about a month or two ago, and just doing <em>neat<\/em> things like that, that I didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI find, so often, with business owners and corporate execs, this lacks; this lacks. They don\u2019t have friends, with whom they are doing life with, that they get together\u2014and this isn\u2019t just get together, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about stocks, weather, our golf score, and the latest trade in some sport,\u201d\u2014but it\u2019s actually <em>talking<\/em> about <em>life<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> It\u2019s talking about marriage. It\u2019s talking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014your struggles, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Stuff that matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, talk about that. In the book, you go to marriage; you go to parenting. One of the big things you mention, that really impacted me as I read it, was: \u201cIdentity and pouring that into your children.\u201d Talk about how you\u2019ve done that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Identity became an important thing to me, where learning of that\/the idea of being a beloved son or a beloved daughter of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m involved in a men\u2019s ministry. We also\u2014we\u2019re now kind of branching into women as well\u2014it\u2019s called The New Frontier. Through that, we talk a lot about the identity of\u2014and even looking at Jesus\u2019s life as the example, where He first found His identity; right?\u2014He\u2019s baptized; and God says, \u201cYou are a beloved Son,\u201d and then from that flows the mission. Now, He knows what to go do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter just seeing that,\u00a0 that became so critical, where I would go to my mission in my 20\u2019s and 30\u2019s\u2014and that defined who I was: \u201cI\u2019m a corporate businessman,\u201d or these different titles\u2014so many people would do that. Seeing the shift that that made in my life, I wanted to make sure my kids had it. My daughter\u2014when she turned 13, there were all kinds of coming-of-age ceremonies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014that you could see out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But yours is unique, because I\u2019ve read a lot of different ceremonies of our kids coming of age. Share about what you did with your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Oh, well, thank you. As I was looking for daughters\u2019 ceremonies, they all involved the mom only; and then there were great father\/son ones; but I couldn\u2019t find any father\/daughter ones. That, obviously, bothered me a lot. I mean, Holly and Kylie\u2014that\u2019s our oldest\u2014they\u2019ve got a great relationship; and they can do\/they can do a lot of mother\/daughter things; that\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wanted to be involved in this ceremony because\u2014one, it\u2019s so important to me\u2014but also, in my learnings, I\u2019ve just consistently found that so many\u2014even corporate leaders\u2014their brokenness\/their disturbed view of our heavenly Father has to do with their earthly father. So often, if their earthly father did not show a lot of love or was not around, well, therefore, they think God is that way. I just kept seeing that. I was like: \u201cNo, I want to step into this. I want to try to be an earthly father that shows love, and casts vision, and do all of these things that God does.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that whole process\u2014doing some research\u2014couldn\u2019t find anything that I liked. Pastor of the church I go to\u2014his name is Brian Tome at Crossroads\u2014he wrote an awesome book called <em>Five Marks of a Man<\/em>. It talks about the five different things that differentiate a man from a boy\u2014love that\u2014but I couldn\u2019t apply that to a girl. Had that idea, but couldn\u2019t necessarily do it exactly the way I wanted to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo Holly and I felt called to go to Proverbs 31 and take a look at that verse. Liking the idea of five from <em>Five Marks of a Man<\/em>, we felt God lay on our heart five words that we were to affirm Kylie in at that age. Now, there are more words than just these five that we could have selected; and I think when we do it for our next daughter, there will be another word we may pull out; or if we do this again for Kylie when she\u2019s older, it may be a different word, just due to the kind of the diversity and the just uniqueness of this woman in Proverbs 31. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the five words we chose were: \u201ccharacter,\u201d \u201ccommitted,\u201d \u201cgenerous,\u201d \u201cinfluential,\u201d and \u201cexcellence.\u201d Of those five words, we assigned one of those words to a man\u2014like one of my good buddies\u2014and then he wrote a letter to her. The letter was, \u201cThis is how I live out this word in my own life; but this is how I also see it in a godly woman and how you can live it out.\u201d Then Holly took those same five words and assigned one to each different person of her friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> We get these letters back. I was blown away by the wisdom of friends and family that did that. Then her birthday was July 1<sup>st<\/sup>. We had, at basically four o\u2019clock, I had some guys come over. They read their letters, and we talked for a little bit. It was\u2014I mean, it, for sure, started off awkward. My daughter is at the head of the table; we\u2019ve got men around this table, and it\u2019s just like we\u2019re all kind of staring. Luckily, a buddy cracked a joke; it was funny\u2014loosened it all up\u2014but we read these letters to her, and then she asked some <em>great<\/em> questions. We had some good conversation; then we prayed over her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we left. Holly and I took Kylie out to eat\u2014went to a nice restaurant, and had some steak, and just celebrated\u2014but just affirmed her and who she is, and why we were doing this, and the importance of it\u2014had a neat dinner. Came home; Holly did the same thing but, now, with women around the table. They read the letters. I don\u2019t know all that was going on; I wasn\u2019t in there. They read the letters and talked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I wasn\u2019t in there; because I was outside, with some buddies, putting together a fire. We put together a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to have fire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to have fire\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014at all times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Love it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014even for a girl party. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were outside, putting together a fire; and there was\u2014driving to work one day, I heard on the Christian radio station\u2014Kate Battistelli was doing this talk about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExodus 38. I\u2019ve never really paid much attention to Exodus 38, especially this particular verse. In it, it said that the women had to hand over their bronze mirrors to be melted to make the washbasins for the tabernacle. As she unpacks it, that verse more is about the idea of women\u2019s beauty is great; but it can\u2019t come before God\u2014a little bit like we talked about earlier\u2014The Five Capitals. I mean, it\u2019s great to be fit; it\u2019s great to\u2014you know, beauty\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It can\u2019t be their identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014can\u2019t be their identity either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> In that, I just <em>loved<\/em> that teaching that I heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, in other settings, I have been a part of ceremonies at different churches\u2014that idea of \u201cburn your ships.\u201d I\u2019ve found breakthrough when I write something down, and I burn it; there feels some freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTaking all those ideas together, what we did is\u2014we went outside to our campfire. Now, we\u2019ve got people round the campfire and Kylie. We give Kylie a blank bronze mirror and a Sharpie. We just told her to write down all of her, basically, image issues: \u201cWhere does she take her identity?\u201d I don\u2019t know what she wrote down; it was\/obviously, it was confidential. I\u2019m sure it had something to do with perfect body, straight A\u2019s, social media likes\u2014different things like that. She writes them down, throws it in the fire, and then we watch them melt. It was awesome\/still awesome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter that takes place, my wife had embroidered those five <em>new<\/em> words onto a bronze mirror; and we gave it to her. We just affirmed in her that her identity is a beloved daughter: \u201cThese are traits that we feel God wanted us to affirm in you. You are <em>not<\/em> these things in the fire.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I just want to say\u2014to have your dad and to have other men, as a young woman, speak into you is an amazing gift; because I\u2019ve seen this done countless times with women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of myself, back as a young woman: I didn\u2019t even know my dad. I knew that he went to work, and he talked to me some; but I didn\u2019t really know him, and he had no idea who I was. For a dad to speak into a young woman\u2014it\u2019s so important for a mom\u2014but for a dad, and even his friends, that are saying: \u201cThis is where you find value. This is who God says you are. This is what we see in you,\u201d that\u2019s life changing. That\u2019s a marked moment that she will never forget. Well done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes, thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; way to go. Fist bump. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Thanks. A lot goes to my wife as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I totally agree on the earthly father piece. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> But just\u2014I mean, having Holly involved as well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014I mean, it was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> To have both is remarkable and beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014because she saw the unity in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is an example of what winning at home first looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you talk about it in the book; it is weaved through the book. You share your successes like this and your failures along the way, and this is going to help a lot of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thank you for coming and doing this, talking about this, and thanks for the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Well, thank you very much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to imagine there are a lot of people, who\u2019ve been listening to our conversation this week, who are saying: \u201cThat\u2019s what I need. I need to get my priorities in order, and I need to make sure that I\u2019m focused on the right stuff.\u201d I\u2019d encourage people to get a copy of the book, <em>Win at Home First<\/em>, by Cory Carlson. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Cory\u2019s book, again, is called <em>Win at Home First<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have just got a couple of days left before the month of May is over. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is here with me. David, the month of May is a significant month for us. We\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to help us take advantage of a matching-gift opportunity that has been made available to us this month. Every donation we are receiving here in the next few days is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $345,000. Honestly, this is a critical time for us, as a ministry; we hope to take full advantage of this matching gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; there has, maybe, never been in the last decade a matching gift that\u2019s been as important for FamilyLife as this one. Actually, two days ago, Dennis Rainey and I were connecting over Zoom and having our regular touchpoint. I was asking him to reflect on times throughout his four decades of leadership at FamilyLife that have been similar to this. He said, \u201cWell, there\u2019s been certainly \u201908, and there has been one or two other seasons; but the unknowns of what comes ahead really\u2014this is a unique one.\u201d He just said, \u201cDavid, I am praying for you; and I\u2019m praying for the whole ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCertainly, a founder transition is a <em>big<\/em> thing to navigate; it\u2019s been going so well. Yet, throw a pandemic into that, and this is something challenging for us to walk through. We ask you\u2014we want to continue the legacy of helping families, with everything that we have, pointing them to the gospel and helping them experience the truth and life found in Scripture for their marriage and for their family. If you are able to give, we are a donor-supported ministry in need of your help in this season. If you are able, please give and help us meet this match. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We know, for some of you, this is a very challenging time for your family; and you\u2019ve had to kind of cut back to the bare minimum; we get that. For those of you, who are able, if you can be extra generous to help cover for those who can\u2019t be generous in this season, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep in mind: your donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar. We\u2019re going to send you, as a thank-you gift, Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, which is called <em>My Heart, Ever His<\/em>, a <em>great<\/em> book on how to pray more effectively during challenging seasons\/challenging times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, if you are able to join us as a monthly Legacy Partner\u2014and we need more Legacy Partners\/those of you who can give each month to support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014your gift is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, throughout the rest of this year. Every gift you give for the next several months will be matched; <em>and<\/em> we\u2019ll send you, as a thank-you gift, a certificate so you or someone you know can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. We\u2019re going to be back, hosting getaways this fall and next spring; so that certificate will be good whenever you are ready to use it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to give a one-time gift or to become a Legacy Partner and help us take advantage of this matching gift. You can also connect with us by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Thanks, in advance, for your partnership with us; and we look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how much more our children can grab onto, and comprehend, and understand from the Bible than most of us realize as parents. We\u2019ve got a great opportunity to pour a lot of biblical truth into their hearts when they are young. Jennifer Lyell will be here to talk with us about that tomorrow. I hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:33:00"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.22M"],"filesize_raw":["31688247"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-306048.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-306048.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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many men, Cory Carlson found great success and meaning climbing the corporate ladder. But when he put too much focus on his career and not enough attention on his wife, he almost lost his marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Having our life priorities in order\u2014that\u2019s important. It\u2019s easy for really important priorities\u2014our spiritual life\/our relationships\u2014to get sidetracked while we start to prioritize the wrong things. Cory Carlson says that\u2019s been his experience. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I know the right order it should be if I want to live life to the full; but in times of stress, times of frustration, times of anger, I personally can actually get them upside down. I\u2019m the provider for our family, so I get nervous about: \u201cDo we have enough money? Do I have enough clients in the pipeline?\u201d You know, I can have a scarcity mindset. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s root\u2014for me personally\u2014that\u2019s rooted back to my childhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Sometimes, the urgent things are not really the important things; and sometimes, the important things don\u2019t wind up being urgent. How do we make sure we maintain the right priorities as we live our lives? We\u2019re going to talk today with Cory Carlson about that. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to get to do a little coaching; this is your chance to coach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to coach?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, you do this with guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Are we going to go Post Route against Cover Two, or are we going to\u2014no; what are we talking about?\u2014coaching. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re talking about coaching guys to keep their priorities where they need to be and figure out how you balance the priority of providing for your family\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Because I\u2019m so good at it; right, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You are good at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019ve learned some things along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I have learned some things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. You want to introduce who is going to help us with all of this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve got Cory Carlson here today with a <em>great<\/em> book. I <em>love<\/em> the title because one of the things Ann and I try to do, when we speak, is talk about how to win at home. The most <em>important<\/em> area in your life is to win <em>first<\/em> at home, which is the title of your book. You had to learn that in your own life as well, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And Cory, you do all kinds of coaching\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014all kinds of coaching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014not on a football field like me\u2014but more important coaching; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. It is with corporate execs, business owners, small business owners; really, it was so interesting\u2014because I would be with these clients\u2014we\u2019d talk about vision and values. When we got one on one on the call, what was really keeping the executive up at night was none of those; it was: \u201cHow can I be more intentional with my spouse?\u201d \u201cHow can be more proactive with my kids?\u201d \u201cHow do I lose ten pounds?\u201d \u201cHow do I drink less?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce you went home first, then you have extra margin in your life to be empathetic with your coworkers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If a guy is figuring out how to win at home, he becomes a better employee. You don\u2019t get <em>less<\/em> of him; you get the better of him; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So you mention The Five Capitals, and I know it\u2019s the first section into your book. Let\u2019s talk about them; what are they? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> The Five Capitals is the idea that Jesus, in John 10:10, says, \u201cI came to give life\u2014life to the full.\u201d All of us don\u2019t feel we live life to the full, right?\u2014it\u2019s running from meeting to meeting, email to email; and life can feel chaotic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the early 2000\u2019s, a book, <em>Freakonomics<\/em>, came out, where it was talking about, really, the complexity of the world and how it comes down to different currencies, and bartering, and things. The folks that created The Five Capitals thought, \u201cAlright; this is great for <em>Freakonomics<\/em>,\u201d but what would Jesus say about it? Taking a look at a couple of different parables\u2014the Parable of Talents\/the Parable of the Shrewd Manager\u2014and then different verses to come up with the five capitals\u2014that in order to live life to the full, then, we can get these five capitals in the right order; then, we can do just that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first one is spiritual, which is: \u201cLove God.\u201d The second one is relational; so \u201cLove others.\u201d The third one is physical; right?\u2014the idea that you can\u2019t do anything for God, for kingdom, for your family, if you\u2019re dead\u2014[Laughter]\u2014so \u201cHow are you taking care of yourself as well as managing your schedule?\u201d The fourth one is intellectual; it\u2019s about insights and ideas. The last one is financial, which is about stewardship and generosity. Those are the five capitals in the right order, but it\u2019s so hard to go put them in the right order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s interesting is a lot of it comes from our own\/some of our own brokenness. For me, personally, I know the right order it should be if I want to live a life to the full; but in times of stress, times of frustration, times of anger, I personally actually get them upside down. I\u2019m the provider for our family, so I get nervous about: \u201cDo we have enough money?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u201cDo I have enough clients in the pipeline?\u201d I can have a scarcity mindset. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me personally, that\u2019s rooted back to my childhood. When I was 15, my mom died from breast cancer; and my dad had some bouts of unemployment during that time. The lie that I made was: \u201cIt\u2019s all on me. My parents aren\u2019t going to be able to do it for me, financially. God\u2019s not looking out for me.\u201d That\u2019s a lie that I made.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinancial could be my number one go-to\/what I get concerned about. When that happens, I then go to intellectual capital, which is: \u201cI\u2019m working. If I need more money, I need more clients. Therefore, I better listen to more podcasts; I better read more books; I better watch more YouTube videos on speakers.\u201d Then that goes to physical capital, where it\u2019s all about working; I\u2019m working around the clock. Then the next\u2014well, none of that is working\u2014then I\u2019ll ask some buddies for some help. [Laughter] If none of that works, I might ask God if He\u2019s got any ideas; [Laughter] you know? I can totally get them upside down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is interesting is\u2014I think about this and even reflect back to my whole childhood. I was talking to\/sharing some of this with my dad. I found out, just here in recent years\u2014that year that my dad was unemployed\u2014the church paid for our mortgage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Didn\u2019t know that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I had <em>no<\/em> idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> So <em>hearing<\/em> that and reflecting back\u2014say, \u201cWait; God is the Provider,\u201d\u2014yes, I have to pound the nail every day; yes, I have to steward what I have well\/I can\u2019t just sit on the couch\u2014but in the end, it\u2019s God\u2019s provision. That helps me recalibrate to get them back in the right order. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So how does a businessman\/businesswoman, like yourself\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014put the spiritual capital as number one? How do you functionally\/practically keep Jesus as your top priority\u2014that relationship? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What\u2019s the rhythm look like? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> You know, as Paul talks about never cease praying. A lot of times, when I work with individuals\u2014even myself\u2014it is: \u201cAre you going to God for your identity?\u2014for intimacy with Him?\u201d We talked earlier about different times in my life, where I\u2019ve gone other places to find my identity: \u201cAm I a man?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s based on having the corner office\/different things like that\u2014but going to God for that identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnderstanding how to find time\u2014I love, even in Mark and other Gospels, but where Mark 1 and 2 are Jesus\u2014He is healing people and doing <em>amazing<\/em> things; but yet, He retreats. He goes to God to understand His vision again. Then, when He comes around to the disciples, the disciples are like: \u201cWhere have You been? We\u2019ve been looking for You.\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cThis is not why I came; we have to go on to the town.\u201d It\u2019s just resetting with God of what\u2019s going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can look a <em>variety<\/em> of different ways. One is, for sure, a quiet time. I\u2019ve had mentors in my life talk about journaling, so I\u2019ve been journaling\u2014that\u2019s a big piece\u2014so different devotion books\u2014things like that. Some people are good about that practice; but what I find, where people lose the idea of having spiritual capital at the top, is they do their quiet time in the morning and then it\u2019s off to the races. It\u2019s off to the races all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis idea of, where Paul says, never cease praying\u2014to me, and what I try to work on my own life, but also clients\u2014is throughout the day. In between, from meeting to meeting\u2014instead of grabbing your phone, going straight to social media and seeing the Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> feed, seeing the Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> post, checking emails\u2014stop; just pray, like: \u201cThank You, God, for that awesome meeting. Thanks for the insight You gave me. Lord, I pray for help on this next meeting. Give me clarity; give me wisdom for what I need to say.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s that idea: throughout the day, of putting that spiritual capital at top. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re acknowledging His presence all day long: talking to Him all day long, seeking His wisdom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014all day long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good habit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes, then we talk about different life hacks. Some Bible apps you can set the time for the reminder. I\u2019ve set mine up for 2 pm, because I can find that I can get drifted off into email land and doing all these different things; and if I get that email at 2, it\u2019s like, \u201cWhoa; hold up.\u201d Now, in full transparency, there were some days, I was like, \u201cOh, that\u2019s a great verse; delete,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014move on to the next one. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> But there are other days, it\u2019s like, \u201cPerfect; I\u2019m going to read this, and I\u2019m going to sit and think on this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting that the second capital, right away, is relational. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s who are you doing life with: \u201cWho are you investing in?\u201d \u201cWho is investing in you?\u201d I know who you are yoked with\/who you are doing life with is <em>totally<\/em> going to\u2014now, we know, as parents, we tell our kids this; right?\u2014\u201cYou hang out with bad kids; bad things happen,\u201d\u2014but as adults, we often don\u2019t do the same thing; right? This relational capital is <em>huge<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> What I find with the relational capital\u2014especially with clients\/even, this is myself\u2014where we may not even have friends. In high school\/college, we had a lot of friends; it was great. Then we get married, and we start to have kids. Then we start to work\u2014and we are just busy, busy, busy\u2014that we start to lose touch of friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, this hit hard one time because, when I was president of sales for a national contractor\u2014and I was travelling about every week and going around the country with, basically, I had 30 sales reps\u2014I was spending time with them; I was investing in them\u2014I was in with the company. Then, when I\u2019d come home, I wanted to be super husband and super dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when <em>my<\/em> coach had mentioned something about some of this teaching, it hit me hard like, \u201cWait; that\u2019s me\u201d; like: \u201cI am doing pretty good with my relationship with God\u2014going to Him\/quiet time\u2014and I\u2019m out and having impact, and the marketplace is going well; but man, my relational capital is not good at all.\u201d I knew I had friends I could call, and go watch a game with or do something with, but no one I was doing life with\/no one that could hold me accountable on different things, as you mentioned with that yoke. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made a change; I reached out to some guys\u2014kind of prayed through\u2014\u201cWho are the guys that I needed to start investing in?\u201d That was a few years ago. Fast-forward; now, I\u2019ve got a fantastic men\u2019s group on Monday nights\u2014went on a hiking trip this\/about a month or two ago, and just doing <em>neat<\/em> things like that, that I didn\u2019t have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI find, so often, with business owners and corporate execs, this lacks; this lacks. They don\u2019t have friends, with whom they are doing life with, that they get together\u2014and this isn\u2019t just get together, \u201cLet\u2019s talk about stocks, weather, our golf score, and the latest trade in some sport,\u201d\u2014but it\u2019s actually <em>talking<\/em> about <em>life<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> It\u2019s talking about marriage. It\u2019s talking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014your struggles, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Stuff that matters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, talk about that. In the book, you go to marriage; you go to parenting. One of the big things you mention, that really impacted me as I read it, was: \u201cIdentity and pouring that into your children.\u201d Talk about how you\u2019ve done that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Identity became an important thing to me, where learning of that\/the idea of being a beloved son or a beloved daughter of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m involved in a men\u2019s ministry. We also\u2014we\u2019re now kind of branching into women as well\u2014it\u2019s called The New Frontier. Through that, we talk a lot about the identity of\u2014and even looking at Jesus\u2019s life as the example, where He first found His identity; right?\u2014He\u2019s baptized; and God says, \u201cYou are a beloved Son,\u201d and then from that flows the mission. Now, He knows what to go do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter just seeing that,\u00a0 that became so critical, where I would go to my mission in my 20\u2019s and 30\u2019s\u2014and that defined who I was: \u201cI\u2019m a corporate businessman,\u201d or these different titles\u2014so many people would do that. Seeing the shift that that made in my life, I wanted to make sure my kids had it. My daughter\u2014when she turned 13, there were all kinds of coming-of-age ceremonies\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014that you could see out there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But yours is unique, because I\u2019ve read a lot of different ceremonies of our kids coming of age. Share about what you did with your daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Oh, well, thank you. As I was looking for daughters\u2019 ceremonies, they all involved the mom only; and then there were great father\/son ones; but I couldn\u2019t find any father\/daughter ones. That, obviously, bothered me a lot. I mean, Holly and Kylie\u2014that\u2019s our oldest\u2014they\u2019ve got a great relationship; and they can do\/they can do a lot of mother\/daughter things; that\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wanted to be involved in this ceremony because\u2014one, it\u2019s so important to me\u2014but also, in my learnings, I\u2019ve just consistently found that so many\u2014even corporate leaders\u2014their brokenness\/their disturbed view of our heavenly Father has to do with their earthly father. So often, if their earthly father did not show a lot of love or was not around, well, therefore, they think God is that way. I just kept seeing that. I was like: \u201cNo, I want to step into this. I want to try to be an earthly father that shows love, and casts vision, and do all of these things that God does.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that whole process\u2014doing some research\u2014couldn\u2019t find anything that I liked. Pastor of the church I go to\u2014his name is Brian Tome at Crossroads\u2014he wrote an awesome book called <em>Five Marks of a Man<\/em>. It talks about the five different things that differentiate a man from a boy\u2014love that\u2014but I couldn\u2019t apply that to a girl. Had that idea, but couldn\u2019t necessarily do it exactly the way I wanted to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo Holly and I felt called to go to Proverbs 31 and take a look at that verse. Liking the idea of five from <em>Five Marks of a Man<\/em>, we felt God lay on our heart five words that we were to affirm Kylie in at that age. Now, there are more words than just these five that we could have selected; and I think when we do it for our next daughter, there will be another word we may pull out; or if we do this again for Kylie when she\u2019s older, it may be a different word, just due to the kind of the diversity and the just uniqueness of this woman in Proverbs 31. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the five words we chose were: \u201ccharacter,\u201d \u201ccommitted,\u201d \u201cgenerous,\u201d \u201cinfluential,\u201d and \u201cexcellence.\u201d Of those five words, we assigned one of those words to a man\u2014like one of my good buddies\u2014and then he wrote a letter to her. The letter was, \u201cThis is how I live out this word in my own life; but this is how I also see it in a godly woman and how you can live it out.\u201d Then Holly took those same five words and assigned one to each different person of her friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> We get these letters back. I was blown away by the wisdom of friends and family that did that. Then her birthday was July 1<sup>st<\/sup>. We had, at basically four o\u2019clock, I had some guys come over. They read their letters, and we talked for a little bit. It was\u2014I mean, it, for sure, started off awkward. My daughter is at the head of the table; we\u2019ve got men around this table, and it\u2019s just like we\u2019re all kind of staring. Luckily, a buddy cracked a joke; it was funny\u2014loosened it all up\u2014but we read these letters to her, and then she asked some <em>great<\/em> questions. We had some good conversation; then we prayed over her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we left. Holly and I took Kylie out to eat\u2014went to a nice restaurant, and had some steak, and just celebrated\u2014but just affirmed her and who she is, and why we were doing this, and the importance of it\u2014had a neat dinner. Came home; Holly did the same thing but, now, with women around the table. They read the letters. I don\u2019t know all that was going on; I wasn\u2019t in there. They read the letters and talked. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I wasn\u2019t in there; because I was outside, with some buddies, putting together a fire. We put together a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to have fire. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> You\u2019ve got to have fire\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014at all times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Love it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014even for a girl party. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were outside, putting together a fire; and there was\u2014driving to work one day, I heard on the Christian radio station\u2014Kate Battistelli was doing this talk about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExodus 38. I\u2019ve never really paid much attention to Exodus 38, especially this particular verse. In it, it said that the women had to hand over their bronze mirrors to be melted to make the washbasins for the tabernacle. As she unpacks it, that verse more is about the idea of women\u2019s beauty is great; but it can\u2019t come before God\u2014a little bit like we talked about earlier\u2014The Five Capitals. I mean, it\u2019s great to be fit; it\u2019s great to\u2014you know, beauty\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It can\u2019t be their identity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014can\u2019t be their identity either. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> In that, I just <em>loved<\/em> that teaching that I heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, in other settings, I have been a part of ceremonies at different churches\u2014that idea of \u201cburn your ships.\u201d I\u2019ve found breakthrough when I write something down, and I burn it; there feels some freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTaking all those ideas together, what we did is\u2014we went outside to our campfire. Now, we\u2019ve got people round the campfire and Kylie. We give Kylie a blank bronze mirror and a Sharpie. We just told her to write down all of her, basically, image issues: \u201cWhere does she take her identity?\u201d I don\u2019t know what she wrote down; it was\/obviously, it was confidential. I\u2019m sure it had something to do with perfect body, straight A\u2019s, social media likes\u2014different things like that. She writes them down, throws it in the fire, and then we watch them melt. It was awesome\/still awesome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter that takes place, my wife had embroidered those five <em>new<\/em> words onto a bronze mirror; and we gave it to her. We just affirmed in her that her identity is a beloved daughter: \u201cThese are traits that we feel God wanted us to affirm in you. You are <em>not<\/em> these things in the fire.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I just want to say\u2014to have your dad and to have other men, as a young woman, speak into you is an amazing gift; because I\u2019ve seen this done countless times with women. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of myself, back as a young woman: I didn\u2019t even know my dad. I knew that he went to work, and he talked to me some; but I didn\u2019t really know him, and he had no idea who I was. For a dad to speak into a young woman\u2014it\u2019s so important for a mom\u2014but for a dad, and even his friends, that are saying: \u201cThis is where you find value. This is who God says you are. This is what we see in you,\u201d that\u2019s life changing. That\u2019s a marked moment that she will never forget. Well done. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes, thanks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; way to go. Fist bump. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Thanks. A lot goes to my wife as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> I totally agree on the earthly father piece. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> But just\u2014I mean, having Holly involved as well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014I mean, it was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> To have both is remarkable and beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> \u2014because she saw the unity in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is an example of what winning at home first looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And you talk about it in the book; it is weaved through the book. You share your successes like this and your failures along the way, and this is going to help a lot of people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thank you for coming and doing this, talking about this, and thanks for the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cory:<\/strong> Well, thank you very much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to imagine there are a lot of people, who\u2019ve been listening to our conversation this week, who are saying: \u201cThat\u2019s what I need. I need to get my priorities in order, and I need to make sure that I\u2019m focused on the right stuff.\u201d I\u2019d encourage people to get a copy of the book, <em>Win at Home First<\/em>, by Cory Carlson. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can also order by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Cory\u2019s book, again, is called <em>Win at Home First<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have just got a couple of days left before the month of May is over. David Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is here with me. David, the month of May is a significant month for us. We\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to help us take advantage of a matching-gift opportunity that has been made available to us this month. Every donation we are receiving here in the next few days is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $345,000. Honestly, this is a critical time for us, as a ministry; we hope to take full advantage of this matching gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; there has, maybe, never been in the last decade a matching gift that\u2019s been as important for FamilyLife as this one. Actually, two days ago, Dennis Rainey and I were connecting over Zoom and having our regular touchpoint. I was asking him to reflect on times throughout his four decades of leadership at FamilyLife that have been similar to this. He said, \u201cWell, there\u2019s been certainly \u201908, and there has been one or two other seasons; but the unknowns of what comes ahead really\u2014this is a unique one.\u201d He just said, \u201cDavid, I am praying for you; and I\u2019m praying for the whole ministry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCertainly, a founder transition is a <em>big<\/em> thing to navigate; it\u2019s been going so well. Yet, throw a pandemic into that, and this is something challenging for us to walk through. We ask you\u2014we want to continue the legacy of helping families, with everything that we have, pointing them to the gospel and helping them experience the truth and life found in Scripture for their marriage and for their family. If you are able to give, we are a donor-supported ministry in need of your help in this season. If you are able, please give and help us meet this match. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We know, for some of you, this is a very challenging time for your family; and you\u2019ve had to kind of cut back to the bare minimum; we get that. For those of you, who are able, if you can be extra generous to help cover for those who can\u2019t be generous in this season, you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKeep in mind: your donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar. We\u2019re going to send you, as a thank-you gift, Barbara Rainey\u2019s new book, which is called <em>My Heart, Ever His<\/em>, a <em>great<\/em> book on how to pray more effectively during challenging seasons\/challenging times. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, if you are able to join us as a monthly Legacy Partner\u2014and we need more Legacy Partners\/those of you who can give each month to support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014your gift is going to be matched, dollar for dollar, throughout the rest of this year. Every gift you give for the next several months will be matched; <em>and<\/em> we\u2019ll send you, as a thank-you gift, a certificate so you or someone you know can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. We\u2019re going to be back, hosting getaways this fall and next spring; so that certificate will be good whenever you are ready to use it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to give a one-time gift or to become a Legacy Partner and help us take advantage of this matching gift. You can also connect with us by calling 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Thanks, in advance, for your partnership with us; and we look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk about how much more our children can grab onto, and comprehend, and understand from the Bible than most of us realize as parents. We\u2019ve got a great opportunity to pour a lot of biblical truth into their hearts when they are young. Jennifer Lyell will be here to talk with us about that tomorrow. I hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/306048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=306048"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=306048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=306048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=306048"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=306048"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=306048"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=306048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}