{"id":305978,"date":"2020-05-05T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-05-05T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name\/"},"modified":"2020-05-05T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-05-05T11:00:05","slug":"i-will-give-you-a-new-name","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name\/","title":{"rendered":"I Will Give You a New Name"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Esther Fleece Allen recalls the pain of being abandoned by both her father and mother when she was young. She tells how God breathed new life into her broken spirit, and later prepared her for her new name and role as a wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:52","filesize":"27.35M","filesize_raw":"28679296","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2906,2873],"tags":[4030],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3582],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305978","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-christian","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-abandoned","cwp_profile-esther-fleece-allen","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305978\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305978\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"vnKiqEwEVR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name\/\">I Will Give You a New Name<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/i-will-give-you-a-new-name\/embed\/#?secret=vnKiqEwEVR\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;I Will Give You a New Name&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"vnKiqEwEVR\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/mp3.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the Bible, God often changed people\u2019s names after they encountered Him to show that they were different people now that they belonged to Him. Esther Fleece Allen thinks all of us can learn something from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> There is such significance to naming that I thought: \u201cI\u2019m missing something. I missing something in my walk with God, because these labels I\u2019m attaching to are more comfortable to me than living out of who God says I am; and something needs to change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What are the names or the labels that define you, and are those names or labels that God has assigned to you or that others have given you? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Esther Fleece Allen. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, it occurs to me that, probably, the deepest kind of pain\/woundedness that we can experience is family pain\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014marriage\/family connectedness. We can experience pain in any relationship; but when it happens with blood\/with kin, that\u2019s probably the deepest and most profound. If that\u2019s the case, then the deepest work God can do\/the deepest healing God can do is when He steps in and brings beauty from those ashes; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think marriage has that effect; but there is something, too, with kids with parents\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that the pain is so deep; and we don\u2019t generally know how to express it or how to heal from it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, personally, as many know, the greatest pain in my life was from my mom and dad. Yet, the greatest victories and the greatest presence of the very face of God in our lives has been the healing through that pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a friend of yours joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Woo-hoo! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ann, you want to introduce Esther again to our audience? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is Esther Fleece Allen. She\u2019s written two books, and we\u2019re talking about both books. One is <em>No More Faking Fine<\/em>, and the other one is a book called <em>Your New Name<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEsther, welcome. It\u2019s so good to have you with us. I feel like our family is here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I know; thank you. It\u2019s so good to be in the room with you and Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why did you name this one <em>Your New Name<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Well, it was interesting; because I was actually going through a physical name change. I had recently gotten married and was wondering, \u201cDo I keep my old name, Fleece?\u201d As I was writing <em>Your New Name<\/em>, you know, I was realizing God gives us new names in Scripture. Sometimes, it\u2019s hard to let go of old labels\u2014and even good names and good seasons\u2014it\u2019s hard to move forward sometimes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found in Scripture that there is this theme about newness\u2014that God is always doing a new thing\u2014and one of the things that He does is give us a new name. I felt He was giving me a new name, physically, even here on earth in marrying my husband Joel, who comes from a wonderful Christian family. They\u2019ve served God for generations; and it was so neat to take on this new physical name as God was giving me new spiritual names, as well, as I was writing the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Esther, you shared with us already; your dad was besieged with mental illness issues. He was violent in the home; he and your mom divorced; your mom remarried, and then she left you. Did you have any ongoing connection with your stepfather, or did that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> No; no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So at age 13, you\u2019re without a family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and without a part of your identity at that point. What do you do with that, when you\u2019re 13 years old, and you don\u2019t belong to anybody? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I think\u2014yes, I found my home in the Scriptures. It says, \u201cEven if your mother forsakes you, that God will not.\u201d The Lord said in Hebrews 13:5 that \u201cHe will never leave [me] or forsake [me].\u201d By the grace of God, I was introduced to the gospel; and God adopted me into His family and then provided physical families for me to live with, so I didn\u2019t have to go into the foster care system; I wasn\u2019t lost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was very hard not belonging, honestly, Bob. It was hard not even having a last name of one of the families that took me in. For years, I want to be an Ellis, or I wanted to be a Meyerand; I wanted to be an Elam. I wanted to have that association with these different families that provided family to me; but I had to keep going back to: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m an adopted daughter of God, and my identity and my inheritance is in Him. Even if I\u2019m not chosen here by a physical family or a physical husband\u201d\u2014you know, I didn\u2019t get married until later in my 30s\u2014\u201cI [have] to believe that I was chosen, and accepted, and adopted by God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, we know you were sort of faking fine; but there was still a sense of\u2014even\/I think about your wedding day, when you had different dads walk you down the aisle in place of your father\u2014because they really <em>were<\/em> dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> God provided in a unique way His presence through another family, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, even that moment, what did that feel like?\u2014walking down the aisle to your new name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, I never thought I would get married. I believed a lot of labels; some of them were true. I was orphaned\u2014you know?\u2014and I had to lament that. I was a victim, and I need to grieve that; but I think I was not identifying with them for too long. I just didn\u2019t know the new names that God had for me and, maybe, even how to live out of them. For years, I didn\u2019t even want to date because I just thought I was unwanted, and unadoptable, and unworthy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember distinctly when God was taking me on this journey of believing who I really am\u2014because it\u2019s not just enough to like read the Bible\u2014like, we\u2019re really tasked to believe God and to believe the words of God. I felt like the Lord had whispered to me: \u201cYou are going to be a good bride, because you already are a good bride: you\u2019re serving the church; you love the church; you don\u2019t gossip about the church; you don\u2019t slander about the church; you\u2019re not using the church. All of these things that would make a good physical bride, here on earth; you are already a good spiritual bride to Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just this encouragement that God was giving me in my own times with Him. You know, I didn\u2019t go and Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>: \u201cOh, God called me a bride today.\u201d [Laughter] It was just this like reassurance that God saw me as His bride, and He was actually proud to have me as His bride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you said you didn\u2019t know if you\u2019d ever get married, was it because you didn\u2019t know that marriage was an institution that you wanted to be in; or because you saw yourself as damaged goods and didn\u2019t know that anyone would want you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Damaged goods, Bob. That was <em>definitely<\/em> one of the labels I believed for years. I just thought, \u201cIf my own parents didn\u2019t want to stick around for me, what man would really want me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So when a guy met you in your 20s\u2014and thought, \u201cShe\u2019s cute,\u201d and \u201cShe\u2019s nice,\u201d\u2014and he would want to get to know you and, maybe, ask you out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It\u2019s called the friend zone. [Laughter] They got to stay in the friend zone. I have lots of great guy friends to this day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So they stayed in the friend zone because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> They stayed in the friend zone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I mean, I would like to say, \u201cBecause I was, you know, serving the Lord like Paul and felt this call to singleness,\u201d\u2014no; it was just really I had a lot of fear\u2014I had a lot of fear, and I felt like I wanted to protect myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did Joel break down those walls? What happened? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Well, a lot of the breaking happened before I even met Joel\u2014was learning these new names\u2014that God says I\u2019m chosen; God actually says I\u2019m beautiful; He delights over me, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you hear those names, Esther? How did you come to realize them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I would like to say I was spiritually mature enough to hear great sermons and apply them; but sometimes\/but honestly, Ann, it was in these quiet moments with God and just reading the Bible, and realizing I related more when God was like correcting someone in the Old Testament\u2014like, sometimes, He would say, \u201cYou\u2019re a stiff-necked people.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> And I was, at the time, living with one of these spiritual families. I was broken because I felt like my life wasn\u2019t what I thought it should be or where I thought it should be. I was processing my quiet time with this family; and I said, \u201cI\u2019m probably just a stiff-necked person. I\u2019m like the Israelites here.\u201d They said, \u201cWhere are you seeing that? You are living obediently. You love God.\u201d They had to help me see the labels I was living out of and the labels I was believing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s for many of us; we need other people in our circle to say: \u201cWho do you see yourself as?\u201d and \u201cWhat are you hearing?\u201d because, many times, it\u2019s accusations; it\u2019s not the voice of God that we are allowing to speak over us. I needed the help of other believers to really show me who I was in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When we hear these names in our head\u2014and you start your book with this concept: \u201cWhat\u2019s in a name?\u201d\u2014there\u2019s a part of me that thinks, \u201cOh, it\u2019s just\u201d\u2014I hear myself saying\u2014\u201c\u2019unworthy\u2019 or \u2018unwanted\u2019; no big deal\u201d\u2014but you start the book by saying, \u201cWhat\u2019s in a name is <em>very<\/em> important; because those names that you attach to yourself, or allow others to attach to you, can <em>define<\/em> you\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It\u2019s so critical, Dave. Especially after studying it, I\u2019ve seen that. There\u2019s so many things that God does <em>in<\/em> His name and for the glory of <em>His name<\/em>. It\u2019s a commandment to not take His <em>name<\/em> in vain. I mean, God takes <em>naming<\/em> very, very seriously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at Scripture, I realized, \u201cThese labels that I\u2019m attaching to myself, based on relationship, status, or circumstances\u2014like: \u2018Where are those coming from?\u2019 and \u2018Why do I take those on as my identity?\u2019\u201d\u2014come to find out the word, \u201clabel,\u201d in the original language is hardly ever spoken. When you see the word, \u201clabel,\u201d it\u2019s like somebody is calling you something; but yet, if you were to research how many times \u201cname\u201d appears in Scripture, it is woven throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. We\u2019re to do things in the glory for the name of God. We know that our names are written in the Book of Life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is such significance to naming that I thought: \u201cI\u2019m missing something. I\u2019m missing something in my walk with God, because these labels I\u2019m attaching to are more comfortable to me than living out of who God says I am; and something needs to change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So talk about the wrestling between\u2014because, actually, I\u2019m sitting here, looking at two women that I know who have wrestled from the old identity\/the old name\u2014sort of stuck there for decades for both of you; I don\u2019t know if Bob and I are in the same thing\u2014but now, you start to understand a new identity, and a new song, and a new life, and a new creature. I know that isn\u2019t just: \u201cOh, yesterday was this, and today is this.\u201d There is that back and forth\u2014right?\u2014that goes on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you wrestle through that?\u2014because you are pulled back often; and you know it\u2019s not who you are; it\u2019s who you were\u2014but now you have to live in this new name. Talk about that\u2014that struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I love that question, Dave, because there is a tension, you know, about the old and the new. Even as Christians, we\u2019re called to share our testimonies of what God has done. So many times, we do have to remember the old and, then, make a distinction of: \u201cHere is who I am now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the greatest example to me in Scripture is the story of Jacob, who is wrestling with God; and in the middle of Jacob wrestling with God, God says, \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d It was in that moment that God renames Jacob, and He names him Israel. It wasn\u2019t after Jacob cleaned up his life; Jacob didn\u2019t go and restore his relationship with Esau in that moment. I mean, it was right smack dab, in the wrestling with God, God renamed him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gave me such hope\u2014like I might not have all the answers of reconciliation with my biological family; I might not ever be married; but like, right here in the middle of the wrestle, I can ask God for a new name. I can ask: \u201cWhat do You have for me in the future?\u201d and \u201cCan the future be different from the past that I came from?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And what do you do when you find yourself slipping back to the old name\/the old identity\u2014either in your thoughts or in your actions\u2014what do you do?\u2014because that\u2019s not going to go <em>completely<\/em> away, like you never remember. How do you dig out of that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I think, really, the only times I\u2019m seeing in Scripture when God says, \u201cRemember no more\u201d\u2014I used to think that meant: \u201cJust move on. Forget the past; just join another small group,\u201d \u201cGo get another accountability partner.\u201d I just thought it was all action based. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen God is saying, \u201cRemember the past no more,\u201d it\u2019s because the Israelites were <em>blaming<\/em> God. He is saying like: \u201cIn order to move forward, please stop blaming Me and move forward. See that I am doing a new thing in you. See that I\u2019m calling you forth to new things.\u201d It doesn\u2019t mean that\u2014like the time in the desert is erased, or the abuse just goes away, or the marriage is just healed over night\u2014but there comes a point in our walk with God that we stop blaming God. We remember no more, and we say: \u201cGod, help me move forward. I need Your strength to move forward\u201d; and by His Spirit, He helps us to move forward out of these new names. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is not overnight. I think, for many of us, it\u2019s for the rest of our lives we\u2019re going to be wrestling with these new names and these labels. We have to choose to believe God. It says, even in the Book of Daniel, after he survived the fiery furnace, he prays the name of God. He survived that furnace because he believed God, and we have the opportunity to believe God about who He says we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Esther, there is something about marriage\u2014you\u2019ve probably learned this over the years\u2014that even the parts of our past\/our baggage\u2014that we\u2019ve been able to successfully keep closed off and hidden and even, maybe, managed on our own\u2014all of a sudden, in marriage, all of these things come to the surface; they pop out. We\u2019re like: \u201cWhere did that come from?\u201d \u201cWhy did I\u2026?\u201d \u201cWhy am I even acting that way?\u201d How long have you and Joel been married now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Three years, so I\u2019m an expert. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In three years of marriage, have you had some of the old patterns\/old habits\u2014things, where you go, \u201cWhy did I respond to him that way?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014now, you can go, \u201cOh, that\u2019s because of what was built into me when I was five years old.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; you know, early on in our marriage, my first book came out. I was on the road, speaking. I really wanted to be a good wife; so I would put food in the crock pot in the morning, and I would try to be home that evening. There was one instance in particular. He got caught up with work. I flew back into town, and he wasn\u2019t there. Bob, it just triggered this abandonment issue; I was so upset with him, and I didn\u2019t handle it like I should have. I felt like he abandoned me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I mean, we were happily married; we were newlyweds; we were super in love. He just was running late; but he didn\u2019t tell me because he was newly-married. He didn\u2019t know you were supposed to do that. [Laughter] I just\u2014I was so afraid that I was being abandoned in that moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting\u2014marriage was an institution that I ran from for years because it did cause me deep pain, as a child, to see divorce happen, and abuse, and abandonment; but it has been the greatest tool of healing in my life. When he came home, and after we had to work through that\u2014and bring even a counselor in to help me through that\u2014I\u2019m so grateful that that root isn\u2019t there anymore. It was through the love of my husband in loving me through that that I didn\u2019t have to stay <em>stuck<\/em> in that fear of abandonment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We talked about how guys might have been attempting to pursue you, and you kept them in the friend zone. How did Joel break through the friend zone? How did he get you to open up and say, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m open to marriage\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I had resigned from my job. There was a season of life I was living through some pretty severe stalking from my biological father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You share about this in your first book, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I do; truthfully, I didn\u2019t know if my faith was going to survive. I felt\u2014I was like trying to do all the right things to please God, and my circumstances weren\u2019t changing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve always connected to God; I\u2019m a feeler\u2014so I\u2019ve like <em>felt<\/em> His presence\u2014it just wasn\u2019t the same. It was kind of like a dark night of the soul; you\u2019ve heard probably people reference that before. I knew Scripture said to worship God with your heart and soul and mind and strength, so the only thing I knew to do was just to go study Him. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not connecting with Him emotionally, so I\u2019m just going to go study who God is and just stay in the faith\/whatever I can do to just stay in the faith and endure.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself at Oxford University, studying theology; and my classes overlapped with my, now, husband Joel. Joel was actually in class with a spiritual father\u2014one of the four men that walked me down the aisle\u2014who later married us. His name is Jason Elam. Jason had observed Joel for a whole year in this class of theology, and Jason knew not to tell me he had somebody in mind for me. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I went to do a similar program, our classes overlapped. I guess I just\u2014it surprised me\u2014I was more open than I thought; and you know, Joel, within that first week, even asked Jason permission to start dating me. That meant a lot; because I was going through so much trauma with my father, biologically. For this man, Joel, to ask a spiritual father if he could date me, I knew that he was safe; and I knew that he was <em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So listeners understand\u2014it wasn\u2019t so much that he was asking for permission; he was wanting to be careful. He was asking somebody, who knew you better than he knew you, \u201cIs it safe for me to pursue without doing damage?\u201d That\u2019s the care he had for you, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It was really a way of honoring me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I think, sometimes, our culture can\u2014we see this rise of feminism defined in really weird terms that are not pro-women. I mean, the way that Joel pursued me was the most, like pro-woman thing a man could do. He just cared about me, as a person, not about what was in it for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> There was just such intentionality there. I\u2019m glad that I was open. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ll tell you\u2014meeting Joel, and even watching you two at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, he <em>loves<\/em> you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He adores you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He <em>cares<\/em> for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s careful with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He\u2019s got a gentle spirit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to make her cry. I\u2019m\u2014she\u2019s starting to tear up, right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ann and I commented on it, just as we sat with you Friday night and talked. It\u2019s like there\u2019s a cherishing that God\u2019s given you through this man that you missed for many years. That was so beautiful. I mean, we felt like we were looking at the heart of God for you and for everyone. It\u2019s a <em>picture<\/em> of the title of your book: God has a new name, a new future, a new day; there\u2019s a new name that God blesses us with. It\u2019s from the resurrection; it\u2019s new life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; and some of the greatest people we know will never get married, so it\u2019s not that that\u2019s the crown\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> \u2014of achievement; but I am grateful that I was given this gift. I was grateful that I was given this name of bride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the thing about <em>all<\/em> of our new names: whatever those new names are, they\u2019re <em>better<\/em> than we could see for ourselves. They are more beautiful than we could have written for ourselves. That\u2019s the hope for the listener\u2014is that we don\u2019t stay stuck in the brokenness\/we don\u2019t get renamed out of the sin\u2014God has new names and new seasons for every single one of us, and they are more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. I\u2019m so grateful that mine came in the form of Joel, and I\u2019m glad you guys got to see him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and we\u2019re grateful that you have helped all of us understand that we\u2019re supposed to live in how God sees us\u2014and not in our past, and not in even in the self-talk, and not in what the enemy whispers in our ear about who we are\u2014because one of his great tactics is to say: \u201cThis is who you are. I mean, look; this is who you\u2019ve been; this is what you\u2019ve done. Of course, this is who you are.\u201d God says, \u201cI see you differently\u201d; and we should listen to His voice and look at what the Scriptures say is true about us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEsther, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on all of this, and great to meet you; great to have you here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and then, thank you for the books too. Thank you for your new book, <em>Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to Labels that Limit<\/em>, and your first book, <em>No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending<\/em>. We\u2019ve got both of these books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of either or both of the books from Esther Fleece Allen. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. If it\u2019s easier to order by calling, our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask for the books by Esther Fleece Allen when you get in touch with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is in the studio with us today. This has been quite a season for us here; hasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re walking through it just like everyone else; and it is certainly a unique season. I just want to take a moment to thank <em>you<\/em> for all the ways we\u2019ve heard from you during this pandemic. We <em>love<\/em> hearing from you and knowing what you\u2019re walking through because it really helps us adapt to how we\u2019re bringing help and hope in this unique time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe cherish getting to pray specifically for you with the prayer requests you send in, and we are humbled by the way many of you continue to give generously to help us creatively serve families in this time. It\u2019s really been energizing in some ways. Even though there is plenty of pain we are all walking through, it\u2019s been energizing for us, as a team, to help you in what we\u2019re hearing you and your family need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Hopefully, you\u2019ve listened to some of the special <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> episodes, or read or watched some of the resources our team is providing, based on what you\u2019ve shared. Whether it\u2019s helping you grieve and comfort others at a distance, or ways to face a layoff as a family, or dealing with impatience with your kids\u2014because I know I needed to read that resource\u2014[Laughter]\u2014thank you for telling us where you are hurting and what would be helpful. We are here to be a trusted friend and a resource to you and your family during this time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, keep in mind, as you\u2019ve been able to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you have been helping others: your neighbors\/friends. You\u2019ve been making this ministry available for tens of thousands of people every day, accessing our website\/listening to our program. Thank you for partnering with us; and on behalf of those who are benefitting\u2014just like we hope you are\u2014thank you for making this ministry available to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you are a longtime listener, and you\u2019ve not gotten in touch with us to help with a donation, you can do that right now. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. When you make a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>My Heart, Ever His<\/em>, a wonderful new book to help you know how you can pray more effectively in the midst of the challenges of life. That\u2019s our gift to you when you donate today to support the ongoing ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to have a conversation about the value, and importance, and worth of women. Eric Schumacher and Elyse Fitzpatrick join us to talk about how we can elevate the role of women in our homes, in our churches, in our culture today. I hope you tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:52"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.35M"],"filesize_raw":["28679296"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305978.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305978.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Fleece Allen recalls the pain of being abandoned by both her father and mother when she was young. She tells how God breathed new life into her broken spirit, and later prepared her for her new name and role as a wife.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/fl2020-05-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the Bible, God often changed people\u2019s names after they encountered Him to show that they were different people now that they belonged to Him. Esther Fleece Allen thinks all of us can learn something from that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> There is such significance to naming that I thought: \u201cI\u2019m missing something. I missing something in my walk with God, because these labels I\u2019m attaching to are more comfortable to me than living out of who God says I am; and something needs to change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, May 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What are the names or the labels that define you, and are those names or labels that God has assigned to you or that others have given you? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Esther Fleece Allen. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, it occurs to me that, probably, the deepest kind of pain\/woundedness that we can experience is family pain\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014marriage\/family connectedness. We can experience pain in any relationship; but when it happens with blood\/with kin, that\u2019s probably the deepest and most profound. If that\u2019s the case, then the deepest work God can do\/the deepest healing God can do is when He steps in and brings beauty from those ashes; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think marriage has that effect; but there is something, too, with kids with parents\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that the pain is so deep; and we don\u2019t generally know how to express it or how to heal from it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, personally, as many know, the greatest pain in my life was from my mom and dad. Yet, the greatest victories and the greatest presence of the very face of God in our lives has been the healing through that pain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a friend of yours joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Woo-hoo! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ann, you want to introduce Esther again to our audience? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is Esther Fleece Allen. She\u2019s written two books, and we\u2019re talking about both books. One is <em>No More Faking Fine<\/em>, and the other one is a book called <em>Your New Name<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEsther, welcome. It\u2019s so good to have you with us. I feel like our family is here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I know; thank you. It\u2019s so good to be in the room with you and Dave. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why did you name this one <em>Your New Name<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Well, it was interesting; because I was actually going through a physical name change. I had recently gotten married and was wondering, \u201cDo I keep my old name, Fleece?\u201d As I was writing <em>Your New Name<\/em>, you know, I was realizing God gives us new names in Scripture. Sometimes, it\u2019s hard to let go of old labels\u2014and even good names and good seasons\u2014it\u2019s hard to move forward sometimes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found in Scripture that there is this theme about newness\u2014that God is always doing a new thing\u2014and one of the things that He does is give us a new name. I felt He was giving me a new name, physically, even here on earth in marrying my husband Joel, who comes from a wonderful Christian family. They\u2019ve served God for generations; and it was so neat to take on this new physical name as God was giving me new spiritual names, as well, as I was writing the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Esther, you shared with us already; your dad was besieged with mental illness issues. He was violent in the home; he and your mom divorced; your mom remarried, and then she left you. Did you have any ongoing connection with your stepfather, or did that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> No; no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So at age 13, you\u2019re without a family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and without a part of your identity at that point. What do you do with that, when you\u2019re 13 years old, and you don\u2019t belong to anybody? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I think\u2014yes, I found my home in the Scriptures. It says, \u201cEven if your mother forsakes you, that God will not.\u201d The Lord said in Hebrews 13:5 that \u201cHe will never leave [me] or forsake [me].\u201d By the grace of God, I was introduced to the gospel; and God adopted me into His family and then provided physical families for me to live with, so I didn\u2019t have to go into the foster care system; I wasn\u2019t lost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was very hard not belonging, honestly, Bob. It was hard not even having a last name of one of the families that took me in. For years, I want to be an Ellis, or I wanted to be a Meyerand; I wanted to be an Elam. I wanted to have that association with these different families that provided family to me; but I had to keep going back to: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m an adopted daughter of God, and my identity and my inheritance is in Him. Even if I\u2019m not chosen here by a physical family or a physical husband\u201d\u2014you know, I didn\u2019t get married until later in my 30s\u2014\u201cI [have] to believe that I was chosen, and accepted, and adopted by God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, we know you were sort of faking fine; but there was still a sense of\u2014even\/I think about your wedding day, when you had different dads walk you down the aisle in place of your father\u2014because they really <em>were<\/em> dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> God provided in a unique way His presence through another family, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, even that moment, what did that feel like?\u2014walking down the aisle to your new name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, I never thought I would get married. I believed a lot of labels; some of them were true. I was orphaned\u2014you know?\u2014and I had to lament that. I was a victim, and I need to grieve that; but I think I was not identifying with them for too long. I just didn\u2019t know the new names that God had for me and, maybe, even how to live out of them. For years, I didn\u2019t even want to date because I just thought I was unwanted, and unadoptable, and unworthy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember distinctly when God was taking me on this journey of believing who I really am\u2014because it\u2019s not just enough to like read the Bible\u2014like, we\u2019re really tasked to believe God and to believe the words of God. I felt like the Lord had whispered to me: \u201cYou are going to be a good bride, because you already are a good bride: you\u2019re serving the church; you love the church; you don\u2019t gossip about the church; you don\u2019t slander about the church; you\u2019re not using the church. All of these things that would make a good physical bride, here on earth; you are already a good spiritual bride to Me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was just this encouragement that God was giving me in my own times with Him. You know, I didn\u2019t go and Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>: \u201cOh, God called me a bride today.\u201d [Laughter] It was just this like reassurance that God saw me as His bride, and He was actually proud to have me as His bride. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you said you didn\u2019t know if you\u2019d ever get married, was it because you didn\u2019t know that marriage was an institution that you wanted to be in; or because you saw yourself as damaged goods and didn\u2019t know that anyone would want you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Damaged goods, Bob. That was <em>definitely<\/em> one of the labels I believed for years. I just thought, \u201cIf my own parents didn\u2019t want to stick around for me, what man would really want me?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So when a guy met you in your 20s\u2014and thought, \u201cShe\u2019s cute,\u201d and \u201cShe\u2019s nice,\u201d\u2014and he would want to get to know you and, maybe, ask you out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It\u2019s called the friend zone. [Laughter] They got to stay in the friend zone. I have lots of great guy friends to this day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So they stayed in the friend zone because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> They stayed in the friend zone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I mean, I would like to say, \u201cBecause I was, you know, serving the Lord like Paul and felt this call to singleness,\u201d\u2014no; it was just really I had a lot of fear\u2014I had a lot of fear, and I felt like I wanted to protect myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did Joel break down those walls? What happened? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Well, a lot of the breaking happened before I even met Joel\u2014was learning these new names\u2014that God says I\u2019m chosen; God actually says I\u2019m beautiful; He delights over me, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you hear those names, Esther? How did you come to realize them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I would like to say I was spiritually mature enough to hear great sermons and apply them; but sometimes\/but honestly, Ann, it was in these quiet moments with God and just reading the Bible, and realizing I related more when God was like correcting someone in the Old Testament\u2014like, sometimes, He would say, \u201cYou\u2019re a stiff-necked people.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> And I was, at the time, living with one of these spiritual families. I was broken because I felt like my life wasn\u2019t what I thought it should be or where I thought it should be. I was processing my quiet time with this family; and I said, \u201cI\u2019m probably just a stiff-necked person. I\u2019m like the Israelites here.\u201d They said, \u201cWhere are you seeing that? You are living obediently. You love God.\u201d They had to help me see the labels I was living out of and the labels I was believing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s for many of us; we need other people in our circle to say: \u201cWho do you see yourself as?\u201d and \u201cWhat are you hearing?\u201d because, many times, it\u2019s accusations; it\u2019s not the voice of God that we are allowing to speak over us. I needed the help of other believers to really show me who I was in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> When we hear these names in our head\u2014and you start your book with this concept: \u201cWhat\u2019s in a name?\u201d\u2014there\u2019s a part of me that thinks, \u201cOh, it\u2019s just\u201d\u2014I hear myself saying\u2014\u201c\u2019unworthy\u2019 or \u2018unwanted\u2019; no big deal\u201d\u2014but you start the book by saying, \u201cWhat\u2019s in a name is <em>very<\/em> important; because those names that you attach to yourself, or allow others to attach to you, can <em>define<\/em> you\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It\u2019s so critical, Dave. Especially after studying it, I\u2019ve seen that. There\u2019s so many things that God does <em>in<\/em> His name and for the glory of <em>His name<\/em>. It\u2019s a commandment to not take His <em>name<\/em> in vain. I mean, God takes <em>naming<\/em> very, very seriously. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I looked at Scripture, I realized, \u201cThese labels that I\u2019m attaching to myself, based on relationship, status, or circumstances\u2014like: \u2018Where are those coming from?\u2019 and \u2018Why do I take those on as my identity?\u2019\u201d\u2014come to find out the word, \u201clabel,\u201d in the original language is hardly ever spoken. When you see the word, \u201clabel,\u201d it\u2019s like somebody is calling you something; but yet, if you were to research how many times \u201cname\u201d appears in Scripture, it is woven throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. We\u2019re to do things in the glory for the name of God. We know that our names are written in the Book of Life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is such significance to naming that I thought: \u201cI\u2019m missing something. I\u2019m missing something in my walk with God, because these labels I\u2019m attaching to are more comfortable to me than living out of who God says I am; and something needs to change.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So talk about the wrestling between\u2014because, actually, I\u2019m sitting here, looking at two women that I know who have wrestled from the old identity\/the old name\u2014sort of stuck there for decades for both of you; I don\u2019t know if Bob and I are in the same thing\u2014but now, you start to understand a new identity, and a new song, and a new life, and a new creature. I know that isn\u2019t just: \u201cOh, yesterday was this, and today is this.\u201d There is that back and forth\u2014right?\u2014that goes on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you wrestle through that?\u2014because you are pulled back often; and you know it\u2019s not who you are; it\u2019s who you were\u2014but now you have to live in this new name. Talk about that\u2014that struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I love that question, Dave, because there is a tension, you know, about the old and the new. Even as Christians, we\u2019re called to share our testimonies of what God has done. So many times, we do have to remember the old and, then, make a distinction of: \u201cHere is who I am now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the greatest example to me in Scripture is the story of Jacob, who is wrestling with God; and in the middle of Jacob wrestling with God, God says, \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d It was in that moment that God renames Jacob, and He names him Israel. It wasn\u2019t after Jacob cleaned up his life; Jacob didn\u2019t go and restore his relationship with Esau in that moment. I mean, it was right smack dab, in the wrestling with God, God renamed him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gave me such hope\u2014like I might not have all the answers of reconciliation with my biological family; I might not ever be married; but like, right here in the middle of the wrestle, I can ask God for a new name. I can ask: \u201cWhat do You have for me in the future?\u201d and \u201cCan the future be different from the past that I came from?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And what do you do when you find yourself slipping back to the old name\/the old identity\u2014either in your thoughts or in your actions\u2014what do you do?\u2014because that\u2019s not going to go <em>completely<\/em> away, like you never remember. How do you dig out of that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I think, really, the only times I\u2019m seeing in Scripture when God says, \u201cRemember no more\u201d\u2014I used to think that meant: \u201cJust move on. Forget the past; just join another small group,\u201d \u201cGo get another accountability partner.\u201d I just thought it was all action based. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen God is saying, \u201cRemember the past no more,\u201d it\u2019s because the Israelites were <em>blaming<\/em> God. He is saying like: \u201cIn order to move forward, please stop blaming Me and move forward. See that I am doing a new thing in you. See that I\u2019m calling you forth to new things.\u201d It doesn\u2019t mean that\u2014like the time in the desert is erased, or the abuse just goes away, or the marriage is just healed over night\u2014but there comes a point in our walk with God that we stop blaming God. We remember no more, and we say: \u201cGod, help me move forward. I need Your strength to move forward\u201d; and by His Spirit, He helps us to move forward out of these new names. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is not overnight. I think, for many of us, it\u2019s for the rest of our lives we\u2019re going to be wrestling with these new names and these labels. We have to choose to believe God. It says, even in the Book of Daniel, after he survived the fiery furnace, he prays the name of God. He survived that furnace because he believed God, and we have the opportunity to believe God about who He says we are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Esther, there is something about marriage\u2014you\u2019ve probably learned this over the years\u2014that even the parts of our past\/our baggage\u2014that we\u2019ve been able to successfully keep closed off and hidden and even, maybe, managed on our own\u2014all of a sudden, in marriage, all of these things come to the surface; they pop out. We\u2019re like: \u201cWhere did that come from?\u201d \u201cWhy did I\u2026?\u201d \u201cWhy am I even acting that way?\u201d How long have you and Joel been married now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Three years, so I\u2019m an expert. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In three years of marriage, have you had some of the old patterns\/old habits\u2014things, where you go, \u201cWhy did I respond to him that way?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014now, you can go, \u201cOh, that\u2019s because of what was built into me when I was five years old.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; you know, early on in our marriage, my first book came out. I was on the road, speaking. I really wanted to be a good wife; so I would put food in the crock pot in the morning, and I would try to be home that evening. There was one instance in particular. He got caught up with work. I flew back into town, and he wasn\u2019t there. Bob, it just triggered this abandonment issue; I was so upset with him, and I didn\u2019t handle it like I should have. I felt like he abandoned me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, I mean, we were happily married; we were newlyweds; we were super in love. He just was running late; but he didn\u2019t tell me because he was newly-married. He didn\u2019t know you were supposed to do that. [Laughter] I just\u2014I was so afraid that I was being abandoned in that moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting\u2014marriage was an institution that I ran from for years because it did cause me deep pain, as a child, to see divorce happen, and abuse, and abandonment; but it has been the greatest tool of healing in my life. When he came home, and after we had to work through that\u2014and bring even a counselor in to help me through that\u2014I\u2019m so grateful that that root isn\u2019t there anymore. It was through the love of my husband in loving me through that that I didn\u2019t have to stay <em>stuck<\/em> in that fear of abandonment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We talked about how guys might have been attempting to pursue you, and you kept them in the friend zone. How did Joel break through the friend zone? How did he get you to open up and say, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m open to marriage\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I had resigned from my job. There was a season of life I was living through some pretty severe stalking from my biological father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You share about this in your first book, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> I do; truthfully, I didn\u2019t know if my faith was going to survive. I felt\u2014I was like trying to do all the right things to please God, and my circumstances weren\u2019t changing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve always connected to God; I\u2019m a feeler\u2014so I\u2019ve like <em>felt<\/em> His presence\u2014it just wasn\u2019t the same. It was kind of like a dark night of the soul; you\u2019ve heard probably people reference that before. I knew Scripture said to worship God with your heart and soul and mind and strength, so the only thing I knew to do was just to go study Him. I thought, \u201cI\u2019m not connecting with Him emotionally, so I\u2019m just going to go study who God is and just stay in the faith\/whatever I can do to just stay in the faith and endure.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found myself at Oxford University, studying theology; and my classes overlapped with my, now, husband Joel. Joel was actually in class with a spiritual father\u2014one of the four men that walked me down the aisle\u2014who later married us. His name is Jason Elam. Jason had observed Joel for a whole year in this class of theology, and Jason knew not to tell me he had somebody in mind for me. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I went to do a similar program, our classes overlapped. I guess I just\u2014it surprised me\u2014I was more open than I thought; and you know, Joel, within that first week, even asked Jason permission to start dating me. That meant a lot; because I was going through so much trauma with my father, biologically. For this man, Joel, to ask a spiritual father if he could date me, I knew that he was safe; and I knew that he was <em>different<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So listeners understand\u2014it wasn\u2019t so much that he was asking for permission; he was wanting to be careful. He was asking somebody, who knew you better than he knew you, \u201cIs it safe for me to pursue without doing damage?\u201d That\u2019s the care he had for you, right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> It was really a way of honoring me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; I think, sometimes, our culture can\u2014we see this rise of feminism defined in really weird terms that are not pro-women. I mean, the way that Joel pursued me was the most, like pro-woman thing a man could do. He just cared about me, as a person, not about what was in it for him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> There was just such intentionality there. I\u2019m glad that I was open. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ll tell you\u2014meeting Joel, and even watching you two at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, he <em>loves<\/em> you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He adores you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He <em>cares<\/em> for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s careful with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> He\u2019s got a gentle spirit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to make her cry. I\u2019m\u2014she\u2019s starting to tear up, right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Ann and I commented on it, just as we sat with you Friday night and talked. It\u2019s like there\u2019s a cherishing that God\u2019s given you through this man that you missed for many years. That was so beautiful. I mean, we felt like we were looking at the heart of God for you and for everyone. It\u2019s a <em>picture<\/em> of the title of your book: God has a new name, a new future, a new day; there\u2019s a new name that God blesses us with. It\u2019s from the resurrection; it\u2019s new life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Yes; and some of the greatest people we know will never get married, so it\u2019s not that that\u2019s the crown\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> \u2014of achievement; but I am grateful that I was given this gift. I was grateful that I was given this name of bride.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the thing about <em>all<\/em> of our new names: whatever those new names are, they\u2019re <em>better<\/em> than we could see for ourselves. They are more beautiful than we could have written for ourselves. That\u2019s the hope for the listener\u2014is that we don\u2019t stay stuck in the brokenness\/we don\u2019t get renamed out of the sin\u2014God has new names and new seasons for every single one of us, and they are more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. I\u2019m so grateful that mine came in the form of Joel, and I\u2019m glad you guys got to see him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and we\u2019re grateful that you have helped all of us understand that we\u2019re supposed to live in how God sees us\u2014and not in our past, and not in even in the self-talk, and not in what the enemy whispers in our ear about who we are\u2014because one of his great tactics is to say: \u201cThis is who you are. I mean, look; this is who you\u2019ve been; this is what you\u2019ve done. Of course, this is who you are.\u201d God says, \u201cI see you differently\u201d; and we should listen to His voice and look at what the Scriptures say is true about us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEsther, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on all of this, and great to meet you; great to have you here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Esther:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; and then, thank you for the books too. Thank you for your new book, <em>Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to Labels that Limit<\/em>, and your first book, <em>No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending<\/em>. We\u2019ve got both of these books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of either or both of the books from Esther Fleece Allen. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. If it\u2019s easier to order by calling, our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask for the books by Esther Fleece Allen when you get in touch with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is in the studio with us today. This has been quite a season for us here; hasn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re walking through it just like everyone else; and it is certainly a unique season. I just want to take a moment to thank <em>you<\/em> for all the ways we\u2019ve heard from you during this pandemic. We <em>love<\/em> hearing from you and knowing what you\u2019re walking through because it really helps us adapt to how we\u2019re bringing help and hope in this unique time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe cherish getting to pray specifically for you with the prayer requests you send in, and we are humbled by the way many of you continue to give generously to help us creatively serve families in this time. It\u2019s really been energizing in some ways. Even though there is plenty of pain we are all walking through, it\u2019s been energizing for us, as a team, to help you in what we\u2019re hearing you and your family need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Hopefully, you\u2019ve listened to some of the special <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> episodes, or read or watched some of the resources our team is providing, based on what you\u2019ve shared. Whether it\u2019s helping you grieve and comfort others at a distance, or ways to face a layoff as a family, or dealing with impatience with your kids\u2014because I know I needed to read that resource\u2014[Laughter]\u2014thank you for telling us where you are hurting and what would be helpful. We are here to be a trusted friend and a resource to you and your family during this time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, keep in mind, as you\u2019ve been able to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you have been helping others: your neighbors\/friends. You\u2019ve been making this ministry available for tens of thousands of people every day, accessing our website\/listening to our program. Thank you for partnering with us; and on behalf of those who are benefitting\u2014just like we hope you are\u2014thank you for making this ministry available to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you are a longtime listener, and you\u2019ve not gotten in touch with us to help with a donation, you can do that right now. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. When you make a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>My Heart, Ever His<\/em>, a wonderful new book to help you know how you can pray more effectively in the midst of the challenges of life. That\u2019s our gift to you when you donate today to support the ongoing ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to have a conversation about the value, and importance, and worth of women. Eric Schumacher and Elyse Fitzpatrick join us to talk about how we can elevate the role of women in our homes, in our churches, in our culture today. I hope you tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305978"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305978"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305978"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305978"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}