{"id":305885,"date":"2020-03-28T07:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-03-28T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/walking-past-the-trial\/"},"modified":"2020-03-28T07:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-03-28T11:00:05","slug":"walking-past-the-trial","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/walking-past-the-trial\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking Past the Trial"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you&#8217;re faced with a life-threatening illness, how does it affect your walk with God? Sarah Shreve Lindsey talkz about a number of health concerns that challenged her faith in God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-03-28.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883041","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2847,2822],"tags":[6854],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9607],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-305885","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-death-and-dying","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-illness","cwp_profile-sarah-shreve-lindsey","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305885\/walking-past-the-trial","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305885\/walking-past-the-trial","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"YxdYoOtGmJ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/walking-past-the-trial\/\">Walking Past the Trial<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/walking-past-the-trial\/embed\/#?secret=YxdYoOtGmJ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Walking Past the Trial&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"YxdYoOtGmJ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-03-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-03-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sarah Schreve Lindsey, at 22, was ambitious and talented. The world was her oyster, until it all came to a screeching halt. Here\u2019s Sarah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Before I was diagnosed, I was super-athletic. I was always going and doing stuff; so maybe my shoulder would hurt, and I wouldn\u2019t think twice about it: \u201cOh, I lifted too heavy.\u201d But now, if I wake up and I\u2019m really tired one day, I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, no; this is how it started last time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy worst fear is: \u201cAm I going to have to have surgery again, that\u2019s way more intense than it was last time?\u201d If you haven\u2019t had surgery before, you\u2019re scared about the unknown; but if you have to have surgery again, you\u2019re scared about the <em>known<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> God took Sarah Schreve Lindsey on a unique path that included pain\/lots of pain\u2014and required a lot of patience\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. Last week, we talked about worry and anxiety, especially the kind that you parents get when you\u2019re trying to raise your child to face the world, whether it be in kindergarten or in high school. We have that program on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that program, we heard from Jeff and Debbie Schreve about the real root of worry: well, that\u2019s not trusting God. Jeff told us that once we understand that everything in our life belongs to God\u2014you know, your spouse, your kids, your job, your 401K\u2014everything! God\u2019s the one who lets us enjoy those things, and it\u2019s His responsibility to take care of them; not ours. That\u2019s a great reminder, but how many times do we really live that out?\u2014truly live that out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, a couple of years after Jeff and Debbie\u2019s conversation with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine, they came face to face with the challenge of living out this idea of really trusting God. Their youngest daughter, Sarah, developed a life-threatening condition in her brain called Arnold Chiari. Left untreated, it could have <em>killed<\/em> her. Suddenly, the whole family\u2014Jeff, Debbie, and Sarah\u2014were facing the <em>unthinkable<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It was a day after Christmas that everything changed in our household. My daughter woke up, and she knew something was different; she knew something was not right within her. It set us on a course of rock bottom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Like he said, I went to bed, Christmas night, feeling fine. I woke up the next morning; and instantly knew something was wrong. I remember I went out to lunch with my family, and I told them: \u201cSomething is wrong. I feel weird.\u201d My right hand started trembling, so we went to the ER. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was the most concerned. My family\u2014and other people, too\u2014thought it was just an abnormal reaction to medications that I was taking. I remember, I kept telling them, \u201cNo, like something is seriously, seriously wrong with me.\u201d I remember one day so clearly; my friend was staying with me\u2014Allie. I told her I was going to go to the bathroom. She came in my room, and I was just sobbing on the floor; because I was like: \u201cAllie, something is seriously wrong with me. I feel like people don\u2019t believe me. I wouldn\u2019t make this up, but something is very wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re now four years out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Wow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Listening to that probably brought memories back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What are you feeling right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> The further out you get from something, you forget how scared you were in the process. You forget how, every step of the way, you didn\u2019t know what was going to follow; you didn\u2019t have that security. Just listening to that, and hearing what all I said, I can just hear the fear in my voice; you can hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just didn\u2019t know what I was going to do; I didn\u2019t know what it looked like. You can still trust God that your future is going to be great, but that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not scared for what that means exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I had to learn that it\u2019s okay to be scared. You can still follow what God tells you to, but you can still be scared. That\u2019s a normal reaction\u2014to be scared of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What did you do with those feelings of being scared?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I had to learn to voice them, you know? I grew up in a really Christian home, and I\u2019m super thankful for that; but I remember thinking: \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019m a Christian. I shouldn\u2019t be scared. I should just know to trust God. This should come, second nature to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that, in order to have a good relationship with somebody, you have to communicate what you\u2019re feeling. I had to learn\u2014whatever I was feeling, I would tell God\u2014like: \u201cHey, I\u2019m really scared today. I know I talked to You about this two minutes ago, and I\u2019m having another freak out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just had to constantly talk to Him; because the more you talk to Him, it helps avert your eyes to what\u2019s true, and what\u2019s important, and what\u2019s valid; because, I know, at least, with me, I\u2019ll have two percent of truth in a worry; and my mind will just go down the rabbit holes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, yes! There\u2019s: \u201cWhat if this?\u201d and \u201c\u2026then this?\u201d and \u201c\u2026then this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then you start thinking of worst-case scenarios. I realized the more that I voiced, \"Hey, I\u2019m scared,\u201d that I wouldn\u2019t allow myself to get super far down a rabbit hole; because immediately, when I would voice it, God would say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay; it\u2019s okay.\u201d I would kind of be brought back to: \u201cWhat I\u2019m fearful of right now is not what\u2019s true. It\u2019s not what\u2019s in front of me; I\u2019m scared of six months from now, and a year from now,\u201d which are normal concerns; but that doesn\u2019t need to overwhelm your day by day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So right after surgery, did you have to go through\u2014I\u2019m thinking of physical therapy\u2014or anything like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I should have. I was actually a really bad patient, probably because I\u2019m in healthcare. I was like: \u201cOh, I know what I\u2019m doing! I\u2019ll just do whatever.\u201d [Laughter] I went to physical therapy a couple of times; but it was more so just, \u201cHey, move your neck from side to side.\u201d I remember telling my parents, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go back for them to tell me to move it; I can do it myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn to pace myself. That was probably the hardest part; because I would feel okay\u2014and then I would do something: I would move my neck too quickly, or I would stand up to quickly\u2014you would feel like, \u201cI\u2019m probably going to pay for this for the next 24 hours.\u201d So I would just be really sluggish, and I would get nauseous. I had to have a lot of calming moments, where I would realize, \u201cHey, I can\u2019t do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> And a lot of it was my mom, being like: \u201cSarah, you can\u2019t do that. [Laughter] You need to sit down. You need to stop being like this.\u201d So, kudos to Debbie Schreve on that, for bringing me back in. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So what does life look like for you <em>now<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy; life now: I graduated from PA [Physician\u2019s Assistant] school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you <em>got into<\/em> PA school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I got in! I got in. That was an adventure, in and of itself; but I got in. I\u2019m married to my best friend, which I would not have met him had I not gotten into this PA school at this time; I would have never met my husband. I have my dream job; I\u2019m working in interventional radiology, which utilizes ultrasound, which is what I did prior to getting into PA school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m healthy; I\u2019m active. I get to work out and do what I love. I just have to be mindful of not overdoing things; but other than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> In the last four years, have there been any times, where you have sat there and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got this weird muscle twitch\u201d?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cI have some sort of weird pain going on. Is it all going to come back to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I mean, have you felt that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, so my mom verbalized it to me best\u2014she said, \u201cOnce your body betrays you once, you freak out about any little issue.\u201d Because before I was diagnosed, I was super-athletic. I was always going and doing stuff; so maybe my shoulder would hurt, and I wouldn\u2019t think twice about it: \u201cOh, I lifted too heavy.\u201d But now, if I wake up and I\u2019m really tired one day, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, no; this is how it started last time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy worst fear is, \u201cAm I going to have to have surgery again, that\u2019s way more intense than it was last time?\u201d If you haven\u2019t had surgery before, you\u2019re scared about the unknown; but if you have to have surgery again, you\u2019re scared about the <em>known<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> The surgery itself doesn\u2019t scare me; but going back to when I had those two stroke-like episodes, that was just a horrible, horrible time. There are so many times, where I will tell my husband, \u201cHey, I think I\u2019m having\u2014like I think something\u2019s going on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s sad is\u2014a lot of my same symptoms also mirror when I have anxiety. It\u2019s like: \u201cDo I have anxiety because I have anxiety?\u201d or \u201cDo I have anxiety because I actually have a symptom?\u201d and you know, go down the rabbit hole again. A lot of times, I just have to bring myself back to: \u201cOkay, we\u2019re just going to relax for a couple of minutes. If it goes away, it\u2019s not anything serious. If it kind of remains, we\u2019re going to get it checked.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to go through, probably, more check-ups than the average person, just because I needed that reassurance from an MRI scan that said: \u201cHey, you\u2019re okay. Your stuff looks fine. Your flow in your cerebrospinal fluid is fine. You\u2019re okay. We don\u2019t know what\u2019s causing this; it might just be stress\u201d \u2014which is like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m glad I could pay a thousand dollars for someone to tell me I\u2019m stressed out!\u201d [Laughter] But it\u2019s worth it in the long run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>There\u2019s comfort in that\u2014knowing what it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, have you struggled in your relationship with God, at all, during these last four years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Not necessarily in the last four years. I learned a lot\/I learned a lot through recovery; because my diagnosis happened so, so fast. I mean, I had my first symptom, and then I had surgery within a month; so there wasn\u2019t a whole lot of time to process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I did a lot of my processing, post-surgery. I would say those three months of recovery was when I had a harder time with my relationship with God; because I was just like: \u201cWhat are we doing? I don\u2019t understand the plan.\u201d I don\u2019t understand the plan, because I have a tendency to think, \u201cThis is how Sarah\u2019s life should work out.\u201d I think that if I verbalize it enough, God will be like: \u201cYes, okay! That works,\u201d\u2014like He\u2019s just in the passenger seat, saying, \u201cYes, we can go here; that\u2019s fine.\u201d I try to <em>will <\/em>it into existence; and then with my diagnosis and surgery, I was just told a hard, \u201cNo,\u201d on <em>everything<\/em> that I had really, really worked towards\u2014was just: \u201cNo, no.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that time, I didn\u2019t know if it was a \u201cNo,\u201d forever or a \u201cNot right now. In the future, but not right now.\u201d I had <em>no idea<\/em> how to distinguish that. It took me a while to learn, \u201cThis might not be a \u2018No\u2019; it might just be a \u2018Not now,\u2019 and I need to be okay with that.\u201d Because there are so many times that I remember I would tell myself: \u201cI need answers! I need answers!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> And then I would reflect and be like, \u201cI don\u2019t <em>need <\/em>them; I <em>want<\/em> them; because if I needed it, God would give me that, because He provides us with our needs.\u201d You know, He meets us where we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So if I prayed about something, and didn\u2019t get an answer, I had to really learn: \u201cIt\u2019s because He doesn\u2019t want me to know the answer yet,\u201d or \u201cThere\u2019s a reason.\u201d I had to learn that, how I respond in anger, is primarily because I\u2019m scared. When I was like: \u201cI\u2019m mad at God; I\u2019m mad at God!\u201d\u2014it was more so like\u2014\u201cHey, God, I don\u2019t understand what You\u2019re doing, and that frustrates me. It makes me scared, because I realize that I\u2019m not in control of anything.\u201d That part was really, really hard for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it sounds like you really had to find out who Sarah is through this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Oh, yes; because in the process, I lost everything that I found my value in as me\/as Sarah. I was always working out or doing something athletic; I could no longer do that. I was always out with friends, and hanging out with friends, and doing things; and I couldn\u2019t leave the house. I found, you know, my security in my job, both financially and emotionally. I felt very rewarded for doing a good job, and I could no longer work. And then, intellectually, I got rejected from PA school; so I didn\u2019t know what the future was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Everything<\/em> that I found my security in was taken away from me. I remember thinking: \u201cThat\u2019s a <em>mean<\/em> God that would do that; that\u2019s a mean\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWho would ever want to follow and dedicate their life to someone that would take everything away from them?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I really realized, in the past year, after graduating PA school and kind of looking back, retrospectively, and saying: \u201cOh, wow! Look how much God has provided for me! I\u2019m married; I graduated PA school,\u201d\u2014all this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realize that my inner Sarah is very loud. You know, when I want something, I\u2019m screaming at the top of my lungs. I remember constantly thinking, \u201cI can\u2019t hear God\u2019s voice.\u201d It\u2019s because I couldn\u2019t hear it over Sarah screaming, because God\u2019s voice to me is a whisper; He purposely whispers so that you take the time to hear what He\u2019s saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time He took something away from me, He was making it more quiet for me to be able to hear Him. I finally realized, once everything was quiet, that was the closest I had ever felt to God; because it was just me and Him there. There weren\u2019t distractions; there was fear, but there wasn\u2019t any life distractions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs much as I would never want to [go through recovery] again, that time where I felt close to Him was something that I\u2019ll treasure for the rest of my life; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How would you describe God\u2019s character <em>now<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> He if faithful. He is faithful, and He is patient; because you know, you go through a time that\u2019s hard, and you are like, \u201cGod is faithful.\u201d Then you go through a different situation, and it\u2019s almost like you have amnesia. [Laughter] You forget, all over again, how God is faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So He\u2019s just very patient, because it doesn\u2019t matter how long it takes me to get back on track with my thinking. Or you know, how I pray and have a tendency to want to control things; so learning to release control\u2014He\u2019s just such a patient God. And He\u2019s so faithful; He\u2019s so faithful. And His plan is just sovereign. It is exactly\u2014I don\u2019t even want to say it\u2019s exactly what I thought\u2014because it\u2019s way more abundant than what I could have ever imagined. But in order to get to abundance, you have to go through a hard period; you don\u2019t just get it; you know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Every time I thought, \u201cOh, this is a hard \u2018No,\u201d it was really just a pause. It was like, \u201cHey, we\u2019re catapulting you to something greater; but right now, you need to be still; because we need to get ready for that.\u201d I just took it as: \u201cWe\u2019re no longer moving. What\u2019s going on? Where are we going? What are we doing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, I learned that He is so faithful and that He loves me; He wants the best for me. He doesn\u2019t do anything out of spite or \u201cWell, Sarah thought her life was going to end up like this. Let\u2019s freak her out; let\u2019s do this\u201d; you know? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had those thoughts too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes! And people, who are like, \u201cI\u2019ve never thought that,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like you have; you just haven\u2019t voiced it\u2014because that is a normal human thought, to be like: \u201cWhat are we doing? Why is life going like this?\u201d And if you\u2019ve never had that thought, I\u2019m very jealous; because I think those things all the time! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just learned to relax in the fact that God has it. That doesn\u2019t mean that my need for control, or my desire for control, is going to magically disappear just because I know that God is sovereign; but it has made me relax. When I notice that I\u2019m getting kind of controllish\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014I can be like: \u201cOh, hey! He has it. I need to just simmer. I need to simmer, and just sit and relax.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sit, and relax, and realize that God\u2019s got it. Those are easy words to throw out; those are <em>hard<\/em> words to live\u2014<em>very<\/em> hard words to live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, we need to take a quick break; but on the other side of that break, if you are someone who\u2019s walking through a hard journey right now, Sarah has some advice for you; so stick around. I\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. This week, I am talking with Sarah Schreve Lindsey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Sarah, I was telling a friend this morning, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m so anxiety-driven over this issue that I\u2019m walking through.\u201d She sent me back the verse, \u201cWhatever is lovely, whatever is noble, whatever is right\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthink on these things.\u201d She was like: \u201cGet your eyes off yourself! Be thinking about God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But it\u2019s hard, because making yourself refocus is a task. I mean, you have to force yourself to refocus; it\u2019s not going to just magically happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So I\u2019m totally with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I know that during all of that time\u2014I know that during the time just before the surgery and afterwards\u2014there were so many losses in your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You kept saying: \u201cGod, why?\u201d \u201cGod, why?\u2014why is this all happening now?\u201d I know that there\u2019s somebody, who\u2019s listening right now, who is probably asking those same questions. How would you encourage them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I would say, if you consistently are asking, \u201cWhy?\u201d and you\u2019re not receiving an answer, it\u2019s because you\u2019re not going to get an answer right now. You just have to be persistent in just searching for the answer\/searching for the answer through Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt least, for me, I had applied to PA schools two years in a row before I had my surgery. I got rejected that first year; and I was like: \u201cOkay, <em>minor<\/em> setback. We\u2019ll reexamine this and figure out what\u2019s going on.\u201d I applied again, and had a pretty big pool; and still wasn\u2019t getting accepted. I was on waiting lists, and I got diagnosed. I had a really hard time figuring out, \u201cOkay, do I apply a third time?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can logically say, \u201cHey, if I had gotten in those two times before, I would have had to quit; because I would no longer be able to continue the program\u201d; because it\u2019s a 20-month program. That would have been smack dab in the middle of [everything]. My dad kept telling me, \u201cOh, yes, that was God\u2019s favor on you, that you didn\u2019t get in,\u201d which is true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you have to put your pride on the line to apply a third time; you know? Because you\u2019re like, \u201cIf I don\u2019t get in this time, it\u2019s not because of Chiari [her physical condition]. This is God telling me, \u2018No\u2019; this is God telling me, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d I had to really, really pray about, \u201cHey, do I still feel like God is really calling me to go to PA school, and to try this?\u201d I was like: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019ll do it. I really feel like God wants me to do this.\u201d I applied again, and the first two schools that interviewed me accepted me right on the spot. I was able to turn down all the other interviews for all the other schools. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe weird part is\u2014the application for those three years\u2014I submitted the exact same application. There wasn\u2019t <em>anything<\/em> that was different about me, other than I could say, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve actually been a patient before, so I\u2019ve learned a whole lot of empathy and sympathy toward people going through stuff, because I was a patient.\u201d I don\u2019t know if that helped get me in or not; but it was still like it just wasn\u2019t the time for me to get in, and I didn\u2019t understand why.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo to the people, who are saying, \u201cWhat do I do in the \u2018Why?\u2019 phase?\u201d You have to trust the fact that you\u2019re not going to stay there. You\u2019re going to be catapulted some place different, but just because you\u2019re worrying isn\u2019t going to speed the process up. You just kind of have to embrace the \u201cWhy?\u201d\u2014which is very easy to say\/very hard to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But coming from someone, who\u2019s been there, it\u2019s so hard; but it is so worth it. It is so worth it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did your parents come alongside of you during all of this?\u2014all of these last four years? How did they do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, so in the diagnosis part, my dad is way more of a worrier than my mom is. [Laughter] Or maybe my dad\u2019s just more vocal. My mom was\u2014I think she put on a brave face; because she could tell that my dad was stressed, watching me go through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> He is helpless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I was helpless, and he was helpless. It was just like, \u201cThis is awful.\u201d But I really grew to appreciate and respect my parents way more just because, in that process, they were so reassuring to me about: \u201cYou need to pray about it. God has a plan for you.\u201d It wasn\u2019t easy for them to say that, because they were scared too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s like they seem to have it all together; but it\u2019s because they openly admit to God that they don\u2019t have it all together. He gives them so much strength and wisdom. I always thought, \u201cOh, my parents just have this, because they\u2019re strong.\u201d But it\u2019s because they\u2019re so reliant on God for every aspect of their life. It really showed me, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly how I want to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want\u2014if my kids ever have to go through this\u2014I want to be as strong of a Christian and as strong in my faith as my parents are, and how they were, when I was going through the depths of despair with recovery and everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow. It sounds like you learned a lot from your parents by watching <em>them<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014watch <em>you<\/em> face this hard thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes the future look different to you now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Surprisingly, no\u2014I mean, physically, no\u2014I\u2019m healthy; I\u2019m back to where I was; but emotionally and spiritually, it forever changed my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to say I\u2019m thankful for it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014because I wouldn\u2019t want to have to go back through all of that again\u2014but I learned so much. I\u2019m so glad that it happened before I met my husband\u2014because I don\u2019t think I\u2019m a completely different person; but it definitely changed how I view things, and how I process things, and how I react to things right away\u2014just being able to say, \u201cHey, if God got me through this, when I was almost incapacitated, He can get me through whatever other hardships there are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> God will get us through. You know, Sarah was such a joy to talk to. She was an encourager and really left me with this reminder that God uses all the hard things in our lives to shape and refine our journey. You know, these stories that we get to share with others\u2014I was so thankful that Sarah was willing to share that story with me and with <em>you<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re walking through a hard time, I really want to encourage you to listen to our program again today, and also listen to last week\u2019s program. Maybe listen to them together to hear the perspective of Sarah\u2019s parents, Jeff and Debbie Schreve, and then to hear how the story really played out in their lives. You know, it\u2019s a great reminder that: \u201cGod\u2019s thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are not our ways,\u201d and \u201cFor as high as the heavens are above the earth, so His ways are higher than our ways.\u201d We need to keep that in perspective as we walk through hard things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, are you a hugger?\u2014you know, someone who just <em>loves<\/em> to hug anyone? Or do you tend to be the person who needs that two-foot bubble?\u2014you know, that no one can penetrate\/no one can get through?\u2014because, well, you just don\u2019t want to be touched. Lore Wilbert has just written a book on the <em>ministry<\/em> of touch. She and I are going to be talking about what\u2019s good and what\u2019s bad about touch. I <em>guarantee<\/em> that your perspective of touch\u2014well, it\u2019s going to be challenged. I hope you can join us for that next week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator; and they\u2019re <em>all<\/em> huggers!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"about:blank\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883041"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305885.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305885.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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you're faced with a life-threatening illness, how does it affect your walk with God? Sarah Shreve Lindsey talkz about a number of health concerns that challenged her faith in God.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-03-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sarah Schreve Lindsey, at 22, was ambitious and talented. The world was her oyster, until it all came to a screeching halt. Here\u2019s Sarah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Before I was diagnosed, I was super-athletic. I was always going and doing stuff; so maybe my shoulder would hurt, and I wouldn\u2019t think twice about it: \u201cOh, I lifted too heavy.\u201d But now, if I wake up and I\u2019m really tired one day, I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, no; this is how it started last time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy worst fear is: \u201cAm I going to have to have surgery again, that\u2019s way more intense than it was last time?\u201d If you haven\u2019t had surgery before, you\u2019re scared about the unknown; but if you have to have surgery again, you\u2019re scared about the <em>known<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> God took Sarah Schreve Lindsey on a unique path that included pain\/lots of pain\u2014and required a lot of patience\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. Last week, we talked about worry and anxiety, especially the kind that you parents get when you\u2019re trying to raise your child to face the world, whether it be in kindergarten or in high school. We have that program on our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that program, we heard from Jeff and Debbie Schreve about the real root of worry: well, that\u2019s not trusting God. Jeff told us that once we understand that everything in our life belongs to God\u2014you know, your spouse, your kids, your job, your 401K\u2014everything! God\u2019s the one who lets us enjoy those things, and it\u2019s His responsibility to take care of them; not ours. That\u2019s a great reminder, but how many times do we really live that out?\u2014truly live that out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, a couple of years after Jeff and Debbie\u2019s conversation with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine, they came face to face with the challenge of living out this idea of really trusting God. Their youngest daughter, Sarah, developed a life-threatening condition in her brain called Arnold Chiari. Left untreated, it could have <em>killed<\/em> her. Suddenly, the whole family\u2014Jeff, Debbie, and Sarah\u2014were facing the <em>unthinkable<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong> It was a day after Christmas that everything changed in our household. My daughter woke up, and she knew something was different; she knew something was not right within her. It set us on a course of rock bottom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Like he said, I went to bed, Christmas night, feeling fine. I woke up the next morning; and instantly knew something was wrong. I remember I went out to lunch with my family, and I told them: \u201cSomething is wrong. I feel weird.\u201d My right hand started trembling, so we went to the ER. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was the most concerned. My family\u2014and other people, too\u2014thought it was just an abnormal reaction to medications that I was taking. I remember, I kept telling them, \u201cNo, like something is seriously, seriously wrong with me.\u201d I remember one day so clearly; my friend was staying with me\u2014Allie. I told her I was going to go to the bathroom. She came in my room, and I was just sobbing on the floor; because I was like: \u201cAllie, something is seriously wrong with me. I feel like people don\u2019t believe me. I wouldn\u2019t make this up, but something is very wrong.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re now four years out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Wow! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Listening to that probably brought memories back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What are you feeling right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> The further out you get from something, you forget how scared you were in the process. You forget how, every step of the way, you didn\u2019t know what was going to follow; you didn\u2019t have that security. Just listening to that, and hearing what all I said, I can just hear the fear in my voice; you can hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just didn\u2019t know what I was going to do; I didn\u2019t know what it looked like. You can still trust God that your future is going to be great, but that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re not scared for what that means exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I had to learn that it\u2019s okay to be scared. You can still follow what God tells you to, but you can still be scared. That\u2019s a normal reaction\u2014to be scared of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What did you do with those feelings of being scared?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I had to learn to voice them, you know? I grew up in a really Christian home, and I\u2019m super thankful for that; but I remember thinking: \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019m a Christian. I shouldn\u2019t be scared. I should just know to trust God. This should come, second nature to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that, in order to have a good relationship with somebody, you have to communicate what you\u2019re feeling. I had to learn\u2014whatever I was feeling, I would tell God\u2014like: \u201cHey, I\u2019m really scared today. I know I talked to You about this two minutes ago, and I\u2019m having another freak out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just had to constantly talk to Him; because the more you talk to Him, it helps avert your eyes to what\u2019s true, and what\u2019s important, and what\u2019s valid; because, I know, at least, with me, I\u2019ll have two percent of truth in a worry; and my mind will just go down the rabbit holes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, yes! There\u2019s: \u201cWhat if this?\u201d and \u201c\u2026then this?\u201d and \u201c\u2026then this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then you start thinking of worst-case scenarios. I realized the more that I voiced, \"Hey, I\u2019m scared,\u201d that I wouldn\u2019t allow myself to get super far down a rabbit hole; because immediately, when I would voice it, God would say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay; it\u2019s okay.\u201d I would kind of be brought back to: \u201cWhat I\u2019m fearful of right now is not what\u2019s true. It\u2019s not what\u2019s in front of me; I\u2019m scared of six months from now, and a year from now,\u201d which are normal concerns; but that doesn\u2019t need to overwhelm your day by day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So right after surgery, did you have to go through\u2014I\u2019m thinking of physical therapy\u2014or anything like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I should have. I was actually a really bad patient, probably because I\u2019m in healthcare. I was like: \u201cOh, I know what I\u2019m doing! I\u2019ll just do whatever.\u201d [Laughter] I went to physical therapy a couple of times; but it was more so just, \u201cHey, move your neck from side to side.\u201d I remember telling my parents, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go back for them to tell me to move it; I can do it myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to learn to pace myself. That was probably the hardest part; because I would feel okay\u2014and then I would do something: I would move my neck too quickly, or I would stand up to quickly\u2014you would feel like, \u201cI\u2019m probably going to pay for this for the next 24 hours.\u201d So I would just be really sluggish, and I would get nauseous. I had to have a lot of calming moments, where I would realize, \u201cHey, I can\u2019t do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> And a lot of it was my mom, being like: \u201cSarah, you can\u2019t do that. [Laughter] You need to sit down. You need to stop being like this.\u201d So, kudos to Debbie Schreve on that, for bringing me back in. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So what does life look like for you <em>now<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> It\u2019s crazy; life now: I graduated from PA [Physician\u2019s Assistant] school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> So you <em>got into<\/em> PA school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I got in! I got in. That was an adventure, in and of itself; but I got in. I\u2019m married to my best friend, which I would not have met him had I not gotten into this PA school at this time; I would have never met my husband. I have my dream job; I\u2019m working in interventional radiology, which utilizes ultrasound, which is what I did prior to getting into PA school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m healthy; I\u2019m active. I get to work out and do what I love. I just have to be mindful of not overdoing things; but other than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> In the last four years, have there been any times, where you have sat there and said, \u201cI\u2019ve got this weird muscle twitch\u201d?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cI have some sort of weird pain going on. Is it all going to come back to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I mean, have you felt that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, so my mom verbalized it to me best\u2014she said, \u201cOnce your body betrays you once, you freak out about any little issue.\u201d Because before I was diagnosed, I was super-athletic. I was always going and doing stuff; so maybe my shoulder would hurt, and I wouldn\u2019t think twice about it: \u201cOh, I lifted too heavy.\u201d But now, if I wake up and I\u2019m really tired one day, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, no; this is how it started last time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy worst fear is, \u201cAm I going to have to have surgery again, that\u2019s way more intense than it was last time?\u201d If you haven\u2019t had surgery before, you\u2019re scared about the unknown; but if you have to have surgery again, you\u2019re scared about the <em>known<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> The surgery itself doesn\u2019t scare me; but going back to when I had those two stroke-like episodes, that was just a horrible, horrible time. There are so many times, where I will tell my husband, \u201cHey, I think I\u2019m having\u2014like I think something\u2019s going on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s sad is\u2014a lot of my same symptoms also mirror when I have anxiety. It\u2019s like: \u201cDo I have anxiety because I have anxiety?\u201d or \u201cDo I have anxiety because I actually have a symptom?\u201d and you know, go down the rabbit hole again. A lot of times, I just have to bring myself back to: \u201cOkay, we\u2019re just going to relax for a couple of minutes. If it goes away, it\u2019s not anything serious. If it kind of remains, we\u2019re going to get it checked.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to go through, probably, more check-ups than the average person, just because I needed that reassurance from an MRI scan that said: \u201cHey, you\u2019re okay. Your stuff looks fine. Your flow in your cerebrospinal fluid is fine. You\u2019re okay. We don\u2019t know what\u2019s causing this; it might just be stress\u201d \u2014which is like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m glad I could pay a thousand dollars for someone to tell me I\u2019m stressed out!\u201d [Laughter] But it\u2019s worth it in the long run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>There\u2019s comfort in that\u2014knowing what it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Now, have you struggled in your relationship with God, at all, during these last four years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Not necessarily in the last four years. I learned a lot\/I learned a lot through recovery; because my diagnosis happened so, so fast. I mean, I had my first symptom, and then I had surgery within a month; so there wasn\u2019t a whole lot of time to process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I did a lot of my processing, post-surgery. I would say those three months of recovery was when I had a harder time with my relationship with God; because I was just like: \u201cWhat are we doing? I don\u2019t understand the plan.\u201d I don\u2019t understand the plan, because I have a tendency to think, \u201cThis is how Sarah\u2019s life should work out.\u201d I think that if I verbalize it enough, God will be like: \u201cYes, okay! That works,\u201d\u2014like He\u2019s just in the passenger seat, saying, \u201cYes, we can go here; that\u2019s fine.\u201d I try to <em>will <\/em>it into existence; and then with my diagnosis and surgery, I was just told a hard, \u201cNo,\u201d on <em>everything<\/em> that I had really, really worked towards\u2014was just: \u201cNo, no.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that time, I didn\u2019t know if it was a \u201cNo,\u201d forever or a \u201cNot right now. In the future, but not right now.\u201d I had <em>no idea<\/em> how to distinguish that. It took me a while to learn, \u201cThis might not be a \u2018No\u2019; it might just be a \u2018Not now,\u2019 and I need to be okay with that.\u201d Because there are so many times that I remember I would tell myself: \u201cI need answers! I need answers!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> And then I would reflect and be like, \u201cI don\u2019t <em>need <\/em>them; I <em>want<\/em> them; because if I needed it, God would give me that, because He provides us with our needs.\u201d You know, He meets us where we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So if I prayed about something, and didn\u2019t get an answer, I had to really learn: \u201cIt\u2019s because He doesn\u2019t want me to know the answer yet,\u201d or \u201cThere\u2019s a reason.\u201d I had to learn that, how I respond in anger, is primarily because I\u2019m scared. When I was like: \u201cI\u2019m mad at God; I\u2019m mad at God!\u201d\u2014it was more so like\u2014\u201cHey, God, I don\u2019t understand what You\u2019re doing, and that frustrates me. It makes me scared, because I realize that I\u2019m not in control of anything.\u201d That part was really, really hard for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, it sounds like you really had to find out who Sarah is through this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Oh, yes; because in the process, I lost everything that I found my value in as me\/as Sarah. I was always working out or doing something athletic; I could no longer do that. I was always out with friends, and hanging out with friends, and doing things; and I couldn\u2019t leave the house. I found, you know, my security in my job, both financially and emotionally. I felt very rewarded for doing a good job, and I could no longer work. And then, intellectually, I got rejected from PA school; so I didn\u2019t know what the future was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Everything<\/em> that I found my security in was taken away from me. I remember thinking: \u201cThat\u2019s a <em>mean<\/em> God that would do that; that\u2019s a mean\u201d\u2014like\u2014\u201cWho would ever want to follow and dedicate their life to someone that would take everything away from them?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I really realized, in the past year, after graduating PA school and kind of looking back, retrospectively, and saying: \u201cOh, wow! Look how much God has provided for me! I\u2019m married; I graduated PA school,\u201d\u2014all this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realize that my inner Sarah is very loud. You know, when I want something, I\u2019m screaming at the top of my lungs. I remember constantly thinking, \u201cI can\u2019t hear God\u2019s voice.\u201d It\u2019s because I couldn\u2019t hear it over Sarah screaming, because God\u2019s voice to me is a whisper; He purposely whispers so that you take the time to hear what He\u2019s saying. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time He took something away from me, He was making it more quiet for me to be able to hear Him. I finally realized, once everything was quiet, that was the closest I had ever felt to God; because it was just me and Him there. There weren\u2019t distractions; there was fear, but there wasn\u2019t any life distractions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs much as I would never want to [go through recovery] again, that time where I felt close to Him was something that I\u2019ll treasure for the rest of my life; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How would you describe God\u2019s character <em>now<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> He if faithful. He is faithful, and He is patient; because you know, you go through a time that\u2019s hard, and you are like, \u201cGod is faithful.\u201d Then you go through a different situation, and it\u2019s almost like you have amnesia. [Laughter] You forget, all over again, how God is faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So He\u2019s just very patient, because it doesn\u2019t matter how long it takes me to get back on track with my thinking. Or you know, how I pray and have a tendency to want to control things; so learning to release control\u2014He\u2019s just such a patient God. And He\u2019s so faithful; He\u2019s so faithful. And His plan is just sovereign. It is exactly\u2014I don\u2019t even want to say it\u2019s exactly what I thought\u2014because it\u2019s way more abundant than what I could have ever imagined. But in order to get to abundance, you have to go through a hard period; you don\u2019t just get it; you know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Every time I thought, \u201cOh, this is a hard \u2018No,\u201d it was really just a pause. It was like, \u201cHey, we\u2019re catapulting you to something greater; but right now, you need to be still; because we need to get ready for that.\u201d I just took it as: \u201cWe\u2019re no longer moving. What\u2019s going on? Where are we going? What are we doing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, I learned that He is so faithful and that He loves me; He wants the best for me. He doesn\u2019t do anything out of spite or \u201cWell, Sarah thought her life was going to end up like this. Let\u2019s freak her out; let\u2019s do this\u201d; you know? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had those thoughts too!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes! And people, who are like, \u201cI\u2019ve never thought that,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like you have; you just haven\u2019t voiced it\u2014because that is a normal human thought, to be like: \u201cWhat are we doing? Why is life going like this?\u201d And if you\u2019ve never had that thought, I\u2019m very jealous; because I think those things all the time! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just learned to relax in the fact that God has it. That doesn\u2019t mean that my need for control, or my desire for control, is going to magically disappear just because I know that God is sovereign; but it has made me relax. When I notice that I\u2019m getting kind of controllish\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014I can be like: \u201cOh, hey! He has it. I need to just simmer. I need to simmer, and just sit and relax.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Sit, and relax, and realize that God\u2019s got it. Those are easy words to throw out; those are <em>hard<\/em> words to live\u2014<em>very<\/em> hard words to live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, we need to take a quick break; but on the other side of that break, if you are someone who\u2019s walking through a hard journey right now, Sarah has some advice for you; so stick around. I\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. This week, I am talking with Sarah Schreve Lindsey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Sarah, I was telling a friend this morning, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m so anxiety-driven over this issue that I\u2019m walking through.\u201d She sent me back the verse, \u201cWhatever is lovely, whatever is noble, whatever is right\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthink on these things.\u201d She was like: \u201cGet your eyes off yourself! Be thinking about God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But it\u2019s hard, because making yourself refocus is a task. I mean, you have to force yourself to refocus; it\u2019s not going to just magically happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So I\u2019m totally with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I know that during all of that time\u2014I know that during the time just before the surgery and afterwards\u2014there were so many losses in your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You kept saying: \u201cGod, why?\u201d \u201cGod, why?\u2014why is this all happening now?\u201d I know that there\u2019s somebody, who\u2019s listening right now, who is probably asking those same questions. How would you encourage them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I would say, if you consistently are asking, \u201cWhy?\u201d and you\u2019re not receiving an answer, it\u2019s because you\u2019re not going to get an answer right now. You just have to be persistent in just searching for the answer\/searching for the answer through Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt least, for me, I had applied to PA schools two years in a row before I had my surgery. I got rejected that first year; and I was like: \u201cOkay, <em>minor<\/em> setback. We\u2019ll reexamine this and figure out what\u2019s going on.\u201d I applied again, and had a pretty big pool; and still wasn\u2019t getting accepted. I was on waiting lists, and I got diagnosed. I had a really hard time figuring out, \u201cOkay, do I apply a third time?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can logically say, \u201cHey, if I had gotten in those two times before, I would have had to quit; because I would no longer be able to continue the program\u201d; because it\u2019s a 20-month program. That would have been smack dab in the middle of [everything]. My dad kept telling me, \u201cOh, yes, that was God\u2019s favor on you, that you didn\u2019t get in,\u201d which is true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you have to put your pride on the line to apply a third time; you know? Because you\u2019re like, \u201cIf I don\u2019t get in this time, it\u2019s not because of Chiari [her physical condition]. This is God telling me, \u2018No\u2019; this is God telling me, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d I had to really, really pray about, \u201cHey, do I still feel like God is really calling me to go to PA school, and to try this?\u201d I was like: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019ll do it. I really feel like God wants me to do this.\u201d I applied again, and the first two schools that interviewed me accepted me right on the spot. I was able to turn down all the other interviews for all the other schools. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe weird part is\u2014the application for those three years\u2014I submitted the exact same application. There wasn\u2019t <em>anything<\/em> that was different about me, other than I could say, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve actually been a patient before, so I\u2019ve learned a whole lot of empathy and sympathy toward people going through stuff, because I was a patient.\u201d I don\u2019t know if that helped get me in or not; but it was still like it just wasn\u2019t the time for me to get in, and I didn\u2019t understand why.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo to the people, who are saying, \u201cWhat do I do in the \u2018Why?\u2019 phase?\u201d You have to trust the fact that you\u2019re not going to stay there. You\u2019re going to be catapulted some place different, but just because you\u2019re worrying isn\u2019t going to speed the process up. You just kind of have to embrace the \u201cWhy?\u201d\u2014which is very easy to say\/very hard to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> But coming from someone, who\u2019s been there, it\u2019s so hard; but it is so worth it. It is so worth it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did your parents come alongside of you during all of this?\u2014all of these last four years? How did they do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes, so in the diagnosis part, my dad is way more of a worrier than my mom is. [Laughter] Or maybe my dad\u2019s just more vocal. My mom was\u2014I think she put on a brave face; because she could tell that my dad was stressed, watching me go through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> He is helpless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I was helpless, and he was helpless. It was just like, \u201cThis is awful.\u201d But I really grew to appreciate and respect my parents way more just because, in that process, they were so reassuring to me about: \u201cYou need to pray about it. God has a plan for you.\u201d It wasn\u2019t easy for them to say that, because they were scared too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> You know, it\u2019s like they seem to have it all together; but it\u2019s because they openly admit to God that they don\u2019t have it all together. He gives them so much strength and wisdom. I always thought, \u201cOh, my parents just have this, because they\u2019re strong.\u201d But it\u2019s because they\u2019re so reliant on God for every aspect of their life. It really showed me, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly how I want to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want\u2014if my kids ever have to go through this\u2014I want to be as strong of a Christian and as strong in my faith as my parents are, and how they were, when I was going through the depths of despair with recovery and everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow. It sounds like you learned a lot from your parents by watching <em>them<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014watch <em>you<\/em> face this hard thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes the future look different to you now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Surprisingly, no\u2014I mean, physically, no\u2014I\u2019m healthy; I\u2019m back to where I was; but emotionally and spiritually, it forever changed my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to say I\u2019m thankful for it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014because I wouldn\u2019t want to have to go back through all of that again\u2014but I learned so much. I\u2019m so glad that it happened before I met my husband\u2014because I don\u2019t think I\u2019m a completely different person; but it definitely changed how I view things, and how I process things, and how I react to things right away\u2014just being able to say, \u201cHey, if God got me through this, when I was almost incapacitated, He can get me through whatever other hardships there are.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> God will get us through. You know, Sarah was such a joy to talk to. She was an encourager and really left me with this reminder that God uses all the hard things in our lives to shape and refine our journey. You know, these stories that we get to share with others\u2014I was so thankful that Sarah was willing to share that story with me and with <em>you<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re walking through a hard time, I really want to encourage you to listen to our program again today, and also listen to last week\u2019s program. Maybe listen to them together to hear the perspective of Sarah\u2019s parents, Jeff and Debbie Schreve, and then to hear how the story really played out in their lives. You know, it\u2019s a great reminder that: \u201cGod\u2019s thoughts are not our thoughts. His ways are not our ways,\u201d and \u201cFor as high as the heavens are above the earth, so His ways are higher than our ways.\u201d We need to keep that in perspective as we walk through hard things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, are you a hugger?\u2014you know, someone who just <em>loves<\/em> to hug anyone? Or do you tend to be the person who needs that two-foot bubble?\u2014you know, that no one can penetrate\/no one can get through?\u2014because, well, you just don\u2019t want to be touched. Lore Wilbert has just written a book on the <em>ministry<\/em> of touch. She and I are going to be talking about what\u2019s good and what\u2019s bad about touch. I <em>guarantee<\/em> that your perspective of touch\u2014well, it\u2019s going to be challenged. I hope you can join us for that next week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producers, Marques Holt and Bruce Goff. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator; and they\u2019re <em>all<\/em> huggers!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"about:blank\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305885"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305885"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305885"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}