{"id":305816,"date":"2020-03-07T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-03-07T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/where-to-put-the-pain\/"},"modified":"2020-03-07T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-03-07T11:00:05","slug":"where-to-put-the-pain","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/where-to-put-the-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Where to Put the Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dave Wilson, Ron Deal, Kyle Idleman, Lacey Buchanan, and Mary Kassian tell their stories of hurt and disappointment, and their biblical source of hope.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-03-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883155","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2860,2090],"tags":[6829],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3295,9359,8811,3160,3300],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-305816","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-special-needs-child","tag-pain-and-loss","cwp_profile-dave-wilson","cwp_profile-kyle-idleman","cwp_profile-lacey-buchanan","cwp_profile-mary-kassian","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305816\/where-to-put-the-pain","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305816\/where-to-put-the-pain","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"smPM3qMOJ0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/where-to-put-the-pain\/\">Where to Put the Pain<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/where-to-put-the-pain\/embed\/#?secret=smPM3qMOJ0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Where to Put the Pain&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"smPM3qMOJ0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-03-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2020-03-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Throughout Lacey Buchanan\u2019s pregnancy, she was told that something was wrong; but when baby Christian was born, it was obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind; but it was one of those things like we were just holding out until the doctors could confirm something for us. That news of his blindness, being delivered so callously, almost felt as if the doctor were speaking to his quality of life as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When you get that kind of news\u2014harsh news\u2014and medicine just can\u2019t seem to fix it, we\u2019re going to talk about that\u2014where to put the pain\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. You know, life seen through the eyes of a two-year-old is just good! They may get into trouble many times a day, but for the most part, they have a roof over their head; they have food in their belly; and in their minds, they are in control of <em>everything<\/em> they see. Life is good!\u2014it\u2019s all about \u201c<em>Mine<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you watch a movie or read a fiction book, you start off with a plot and life for the characters. It may be somewhat a little hard; but really, it\u2019s okay until the build-up, or the tension, or the fight with the two main characters. By the end, the issue is resolved. In the closing credits, well, you see this life lived <em>happily ever after<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat about the person, who is introduced to Christianity and comes to know Christ as their Lord and Savior, but thinks that God is going to wipe away <em>all<\/em> their troubles in the here and now? They\u2019re confused when the troubles <em>keep coming<\/em>. Have you ever known that type of person?\u2014or maybe <em>you\u2019re<\/em> there right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we grow up believing that life is good! Yes, there will be troubles; but maybe not so many bad ones that really take us down. So then, when troubles start piling up and it starts taking us down, we usually have two questions: \u201cWhere is this God in all of this?\u201d\u2014the God we\u2019re trusting\u2014and \u201cWhere do we put that pain?!\u201d That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to talk about today\u2014the pain of those existing troubles and where we put that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLife for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>host, Dave Wilson, was idyllic as a small child. He grew up in a gated community, because his dad was an airline pilot. He had a mom and a dad and a sister and three brothers. Yes, his mom and dad fought at times; but life just seemed normal. Actually, it was pretty good for a little kid growing up in the \u201860s in New Jersey until that day. Here\u2019s Dave Wilson, explaining the day that things changed in his family; he\u2019s talking with Ron Deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The night it happened was Christmas Eve. The whole family went to church. I mean, it\u2019s one of these picturesque moments; I can see snow falling, walking in at the midnight mass type deal. It was probably ten o\u2019clock at night. My little brother, Craig, and I got baptized that night. The whole family is there. We all came back to the house\u2014again, big house. We walk in; and while we were gone, Santa had shown up\u2014I thought. The <em>entire<\/em> family room was just <em>presents <\/em>everywhere\u2014more presents than I have ever seen in my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were told: \u201cOpen them! Tonight, not tomorrow; tonight!\u201d So of course, a little five-, six-, or seven-year-old kid is just ripping things apart. Every gift I could ever imagine, we got it that year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You can imagine why; I didn\u2019t know. The next morning, Christmas Day, I woke up and Dad was gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Do you remember any particular emotions at that point in time? I know you are still making sense of it; you are seven, and it\u2019s hard sometimes to make sense of things when you\u2019re that age. But looking back, do you remember any particular emotions that stood out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, a lot of it I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> remember. I didn\u2019t get angry; I was <em>discouraged<\/em>. I just remember thinking, in one way, \u201cWell, he\u2019ll be back. He\u2019s not \u2018<em>gone<\/em>\u2019 gone.\u201d But I do remember, over time, he didn\u2019t come back; he didn\u2019t come back. When he did, it was pop in\/pop out. I can remember fights again. It was not a fun moment when he would come in. I also remember he didn\u2019t seem to pay any attention to me and Craig. He was there to talk to my mom, whatever, and go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was, obviously\u2014now, I know they are still working through the details\u2014what this is going to look like; but he was <em>off<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn:\u00a0Well, it\u2019s interesting, Ron, too, that I think is one of the pieces that Dave didn\u2019t mention was something that happened to his brother very soon after the divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0Yes, well, the short story was my mom, now, is a single mom. Again, back in the \u201860s, not a whole lot of help for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0She\u2019s like, \u201cHow am I going to rebuild my life?\u201d My two brothers and older sister were off to college and beyond; they were that much older. It was really Mom and myself and Craig. We moved to Ohio. Why Ohio?\u2014that\u2019s where her parents lived. We moved to get help and start a new life, so that\u2019s traumatic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, the only thing I\u2019ve known is my really nice home. We move, and I do remember the drive\u2014talk about traumatic! You would think nothing; but at that time, I had a dog I <em>loved<\/em>\u2014a German shepherd named Sarge. Somehow, he didn\u2019t make it to Ohio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Ah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, I lose my dad; lose the marriage; and then, probably\u2014I don\u2019t know the exact timeline\u2014three to four months later, we find out Craig has leukemia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Within six weeks, he dies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There\u2019s no bone marrow transplants back then. It was very quick and, obviously, traumatic as I walk through the divorce, the move, and now my best friend\u2014my little brother\u2014is gone and it\u2019s just mom and [me].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, my mom was <em>everything<\/em>; I clung to her. She was my security, obviously. I felt like she did the same with me. We only had each other\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at that point after Craigy was gone. But I can remember\u2014even as I hit ten, and twelve, and thirteen\u2014just <em>watching<\/em> the sadness; she was very lonely\u2014felt that in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I wanted to be there for her; I wanted to help her. I remember, constantly, she would say, \u201cYou\u2019re the man of the house.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0I\u2019m twelve\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0\u2014 and I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be the man of the house!\u201d\u2014you know? But I really felt like she needed me to be strong; again, 13\/12.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As I went into middle school and high school, I <em>felt<\/em> like, \u201cShe\u2019s stable but unstable,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cI <em>can\u2019t<\/em> be unstable.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you think your relationship with her ever got unhealthy? Was she ever co-dependent? Was there ever a situation, where she was counting on you for more than a mom ought to be counting on a 12-year-old boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m wondering what my wife\u2019s thinking right now!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She just moved up to the microphone. I think she\u2019s got an answer for us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0I didn\u2019t even look over there. [Laughter] Did you notice that? I didn\u2019t even want to see what she\u2019s going to say. I <em>think<\/em> I know what she\u2019s going to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn:\u00a0Yes; I think she was <em>so broken<\/em>, so lonely, so hurting. I think the answer to that would be \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, life is hard. When these kinds of hardships happen to a young boy, or to a mom, they\u2019re very traumatic. Maybe you\u2019re like Dave\u2019s mom right now: you\u2019re single, raising children alone; you\u2019re anxious over the rent payment or where the next grocery money is coming from; but you\u2019re also dealing with hurt and loneliness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe you\u2019re like Dave: since that day, life has just been one big puzzle; you don\u2019t have the box top to show you where you\u2019re going <em>next<\/em>. Here\u2019s pastor and author, Kyle Idleman, with a <em>memory<\/em> from his grandmother\u2019s house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong> She would keep her puzzles in Ziploc<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0bags. I think it had something to do with the Great Depression; I\u2019m not sure\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that was kind of her go-to answer. She would work these puzzles and then leave them out for a while. Then, instead of putting them back in the box, she would put them in a Ziploc bag and store them in the basement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would\u2014when there was nothing else to do, we would try to work one of these Ziploc puzzles. If you\u2019ve ever tried to put together a puzzle, without a picture on the box, it is\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0frustrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong>\u00a0I mean, you don\u2019t know what the picture\u2019s going to be; you don\u2019t know how the pieces are going to fit together; you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re <em>working<\/em> toward. I don\u2019t ever remember finishing one of those puzzles. We\u2019d start them\u2014pour all the pieces out, kind of get going, maybe get a couple of pieces to come together\u2014but we would always give up, because we didn\u2019t have the picture on the box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHebrews talks about that faith is being <em>sure<\/em> of what we hope for. It\u2019s being certain of what we don\u2019t see. We don\u2019t often see the picture on the box; we don\u2019t often get to see how the pieces are going to fit together. Because of that, it\u2019s real easy to give up. We don\u2019t understand how what\u2019s happening to us in a certain situation could possibly be redeemed\/that God has this picture in mind; we have a hard time believing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFaith is understanding that God has a picture; we don\u2019t know what it is always, but God has a picture. He knows how the pieces are going to fit together, so we stick with it; we keep at it, believing that, even though we can\u2019t see it in the moment, its working toward <em>something<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways I\u2019ve tried to help people with this is by learning how to pray in a way that gives us strength. What I stumbled onto, as a pastor praying with all kinds of people, is that, when people pray about their anxiety, they typically\u2014and I did this as well; I saw it in myself\u2014they\u2019ll typically pray by telling God all about what\u2019s wrong in their lives. If you sit down and you pray with somebody about a certain situation or person, or a relationship that\u2019s difficult, the entire prayer will be, \u201cGod, here\u2019s the problem\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cHere\u2019s my list.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cHere\u2019s my list\u201d; yes. \u201cHere\u2019s everything that needs to change.\u201d The emphasis is on the struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as I was reading through the Psalms\u2014and this is true, certainly, in Nehemiah as well\u2014there is a shift that, oftentimes, takes place in the prayers of David, where he\u00a0<em>begins<\/em>\u00a0by telling God about his anxieties, but then, he switches; and he starts telling his anxieties about God. That\u2019s a much different\u00a0<em>kind<\/em>\u00a0of prayer!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a father of three teenagers, it is very easy for me to pray for them in this way, where I am telling God about every challenge they have, everything I need Him to do to fix whatever is going on in their lives, and what needs to be adjusted in their life or in their attitude. You know, it\u2019s easy for me to pray from that perspective, <em>rather than<\/em> to pray, you know: \u201cGod, thank You that You\u2019re allowing her to go through this now so that we get to speak into some of these things,\u201d \u201cThank you for the way You have redeemed this situation in her faith,\u201d \u201cI believe, God, You\u2019re going to\u00a0<em>draw<\/em>\u00a0him closer to You because of the struggle that he\u2019s going through,\u201d and \u201cGod, I\u2019m praying that You\u2019ll bring a friend. I\u2019m believing that You\u2019re going to bring a friend into their life that\u2019s going to help them through this time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t matter\u2014praying for them in a way that, does not express defeat, but expresses a faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Great practical advice from Kyle Idleman, helping us see that we need to be praying with <em>faith<\/em> that God is answering us even in those <em>hard<\/em> moments and in those struggles. Kyle was talking about some of those everyday ongoing issues; but how do we see God when those big things drop: like cancer diagnosis, or when you\u2019re out of a job for months on end, or when your child is born with a sever health defect?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to take a look at that right after this break. I\u2019ll be back in two minutes with Lacey Buchanan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. You\u2019ve heard the saying: \u201cFirst comes love, then comes marriage; then comes a baby in a baby carriage!\u201d Well, life for Lacey Buchanan seemed to be going [well]. She was newly-married; she was taking classes for her law degree; and she had just found out she was pregnant with their first baby. All this sounds perfect; doesn\u2019t it? But then the doctors noticed this abnormality. Four days after baby Christian was born, they heard the news. Here\u2019s Lacey Buchanan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong>\u00a0My husband was in the room, alone with my son; I had stepped out for just a few moments. The doctor comes in, I\u2019m told, and doesn\u2019t ask where I am\/doesn\u2019t ask for me to come in so that he can deliver the news to both of us. He sort of walks in to my husband\u2014it\u2019s late at night\u2014nine\/ten p.m. We\u2019ve watched our son go through surgery\u2014our four-day-old child go through surgery earlier that day. We are mentally, physically, emotionally\u00a0<em>drained<\/em>\u00a0at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe walks into my husband and says, \u201cYour son is blind; sorry,\u201d and walks out. By the time I get back to the room, my husband is sitting there, sobbing. I check on the baby first, like: \u201cHas something happened? What\u2019s going on? Is everything okay?\u201d You know, Christian\u2019s fine. That\u2019s when my husband tells me what had happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What were you thinking as your husband was sobbing and was saying, \u201cHe\u2019s blind!\u201d You had seen his face; that had to have dawned on you as well. How did you process that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind; but it was one of those things like we were just holding out until the doctors could tell us something\/could confirm something for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat news\u2014and I think also delivered so callously to us\u2014we were overwhelmed with\/immediately overwhelmed with this four-day-old baby and \u201cHere\u2019s the rest of his life,\u201d we\u2019re having to contend with, immediately, there in that hospital room. You know, his whole life was in front of us. We were thinking: \u201cWhat are we going to do? How do we raise a child who\u2019s blind? How do we raise a child with these medical needs? What is Christian\u2019s quality of life going to be like?\u201d because, of course, we <em>wanted<\/em> a good quality of life for this child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like the news of his blindness, being delivered so callously, it almost felt like as if the doctor was speaking to his quality of life as well. We took that to heart at first; we were so young\u2014first-time parents, you know? There was no manual on parenting for us to read ahead of time; we were devastated!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Usually, when a person or a couple faces circumstances like this, there has to be a time, as you process through the realities of this and think, on down the road, where you become angry. Did you get angry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And how long did it take you to begin to express that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0Yes, I was angry; there was a time of anger. I think it built up and peaked right about when Christian was four months old. You know, we had been going to the hospital\u2014he was in the NICU for about a month, and it was a really hard NICU stay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had surgery while he was there. I was trying to work a full-time job; my husband was working a full-time job. I was going to law school still in the evenings; I didn\u2019t get a break because I had a baby. Here I am, trying to get my child to these specialists; he had three to six appointments a week, an hour away from our home. I\u2019m trying to balance all of this. I mean, I was so overwhelmed; I felt like I was drowning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was three months old, he had a second surgery. I was <em>totally<\/em> mentally unprepared for it. When he had <em>that<\/em> surgery, it was\u00a0the\u00a0hardest surgery he\u2019s ever had. I sat in the hospital room, and I listened to his monitors beep. I was waiting for his heart to stop beating after this surgery; it was that bad. I sat there, and I just remember the beeping in my head. Every beat meant a heartbeat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sitting here, waiting for it to stop; I\u2019m talking to God and I\u2019m like: \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this for the rest of my life. I love this child, and I want to do whatever I have to do for him. We can\u2019t keep going through this.\u201d Christian was facing multiple more surgeries. I thought, \u201cHow are we ever going to get through this?\u201d I\u2019m thinking: \u201cGod, what are You doing? Why are You putting us through this?\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014like: I\u2019ve been going to church my whole life. I was leading praise and worship; I was teaching Sunday school classes. You know: \u201cWe were doing it right, and this innocent child!\u2014what has he done?\u201d I was <em>so<\/em>\u00a0angry\u00a0at God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Did you share that anger with Chris? Or was this more of a private shaking your fist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0You know, I shared some of it with Chris. I probably\u2014more than telling Chris how angry I was at God\u2014I was probably lashing out at him as well; you know, taking my frustrations out on him as well. He knew I was angry, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were both sort of just in a state of limbo\u2014like, \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d Communication wasn\u2019t good. I mean, how do you even communicate during this time? You know, we were struggling to even breathe some days\u2014it felt like. Talking was just exerting more energy we didn\u2019t even have. Yes, he knew; I don\u2019t think we ever sat down and talked about it like we should have, honestly, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did all of this drive a wedge in your marriage relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0It did; yes, it did for a long time. Well, we both handled it differently, too. I was the protective mama bear; I mean, I would fight you for my child\u2014you know, \u201cI\u2019m going to protect him.\u201d And the difficulties that I was having\u2014Chris wasn\u2019t at the appointments with me with the doctors, because he was having to work\u2014I was dealing with these doctors, who were, you know, sometimes less than nice. Here I am, already emotionally a mess, so my response to them was to start retaliating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u201cWhatever it takes to fix my son!\u2014you\u2019ve got to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0\u201cJust do it! Just do it!\u201d\u2014yes, yes\u2014and \u201cStop being mean about it! Just do your job.\u201d That built up, too. I was just\u2014I was ready to fight: \u201cIf I need to fight you for my child, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris sort of dealt with it by just burying his head in his work. I mean, he was working as much as he could. For him, it was sort of \u201cout of sight, out of mind\u201d: \u201cIf I\u2019m not around it, I don\u2019t have to deal with it.\u201d It\u2019s much easier to sort of step back. He handed it to me; and it was sort of like: \u201cYou deal with it; and I\u2019m going to go work, because I\u2019m still providing for the family. I\u2019m still sort of taking care of my responsibilities over here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt abandoned; because, like: \u201cHey, I need you to step up! I need your help. I\u2019m drowning here.\u201d In his own way, he\u2019s over here, drowning, as well. He\u2019s thinking, \u201cI can\u2019t help you; I can\u2019t help myself!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow! Can you imagine hearing those words: \u201cI can\u2019t help you, because I can\u2019t help myself?\u201d It took Lacey and her husband Chris a long time to make peace with what was going on with Christian and what God was doing in their lives; but eventually, they did get there. Life is going better for them, but it wasn\u2019t quite the Hollywood version that we like to think that life is. In fact, go to our website, and you can listen to the interview with Lacey as she describes their journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we have heard a couple of examples about, you know, when life comes at us like a freight train, and our world seems to be blown up in a moment\u2019s notice. What are we supposed to do? What is a Christian\u2019s best practice? You know, are we supposed to pray? Are we supposed to read the Psalms? What are we <em>to do<\/em> when we\u2019re getting used to that new normal, and we\u2019re trying to lift our eyes to God, who is the Author and Perfecter of our faith? We know that, but we might <em>not feel<\/em> it at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Bible teacher and author, Mary Kassian, wants us to remember what the <em>most<\/em> important practice is when we are struggling during these times. Here\u2019s Mary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I think that it\u2019s important to know the Word of God. If you don\u2019t know the Word of God, you\u2019re not going to be able to guard your mind. You need to know Scripture; because if you do not know Scripture, you won\u2019t know what\u2019s false and what\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a Christian, when I have submitted my life to Christ and to His way and His Word, then I have to take the Scripture and go, \u201cAlright, there are all these thoughts going through my head here! I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Oh, Mary! You\u2019re worthless; you\u2019re good for nothing.\u2019 There\u2019s all this mental chatter going on; I need to evaluate it\u2014to stop and evaluate it\u2014and go: \u201cIs that the way that God wants me to think? Am I thinking according to the truth in the Word of God, or am I giving in to deceit?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re told that the big creep, Satan, is the master deceiver. He\u2019s the accuser of the brethren, so he\u2019s always going to be whispering in my ear: falsehood, things to accuse me, things to lead me astray, things that are untrue. I have to <em>fight<\/em> for the truth, with the help of God\u2019s Holy Spirit and His Word; it\u2019s how you combat error. You come against error with truth, and you come against it with the truth of the Word of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I have done is: if there\u2019s something in my life that I\u2019m struggling with, I will sometimes identify a Scripture to help me fight that battle. For instance, when I was battling with just having a critical spirit and critical words, I memorized Ephesians 4:29, which says, \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d That\u2019s one of the ways that I combat that creep and that falsehood that was in my mind, and combatted it with truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, what an excellent reminder from Mary Kassian; you\u2019ve got to combat it with truth! You know, there\u2019s strength\/almost a resilience that happens when we go back to what we know to be true, in spite of our circumstances. For some of our pain and struggles, there is no real answer, this side of heaven; that\u2019s a hard pill to swallow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the Bible, in the Book of John, Jesus said these words: \u201cI have told you these things so that, in Me, you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.\u201d You know, in this world, you will have struggles. Dave had struggles; Lacey had struggles; I have struggles! But we need to remember <em>not<\/em> to lose sight of Him; He is our comfort, and He\u2019s continuing to work <em>through<\/em> that pain. He is all-powerful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re listening right now\u2014and you don\u2019t feel like you have that hope of knowing that He is all-powerful\u2014and you\u2019re in the bottom of a pit and you feel like you have <em>nowhere<\/em> to turn, you actually do. You can turn to God; it\u2019s not a clich\u00e9!\u2014it is the truth. If you don\u2019t know Him, I plead with you to get to know Him. If you haven\u2019t placed your faith in Him, I really want to invite you, right now, to do just that\u2014cry out to Jesus: \u201cJesus, I need You. Save me! I need Your grace. I\u2019m in need of Your forgiveness. God, I give You all that I am\u2014the good, the bad, and the ugly\u2014and I ask You to fill me with all that You are. I place my trust and faith in You as Lord and Savior of my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve just now given your life to Him, find a Bible, and start reading the Book of John. Get to know Him better, and then begin looking for a church in your area that preaches the gospel. They would <em>love<\/em> to have you as part of their congregation. If you need further help, you can always stop at our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. We have links there to help you continue on in getting to know your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo earlier today, we listened to Dave Wilson recount the pain of losing his dad and his brother in just a matter of <em>months<\/em>. Next week, we\u2019re going to hear Dave talk about that childhood pain\u2014how it affected his marriage, as an adult. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"about:blank\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883155"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305816.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305816.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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Wilson, Ron Deal, Kyle Idleman, Lacey Buchanan, and Mary Kassian tell their stories of hurt and disappointment, and their biblical source of hope.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylife.com\/flw\/flw2020-03-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Throughout Lacey Buchanan\u2019s pregnancy, she was told that something was wrong; but when baby Christian was born, it was obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind; but it was one of those things like we were just holding out until the doctors could confirm something for us. That news of his blindness, being delivered so callously, almost felt as if the doctor were speaking to his quality of life as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When you get that kind of news\u2014harsh news\u2014and medicine just can\u2019t seem to fix it, we\u2019re going to talk about that\u2014where to put the pain\u2014on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. You know, life seen through the eyes of a two-year-old is just good! They may get into trouble many times a day, but for the most part, they have a roof over their head; they have food in their belly; and in their minds, they are in control of <em>everything<\/em> they see. Life is good!\u2014it\u2019s all about \u201c<em>Mine<\/em>!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you watch a movie or read a fiction book, you start off with a plot and life for the characters. It may be somewhat a little hard; but really, it\u2019s okay until the build-up, or the tension, or the fight with the two main characters. By the end, the issue is resolved. In the closing credits, well, you see this life lived <em>happily ever after<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat about the person, who is introduced to Christianity and comes to know Christ as their Lord and Savior, but thinks that God is going to wipe away <em>all<\/em> their troubles in the here and now? They\u2019re confused when the troubles <em>keep coming<\/em>. Have you ever known that type of person?\u2014or maybe <em>you\u2019re<\/em> there right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we grow up believing that life is good! Yes, there will be troubles; but maybe not so many bad ones that really take us down. So then, when troubles start piling up and it starts taking us down, we usually have two questions: \u201cWhere is this God in all of this?\u201d\u2014the God we\u2019re trusting\u2014and \u201cWhere do we put that pain?!\u201d That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to talk about today\u2014the pain of those existing troubles and where we put that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLife for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>host, Dave Wilson, was idyllic as a small child. He grew up in a gated community, because his dad was an airline pilot. He had a mom and a dad and a sister and three brothers. Yes, his mom and dad fought at times; but life just seemed normal. Actually, it was pretty good for a little kid growing up in the \u201860s in New Jersey until that day. Here\u2019s Dave Wilson, explaining the day that things changed in his family; he\u2019s talking with Ron Deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em><sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The night it happened was Christmas Eve. The whole family went to church. I mean, it\u2019s one of these picturesque moments; I can see snow falling, walking in at the midnight mass type deal. It was probably ten o\u2019clock at night. My little brother, Craig, and I got baptized that night. The whole family is there. We all came back to the house\u2014again, big house. We walk in; and while we were gone, Santa had shown up\u2014I thought. The <em>entire<\/em> family room was just <em>presents <\/em>everywhere\u2014more presents than I have ever seen in my life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were told: \u201cOpen them! Tonight, not tomorrow; tonight!\u201d So of course, a little five-, six-, or seven-year-old kid is just ripping things apart. Every gift I could ever imagine, we got it that year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You can imagine why; I didn\u2019t know. The next morning, Christmas Day, I woke up and Dad was gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Do you remember any particular emotions at that point in time? I know you are still making sense of it; you are seven, and it\u2019s hard sometimes to make sense of things when you\u2019re that age. But looking back, do you remember any particular emotions that stood out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, a lot of it I <em>don\u2019t<\/em> remember. I didn\u2019t get angry; I was <em>discouraged<\/em>. I just remember thinking, in one way, \u201cWell, he\u2019ll be back. He\u2019s not \u2018<em>gone<\/em>\u2019 gone.\u201d But I do remember, over time, he didn\u2019t come back; he didn\u2019t come back. When he did, it was pop in\/pop out. I can remember fights again. It was not a fun moment when he would come in. I also remember he didn\u2019t seem to pay any attention to me and Craig. He was there to talk to my mom, whatever, and go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was, obviously\u2014now, I know they are still working through the details\u2014what this is going to look like; but he was <em>off<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn:\u00a0Well, it\u2019s interesting, Ron, too, that I think is one of the pieces that Dave didn\u2019t mention was something that happened to his brother very soon after the divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0Yes, well, the short story was my mom, now, is a single mom. Again, back in the \u201860s, not a whole lot of help for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0She\u2019s like, \u201cHow am I going to rebuild my life?\u201d My two brothers and older sister were off to college and beyond; they were that much older. It was really Mom and myself and Craig. We moved to Ohio. Why Ohio?\u2014that\u2019s where her parents lived. We moved to get help and start a new life, so that\u2019s traumatic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, the only thing I\u2019ve known is my really nice home. We move, and I do remember the drive\u2014talk about traumatic! You would think nothing; but at that time, I had a dog I <em>loved<\/em>\u2014a German shepherd named Sarge. Somehow, he didn\u2019t make it to Ohio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Ah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Again, I lose my dad; lose the marriage; and then, probably\u2014I don\u2019t know the exact timeline\u2014three to four months later, we find out Craig has leukemia. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Oh, wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Within six weeks, he dies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There\u2019s no bone marrow transplants back then. It was very quick and, obviously, traumatic as I walk through the divorce, the move, and now my best friend\u2014my little brother\u2014is gone and it\u2019s just mom and [me].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, my mom was <em>everything<\/em>; I clung to her. She was my security, obviously. I felt like she did the same with me. We only had each other\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014at that point after Craigy was gone. But I can remember\u2014even as I hit ten, and twelve, and thirteen\u2014just <em>watching<\/em> the sadness; she was very lonely\u2014felt that in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I wanted to be there for her; I wanted to help her. I remember, constantly, she would say, \u201cYou\u2019re the man of the house.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0I\u2019m twelve\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon:\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0\u2014 and I\u2019m like, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be the man of the house!\u201d\u2014you know? But I really felt like she needed me to be strong; again, 13\/12.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As I went into middle school and high school, I <em>felt<\/em> like, \u201cShe\u2019s stable but unstable,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and \u201cI <em>can\u2019t<\/em> be unstable.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you think your relationship with her ever got unhealthy? Was she ever co-dependent? Was there ever a situation, where she was counting on you for more than a mom ought to be counting on a 12-year-old boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m wondering what my wife\u2019s thinking right now!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0She just moved up to the microphone. I think she\u2019s got an answer for us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave:\u00a0I didn\u2019t even look over there. [Laughter] Did you notice that? I didn\u2019t even want to see what she\u2019s going to say. I <em>think<\/em> I know what she\u2019s going to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnn:\u00a0Yes; I think she was <em>so broken<\/em>, so lonely, so hurting. I think the answer to that would be \u201cYes.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> You know, life is hard. When these kinds of hardships happen to a young boy, or to a mom, they\u2019re very traumatic. Maybe you\u2019re like Dave\u2019s mom right now: you\u2019re single, raising children alone; you\u2019re anxious over the rent payment or where the next grocery money is coming from; but you\u2019re also dealing with hurt and loneliness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe you\u2019re like Dave: since that day, life has just been one big puzzle; you don\u2019t have the box top to show you where you\u2019re going <em>next<\/em>. Here\u2019s pastor and author, Kyle Idleman, with a <em>memory<\/em> from his grandmother\u2019s house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong> She would keep her puzzles in Ziploc<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u00a0bags. I think it had something to do with the Great Depression; I\u2019m not sure\u2014[Laughter]\u2014that was kind of her go-to answer. She would work these puzzles and then leave them out for a while. Then, instead of putting them back in the box, she would put them in a Ziploc bag and store them in the basement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would\u2014when there was nothing else to do, we would try to work one of these Ziploc puzzles. If you\u2019ve ever tried to put together a puzzle, without a picture on the box, it is\u00a0<em>really<\/em>\u00a0frustrating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong>\u00a0I mean, you don\u2019t know what the picture\u2019s going to be; you don\u2019t know how the pieces are going to fit together; you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re <em>working<\/em> toward. I don\u2019t ever remember finishing one of those puzzles. We\u2019d start them\u2014pour all the pieces out, kind of get going, maybe get a couple of pieces to come together\u2014but we would always give up, because we didn\u2019t have the picture on the box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHebrews talks about that faith is being <em>sure<\/em> of what we hope for. It\u2019s being certain of what we don\u2019t see. We don\u2019t often see the picture on the box; we don\u2019t often get to see how the pieces are going to fit together. Because of that, it\u2019s real easy to give up. We don\u2019t understand how what\u2019s happening to us in a certain situation could possibly be redeemed\/that God has this picture in mind; we have a hard time believing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFaith is understanding that God has a picture; we don\u2019t know what it is always, but God has a picture. He knows how the pieces are going to fit together, so we stick with it; we keep at it, believing that, even though we can\u2019t see it in the moment, its working toward <em>something<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways I\u2019ve tried to help people with this is by learning how to pray in a way that gives us strength. What I stumbled onto, as a pastor praying with all kinds of people, is that, when people pray about their anxiety, they typically\u2014and I did this as well; I saw it in myself\u2014they\u2019ll typically pray by telling God all about what\u2019s wrong in their lives. If you sit down and you pray with somebody about a certain situation or person, or a relationship that\u2019s difficult, the entire prayer will be, \u201cGod, here\u2019s the problem\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cHere\u2019s my list.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kyle:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cHere\u2019s my list\u201d; yes. \u201cHere\u2019s everything that needs to change.\u201d The emphasis is on the struggle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as I was reading through the Psalms\u2014and this is true, certainly, in Nehemiah as well\u2014there is a shift that, oftentimes, takes place in the prayers of David, where he\u00a0<em>begins<\/em>\u00a0by telling God about his anxieties, but then, he switches; and he starts telling his anxieties about God. That\u2019s a much different\u00a0<em>kind<\/em>\u00a0of prayer!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a father of three teenagers, it is very easy for me to pray for them in this way, where I am telling God about every challenge they have, everything I need Him to do to fix whatever is going on in their lives, and what needs to be adjusted in their life or in their attitude. You know, it\u2019s easy for me to pray from that perspective, <em>rather than<\/em> to pray, you know: \u201cGod, thank You that You\u2019re allowing her to go through this now so that we get to speak into some of these things,\u201d \u201cThank you for the way You have redeemed this situation in her faith,\u201d \u201cI believe, God, You\u2019re going to\u00a0<em>draw<\/em>\u00a0him closer to You because of the struggle that he\u2019s going through,\u201d and \u201cGod, I\u2019m praying that You\u2019ll bring a friend. I\u2019m believing that You\u2019re going to bring a friend into their life that\u2019s going to help them through this time.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t matter\u2014praying for them in a way that, does not express defeat, but expresses a faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Great practical advice from Kyle Idleman, helping us see that we need to be praying with <em>faith<\/em> that God is answering us even in those <em>hard<\/em> moments and in those struggles. Kyle was talking about some of those everyday ongoing issues; but how do we see God when those big things drop: like cancer diagnosis, or when you\u2019re out of a job for months on end, or when your child is born with a sever health defect?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to take a look at that right after this break. I\u2019ll be back in two minutes with Lacey Buchanan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. You\u2019ve heard the saying: \u201cFirst comes love, then comes marriage; then comes a baby in a baby carriage!\u201d Well, life for Lacey Buchanan seemed to be going [well]. She was newly-married; she was taking classes for her law degree; and she had just found out she was pregnant with their first baby. All this sounds perfect; doesn\u2019t it? But then the doctors noticed this abnormality. Four days after baby Christian was born, they heard the news. Here\u2019s Lacey Buchanan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Broadcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong>\u00a0My husband was in the room, alone with my son; I had stepped out for just a few moments. The doctor comes in, I\u2019m told, and doesn\u2019t ask where I am\/doesn\u2019t ask for me to come in so that he can deliver the news to both of us. He sort of walks in to my husband\u2014it\u2019s late at night\u2014nine\/ten p.m. We\u2019ve watched our son go through surgery\u2014our four-day-old child go through surgery earlier that day. We are mentally, physically, emotionally\u00a0<em>drained<\/em>\u00a0at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe walks into my husband and says, \u201cYour son is blind; sorry,\u201d and walks out. By the time I get back to the room, my husband is sitting there, sobbing. I check on the baby first, like: \u201cHas something happened? What\u2019s going on? Is everything okay?\u201d You know, Christian\u2019s fine. That\u2019s when my husband tells me what had happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What were you thinking as your husband was sobbing and was saying, \u201cHe\u2019s blind!\u201d You had seen his face; that had to have dawned on you as well. How did you process that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Lacey:<\/strong> It was pretty much just devastation at first. We sort of knew, by looking at him, that he was blind; but it was one of those things like we were just holding out until the doctors could tell us something\/could confirm something for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat news\u2014and I think also delivered so callously to us\u2014we were overwhelmed with\/immediately overwhelmed with this four-day-old baby and \u201cHere\u2019s the rest of his life,\u201d we\u2019re having to contend with, immediately, there in that hospital room. You know, his whole life was in front of us. We were thinking: \u201cWhat are we going to do? How do we raise a child who\u2019s blind? How do we raise a child with these medical needs? What is Christian\u2019s quality of life going to be like?\u201d because, of course, we <em>wanted<\/em> a good quality of life for this child. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like the news of his blindness, being delivered so callously, it almost felt like as if the doctor was speaking to his quality of life as well. We took that to heart at first; we were so young\u2014first-time parents, you know? There was no manual on parenting for us to read ahead of time; we were devastated!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Usually, when a person or a couple faces circumstances like this, there has to be a time, as you process through the realities of this and think, on down the road, where you become angry. Did you get angry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0And how long did it take you to begin to express that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0Yes, I was angry; there was a time of anger. I think it built up and peaked right about when Christian was four months old. You know, we had been going to the hospital\u2014he was in the NICU for about a month, and it was a really hard NICU stay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had surgery while he was there. I was trying to work a full-time job; my husband was working a full-time job. I was going to law school still in the evenings; I didn\u2019t get a break because I had a baby. Here I am, trying to get my child to these specialists; he had three to six appointments a week, an hour away from our home. I\u2019m trying to balance all of this. I mean, I was so overwhelmed; I felt like I was drowning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen he was three months old, he had a second surgery. I was <em>totally<\/em> mentally unprepared for it. When he had <em>that<\/em> surgery, it was\u00a0the\u00a0hardest surgery he\u2019s ever had. I sat in the hospital room, and I listened to his monitors beep. I was waiting for his heart to stop beating after this surgery; it was that bad. I sat there, and I just remember the beeping in my head. Every beat meant a heartbeat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sitting here, waiting for it to stop; I\u2019m talking to God and I\u2019m like: \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this for the rest of my life. I love this child, and I want to do whatever I have to do for him. We can\u2019t keep going through this.\u201d Christian was facing multiple more surgeries. I thought, \u201cHow are we ever going to get through this?\u201d I\u2019m thinking: \u201cGod, what are You doing? Why are You putting us through this?\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014like: I\u2019ve been going to church my whole life. I was leading praise and worship; I was teaching Sunday school classes. You know: \u201cWe were doing it right, and this innocent child!\u2014what has he done?\u201d I was <em>so<\/em>\u00a0angry\u00a0at God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0Did you share that anger with Chris? Or was this more of a private shaking your fist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0You know, I shared some of it with Chris. I probably\u2014more than telling Chris how angry I was at God\u2014I was probably lashing out at him as well; you know, taking my frustrations out on him as well. He knew I was angry, for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were both sort of just in a state of limbo\u2014like, \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d Communication wasn\u2019t good. I mean, how do you even communicate during this time? You know, we were struggling to even breathe some days\u2014it felt like. Talking was just exerting more energy we didn\u2019t even have. Yes, he knew; I don\u2019t think we ever sat down and talked about it like we should have, honestly, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0Did all of this drive a wedge in your marriage relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0It did; yes, it did for a long time. Well, we both handled it differently, too. I was the protective mama bear; I mean, I would fight you for my child\u2014you know, \u201cI\u2019m going to protect him.\u201d And the difficulties that I was having\u2014Chris wasn\u2019t at the appointments with me with the doctors, because he was having to work\u2014I was dealing with these doctors, who were, you know, sometimes less than nice. Here I am, already emotionally a mess, so my response to them was to start retaliating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0\u201cWhatever it takes to fix my son!\u2014you\u2019ve got to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLacey:\u00a0\u201cJust do it! Just do it!\u201d\u2014yes, yes\u2014and \u201cStop being mean about it! Just do your job.\u201d That built up, too. I was just\u2014I was ready to fight: \u201cIf I need to fight you for my child, I will.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris sort of dealt with it by just burying his head in his work. I mean, he was working as much as he could. For him, it was sort of \u201cout of sight, out of mind\u201d: \u201cIf I\u2019m not around it, I don\u2019t have to deal with it.\u201d It\u2019s much easier to sort of step back. He handed it to me; and it was sort of like: \u201cYou deal with it; and I\u2019m going to go work, because I\u2019m still providing for the family. I\u2019m still sort of taking care of my responsibilities over here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt abandoned; because, like: \u201cHey, I need you to step up! I need your help. I\u2019m drowning here.\u201d In his own way, he\u2019s over here, drowning, as well. He\u2019s thinking, \u201cI can\u2019t help you; I can\u2019t help myself!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow! Can you imagine hearing those words: \u201cI can\u2019t help you, because I can\u2019t help myself?\u201d It took Lacey and her husband Chris a long time to make peace with what was going on with Christian and what God was doing in their lives; but eventually, they did get there. Life is going better for them, but it wasn\u2019t quite the Hollywood version that we like to think that life is. In fact, go to our website, and you can listen to the interview with Lacey as she describes their journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we have heard a couple of examples about, you know, when life comes at us like a freight train, and our world seems to be blown up in a moment\u2019s notice. What are we supposed to do? What is a Christian\u2019s best practice? You know, are we supposed to pray? Are we supposed to read the Psalms? What are we <em>to do<\/em> when we\u2019re getting used to that new normal, and we\u2019re trying to lift our eyes to God, who is the Author and Perfecter of our faith? We know that, but we might <em>not feel<\/em> it at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Bible teacher and author, Mary Kassian, wants us to remember what the <em>most<\/em> important practice is when we are struggling during these times. Here\u2019s Mary.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> I think that it\u2019s important to know the Word of God. If you don\u2019t know the Word of God, you\u2019re not going to be able to guard your mind. You need to know Scripture; because if you do not know Scripture, you won\u2019t know what\u2019s false and what\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a Christian, when I have submitted my life to Christ and to His way and His Word, then I have to take the Scripture and go, \u201cAlright, there are all these thoughts going through my head here! I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Oh, Mary! You\u2019re worthless; you\u2019re good for nothing.\u2019 There\u2019s all this mental chatter going on; I need to evaluate it\u2014to stop and evaluate it\u2014and go: \u201cIs that the way that God wants me to think? Am I thinking according to the truth in the Word of God, or am I giving in to deceit?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re told that the big creep, Satan, is the master deceiver. He\u2019s the accuser of the brethren, so he\u2019s always going to be whispering in my ear: falsehood, things to accuse me, things to lead me astray, things that are untrue. I have to <em>fight<\/em> for the truth, with the help of God\u2019s Holy Spirit and His Word; it\u2019s how you combat error. You come against error with truth, and you come against it with the truth of the Word of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I have done is: if there\u2019s something in my life that I\u2019m struggling with, I will sometimes identify a Scripture to help me fight that battle. For instance, when I was battling with just having a critical spirit and critical words, I memorized Ephesians 4:29, which says, \u201cDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.\u201d That\u2019s one of the ways that I combat that creep and that falsehood that was in my mind, and combatted it with truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, what an excellent reminder from Mary Kassian; you\u2019ve got to combat it with truth! You know, there\u2019s strength\/almost a resilience that happens when we go back to what we know to be true, in spite of our circumstances. For some of our pain and struggles, there is no real answer, this side of heaven; that\u2019s a hard pill to swallow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the Bible, in the Book of John, Jesus said these words: \u201cI have told you these things so that, in Me, you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.\u201d You know, in this world, you will have struggles. Dave had struggles; Lacey had struggles; I have struggles! But we need to remember <em>not<\/em> to lose sight of Him; He is our comfort, and He\u2019s continuing to work <em>through<\/em> that pain. He is all-powerful!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re listening right now\u2014and you don\u2019t feel like you have that hope of knowing that He is all-powerful\u2014and you\u2019re in the bottom of a pit and you feel like you have <em>nowhere<\/em> to turn, you actually do. You can turn to God; it\u2019s not a clich\u00e9!\u2014it is the truth. If you don\u2019t know Him, I plead with you to get to know Him. If you haven\u2019t placed your faith in Him, I really want to invite you, right now, to do just that\u2014cry out to Jesus: \u201cJesus, I need You. Save me! I need Your grace. I\u2019m in need of Your forgiveness. God, I give You all that I am\u2014the good, the bad, and the ugly\u2014and I ask You to fill me with all that You are. I place my trust and faith in You as Lord and Savior of my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve just now given your life to Him, find a Bible, and start reading the Book of John. Get to know Him better, and then begin looking for a church in your area that preaches the gospel. They would <em>love<\/em> to have you as part of their congregation. If you need further help, you can always stop at our website, FamilyLifeThisWeek.com. We have links there to help you continue on in getting to know your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo earlier today, we listened to Dave Wilson recount the pain of losing his dad and his brother in just a matter of <em>months<\/em>. Next week, we\u2019re going to hear Dave talk about that childhood pain\u2014how it affected his marriage, as an adult. I hope you can join us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, thanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. A big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch. Thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"about:blank\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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