{"id":305743,"date":"2020-02-10T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2020-02-10T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/growing-in-faith\/"},"modified":"2020-02-10T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2020-02-10T11:00:05","slug":"growing-in-faith","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-in-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing in Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Guest: JP Pokluda | Series: Welcome to Adulting | Author Jonathan &#8220;JP&#8221; Pokluda remembers his growth to adulthood and the many mistakes he made along the way, despite being raised in church. One night in college he sensed his depravity and called out to God. After chasing the American Dream, Pokluda tells how he placed his faith in Christ and found the key to real purpose and joy.<\/p>\n<p>Show Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tTake the Love That Lasts: Marital Health Inventory.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/lasting-love\/<br \/>\n \tFind resources from this podcast at https:\/\/shop.familylife.com\/.<br \/>\n \tThe Weekend to Remember\u00ae https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend-to-remember\/<br \/>\n \tCheck out all that&#8217;s available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.\u00a0 https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/familylife-podcast-network\/<br \/>\n \tHave the FamilyLife Today\u00ae podcast and resources helped you?\u00a0 Consider becoming a Legacy Partner, a monthly supporter of FamilyLife.\u00a0https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/legacy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author Jonathan &#8220;JP&#8221; Pokluda remembers his growth to adulthood and the many mistakes he made along the way. After chasing the American Dream, Pokluda tells how he found the key to real purpose and joy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-02-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:14","filesize":"26.76M","filesize_raw":"28061843","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2814,2855],"tags":[4155],"podcast_series":[8338],"cwp_profile":[9594],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305743","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-releasing-your-child","category-teens","tag-adulting","podcast_series-welcome-to-adulting","cwp_profile-jp-pokluda","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305743\/growing-in-faith","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305743\/growing-in-faith","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0WUsiGC0LJ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-in-faith\/\">Growing in Faith<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-in-faith\/embed\/#?secret=0WUsiGC0LJ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Growing in Faith&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0WUsiGC0LJ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Author Jonathan \"JP\" Pokluda remembers his growth to adulthood and the many mistakes he made along the way. After chasing the American Dream, Pokluda tells how he found the key to real purpose and joy.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-02-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As a young adult, JP Pokluda got invited to church; and then from there, got invited to a small group meeting. He said, for him, it was like walking into a completely different universe.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> These people were so different; you know? They had never partied like us. They were never lost in the world, like we were. They were raised in the church; they knew God\u2019s Word.\n\nI can remember sitting with them; and I would ask a question\u2014and like about materialism. They\u2019d say, \u201cWell, hey, turn to Luke 18.\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cHow do you know what\u2019s in Luke 18?! What?! Do you guys know what\u2019s in this book? Are you serious?\u201d\u2014like, \u201cWho knows what\u2019s in the Bible?\u201d They were like: \u201cYes; we read it. We study it. We apply it to our lives.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Getting his spiritual house in order was one of the first steps JP Pokluda took on his path to growing up and becoming a real adult. He\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\nAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019m guessing there are going to be a lot of moms and dads, who are listening, who are going to be going: \u201cYes, yes! You tell them! That\u2019s right! Say it again,\u201d because we\u2019re going to be talking about the emerging generation and their need to kind of step into adulthood; right?\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019m looking forward to it. I want to tell my kids, \u201cTune in.\u201d [Laughter]I know they are\n\n30 years old; but I\u2019m still like, \u201cI mean, this is a great, great topic.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think parents will be sharing this with a lot of their kids.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; JP Pokluda joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. JP, welcome.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Hey; thanks for having me. That\u2019s why I\u2019m here\u2014bad cop. Good cop\/bad cop\u2014I\u2019ll be the bad cop. [Laughter]\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And that might be the deepest voice that I\u2019ve heard in this studio; that\u2019s awesome.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and tallest person.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When your voice changed in high school\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I\u2019m still waiting for it to change, actually. [Laughter] This is how it sounded out of the womb.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> JP is a pastor in Waco, Texas. Harris Creek is the church where he pastors. He is married; father of three kids.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve worked with young people\/with young singles through a ministry called The Porch that was a part of Watermark and is, now, in churches all across the country. What are your observations about this generation?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I\u2019ve watched tens of thousands of the lives of young adults. Just so much of ministry is pattern recognition\u2014like you\u2019re just seeing people make choices; and you get to see which of those choices turn out well and which of them don\u2019t turn out well. Then that just gives credibility to God\u2019s Word; because then you start to see: \u201cOh, when they go and live according to God\u2019s Word, it leads to life. When they don\u2019t, it leads to death.\u201d\n\nI just started writing down some of those patterns, Bob. Over time, it became a book; or at least, I had ten chapters there. I was like, \u201cOkay; there\/here\u2019s something that I think would be helpful.\u201d That was the big heart behind writing <em>Welcome to Adulting<\/em>\u2014is just: \u201cHey; I want to create a resource that would be helpful to young people transition to adulthood.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It sounds like there must be a real need of young adults\u2014and maybe, it\u2019s not just young adults\u2014needing to know how to grow up. Is that what you found out?\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cThat\u2019s what adulting is.\u201d What in the world would draw that many people to what you\u2019re having to say?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Well, we have the best news in town; you know? Not to be clich\u00e9 or trite, but I\u2019m telling people how they can live forever. It was interesting; because everyone was saying: \u201cHey, the Millennials are leaving the church in droves.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; right.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> \u201cYoung adults don\u2019t want church.\u201d That just was not our experience. I think what has happened in the church world is\u2014 we stopped calling them to something. We effort-ed to reach them by the wrong means. We lowered the bar and said, \u201cWell, if you\u2019ll just show up for an hour, we won\u2019t ask much of you.\u201d\n\nYoung adults\u2014they want to be called to something. Jesus says, \u201cCome and die.\u201d That was His effective way to reach them\u2014is: \u201cHey; follow Me. Take up your cross and follow Me.\u201d When we started coming at them with the big ask, saying: \u201cHey; come and be a part of this movement; and live according to what God says; and study Him; and love Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength,\u201d they really responded to it.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This issue of faith and how that fits into adulting is something you understand, firsthand, because you were an adolescent, well passed your teen years; weren\u2019t you?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes; I was raised in the church; and so grew up going to church multiple times a week; went to a parochial school\/a church school for nine years. Really, my theology was that God was this Sheriff in the sky that was going to catch me doing something wrong.\n\nWhen I went to college, I didn\u2019t have <em>any<\/em> of the maturity that you need to go to college with. All of these things I promised I would never do\u2014I did in epic proportions, which looked like girls, sex, and eventually drugs and alcohol, and the party, and all of that. I\u2019m running from God. I don\u2019t want to face God, because He\u2019s the Sheriff. I don\u2019t want to face the Sheriff. I don\u2019t want anything to do with Him for that season of my life.\n\nI created some really, really bad habits for myself. I remember laying in my on-campus apartment, in my twin-sized bed, saying my prayers. All by myself, I just started weeping violently\/just crying hysterically. Then I knew something was wrong. You know, I didn\u2019t know if it was the Holy Spirit, or guilt, or what it was\u2014I didn\u2019t have a category for it\u2014but I reached out to someone the next day. I just said, \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014and I just confessed my sins. Honestly, I didn\u2019t know what else to do\u2014I said: \u201cHey; this is everything I\u2019ve done. What\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d\n\nThey gave me some really terrible advice; they said: \u201cWell, that\u2019s just college. That\u2019s just what you do. You just kind of sow your wild oats; and after college, you get right with God. You figure it out; you know? You kind of come back to Him. He\u2019ll be there, waiting on you.\u201d\n\nI was like: \u201cGreat! That\u2019s what I\u2019ll do.\u201d That\u2019s what I did; I continued those things in epic proportion. I wish they would have told me is that I was creating some habits and stepping in some traps that I wasn\u2019t going to get out of easily. In fact, I put myself in quite the cage by the time that I had graduated college.\n\nI, then, moved to Dallas, Texas. I was kind of everything wrong with Dallas in one person\u2014[Laughter]\u2014was pretentious; I wanted to be a millionaire before I was 30. I landed this job in corporate America. I was climbing the corporate ladder. I got a promotion; I had the Jaguar S-Type, and the penthouse condo, and different watches for different days of the week, and different suits.\n\nNow, I\u2019ve just replaced vices\u2014still have a really healthy addiction to pornography. I\u2019m at this club one night, and I see this girl that I knew from college. I was like: \u201cHey; what are you doing this weekend?\u201d She said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to check out this church tomorrow.\u201d I said, \u201cCool; pick me up\u201d; you know? We just\u2014no big deal\u2014\u201cHey, pick me up. Yes; church\u2014that\u2019s good.\u201d\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Had you been to church much in that time?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I would go\u2014you know, Ann, I would go sometimes; and I would just sit in the back. I would daydream for an hour, kind of paying a penance for my sins; you know?\u2014just trying to get right with God. I was bored out of my mind; I wasn\u2019t listening to anything. I didn\u2019t know anybody. I would just was kind of sneak in the back and then sneak out afterwards.\n\nShe picks me up; she takes me. I went, hung over. I sat in the back row; I smelled like smoke from the night before. I began to wrestle with: \u201cAlright; what do I believe about God?\u201d I\u2019ve <em>always<\/em> called myself a Christian. If you\u2019d have asked me, I would have said: \u2018Yes! I\u2019m a Christian. I\u2019m an American, you know; sure, a Christian,\u201d\u2014whatnot\/whatever. But I was like: \u201cOkay; what do I really believe is going to happen to me when I die? What do I really believe about God?\u201d\n\nI was probably, at best, agnostic. I believed there is a God; but I don\u2019t know who He is\u2014and really thought, \u201cWhat are the odds I\u2019d be born to the right country?\u201d\u2014like: \u201cIf I was born in India, I\u2019d be Hindu. If I was born in China, I\u2019d be Buddhist. If I was born in Iran, I\u2019d be Muslim. If I was born in Israel, I might be Jewish. So, what are the odds I\u2019d be born to the right country\/to the right God?\u201d\n\nI bought a book on world religions; I started reading up. I was really blown away that, in the Quran, Jesus is Isa. The Hindus are open to worshipping Jesus, and other religions would acknowledge Him. Somehow, this carpenter from Bethlehem\u2014a town that no one would have ever heard of except He was born there\u2014reset the calendar, that we started counting over again.\n\nThis was blowing my mind that I didn\u2019t just have to take a step of faith but that there was actually evidence to support this narrative that this man named Jesus lived, and He died, and He rose from the grave. There, as a 20-something, I placed my faith in Jesus Christ, really, for the first time after a lifetime of being in church\u2014all kinds of church\u2014Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist\u2014all sorts of denominations. I came to this place, where I really believe that Jesus died for me. I really believe that God raised Him from the dead; I really believe that He lives with me and will influence me towards things that lead to life. Everything in my life changed.\n\nThat\u2019s why I\u2019m so passionate to call young adults to <em>Christ<\/em>\u2014not to church and not to, you know, memorizing some Scriptures or anything\u2014but really to have a relationship with Jesus, and let Him be Lord of your life, and to know Him, and to believe that His instruction leads to life\u2014that He\u2019s not trying to rip you off\u2014but He\u2019s trying to set you free.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking of people I know\u2014in their 40s, 50s, 60s\u2014who have been successful in a lot of ventures in life but have never had this transformation\/this conversion that you are talking about. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cHave they ever adulted?\u201d\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jesus said, \u201cI\u2019ve come that you might have\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> \u2014\u201clife.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201clife\u2014\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201clife.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand have it abundantly.\u201d They\u2019ve had life, but have they had it abundantly?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Right.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Have they understood there is a difference between what you\u2019re doing and what you were created to do? Adulting is stepping into: \u201cThis is what life is all about in the first place,\u201d and realigning yourself in that direction.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes; you know, Jim Collins says, \u201cThe enemy of great is good\u2014being good enough.\u201d I think the enemy of having an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ is thinking that you do; you know? Having enough of something\u2014like I said\u2014I said my prayers at night. My entire life, I would go to church; my entire life, thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s what it means to be a Christian.\u201d Then it was redefined for me.\n\nI would hear people say things like, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to have a relationship with Jesus.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cThey are just saying that\u201d; you know? \u201cThat\u2019s just something people say\u201d; but then, when it happened in my life, it changed.\n\nThe story that I heard one Sunday was about a horse. It was about a wild stallion. I don\u2019t know if you think it\u2019s a lame illustration or not, but the Holy Spirit used it to change my life. This horse just wanted to be free. In its pursuit of freedom, he had to hunt for food, and hunt for water, and find shelter from the elements. All of these local farmers and villagers wanted to capture this horse and take him home as their own; but he was like, \u201cNo; I want to be free.\u201d I resonated with that\u2014like, \u201cI want to be free.\u201d\n\nOne day, this local farmer successfully captured this horse, took him home, provided for him, loved him, cared for him. Eventually, broke him, was able to ride him. In riding him, would lead him to food, and lead him to water, and provide shelter for him. It was this line: \u201cIt wasn\u2019t until he was fully submissive to his master that he truly experienced freedom for the first time.\u201d\n\nIt hit me; I realized: \u201cMan, if there is a God, and He created <em>everything<\/em>, and He formed me in my mother\u2019s womb, and He knows how many hairs are on my head, then He\u2019s got a plan for my life. Why am I trying so hard to drive, and to be in control, and to be ruler of my own life? Why don\u2019t I yield everything to Him?\u201d This is the paradox of the Christian faith\u2014that victory comes through surrender or submission, and freedom comes through surrender. You know, this is what we live.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had to have somebody step into your life, at some point in the midst of this, and kind of help guide you. I mean, I\u2019m sure the sermons you were hearing on Sunday morning or whatever was causing you to think; but you had to connect with somebody, along the way, who was able to say, \u201cLet me help walk you through this path\u201d; didn\u2019t you?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t for a while. I would sit there, and I would think. I wouldn\u2019t leave the church; I would sit in the parking lot and just cry. I was just really emotional at this time for some reason. The Holy Spirit was doing a work. I would wrestle with, \u201cWhat do I believe is true?\u201d and feel guilty for, you know, my sins. Then, at some point in this journey, I would invite others. My friends started going with me: \u201cHey; you\u2019ve got to come see this church\u201d; you know?\n\nAt some point, I said, \u201cYou know, I should join this church.\u201d It was a big church, and it was growing. It was early on; it was a growing church. At some point in the journey, I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to join.\u201d I went through the membership class, and the guy that was teaching the class\u2014he would say all of these Scriptures from memory. He would just talk about God\u2019s Word, and you could tell that he <em>loved<\/em> God.\n\nIt was our little group\u2014we had three of us that were going through this class together. We went to him and said, \u201cHey; would you teach us the Bible?\u201d We were thinking he was going to say: \u201cNah; I\u2019m busy. I can\u2019t do that\u201d; but he was like: \u201cAre you kidding? Sure! Yes! Let\u2019s go. When? How about Thursday at 7 am?\u201d \u201cAwesome.\u201d We would sit down, and he would open it up. He went, \u201cGenesis 1:1,\u201d\u2014he read it, and we\u2019d talk about it. \u201cGenesis 1:2,\u201d\u2014he\u2019d read it, and we\u2019d talk about it. We just did that. I think we made it to Genesis, Chapter 7, but it was\u2014discipleship was happening.\n\nThis guy was just like, \u201cYes; come with me.\u201d He would invite us over, and we would hang out with his family and have pizza. He had answers from the Scriptures. When he didn\u2019t, he would give us resources to help us find those answers. I didn\u2019t know\u2014you know, when you\u2019re growing, you don\u2019t feel like you\u2019re growing; but God was growing us and growing me.\n\n<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What kind of transformations started happening in your life?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Some things happened really fast. Some things died really slow, like pornography. That\u2019s one that: \u201cOh, I wish I didn\u2019t have those mental images in my mind,\u201d \u201cI wish hadn\u2019t experienced that,\u201d \u201cI wish I didn\u2019t require so much healing,\u201d \u201cI wish I would have learned to date better so that I could be married better. Now, I\u2019m stuck in a relationship.\u201d\n\nWell, eventually\u2014that\u2019s kind of the next season\u2014is I got married. I didn\u2019t know how to be married; but that happened a little slower and really took some intentional people around me: holding me accountable\/daily prayer. I mean, recovery is the word I would use for today; I didn\u2019t have that word then.\n\nI liken it to a friend, who enlisted. He became a Navy SEAL. Everything in his life changed. When I would talk to him, he would speak differently. He was like, \u201cYes; can I call you back at 0300?\u201d \u201cRoger\u201d; you know? [Laughter] I\u2019m like: \u201cWho\u2019s Roger? What are you talking about? This is JP.\u201d [Laughter] He\u2019d have different clothes, and they told him where he was going to live. He had a different mission, and he ran with different people. Everything changed when he enlisted.\n\nThat\u2019s really what happened to me\u2014is who I hung out with changed, what I did for fun changed, the way I dated changed, the way I talked changed, the way I worked changed. Really, my purpose in life changed. It was like the scales had fallen from my eyes. I thought: \u201cIf there is a heaven and an eternity, and I\u2019m going to be somewhere forever, and there\u2019s a God, and I\u2019m just here for a little while\u2014relatively speaking, I\u2019m here for but a vapor\u2014then what else am I going to live for other than Jesus? I just need to tell <em>everyone<\/em> about this Jesus.\u201d So that\u2014like my whole life\u2019s trajectory changed.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m sitting here, thinking about 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul says, \u201cWhen I was a child\u201d\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes\u2014\u201cwalked like a child, thought like a child.\u201d\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut when I became a man, I gave up childish things.\u201d\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking about your book, <em>Welcome to Adulting<\/em>. To become a mature person, the faith aspect of life has got to be something you wrestle with and something you ultimately surrender to. Otherwise, you are still a child at some level; aren\u2019t you? No matter how well life is wired together for you in every other area\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014you\u2019re still a kid if you\u2019re not following God.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I think the context of that chapter is so key to wrap up there\u2014is you don\u2019t know how to love. You can\u2019t love yourself; you can\u2019t love others. You can\u2019t love God rightfully if you don\u2019t have faith where it goes. He talks about the motive of love, and you\u2019re but a clanging symbol; you\u2019re noise. You can run game; you can talk to people. You can try to get the attention of someone from the opposite sex; but you can\u2019t really love as God has called us to until we have a right understanding of who He is and what He\u2019s done for us.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s so important\u2014it\u2019s a right understanding of who He is; a right understanding of our own condition\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and our need for Him. I see a lot of people today who don\u2019t understand the depth of their sin.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They see sin as bad habits; they don\u2019t see sin as rebellion against God. If you keep running from God, you\u2019ll never get to adulting the way you\u2019re talking about people getting to adulting.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> No one ever gets away with sin. I think that\u2019s the lie from the enemy\u2014is I think we can think, \u201cHey; I\u2019ll escape the consequences.\u201d\n\nWhen Monica, my wife, and I got married, Bob, we had become Christians. We cut out all the physical stuff; we said, \u201cAlright; God is ruler of our lives.\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cWell, this isn\u2019t a lot of fun. We should get married.\u201d [Laughter] We got married; and the guy said, you know, \u201cI now pronounce you husband and wife.\u201d\n\nI walked her down the aisle. In the foyer of the chapel, where we were\/the foyer of the church, I held her in my arms\u2014my new wife\u2014and I prayed as the first act of us being married. I prayed\/I said: \u201cLord, thank You so much for allowing me to escape the consequences of my sin.\u201d Specifically, I was thinking of my sexual sin; I was thinking: \u201cI don\u2019t have children out-of-wedlock. I don\u2019t have some psycho ex-girlfriend wanting to kill me outside. I made it. I got away with it.\u201d Then\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How long did that last?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes; so year one was the honeymoon; it was great. It was all like, \u201cThis is amazing.\u201d Then year two hit; and I realize, \u201cI have no idea how to be in a monogamous relationship with a woman.\u201d All of a sudden, I feel trapped: \u201cI don\u2019t know how to lay my life down for her as Christ loved the church. I don\u2019t know how to do these things. I don\u2019t think I want to be here.\u201d She\u2019s like, \u201cI don\u2019t think I want to be here.\u201d\n\nSo, now, we\u2019re stuck in this union\u2014love or not\u2014we don\u2019t like each other very much. I\u2019ve got these addictions that I don\u2019t know what to do with\u2014you know?\u2014that I\u2019m hiding from people. I\u2019m thinking, \u201cOkay; I want to look at pornography.\u201d I\u2019ve heard people say, \u201cI\u2019ll struggle with pornography until I get married.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat a joke!\u201d I will tell you: \u201cI\u2019ve never met anybody with marriage problems. I only meet people with single-people problems they brought into marriage\u2014the problems they never dealt with before marriage.\u201d That was <em>me<\/em>, and I needed help.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So what did you do?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> I turned to the church.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes; that same guy that said, \u201cTurn to Genesis 1:1,\u201d\u2014I called him up one day. I was just like: \u201cHey; here\u2019s what\u2019s going on. Man, marriage\u2014this is for the birds. It\u2019s really hard. I don\u2019t know that I want to be this. I\u2019m having just\u2014we\u2019re just struggling all the time. She wants to start a family. I\u2019m like, \u2018I don\u2019t even know if we should stay together.\u2019\u201d\n\nHe didn\u2019t sound the alarm. He wasn\u2019t concerned; you know? He just really calmly said: \u201cOkay; listen. Hey; what do you believe is true about God? Why do you think He created marriage? Hey; what do you think He wants for you today in this situation?\u201d I would say some things. \u201cI don\u2019t know if that\u2019s what He wants. Why don\u2019t we read this?\u201d He would direct me to a Scripture. It wasn\u2019t one conversation and done. I called him again; I called him again; I called him again\u2014just kept putting the train back on the tracks, and we kept moving forward.\n\nOne thing that happened in that time is we got plugged into a small group that I didn\u2019t want to go to. These couples came around us, and these people were <em>so different<\/em>. They had never partied like us. They were never lost in the world like we were. They were raised in the church; they knew God\u2019s Word.\n\nI can remember sitting with them\u2014one, I remember calling Monica and saying: \u201cI\u2019m never going back to that. That was fine, but I\u2019ve got nothing in common with them\u201d; but I went back. I kept going back, and I kept going back. I would ask a question about materialism. They would say, \u201cWell, hey; turn to Luke 18.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cHow do you know what\u2019s in Luke 18?\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWhat? You guys know what\u2019s in this book? Are you serious?\u201d Like, \u201cWho knows what\u2019s in the Bible?\u201d They\u2019re like: \u201cYes; we read it. We study it. We apply it to our lives.\u201d They just kept pointing me back to that. It was really fun\u2014just the journey into ministry; then, five years later, those guys walked alongside of us.\n\nOne of them\u2014we recently moved to Waco, and one of those families\u2014those guys I had nothing in common with\u2014they pulled their kids out of school and actually moved with us\u2014\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> \u2014just kind of an amazing punchline.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I can hear a lot of parents going, \u201cI think my kids need to see a difference between showing up at church and having a real, authentic relationship with Jesus.\u201d I\u2019m wondering how many parents, themselves\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I was thinking, Bob. I was thinking: \u201cSomeone is listening right now, and what they really need, obviously, is Jesus\u2014center\/foundation.\u201d What you just shared\u2014so many\u2014I mean, I\u2019m a pastor; I <em>know<\/em> the value of small groups. I know how many people in our church just sort of say: \u201cYes; that\u2019s nice,\u201d \u201cYes; someday\u201d; and they don\u2019t step into. That changed your life\u2014\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014having somebody to walk in front of you, beside you; now, behind you.\n\nI would say to a listener, right now: \u201cToday is your day to get in a group. Today is the day to find out\u2014I\u2019ve got to find community.\u201d We\u2019re going to talk about that further; but you know, adulting like a boss\u2014you know one of your chapters is about community and friendship, and that changed your life.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m not sure you\u2019re married without that; right?\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> As much as anything other than Jesus changed my life\u2014\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>JP:<\/strong> \u2014getting plugged into a community group changed my life. To the parents that are saying, \u201cHey\u201d\u2014anyone who feels right now\u2014\u201cYes, my kid needs to grow up. They need to get this,\u201d\u2014the number one way kids will get this\u2014even adult kids\u2014is through examples.\n\nWhen all of this happened in my life, I did remember the reality that I <em>never<\/em> was up before my mom. She was always up before me, by a lamp, reading the Word of God. There are those memories\u2014like are seared in my mind\u2014that when I would go to tell them, \u201cGoodnight,\u201d my dad was bedside, on his knees, saying his prayers. So, there is something about those images that stayed with me that, after I had gone my prodigal ways, that when I was ready to come back to God, there was something there that was like: \u201cWait a minute! Well, if that\u2019s where they turned, then, maybe, that\u2019s where I need to turn.\u201d\n\n<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\n<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking there may be a lot of moms and dads\u2014or for that matter, just people in the church, who see younger people and say, \u201cCould we go through a book together?\u201d\u2014get a copy of JP\u2019s book, <em>Welcome to Adulting: Navigating Faith, Friendship, Finances, and the Future<\/em>, and let this book be the set-up to the conversations you will have as you go through these chapters. Those conversations, your experience\u2014the mistakes you\u2019ve made\u2014are going to be transformative in the lives of young people, who are around you as you walk through this.\n\nWe\u2019ve got copies of JP\u2019s book, <em>Welcome to Adulting<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Our phone number is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Get a copy of JP Pokluda\u2019s book, <em>Welcome to Adulting: Navigating Faith, Friendship, Finances, and the Future<\/em>; either order online or give us a call.\n\nBy the way, with this being Valentine\u2019s week, we\u2019d like to invite you to take a little assessment and see how your relationship\/how your marriage is doing. Over the years, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we have come to recognize that there are five key areas where marriages need to be functional\u2014you need to be doing well in these areas for your relationship to be doing well. We\u2019ve put together an assessment that you can take online. You can answer a couple of dozen questions; and at the end, it will help you evaluate areas where your marriage is thriving and areas that might be some weak spots.\n\nIf you\u2019ve got some weak spots in some areas, we\u2019ve got recommendations for podcasts you can listen to, articles you can read, things we can offer you to help your marriage\/your relationship grow. All of this is free. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and take the online assessment. Look for the link that says, \u201cLove That Lasts\u201d; and the assessment is right there. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and begin working on building a stronger marriage today.\n\nAnd then be sure to join us back tomorrow. JP Pokluda is going to be here again. We\u2019re going to continue talking about the transition from our teen years into adulthood and what that looks like in the areas of finances and our careers\/our jobs. We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\nI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\n<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\n<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\nWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\nCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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