{"id":305727,"date":"2020-02-04T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-02-04T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-is-discernment\/"},"modified":"2020-02-04T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-02-04T11:00:04","slug":"what-is-discernment","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-discernment\/","title":{"rendered":"What is Discernment?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author Hannah Anderson explains what it means to be discerning and how to pursue the good in others even while disagreeing with them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-02-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:41","filesize":"26.27M","filesize_raw":"27546417","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4403,6382,6820],"podcast_series":[8336],"cwp_profile":[8812],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305727","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-bible-study","tag-discernment","tag-phillipans-4","podcast_series-all-thats-good","cwp_profile-hannah-anderson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305727\/what-is-discernment","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305727\/what-is-discernment","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Pm6mIVMUxF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-discernment\/\">What is Discernment?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-is-discernment\/embed\/#?secret=Pm6mIVMUxF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What is Discernment?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Pm6mIVMUxF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Author Hannah Anderson explains what it means to be discerning and how to pursue the good in others even while disagreeing with them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-02-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As parents, we often spend a lot of time telling our kids what to stay away from. Hannah Anderson says we should be spending, at least, as much time pointing our kids in the direction of things worth pursuing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> If I try to establish categories of wrong without my children understanding, \u201cThis is what goodness looks like,\u201d I\u2019m not going to equip them beyond that specific issue. What I want my children to be able to do is understand what \u201cthe good life\u201d looks like as God ordained it to flourish. When that\u2019s the standard, they\u2019ll know the counterfeit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, February 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Do your kids know what is good, what is pure, what is right, what is noble? Do they know how to think on those things? We\u2019re going to hear more about that today from Hannah Anderson. Stay tuned. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. It occurs to me that we\u2019re having a discussion this week on the subject of discernment, and we kind of dove into it without defining what it means to be discerning. We kind of talked around it, but not a hard definition. Maybe, we can get our guest to help us with that. Hannah Anderson is joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Great to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hannah is an author; she is a speaker; a blogger. In fact, she blogs at SometimesALight.com. We\u2019ve got a link to that on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, and she\u2014you do a podcast; what\u2019s the podcast called? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> I do; <em>Persuasion<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; weekly? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> We\u2019ve moved to series. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s periodically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Periodic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s as Hannah has time to do it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> That is <em>absolutely<\/em> correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> She\u2019s a mom; she\u2019s got kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> She\u2019s got three kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She\u2019s a wife and a mom\u2014got plenty going on. She\u2019s written a book on the subject of discernment, which is called <em>All That\u2019s Good<\/em>, which is what we\u2019re talking about this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you have a working definition of what discernment is? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> I do: \u201cDiscernment is knowing the difference between good and evil so that you can choose the good.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the difference, there, is a lot of us will understand discernment as knowing the difference between what\u2019s bad and good. We may reach that level of awareness, where we\u2019ve moved passed a purely negative disposition, where we\u2019re just trying to point out what\u2019s bad. We\u2019ve grown in our awareness that we\u2019re trying to sort through good and evil; but it\u2019s that second half of action moving toward goodness that, I think, for me, was key to making discernment something that went beyond just thinking about things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We were talking about this earlier. Dave was talking about the importance of love being integrated in with our discernment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That wasn\u2019t my idea, by the way. [Laughter] That came from God; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Philippians, Chapter 1, talks about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve heard people who think of discernment as primarily a critical skill\u2014it\u2019s where you point out what\u2019s wrong with everybody else. When you say, \u201cYou\u2019re not being very charitable,\u201d\/\u201cYou\u2019re not being very loving,\u201d they will say: \u201cThis is the most loving thing I can do. If I point out what\u2019s wrong, I\u2019m being loving, so I\u2019m speaking the truth in love.\u201d Is pointing out error the same as being loving? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> You know, I <em>love<\/em> how Jesus handles this. People will very quickly jump to Christ\u2019s words about \u201cJudge not lest you be judged\u201d; but there is this statement of judge\u2014righteous judgment. What we are to do, as we\u2019re discerning and we\u2019re evaluating, is to judge the way God would judge; or as Philippians 2 puts it: \u201cWe are to have the mind of Christ.\u201d This is what Philippians 2 says\u2014is that the way we move through the world would be humble as Christ is humble, but we would also think as He thinks about a situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we are called upon to call out something as not good, the goal is not that alone. The goal is always for healing and reconciliation. If your discernment stops with, \u201cI\u2019m calling you out, and I\u2019m doing that out of love,\u201d\u2014no, that\u2019s not discernment; because you may have done the first thing, which is to separate good and evil; but you have not have done the second step, which is to pursue good and to pursue the wholeness and the well-being of the person with whom you are engaging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve quoted this before, but it\u2019s because it\u2019s one of those verses I have to keep coming back to. It\u2019s the instruction that Paul gives to Timothy in 2 Timothy, where he says, \u201cThe Lord\u2019s servant must not be quarrelsome.\u201d I think just that verse alone\u2014make that your posted tweet on Twitter: \u201cThe Lord\u2019s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to all, patiently enduring evil in hopes that you might lead some to repentance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what\u2019s missing in this whole conversation about right and wrong and good and evil\u2014is this idea that we can hold to truth and still be patient, and still be kind, and still not be quarrelsome. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Absolutely. I think, perhaps, we have a somewhat emaciated view of truth if we think about it as just getting the question right on the test; right? If we think about truth as \u201cDid I get the answers right?\u201d we don\u2019t understand the <em>purpose<\/em> of truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s fascinating about Paul calling us to whatever is true\u2014that\u2019s the first in the list in Philippians 4:8,9\u2014is that truth establishes a common point, where we all can live in unity; because calling people to truth is, not just calling them to agree with your opinion; it\u2019s calling them to a reality that is bigger than any of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>What truth does\u2014especially an emphasis on objective truth, not subjective truth found in our own opinions or our own emotions, but objective truth outside of us, where we come together around shared fact and shared reality\u2014it actually unites us. I think all of us living in this very fragmented age want that; we want the unity that we feel we\u2019ve lost. We want to be able to know that we share certain basic values and realities in common. I don\u2019t think, though, that we would think truth would be the way to get that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m in a relationship\u2014with people in my church, or a couple of my best friends, or you can apply it your spouse and your marriage\u2014and I need to speak the truth in love: Ephesians 4:15. I\u2019m in a relationship\u2014I love my spouse; I love my best friend\u2014but there is a truth\u2014I should say that I need to hear, but I don\u2019t want to hear it; I want <em>them<\/em> to hear it\u2014so I have some discernment. Walk us through: \u201cHow do I do this well, in love, in a way that brings unity and not division?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Well, for me personally, the first thing I have to do is make sure that I am humbled before the Lord before I approach anyone else. Practically speaking, what that means is coming with an attitude that recognizes the limits of my knowledge. Having a humble attitude before the Lord means saying: \u201cYou, Lord, know everything. I feel like I might have insight on this particular question. I feel like You\u2019ve revealed something that I may need to speak the truth about\u201d; but I\u2019m moving into that with the awareness that I could absolutely be wrong. If you don\u2019t <em>start<\/em> with that, you should not start at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Once you\u2019ve kind of established that\u2014and you\u2019ve prayed and you feel that, \u201cYes; the Spirit is leading you to continue to approach this conversation,\u201d\u2014one way, with my husband, that we try\u2014[Laughter]\u2014we try on our good days; you know?\u2014is to approach it this way: \u201cHoney, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m understanding this correctly; but I feel like this is happening\u2026\u201d; rather than coming to him and saying: \u201cYou\u2019re doing this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cand you need to stop,\u201d and \u201cThis is where you\u2019re wrong\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are some folks, who hear us talking about humility in relation to truth, and they will go: \u201cWell, humility puts truth out of reach. If you\u2019re so humble as to say, \u2018Well, I could be wrong,\u2019 and you\u2019re saying that about everything; then you can never know truth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> And that\u2019s a really legitimate kind of pushback, and it\u2019s a legitimate question; because we do have this approach to truth that says, \u201cIt\u2019s so subjective that we can\u2019t establish any sense of shared objective truth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I say, \u201cWe approach truth with humility,\u201d we\u2019re talking about the individualist tendency that, \u201cI know truth,\u201d which ironically is a subjective\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014conclusion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014conclusion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> It absolutely is. So when I approach truth, what I am looking for\u2014and the way the Scripture presents this question\u2014is I perceive something to be true. I do doubt my own perception to a degree; but I come to the Scripture; I come to other believers in the body of Christ, who either confirm or to correct. That\u2019s the difference between saying, \u201cI\u2019m humble in my handling of the truth.\u201d We\u2019re not saying there isn\u2019t truth; but that I, myself, alone cannot establish reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you say, \u201cGo to the church,\u201d it\u2019s your local congregation first; but it\u2019s the church universal. It\u2019s the church from 20 centuries of church. It\u2019s inviting in the wisdom of all of God\u2019s people throughout time so that we learn what truth is by seeing what those who have gone before us learned and understood; and then humbling ourselves and recognizing, just because we think this is right in 21<sup>st<\/sup> century America, doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s a universal truth. The broader church, on all continents through all time, can help inform and help us understand what truth is so that we can focus on what is really true, not just what\u2019s culturally true in our moment. That\u2019s so good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Fascinating. Let\u2019s go to what is honorable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> I think one of the things that we struggle with in the digital age is knowing who to give honor to and what not to give honor to. There are some things that we know by their goodness\u2014they reflect the character of God, and they should be lifted up and celebrated. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens in the digital age is that celebrity becomes something of an end of itself. You become famous, not because you\u2019ve done anything or there\u2019s any inherent goodness in the work that you are doing, but because you have three million followers. We live in an age where celebrity for the sake of celebrity is what gets honor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we\u2019re online, particularly, and we\u2019re trying to decide, \u201cIs this a person or a voice that should be honored and elevated?\u201d I\u2019m seeking honor: \u201cWell, what are things worth honoring?\u201d \u201cWell, they are the things that God honors. Things that I should honor are the things that God honors. Are those things present in this voice or in this ministry? If they are not, I don\u2019t care how many million followers you have. I should not honor and raise that up as something worth honoring.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>What\u2019s fascinating about what God honors\u2014the Scripture tells us that it is often counter to what we would honor. We honor wealth; we honor power; we honor privilege. The Scripture tells us that God has taken the low and the weak things of the world so that <em>He<\/em> might be honored. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And that\u2019s hard, especially with kids growing up, because, culturally speaking, they are worshipping athletes, and actresses, and actors. They are all a different array of things that we honor and our kids and culture honor. How did you do that with your kids?\u2014to get them to be discerning and honoring to what God elevates. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Well, very practically, I think for us, it became explaining them to why we place our time and our money in different spaces; because, really, what you give your money to\/what you give your attention to is what you are honoring. Our kids would grow up, recognizing that our family was spending Sunday at church when their friends were, maybe, doing something else. We would have to say, \u201cWe are choosing to honor\/we are choosing to give attention and glory to the things that God gives attention, and honor, and glory to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019d love to have you talk to my congregation right now. I\u2019m thinking\u2014and I\u2019m being facetious a little bit\u2014but it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay; so what I honor\u201d\u2014and you use the example of Sunday morning. So many families today\u2014and it\u2019s always been true, but it\u2019s really now\u2014they are honoring Sunday morning on a soccer field or a ball diamond. Again, we were a sports family; so I understand that world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would you say to them?\u2014because they are like: \u201cNo, no; this is <em>really<\/em> important. It\u2019s not as important as God and church, but soccer is on Sunday; so we\u2019re going to be there during this season,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019ll get to church when we can.\u201d What would you say? Speak for me on my behalf. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A pastor\u2019s wife\u2014[Laughter]\u2014a pastor\u2019s wife is going to speak to this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> I completely understand the tension. I\u2019ve got kids, who are in sports; I understand the pull. I\u2019m going to come at this a way that I don\u2019t think we normally think about this. We think about it as dueling sport against God\/sport against church. To me, what we\u2019re really dueling with is rest versus continued work. God honors the Sabbath Day as a day of resting from our labors. If your kids are not resting from their labors, they are not honoring what God is honoring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If I were sitting down with a family and talking through this issue with them, trying to give perspective and advice, I would say: \u201cTalk to me about your schedule. Talk to me about your family life. Where is your family resting? Where is your family resting with God\u2019s people?\u201d I think, sometimes, we have this very legalistic approach of: \u201cWell, you need to be at church on Sunday.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014so we guilt them into it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014so we guilt, because it\u2019s that negative disposition: \u201cThis is <em>wrong<\/em>\u2014not to be in church.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say: \u201cWhat\u2019s good? What is goodness for your family is that you would not pack out your children\u2019s schedule so that they don\u2019t even have one day, where they are resting from their labor. For us, Sunday is that day where we rest from our labor; and we rest in the family of God.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Very good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That is good. I\u2019m thinking, as I listen to the conversation, what is honorable simply comes back to: \u201cWhat would Jesus\/what would God say?\u2014\u2018This\u2014I delight in this,\u2019 \u2018I find this commendable,\u2019 \u2018This is something I would affirm.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re stopping to go: \u201cDo I think this is honorable?\u201d\u2014\u201cI\u2019m going to go to this concert,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to watch this movie,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to participate in this activity,\u201d\u2014just to ask: \u201cDo we think\u2014based on what we read in the Bible\/based on what we know about the character and nature of God\/of Jesus\u2014do we think He would go: \u2018I find that to be a commendable thing you\u2019re going to do. That is something I would delight in, Myself, as God. I\u2019d go to that concert, and I would love that concert; because I would love to hear that violin player using their gifts and abilities and that creative expression. I would be delighted at seeing that creativity pour out of that person. That would be an honorable thing\u2019?\u201d\u2014versus that person is going to use their gifting in a dishonoring or a dishonorable way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the point here is\u2014when we think about those things that are honorable, it\u2019s by whose criteria are we basing honor? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> How about this one?\u2014because I was thinking about that example, Bob, and the concert. I\u2019ll switch it to a bar. I coached high school football for 15 years with a bunch of guys, that don\u2019t go to church, at a public high school; my sons went to that high school. One of the things they would do after our games\u2014kids go home; coaches would all go to this\u2014it\u2019s not really a bar; it\u2019s just sort of\u2014but it\u2019s\u2014they\u2019d go get a keg of beer. They\u2019d talk and have a\u2014I\u2019d hear about it on Monday: \u201cHey, you know, we went to RJ\u2019s and\u2014blah, blah.\u201d I never went. I\u2019m the pastor; Christian coach there. I had a buddy with me from my church. He was the special teams coach, so we held each other accountable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, Ann\u2019s dad was there, and he\u2014after the game\u2014we were undefeated that season. He was like, \u201cDon\u2019t you do anything with the coaches afterwards?\u201d I said, \u201cAh, they all sort of go and hang out at this place. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s appropriate for me to go.\u201d He goes, \u201cAren\u2019t you trying to reach them for Jesus?\u201d This is my non-churched, non-Christian father-in-law saying, \u201cDon\u2019t you think it would be better to hang out with those guys and be there with them?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And my dad\u2019s a coach too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. I called up Rob, my buddy; and I said, \u201cLet\u2019s go to RJ\u2019s tonight.\u201d He goes: \u201cWhat?! We\u2019re going to RJ\u2019s?\u201d \u201cYes; let\u2019s go.\u201d We walk in there; and when we\u2014and this is very interesting. We walk in this pub, and all the coaches\u2014probably 12 coaches\u2014stand up and give us a standing ovation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole place is like, \u201cWho are these guys?!\u201d; right? We sit down, and they\u2019ve got their beer; and they are doing their thing. I get a Diet Coke<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and just start hanging out with them; and started doing that after every game and led Jack to Christ in that bar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you could look at it and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not honorable to go to that place\u201d; but my vision was bigger. I\u2019m not going there\u2014I\u2019m not going to drink. I\u2019m going to be very pure in what I do and how I talk. One of the first conversations Jack had with me, at that bar, was: \u201cWhy don\u2019t you ever cuss?\u201d He said, \u201cI\u2019ve never heard you ever one time curse.\u201d I told him why. That led to a conversation; and he\u2019s now just an amazing guy, trying to raise his family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about that\u2014that was, in a sense, could be not honorable; but there was something bigger than that that made it honorable. Am I right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> I think what you described really helps us recognize how Christians could come to this same situation and discern their actions differently\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014which brings up this essential question of: \u201cWhen you\u2019re seeking goodness, and you have been persuaded by the Holy Spirit that goodness would mean going to be with your coaches, maintaining your testimony\u2014but going to be with them in a place that someone else would say: \u2018I can\u2019t do that;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014\u2018I can\u2019t go there,\u2019\u2014what we have now is: \u2018Well, what is goodness?\u2019\u201d\u2014right? So often, we would just throw our hands up and be like, \u201cWell, I guess you can\u2019t know what\u2019s right to do; so there <em>isn\u2019t<\/em> a right\u201d; right? That\u2019s one answer people would give. The other one would be to <em>fight<\/em> over that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014and to say, \u201cMy way is right\u201d; or someone else would say, \u201cNo; my way is right.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s fascinating; that is exactly what Paul presents in Romans 14\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> \u2014where the church was seeking goodness. They were seeking what they believed was true, and honorable, and just, and pure, and lovely; and they were coming to radically different conclusions based on their background, based on different pressure points, based on the fact that some of them had been raised in idol worship. So, now, they say: \u201cI\u2019m not going to have anything to do with meat offered to idols. I will not eat that.\u201d Others were saying: \u201cActually, an idol isn\u2019t anything; it\u2019s not the true God, so we can engage in this practice.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s fascinating is that Paul doesn\u2019t come along and tell them what the \u201cright\u201d thing to do was. He doesn\u2019t say, \u201cWell, actually, this is what you should do in this situation...\u201d Instead, he comes to them and he calls them back to submission to God first and love for each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> It is that sense of pursuing goodness as God leads us to pursue it in our lives\u2014making choices for our families, making choices for our relationships, and recognizing that ultimately what we are discerning is before the Lord and out of love for our brothers. I think, once that positive trajectory of moving toward the goodness of the Lord and moving toward the care of our brothers is in place, we have a great deal of freedom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; at the same time, there is discernment I had to be using. There are other places I would <em>never<\/em> go with those guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> But that was a safe place to say, \u201cI can honor God here, and there is a bigger purpose.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And to ask the question: \u201cIs this honorable?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hannah:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cIs this true?\u201d and \u201cIs this pure?\u201d\u2014and all of the questions there\u2014and seek wisdom from others, with humility, saying, \u201cCoach me on this.\u201d You got wisdom from your father-in-law on this issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo meditate on this\/to think deeply about this\u2014this is where your book, Hannah, is so helpful. I hope our listeners will go online and get a copy of the book, <em>All That\u2019s Good<\/em>, so that we can be changing how we exercise discernment as moms and dads and then helping coach our kids in this area as well by focusing on what is good, and pure, and right, and true, and noble, and all of the things that are talked about in Philippians, Chapter 4, verse 8. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about Hannah\u2019s book, <em>All That\u2019s Good<\/em>. You can order it from us online, or you can call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to order a copy of Hannah Anderson\u2019s book, <em>All That\u2019s Good<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, we are committed, as a ministry, to affectively developing godly marriages and families\u2014that\u2019s our mission\u2014godly marriages and families, who change the world one home at a time. And we want to help your marriage be the marriage God designed it to be\u2014be strong and healthy and full of love and grace for one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver the years, we have there are five key areas in a marriage that determine whether that marriage thrives over the years or whether there are struggles along the way. We\u2019ve developed an online assessment. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, answer a couple of dozen questions, and you\u2019ll get a score that will help you know how your marriage is doing in each of these five key areas. Then in the areas where you need some help, we\u2019ve got resources, articles, podcasts\u2014things we can point you to\u2014to help strengthen you in those areas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s like a tune-up for your marriage, and it\u2019s absolutely free. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for the link that says, \u201cLove that Lasts.\u201d Take the marriage health assessment online; we think you will find it very helpful for your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll join us again tomorrow as we continue to meditate on all that is good. Hannah Anderson will be our guest, again, tomorrow as we talk about discernment. We hope you can be here as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305727","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305727"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305727"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305727"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305727"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305727"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305727"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305727"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}