{"id":305704,"date":"2020-01-24T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-01-24T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/getting-back-on-track\/"},"modified":"2020-01-24T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-01-24T11:00:04","slug":"getting-back-on-track","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-back-on-track\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Back on Track"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>God can raise dead things-Clint and Penny Bragg can vouch for that. Eleven years after their divorce, God brought them back together. The Braggs tell what God had to do in each of them to get to the point of reconciliation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-24.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:10","filesize":"26.7M","filesize_raw":"27997852","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2883,2863],"tags":[6818],"podcast_series":[8333],"cwp_profile":[9393],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305704","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resurrected-marriages","category-saving-a-marriage","tag-marriage-off-course","podcast_series-marriage-off-course","cwp_profile-clint-and-penny-bragg","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305704\/getting-back-on-track","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305704\/getting-back-on-track","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WbZQPCtQWN\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-back-on-track\/\">Getting Back on Track<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-back-on-track\/embed\/#?secret=WbZQPCtQWN\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Getting Back on Track&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WbZQPCtQWN\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because separation and divorce has become more common in our day, Penny Bragg says, \u201cMost of us don\u2019t recognize how traumatic those events ultimately are for both husbands and wives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> A marriage that goes through separation and divorce is like a death. There\u2019s so much grief associated with it, especially when it\u2019s in that place of, \u201cMaybe, it can be reconciled\u201d; it\u2019s not reconciled. Then the person is hopeful it will be reconciled, and then it goes to divorce\u2014the worst thing that they ever wanted: \u201cHow could a marriage come back from divorce?\u201d With all of those emotions and things that drive a person to that place of isolation and pain, it\u2019s not going to be a quick fix. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. If there is any hope or any chance that a marriage that has been broken can be repaired, Clint and Penny Bragg say, \u201cThe hurts from the past have got to be acknowledged and addressed.\u201d We\u2019ll talk more about that with them today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I know most of the time, when you guys are working with couples and a marriage has come to an end, most people are thinking, \u201cWell, that\u2019s it; it\u2019s over\u201d; and most of the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that is it; it is over. But if couples would keep in the back of their mind the option, \u201cWhat if God were to do something to reopen a door?\u201d\u2014maybe, it\u2019s just one of the two that\u2019s keeping that option open\u2014you\u2019ve seen God do a work like that in couples lives, where doors get reopened, and marriages get patched up and healed, and wind up stronger than they ever were; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve seen it. It is the struggle; because you think, when a marriage ends, it\u2019s like a death; and two people\u2014dead people\u2014come to life, not very often; but when Jesus steps in, He is the God of resurrection. It\u2019s <em>possible<\/em>; and absolutely, we\u2019ve seen it. Again, the couple has to make some really hard choices; but God can raise dead things. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful things He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you think is the difference between the couples who get there and the couples who never even consider it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think the biggest difference is where their eyes go. I think a lot of people get out of marriage and they\u2019re divorced; and their eyes instantly go to, \u201cHow can I now find fulfillment?\u201d\u2014many times, they think it\u2019s through another person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then I see a whole other group of people\u2014that their eyes go to Christ, and their walk with God and becoming whole in Him\/in who He says they are. I see those people go <em>deep<\/em> in their walks with God\/in the Word; and He begins to heal them. Those are the ones that we see resurrected marriages happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are not suggesting that it\u2019s easy; you flip a switch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is a lot of hurt; there is a lot of trust\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and there is no guarantee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their pain\u2014all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we\u2019ve seen it happen with couples, who come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway\u2014couples who came because their marriage was hurting\/was in trouble; or couples who came, even after they\u2019ve gotten a divorce, and they are open to the possibility of reconciliation. God does a work in the course of that weekend to get them back on the right track, thinking about remarriage\u2014if they\u2019ve been separated or divorced\u2014or thinking about how they can fix the messes in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I just want to encourage our listeners\u2014you\u2019ve heard us talking about the special offer we\u2019re making this week for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you and your spouse can attend an upcoming getaway\/one of our spring getaways, and you can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; but we need to hear from you today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and take advantage of this pre-season offer; save 50 percent off the regular registration fee and attend an upcoming getaway. The list of locations and dates are all available on the website at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can register online, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to register over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys [Dave and Ann] are going to be speaking at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> in Nashville in March, so if couples live there and want to come see you at the <em>Weekend to Remember\u2014<\/em>Nashville in March. I\u2019m going to be in Orlando in April. Again, we\u2019ve got\u2014we\u2019ve got great couples who speak at these getaways all around the country. Find out how you can attend a getaway and save 50 percent by going to our website today\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m grabbing my briefcase for, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You probably don\u2019t know this, but I carry this in my briefcase. These little pieces of paper are from one of the last <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>s I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> A guy came up to me on Sunday, at the close of the weekend. I was just about ready to close up; I was just\u2014I was on stage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Timer is going down, and you\u2019re going to start in 30 seconds. He goes, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve got to talk to you right now.\u201d I go: \u201cNo; I don\u2019t have time. You see that timer; when it hits zero, I\u2019ve got to speak.\u201d \u201cYes; but I\u2019ve got to tell you this.\u201d He goes\u2014he hands me these papers\u2014he goes, \u201cRip these up.\u201d I go, \u201cWhat are these?\u201d He goes, \u201cThese are my divorce papers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I go, \u201cTell me your story real quick.\u201d I\u2019m not kidding\u2014it was probably more like \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t45 seconds\u2014but yes; he said, \u201cWe were getting a divorce. We came here, last resort. We were going to the attorney tomorrow,\u201d\u2014Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd we brought the papers to have signed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And here they are\u2014\u201cJust because we\u2019re going to finish this thing,\u201d\u2014this was just a gift from somebody\u2014\u201cThis isn\u2019t going to work.\u201d I go\u2014real quick, I go, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes: \u201cNumber one, we can relate to you; you guys struggled like we did. We didn\u2019t think we\u2019d hear from presenters who had struggles, but you guys had struggles. And here is what we couldn\u2019t relate to\u2014you told us, all weekend, the answer is a foundation in Jesus Christ. That, we don\u2019t have\u2014until yesterday morning\u2014surrendered our lives to Christ. We\u2019re going home, and we\u2019re going to make this thing work. Will you rip these up?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI jumped off the stage; and I said, \u201cNo; you rip them up.\u201d [Laughter] So, I\u2019ve got them right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There is the attorney\u2019s name on there, and I\u2019ve kept them in my thing just to remember that God does resurrect dead marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Clint:<\/strong> He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a couple of marriage missionaries joining us this week on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Clint and Penny Bragg. Welcome back, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have written a book called <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em> that is\u2014it\u2019s really not your memoir, although your story is kind of weaved through it. Your marriage got off course because you didn\u2019t address hurt and pain from the past, because you had a superficial relationship with Christ. I think that is important to say\u2014it was a casual relationship with Christ, not a committed relationship with Christ. You were apart for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t11 years before God brought you back together again, and your marriage was reconciled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you\u2019re travelling around to all around the country, in the spring and in the fall, going around and talking to folks about how you can get a marriage that got off course back on course. You\u2019re dealing with people, who have been separated\/who have been divorced. You\u2019re dealing with people who are in isolation, even if they are still married. We were talking about this earlier\u2014couples who are emotionally divorced, even though they are not physically divorced; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Where do you start with them? Do you start by saying, \u201cLet\u2019s get your spiritual life in line\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> You know, actually, we start with the emotional; because a marriage that is unreconciled\u2014that is where you\u2019ve got one spouse in, one spouse out\u2014the emotions are a <em>mess<\/em>. There is like a roller coaster ride. We have found that, unless we validate some of those emotions\u2014and it doesn\u2019t\/it\u2019s not like you\u2019re spending forever, dealing with emotions\u2014but it\u2019s the reason we put it as Chapter Two in the book and, then, we begin talking about some spiritual things\u2014is because the emotions are so out of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Penny, what\u2019s that look like? What do you mean by that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Validating the emotions\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; how do you do it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014a lot of times, is listening, loving, praying: \u201cJust talk with me. Talk with me. Let me just listen and be a good listener to you,\u201d and \u201cThat must be really difficult for you right now,\u201d\u2014listening with compassion. What happens is\u2014emotions can get in such a whirlwind when a marriage is unreconciled that things start to spin out of control. It\u2019s like a hurricane that has gone wild, and you can\u2019t capture it or control it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we can do some validating, first, and acknowledge the fact that: \u201cThis is painful, and you know what? I\u2019m going to walk alongside you in this. I\u2019m going to put my arm around you, or grab your hand. I\u2019m going to listen, and I\u2019m going to love you, and I\u2019m going to pray with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we can, at least, get those things done first, then some of those emotions feel validated by the person in pain; and we can move into that, anchoring spiritual relationship in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you mention in the book that this is like going into the desert\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and it doesn\u2019t go quickly\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014right? You don\u2019t walk through the emotions like in a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You take <em>time<\/em> to allow God to work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving. You mentioned a marriage that goes through separation and divorce is like a death. There are so <em>much<\/em> grief associated with it, especially when it\u2019s in that place of, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s going to be reconciled\u201d; it\u2019s not reconciled. Then the person is hopeful that it will be reconciled; then it goes to divorce\u2014the worst thing that they ever wanted: \u201cHow could a marriage come back from divorce?\u201d With all of those emotions and things that drive a person to that place of isolation and pain, it\u2019s not going to be a quick fix. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to take time; it\u2019s going to take work; it\u2019s going to be that journey through the desert. A lot of times, we want to get out of the hot, sticky desert as soon as we can. I don\u2019t see that in the Bible anywhere, where anybody got out of a desert quickly. If anything, there was a long journey ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I have a friend, who doesn\u2019t like to deal with emotions. Do you get where I\u2019m going? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; if I was that guy, and you wanted to talk about my emotions, I would be quick to say: \u201cOh, they\u2019re not that big a deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe don\u2019t need to talk about them.\u201d What do you do with that person that really does not want to go there to help them get to a place where they can actually get to reconciliation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Clint:<\/strong> I think what I do, with some of the guys who are like that\u2014I say, \u201cGive me \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t90 days. Give me 90 days, where we are going to meet on a regular basis; and let\u2019s talk about different things.\u201d Guess what? We\u2019re going to talk about emotions, whether they know that or not. What we\u2019re going to find out is where they are coming from and where they think they are headed, and try and get them to understand that we need to build this relationship with Christ\u2014a relationship, maybe, they\u2019ve never had before in their life\u2014but you have to do it gently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you give them a 90-day\u2014I\u2019ve had several guys, if you give them 90 days\u2014say: \u201c90 days; I want 90 days from you. You can\u2019t file divorce; you can\u2019t say nasty things on social media. You\u2019ve got to be committed to: \u2018Let\u2019s find out where you\u2019re at. What\u2019s hurting you? What\u2019s going on inside?\u2019 Let\u2019s see if we can\u2019t plot a new course for you and figure out how Christ can heal that part of your body.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> I think, oftentimes, what happens, Dave, is the man who doesn\u2019t want to deal with the emotions\u2014he may be having them, but stuffing them down or something like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> We\u2019ll use something linear, like a timeline, and will start to go through: \u201cMaybe, let\u2019s back up a little bit; let\u2019s back up,\u201d and \u201cWhere did you grow up?\u201d We start going back to go forward. We go back to go forward with them and just kind of getting to know that person a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tClint will meet with a man, one on one, for a period of time, where he and I will meet together with a spouse. We\u2019ll go to the timeline because that helps them sort and sift through, then the emotions end up coming up through the dialogue that we\u2019re having as we go back in time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> So, \u201cWhat\u2019s that timeline look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cWhat does that timeline look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting\u2014Dave and I took a trip with several couples to Israel a couple years ago. And in our time, we explored Israel, which was amazing; but in the evenings, we did a timeline. We did a personal timeline; and when you do that, people can just put down like, \u201cOh, this happened.\u201d There is something that happens when you walk through it; it kind of stirs up emotions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we also had them do a marriage timeline, which was even more interesting; because you go through their journey of their highs and their lows. There is something about that in a group of people that, when we were done with our trip, there was an intimacy in relationships that felt so safe and exposed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which doesn\u2019t feel safe, all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBecause these people know me and, yet, they love me.\u201d Some people, even on our trip, said, \u201cWe don\u2019t want to share it, because people will judge us based on our timeline.\u201d They had some pretty raw, real things in their relationship; but to see others come around them, love them, pray for them, encourage them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014those create lifelong relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, what are the next steps? You kind of go through this timeline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> We do, and we actually get pretty specific. The timeline activity is in <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em>; but we go through\u2014first of all, we look at some of what that person would say are low\u2014not highlights\u2014but lowlights\/things that happened that were negative in their lives. We look at spiritual things, financial things, family, logistics\u2014we go through that. And then, we go back and say, \u201cWhat were the messages that were spoken over you at this time?\u201d If it\u2019s a highlight, they might say, \u201cWell, I found my sense of belonging.\u201d If it\u2019s something that is low and negative, they\u2019ll say, \u201cI was fearful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll go back through, and then we\u2019ll take the Word of God. We\u2019ll go back and take the Word of God and\u2014over those things that are negative\/over those things that have spoken such destruction over their lives\u2014we\u2019ll look at what God\u2019s Word has to say about that. Now, they are digging into the Word of God, and they are going back to that thing: \u201cOkay; let\u2019s take that statement that says, \u2018I\u2019m unwanted.\u2019 What does God say?\u201d We write the Scripture verse there\u2014what God says. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is a process\u2014a long process\u2014and you can go as deep into this timeline activity as you want. There are lots of things that you can do that we kind of outline; but all of it begins to get that person to speak, and to share, and to\u2014there is a verse in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 28 that talks about: \u201cHe who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.\u201d Well, somewhere in that timeline activity, confession happens\u2014and the confession of things that maybe they\u2019ve done that they regret. Un-grieved losses is <em>huge<\/em>. <br><br>When we are working with a spouse, the un-grieved losses are almost unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> When we go through it, they\u2019ll say, like, \u201cWell, my grandfather died here; and then I lost my job,\u201d\u2014and they are just buzzing along the timeline. We\u2019re like: \u201cWhoa. Whoa. Wait just a second. All that happened in 1992? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u201cWow!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, for me, when I had done my timeline, I went to a place where I was\u2014I can\u2019t even remember how old I was\u2014but I\u2019m the youngest of four. I was sharing a story at the dinner table. My dad put his hand out and said: \u201cHey, now is not your time. This is your brother\u2019s time, who is the oldest; it\u2019s not your time to speak.\u201d Well, my thought was, \u201cWhen is my time to speak?\u201d I felt like I was unseen and didn\u2019t and shouldn\u2019t be heard from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happens?\u2014you don\u2019t deal with that; you take that, now, into your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, when Dave is gone, or I\u2019m not important, I\u2019m triggered to say: \u201cYou\u2019re not hearing me! You\u2019re not seeing me!\u201d He\u2019s thinking: \u201cWhy are you reacting so strongly to this?! What is your problem?\u201d The problem stems way back there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do we need counselors to walk us through, or can we do this as lay people with timelines? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Well, we actually train leaders in the church how to do this with couples; because it\u2019s so easy to take a piece of paper; you know? If we have a couple, then we\u2019ve got a wife with a one-color pen; the husband with the other color pen. It can be a <em>great<\/em> interactive activity. If nobody\u2019s around in the room, we use butcher paper so it can be plastered all over the walls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we can go back and look at the redemption. We can take the Word; I mean, this is an interactive piece of healing that you see happen as these things are unpacked\u2014and where the timeline\u2014if it starts with marriage, when we get to go backwards with a couple into childhood\u2014her childhood\/his childhood\u2014and we get to address some of those issues. Go through the marriage, and then we get to tape a big piece of paper to the\u2014let\u2019s see\u2014it would be the right side of the timeline; right?\u2014\u201cThis time is coming. This is the (blank),\u201d \u201cThis is the clean slate we have now that God\u2019s going to write on.\u201d It\u2019s an empowering moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what we see, raising some of these dead marriages, as we talked about, to life\u2014is putting it all out there in a way that these couples realize they are not the only ones, who have ever gone through this; and God really can awaken something that is dead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, one of the last things you write about in your book is power\u2014the power of God. Talk about His power in your life and how you\u2019ve seen His power in other marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> I think when Penny and I first remarried, I felt like God was wanting to see if I was going to abide in what I said to Him\u2014in other words, follow through. James says: \u201cFaith without actions is dead. Just as the body without the spirit is dead, so is faith without deeds is dead.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like, for the first three years after Penny and I remarried, I dedicated my individual time to Him every single day. I needed to know His Word, inside\/out. I needed to know His promises. Then, after that three years\u2014I can\u2019t tell you exactly the exact time\u2014but it was almost like He opened the flood gates, and He started forming our ministry right before my eyes. I did <em>nothing<\/em>; He did it all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat He was wanting me to know is His Word. He wanted me to be truthful, to be honest, to do the right things. I know that I learned an awful lot about my bride and learned about her likes and dislikes. God had me study her for three years: \u201cLook at her. What does she like? What does she not like?\u201d Those are the things that God wants with us; He wants us to pour out our hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The bottom line is, I think, that individual alone time with God every single day\u2014seeking His Word, underlining His Word in your Bible, and just sticking to those promises, memorizing Scriptures that mean something to you\u2014I think those are the important things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> You asked about power. You know, we see in movies and we see in television\u2014we see all these powerful men, and action figures, and all this and that of what power is supposed to look like; in the media, for example, we\u2019re bombarded with all these images. But so often, in God\u2019s Word, His power came [softening voice] in the quietest, most silent, small ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere we are\u2014just one marriage that was <em>so<\/em> devastated\u2014and watching God take those pieces and put together each of the pieces\u2014even the pieces we thought were the ugliest or \u201cHow could that piece fit anywhere?\u201d\u2014piecing that together for us. If He could do that for <em>us<\/em>\/if His power could take something that was\u2014not only dead and buried in 11 years in a casket, with nails on top, and all the dirt thrown over it\u2014if <em>He<\/em> could resurrect <em>that<\/em>\/if He has the power to do <em>that<\/em> for <em>us<\/em>, He\u2019ll do that for anybody. There\u2019s <em>no<\/em> limit to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, you know, Clint talked about that individual relationship with God. That\u2019s the part we were missing the first time around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We live in a society that is such a quick-fix society\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that we\u2019re such consumers that want everything the next day. Clint, you said, for three years,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014for three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014every single day, you were in God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And God changes us through that time. We think, \u201cWhat will reading the Bible\u2026\u201d\u2014yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Reading the Bible\/talking to God\u2014that changes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> And we forget that the power of a changed heart\u2014you know, we\u2019re looking, like I said, for the power to come in this\u2014in the big car and that and somebody\u2019s going to invent it. The power came\u2014Jesus Christ\u2014and He has given us the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He is the big power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014the Holy Spirit. He is; He is, and that\u2014to watch a heart change; to know how God\u2019s power can change a heart\u2014I can think of nothing greater than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and to see you guys today sharing what you\u2019ve learned from your journey and helping other couples, who are in the ditch get out of the ditch, and how this book keeps pointing people back to where the power comes from and how you process all of that. I mean, that\u2019s where I get excited. I get excited with those stories of folks, who say, \u201cWe made ashes out of everything, and God made beauty from ashes.\u201d That\u2019s your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI appreciate you guys being with us today and sharing the story. Thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Thank you so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And thanks for the book, too; we should say that. The book, <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em>, I think is going to help a lot of couples, who are in a difficult spot in their marriage. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of Clint and Penny\u2019s book, <em>Marriage Off Course: Trusting God in the Desert of Unwanted Separation or Divorce<\/em>. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019m thinking about marriages that are in the kind of shape that we\u2019ve been talking about this week. To get away and spend a weekend together at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014this can be revolutionary for your marriage. We\u2019ve been offering, over the last couple of weeks, a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. You and your spouse can attend an upcoming getaway and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; but if you want to take advantage of that, we have to hear from you this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the president of FamilyLife,<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> David Robbins, here with us today. This is important for couples to spend this time\/to take this time and make this a priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; not only is there an urgency to this opportunity\u2014by the end of this weekend to take advantage of it\u2014it\u2019s beyond the urgency; it\u2019s just too important not to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We <em>love<\/em> getting to participate with couples and joining God in helping drawing couples together toward oneness in a world that, so often, drifts them apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, I\u2019ll just borrow a phrase and: \u201cThis is one of those decisions that you just do it\u201d; alright? [Laughter] I don\u2019t know who came up with that slogan; but we\u2019re going to rip it off right here: \u201cJust do it.\u201d Go to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways and experience what hundreds of thousands of couples\/actually, millions of couples have experienced over the last 40 years\u2014a fun, romantic getaway for couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you sign up today; you save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Now is the time to sign up and make plans to be at a spring <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. There is information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014you can register online\u2014or you can call if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to register by phone. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. Let\u2019s make this a priority\u2014to build into your marriage this spring at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk about a cultural phenomenon that is having an impact on a lot of marriages and, some of them, even before the marriage even gets started. Deepak Reju is going to join us to talk about fighting for purity in your marriage and dealing with pornography. I hope you can tune in Monday for that conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:10"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.7M"],"filesize_raw":["27997852"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305704.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305704.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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can raise dead things-Clint and Penny Bragg can vouch for that. Eleven years after their divorce, God brought them back together. The Braggs tell what God had to do in each of them to get to the point of reconciliation.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because separation and divorce has become more common in our day, Penny Bragg says, \u201cMost of us don\u2019t recognize how traumatic those events ultimately are for both husbands and wives.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> A marriage that goes through separation and divorce is like a death. There\u2019s so much grief associated with it, especially when it\u2019s in that place of, \u201cMaybe, it can be reconciled\u201d; it\u2019s not reconciled. Then the person is hopeful it will be reconciled, and then it goes to divorce\u2014the worst thing that they ever wanted: \u201cHow could a marriage come back from divorce?\u201d With all of those emotions and things that drive a person to that place of isolation and pain, it\u2019s not going to be a quick fix. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. You can find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. If there is any hope or any chance that a marriage that has been broken can be repaired, Clint and Penny Bragg say, \u201cThe hurts from the past have got to be acknowledged and addressed.\u201d We\u2019ll talk more about that with them today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I know most of the time, when you guys are working with couples and a marriage has come to an end, most people are thinking, \u201cWell, that\u2019s it; it\u2019s over\u201d; and most of the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that is it; it is over. But if couples would keep in the back of their mind the option, \u201cWhat if God were to do something to reopen a door?\u201d\u2014maybe, it\u2019s just one of the two that\u2019s keeping that option open\u2014you\u2019ve seen God do a work like that in couples lives, where doors get reopened, and marriages get patched up and healed, and wind up stronger than they ever were; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ve seen it. It is the struggle; because you think, when a marriage ends, it\u2019s like a death; and two people\u2014dead people\u2014come to life, not very often; but when Jesus steps in, He is the God of resurrection. It\u2019s <em>possible<\/em>; and absolutely, we\u2019ve seen it. Again, the couple has to make some really hard choices; but God can raise dead things. It\u2019s one of the most beautiful things He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you think is the difference between the couples who get there and the couples who never even consider it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think the biggest difference is where their eyes go. I think a lot of people get out of marriage and they\u2019re divorced; and their eyes instantly go to, \u201cHow can I now find fulfillment?\u201d\u2014many times, they think it\u2019s through another person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then I see a whole other group of people\u2014that their eyes go to Christ, and their walk with God and becoming whole in Him\/in who He says they are. I see those people go <em>deep<\/em> in their walks with God\/in the Word; and He begins to heal them. Those are the ones that we see resurrected marriages happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We are not suggesting that it\u2019s easy; you flip a switch. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is a lot of hurt; there is a lot of trust\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and there is no guarantee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014their pain\u2014all of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we\u2019ve seen it happen with couples, who come to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway\u2014couples who came because their marriage was hurting\/was in trouble; or couples who came, even after they\u2019ve gotten a divorce, and they are open to the possibility of reconciliation. God does a work in the course of that weekend to get them back on the right track, thinking about remarriage\u2014if they\u2019ve been separated or divorced\u2014or thinking about how they can fix the messes in their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I just want to encourage our listeners\u2014you\u2019ve heard us talking about the special offer we\u2019re making this week for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners\u2014you and your spouse can attend an upcoming getaway\/one of our spring getaways, and you can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; but we need to hear from you today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and take advantage of this pre-season offer; save 50 percent off the regular registration fee and attend an upcoming getaway. The list of locations and dates are all available on the website at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can register online, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to register over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys [Dave and Ann] are going to be speaking at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> in Nashville in March, so if couples live there and want to come see you at the <em>Weekend to Remember\u2014<\/em>Nashville in March. I\u2019m going to be in Orlando in April. Again, we\u2019ve got\u2014we\u2019ve got great couples who speak at these getaways all around the country. Find out how you can attend a getaway and save 50 percent by going to our website today\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know what I\u2019m grabbing my briefcase for, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; what? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You probably don\u2019t know this, but I carry this in my briefcase. These little pieces of paper are from one of the last <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>s I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> A guy came up to me on Sunday, at the close of the weekend. I was just about ready to close up; I was just\u2014I was on stage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Timer is going down, and you\u2019re going to start in 30 seconds. He goes, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve got to talk to you right now.\u201d I go: \u201cNo; I don\u2019t have time. You see that timer; when it hits zero, I\u2019ve got to speak.\u201d \u201cYes; but I\u2019ve got to tell you this.\u201d He goes\u2014he hands me these papers\u2014he goes, \u201cRip these up.\u201d I go, \u201cWhat are these?\u201d He goes, \u201cThese are my divorce papers.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I go, \u201cTell me your story real quick.\u201d I\u2019m not kidding\u2014it was probably more like \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t45 seconds\u2014but yes; he said, \u201cWe were getting a divorce. We came here, last resort. We were going to the attorney tomorrow,\u201d\u2014Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cAnd we brought the papers to have signed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And here they are\u2014\u201cJust because we\u2019re going to finish this thing,\u201d\u2014this was just a gift from somebody\u2014\u201cThis isn\u2019t going to work.\u201d I go\u2014real quick, I go, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes: \u201cNumber one, we can relate to you; you guys struggled like we did. We didn\u2019t think we\u2019d hear from presenters who had struggles, but you guys had struggles. And here is what we couldn\u2019t relate to\u2014you told us, all weekend, the answer is a foundation in Jesus Christ. That, we don\u2019t have\u2014until yesterday morning\u2014surrendered our lives to Christ. We\u2019re going home, and we\u2019re going to make this thing work. Will you rip these up?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI jumped off the stage; and I said, \u201cNo; you rip them up.\u201d [Laughter] So, I\u2019ve got them right here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There is the attorney\u2019s name on there, and I\u2019ve kept them in my thing just to remember that God does resurrect dead marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Clint:<\/strong> He does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got a couple of marriage missionaries joining us this week on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Clint and Penny Bragg. Welcome back, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You guys have written a book called <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em> that is\u2014it\u2019s really not your memoir, although your story is kind of weaved through it. Your marriage got off course because you didn\u2019t address hurt and pain from the past, because you had a superficial relationship with Christ. I think that is important to say\u2014it was a casual relationship with Christ, not a committed relationship with Christ. You were apart for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t11 years before God brought you back together again, and your marriage was reconciled. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you\u2019re travelling around to all around the country, in the spring and in the fall, going around and talking to folks about how you can get a marriage that got off course back on course. You\u2019re dealing with people, who have been separated\/who have been divorced. You\u2019re dealing with people who are in isolation, even if they are still married. We were talking about this earlier\u2014couples who are emotionally divorced, even though they are not physically divorced; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Where do you start with them? Do you start by saying, \u201cLet\u2019s get your spiritual life in line\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> You know, actually, we start with the emotional; because a marriage that is unreconciled\u2014that is where you\u2019ve got one spouse in, one spouse out\u2014the emotions are a <em>mess<\/em>. There is like a roller coaster ride. We have found that, unless we validate some of those emotions\u2014and it doesn\u2019t\/it\u2019s not like you\u2019re spending forever, dealing with emotions\u2014but it\u2019s the reason we put it as Chapter Two in the book and, then, we begin talking about some spiritual things\u2014is because the emotions are so out of control. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Penny, what\u2019s that look like? What do you mean by that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Validating the emotions\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; how do you do it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014a lot of times, is listening, loving, praying: \u201cJust talk with me. Talk with me. Let me just listen and be a good listener to you,\u201d and \u201cThat must be really difficult for you right now,\u201d\u2014listening with compassion. What happens is\u2014emotions can get in such a whirlwind when a marriage is unreconciled that things start to spin out of control. It\u2019s like a hurricane that has gone wild, and you can\u2019t capture it or control it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we can do some validating, first, and acknowledge the fact that: \u201cThis is painful, and you know what? I\u2019m going to walk alongside you in this. I\u2019m going to put my arm around you, or grab your hand. I\u2019m going to listen, and I\u2019m going to love you, and I\u2019m going to pray with you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we can, at least, get those things done first, then some of those emotions feel validated by the person in pain; and we can move into that, anchoring spiritual relationship in Jesus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you mention in the book that this is like going into the desert\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014and it doesn\u2019t go quickly\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014right? You don\u2019t walk through the emotions like in a day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You take <em>time<\/em> to allow God to work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It\u2019s grieving. You mentioned a marriage that goes through separation and divorce is like a death. There are so <em>much<\/em> grief associated with it, especially when it\u2019s in that place of, \u201cMaybe, it\u2019s going to be reconciled\u201d; it\u2019s not reconciled. Then the person is hopeful that it will be reconciled; then it goes to divorce\u2014the worst thing that they ever wanted: \u201cHow could a marriage come back from divorce?\u201d With all of those emotions and things that drive a person to that place of isolation and pain, it\u2019s not going to be a quick fix. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> It\u2019s going to take time; it\u2019s going to take work; it\u2019s going to be that journey through the desert. A lot of times, we want to get out of the hot, sticky desert as soon as we can. I don\u2019t see that in the Bible anywhere, where anybody got out of a desert quickly. If anything, there was a long journey ahead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> I have a friend, who doesn\u2019t like to deal with emotions. Do you get where I\u2019m going? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; if I was that guy, and you wanted to talk about my emotions, I would be quick to say: \u201cOh, they\u2019re not that big a deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cWe don\u2019t need to talk about them.\u201d What do you do with that person that really does not want to go there to help them get to a place where they can actually get to reconciliation? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Clint:<\/strong> I think what I do, with some of the guys who are like that\u2014I say, \u201cGive me \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t90 days. Give me 90 days, where we are going to meet on a regular basis; and let\u2019s talk about different things.\u201d Guess what? We\u2019re going to talk about emotions, whether they know that or not. What we\u2019re going to find out is where they are coming from and where they think they are headed, and try and get them to understand that we need to build this relationship with Christ\u2014a relationship, maybe, they\u2019ve never had before in their life\u2014but you have to do it gently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you give them a 90-day\u2014I\u2019ve had several guys, if you give them 90 days\u2014say: \u201c90 days; I want 90 days from you. You can\u2019t file divorce; you can\u2019t say nasty things on social media. You\u2019ve got to be committed to: \u2018Let\u2019s find out where you\u2019re at. What\u2019s hurting you? What\u2019s going on inside?\u2019 Let\u2019s see if we can\u2019t plot a new course for you and figure out how Christ can heal that part of your body.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> I think, oftentimes, what happens, Dave, is the man who doesn\u2019t want to deal with the emotions\u2014he may be having them, but stuffing them down or something like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> We\u2019ll use something linear, like a timeline, and will start to go through: \u201cMaybe, let\u2019s back up a little bit; let\u2019s back up,\u201d and \u201cWhere did you grow up?\u201d We start going back to go forward. We go back to go forward with them and just kind of getting to know that person a little bit more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tClint will meet with a man, one on one, for a period of time, where he and I will meet together with a spouse. We\u2019ll go to the timeline because that helps them sort and sift through, then the emotions end up coming up through the dialogue that we\u2019re having as we go back in time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> So, \u201cWhat\u2019s that timeline look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cWhat does that timeline look like?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting\u2014Dave and I took a trip with several couples to Israel a couple years ago. And in our time, we explored Israel, which was amazing; but in the evenings, we did a timeline. We did a personal timeline; and when you do that, people can just put down like, \u201cOh, this happened.\u201d There is something that happens when you walk through it; it kind of stirs up emotions. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we also had them do a marriage timeline, which was even more interesting; because you go through their journey of their highs and their lows. There is something about that in a group of people that, when we were done with our trip, there was an intimacy in relationships that felt so safe and exposed\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014which doesn\u2019t feel safe, all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBecause these people know me and, yet, they love me.\u201d Some people, even on our trip, said, \u201cWe don\u2019t want to share it, because people will judge us based on our timeline.\u201d They had some pretty raw, real things in their relationship; but to see others come around them, love them, pray for them, encourage them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014those create lifelong relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, what are the next steps? You kind of go through this timeline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> We do, and we actually get pretty specific. The timeline activity is in <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em>; but we go through\u2014first of all, we look at some of what that person would say are low\u2014not highlights\u2014but lowlights\/things that happened that were negative in their lives. We look at spiritual things, financial things, family, logistics\u2014we go through that. And then, we go back and say, \u201cWhat were the messages that were spoken over you at this time?\u201d If it\u2019s a highlight, they might say, \u201cWell, I found my sense of belonging.\u201d If it\u2019s something that is low and negative, they\u2019ll say, \u201cI was fearful.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll go back through, and then we\u2019ll take the Word of God. We\u2019ll go back and take the Word of God and\u2014over those things that are negative\/over those things that have spoken such destruction over their lives\u2014we\u2019ll look at what God\u2019s Word has to say about that. Now, they are digging into the Word of God, and they are going back to that thing: \u201cOkay; let\u2019s take that statement that says, \u2018I\u2019m unwanted.\u2019 What does God say?\u201d We write the Scripture verse there\u2014what God says. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is a process\u2014a long process\u2014and you can go as deep into this timeline activity as you want. There are lots of things that you can do that we kind of outline; but all of it begins to get that person to speak, and to share, and to\u2014there is a verse in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 28 that talks about: \u201cHe who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.\u201d Well, somewhere in that timeline activity, confession happens\u2014and the confession of things that maybe they\u2019ve done that they regret. Un-grieved losses is <em>huge<\/em>. <br><br>When we are working with a spouse, the un-grieved losses are almost unbelievable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> When we go through it, they\u2019ll say, like, \u201cWell, my grandfather died here; and then I lost my job,\u201d\u2014and they are just buzzing along the timeline. We\u2019re like: \u201cWhoa. Whoa. Wait just a second. All that happened in 1992? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u201cWow!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know, for me, when I had done my timeline, I went to a place where I was\u2014I can\u2019t even remember how old I was\u2014but I\u2019m the youngest of four. I was sharing a story at the dinner table. My dad put his hand out and said: \u201cHey, now is not your time. This is your brother\u2019s time, who is the oldest; it\u2019s not your time to speak.\u201d Well, my thought was, \u201cWhen is my time to speak?\u201d I felt like I was unseen and didn\u2019t and shouldn\u2019t be heard from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happens?\u2014you don\u2019t deal with that; you take that, now, into your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, when Dave is gone, or I\u2019m not important, I\u2019m triggered to say: \u201cYou\u2019re not hearing me! You\u2019re not seeing me!\u201d He\u2019s thinking: \u201cWhy are you reacting so strongly to this?! What is your problem?\u201d The problem stems way back there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do we need counselors to walk us through, or can we do this as lay people with timelines? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Well, we actually train leaders in the church how to do this with couples; because it\u2019s so easy to take a piece of paper; you know? If we have a couple, then we\u2019ve got a wife with a one-color pen; the husband with the other color pen. It can be a <em>great<\/em> interactive activity. If nobody\u2019s around in the room, we use butcher paper so it can be plastered all over the walls. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we can go back and look at the redemption. We can take the Word; I mean, this is an interactive piece of healing that you see happen as these things are unpacked\u2014and where the timeline\u2014if it starts with marriage, when we get to go backwards with a couple into childhood\u2014her childhood\/his childhood\u2014and we get to address some of those issues. Go through the marriage, and then we get to tape a big piece of paper to the\u2014let\u2019s see\u2014it would be the right side of the timeline; right?\u2014\u201cThis time is coming. This is the (blank),\u201d \u201cThis is the clean slate we have now that God\u2019s going to write on.\u201d It\u2019s an empowering moment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is what we see, raising some of these dead marriages, as we talked about, to life\u2014is putting it all out there in a way that these couples realize they are not the only ones, who have ever gone through this; and God really can awaken something that is dead. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, one of the last things you write about in your book is power\u2014the power of God. Talk about His power in your life and how you\u2019ve seen His power in other marriages. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> I think when Penny and I first remarried, I felt like God was wanting to see if I was going to abide in what I said to Him\u2014in other words, follow through. James says: \u201cFaith without actions is dead. Just as the body without the spirit is dead, so is faith without deeds is dead.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like, for the first three years after Penny and I remarried, I dedicated my individual time to Him every single day. I needed to know His Word, inside\/out. I needed to know His promises. Then, after that three years\u2014I can\u2019t tell you exactly the exact time\u2014but it was almost like He opened the flood gates, and He started forming our ministry right before my eyes. I did <em>nothing<\/em>; He did it all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat He was wanting me to know is His Word. He wanted me to be truthful, to be honest, to do the right things. I know that I learned an awful lot about my bride and learned about her likes and dislikes. God had me study her for three years: \u201cLook at her. What does she like? What does she not like?\u201d Those are the things that God wants with us; He wants us to pour out our hearts. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The bottom line is, I think, that individual alone time with God every single day\u2014seeking His Word, underlining His Word in your Bible, and just sticking to those promises, memorizing Scriptures that mean something to you\u2014I think those are the important things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> You asked about power. You know, we see in movies and we see in television\u2014we see all these powerful men, and action figures, and all this and that of what power is supposed to look like; in the media, for example, we\u2019re bombarded with all these images. But so often, in God\u2019s Word, His power came [softening voice] in the quietest, most silent, small ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere we are\u2014just one marriage that was <em>so<\/em> devastated\u2014and watching God take those pieces and put together each of the pieces\u2014even the pieces we thought were the ugliest or \u201cHow could that piece fit anywhere?\u201d\u2014piecing that together for us. If He could do that for <em>us<\/em>\/if His power could take something that was\u2014not only dead and buried in 11 years in a casket, with nails on top, and all the dirt thrown over it\u2014if <em>He<\/em> could resurrect <em>that<\/em>\/if He has the power to do <em>that<\/em> for <em>us<\/em>, He\u2019ll do that for anybody. There\u2019s <em>no<\/em> limit to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, you know, Clint talked about that individual relationship with God. That\u2019s the part we were missing the first time around. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We live in a society that is such a quick-fix society\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that we\u2019re such consumers that want everything the next day. Clint, you said, for three years,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014for three years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014every single day, you were in God\u2019s Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And God changes us through that time. We think, \u201cWhat will reading the Bible\u2026\u201d\u2014yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Reading the Bible\/talking to God\u2014that changes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> And we forget that the power of a changed heart\u2014you know, we\u2019re looking, like I said, for the power to come in this\u2014in the big car and that and somebody\u2019s going to invent it. The power came\u2014Jesus Christ\u2014and He has given us the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He is the big power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Penny:<\/strong> \u2014the Holy Spirit. He is; He is, and that\u2014to watch a heart change; to know how God\u2019s power can change a heart\u2014I can think of nothing greater than that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and to see you guys today sharing what you\u2019ve learned from your journey and helping other couples, who are in the ditch get out of the ditch, and how this book keeps pointing people back to where the power comes from and how you process all of that. I mean, that\u2019s where I get excited. I get excited with those stories of folks, who say, \u201cWe made ashes out of everything, and God made beauty from ashes.\u201d That\u2019s your story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI appreciate you guys being with us today and sharing the story. Thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Clint:<\/strong> Thank you so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And thanks for the book, too; we should say that. The book, <em>Marriage Off Course<\/em>, I think is going to help a lot of couples, who are in a difficult spot in their marriage. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of Clint and Penny\u2019s book, <em>Marriage Off Course: Trusting God in the Desert of Unwanted Separation or Divorce<\/em>. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I\u2019m thinking about marriages that are in the kind of shape that we\u2019ve been talking about this week. To get away and spend a weekend together at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014this can be revolutionary for your marriage. We\u2019ve been offering, over the last couple of weeks, a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. You and your spouse can attend an upcoming getaway and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; but if you want to take advantage of that, we have to hear from you this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the president of FamilyLife,<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> David Robbins, here with us today. This is important for couples to spend this time\/to take this time and make this a priority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Yes; not only is there an urgency to this opportunity\u2014by the end of this weekend to take advantage of it\u2014it\u2019s beyond the urgency; it\u2019s just too important not to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> We <em>love<\/em> getting to participate with couples and joining God in helping drawing couples together toward oneness in a world that, so often, drifts them apart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, I\u2019ll just borrow a phrase and: \u201cThis is one of those decisions that you just do it\u201d; alright? [Laughter] I don\u2019t know who came up with that slogan; but we\u2019re going to rip it off right here: \u201cJust do it.\u201d Go to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways and experience what hundreds of thousands of couples\/actually, millions of couples have experienced over the last 40 years\u2014a fun, romantic getaway for couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you sign up today; you save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Now is the time to sign up and make plans to be at a spring <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. There is information, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014you can register online\u2014or you can call if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to register by phone. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. Let\u2019s make this a priority\u2014to build into your marriage this spring at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk about a cultural phenomenon that is having an impact on a lot of marriages and, some of them, even before the marriage even gets started. Deepak Reju is going to join us to talk about fighting for purity in your marriage and dealing with pornography. I hope you can tune in Monday for that conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. 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