{"id":305687,"date":"2020-01-16T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-01-16T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again\/"},"modified":"2020-01-16T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-01-16T11:00:04","slug":"kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Kiss Me, and Kiss Me Again"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sharon Jaynes looks to the Song of Solomon for practical wisdom on love and romance. Jaynes studies to find out what is most attractive to a woman, and then tells what Solomon found most attractive in his wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:07","filesize":"25.75M","filesize_raw":"26995592","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2088,2862],"tags":[6816],"podcast_series":[8331],"cwp_profile":[3227],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305687","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-romance-and-sex","category-understanding-differences","tag-lovestruck","podcast_series-lovestruck","cwp_profile-sharon-jaynes","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305687\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305687\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BEKlNM1PsC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again\/\">Kiss Me, and Kiss Me Again<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kiss-me-and-kiss-me-again\/embed\/#?secret=BEKlNM1PsC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Kiss Me, and Kiss Me Again&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BEKlNM1PsC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Sharon Jaynes looks to the Song of Solomon for practical wisdom on love and romance. Jaynes studies to find out what is most attractive to a woman, and then tells what Solomon found most attractive in his wife.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is it that draws us to one another as husbands and wives? What are we <em>attracted<\/em> to about one another? Sharon Jaynes says attraction is about more than just what meets the eye. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I remember when I met my husband Steve\u2014we were both in college\u2014and a friend of mine had a Bible study. I walked into this Bible study, and there is this guy sitting on the floor with these scruffy jeans and a red flannel shirt. He had a little chip on his front tooth, and he had a Bible in his lap. I watched him, paid attention to what he laughed at, how he spoke, how he spoke to other people; but I mean, by the second time I was with him, I thought, \u201cI am going to marry that man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so attracted to\u2014yes, he was handsome\u2014but his character: what I learned about his character over the next few weeks, just how he interacted with other people\u2014that was <em>so<\/em> attractive to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, January 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. There is great <em>power<\/em> in attraction\u2014both before we are married and after we\u2019re married. We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Sharon Jaynes. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. When couples find themselves in a place where they need help in their marriage\/need counseling of some sort\u2014if you ask them, \u201cWhat are the issues that have led you into a counselor\u2019s office?\u201d\u2014there are some pretty common issues\u2014four or five things that will come to the surface. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You always hear, \u201cmoney.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cMoney\u201d can be\u2014yes, it\u2019s one of them; \u201ckids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cKids,\u201d \u201cconflict,\u201d and you always hear, \u201csex.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; intimacy winds up being one of those issues that couples look at and go, \u201cIf this is not working the way it\u2019s supposed to, there is something wrong in our marriage.\u201d I think we need to understand that\u2019s by God\u2019s design. He intended for us to be one in every aspect of our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOneness, physically, is what we\u2019re talking about this week\u2014it\u2019s one of the things we talk about at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. I want to, again, remind our listeners about the fact that, this week, we have a special offer we are making to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. If you sign up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014plan to be with us at one of our getaways this spring\u2014you can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee as long as you sign up this week. You can go online, FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014all of the locations and dates are listed there\u2014or you can call us: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number to call. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce you\u2019ve locked in and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go this weekend to that location,\u201d\u2014maybe, it\u2019s a location near you; maybe, you want to travel and get away for a weekend\u2014whatever you want to do\u2014sign up this week, and we\u2019ll cover half of your registration fee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That is a great deal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014worth every penny. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You think about the investments we make throughout the year\u2014in like keeping our car washed, and keeping the oil changed, and our lawn looking nice\u2014and how much do we really invest in our marriage relationship? To take a weekend away and spend a little money to have a retreat like this, I don\u2019t think there is anything better you can do for your marriage. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the special offer we are making this week; or call to register at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we are talking this week about passion, and romance, and intimacy in marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Sort of a boring week; huh, Bob? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Just a light topic. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, just passion and romance. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Part of the reason we\u2019re doing this is because of a great new book that our friend, Sharon Jaynes, has written. Sharon is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Sharon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Thank you! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Sharon is an author; she is a mom; she\u2019s a wife. She speaks at events around the country, and she just spent the last couple of years reading the Song of Solomon, pretty much, every day; right? I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Some of it every day; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what is it like to have your devotions in Song of Solomon every day for like a year-and-a-half? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Like: \u201cLord, did You really say that, God?!\u201d \u201cDid You really write that here?!\u201d \u201cIs that really in there?!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did it do for your <em>own<\/em> marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Maybe, see some things differently\u2014intimacy\u2014see\/saw it differently more than the physical side of it; but what it means spiritually. One thing I never thought of before is that coming together, as a husband and wife in the physical sense, is almost like renewing that covenant\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014every time. This might be strange to hear; but when you take communion, you are remembering\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014remembering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> \u2014what Jesus did for you. And when you come together as husband and wife, in that way, it\u2019s almost like you\u2019re remembering again and renewing a covenant again. As I studied more about what the covenant meant\u2014rather than marriage not being a contract but a covenant\u2014that was new to me; it made me approach it differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of the things I thought was interesting about your book is\u2014I\u2019ve read some books on the Song of Solomon, never written by a woman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was fresh to say, \u201cOkay; here is a woman\u2019s perspective, looking at Scripture.\u201d Try this\u2014I\u2019m going to walk you right through your book. You know that first chapter\u2014it\u2019s called \u201cThe Mystery of Physical Attraction\u201d\u2014you look at what Solomon had to say; it\u2019s really getting into this. Tell us guys\/tell the guys listening: \u201cWhat is super attractive to a woman?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Let me just say this\u2014that the woman in the Song of Solomon is a predominate character. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Most of what we are reading\u2014it\u2019s about <em>her<\/em> thoughts and <em>her<\/em> actions. The very first verse, really\u2014besides the verse that says, \u201cThis is a song of Solomon,\u201d\u2014is \u201cKiss me and kiss me again,\u201d which you probably want Ann to memorize in seven different translations; right? [Laughter] It starts off with her saying that; and we see that by the time we meet her, she\u2019s already head over heels with this guy. She talks about his physical appearance, but she also talks about his character. She\u2019s drawn to his character too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe says this line\u2014this is kind of the code word; so talk about code words throughout the Song of Solomon\u2014that we read things, and we\u2019re really not sure what she is talking about. When she said that \u201chis name is like oil poured out,\u201d\u2014well, that is really a reference to his character; and why would you be attracted to one man over another? The culture will say, \u201cThat\u2019s chemistry.\u201d I think that\u2019s something that God puts in us that makes us attractive to certain people. It\u2019s not just something that\u2019s <em>naturally<\/em> occurring; I think He created us that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing I say a lot in the beginning of the book is: \u201cWe are not just looking at the <em>what<\/em> to give you tips and tricks,\u201d\u2014even though there is some of that\u2014\u201cbut we are looking at the <em>why<\/em>. <em>Why<\/em> is a man attracted to one particular woman? Why is a woman attracted to one particular man? Well, I think God puts something in us that makes that happen; so the <em>why<\/em> of it all, and the <em>why<\/em> of passion in general, is because God created us that way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I\u2019ve found, you know, for my wife\u2014Ann has told me\u2014and it\u2019s right here in your first chapter\u2014this mystery of physical attraction. I\u2019d love to hear you two talk about this\u2014is there is the \u201ckiss me with the kisses of his mouth.\u201d Ann has told me, often, nonsexual touch is <em>very<\/em> important to her; so the kiss thing is almost nonsexual. It doesn\u2019t have to be sexual in a sense. Then, also, in that same thing, the oil poured out is the character part. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we men often miss that. We think it\u2019s all about our body; it\u2019s all about the physical: \u201cI\u2019m going to get in the gym and get abs and work them.\u201d There is nothing wrong with that\u2014that\u2019s wonderful. But we think, \u201cThat\u2019s what a woman really wants.\u201d Yet, you start right here and say, \u201cIt is <em>so much<\/em> deeper and bigger than that\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Right. I remember when I met my husband Steve\u2014we were both in college\u2014and a friend of mine had a Bible study. I walked into this Bible study, and there is this guy sitting on the floor with these scruffy jeans; he had on a red flannel shirt. He had a little chip on his front tooth, and he had a Bible in his lap. I paid attention to what he laughed at, how he spoke, how he spoke to other people; but that Bible in his lap\u2014I mean, by the second time I was with him, I thought, \u201cI am going to marry that man.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so attracted to\u2014yes, he was handsome\u2014but his character: what I learned about his character over the next few weeks, just how he interacted with other people\u2014that was <em>so<\/em> attractive to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I agree with that because for Dave\u2014same thing. He was <em>so<\/em> attractive, physically, to me; but that wouldn\u2019t have been <em>enough<\/em> to take me to the next level. I can remember the time we had\u2014it was one of our first dates. We had a conversation; and I remember driving home, thinking: \u201cThat guy wants to change the world for Jesus. What would it be like to be his partner in changing the world?\u201d So, both\u2014God uses the physical attraction but, then, that character piece\u2014<em>that<\/em> really pulls at our heart as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The package is nice, but it\u2019s the present inside\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that is really what\u2019s valuable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I know I read in Song of Solomon: \u201cHis arms are rods of gold set with jewels. His body is polished ivory bedecked with sapphires. His legs are alabaster columns set on bases of gold.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s my husband. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I\u2019m going, \u201cYes; well, so I\u2019m in trouble.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That <em>was<\/em> your husband. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There is this glorification of physical beauty, both for the man and the woman, in Song of Solomon. There are some people, who read this, and they go, \u201cWell, I guess I\u2019ll never measure up.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Well, there are actually three times where you read something similar to what you just read. Twice, he\u2019s going from head to toe with his wife, praising her body\u2014actually, the first time is head to toe. The second time, he starts at her feet and works up which is an <em>awesome<\/em> parallel with starting at someone\u2019s feet and being a servant; but that\u2019s a whole other lesson. [Laughter] Then, of course, she does that with him in the passage that you just read. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that, to me, more than just saying they are focusing on the physical is that they are complimenting each other; and they are giving each other words of praise and adoration. That\u2019s what I learned from those passages when they are praising each other\u2019s physical appearance\u2014is that they are giving each other words of praise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen does that stop? When do we stop giving compliments to one another? Well, it shouldn\u2019t, really. We start the Song of Solomon that way, and we end it that way when they are most likely older. That is a lesson for us that have been\u2014I mean, I\u2019ve been married almost 39 years\u2014we need to <em>never<\/em> stop giving those words of affirmation to our spouse. It might not always be about physical appearance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn those examples, most of what they say are; but when you go back and you study when she is talking about his legs being like bronze, there\u2019s much more to that than the physical aspect, because the legs being like bronze is also representative of his <em>strength<\/em>. She is still talking about his physical body, but she is <em>also<\/em> talking about his character as well in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ll just point out here. I\u2019ve observed, over the years, that the better I get to know someone, and the more I see the beauty of their character, I watch their physical appearance change. I see someone as more attractive once I know their character than I saw before that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I\u2019ve observed is\u2014and maybe, this is\u2014I don\u2019t know if this is me or if it\u2019s most guys\u2014but for me, a woman\u2019s smile is the most attractive thing about her. I\u2019m talking\u2014I\u2019m a married man; so it\u2019s not like I\u2019m out looking around at all these women, saying, \u201cWho do I find attractive?\u201d But it\u2019s natural\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> It\u2019s beautiful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for us to look around and go, \u201cThat\u2019s an attractive person.\u201d Mary Ann and I will talk about this from time to time: \u201cDid you notice he was a good looking\u2026?\u201d \u201cShe\u2019s an attractive woman.\u201d We\u2019ll do that; but then we\u2019ll pull back, and we\u2019ll say, \u201cWhat is it?\u201d It\u2019s not just body size, or measurement, or any of those things; it\u2019s really the radiance of character coming through and being projected in the physical appearance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> When you go back and look at the Song of Solomon\u2014the Shulamite or the woman\u2014she did not think she was attractive. She said, \u201cTell him the other women don\u2019t look at me because I\u2019ve been burned by the sun.\u201d She saw that her skin was rough like the tents of the Bedouins. She did not see herself as attractive, but Solomon did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> So there was something in her that he looked beyond that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven as you move into Song of Solomon, Chapter 2, she says, \u201cI am the rose of Sharon.\u201d For us, we think, \u201cOh, she thought she was a rose\u201d; but no. What that actually means, when you go back and look up what the rose of Sharon was, it was that very common flower. It would be like me saying, \u201cI am just a dandelion; I\u2019m just a weed.\u201d He says, \u201cO listen; if you think you\u2019re just the rose of Sharon, everybody else\u2014they are like briar bushes compared to you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019m thinking: \u201cGuys, are you listening right now? [Laughter] Do you understand the wisdom that is coming through to you right now?\u201d I\u2019m guessing\u2014because I know my wife very well\u2014that a lot of women feel the same way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think she is <em>stunning<\/em>; I\u2019ve always thought that. She rarely has thought that. So what, as a husband, can I do?\u2014speak words of praise;\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014speak words of affirmation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just talked about this\u2014you think, \u201cOh, no; I don\u2019t want to say it every day.\u201d No; say it every day\u2014often, often. Where will that smile come from?\u2014that will come from your words of affirming her. That\u2019s what Solomon showed us in this book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why do we stop doing that, Sharon? Because after people are married a while, they see flaws; they don\u2019t see the good. That praising one another stops. How do you address that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s apathy and indifference. Even in the Song of Solomon, we see that. The first four chapters, you\u2019ve got this couple\u2014they are wooing each other. Then they\u2019ve got the wedding; and then they\u2019ve got a whole chapter on the honeymoon, and how he is praising her\u2014top to bottom; it\u2019s very, very romantic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then you turn over to the next chapter. In Chapter 5, he comes knocking; and she says, \u201cNo thanks.\u201d It\u2019s interesting that about 20 percent of the book is related to conflict and forgiveness, so that makes it very real for us. He comes knocking; she\u2019s not interested. Why is that? Why does that happen in marriage? Again, it\u2019s just apathy. We get indifferent to it; we stop trying. Before we know it, we have a marriage that\u2019s void of that, and we\u2019re not doing it. We think, \u201cHe\u2019s not doing it; I\u2019m not going to do it.\u201d But you know, somebody\u2019s got to make the first move. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a willow tree in my back yard, and it blew over this year. Now, I was not surprised when it blew over because, for five years, it had fewer and fewer and fewer leaves on it. When it blew over in the storm, I thought, \u201cWell, it just died.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo many times in marriage, people will ask that question: \u201cWhy are we not doing this anymore? What happened? I wasn\u2019t expecting that.\u201d We have to pay attention. That does not happen all of a sudden; it happens gradually\u2014just like that tree dying\u2014fewer leaves every year. We have to pay attention and not be apathetic about our relationship as husband and wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPay attention and do the effort. Go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. Pay attention. Make it a priority that you marriage is going to be a priority if you want it to last a lifetime. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to go back to something that Dave asked both of you about; because I read an article, years ago, where someone had gone to the top supermodels in America and said, \u201cOn a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your physical appearance?\u201d The average number from the supermodels was a 7; and they immediately went and pointed out, \u201cHere is what is wrong with my appearance.\u201d These are women who are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for their physical beauty; and when they look at themselves, they see the flaws. Mary Ann has said to me, \u201cThat\u2019s common.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> It\u2019s very common. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Most women do not look in the mirror and go, \u201cYou know I really am\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cstunning.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cLook at me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. So, Ann, when Dave says that a husband should, every day, be praising his wife\u2019s beauty, does it take about 10 or 15 years before you start to go, \u201cWell, maybe, he\u2019s got something there\u201d; or do you ever believe it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good question, because where does our value come from? I think, for many women, our value has come from the world and our culture, saying, \u201cA woman\u2019s worth is totally correlated to her beauty\/her physical beauty.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe come in, I think, as women, feeling insecure\/of feeling like we\u2019re not enough. But it is amazing; after all these years, Dave will tell me, \u201cAnn, you look great,\u201d\u2014or whatever\u2014I can sit there and think, \u201cNo; I don\u2019t!\u201d especially as we get older. Yet, here is what I do know\u2014he thinks it. Isn\u2019t that the most important thing? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got to be honest. When we first got married, I would say something like that\u2014\u201cI think you\u2019re beautiful.\u201d\u2014and she would respond, \u201cI\u2019m not.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would point out why I\u2019m not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I mean, honestly, I thought she was kidding. I wasn\u2019t even in tune enough to know she <em>really<\/em> doesn\u2019t think she\u2019s beautiful; she really doesn\u2019t. There was sexual abuse in the past; there was all this stuff that you can add up later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember thinking, \u201cOne of my jobs, as her husband, is to relay to her what God sees in her: \u2018He sees you as beautiful, and so do I. I\u2019m not going to stop saying it.\u2019\u201d Don\u2019t let a day go by without writing that letter, making that phone call, sending that text, and then verbally looking at your woman and saying, \u201cThank God for you; you are gorgeous.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> I woman said to me one time: \u201cWell, I would treat a man really well if my husband treated me like Solomon treated his wife\u201d; but here is the thing\u2014she treated him just as well. I appreciate you saying that the husband should be telling the wife that she\u2019s beautiful; but we, wives, need to be doing the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Preach it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Preach it, woman! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> No; we really do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it is true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would say this\u2014I tell women\u2014it\u2019s very important for women to express that to our men\u2014their strength, their abilities\u2014not lie; but to say, \u201cThese are the things that I\u2019m so attracted to about you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m hoping that all of us recognize that, if we want to be attractive to one another, we can work on the package. There is nothing wrong, like you said, Dave, with working on the package; but if you\u2019re not working on the character\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014it doesn\u2019t really matter what the package is. You can get the outside appearance looking great; but if the character is not there, the physical appearance is not going to matter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the same token, you can work on your physical appearance if you\u2019re developing character. Your beauty\/your physical beauty\u2014your attractiveness as a man or as a woman\u2014is going to be multiplied because, ultimately, we are drawn to the character in another person\u2014to the goodness, to the godliness, to the Bible on the lap as much as we are to how broad the shoulders are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019ll tell you something quick. I was in a high school, years ago, with the Detroit Lions players as I took them in there to speak about making right choices [to students] in this high school. We do this little athletic competition, and I\u2019m standing beside one of these NFL players. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some teachers down, maybe, ten feet from me. I have a tank top on that has our thing\u2014Pro Challenge\u2014and I\u2019m standing beside this big linebacker. I hear this one teacher\u2014and I can see out of my periphery\u2014he sort of looks down and he goes, \u201cHey, who is that little guy down there?\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m standing beside Chris Spielman. If you don\u2019t know that name, he\u2019s a Hall-of-Famer broadcaster now. He turns to me and goes, \u201cHey, man, do you know that guy talking about you?\u201d I go, \u201cNo; I didn\u2019t hear a thing\u201d; you know? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I hear the other teacher go, \u201cOh, I think he is a kicker or something\u201d; right? Chris makes a joke then as well. Then we do our thing that day, and I go home that night. When that comment came out, I didn\u2019t say anything; I sort of laughed; but I was like: \u201cWow! I used to be a quarterback; I was the big man on campus. Now, I\u2019m a kicker-like guy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthe little guy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthe little kicker guy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthe little guy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I love kickers; there is nothing wrong with kickers; but, man, it was an ego thing. I told Ann that night, so I just relayed that little story. She knew me in college; so she could easily go: \u201cWhoa! That had to be a blow\u201d; you know? I didn\u2019t even say, \u201cOh, it was\u2026\u201d\u2014I just said, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m like a kicker now?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget this\u2014she looks me across the\u2014she was on the couch; I was on this La-Z-Boy. She goes, \u201cDave Wilson, look me in the eye.\u201d I look over there, and she says, \u201cLet me tell you something; you have a <em>great<\/em> body,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the first thing she said. I, now, know she was lying; but she said that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> No; she wasn\u2019t. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Sometimes, it\u2019s okay to say it; but here is what she said\u2014I can almost quote her word for word because it was so important for me to hear at that moment. She said: \u201cYou are an amazing man of God. Your character is something that is stellar. When I see you pray with our boys\/when I see you lead me spiritually, that is what a man is. Don\u2019t you ever forget that!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> Good job, Ann. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong> That is awesome! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014it was a moment that I\u2019m like, \u201cI needed to be reminded it\u2019s not about the outside.\u201d It really is\u2014it\u2019s both\u2014but it\u2019s really about character. She\u2019s still in love with my character, and it was something I had to be reminded. I\u2019m saying that to every person listening. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, it may have been too long since you\u2019ve looked at each other and said, \u201cLet me tell you what I love about you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It may be something like: \u201c\u2026the way your eyes sparkle\u201d; it may be something like, \u201c\u2026your hair.\u201d There may be <em>physical<\/em> attributes that you can point to and say: \u201cI\u2019ve always loved this about you: your cheeks,\u201d or \u201c\u2026your smile,\u201d \u201c\u2026your dimples\u2014whatever it is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201c\u2026your no hair.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But then to say, \u201cBut you know what really I\u2019m drawn to?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and to speak to one another about the character\/the godly character you see in your spouse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are thinking, \u201cThere is nothing I could say,\u201d ask God to point out to you three things you can affirm about your spouse <em>today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I would say, with that, go back\u2014if you can\u2019t think of anything, go back to the day you married them. There were things that you were drawn to\/that you were attracted to\u2014remember those. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you need some help, get a copy of the book, <em>Lovestruck<\/em>. Read through it, and see if doesn\u2019t <em>inspire<\/em> romance and attraction in your marriage. We\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Lovestruck<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order it. Again, the book is <em>Lovestruck<\/em>\u2014by Sharon Jaynes\u2014<em>Discovering God\u2019s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy<\/em> <em>from the Song of Solomon<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then plan to get away as a couple and spend a weekend, just the two of you\u2014I say, \u201cjust the two of you\u201d; there will be hundreds of other couples with you\u2014I\u2019m talking about spending time at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. This is a great, fun, romantic getaway where couples can just pull aside from the day to day\/from everything that\u2019s going on around you, and just say: \u201cHow are we doing? How can we grow? How can we do better?\u201d <br><br>I know some couples come to these getaways, and they are in a tough spot\u2014they are wondering if there is any way to make their marriage work. What <em>so many<\/em> of them have found is that, when they understand what the Bible has to say about relationships and when the Holy Spirit begins to move in their hearts and lives, there can be a turnaround. We\u2019ve seen it happen over and over again; but for most of the couples, who are coming, they are in a great spot in their marriage. They just want to do some marriage maintenance and have a great weekend together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up today for an upcoming getaway, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. That offer is available to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners this week and next week, so take advantage of it today. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the getaway. Find out when it\u2019s coming to a city near where you live or a city you\u2019d like to visit, and then register online; or if you have any questions or you\u2019d like to register by phone, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY and sign up to attend a FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. We hope to see you at one of these getaways this spring. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about what it is that causes our marriages to drift toward isolation. How do we deal with what the Song of Solomon calls \u201cthe little foxes that spoil the vineyard\u201d? Sharon Jaynes will be back with us again tomorrow. I hope you can be back as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305687","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305687"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305687"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305687"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305687"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}