{"id":305684,"date":"2020-01-15T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2020-01-15T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy\/"},"modified":"2020-01-15T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-01-15T11:00:04","slug":"song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Song of Solomon: God&#8217;s Picture of Marital Intimacy"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author Sharon Jaynes dives into the Song of Solomon to teach us about biblical romance. By studying the relationship between Solomon and his Shulamite, we get a picture of God&#8217;s design for marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:42","filesize":"23.53M","filesize_raw":"24668846","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2088,2862],"tags":[6816],"podcast_series":[8331],"cwp_profile":[3227],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305684","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-romance-and-sex","category-understanding-differences","tag-lovestruck","podcast_series-lovestruck","cwp_profile-sharon-jaynes","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305684\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305684\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"MWkwkrDfoE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy\/\">Song of Solomon: God&#8217;s Picture of Marital Intimacy<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/song-of-solomon-gods-picture-of-marital-intimacy\/embed\/#?secret=MWkwkrDfoE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Song of Solomon: God&#8217;s Picture of Marital Intimacy&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"MWkwkrDfoE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Author Sharon Jaynes dives into the Song of Solomon to teach us about biblical romance. By studying the relationship between Solomon and his Shulamite, we get a picture of God's design for marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2020-01-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When a man and woman are married, we expect there to be some evidence of marital affection\/mutual affection being displayed in that marriage. That was not the experience Sharon Jaynes had in her family of origin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>In my family, I had a really distorted view of what that looked like; because my parents argued all the time. I <em>never<\/em> saw them hug; I <em>never<\/em> saw them kiss, and I didn\u2019t know that that\u2019s what married people did. It took\u2014I think I was about 12 years old; I went to a friend of mine\u2019s home, and I saw Mr. and Mrs. Henderson hug and kiss each other. They had little pet names for each other. That was the first time I\u2019d <em>really<\/em> seen affection between a husband and wife and <em>knew<\/em> that it could be different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInterestingly enough, my family\u2014not Christians\u2014that family was Christian. I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t know why that family\u2019s so different from mine, but I know it has something to do with Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, January 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. How much is marital affection on display in our marriage?\u2014and what does that say about the state of our marriage?\u2014what\u2019s that saying to our kids about what marriage should look like?\u2014and what\u2019s it saying to our neighbors about our walk with Jesus? We\u2019re going to explore all of that today with Sharon Jaynes. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You know, I think we just need to say, right here, at the outset\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh boy. I wonder where we\u2019re going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Me too! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s important for married couples to understand that, when it comes to love in marriage, that intimacy, and passion, and romance\u2014they\u2019re not the most important thing in your marriage\u2014but they\u2019re not nothing, either. We can sometimes emphasize that passion and romance are kind of secondary. I\u2019ve heard somebody say, \u201cWhen it comes to marriage, passion is nice but not necessary; commitment is necessary and not always nice\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But there\u2019s <em>something<\/em> that God has included\u2014in terms of marital love, and passion, and romance\u2014that is a part of His grand design for the marriage relationship to be all that He intends for it to be, and so we need to talk about that from time to time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>If God included it, it must be important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is one of the things we talk about, regularly, at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. Right now, I just want to remind our listeners\u2014you have an opportunity to sign up to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and save \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 percent off the regular registration fee.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s a deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It is a deal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>It really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>By the way, there\u2019s a money-back guarantee anyway\u2014so you come and if, for whatever reason, you say, \u201cIt didn\u2019t do it for us,\u201d\u2014we\u2019ll give you your money back. But if you want to sign up now for any of the upcoming spring getaways, you can save \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 percent off the regular registration fee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to hear from you this week, so call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get information. Find out when it\u2019s coming to a city near where you live or a city you\u2019d like to travel to on a weekend that works for you; then get registered and save money. Just tell them you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener and you want to take advantage of the special offer. Again, the number to call is 1-800-FL-TODAY; or if you have any questions about the getaway\/you want to find out more, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and all of the information is available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>We went to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage conference two weeks before we got married. I was 19 years old. As we sat in that session, it was the first time I had ever heard God\u2019s plan for intimacy in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019d never heard it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It was transforming for my life, because I was inundated with so much of the world\u2019s culture and view. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It changed everything for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s hope that we can have a transforming impact on listeners this week. Sharon Jaynes is joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. It\u2019s been awhile; welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Thank you. It\u2019s good to be back here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sharon is an author and a speaker\u2014one of the founders of Proverbs 31 Ministries. You continue to write and speak with them; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>She is a married mother of one, who just got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right, last summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What was that like for you, mom, to hand your son off to a daughter-in-law?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>It was awesome. [Laughter] It really was, especially after coming off of writing this book and being focused on marriage for the past 18 months; then to watch it happen, it was just wonderful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You took a deep dive into Song of Solomon to write the book, <em>Lovestruck<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s the book you\u2019re talking about. The subtitle is <em>Discovering God\u2019s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon<\/em>. The Bible is candid on this subject, and we don\u2019t want to be inappropriate; but we also don\u2019t want to shy away from what the Bible talks openly about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right. It was really a surprise for me, writing the book, because I\u2019d read the Song of Solomon before. A lot of times, I would read it as an allegory of Jesus and how He loved me\/how Jesus loved the bride. But then, when I started really studying it\u2014and actually, it was through Proverbs 31\u2014they were going through on the First 5 App, doing Bible studies all the way through the Bible. They got to the Song of Solomon and people are like, \u201cHmm; not sure I want to do this one.\u201d [Laughter] They\u2019re like: \u201cLet\u2019s call Sharon! She\u2019ll write about this!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote four little short Bible studies for the app, and then I just fell in love with the book. Once I started deciphering what those words really meant, I myself was going, \u201cIs this really in the Bible?\u201d I couldn\u2019t believe\u2014it was very explicit, but not illicit. It was very sensual, but not sordid at all. The code words that they use\u2014I call them code words\u2014make it just so beautiful! Yet it\u2019s very revealing\u2014like I say, it\u2019s very explicit of what\u2019s going on, once you understand what those words mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I started asking myself, \u201cWhy did God make sure that this book was in the Bible?\u201d The reason is He wants us to see it; He wants us to <em>know<\/em> His design for physical intimacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Most of us, our picture of marital intimacy is not first formed by Scripture. It\u2019s first formed by what we see in the home we grow up in as we watch our mom and dad interact and we look at how they express love to one another. I\u2019m not talking about what they do in private; I\u2019m talking about what we see in public.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, with my own mom and dad, seeing times when my dad would make an affectionate gesture toward my mom\u2014to reach out, hold her hand or something\u2014and she\u2019d kind of pull back. My mom was pretty no-nonsense\u2014like: \u201cIf you\u2019re going to say you love me, I want to see it in all of your actions, not just in these tender little affectionate things you do. I want to see your life lived the right way.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was tension that I observed between my mom and dad in terms of what their romantic relationship looked like. You saw some of that in your family, growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>I did. Before I tell you that, I want to just say, too, that yes, we see it in our families, but what is forming a person\u2019s view of sexuality now, so much, is just the culture itself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>I mean, even a young boy, before he graduates from high school, will see 14,000 depictions of that just on television alone; so we\u2019re getting that from the culture probably even more than in the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in my family, I had a really distorted view of what that looked like. Honestly, Bob, I didn\u2019t know what it looked like, <em>period<\/em>; because my parents argued all the time. I <em>never<\/em> saw them hug; I <em>never<\/em> saw them kiss, and I didn\u2019t know that that\u2019s what married people did. It took\u2014I think I was about 12 years old; I went to a friend of mine\u2019s home\u2014she lived on the next block, Wanda Henderson\u2014and I saw Mr. and Mrs. Henderson hug and kiss each other. They had little pet names for each other. That was the first time I\u2019d <em>really<\/em> seen affection between a husband and wife and <em>knew<\/em> that it could be different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInterestingly enough, my family\u2014not Christians\u2014that family was Christian. I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t know why that family is so different from mine, but I know it has something to do with Jesus.\u201d Here we have this Christian family\u2014he\u2019s loving on his daughters, but he is loving his wife\/called her Gertrude\u2014we have no idea why he called her Gertrude\u2014but they had little pet names for each other. Seeing that love between the husband and the wife, and their affection toward each other, is one of the things that pulled me to Christ; because I got to see that, and I\u2019d never seen it before. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, which is <em>exactly<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014what it\u2019s supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014supposed to do. I mean, you read the Book of Ephesians; Paul says in Chapter 5 that the marriage is a <em>picture<\/em> of the relationship between God and His bride. You actually saw it, as a 12-year-old little girl; that is just amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>I saw it. I wanted what they had, as far as the joy and the love that they had in their family; but then, when I got married, I wanted that for my marriage too. I\u2019d seen the good, and I\u2019d seen the bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy husband\u2019s parents\u2014<em>they<\/em> were amazing. He had <em>only<\/em> seen a good example of what a marriage should be, so you can imagine we have this combination of coming into the marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how do you think what you saw or didn\u2019t see in your family, how did that impact you as you moved into marriage and as you started to build romance and intimacy with your own husband?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>In the Book of the Song of Solomon, there are two principle people: there\u2019s Solomon; and then there\u2019s what I call the Shulamite, and then her friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that Solomon said\u2014he says, \u201cCatch for us the little foxes.\u201d What he was referring to there is anything that can come in and steal the intimacy or the joy\/the passion from the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my little foxes that I had, when we were dating, grew out of how I was raised; because when my parents would fight\u2014when they would get violent; when I\u2019d hear the yelling, and the screaming, and the swearing\u2014I would go and hide. I would hide in a closet and put my hands over my ears, or I would get in bed and pull the covers up over my head; but I wanted to shut it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you have a grown woman\u2014all of 23 years old\u2014and she\u2019s entering into this relationship with the man, who will become her husband. When we had any tension, I would shut down; because I didn\u2019t want tension. I didn\u2019t want to have a discussion about anything that would make me have that same feeling in my tummy that I had when I was a little girl, so I would shut down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Steve had to do\u2014that was <em>new<\/em> to him\u2014I mean, his parents didn\u2019t shut down; they worked through things\u2014so he had to teach me how to talk about the difficult situations we were having\/to talk it out. That was one of the many things that I had to get over, being brought up the way that I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; Dave, you had a similar experience to what Sharon had growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting here, just going, \u201cOh my goodness; it\u2019s identical,\u201d Ann taught me; because when we got married\u2014I don\u2019t know if you had the same sort of thought process, and I never thought of this until later, but one of the reasons I shut down, when we got married\/when conflict would arise, is because I saw it in my home, growing up; and it was bad. I did the same thing\u2014I went and hid in the bedroom, actually got a pillow and put it over my head; because I didn\u2019t want to hear the yelling\u2014and there was alcohol and that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened when I got married, then, was\u2014I just thought: \u201cThat\u2019s what conflict does. It ends in divorce, so you just avoid it!\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014which I learned is a <em>really<\/em> bad way to handle conflict\u2014[Laughter]\u2014just pretend it\u2019s not going to happen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I married a woman, who came from a family that worked it out; and she\u2019s following me around the house, going, \u201cWhere are you going?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I was as sweet as your husband, Steve, though, Sharon. [Laughter] I said things, \u201cCome back and fight me like a man!\u201d [Laughter] That didn\u2019t go over well, not realizing that so much of our past we carry into the present\/into our marriages. We so often blame our spouse or our situation when it really is tied to the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen your husband, Steve\u2014you open the book with this beautiful story of discovering some letters. Tell us about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Well, his parents were great. When they passed away\u2014his father died first; and then six months later, his mom passed away. We had to clean out their house very quickly; and some things we didn\u2019t have time to go through, so we just put it in my attic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeveral <em>years<\/em> later, I went to go through their things. I pulled out a box from underneath an old wing chair. I pulled back the flap, and in that box were letters that his dad had written to his mom. They started out being written to Mary Ellen Boone, so she was his girlfriend at the time. He had gone into the Army\u2014this was during World War II. I sat down and just read letter after letter of this 19-year-old pouring out his heart and just wooing this woman with pen and ink. It was really written like a 19-year-old would write; it was very precious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, about halfway through the letters, it changed to Mary Ellen Jaynes. He had come home; they had gotten married, and then he was shipped back off to the Aleutian Islands. I realized\u2014in that box there were about 500 letters\u2014what a treasure we had\u2014to see how his parents came together, as husband and wife, and how those first few years he wasn\u2019t even <em>with<\/em> her\/they were apart as he fought the war; but it was such a treasure for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, the Song of Solomon is a lot like that. I start the book with that; because the Song of Solomon\u2014you could read that like letters, saying how a man and a woman are actually pursuing each other. But the letters were so precious to us. Actually, what I did, Ann, I took those 500 letters\u2014and another sister-in-law and I\u2014we made them into books. There are two volumes\u2014I\u2019m talking New York City phonebook thick! [Laughter] We have all the letters, and we gave it to the kids and the grandkids for Christmas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I treasure in the legacy that we have, looking at how that marriage began\u2014and not only that\u2014but when they passed away and had been married over 65 years, they were the same people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You mentioned the parallels between those letters and what we read in the Song of Solomon\u2014and you know this; we\u2019ve talked about this. One of the challenges we have with the Song of Solomon is we know a little bit about Solomon\u2019s love stories\u2014not just story; stories\u2014700wives, 300 concubines; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s kind of the elephant in the room, isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He\u2019s the guy that God says, \u201cI\u2019m going to have you write a book about romantic love in marriage\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, I remember, as a young believer\u2014I hadn\u2019t grown up in the church\u2014so I read this, and I read about his life and his wives, and this discounted the book of Solomon for me for awhile; because I just thought: \u201cI\u2019m going to listen to this guy! He had so many wives; why would I read this?\u201d A lot of women will ask that question. Sharon, how do you answer that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019re going to throw this right at you, Sharon Just tackle that one! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Listen; they have already asked me, and I do talk it about it in the book\u2014that this is the elephant in the room. When a devotion runs or when I right an article for someone, this is the kind of feedback I get from women\u2014they\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019m not going to read that!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut listen, this is what it shows me: Solomon, at the time, was considered the wisest man on earth. He asked God for wisdom; God gave him wisdom\u2014people came from far and wide to hear his wisdom\u2014yet, he failed. The one thing God told him not to do was not to marry other women or take in women from other nations and worship their gods. The wisest man on earth failed and disobeyed God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat that shows me is: \u201cIf the wisest man on earth can do that, any of us are susceptible.\u201d A lot of those wives, of course, were for political reasons. Every time he conquered a nation, he got a wife; but a lot of them weren\u2019t\u2014there were not 700 nations. It just is a <em>warning<\/em> to me that even the wisest among us is susceptible to falling away from God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You know, the other thought that came to me is that women have incredible influence over their husbands, good or bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think some women can feel like, \u201cI don\u2019t have a voice in my husband\u2019s life; he doesn\u2019t listen to me.\u201d Look at Solomon, the wisest man in the world, and yet he was influenced in a negative way to worship other gods.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We don\u2019t know whether he is writing his own story or whether he\u2019s writing romantic love poetry\u2014I mean, he is talking about the king and the Shulamite. It\u2019s not necessarily historical; it could be love poetry that we\u2019re reading here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Could it be his first wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>People say that it can be. But here\u2019s what we <em>do<\/em> need to know. Regardless of the questions that we have, we need to know that God wanted this book in the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>The Bible starts with marriage in the Garden [of Eden]; it ends with marriage with Jesus and the church. Jesus\u2019 first miracle was at a wedding. He made sure, this little book, between Ecclesiastes and Isaiah, was eight chapters that focuses on romance and marriage. Regardless of who that writer was, who do we say wrote the Bible? We say, you know, \u201cGod really wrote the Bible; a man was holding the pen,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. We can\u2019t <em>negate<\/em> the Song of Solomon because of his past; because if we believe that the Bible\u2019s the inerrant Word of God, God\u2019s the one, actually, that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014is the author.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>\u2014is the author of it; and He made sure it was in there for a reason.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it paints a glorious, beautiful, wonderful, warm, romantic, passionate picture of God\u2019s design for marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>You know, I started off by saying romance and passion aren\u2019t everything; but if you have a marriage, where you would say: \u201cThis husband and wife\u2014they love each other, and they care for each other, and they do nice things for one another\u2014the romance and passion is drained out of that marriage; they don\u2019t have that in their marriage,\u201d we would go, \u201cThere\u2019s something wrong there.\u201d They <em>can\u2019t<\/em> have the kind of marriage God <em>wants<\/em> us to have unless this component is a part of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I\u2019ve met couples, who have kind of said, \u201cWe\u2019ve shut that aspect of marriage off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I go, \u201cYou can\u2019t have the joy and the glory that God wants us to have in marriage if you just say, \u2018We\u2019re not going to make romance, and intimacy, and passion a part of what we\u2019re all about.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and I think it\u2019s pretty exciting, actually, to think that God puts\u2014like you were saying, Sharon\u2014God puts this in the Bible, which means a couple things. One, like you were saying, Bob, this is a very, very important part of marriage. It\u2019s a <em>very<\/em> important part, and God <em>wants<\/em> it to be a very important part. He actually gives us sort of a manual to say, \u201cHere\u2019s how it can be exciting as I\u2019d like it to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I\u2019m not sitting here, saying, \u201cIt\u2019s going to be fireworks for 40 years in your marriage\u201d; but man oh man, God designed it\/He created it; and then He says: \u201cLet Me give you some instruction,\u201d and \u201cIf you follow this, it\u2019s going to bring a lot more passion, and romance, and intimacy in your marriage than typically will happen if you just try to do it your own way. If you do it My way, here\u2019s what it could look like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what\u2019s exciting to think about; let\u2019s look at these eight chapters and say: \u201cOkay, what did He say? What can we learn from this story that Solomon wrote down for us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and I think it\u2019s important for us as well\u2014and we\u2019ve talked about this today\u2014what you\u2019re modeling for your kids and for your neighbors in terms of a loving relationship being on display\u2014what you\u2019re modeling for the 12-year-old from around the corner, who comes over to your house and sees you kissing and hugging each other\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014what you\u2019re modeling for your own kids, like Steve saw with his mom and dad\/your husband, as he\u2019s growing up\u2014you\u2019re sowing seeds either for good or for ill in the hearts of the next generation that will either help them thrive and experience oneness and joy in their marriage, or you\u2019re sowing seeds that can create conflict in their marriage and can take them off-course when it comes to God\u2019s design and His purpose for marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>We need to know that the children are watching. At the beginning of the program, you mentioned that your dad would reach for your mom\u2019s hand, and she would pull away. How old were you when you noticed that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I was six\/seven years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>See, you were that young; and you\u2019re noticing that. I know that, when Steven was was a teenager, he would <em>love<\/em> it when [they] would hug and kiss around his friends. That gives a child so much security, and they <em>are<\/em> looking to see how their parents are reacting toward one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting how we all remember that. My dad would come home every day from work; and almost every single day he would grab my mom and <em>passionately<\/em> kiss her. She\u2019s flushed; she\u2019s like, \u201cOh, honey, you know the kids are here.\u201d [Laughter] But as a young girl, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s pretty <em>amazing<\/em>,\u201d and I loved it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love that you thought, as a 12-year-old, \u201cI want that in my marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m hoping that listeners, who would say, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve let the passion atrophy in our marriage,\u201d because that can happen. You get kids; job\u2019s busy; you know, you travel and all\u2014you can just kind of say, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to worry about that\u201d; then, all of a sudden, you wake up and you go, \u201cWe\u2019re not one like we\u2019re supposed to be one.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m hoping they\u2019ll do two things. First of all, get a copy of your book, <em>Lovestruck<\/em>, and read it together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I thought you were going to say, \u201c\u2026and kiss.\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s what I thought you were going to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That would be good, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>That\u2019s the first one in the book, after all!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And kiss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon: <\/strong>\u201cKiss me, kiss me again!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>At the end of Chapter 1, if you\u2019re not kissing, you\u2019re in trouble. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I hope they\u2019ll come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. You spend a weekend together, thinking about your marriage\/talking together about your marriage, listening to what the Bible has to say about how to build a stronger marriage. I\u2019ve just seen it happen <em>so many times<\/em>\u2014couples come away from that weekend\u2014on Friday night, we see them; and they\u2019re just kind of winding down. It\u2019s been a busy week, and they\u2019re a little separate from one another. By Sunday morning, they are hand in hand, or arm in arm, or sitting closer to one another. You can tell it\u2019s been a great weekend; and then they tell us, \u201cThis weekend has had an impact on our marriage.\u201d In some cases, \u201cThis weekend has saved our marriage.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, we\u2019re making a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. You can sign up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014or if you don\u2019t know which getaway you want to attend, you can get a gift card to attend <em>any<\/em> getaway\u2014and you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee by signing up this week. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information on when the getaway is coming to a city near where you live or a city you\u2019d like to visit, and then register online; or call us to register at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you register this week, you save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Plan to join us; plan to build some affection and romance back into your marriage by spending a weekend together. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the getaway, or register by phone by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t forget Sharon\u2019s book, <em>Lovestruck: Discovering God\u2019s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon<\/em>. That book is available, online, as well at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to talk about romance and marriage with Sharon Jaynes. We\u2019re going to talk about the power of attraction\/the art of attraction. What does the Bible have to say about being attractive to one another in a marriage relationship? We\u2019ll continue our conversation tomorrow. I hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2020 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305684"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305684"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305684"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305684"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}