{"id":305627,"date":"2019-12-20T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-12-20T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back\/"},"modified":"2019-12-20T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-12-20T11:00:05","slug":"two-steps-forward-one-step-back","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Steps Forward, One Step Back"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adoption hasn&#8217;t been an easy journey for the Douglass family. Judy Douglass shares the realities of raising a rebellious child, and how she continues to be amazed at God&#8217;s continued work in Josh&#8217;s life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-20.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:11","filesize":"26.73M","filesize_raw":"28023217","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2841,2839],"tags":[4296],"podcast_series":[8325],"cwp_profile":[3198],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305627","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-attitude-problems","tag-prodigals","podcast_series-when-you-love-a-prodigal","cwp_profile-judy-douglass","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305627\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305627\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"HhQ5fKLjND\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back\/\">Two Steps Forward, One Step Back<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-steps-forward-one-step-back\/embed\/#?secret=HhQ5fKLjND\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Two Steps Forward, One Step Back&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"HhQ5fKLjND\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Steve and Judy Douglass remember clearly the night their son Josh became angry and violent. The police were called in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>The police came; he ran. A policewoman chased him down, and he\u2019s about to hit her. She said: \u201cSon, don\u2019t do that. I don\u2019t want to hurt you.\u201d He put his hammer down, and he went with them. He went to JDC in his handcuffs. He called about three in the morning; he said, \u201cCan you come get me out of this place?!\u201d \u201cNo, we can\u2019t.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What do you do, as parents, when the son you love wants to walk away from you and from Jesus? How do you respond? We\u2019ll talk with Judy Douglass about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are hearing, this week, a powerful story about a mom and a dad, and two sisters, who reached out in love to a new brother, who came into the family, and found challenges along the way. Judy Douglass is joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Judy, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy is the Director of Women\u2019s Resources for Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You guys know a little bit about Cru; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We were on Cru staff for 15 years\u2014some of the best years of our life\u2014when we first got married. It was awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have stayed connected with Cru over the years, both with your involvement with FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014because FamilyLife is a division of Cru\u2014but also with working with Athletes in Action and chaplains in the NFL\u2014many of those guys are Cru connected; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; most of the chaplains in the NFL are Athletes in Action staff. We support Cru staff members financially and prayerfully. We <em>love<\/em> this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> And we love that! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy and Steve\u2014when did you join staff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Nineteen sixty-four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Today, Steve is the president of Cru International\/Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You guys have been faithful for decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have been sharing with us, this week, the story of your son Josh, who\u2014you were foster parents for Josh for a couple of years; then, had the opportunity to adopt him. You knew that he had scars. You didn\u2019t know how those scars would manifest themselves during his adolescent years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe spent a year-and-a-half in a residential program, because he was acting out so much that he couldn\u2019t stay in school. You guys had to do something. When he graduated from that residential program and came back into your home, were you thinking: \u201cOkay; it\u2019s going to work now. Things are going to be okay from this point on\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Mostly, I was thinking, \u201cThings were going to be better\u201d; and it was. I would say, for the next six months, he really was doing well, wanting to walk with God. He\u2019d made a genuine decision and commitment of his life. I ended up homeschooling him for the next semester to get him up to grade with the program they\u2019d used in the program he was in. He did okay. We had special things to make up for his lack of academic prowess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was committed to him in a way that I hadn\u2019t been. He felt that; he knew it\u2014we became close. The downside of that was that my husband and daughters lost out\u2014not totally\u2014but it did pull me, emotionally, away from them some and focused on Josh. Some of that was necessary, because he required <em>so much<\/em> attention. When I started homeschooling him, it put us together a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Looking back, would you do that any different?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I would pay more attention, I think, to the fact that I was getting pulled away; so that was a challenge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe did fine, but he begged to go back to school. Finally, with all sorts of: \u201cThese things must be\u2026\u201d\/\u201dThese things must not be\u2026you can go to school.\u201d It took him three weeks to find his old friends, and so he quickly went down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWonderful things would happen; for example, Steve became president. Josh McDowell said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014President of Cru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> \u2014President of Cru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>Josh McDowell said: \u201cI have a gift for you, Steve. I\u2019m going to take your son for a month.\u201d Josh McDowell took Josh for a month. It was incredibly wonderful. They studied Proverbs together; and Josh McDowell made our Josh work, and work, and work. I thought, \u201cHow did you do that?\u201d We still hadn\u2019t figured out how to make him work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019d come home for a while, and he\u2019d do well for a while. His Christian life was: occasional high points, and long low points, and occasional high points. God sent other people into his life to do that\u2014he would grow, and he would profess faith; but he couldn\u2019t live it out very long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, you think about\u2014and my mind went immediately to 1 Corinthians 15, where it says: \u201cDo not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals.\u201d You think about kids, who feel alienated and isolated; when those kids meet other kids, who feel alienated and isolated, it\u2019s like: \u201cAh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cSomebody\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> \u201cFamily! I\u2019m home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cSomebody who thinks like me! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right; it\u2019s: \u201cSomebody who can relate to what I\u2019m going through.\u201d There\u2019s an environment, where alienated and isolated people congregate; that\u2019s not a good environment for any of them to get better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is there any way we, as parents, can control that? Looking back, what would you have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> The way we tried to control\u2014once they\u2019re 16 and get a driver\u2019s license, it becomes almost impossible to control. Now, maybe, you can track them; but then, we couldn\u2019t track them. [Laughter] Those are hard things. He had good times, and he had bad times. In the process, I\u2019m on my knees, calling out to God. I gathered other people to pray with me\u2014I said: \u201cWe can\u2019t make it happen. It\u2019s going to have to be God. Will you join us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor several years\u2014June 2<sup>nd<\/sup> was his spiritual birthday\u2014so I named June 2<sup>nd<\/sup> the Worldwide Prodigal Prayer Day and asked people to pray, with me and us, for Josh; we did that. After about three years of that, God said, \u201cYou know there are a lot of others.\u201d I said, \u201cYes, I know!\u201d He said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you make it a Prodigal Prayer Day for anyone\/everyone?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the beginning of what has become a virtual, online prayer community. There are, right now, 900 people in this group. Any day, you can go onto our website. Most of these people have never met each other. People have posted: \u201cToday, my son went to jail,\u201d or \u201cToday, my son\u2019s coming home from jail; and we\u2019re terrified,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re this,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re that,\u201d \u201cThey\u2019re on drugs,\u201d \u201cThey\u2019re addicted in various ways.\u201d Other people come and pray for them. Many pray; some people actually write out their prayers, which gives hope and encouragement to them. It\u2019s a sweet, sweet place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By the way, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to that website. If folks, who are listening right now, say: \u201cI need someone to pray for me. I need somebody who would just come alongside me in this journey,\u201d you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for the link to the website Judy\u2019s talking about to pray for prodigals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter Josh is back home, and he\u2019s now a teenager, was there a day you\u2019d identify as the darkest day in your journey with him?\u2014a day when you said, \u201cThis was when I thought, \u2018I don\u2019t know if I can do this anymore\u2019\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, there were several. One, he ended up in juvenile detention for a couple of days; because he had his wisdom teeth out, and his pain medication\u2014he decided to take it all. He was out of his mind, and he was going to his car to drive. Steve saying, \u201cNo; I can\u2019t let you go drive in the condition you\u2019re in.\u201d He said, \u201cYou can\u2019t stop me.\u201d He said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to.\u201d He goes and gets a hammer to come and hit Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Steve\u2014Josh\u2019s friend had given Steve a baseball bat, which he\u2019s holding up as he stands beside the car. Josh had called 9-1-1 when he went to get the hammer and he said, \u201cSomebody\u2019s about to get hurt.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He called the police\u2014on himself?! Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He called the police; we\u2019re so glad he did. He didn\u2019t think that, maybe that it was on him; but anyway. We\u2019re out there, trying to keep him from hitting Steve with a hammer, without hitting him, instead, with a baseball bat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe police came; he ran. A policewoman chased him down, and he\u2019s about to hit her. She said: \u201cSon, don\u2019t do that. I don\u2019t want to hurt you.\u201d He put his hammer down and he went with them. He went to JDC in his handcuffs. He called about three in the morning\u2014he said, \u201cCan you come get me out of this place?!\u201d \u201cNo, we can\u2019t. Even if we wanted to, we can\u2019t. You have to stay for the hearing.\u201d It was over a holiday, so he was there for two-and-a-half days when he went to court.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey almost sent him home with us. Steve said, \u201cLook, we\u2019re his parents, and we care; but we\u2019re also the victims here.\u201d Instead, they sent him to Boys Town for three weeks, where he worked the program well, and was Star Guest of the Week twice. Then he was very remorseful and sad that he had done that. It was a time\u2014we\u2019re sad; but oh! What God did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, bring us to what God did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, two parts, then. He [God] met me in helping to understand what is best\u2014not the only thing\u2014but what really makes the difference in loving and caring for these kids, who are hurting in some way\/who are making these destructive choices. I got to know lots, and lots, and lots of them\u2014the parents, mostly. He says, \u201cHow do I respond to you when you sin?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay; there\u2019s mercy; there\u2019s grace. Yes, there\u2019s correction; but I never feel like, \u2018You\u2019re angry at me, Lord. I never feel like You\u2019re going to punish me.\u2019 Yes, there are consequences. Yes, I need boundaries, just like my son needs boundaries.\u201d But He just said\u2014\u201cRomans 2:4 says that \u2018It is with His lovingkindness that He draws us.\u2019\u201d He said to me: \u201cKeep loving him; be kind; show mercy; show grace.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why my book is a book about grace, because that\u2019s what God just said: \u201cI treat you with grace all the time.\u201d He helped me to understand that ways you do boundaries and consequences matter\u2014how you do that. You need them, obviously; that is in this book as well\u2014that message of grace and boundaries done in kindness and love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s important for listeners to hear you saying, \u201cThere are boundaries; there are\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not saying, \u201cWell, you\u2019re in charge of things now.\u201d But you\u2019re saying the way in which those boundaries are established, so that the child always knows that boundary is established by a loving parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s the trickiest part\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, it is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because with prodigals\u2014and I\u2019ve talked to so many parents\u2014they don\u2019t know the balance between the love\/the unconditional love and the boundaries. What you\u2019re saying is you can enforce boundaries as long as it\u2019s done in a way that\u2019s loving and for his best interest, or her best interest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you do with the child who says, \u201cIf you put that boundary up, you don\u2019t love me.\u201d Did Josh ever say to you, \u201cYou don\u2019t love me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He probably said that, yes. You just say, \u201cI do love you,\u201d\u2014which is what God says to us\u2014\u201cI do love you. Do you like what\u2019s happening here?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo,\u201d or \u201cAre there going to be consequences?\u201d\u2014as much as you can, use natural consequences; it\u2019s better than manufactured ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo me, Luke 15 is such a guide to how I respond to a loved prodigal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the parable of the prodigal son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Walk us through that. What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, the son says, \u201cGive me my inheritance,\u201d which meant he [father] had to sell some things\/his property, and diminish his income, and give it to him. He let him go. The son goes out and blows it\u2014spends all his money, lives an extravagantly sinful life, which is basically what \u201cprodigal\u201d means\u2014and then comes to his senses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of that loving them is letting them have to come to their senses, because they began to see the consequences of their own choices. They learn better than if I point out to them\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t say something; but if I\u2019m always saying: \u201cIf you do that\u2026this,\u201d \u201cIf you do that\u2026this,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cYou need to learn these things for yourself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, the father isn\u2019t just: \u201cOh, there he is. He\u2019s coming back. What shall I do? How shall I handle this?\u201d because we want to know: \u201cWhat\u2019s the best way to handle it?\u201d How did he handle it?\u2014he <em>runs<\/em> to him; he <em>throws<\/em> his arms around him; he puts his robe on him. He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve come back!\u201d The son\u2019s trying to say, \u201cPlease forgive me.\u201d He doesn\u2019t even let him; he just says: \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019re home!\u201d He says, \u201cLet\u2019s go have a party.\u201d The older son says, \u201cHow could you do that?\u201d He says: \u201cYour brother was <em>lost<\/em>, and he\u2019s <em>found<\/em>. We have to rejoice.\u201d They need to know how loved and welcomed they will be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You said: \u201cHere\u2019s what God did. The first thing He did was He helped me understand how to put boundaries in place but demonstrate unconditional love in the midst of that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Unconditional love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did God do in Josh\u2019s life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> It took awhile. [Laughter] I would say Josh didn\u2019t really begin to become an adult and live beyond all that until he was 26\/27. He wasn\u2019t always in a terrible place. He married a girl that he was living with for awhile. They had a marriage for seven years; it was never good. Generally, they were trying to make it work. We were very supportive of that\u2014trying to encourage them and keep them going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that started falling apart for a lot of reasons, he almost took his life. He went over to see her when they were apart and said: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I\u2019ll take the blame for everything.\u201d Some of it was his, but some of it was hers. She just said, \u201cI want nothing to do with you,\u201d and slammed the door on him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I get a text from him, saying, \u201cJust pray I go to heaven.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>For an hour, we texted back and forth. I really believe his assurance that I loved him, no matter what, was what\u00a0 kept him from pulling the trigger. That was maybe the hardest thing I lived through with him\u2014was that hour.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy, do you\u2014I mean, listeners are listening and wondering, \u201cWhat is the end of this story?\u201d The end of the story hasn\u2019t been told yet because Josh is working out life; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We look at things today and say, \u201cIt\u2019s not perfect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Everybody, who would like to have there to be a ten-minute Hollywood ending at the end of this\u2014where we go\u2014we ride off into the sunset, and it\u2019s all glorious from here on\u2014that\u2019s just not the way this works; is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you still see God at work in Josh\u2019s life in powerful, new, fresh ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I see God at work in Josh\u2019s life; but I see, even more, God at work in my life because of this and through this. When I talk about this, the main message I give is that God has given me incredible gifts through this child\/this boy\/this man, with whom I have a <em>wonderful<\/em> relationship\u2014and Steve has a wonderful relationship, and my girls do\u2014that\u2019s one big change that\u2019s happened. He\u2019s also a gentle, loving dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe still has lots of areas. Spiritually, he\u2019s got growth needed; spiritually, he\u2019s in a better place by far. He texts me every two or three days and says, \u201cPray for me today,\u201d and tells me something he needs prayer for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> At the end of your book, you have a word from Josh, which was really brave and courageous of him to be able to write. I wanted to read the last couple paragraphs that he wrote. He said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you love someone like me, remember that God is in control. He works it all out in His plan. Keep affirming your prodigals and be firm with them. Look for the good things to say, not just pointing out all that they do wrong. Try to introduce them to people who will be a good influence. Love them consistently and keep praying for them. I always want people to pray that I will keep walking straight. There are so many ways to step off the path. I need God\u2019s help to keep growing, working, and making right choices. So, love your prodigals wherever they are on their journeys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wonder if you guys had said, \u201cI don\u2019t think we can bring Josh into our home,\u201d what trajectory\/what pathway, whether Josh would still be alive today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Absolutely. We pretty much felt, if not for us or someone like us, he would be dead or in jail; those were his only two options. We would\u2019ve missed the incredible gifts that we received as a result. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last chapter of the book is called \u201cGift.\u201d It\u2019s taken you, from all the hard stuff and the learning to trust God in it, to realize God has done a work in your life. Everything He has done is a beautiful gift, so that I think I gained more than Josh has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Which we would all say, as parents: \u201cWe learn more than even our kids learn.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy, thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for sharing the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I\u2019m grateful. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book Judy has been talking about is called <em>When You Love a Prodigal: <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>90 Days of Grace for the Wilderness; Hope and Strength for Your Journey.<\/em> You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Once again, the title of the book: <em>When You Love a Prodigal<\/em>, by Judy Douglass. Order online at <em>FamilyLifeToday.com<\/em>, or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to order your copy of Judy\u2019s book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife is with us today. David, you have some thoughts about the conversation we\u2019ve been having this week with Judy Douglass.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Oh man, it\u2019s such an important conversation\/a good conversation; because it is so often, the conversations I have when I\u2019m interacting with people, who are being touched by FamilyLife. Judy has reminded all of us, this week, that even in the most difficult wilderness journey, like parenting a prodigal, God has a purpose and a plan; and His presence will be <em>there<\/em> with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners recently wrote to us and said: \u201cI have a co-worker with a prodigal child. She started listening to the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> podcast at my suggestion. It\u2019s given her much hope and direction.\u201d That listener went on to talk about her own experience as a <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> listener\u2014she said: \u201cI have personally gained so much insight since I started listening regularly, just four years ago. The lessons I\u2019m learning about how to make our marriage better and how to grow in our relationship with our kids and grandkids has been priceless.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Bob, I am so grateful for stories just like this. I get so excited when I hear about listeners, not only benefitting, but having the heart to pass it on to others. One of the ways that you can bring help and hope to others is by helping to keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on the air, right here, on this station and in this local community. We have an extraordinary opportunity right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do. We have some friends of the ministry, who have come to us and said that they will match every donation we receive, during the month of December, dollar for dollar. The amount of that matching-gift fund has recently increased. It\u2019s gone from $2.5 million to $3 million. We still have a ways to go if we\u2019re going to take full advantage of this matching gift. We\u2019re asking listeners today: \u201cWill you go online and make a yearend donation?\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; it\u2019s easy to give online. Or you can make a simple phone call: 1-800-358-6329; and donate by phone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation of $50 or more, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a new devotional for couples called <em>The Story of Us<\/em>. This has 52 devotions, one a week, for couples to use during the new year. We\u2019d love to send a copy of that new devotional to you. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Please pray for us between now and the end of the year, that God will supply our needs; and hopefully, we can take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship in your local church this weekend as you prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. On Monday, we\u2019re going to hear a conversation I had, not long ago, with Keith and Kristyn Getty, modern hymn writers. Keith was a co-writer on the song, <em>In Christ Alone<\/em>. They\u2019ve written many modern hymns together. We\u2019ll hear about their story: growing up in Ireland, how they met, how they got married. We\u2019ll visit with the Gettys Monday. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:11"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.73M"],"filesize_raw":["28023217"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305627.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305627.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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hasn't been an easy journey for the Douglass family. Judy Douglass shares the realities of raising a rebellious child, and how she continues to be amazed at God's continued work in Josh's life.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Steve and Judy Douglass remember clearly the night their son Josh became angry and violent. The police were called in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>The police came; he ran. A policewoman chased him down, and he\u2019s about to hit her. She said: \u201cSon, don\u2019t do that. I don\u2019t want to hurt you.\u201d He put his hammer down, and he went with them. He went to JDC in his handcuffs. He called about three in the morning; he said, \u201cCan you come get me out of this place?!\u201d \u201cNo, we can\u2019t.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 20<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. What do you do, as parents, when the son you love wants to walk away from you and from Jesus? How do you respond? We\u2019ll talk with Judy Douglass about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are hearing, this week, a powerful story about a mom and a dad, and two sisters, who reached out in love to a new brother, who came into the family, and found challenges along the way. Judy Douglass is joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Judy, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy is the Director of Women\u2019s Resources for Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You guys know a little bit about Cru; don\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We were on Cru staff for 15 years\u2014some of the best years of our life\u2014when we first got married. It was awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You have stayed connected with Cru over the years, both with your involvement with FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014because FamilyLife is a division of Cru\u2014but also with working with Athletes in Action and chaplains in the NFL\u2014many of those guys are Cru connected; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes; most of the chaplains in the NFL are Athletes in Action staff. We support Cru staff members financially and prayerfully. We <em>love<\/em> this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> And we love that! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy and Steve\u2014when did you join staff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Nineteen sixty-four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Today, Steve is the president of Cru International\/Campus Crusade for Christ<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. You guys have been faithful for decades. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have been sharing with us, this week, the story of your son Josh, who\u2014you were foster parents for Josh for a couple of years; then, had the opportunity to adopt him. You knew that he had scars. You didn\u2019t know how those scars would manifest themselves during his adolescent years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe spent a year-and-a-half in a residential program, because he was acting out so much that he couldn\u2019t stay in school. You guys had to do something. When he graduated from that residential program and came back into your home, were you thinking: \u201cOkay; it\u2019s going to work now. Things are going to be okay from this point on\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Mostly, I was thinking, \u201cThings were going to be better\u201d; and it was. I would say, for the next six months, he really was doing well, wanting to walk with God. He\u2019d made a genuine decision and commitment of his life. I ended up homeschooling him for the next semester to get him up to grade with the program they\u2019d used in the program he was in. He did okay. We had special things to make up for his lack of academic prowess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was committed to him in a way that I hadn\u2019t been. He felt that; he knew it\u2014we became close. The downside of that was that my husband and daughters lost out\u2014not totally\u2014but it did pull me, emotionally, away from them some and focused on Josh. Some of that was necessary, because he required <em>so much<\/em> attention. When I started homeschooling him, it put us together a lot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Looking back, would you do that any different?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I would pay more attention, I think, to the fact that I was getting pulled away; so that was a challenge. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe did fine, but he begged to go back to school. Finally, with all sorts of: \u201cThese things must be\u2026\u201d\/\u201dThese things must not be\u2026you can go to school.\u201d It took him three weeks to find his old friends, and so he quickly went down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWonderful things would happen; for example, Steve became president. Josh McDowell said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014President of Cru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> \u2014President of Cru. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>Josh McDowell said: \u201cI have a gift for you, Steve. I\u2019m going to take your son for a month.\u201d Josh McDowell took Josh for a month. It was incredibly wonderful. They studied Proverbs together; and Josh McDowell made our Josh work, and work, and work. I thought, \u201cHow did you do that?\u201d We still hadn\u2019t figured out how to make him work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019d come home for a while, and he\u2019d do well for a while. His Christian life was: occasional high points, and long low points, and occasional high points. God sent other people into his life to do that\u2014he would grow, and he would profess faith; but he couldn\u2019t live it out very long.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, you think about\u2014and my mind went immediately to 1 Corinthians 15, where it says: \u201cDo not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals.\u201d You think about kids, who feel alienated and isolated; when those kids meet other kids, who feel alienated and isolated, it\u2019s like: \u201cAh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cSomebody\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> \u201cFamily! I\u2019m home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cSomebody who thinks like me! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m home.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right; it\u2019s: \u201cSomebody who can relate to what I\u2019m going through.\u201d There\u2019s an environment, where alienated and isolated people congregate; that\u2019s not a good environment for any of them to get better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is there any way we, as parents, can control that? Looking back, what would you have done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> The way we tried to control\u2014once they\u2019re 16 and get a driver\u2019s license, it becomes almost impossible to control. Now, maybe, you can track them; but then, we couldn\u2019t track them. [Laughter] Those are hard things. He had good times, and he had bad times. In the process, I\u2019m on my knees, calling out to God. I gathered other people to pray with me\u2014I said: \u201cWe can\u2019t make it happen. It\u2019s going to have to be God. Will you join us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor several years\u2014June 2<sup>nd<\/sup> was his spiritual birthday\u2014so I named June 2<sup>nd<\/sup> the Worldwide Prodigal Prayer Day and asked people to pray, with me and us, for Josh; we did that. After about three years of that, God said, \u201cYou know there are a lot of others.\u201d I said, \u201cYes, I know!\u201d He said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you make it a Prodigal Prayer Day for anyone\/everyone?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the beginning of what has become a virtual, online prayer community. There are, right now, 900 people in this group. Any day, you can go onto our website. Most of these people have never met each other. People have posted: \u201cToday, my son went to jail,\u201d or \u201cToday, my son\u2019s coming home from jail; and we\u2019re terrified,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re this,\u201d or \u201cThey\u2019re that,\u201d \u201cThey\u2019re on drugs,\u201d \u201cThey\u2019re addicted in various ways.\u201d Other people come and pray for them. Many pray; some people actually write out their prayers, which gives hope and encouragement to them. It\u2019s a sweet, sweet place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> By the way, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to that website. If folks, who are listening right now, say: \u201cI need someone to pray for me. I need somebody who would just come alongside me in this journey,\u201d you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and look for the link to the website Judy\u2019s talking about to pray for prodigals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter Josh is back home, and he\u2019s now a teenager, was there a day you\u2019d identify as the darkest day in your journey with him?\u2014a day when you said, \u201cThis was when I thought, \u2018I don\u2019t know if I can do this anymore\u2019\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, there were several. One, he ended up in juvenile detention for a couple of days; because he had his wisdom teeth out, and his pain medication\u2014he decided to take it all. He was out of his mind, and he was going to his car to drive. Steve saying, \u201cNo; I can\u2019t let you go drive in the condition you\u2019re in.\u201d He said, \u201cYou can\u2019t stop me.\u201d He said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m going to.\u201d He goes and gets a hammer to come and hit Steve. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Steve\u2014Josh\u2019s friend had given Steve a baseball bat, which he\u2019s holding up as he stands beside the car. Josh had called 9-1-1 when he went to get the hammer and he said, \u201cSomebody\u2019s about to get hurt.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He called the police\u2014on himself?! Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He called the police; we\u2019re so glad he did. He didn\u2019t think that, maybe that it was on him; but anyway. We\u2019re out there, trying to keep him from hitting Steve with a hammer, without hitting him, instead, with a baseball bat. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe police came; he ran. A policewoman chased him down, and he\u2019s about to hit her. She said: \u201cSon, don\u2019t do that. I don\u2019t want to hurt you.\u201d He put his hammer down and he went with them. He went to JDC in his handcuffs. He called about three in the morning\u2014he said, \u201cCan you come get me out of this place?!\u201d \u201cNo, we can\u2019t. Even if we wanted to, we can\u2019t. You have to stay for the hearing.\u201d It was over a holiday, so he was there for two-and-a-half days when he went to court.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey almost sent him home with us. Steve said, \u201cLook, we\u2019re his parents, and we care; but we\u2019re also the victims here.\u201d Instead, they sent him to Boys Town for three weeks, where he worked the program well, and was Star Guest of the Week twice. Then he was very remorseful and sad that he had done that. It was a time\u2014we\u2019re sad; but oh! What God did!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, bring us to what God did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, two parts, then. He [God] met me in helping to understand what is best\u2014not the only thing\u2014but what really makes the difference in loving and caring for these kids, who are hurting in some way\/who are making these destructive choices. I got to know lots, and lots, and lots of them\u2014the parents, mostly. He says, \u201cHow do I respond to you when you sin?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOkay; there\u2019s mercy; there\u2019s grace. Yes, there\u2019s correction; but I never feel like, \u2018You\u2019re angry at me, Lord. I never feel like You\u2019re going to punish me.\u2019 Yes, there are consequences. Yes, I need boundaries, just like my son needs boundaries.\u201d But He just said\u2014\u201cRomans 2:4 says that \u2018It is with His lovingkindness that He draws us.\u2019\u201d He said to me: \u201cKeep loving him; be kind; show mercy; show grace.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s why my book is a book about grace, because that\u2019s what God just said: \u201cI treat you with grace all the time.\u201d He helped me to understand that ways you do boundaries and consequences matter\u2014how you do that. You need them, obviously; that is in this book as well\u2014that message of grace and boundaries done in kindness and love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s important for listeners to hear you saying, \u201cThere are boundaries; there are\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re not saying, \u201cWell, you\u2019re in charge of things now.\u201d But you\u2019re saying the way in which those boundaries are established, so that the child always knows that boundary is established by a loving parent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s the trickiest part\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, it is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014because with prodigals\u2014and I\u2019ve talked to so many parents\u2014they don\u2019t know the balance between the love\/the unconditional love and the boundaries. What you\u2019re saying is you can enforce boundaries as long as it\u2019s done in a way that\u2019s loving and for his best interest, or her best interest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What do you do with the child who says, \u201cIf you put that boundary up, you don\u2019t love me.\u201d Did Josh ever say to you, \u201cYou don\u2019t love me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He probably said that, yes. You just say, \u201cI do love you,\u201d\u2014which is what God says to us\u2014\u201cI do love you. Do you like what\u2019s happening here?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo,\u201d or \u201cAre there going to be consequences?\u201d\u2014as much as you can, use natural consequences; it\u2019s better than manufactured ones. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo me, Luke 15 is such a guide to how I respond to a loved prodigal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the parable of the prodigal son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Walk us through that. What do you mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Well, the son says, \u201cGive me my inheritance,\u201d which meant he [father] had to sell some things\/his property, and diminish his income, and give it to him. He let him go. The son goes out and blows it\u2014spends all his money, lives an extravagantly sinful life, which is basically what \u201cprodigal\u201d means\u2014and then comes to his senses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of that loving them is letting them have to come to their senses, because they began to see the consequences of their own choices. They learn better than if I point out to them\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t say something; but if I\u2019m always saying: \u201cIf you do that\u2026this,\u201d \u201cIf you do that\u2026this,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cYou need to learn these things for yourself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, the father isn\u2019t just: \u201cOh, there he is. He\u2019s coming back. What shall I do? How shall I handle this?\u201d because we want to know: \u201cWhat\u2019s the best way to handle it?\u201d How did he handle it?\u2014he <em>runs<\/em> to him; he <em>throws<\/em> his arms around him; he puts his robe on him. He says, \u201cYou\u2019ve come back!\u201d The son\u2019s trying to say, \u201cPlease forgive me.\u201d He doesn\u2019t even let him; he just says: \u201cI\u2019m so glad you\u2019re home!\u201d He says, \u201cLet\u2019s go have a party.\u201d The older son says, \u201cHow could you do that?\u201d He says: \u201cYour brother was <em>lost<\/em>, and he\u2019s <em>found<\/em>. We have to rejoice.\u201d They need to know how loved and welcomed they will be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You said: \u201cHere\u2019s what God did. The first thing He did was He helped me understand how to put boundaries in place but demonstrate unconditional love in the midst of that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Unconditional love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What did God do in Josh\u2019s life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> It took awhile. [Laughter] I would say Josh didn\u2019t really begin to become an adult and live beyond all that until he was 26\/27. He wasn\u2019t always in a terrible place. He married a girl that he was living with for awhile. They had a marriage for seven years; it was never good. Generally, they were trying to make it work. We were very supportive of that\u2014trying to encourage them and keep them going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that started falling apart for a lot of reasons, he almost took his life. He went over to see her when they were apart and said: \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I\u2019ll take the blame for everything.\u201d Some of it was his, but some of it was hers. She just said, \u201cI want nothing to do with you,\u201d and slammed the door on him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I get a text from him, saying, \u201cJust pray I go to heaven.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy: <\/strong>For an hour, we texted back and forth. I really believe his assurance that I loved him, no matter what, was what\u00a0 kept him from pulling the trigger. That was maybe the hardest thing I lived through with him\u2014was that hour.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy, do you\u2014I mean, listeners are listening and wondering, \u201cWhat is the end of this story?\u201d The end of the story hasn\u2019t been told yet because Josh is working out life; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We look at things today and say, \u201cIt\u2019s not perfect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not perfect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Everybody, who would like to have there to be a ten-minute Hollywood ending at the end of this\u2014where we go\u2014we ride off into the sunset, and it\u2019s all glorious from here on\u2014that\u2019s just not the way this works; is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But you still see God at work in Josh\u2019s life in powerful, new, fresh ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I see God at work in Josh\u2019s life; but I see, even more, God at work in my life because of this and through this. When I talk about this, the main message I give is that God has given me incredible gifts through this child\/this boy\/this man, with whom I have a <em>wonderful<\/em> relationship\u2014and Steve has a wonderful relationship, and my girls do\u2014that\u2019s one big change that\u2019s happened. He\u2019s also a gentle, loving dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe still has lots of areas. Spiritually, he\u2019s got growth needed; spiritually, he\u2019s in a better place by far. He texts me every two or three days and says, \u201cPray for me today,\u201d and tells me something he needs prayer for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> At the end of your book, you have a word from Josh, which was really brave and courageous of him to be able to write. I wanted to read the last couple paragraphs that he wrote. He said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you love someone like me, remember that God is in control. He works it all out in His plan. Keep affirming your prodigals and be firm with them. Look for the good things to say, not just pointing out all that they do wrong. Try to introduce them to people who will be a good influence. Love them consistently and keep praying for them. I always want people to pray that I will keep walking straight. There are so many ways to step off the path. I need God\u2019s help to keep growing, working, and making right choices. So, love your prodigals wherever they are on their journeys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You wonder if you guys had said, \u201cI don\u2019t think we can bring Josh into our home,\u201d what trajectory\/what pathway, whether Josh would still be alive today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> Absolutely. We pretty much felt, if not for us or someone like us, he would be dead or in jail; those were his only two options. We would\u2019ve missed the incredible gifts that we received as a result. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last chapter of the book is called \u201cGift.\u201d It\u2019s taken you, from all the hard stuff and the learning to trust God in it, to realize God has done a work in your life. Everything He has done is a beautiful gift, so that I think I gained more than Josh has.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Which we would all say, as parents: \u201cWe learn more than even our kids learn.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Judy, thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for sharing the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong> I\u2019m grateful. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book Judy has been talking about is called <em>When You Love a Prodigal: <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>90 Days of Grace for the Wilderness; Hope and Strength for Your Journey.<\/em> You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Once again, the title of the book: <em>When You Love a Prodigal<\/em>, by Judy Douglass. Order online at <em>FamilyLifeToday.com<\/em>, or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY,\u201d to order your copy of Judy\u2019s book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who is the president of FamilyLife is with us today. David, you have some thoughts about the conversation we\u2019ve been having this week with Judy Douglass.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Oh man, it\u2019s such an important conversation\/a good conversation; because it is so often, the conversations I have when I\u2019m interacting with people, who are being touched by FamilyLife. Judy has reminded all of us, this week, that even in the most difficult wilderness journey, like parenting a prodigal, God has a purpose and a plan; and His presence will be <em>there<\/em> with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners recently wrote to us and said: \u201cI have a co-worker with a prodigal child. She started listening to the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> podcast at my suggestion. It\u2019s given her much hope and direction.\u201d That listener went on to talk about her own experience as a <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> listener\u2014she said: \u201cI have personally gained so much insight since I started listening regularly, just four years ago. The lessons I\u2019m learning about how to make our marriage better and how to grow in our relationship with our kids and grandkids has been priceless.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Bob, I am so grateful for stories just like this. I get so excited when I hear about listeners, not only benefitting, but having the heart to pass it on to others. One of the ways that you can bring help and hope to others is by helping to keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on the air, right here, on this station and in this local community. We have an extraordinary opportunity right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We do. We have some friends of the ministry, who have come to us and said that they will match every donation we receive, during the month of December, dollar for dollar. The amount of that matching-gift fund has recently increased. It\u2019s gone from $2.5 million to $3 million. We still have a ways to go if we\u2019re going to take full advantage of this matching gift. We\u2019re asking listeners today: \u201cWill you go online and make a yearend donation?\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; it\u2019s easy to give online. Or you can make a simple phone call: 1-800-358-6329; and donate by phone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation of $50 or more, we\u2019d love to send you, as a thank-you gift, a new devotional for couples called <em>The Story of Us<\/em>. This has 52 devotions, one a week, for couples to use during the new year. We\u2019d love to send a copy of that new devotional to you. Again, donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Please pray for us between now and the end of the year, that God will supply our needs; and hopefully, we can take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship in your local church this weekend as you prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. On Monday, we\u2019re going to hear a conversation I had, not long ago, with Keith and Kristyn Getty, modern hymn writers. Keith was a co-writer on the song, <em>In Christ Alone<\/em>. They\u2019ve written many modern hymns together. We\u2019ll hear about their story: growing up in Ireland, how they met, how they got married. We\u2019ll visit with the Gettys Monday. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We\u2019ll see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305627"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305627"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305627"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305627"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}