{"id":305617,"date":"2019-12-16T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-12-16T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/helping-walk-through-stress\/"},"modified":"2019-12-16T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-12-16T11:00:04","slug":"helping-walk-through-stress","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-walk-through-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Walk Through Stress"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Steve Argue empowers parents with three new strategies to help their young people have better connections with their family, faith, and world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:30:17","filesize":"27.73M","filesize_raw":"29080057","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2856,2814,2855],"tags":[6808],"podcast_series":[8324],"cwp_profile":[9586],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305617","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-children","category-releasing-your-child","category-teens","tag-parenting-young-adults","podcast_series-growing-with","cwp_profile-steve-argue","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305617\/helping-walk-through-stress","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305617\/helping-walk-through-stress","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"B48nDvpVYO\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-walk-through-stress\/\">Helping Walk Through Stress<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/helping-walk-through-stress\/embed\/#?secret=B48nDvpVYO\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Helping Walk Through Stress&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"B48nDvpVYO\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-16.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-16.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Steve Argue believes that Millennials are getting a bad rap.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> There are 20-somethings\u2014there are some that are playing video games in the basement, and that\u2019s not a good thing necessarily. But most are actually trying to make it. When we laugh at the jokes about Millennials\u2014and avocado toast, and them only speaking in emoji, and things like that\u2014I don\u2019t think we realize how hurtful that is to a generation that is working really, really hard. They\u2019re actually working more hours than ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Helping our sons and daughters move through the transition years and into adulthood\u2014that\u2019s something they still need parents for. Steve Argue is going to help us figure out how to help them with that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you think there is a harder job than navigating teens through the transitional years, being a parent and pointing them in the right direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, you know, our teens were perfect Bob so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh good. Well\u2014 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014for some people, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s hard. No, it is; it is very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think you could call those the worry years\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014of just like: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening?\u201d \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d \u201cI have no idea what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wait; this is an actual live human being you\u2019re dealing with; right? It\u2019s a real person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s the continual thought, \u201cI am messing them up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor life\u201d; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Every parent has thought; haven\u2019t they?\u2014oh, yes; they\u2019ve thought, \u201cMy kids could end up on a counselor\u2019s couch someday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cor in a juvie center; one of the two.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and \u201cIt\u2019s my fault.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got Steve Argue joining us today to help us, as parents, know how to navigate these years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we get into that conversation and introduce Steve, it\u2019s the middle of the month of December; and this is a critical time of year for us, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve been letting our listeners know all month: \u201cWe\u2019re asking for you to make a yearend contribution to help support the ministry of FamilyLife, going into the new year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations this month will determine what FamilyLife is able to do in the year ahead\u2014whether we have to pull back or we can move forward, whether we can continue on our network of radio stations\/on this local radio station. This is an important time of year for you to think about: \u201cDo we want to make a year end contribution to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s also incredible that your donation can be doubled\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, the matching gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014we\u2019ve got a matching gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. We\u2019ve had some friends, who\u2019ve said, \u201cWe\u2019ll match every donation we receive this month, up to a total of $2.5 million\u201d; so anything you give is doubled. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; and we appreciate your support. We look forward to hearing from you, and pray for us\u2014that we\u2019ll be able to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as I said, Steve Argue is joining us today to help us figure out how we stay connected to our kids during the teen years and during their young adult years as well. Steve, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey everybody; great to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And Steve is living in this world and helping\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s an expert! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Oh boy, here we go. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he is helping pastors, and counselors, and folks who work with youth and with emerging adults as part of the Fuller Youth Institute, which is all about helping children and emerging adults. Explain to listeners FYI\u2014that\u2019s what the Fuller Youth Institute\u2014explain to them what that\u2019s all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> We have a chance to study the spiritual lives of young people\u2014from adolescent all the way up through those in their 20s\u2014what we would call emerging adults or young adults. We get a chance to, through that research, hopefully help parents, and ministry leaders, and educators really understand where young people are coming from; because, as you all know, we are all sort of in this boat together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a moving target; right? Whatever worked for us back in the day doesn\u2019t necessarily work for us now. That moving target requires more resource and more support, so we\u2019re trying to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what it <em>feels<\/em> like to us, as parents. It feels like the moving target is moving away\u2014moving away from a spiritual center. We\u2019re watching kids grow up in the church and then say, \u201cYes, there\u2019s not anything found there,\u201d\u2014the research has indicated that. Are we perceiving rightly that either we\u2019re not transmitting stuff well when they\u2019re growing up or something in the culture is pulling them away from Jesus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, you know, it\u2019s probably both. I mean, as you know, it\u2019s probably a pretty complicated story problem. I think what we do see, oftentimes, is we see kids that really are having a hard time articulating their faith; but, when we tell parents, \u201cWell, you need to disciple your kids,\u201d or \u201cYou need to help them with that,\u201d a lot of parents say, \u201cWell, we never had that for us, so we don\u2019t exactly know what that means.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes I find, especially in ministry contexts, there are a lot of parents that just feel like: \u201cOkay, church, now you\u2019re telling me one more thing I don\u2019t do well. I don\u2019t educate my kid well. I don\u2019t socialize them well. They\u2019re on the internet too much. They\u2019re not technologically savvy enough to make it in the world or get into college. Oh, on top of that, you\u2019re not helping them love Jesus very well,\u201d and \u201cAs a parent, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I\u2019m failing them, and I really don\u2019t even know or understand what that means myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor parents, it can be a really challenging time; because you want the <em>best<\/em> for your kids, and you want to be a good parent. At the same time, sometimes there aren\u2019t resources out that really help them take that next step; we make a lot of assumptions at times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Parents can, obviously, get pretty discouraged. I want to know: \u201cWhat does the research say?\u201d I know you open your book, talking about the generation gap; and you say it\u2019s <em>wider<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes; there\u2019s some research out there and some thinking that says, when we think about this idea of intergenerational relationships\u2014that there used to be a time, where the older generation would sort of overlap with the next generation that would overlap with the next generation\u2014and though the generations were different, there was some sense of commonality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re finding in many ways is that it\u2019s no longer intergenerational; it\u2019s intra-generational\u2014meaning that young people are having to reinvent themselves more quickly over their life span. What that means is that the generations aren\u2019t overlapping as much anymore\u2014they\u2019re actually <em>feeling<\/em> the sense of distance\u2014and we probably all can relate to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, when I was in middle school, that I took a typing class. I don\u2019t use a typewriter anymore. The skills and learning that I had, when I was younger, are completely irrelevant to the world that I live in now. I think, as parents, sometimes, we feel this gap, where our kids are involved with technology or ideas that we have no clue what that means; and to get up to speed seems like a full-time job, in and of itself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There has always been a generational shift, I think, from the time of Adam and Eve to the time of Cain and Abel. The world changes; and young people often feel like: \u201cThe world I\u2019m growing up in is not the one my parents grew up in,\u201d and \u201cThe issues are different,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s always been a reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we look at it now and go: \u201cIt just feels like a hyper reality today\u2014like the change that has taken place is bigger and faster than it was a generation ago.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, well, I think it\u2019s true. Like you said, I think there are some just cultural factors associated with that as well. As we look over across history, family units were maybe in a situation, where it was more rural; or they had a chance to really kind of be together. Generations lived with generations. I think what we\u2019re finding now is the atomization of our society is such that people are sort of launching out on their own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what we\u2019re also seeing is, with technology\u2014the beauty and the challenges associated with it\u2014we\u2019re seeing the many ways that young people are having to grow up more quickly. We talk about this idea in the book\u2014of 14 being the new 24\u2014that what was typically something a 24-year-old maybe experienced in their lives, as they were in that particular era or time in their life, is now something that a 14-year-old is having to consider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mentioned the book, and we haven\u2019t talked about the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, yes; sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s a book called <em>Growing With<\/em> that you wrote with your colleague, Kara Powell. It\u2019s a parent\u2019s guide to helping teenagers and young adults thrive in their faith, and their family, and their future. And it\u2019s for us, as moms and dads and for youth leaders, to have a better understanding of how we\u2014it\u2019s not how we pour into the next generation\u2014it\u2019s how we walk alongside the next generation\u2014both of us on journeys\/on spiritual journeys; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> You\u2019re exactly right. My colleague, Kara Powell, who is the Director of the Fuller Youth Institute\u2014she\u2019s also a faculty member with me at Fuller Theological Seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wrote this book for a couple of reasons. One is\u2014we just felt like parents are under-resourced and, also, parents don\u2019t feel like they have a sense of connection with other parents, going through this particular time. Especially in churches, what we find is that there\u2019s tremendous amount of attention given to young people, up to about 18, including their parents. But as soon as 18 hits, the ministry expressions sort of change and, also, parents are sort of forgotten. But parents actually are navigating this third decade of life of parenting in some really unique and challenging ways. I think, a lot of times, parents just feel not sure what to do; but they also feel <em>incredibly<\/em> lonely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that Kara and I did is\u2014we wrote this book for ministry leaders as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Steve, you mention that parents can feel this sense of being alone in this journey, and I\u2019ve heard that teens and young adults are feeling that loneliness as well. Is that true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, I think so. I think this is one of the reasons for <em>Growing With<\/em> is that I think there\u2019s this sense that, as young people grow up, there\u2019s this feeling that parent and child are growing apart. As this growing apart happens, a lot of parents just give up; they start thinking, \u201cWell, I guess that was it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cOur kids don\u2019t need us or want us, so I guess I\u2019ll just pull out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> \u201cThey don\u2019t want us\u201d; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKids are feeling like: \u201cI want you in my life, but I don\u2019t want you to treat me like I\u2019m 13 anymore. We need a different sort of relationship.\u201d This idea of growing with them is to say: \u201cAs young people are growing up, parents must continue to grow as well, so that we can cultivate an ongoing changing-but-beautiful relationship.\u201d Because in the end, we can grow with our kids. I think they want that in different sorts of ways, and I think we want that too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mention in the book that 14 is the new 24\u2014that kids who are 14 are already thinking and acting like 24-year-olds. Then you turn around and say, \u201cAnd 28 is the new 18.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, yes. So 28\u2019s the new 18, which is also true. What we\u2019re finding in the research is that it just takes longer for young people to grow up today. There\u2019s a lot of reasons for this. I think, sometimes, it\u2019s misinterpreted as all 20-somethings are sitting in their parent\u2019s basement, playing video games; and we\u2019ve got to finally get them out, and get them to get a job, and get going; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the reality is that we live in a much more competitive world. Generations ago, a high school diploma could get you a job; you could buy a house; you could raise a family, and you\u2019d be all set. That\u2019s not the case anymore. We\u2019re no longer competing with the person across the street. We\u2019re competing with a person across the world as we live in a global economy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it takes in order for a young person to grow up is much more education\u2014like sometimes, even a college degree isn\u2019t enough; now, students need to get graduate degrees. You have this challenge that young people are feeling of having to be more and more prepared to actually make it in a world that is a bit unkind, along with that, as well. What\u2019s interesting is this\u2014is that, in society as well, a lot of even college-educated young people\u2014their first job\u2014you know what it is; right?\u2014it\u2019s the unpaid internship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Okay; so tell me how a young person is supposed to grow up and make it in the world when more and more companies are saying, \u201cThis is where you start. We\u2019ll pay you in experience\u201d; right? To me, that\u2019s a bit of an injustice; but this is where young people have to start. This is what they\u2019re working with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA number of my colleagues in education, and especially in college, they\u2019re basically telling seniors: \u201cYou need to keep reinventing yourself every couple of years. If you don\u2019t, you will fall behind; and you will not be able to make it in the market that you\u2019re interested in.\u201d So the vigilance and the speed by which we have to somehow make it in this world, if I\u2019m a young person, is quite challenging; and it actually takes longer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, there are 20-something\u2019s\u2014there are some\u2014that are playing video games in the basement, and that\u2019s not a good thing necessarily\u2014but most are actually trying to make it. When we laugh at the jokes about Millennials\u2014and avocado toast, and them only speaking in emoji, and things like that\u2014I don\u2019t think we realize how hurtful that is to a generation that\u2019s working really, really hard. They\u2019re actually working more hours than ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m guessing, based on what you just said about their life\u2014reinventing themselves every two years\u2014they\u2019re under <em>incredible<\/em> stress. As a parent or an older adult, how do we grow with them? How do we come alongside that?\u2014because that\u2019s their reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, so stress and anxiety is through the roof, more and more. Unfortunately, I think what we see in society is that we basically are teaching our children just to cope with it rather than actually stepping back and going: \u201cYou think there\u2019s a problem here?\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWhere\u2019s the rest?\u201d \u201c Where\u2019s the sense of what it means to be human?\u201d and \u201cHow do we help with that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think your question, Dave, is a really good one. I think, as parents, one of the things we actually have to do\u2014and it sounds so simple, but I think it\u2019s really important\u2014is just to lead with empathy. The moment a well-meaning adult says to a young person, \u201cWell, when I was your age\u2026\u201d we just need to realize, in that moment, that\u2019s not a bridge-building phrase for them. That actually is a barrier-building phrase; because they\u2019re going, \u201cWhen you were my age, there wasn\u2019t internet.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The phone still had wires in it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Right; exactly\u2014like you get caught up in the wires; you roll down your windows; the Berlin Wall was still up. It just doesn\u2019t\u2019 equate anymore. I think it\u2019s well-intentioned; but I think we just need to realize that, with empathy, we actually slow down and we try to understand where a young person is coming from and moving in that direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy wife Jen and I\u2014we have a piece of art we put in our family room. It had three words on it to remind us of something really important. It just said, \u201cTell me more.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how important that was for my wife Jen, who\u2019s a counselor, and me in ministry. We have all the answers; we tell people what to do all the time; right?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014including our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe realized that our kids were shutting down when they would come with questions, or challenges, or they didn\u2019t know what to do. We realized that we had to pause. Instead of giving them the answer that we would give, based on our point of view, we actually had to slow down and say, \u201cWell, tell me more about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Years ago, I was leading a high school group of young girls\/young women. I led them, several years, through their high school experience. What I realized is exactly what you\u2019re saying. They barely had time to meet, and to work at their schedules to find a time to meet every week was almost discouraging. I remember, one day, I sat down with them\u2014I said: \u201cYou guys, I thought <em>my<\/em> schedule was crazy. Your schedule is harder than <em>mine<\/em>. What does that feel like to you?\u201d In other words, \u201cTell me more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The whole time, all they talked about was the stress in their lives of school, of sports, of relationship with their parents, relationships with their friends, the pull of the internet and social media. I wanted to cry; and [now] realizing, \u201cWow; you guys carry some heavy burdens and pressures, and there\u2019s really not a lot of places to talk about it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s really easy for an adult or parent to say: \u201cOh, you want to know stress; I\u2019ll tell you stress. I\u2019m trying to pay a mortgage\u2026\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014instead of going, \u201cTell me about your stress.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, both of your points are really great. I mean, what I love about your question is\u2014whatever answer they gave you is awesome; but you\u2019re probably one of the few adults that actually said, \u201cWhat\u2019s that like for you?\u201d; right? For an adult to actually take the time and actually slow down enough to listen is <em>amazing<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really believe that young people are looking for adults in their life that love them with no strings attached. Rather than: \u201cI love you if\u2026\u201d or \u201cAre you going to produce for me?\u201d\u2014just to say: \u201cWhat\u2019s it like? I\u2019m here for you, no matter what.\u201d I think that\u2019s amazing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave, and what you said, too, I think there\u2019s a lot of truth to how we think about this idea of stress and super imposing our impressions on people. I think we do have to stop and ask the empathetic question, and I think you\u2019re dead on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never met a person\u2014young or old\u2014who, if somebody said to them, \u201cTell me more; I want to know more of your story,\u201d they run away. They run like a magnet; and \u201cYou want to grow with somebody?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s how you\u2019re going to grow with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s what I think, for our listeners, is the $64,000 question: \u201cOkay; life is hard for my kids in their 20\u2019s; and yes, they\u2019ve got stress, and pressure, and the economy\u2019s changed, and the pressures are different; and I know they\u2019re going through all this. What matters most to me is that Christ is being formed in them during this season. And I\u2019m not trying to minimize what\u2019s hard for them; but what I care most about is, in the midst of this, that they\u2019re figuring out how to walk with Christ.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know I\u2019m kind of asking you this question and asking for the two-minute answer; but how do we keep that, front and center, as we help our kids navigate this season of life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> What I find interesting\u2014and I think what\u2019s really helpful\u2014is that everything we\u2019ve talked about here actually relates to this idea of faith as well. I believe, and we\u2019ve seen this in the research\u2014not only ours but others\u2014is that I think, as young people are getting older, they\u2019re experiencing the complexities of life. They want to know if the faith that they have can keep up with the complexities of the life that they\u2019re involved in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s important about that is\u2014we talk about this a bit in the book\u2014is that, when we think about this idea of faith\u2014this is going to be longer than a two-minute thing; is that okay?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019m ramping up here. [Laughter] I\u2019m moving into preacher mode; you ready?\u2014okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we think about this idea of faith, sometimes the way we think about it is more like a noun\u2014like: \u201cI have faith,\u201d \u201cI could lose faith,\u201d \u201cWhere did faith go?\u201d \u201cLittle Johnny has to get faith back\u201d; right? When we think of it as an object, then we lose it; and we freak out when someone\/a young person says: \u201cI don\u2019t believe anymore,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t believe in God,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have faith anymore\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut as we look at the Scriptures, I think what we see, oftentimes, is that faith is more than a noun; it actually is a verb. We don\u2019t just have faith; we faith. There\u2019s this element of faith-ing that is associated with it. It\u2019s this dynamic: deconstructing and reconstructing of the way that I grow in my relationship with Jesus. So when that begins to happen, we realize the questions of doubt or struggle are not the enemy of faith. They actually are a friend of faith; because what we\u2019re doing is\u2014we\u2019re letting go of the simplistic understanding of who God is, and we\u2019re developing a deeper more profound sense of who Jesus is, and how Jesus actually is relevant to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you something\u2014young people\u2014if there\u2019s space to actually wrestle with that, they\u2019re actually really open to it. In a different publication that we have through the Fuller Institute, we talk about this idea that the enemy of faith isn\u2019t doubt; it\u2019s silence. It\u2019s the moment in our communities or families when we say: \u201cYou can\u2019t talk about that,\u201d \u201cThat is a taboo subject,\u201d \u201cWe won\u2019t go there,\u201d \u201cHow <em>dare<\/em> you think of that.\u201d As soon as we go there, a young person knows instantly: \u201cI guess this is off limits. I will play the game. I will go through the motions; but as soon as I\u2019m out of the house, I\u2019m going to just do my own thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat if we <em>invited<\/em> the questions and the doubt into our conversations so that there\u2019s a conversation that could begin to help a young person faith?\u2014so that they can discover and see that Jesus is more than capable of handling the most challenging things that come our way. That\u2019s going to take a deeper more profound sense of what our Christian faith is all about, which has to happen in anything that we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t care if it\u2019s mathematics, or a relationship, or whatever we\u2019re working on, we always are developing and growing. The moment we stop, that\u2019s the problem. What I\u2019m excited about\u2014is if we can invite young people into this, we can actually give them space to work these things out; and if they do it in a safe relational environment, including parents, then I think they have a chance to, actually, find some new ways forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was actually thinking about math as you were talking about doing it in all these disciplines. I was thinking: \u201cThere was a season when, as a student, I was memorizing mathematic tables; I was memorizing the multiplication tables. That\u2019s an important foundation for the higher-level thinking about math; that as you go on, I\u2019m told\u2014I never got there\u2014but I\u2019m told the higher-level thinkers are thinking critical theories and they\u2019re thinking about more abstract things and applying. They\u2019re bringing the tools they learned in the multiplication tables to bear on the real-life math issues they\u2019re facing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what you\u2019re suggesting to us is\u2014yes, there\u2019s foundational faith truth that needs to be implanted in a child\u2019s life; but then, for that to be applied in the complexities of life, is going to require more than just reciting the tables; but now thinking: \u201cHow does this fit?\u201d and \u201cHow does this make sense?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really at the heart of what you and your colleague, Kara Powell, have put in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Growing With<\/em>, which is a book that we want to recommend to parents. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The subtitle is <em>Every Parent\u2019s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future<\/em>. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order the book, <em>Growing With<\/em>; or you can call us to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order the book, <em>Growing With<\/em>, from us online; or call to order at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to remind you of something we talked about at the beginning of today\u2019s program; and that is the matching-gift opportunity that we are hoping to take advantage of, here at FamilyLife. With two-and-a-half weeks before the start of a new year, we\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to make a yearend contribution in support of the ministry of FamilyLife. Help us enter the new year ready to move forward\u2014not to pull back in any way\u2014but to actually extend the outreach of this ministry\u2014reach more people more often. You make that happen every time you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, when you make a donation, whatever donation you make will be doubled because of the $2.5 million matching gift that is in place; so would you make a donation today? We\u2019ve made it as easy as we possibly can. Go online to donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Keep in mind your gift today will be matched, dollar for dollar, and will help determine what the outreach of FamilyLife looks like in the year ahead. We hope to hear from you. Pray for us\u2014pray that we would be able to take full advantage of this matching gift, and we appreciate whatever you can do in support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us tomorrow. Steve Argue will be with us again as we continue talking about what we can do, as parents, to help navigate our teens and our young adults through those years with their faith intact. We\u2019ll pick up that conversation tomorrow. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:30:17"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.73M"],"filesize_raw":["29080057"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305617.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305617.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Steve Argue empowers parents with three new strategies to help their young people have better connections with their family, faith, and world.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-12-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Steve Argue believes that Millennials are getting a bad rap.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> There are 20-somethings\u2014there are some that are playing video games in the basement, and that\u2019s not a good thing necessarily. But most are actually trying to make it. When we laugh at the jokes about Millennials\u2014and avocado toast, and them only speaking in emoji, and things like that\u2014I don\u2019t think we realize how hurtful that is to a generation that is working really, really hard. They\u2019re actually working more hours than ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 16<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. You\u2019ll find us online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Helping our sons and daughters move through the transition years and into adulthood\u2014that\u2019s something they still need parents for. Steve Argue is going to help us figure out how to help them with that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you think there is a harder job than navigating teens through the transitional years, being a parent and pointing them in the right direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, you know, our teens were perfect Bob so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh good. Well\u2014 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014for some people, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s hard. No, it is; it is very difficult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think you could call those the worry years\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014of just like: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening?\u201d \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d \u201cI have no idea what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wait; this is an actual live human being you\u2019re dealing with; right? It\u2019s a real person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And it\u2019s the continual thought, \u201cI am messing them up.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor life\u201d; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Every parent has thought; haven\u2019t they?\u2014oh, yes; they\u2019ve thought, \u201cMy kids could end up on a counselor\u2019s couch someday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cor in a juvie center; one of the two.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes, and \u201cIt\u2019s my fault.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve got Steve Argue joining us today to help us, as parents, know how to navigate these years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we get into that conversation and introduce Steve, it\u2019s the middle of the month of December; and this is a critical time of year for us, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. We\u2019ve been letting our listeners know all month: \u201cWe\u2019re asking for you to make a yearend contribution to help support the ministry of FamilyLife, going into the new year.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations this month will determine what FamilyLife is able to do in the year ahead\u2014whether we have to pull back or we can move forward, whether we can continue on our network of radio stations\/on this local radio station. This is an important time of year for you to think about: \u201cDo we want to make a year end contribution to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s also incredible that your donation can be doubled\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, the matching gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014we\u2019ve got a matching gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. We\u2019ve had some friends, who\u2019ve said, \u201cWe\u2019ll match every donation we receive this month, up to a total of $2.5 million\u201d; so anything you give is doubled. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; and we appreciate your support. We look forward to hearing from you, and pray for us\u2014that we\u2019ll be able to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as I said, Steve Argue is joining us today to help us figure out how we stay connected to our kids during the teen years and during their young adult years as well. Steve, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey everybody; great to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And Steve is living in this world and helping\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> He\u2019s an expert! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Oh boy, here we go. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Here we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he is helping pastors, and counselors, and folks who work with youth and with emerging adults as part of the Fuller Youth Institute, which is all about helping children and emerging adults. Explain to listeners FYI\u2014that\u2019s what the Fuller Youth Institute\u2014explain to them what that\u2019s all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> We have a chance to study the spiritual lives of young people\u2014from adolescent all the way up through those in their 20s\u2014what we would call emerging adults or young adults. We get a chance to, through that research, hopefully help parents, and ministry leaders, and educators really understand where young people are coming from; because, as you all know, we are all sort of in this boat together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a moving target; right? Whatever worked for us back in the day doesn\u2019t necessarily work for us now. That moving target requires more resource and more support, so we\u2019re trying to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here\u2019s what it <em>feels<\/em> like to us, as parents. It feels like the moving target is moving away\u2014moving away from a spiritual center. We\u2019re watching kids grow up in the church and then say, \u201cYes, there\u2019s not anything found there,\u201d\u2014the research has indicated that. Are we perceiving rightly that either we\u2019re not transmitting stuff well when they\u2019re growing up or something in the culture is pulling them away from Jesus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, you know, it\u2019s probably both. I mean, as you know, it\u2019s probably a pretty complicated story problem. I think what we do see, oftentimes, is we see kids that really are having a hard time articulating their faith; but, when we tell parents, \u201cWell, you need to disciple your kids,\u201d or \u201cYou need to help them with that,\u201d a lot of parents say, \u201cWell, we never had that for us, so we don\u2019t exactly know what that means.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes I find, especially in ministry contexts, there are a lot of parents that just feel like: \u201cOkay, church, now you\u2019re telling me one more thing I don\u2019t do well. I don\u2019t educate my kid well. I don\u2019t socialize them well. They\u2019re on the internet too much. They\u2019re not technologically savvy enough to make it in the world or get into college. Oh, on top of that, you\u2019re not helping them love Jesus very well,\u201d and \u201cAs a parent, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I\u2019m failing them, and I really don\u2019t even know or understand what that means myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor parents, it can be a really challenging time; because you want the <em>best<\/em> for your kids, and you want to be a good parent. At the same time, sometimes there aren\u2019t resources out that really help them take that next step; we make a lot of assumptions at times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Parents can, obviously, get pretty discouraged. I want to know: \u201cWhat does the research say?\u201d I know you open your book, talking about the generation gap; and you say it\u2019s <em>wider<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes; there\u2019s some research out there and some thinking that says, when we think about this idea of intergenerational relationships\u2014that there used to be a time, where the older generation would sort of overlap with the next generation that would overlap with the next generation\u2014and though the generations were different, there was some sense of commonality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re finding in many ways is that it\u2019s no longer intergenerational; it\u2019s intra-generational\u2014meaning that young people are having to reinvent themselves more quickly over their life span. What that means is that the generations aren\u2019t overlapping as much anymore\u2014they\u2019re actually <em>feeling<\/em> the sense of distance\u2014and we probably all can relate to that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, when I was in middle school, that I took a typing class. I don\u2019t use a typewriter anymore. The skills and learning that I had, when I was younger, are completely irrelevant to the world that I live in now. I think, as parents, sometimes, we feel this gap, where our kids are involved with technology or ideas that we have no clue what that means; and to get up to speed seems like a full-time job, in and of itself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There has always been a generational shift, I think, from the time of Adam and Eve to the time of Cain and Abel. The world changes; and young people often feel like: \u201cThe world I\u2019m growing up in is not the one my parents grew up in,\u201d and \u201cThe issues are different,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s always been a reality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we look at it now and go: \u201cIt just feels like a hyper reality today\u2014like the change that has taken place is bigger and faster than it was a generation ago.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, well, I think it\u2019s true. Like you said, I think there are some just cultural factors associated with that as well. As we look over across history, family units were maybe in a situation, where it was more rural; or they had a chance to really kind of be together. Generations lived with generations. I think what we\u2019re finding now is the atomization of our society is such that people are sort of launching out on their own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think what we\u2019re also seeing is, with technology\u2014the beauty and the challenges associated with it\u2014we\u2019re seeing the many ways that young people are having to grow up more quickly. We talk about this idea in the book\u2014of 14 being the new 24\u2014that what was typically something a 24-year-old maybe experienced in their lives, as they were in that particular era or time in their life, is now something that a 14-year-old is having to consider.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mentioned the book, and we haven\u2019t talked about the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, yes; sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s a book called <em>Growing With<\/em> that you wrote with your colleague, Kara Powell. It\u2019s a parent\u2019s guide to helping teenagers and young adults thrive in their faith, and their family, and their future. And it\u2019s for us, as moms and dads and for youth leaders, to have a better understanding of how we\u2014it\u2019s not how we pour into the next generation\u2014it\u2019s how we walk alongside the next generation\u2014both of us on journeys\/on spiritual journeys; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> You\u2019re exactly right. My colleague, Kara Powell, who is the Director of the Fuller Youth Institute\u2014she\u2019s also a faculty member with me at Fuller Theological Seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe wrote this book for a couple of reasons. One is\u2014we just felt like parents are under-resourced and, also, parents don\u2019t feel like they have a sense of connection with other parents, going through this particular time. Especially in churches, what we find is that there\u2019s tremendous amount of attention given to young people, up to about 18, including their parents. But as soon as 18 hits, the ministry expressions sort of change and, also, parents are sort of forgotten. But parents actually are navigating this third decade of life of parenting in some really unique and challenging ways. I think, a lot of times, parents just feel not sure what to do; but they also feel <em>incredibly<\/em> lonely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that Kara and I did is\u2014we wrote this book for ministry leaders as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Steve, you mention that parents can feel this sense of being alone in this journey, and I\u2019ve heard that teens and young adults are feeling that loneliness as well. Is that true?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, I think so. I think this is one of the reasons for <em>Growing With<\/em> is that I think there\u2019s this sense that, as young people grow up, there\u2019s this feeling that parent and child are growing apart. As this growing apart happens, a lot of parents just give up; they start thinking, \u201cWell, I guess that was it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cOur kids don\u2019t need us or want us, so I guess I\u2019ll just pull out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> \u201cThey don\u2019t want us\u201d; exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKids are feeling like: \u201cI want you in my life, but I don\u2019t want you to treat me like I\u2019m 13 anymore. We need a different sort of relationship.\u201d This idea of growing with them is to say: \u201cAs young people are growing up, parents must continue to grow as well, so that we can cultivate an ongoing changing-but-beautiful relationship.\u201d Because in the end, we can grow with our kids. I think they want that in different sorts of ways, and I think we want that too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mention in the book that 14 is the new 24\u2014that kids who are 14 are already thinking and acting like 24-year-olds. Then you turn around and say, \u201cAnd 28 is the new 18.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, yes. So 28\u2019s the new 18, which is also true. What we\u2019re finding in the research is that it just takes longer for young people to grow up today. There\u2019s a lot of reasons for this. I think, sometimes, it\u2019s misinterpreted as all 20-somethings are sitting in their parent\u2019s basement, playing video games; and we\u2019ve got to finally get them out, and get them to get a job, and get going; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the reality is that we live in a much more competitive world. Generations ago, a high school diploma could get you a job; you could buy a house; you could raise a family, and you\u2019d be all set. That\u2019s not the case anymore. We\u2019re no longer competing with the person across the street. We\u2019re competing with a person across the world as we live in a global economy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it takes in order for a young person to grow up is much more education\u2014like sometimes, even a college degree isn\u2019t enough; now, students need to get graduate degrees. You have this challenge that young people are feeling of having to be more and more prepared to actually make it in a world that is a bit unkind, along with that, as well. What\u2019s interesting is this\u2014is that, in society as well, a lot of even college-educated young people\u2014their first job\u2014you know what it is; right?\u2014it\u2019s the unpaid internship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, yes; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Okay; so tell me how a young person is supposed to grow up and make it in the world when more and more companies are saying, \u201cThis is where you start. We\u2019ll pay you in experience\u201d; right? To me, that\u2019s a bit of an injustice; but this is where young people have to start. This is what they\u2019re working with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA number of my colleagues in education, and especially in college, they\u2019re basically telling seniors: \u201cYou need to keep reinventing yourself every couple of years. If you don\u2019t, you will fall behind; and you will not be able to make it in the market that you\u2019re interested in.\u201d So the vigilance and the speed by which we have to somehow make it in this world, if I\u2019m a young person, is quite challenging; and it actually takes longer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, there are 20-something\u2019s\u2014there are some\u2014that are playing video games in the basement, and that\u2019s not a good thing necessarily\u2014but most are actually trying to make it. When we laugh at the jokes about Millennials\u2014and avocado toast, and them only speaking in emoji, and things like that\u2014I don\u2019t think we realize how hurtful that is to a generation that\u2019s working really, really hard. They\u2019re actually working more hours than ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I\u2019m guessing, based on what you just said about their life\u2014reinventing themselves every two years\u2014they\u2019re under <em>incredible<\/em> stress. As a parent or an older adult, how do we grow with them? How do we come alongside that?\u2014because that\u2019s their reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, so stress and anxiety is through the roof, more and more. Unfortunately, I think what we see in society is that we basically are teaching our children just to cope with it rather than actually stepping back and going: \u201cYou think there\u2019s a problem here?\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWhere\u2019s the rest?\u201d \u201c Where\u2019s the sense of what it means to be human?\u201d and \u201cHow do we help with that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think your question, Dave, is a really good one. I think, as parents, one of the things we actually have to do\u2014and it sounds so simple, but I think it\u2019s really important\u2014is just to lead with empathy. The moment a well-meaning adult says to a young person, \u201cWell, when I was your age\u2026\u201d we just need to realize, in that moment, that\u2019s not a bridge-building phrase for them. That actually is a barrier-building phrase; because they\u2019re going, \u201cWhen you were my age, there wasn\u2019t internet.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The phone still had wires in it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Right; exactly\u2014like you get caught up in the wires; you roll down your windows; the Berlin Wall was still up. It just doesn\u2019t\u2019 equate anymore. I think it\u2019s well-intentioned; but I think we just need to realize that, with empathy, we actually slow down and we try to understand where a young person is coming from and moving in that direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy wife Jen and I\u2014we have a piece of art we put in our family room. It had three words on it to remind us of something really important. It just said, \u201cTell me more.\u201d I can\u2019t tell you how important that was for my wife Jen, who\u2019s a counselor, and me in ministry. We have all the answers; we tell people what to do all the time; right?\u2014[Laughter]\u2014including our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe realized that our kids were shutting down when they would come with questions, or challenges, or they didn\u2019t know what to do. We realized that we had to pause. Instead of giving them the answer that we would give, based on our point of view, we actually had to slow down and say, \u201cWell, tell me more about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Years ago, I was leading a high school group of young girls\/young women. I led them, several years, through their high school experience. What I realized is exactly what you\u2019re saying. They barely had time to meet, and to work at their schedules to find a time to meet every week was almost discouraging. I remember, one day, I sat down with them\u2014I said: \u201cYou guys, I thought <em>my<\/em> schedule was crazy. Your schedule is harder than <em>mine<\/em>. What does that feel like to you?\u201d In other words, \u201cTell me more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes; exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> The whole time, all they talked about was the stress in their lives of school, of sports, of relationship with their parents, relationships with their friends, the pull of the internet and social media. I wanted to cry; and [now] realizing, \u201cWow; you guys carry some heavy burdens and pressures, and there\u2019s really not a lot of places to talk about it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s really easy for an adult or parent to say: \u201cOh, you want to know stress; I\u2019ll tell you stress. I\u2019m trying to pay a mortgage\u2026\u201d\u2014you know?\u2014instead of going, \u201cTell me about your stress.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes, both of your points are really great. I mean, what I love about your question is\u2014whatever answer they gave you is awesome; but you\u2019re probably one of the few adults that actually said, \u201cWhat\u2019s that like for you?\u201d; right? For an adult to actually take the time and actually slow down enough to listen is <em>amazing<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really believe that young people are looking for adults in their life that love them with no strings attached. Rather than: \u201cI love you if\u2026\u201d or \u201cAre you going to produce for me?\u201d\u2014just to say: \u201cWhat\u2019s it like? I\u2019m here for you, no matter what.\u201d I think that\u2019s amazing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDave, and what you said, too, I think there\u2019s a lot of truth to how we think about this idea of stress and super imposing our impressions on people. I think we do have to stop and ask the empathetic question, and I think you\u2019re dead on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ve never met a person\u2014young or old\u2014who, if somebody said to them, \u201cTell me more; I want to know more of your story,\u201d they run away. They run like a magnet; and \u201cYou want to grow with somebody?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s how you\u2019re going to grow with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So here\u2019s what I think, for our listeners, is the $64,000 question: \u201cOkay; life is hard for my kids in their 20\u2019s; and yes, they\u2019ve got stress, and pressure, and the economy\u2019s changed, and the pressures are different; and I know they\u2019re going through all this. What matters most to me is that Christ is being formed in them during this season. And I\u2019m not trying to minimize what\u2019s hard for them; but what I care most about is, in the midst of this, that they\u2019re figuring out how to walk with Christ.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know I\u2019m kind of asking you this question and asking for the two-minute answer; but how do we keep that, front and center, as we help our kids navigate this season of life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> What I find interesting\u2014and I think what\u2019s really helpful\u2014is that everything we\u2019ve talked about here actually relates to this idea of faith as well. I believe, and we\u2019ve seen this in the research\u2014not only ours but others\u2014is that I think, as young people are getting older, they\u2019re experiencing the complexities of life. They want to know if the faith that they have can keep up with the complexities of the life that they\u2019re involved in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s important about that is\u2014we talk about this a bit in the book\u2014is that, when we think about this idea of faith\u2014this is going to be longer than a two-minute thing; is that okay?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> \u2014I\u2019m ramping up here. [Laughter] I\u2019m moving into preacher mode; you ready?\u2014okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we think about this idea of faith, sometimes the way we think about it is more like a noun\u2014like: \u201cI have faith,\u201d \u201cI could lose faith,\u201d \u201cWhere did faith go?\u201d \u201cLittle Johnny has to get faith back\u201d; right? When we think of it as an object, then we lose it; and we freak out when someone\/a young person says: \u201cI don\u2019t believe anymore,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t believe in God,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t have faith anymore\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut as we look at the Scriptures, I think what we see, oftentimes, is that faith is more than a noun; it actually is a verb. We don\u2019t just have faith; we faith. There\u2019s this element of faith-ing that is associated with it. It\u2019s this dynamic: deconstructing and reconstructing of the way that I grow in my relationship with Jesus. So when that begins to happen, we realize the questions of doubt or struggle are not the enemy of faith. They actually are a friend of faith; because what we\u2019re doing is\u2014we\u2019re letting go of the simplistic understanding of who God is, and we\u2019re developing a deeper more profound sense of who Jesus is, and how Jesus actually is relevant to my life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you something\u2014young people\u2014if there\u2019s space to actually wrestle with that, they\u2019re actually really open to it. In a different publication that we have through the Fuller Institute, we talk about this idea that the enemy of faith isn\u2019t doubt; it\u2019s silence. It\u2019s the moment in our communities or families when we say: \u201cYou can\u2019t talk about that,\u201d \u201cThat is a taboo subject,\u201d \u201cWe won\u2019t go there,\u201d \u201cHow <em>dare<\/em> you think of that.\u201d As soon as we go there, a young person knows instantly: \u201cI guess this is off limits. I will play the game. I will go through the motions; but as soon as I\u2019m out of the house, I\u2019m going to just do my own thing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat if we <em>invited<\/em> the questions and the doubt into our conversations so that there\u2019s a conversation that could begin to help a young person faith?\u2014so that they can discover and see that Jesus is more than capable of handling the most challenging things that come our way. That\u2019s going to take a deeper more profound sense of what our Christian faith is all about, which has to happen in anything that we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t care if it\u2019s mathematics, or a relationship, or whatever we\u2019re working on, we always are developing and growing. The moment we stop, that\u2019s the problem. What I\u2019m excited about\u2014is if we can invite young people into this, we can actually give them space to work these things out; and if they do it in a safe relational environment, including parents, then I think they have a chance to, actually, find some new ways forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was actually thinking about math as you were talking about doing it in all these disciplines. I was thinking: \u201cThere was a season when, as a student, I was memorizing mathematic tables; I was memorizing the multiplication tables. That\u2019s an important foundation for the higher-level thinking about math; that as you go on, I\u2019m told\u2014I never got there\u2014but I\u2019m told the higher-level thinkers are thinking critical theories and they\u2019re thinking about more abstract things and applying. They\u2019re bringing the tools they learned in the multiplication tables to bear on the real-life math issues they\u2019re facing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what you\u2019re suggesting to us is\u2014yes, there\u2019s foundational faith truth that needs to be implanted in a child\u2019s life; but then, for that to be applied in the complexities of life, is going to require more than just reciting the tables; but now thinking: \u201cHow does this fit?\u201d and \u201cHow does this make sense?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really at the heart of what you and your colleague, Kara Powell, have put in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Growing With<\/em>, which is a book that we want to recommend to parents. It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. The subtitle is <em>Every Parent\u2019s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future<\/em>. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order the book, <em>Growing With<\/em>; or you can call us to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order the book, <em>Growing With<\/em>, from us online; or call to order at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to remind you of something we talked about at the beginning of today\u2019s program; and that is the matching-gift opportunity that we are hoping to take advantage of, here at FamilyLife. With two-and-a-half weeks before the start of a new year, we\u2019re asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to make a yearend contribution in support of the ministry of FamilyLife. Help us enter the new year ready to move forward\u2014not to pull back in any way\u2014but to actually extend the outreach of this ministry\u2014reach more people more often. You make that happen every time you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, when you make a donation, whatever donation you make will be doubled because of the $2.5 million matching gift that is in place; so would you make a donation today? We\u2019ve made it as easy as we possibly can. Go online to donate at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate over the phone. Keep in mind your gift today will be matched, dollar for dollar, and will help determine what the outreach of FamilyLife looks like in the year ahead. We hope to hear from you. Pray for us\u2014pray that we would be able to take full advantage of this matching gift, and we appreciate whatever you can do in support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us tomorrow. Steve Argue will be with us again as we continue talking about what we can do, as parents, to help navigate our teens and our young adults through those years with their faith intact. We\u2019ll pick up that conversation tomorrow. I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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