{"id":305599,"date":"2019-12-07T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-12-07T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/past-the-grumbling\/"},"modified":"2019-12-07T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-12-07T11:00:04","slug":"past-the-grumbling","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/past-the-grumbling\/","title":{"rendered":"Past the Grumbling"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tricia Goyer shares with Michelle Hill about her parenting experiences. She describes what she&#8217;s done to help her kids move beyond grumbling to expressing thankfulness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2019-12-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:00","filesize":"25.64M","filesize_raw":"26883048","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2841,2850,2806],"tags":[2209],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3034],"series":[10388],"class_list":["post-305599","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-parenting","cwp_profile-tricia-goyer","series-familylife-this-week"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":false,"episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/10\/FLTW-Podcast-Cover-2-1400x1400-1-300x300-1.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305599\/past-the-grumbling","player_link":"https:\/\/dts.podtrac.com\/redirect.mp3\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305599\/past-the-grumbling","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-this-week","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"upnTMzRyp4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/past-the-grumbling\/\">Past the Grumbling<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-this-week\/past-the-grumbling\/embed\/#?secret=upnTMzRyp4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Past the Grumbling&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"upnTMzRyp4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/flw\/flw2019-12-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["http:\/\/d2c17sq0nj1f7e.cloudfront.net\/flw2019-12-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Imagine taking all your children to Build-a-Bear, but the problem is that a thousand other people have the same idea. Can you say, \u201cGrumble and complain?\u201d Here\u2019s Tricia Goyer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> All of us had gone to the mall for the Build-a-Bear day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> The line took forever; I thought, \u201cMaybe a couple of hours,\u201d\u2014no! We were there for nine hours. We were at the threshold\u2014like we were the next ones to go in: me and all this group of kids\u2014after being there all day. We were hungry; we were tired. I could see that the manager came out and was talking with the security guard. I was like, \u201cOh, no!\u201d The manager was like: \u201cMa\u2019am, the mall closes in one hour. We have to get all these people out of here. This is taking a long time. Everyone will get a bear, but you\u2019re not going to get it stuffed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was in that moment where, I mean, if I would have grumbled or complained, all of the kids would have just melted down\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because we were already tired; we had been there all day. It was like, \u201cWe can turn this around.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk about avoiding the meltdowns and getting past the grumbling with Tricia Goyer on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. So, it\u2019s the first weekend of December, and the children in your life are filling out their Christmas lists, and maybe you have one, too. Your tree is up, and the lights are twinkling. Whoops!\u2014that was in your dream, because maybe you haven\u2019t put your tree up. You wanted to get that done last weekend; but you know, those other Christmas-y things got in the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know about you, but Christmas time is about how much I <em>can <\/em>get done. There are the cards and the presents; there\u2019s the food to bake, the house to look cute, the parties to go to, and Build-a-Bear! You know, the more that I do, the more I complain about all that I have to get done or all that I did get done. I complain, and I complain, and I complain. As I look around, pretty much everybody is joining me in harmony on that; right?\u2014yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I recently sat down with Tricia Goyer. She\u2019s an author, speaker, and one of my close friends. What she had to say kind of pricked my heart on this complaining and grumbling that I\u2019ve seen go on in my life. She started noticing complaining in her own life and, actually, in her family. She set out to change those habits in one year. It was a great conversation\u2014very helpful to me! So I hope that it\u2019s helpful to you also. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s my conversation with Tricia Goyer, as she explains the dynamics of her household and how it\u2019s really a hotbed for a lot of complaining and grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, we have 11 people in our house. [Laughter] There is a lot of grumbling!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That is a lot!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> John and I\u2014we have grandma there, who has just turned 90; and then we have\u201419 and down\u20146 kids. Then we had Nathan; which, now, he has his own apartment; but he was living there when we did the grumble-free journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe adopted the younger seven. There\u2019s been a lot of anger, and issues, and stuff with them; but we\u2019ve overcome so much of that! We don\u2019t have those angry outbursts anymore, but there was just a lot of grumbling\u2014like I would tell someone to go do their chores and, \u201cUgg!\u201d\u2014they grumble and they\u2019re stomping in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I tell them something else, and they\u2019re rolling their eyes. You know, every time I put dinner down, someone\u2019s complaining about it. Really, we just got to the point we were like, \u201cWe need to do something.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn and I had been talking about this before; and so we said, \u201cI think this is the time to talk to them.\u201d We just said, \u201cWe think we want to go a year without grumbling.\u201d Some kids are like, \u201cOkay!\u201d; some kids were like, \u201cThere is <em>no way <\/em>that\u2019s going to happen!\u201d They were grumbling about not having to grumble. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did you describe \u201cgrumbling\u201d? Because grumbling, for a 15-year-old, is different than grumbling for a 6-year-old. How did you guys go, \u201cOkay, so this is what you all are doing\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right. When we first sat down\/the very first time, we started memorizing, \u201cDo everything without grumbling or complaining.\u201d I said: \u201cGrumbling\u2014\u2014it\u2019s not just the words. It is the eye rolls; it is the complaining; it is making fun of something if mom tells you to do something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cI mean, it\u2019s just all that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the kids said, \u201cOh! Well, I whine.\u201d Then, someone else said, \u201cWell, I complain.\u201d Then they started each identifying themselves, which I was so surprised, instead of pointing the finger at the other person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am like, \u201cWell, let\u2019s get a white board.\u201d It was totally impromptu. We got a white board, and we wrote each person and their grumbling style. They were like: \u201cMom! You gripe at us.\u201d I was like, \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d I\u2019m known to gripe\u2014like, \u201cPick up your shoes! How can you leave the living room like this?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> It\u2019s just that constant\u2014that\u2019s grumbling, too. I think I\u2019m really directing my children, but I\u2019m not; I\u2019m just complaining.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> You need to have a plan if you\u2019re training and directing them. Really, I was just grumbling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us wrote on the board; and then at dinner that night, they were like, \u201cShow Dad the board!!\u201d [Laughter] We were all talking about ourselves. That really helped, even from the beginning, letting each one know what they\u2019re prone to do. Some will not like outwardly grumble, but they might pull into themselves; they\u2019ll withdraw. They kind of like complain inwardly, like, \u201cI\u2019m just going to go to my room,\u201d\u2014like that type of thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach person knew what their style was and how to watch. We made sure they knew: \u201cThis is not for you to point out in other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cThis is for you to catch yourself.\u201d I think that was <em>really<\/em> important; because otherwise, everyone would be grumbling about everyone grumbling, and we wouldn\u2019t get anywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. That is fascinating to me! I never thought of a grumbling style. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I never thought that; because I know I grumble, but <em>how <\/em>do I grumble? That\u2019s fascinating there\u2014like you said\u2014there are so many other ways. You can turn into yourself; you can eye roll. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere does that come from?\u2014that seed in our heart? Did you guys talk that through with them?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014where that was coming from?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, at first, I thought, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re going to do this year; and we\u2019re going to memorize these verses and do these activities. And then, everyone is going to get better.\u201d Pretty soon, I realized, \u201cNo one is changing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were more aware of it; but then it was me looking at myself like, \u201cWhere did that come from?\u201d One of the things I looked at was like, even, how I was raised. My parents didn\u2019t fight\u2014my mom and my step-dad\u2014but it was stuff like, \u201cOh, I wish we had money to go on vacation,\u201d or \u201cIt must be nice to get a new car.\u201d You know, just that discontent, where we never had enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It was like a passive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cThe grass is always greener on the other side\u201d; but it\u2019s a passive grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What were some of the things that you did with your kids? I know you had mentioned a Bible verse\u2014memorizing. That first month, or that couple of months, is <em>hard<\/em> when you\u2019re trying to change a habit!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Because that\u2019s basically what you\u2019re doing; you\u2019re changing a habit, and you\u2019ve been in this habit for a <em>long <\/em>time. All of a sudden, you have to start pulling that habit in and changing it. What else did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So one of the things I thought is we would have a gratitude jar. If anyone was grumbling, they would, instead of grumbling, they would have to change and write something they were grateful for. It sounds like a great idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> The first time one of the girls\u2014she was 12 at the time\u2014I said, \u201cYou need to go do your chores, please.\u201d She said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do my chores.\u201d She had some excuse why she didn\u2019t want to. I said, \u201cWell, you\u2019re going to have\u2014because you\u2019re grumbling, you\u2019re going to have to go write a gratitude.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want to write a <em>stupid <\/em>gratitude!!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cOh, my goodness!\u201d I am in her room; by the time I follow her downstairs to where the jar is in our kitchen, she had to write nine gratitudes. She kept grumbling; and I kept saying, \u201cThat\u2019s another gratitude.\u201d It was not calming the situation; it was provoking her. By the time she got down there, I am like, \u201cYou have to write it or you\u2019re going to go to bed right after dinner.\u201d \u201cFINE! I\u2019ll write the gratitudes!\u201d She scribbled something and threw them in the jar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like, \u201cOkay; obviously, that did not work.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s a great idea, but I realized later what we did with the gratitude jar wasn\u2019t when we were already feeling thankful\u2014so maybe, after our morning devotions\/after we\u2019ve prayed and thanked God for something\u2014then I\u2019m like, \u201cLet\u2019s write something in the gratitude jar.\u201d It was like capturing those moments when they\u2019re already leaning toward gratefulness. Everyone was excited; they were writing their gratitudes. Later\/I mean, weeks later, we would pull them out and remember what things we were grateful for. Not only\u2014I mean, we did want to try to limit the grumbling\u2014but really, growing the gratitude kind of replaced the grumbling. That really made a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, just probably four months in, my grandma ended up breaking her back. For a while, I\u2019m like: \u201cI don\u2019t even have time to think about this. We just have to help Grandma.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s put it on hold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s put it on hold.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cI want to start grumbling.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, exactly! I mean, I was having to get up in the night with her, because she has dementia. She couldn\u2019t remember her back was broken, so she would try to get out of the bed. You know, every time she got up, we had to put a back brace on. It was like, \u201cI don\u2019t even have time to think about doing this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the amazing thing was that God probably used that more than anything! Here Grandma was\u2014she has a broken back\u2014can\u2019t even use the potty chair most of the time, because it hurt her back so much to get out of bed\u2014but she would be singing there, praising Jesus\u2014praisingJesus<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember\u2014our school room is right next to the bedroom. The girls were like: \u201cWhat\u2019s that? That\u2019s Grandma!\u201d You know, she\u2019d just been home from the hospital a couple of days. She was just praising Jesus like life is perfect, and she has no problems in the world. She had trained herself, through the years\u2014she had hardwired herself for praise. When things got tough, that\u2019s what she defaulted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t like she was grumbling and complaining, which she had every right\u2014she had a broken back, and she couldn\u2019t get out of bed\u2014but she was praising God. So then, after, I realized\/I\u2019m like, \u201cI was thinking I didn\u2019t have time for this. God was like: \u2018Let Me show you! This is an example greater than any of those ideas that you thought would work.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a phone call this morning. I was late to work because I received a phone call from a dear, dear lady. She has been praying for me through this week. This has been a hard week for me\u2014some significant losses in my life. She said: \u201cWhat\u2019s your verse that you\u2019re leaning on this week, Michelle? What are you praising God for? What is that verse?\u2014and does it have praise in it?\u2014because you\u2019re supposed to be praising God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am just like: \u201cOh, Miss Susie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cOh, my goodness!\u201d\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t want to be praising God right now.\u201d She goes, \u201cThat\u2019s not an option, and you know it.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cYou\u2019re right; it\u2019s not an option. That\u2019s\u2014okay; thank you for reminding me.\u201d I had been working through some verses, but she had better verses for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes; it was just such a good example. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, the things that I complain about are usually like a messy house\/noisy kids. Halfway through the year, I\u2019m like: \u201cI just need\u2014instead of letting those\/the frustrations go over and over in my mind, which is like inward grumbling that may not even be coming out\u2014but that inward frustration of, \u201cThe house is always messy,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cYou know what? We have a house! These kids have a home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cThere are shoes all over, but we have shoes!\u201d So even\u2014I mean, just this week\/just today, I\u2019ll see something and I\u2019m like: \u201cUgg! This child left this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026broke this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026did this.\u201d [Laughter] And it\u2019s like: \u201cYou know what? God is at work! And eternity\u2014like we\u2019re working on their hearts\u2014eternity is what matters; it\u2019s not the stuff.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is in that moment\u2014when you\u2019re feeling frustrated, when you\u2019re feeling down, when you\u2019re feeling discouraged\u2014like turning your mind around and: \u201cIt\u2019s not going to help if I grumble. It helps nothing. It doesn\u2019t help me; it doesn\u2019t help the kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if I start praising God, stepping over the shoes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It feels good!\u2014it feels good to grumble sometimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014you know\u2014yes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014it almost is like this power; but then, afterwards, you feel defeated\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014especially when I\u2019m grumbling at the kids. They will sometimes jump to attention, and all of a sudden pick stuff up; because I\u2019m like grumbling. But then, afterwards, no one feels good about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I don\u2019t feel good about it; they don\u2019t feel good about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> For a while there, I was so grumbly, that one of the girls would get up\u2014there are three who share a bedroom upstairs; teenagers\u2014and they\u2019d say, \u201cGo check and see how Mom is doing today.\u201d [Laughter]One would come down to see my attitude, which is a problem, when like some days I don\u2019t let things bother me; and some days I\u2019m grumbling and complaining. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really wasn\u2019t just me trying to help the kids; it was me really working on my heart and \u201cHow do I even approach them, and help them, and guide them, and model for them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, it sounds like what you\u2019re also modeling for them, as a side note, not just grumbling, but some empathy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Because they were realizing: \u201cOh, Mom\u2019s complaining today; something\u2019s not quite right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ve got to go check on her. We have to make sure that she\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Tricia Goyer in Part One of our conversation about grumbling and complaining, where she\u2019s talking about really being able to look at some of this grumbling and complaining and understanding empathy in it and how we care for others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we come back, we\u2019re going to take a look at how to get past that tattle-tale phase of grumbling and complaining and really getting down to the brass tacks. Stay tuned. We\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. I\u2019m talking with Tricia Goyer today about a grumble-free year. Have you thought about a grumble-free year? I\u2019ll tell you, after this conversation with Tricia Goyer, I just might make this my resolution for 2020. You know, maybe you might want to consider that, too. Here\u2019s Part Two of my conversation with Tricia Goyer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When someone would grumble or complain, how did that play out in the house? I mean, were you having someone grumbling\/complaining over here while someone else would say: \u201cHey! So-and-so is\u2026\u201d I mean, was there any tattle-taling going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, we told them they couldn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, okay; that\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> We told them: \u201cYou have to catch yourself. Don\u2019t tell on each other.\u201d I just knew that\u2019s all it would be all day; they would just be telling on everyone else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I tried to do\u2014after a couple of weeks, I\u2019m like: \u201cJust try to control yourself. Change your attitude.\u201d What I realized, though\u2014if I started praising them when they didn\u2019t grumble, that worked a lot better than pointing out when they did;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because there were times I\u2019m like, \u201cThat sounds like grumbling,\u201d or I would say something like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if I started praising them\u2014the one daughter, who would always grumble about her chores\u2014who was the most difficult child we had\u2014one day she was in there, and she was wiping down the kitchen counter. The kitchen\u2019s a mess\u2014I mean, we have a lot of people; there are always dishes and stuff everywhere. But this one part of the counter she had wiped down. I\u2019m like: \u201cWow! You are <em>so mature. <\/em>You did such a great job wiping down that corner of the counter!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore, I would have been like: \u201cYou missed this,\u201d \u201cYou forgot this,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t forget this.\u201d Instead, I went in and just started praising her. All of a sudden, she like perks up; she starts wiping down the rest. She was <em>moving <\/em>stuff and she\u2019s wiping stuff down!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And then, the more I caught her doing that\u2014she would say, \u201cMom! Come look at the kitchen!\u201d I would go in there and say: \u201cWow! You are so mature now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was the one who grumbled the most about her chores; now, she\u2019s the one that does the best job on the kitchen. In fact, I\u2019m so glad when it\u2019s her day\u2014her day is Saturday\u2014because the kitchen gets <em>clean\/<\/em> cleaner than the rest of the week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> It was me catching her and praising her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe kids called me out on that; because before\u2014when I would say: \u201cYou didn\u2019t do this,\u201d or \u201cWhat about this?\u201d\u2014they would say, \u201cYou never say, \u2018Thank you,\u2019\u201d or \u2018You never say we\u2019re doing a good job,\u201d\u2014because I\u2019m always\/you know, I\u2019m running around, trying to get stuff done, making sure they get their chores done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I really try, every time I see them doing their chore: \u201cThank you for doing that.\u201d You can just see that their attitude changes, and they perk up a little bit; because we all like to be thanked, and we all like to be appreciated\u2014just being thankful and having gratitude for what they\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other day, we all went to Bible study. On the way home, I realized like no one fought and argued the whole ten-minute ride. [Laughter] That\u2019s pretty bad!!\u2014I\u2019m excited about ten minutes that no one fought and argued. [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cGuys!\u201d when we stopped the van; I\u2019m like: \u201cYou guys didn\u2019t fight or argue all the way! Great job! You guys are really maturing.\u201d They are like, \u201cOh,\u201d and they all got out of the car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo just trying to catch when they\u2019re doing the right thing\u2014or when they say, \u201cThank you,\u201d or when they\u2019re grateful; or when they\u2019re showing gratitude\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay, this makes a difference.\u201d It makes a bigger change, I think, than trying to catch them grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it sounds like it was a mind flip, also, for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014to be intentional about praising them and thanking them for who they are and what they are doing, and not necessarily looking out for what you can correct\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014but training them that way\u2014training them in a <em>positive<\/em> light.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And it\u2019s more effective\u2014like everyone\u2014it doesn\u2019t really help them if you\u2019re grumbling and complaining when they don\u2019t do things right. Then they feel down about themselves. I mean, sometimes, they might try a little bit harder; but when you\u2019re praising them when they do do something right, they <em>love <\/em>that. They love to know that they\u2019re doing a good job and that mom\u2019s noticing them\/dad\u2019s noticing them. John and I\u2014we both try to catch them when they\u2019re doing something right. That, probably, has been the biggest thing in our house that has made them have positive changes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Did you guys have like a chart or something that you were putting checkmarks by different people\u2019s names or like to keep track of things? Did you guys do that at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, one of the things\u2014I have a friend, who\u2019s a life coach. She really helped me with this, because I feel like I\u2019m stuck\u2014like I\u2019m supposed to be working on this, but I feel like I\u2019m always stuck on all the things that are wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said: \u201cThis is an activity for you. Get a piece of paper, and fold it in half. On one-half of the fold, write all of the things that are going wrong, and then\u201d\u2014you know, after I had that list, it\u2019s like 20 things. I\u2019m like, \u201cI could keep going,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014she was like, \u201cTwenty\u2019s fine. On the other side of the fold, write, for each thing, write one small change that can happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo: \u201cThe house is always a mess,\u201d\u2014I could help the kids organize so we have a good chore system. \u201cI\u2019m tired of being overweight,\u201d\u2014I could start getting up and walking for 30 minutes. It was all the positive changes. She said: \u201cThe first change or the first step might not be the right one, or maybe needs to be altered a little bit; but actually, get your brain thinking in the right direction.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually spent like 20 minutes and made a chore chart. The older girls and the younger kids each rotate through different things. The older rotate between the living room, their upstairs bathroom, and the kitchen. Every day, one does the living room, one cleans the kitchen, and one cleans the bathroom. I laminated it, put it up there, and it\u2019s been there for two-and-a-half years; and it has worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s really neat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so what did you see God do in your household in that year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, that is such a good question. There were some months I\u2019m like: \u201cI don\u2019t even know if we\u2019re changing at all! I can\u2019t see anything!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I bet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> But when I started going back and working on the book\u2014editing it, looking at different chapters\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cWe <em>have<\/em> changed.\u201d I realized, \u201cOh, this child used to grumble every time; now, she doesn\u2019t.\u201d Just different attitude things that I saw with the kids\u2014I realized: \u201cOh! That person\u2019s not doing that anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think the biggest realization was we had gone\/all of us had gone to the mall for Build-a-Bear Day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014where you do $1 per your age. We were like: \u201cThis will be fun! We\u2019ll all get a bear!\u201d The line took forever; I thought, \u201cMaybe a couple of hours,\u201d\u2014no!\u2014nine hours later\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Nine hours later!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> We were there for nine hours. Kids were getting snacks; we were running around. I\u2019m like, \u201cI will take you and go buy you <em>any bear you want <\/em>at Walmart.\u201d [Laughter] But, no! They wanted the Build-a-Bear; they were like <em>there <\/em>for the Build-a-Bear. They stuck it through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we get there, and the last\u2014we were at the threshold; like we were the next ones to go in\u2014me and all this group of kids\u2014after being there <em>all day<\/em>. We were hungry; we were tired. I could see that the manager came out and was talking with the security guards. I was like, \u201cOh, no!\u201d The manager came over; and I\u2019m like, \u201cAre we going to be able to get a bear?\u201d You could just tell something was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> There is this huge line still behind us. The manager was like: \u201cMa\u2019am, the mall closes in one hour; we have to get all these people out of here. This is taking a long time. Everyone will get a bear, but you\u2019re not going to get it stuffed,\u201d\u2014which is like the whole thing about Build-a-Bear!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So after waiting\u2014and we are, literally, the next ones in\u2014like we were on the threshold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So one of the littlest girls started crying. Some of the kids were like: \u201cLet us go in! Make it stop at them [people behind them]!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like\u2014in my mind, I\u2019m like, \u201cGrumble-free\u201d; because we had been working on this. I said: \u201cGuys! This is our opportunity! Remember the grumble-free year? When we\u2019re tired\/when we\u2019re exhausted\u2014like that\u2019s when we\u2019re most prone to grumble. So let\u2019s turn this around. Let\u2019s make it like, \u2018We are the <em>first ones <\/em>to get <em>flat bears<\/em>!\u2019\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then I\u2019m like, \u201cWhich one do you want?!\u201d They started picking them out, and there was still like a little frustration; but there were like people behind us in line, cussing out the manager. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I bet so!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I was like: \u201cLet\u2019s have good attitudes! Let\u2019s show\u2014I mean, they\u2019re tired, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So we went in there and, then, in the car, we did the \u201cBest Day Ever\u201d video and showed on Facebook Live\u2014like: \u201cLook at our <em>flat bears<\/em>!!\u201d We made a joke out of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Later\/a couple weeks later, John took them back to the mall; and they were able to fill those bears. It was in that moment [of disappointment] where, I mean, if I would have grumbled or complained, all of the kids would have just melted down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because we were already tired. We had been there all day; but it was like, \u201cWe can turn this around.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust that moment, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, my goodness! This <em>has <\/em>made a difference; because we\u2019ve been working on it, and talking about it, and what to do differently when you\u2019re tired, and exhausted, and hungry.\u201d Because it had been part of our vocabulary and our language for\u2014what?\u2014nine months at this point, we knew that we could turn it around; and they did. So that was like, \u201cOkay, this is <em>so <\/em>different.\u201d If that had happened, like week one, it would have been a disaster! [Laughter] So it just made me realize, \u201cAnything that we need to train our kids on\u2014like with persistent work\u2014it can make a difference.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it shows the power of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> This is something that you saw in His Word. You were like: \u201cOkay; well, He\u2019s convicting my heart. I better teach my kids this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And you guys were just like, \u201cOkay, this is what we\u2019re going to do,\u201d\u2014and step one, step two, step three, step four\u2014God is faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Through your persistence and through you guys training your children, He is faithful. Now, do you still have grumble-free kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> They\u2019re not grumble-free, but we are <em>a lot <\/em>better! I would say we are a lot better. And usually, I will say\u2014because sometimes, it\u2019s stuff like my little guy still can\u2019t tie his shoes: \u201cI can\u2019t get these shoes on!\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cThat kind of sounds like a grumble. How can you turn that around and ask for help?\u201d So he\u2019ll say, \u201cCan you help me with my shoes?\u201d It\u2019s still making them aware of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> But I\u2019m not like getting onto them like: \u201cYou\u2019re grumbling! We have a book about this! You can\u2019t grumble anymore.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s more just like maybe redirecting\u2014a lot of it is: \u201cCan you ask for help? Tell me about what you\u2019re feeling bad about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So it like opens up the communication without picking on them, because they grumble. And then, sometimes, I still grumble. They\u2019re like, \u201cMom!!\u201d And I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, yeah, right! Sorry!\u201d\u2014which is apologizing. I have to go back to them over, and over, and over again: \u201cI am <em>so sorry<\/em> I was <em>so<\/em> grumbly this morning! Will you forgive me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And that was a huge thing, too, because all of us were playing on an even playing field. It wasn\u2019t me against them, or me training them; it was like, \u201cI am working on this, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow! What a great reminder from Tricia Goyer on grumbling and complaining. How often do you grumble and complain? You know, I think, as we read the Bible, we think of the Israelites and how they grumbled and complained. And they get sort of a\u2014I don\u2019t want to say they get a pass, because they really don\u2019t get a pass\u2014but that\u2019s who we think about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Jesus spoke about this, too. He said, \u201cDo not grumble among yourselves.\u201d And later on in the New Testament, Paul spoke against this; so did James and Jude. This is a bad habit to be mindful of. It\u2019s not just a habit; it\u2019s really a sin against God. You know, as Tricia had to go back to her children and ask for forgiveness, we need to go back to God and ask for forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as you look forward into the near future, maybe this is a New Year\u2019s resolution. Maybe 2020 needs to be the grumble-free year for you; maybe this is the year that we turn our complaining into joy and thankfulness for what God has done. I want to leave you with this verse\u2014it\u2019s a verse by King David, in Psalm 68:19: \u201cBlessed be the Lord. Day after day, He bears our burdens. God is our salvation.\u201d You know, therefore, we have no need to complain or grumble in any circumstance. He\u2019s got our backs, for now and for always. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey! Coming up next week, we\u2019re going to be talking about preparing for Christmas with your pocketbook. Just how are you planning to pay for, you know, the remote-controlled helicopter that Joey asked for?\u2014or the drone that your big brother asked for?\u2014or maybe it\u2019s the designer bag <em>you<\/em> asked for! We\u2019re going to talk about that and more next week, so I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, who is grumbling no more; thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator, all who are not complaining anymore either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:00"],"show_notes":[""],"filesize":["25.64M"],"filesize_raw":["26883048"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305599.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305599.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Goyer shares with Michelle Hill about her parenting experiences. She describes what she's done to help her kids move beyond grumbling to expressing thankfulness.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/flw\/flw2019-12-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Imagine taking all your children to Build-a-Bear, but the problem is that a thousand other people have the same idea. Can you say, \u201cGrumble and complain?\u201d Here\u2019s Tricia Goyer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> All of us had gone to the mall for the Build-a-Bear day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> The line took forever; I thought, \u201cMaybe a couple of hours,\u201d\u2014no! We were there for nine hours. We were at the threshold\u2014like we were the next ones to go in: me and all this group of kids\u2014after being there all day. We were hungry; we were tired. I could see that the manager came out and was talking with the security guard. I was like, \u201cOh, no!\u201d The manager was like: \u201cMa\u2019am, the mall closes in one hour. We have to get all these people out of here. This is taking a long time. Everyone will get a bear, but you\u2019re not going to get it stuffed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was in that moment where, I mean, if I would have grumbled or complained, all of the kids would have just melted down\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because we were already tired; we had been there all day. It was like, \u201cWe can turn this around.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk about avoiding the meltdowns and getting past the grumbling with Tricia Goyer on this edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife This Week. <\/em>I\u2019m Michelle Hill. So, it\u2019s the first weekend of December, and the children in your life are filling out their Christmas lists, and maybe you have one, too. Your tree is up, and the lights are twinkling. Whoops!\u2014that was in your dream, because maybe you haven\u2019t put your tree up. You wanted to get that done last weekend; but you know, those other Christmas-y things got in the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know about you, but Christmas time is about how much I <em>can <\/em>get done. There are the cards and the presents; there\u2019s the food to bake, the house to look cute, the parties to go to, and Build-a-Bear! You know, the more that I do, the more I complain about all that I have to get done or all that I did get done. I complain, and I complain, and I complain. As I look around, pretty much everybody is joining me in harmony on that; right?\u2014yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I recently sat down with Tricia Goyer. She\u2019s an author, speaker, and one of my close friends. What she had to say kind of pricked my heart on this complaining and grumbling that I\u2019ve seen go on in my life. She started noticing complaining in her own life and, actually, in her family. She set out to change those habits in one year. It was a great conversation\u2014very helpful to me! So I hope that it\u2019s helpful to you also. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s my conversation with Tricia Goyer, as she explains the dynamics of her household and how it\u2019s really a hotbed for a lot of complaining and grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, we have 11 people in our house. [Laughter] There is a lot of grumbling!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That is a lot!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> John and I\u2014we have grandma there, who has just turned 90; and then we have\u201419 and down\u20146 kids. Then we had Nathan; which, now, he has his own apartment; but he was living there when we did the grumble-free journey. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe adopted the younger seven. There\u2019s been a lot of anger, and issues, and stuff with them; but we\u2019ve overcome so much of that! We don\u2019t have those angry outbursts anymore, but there was just a lot of grumbling\u2014like I would tell someone to go do their chores and, \u201cUgg!\u201d\u2014they grumble and they\u2019re stomping in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I tell them something else, and they\u2019re rolling their eyes. You know, every time I put dinner down, someone\u2019s complaining about it. Really, we just got to the point we were like, \u201cWe need to do something.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn and I had been talking about this before; and so we said, \u201cI think this is the time to talk to them.\u201d We just said, \u201cWe think we want to go a year without grumbling.\u201d Some kids are like, \u201cOkay!\u201d; some kids were like, \u201cThere is <em>no way <\/em>that\u2019s going to happen!\u201d They were grumbling about not having to grumble. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> How did you describe \u201cgrumbling\u201d? Because grumbling, for a 15-year-old, is different than grumbling for a 6-year-old. How did you guys go, \u201cOkay, so this is what you all are doing\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right. When we first sat down\/the very first time, we started memorizing, \u201cDo everything without grumbling or complaining.\u201d I said: \u201cGrumbling\u2014\u2014it\u2019s not just the words. It is the eye rolls; it is the complaining; it is making fun of something if mom tells you to do something. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cI mean, it\u2019s just all that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the kids said, \u201cOh! Well, I whine.\u201d Then, someone else said, \u201cWell, I complain.\u201d Then they started each identifying themselves, which I was so surprised, instead of pointing the finger at the other person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am like, \u201cWell, let\u2019s get a white board.\u201d It was totally impromptu. We got a white board, and we wrote each person and their grumbling style. They were like: \u201cMom! You gripe at us.\u201d I was like, \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u201d I\u2019m known to gripe\u2014like, \u201cPick up your shoes! How can you leave the living room like this?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> It\u2019s just that constant\u2014that\u2019s grumbling, too. I think I\u2019m really directing my children, but I\u2019m not; I\u2019m just complaining.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> You need to have a plan if you\u2019re training and directing them. Really, I was just grumbling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us wrote on the board; and then at dinner that night, they were like, \u201cShow Dad the board!!\u201d [Laughter] We were all talking about ourselves. That really helped, even from the beginning, letting each one know what they\u2019re prone to do. Some will not like outwardly grumble, but they might pull into themselves; they\u2019ll withdraw. They kind of like complain inwardly, like, \u201cI\u2019m just going to go to my room,\u201d\u2014like that type of thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach person knew what their style was and how to watch. We made sure they knew: \u201cThis is not for you to point out in other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cThis is for you to catch yourself.\u201d I think that was <em>really<\/em> important; because otherwise, everyone would be grumbling about everyone grumbling, and we wouldn\u2019t get anywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right. That is fascinating to me! I never thought of a grumbling style. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I never thought that; because I know I grumble, but <em>how <\/em>do I grumble? That\u2019s fascinating there\u2014like you said\u2014there are so many other ways. You can turn into yourself; you can eye roll. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere does that come from?\u2014that seed in our heart? Did you guys talk that through with them?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014where that was coming from?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, at first, I thought, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re going to do this year; and we\u2019re going to memorize these verses and do these activities. And then, everyone is going to get better.\u201d Pretty soon, I realized, \u201cNo one is changing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were more aware of it; but then it was me looking at myself like, \u201cWhere did that come from?\u201d One of the things I looked at was like, even, how I was raised. My parents didn\u2019t fight\u2014my mom and my step-dad\u2014but it was stuff like, \u201cOh, I wish we had money to go on vacation,\u201d or \u201cIt must be nice to get a new car.\u201d You know, just that discontent, where we never had enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It was like a passive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cThe grass is always greener on the other side\u201d; but it\u2019s a passive grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> What were some of the things that you did with your kids? I know you had mentioned a Bible verse\u2014memorizing. That first month, or that couple of months, is <em>hard<\/em> when you\u2019re trying to change a habit!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Because that\u2019s basically what you\u2019re doing; you\u2019re changing a habit, and you\u2019ve been in this habit for a <em>long <\/em>time. All of a sudden, you have to start pulling that habit in and changing it. What else did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So one of the things I thought is we would have a gratitude jar. If anyone was grumbling, they would, instead of grumbling, they would have to change and write something they were grateful for. It sounds like a great idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> The first time one of the girls\u2014she was 12 at the time\u2014I said, \u201cYou need to go do your chores, please.\u201d She said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do my chores.\u201d She had some excuse why she didn\u2019t want to. I said, \u201cWell, you\u2019re going to have\u2014because you\u2019re grumbling, you\u2019re going to have to go write a gratitude.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want to write a <em>stupid <\/em>gratitude!!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cOh, my goodness!\u201d I am in her room; by the time I follow her downstairs to where the jar is in our kitchen, she had to write nine gratitudes. She kept grumbling; and I kept saying, \u201cThat\u2019s another gratitude.\u201d It was not calming the situation; it was provoking her. By the time she got down there, I am like, \u201cYou have to write it or you\u2019re going to go to bed right after dinner.\u201d \u201cFINE! I\u2019ll write the gratitudes!\u201d She scribbled something and threw them in the jar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like, \u201cOkay; obviously, that did not work.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s a great idea, but I realized later what we did with the gratitude jar wasn\u2019t when we were already feeling thankful\u2014so maybe, after our morning devotions\/after we\u2019ve prayed and thanked God for something\u2014then I\u2019m like, \u201cLet\u2019s write something in the gratitude jar.\u201d It was like capturing those moments when they\u2019re already leaning toward gratefulness. Everyone was excited; they were writing their gratitudes. Later\/I mean, weeks later, we would pull them out and remember what things we were grateful for. Not only\u2014I mean, we did want to try to limit the grumbling\u2014but really, growing the gratitude kind of replaced the grumbling. That really made a difference. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, just probably four months in, my grandma ended up breaking her back. For a while, I\u2019m like: \u201cI don\u2019t even have time to think about this. We just have to help Grandma.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s put it on hold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cLet\u2019s put it on hold.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cI want to start grumbling.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, exactly! I mean, I was having to get up in the night with her, because she has dementia. She couldn\u2019t remember her back was broken, so she would try to get out of the bed. You know, every time she got up, we had to put a back brace on. It was like, \u201cI don\u2019t even have time to think about doing this!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the amazing thing was that God probably used that more than anything! Here Grandma was\u2014she has a broken back\u2014can\u2019t even use the potty chair most of the time, because it hurt her back so much to get out of bed\u2014but she would be singing there, praising Jesus\u2014praisingJesus<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember\u2014our school room is right next to the bedroom. The girls were like: \u201cWhat\u2019s that? That\u2019s Grandma!\u201d You know, she\u2019d just been home from the hospital a couple of days. She was just praising Jesus like life is perfect, and she has no problems in the world. She had trained herself, through the years\u2014she had hardwired herself for praise. When things got tough, that\u2019s what she defaulted to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t like she was grumbling and complaining, which she had every right\u2014she had a broken back, and she couldn\u2019t get out of bed\u2014but she was praising God. So then, after, I realized\/I\u2019m like, \u201cI was thinking I didn\u2019t have time for this. God was like: \u2018Let Me show you! This is an example greater than any of those ideas that you thought would work.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had a phone call this morning. I was late to work because I received a phone call from a dear, dear lady. She has been praying for me through this week. This has been a hard week for me\u2014some significant losses in my life. She said: \u201cWhat\u2019s your verse that you\u2019re leaning on this week, Michelle? What are you praising God for? What is that verse?\u2014and does it have praise in it?\u2014because you\u2019re supposed to be praising God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am just like: \u201cOh, Miss Susie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cOh, my goodness!\u201d\u2014yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cI don\u2019t want to be praising God right now.\u201d She goes, \u201cThat\u2019s not an option, and you know it.\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cYou\u2019re right; it\u2019s not an option. That\u2019s\u2014okay; thank you for reminding me.\u201d I had been working through some verses, but she had better verses for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes; it was just such a good example. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, the things that I complain about are usually like a messy house\/noisy kids. Halfway through the year, I\u2019m like: \u201cI just need\u2014instead of letting those\/the frustrations go over and over in my mind, which is like inward grumbling that may not even be coming out\u2014but that inward frustration of, \u201cThe house is always messy,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cYou know what? We have a house! These kids have a home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u201cThere are shoes all over, but we have shoes!\u201d So even\u2014I mean, just this week\/just today, I\u2019ll see something and I\u2019m like: \u201cUgg! This child left this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026broke this,\u201d or \u201c\u2026did this.\u201d [Laughter] And it\u2019s like: \u201cYou know what? God is at work! And eternity\u2014like we\u2019re working on their hearts\u2014eternity is what matters; it\u2019s not the stuff.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is in that moment\u2014when you\u2019re feeling frustrated, when you\u2019re feeling down, when you\u2019re feeling discouraged\u2014like turning your mind around and: \u201cIt\u2019s not going to help if I grumble. It helps nothing. It doesn\u2019t help me; it doesn\u2019t help the kids.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if I start praising God, stepping over the shoes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> It feels good!\u2014it feels good to grumble sometimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014you know\u2014yes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014it almost is like this power; but then, afterwards, you feel defeated\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes, true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014especially when I\u2019m grumbling at the kids. They will sometimes jump to attention, and all of a sudden pick stuff up; because I\u2019m like grumbling. But then, afterwards, no one feels good about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I don\u2019t feel good about it; they don\u2019t feel good about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> For a while there, I was so grumbly, that one of the girls would get up\u2014there are three who share a bedroom upstairs; teenagers\u2014and they\u2019d say, \u201cGo check and see how Mom is doing today.\u201d [Laughter]One would come down to see my attitude, which is a problem, when like some days I don\u2019t let things bother me; and some days I\u2019m grumbling and complaining. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really wasn\u2019t just me trying to help the kids; it was me really working on my heart and \u201cHow do I even approach them, and help them, and guide them, and model for them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, it sounds like what you\u2019re also modeling for them, as a side note, not just grumbling, but some empathy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Because they were realizing: \u201cOh, Mom\u2019s complaining today; something\u2019s not quite right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u201cWe\u2019ve got to go check on her. We have to make sure that she\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s Tricia Goyer in Part One of our conversation about grumbling and complaining, where she\u2019s talking about really being able to look at some of this grumbling and complaining and understanding empathy in it and how we care for others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we come back, we\u2019re going to take a look at how to get past that tattle-tale phase of grumbling and complaining and really getting down to the brass tacks. Stay tuned. We\u2019ll be back in two minutes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Radio Station Spot Break]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle: <\/strong>Welcome back to <em>FamilyLife This Week<\/em>. I'm Michelle Hill. I\u2019m talking with Tricia Goyer today about a grumble-free year. Have you thought about a grumble-free year? I\u2019ll tell you, after this conversation with Tricia Goyer, I just might make this my resolution for 2020. You know, maybe you might want to consider that, too. Here\u2019s Part Two of my conversation with Tricia Goyer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> When someone would grumble or complain, how did that play out in the house? I mean, were you having someone grumbling\/complaining over here while someone else would say: \u201cHey! So-and-so is\u2026\u201d I mean, was there any tattle-taling going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Well, we told them they couldn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, okay; that\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> We told them: \u201cYou have to catch yourself. Don\u2019t tell on each other.\u201d I just knew that\u2019s all it would be all day; they would just be telling on everyone else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I tried to do\u2014after a couple of weeks, I\u2019m like: \u201cJust try to control yourself. Change your attitude.\u201d What I realized, though\u2014if I started praising them when they didn\u2019t grumble, that worked a lot better than pointing out when they did;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because there were times I\u2019m like, \u201cThat sounds like grumbling,\u201d or I would say something like that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if I started praising them\u2014the one daughter, who would always grumble about her chores\u2014who was the most difficult child we had\u2014one day she was in there, and she was wiping down the kitchen counter. The kitchen\u2019s a mess\u2014I mean, we have a lot of people; there are always dishes and stuff everywhere. But this one part of the counter she had wiped down. I\u2019m like: \u201cWow! You are <em>so mature. <\/em>You did such a great job wiping down that corner of the counter!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore, I would have been like: \u201cYou missed this,\u201d \u201cYou forgot this,\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t forget this.\u201d Instead, I went in and just started praising her. All of a sudden, she like perks up; she starts wiping down the rest. She was <em>moving <\/em>stuff and she\u2019s wiping stuff down!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And then, the more I caught her doing that\u2014she would say, \u201cMom! Come look at the kitchen!\u201d I would go in there and say: \u201cWow! You are so mature now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was the one who grumbled the most about her chores; now, she\u2019s the one that does the best job on the kitchen. In fact, I\u2019m so glad when it\u2019s her day\u2014her day is Saturday\u2014because the kitchen gets <em>clean\/<\/em> cleaner than the rest of the week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> It was me catching her and praising her. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe kids called me out on that; because before\u2014when I would say: \u201cYou didn\u2019t do this,\u201d or \u201cWhat about this?\u201d\u2014they would say, \u201cYou never say, \u2018Thank you,\u2019\u201d or \u2018You never say we\u2019re doing a good job,\u201d\u2014because I\u2019m always\/you know, I\u2019m running around, trying to get stuff done, making sure they get their chores done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I really try, every time I see them doing their chore: \u201cThank you for doing that.\u201d You can just see that their attitude changes, and they perk up a little bit; because we all like to be thanked, and we all like to be appreciated\u2014just being thankful and having gratitude for what they\u2019re doing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other day, we all went to Bible study. On the way home, I realized like no one fought and argued the whole ten-minute ride. [Laughter] That\u2019s pretty bad!!\u2014I\u2019m excited about ten minutes that no one fought and argued. [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cGuys!\u201d when we stopped the van; I\u2019m like: \u201cYou guys didn\u2019t fight or argue all the way! Great job! You guys are really maturing.\u201d They are like, \u201cOh,\u201d and they all got out of the car. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo just trying to catch when they\u2019re doing the right thing\u2014or when they say, \u201cThank you,\u201d or when they\u2019re grateful; or when they\u2019re showing gratitude\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay, this makes a difference.\u201d It makes a bigger change, I think, than trying to catch them grumbling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it sounds like it was a mind flip, also, for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014to be intentional about praising them and thanking them for who they are and what they are doing, and not necessarily looking out for what you can correct\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> \u2014but training them that way\u2014training them in a <em>positive<\/em> light.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And it\u2019s more effective\u2014like everyone\u2014it doesn\u2019t really help them if you\u2019re grumbling and complaining when they don\u2019t do things right. Then they feel down about themselves. I mean, sometimes, they might try a little bit harder; but when you\u2019re praising them when they do do something right, they <em>love <\/em>that. They love to know that they\u2019re doing a good job and that mom\u2019s noticing them\/dad\u2019s noticing them. John and I\u2014we both try to catch them when they\u2019re doing something right. That, probably, has been the biggest thing in our house that has made them have positive changes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Did you guys have like a chart or something that you were putting checkmarks by different people\u2019s names or like to keep track of things? Did you guys do that at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, one of the things\u2014I have a friend, who\u2019s a life coach. She really helped me with this, because I feel like I\u2019m stuck\u2014like I\u2019m supposed to be working on this, but I feel like I\u2019m always stuck on all the things that are wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said: \u201cThis is an activity for you. Get a piece of paper, and fold it in half. On one-half of the fold, write all of the things that are going wrong, and then\u201d\u2014you know, after I had that list, it\u2019s like 20 things. I\u2019m like, \u201cI could keep going,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014she was like, \u201cTwenty\u2019s fine. On the other side of the fold, write, for each thing, write one small change that can happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo: \u201cThe house is always a mess,\u201d\u2014I could help the kids organize so we have a good chore system. \u201cI\u2019m tired of being overweight,\u201d\u2014I could start getting up and walking for 30 minutes. It was all the positive changes. She said: \u201cThe first change or the first step might not be the right one, or maybe needs to be altered a little bit; but actually, get your brain thinking in the right direction.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually spent like 20 minutes and made a chore chart. The older girls and the younger kids each rotate through different things. The older rotate between the living room, their upstairs bathroom, and the kitchen. Every day, one does the living room, one cleans the kitchen, and one cleans the bathroom. I laminated it, put it up there, and it\u2019s been there for two-and-a-half years; and it has worked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s really neat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so what did you see God do in your household in that year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, that is such a good question. There were some months I\u2019m like: \u201cI don\u2019t even know if we\u2019re changing at all! I can\u2019t see anything!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I bet!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> But when I started going back and working on the book\u2014editing it, looking at different chapters\u2014I\u2019m like, \u201cWe <em>have<\/em> changed.\u201d I realized, \u201cOh, this child used to grumble every time; now, she doesn\u2019t.\u201d Just different attitude things that I saw with the kids\u2014I realized: \u201cOh! That person\u2019s not doing that anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think the biggest realization was we had gone\/all of us had gone to the mall for Build-a-Bear Day\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014where you do $1 per your age. We were like: \u201cThis will be fun! We\u2019ll all get a bear!\u201d The line took forever; I thought, \u201cMaybe a couple of hours,\u201d\u2014no!\u2014nine hours later\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Oh, my goodness!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Nine hours later!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> We were there for nine hours. Kids were getting snacks; we were running around. I\u2019m like, \u201cI will take you and go buy you <em>any bear you want <\/em>at Walmart.\u201d [Laughter] But, no! They wanted the Build-a-Bear; they were like <em>there <\/em>for the Build-a-Bear. They stuck it through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we get there, and the last\u2014we were at the threshold; like we were the next ones to go in\u2014me and all this group of kids\u2014after being there <em>all day<\/em>. We were hungry; we were tired. I could see that the manager came out and was talking with the security guards. I was like, \u201cOh, no!\u201d The manager came over; and I\u2019m like, \u201cAre we going to be able to get a bear?\u201d You could just tell something was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> There is this huge line still behind us. The manager was like: \u201cMa\u2019am, the mall closes in one hour; we have to get all these people out of here. This is taking a long time. Everyone will get a bear, but you\u2019re not going to get it stuffed,\u201d\u2014which is like the whole thing about Build-a-Bear!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So after waiting\u2014and we are, literally, the next ones in\u2014like we were on the threshold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Ohhhhh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So one of the littlest girls started crying. Some of the kids were like: \u201cLet us go in! Make it stop at them [people behind them]!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like\u2014in my mind, I\u2019m like, \u201cGrumble-free\u201d; because we had been working on this. I said: \u201cGuys! This is our opportunity! Remember the grumble-free year? When we\u2019re tired\/when we\u2019re exhausted\u2014like that\u2019s when we\u2019re most prone to grumble. So let\u2019s turn this around. Let\u2019s make it like, \u2018We are the <em>first ones <\/em>to get <em>flat bears<\/em>!\u2019\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then I\u2019m like, \u201cWhich one do you want?!\u201d They started picking them out, and there was still like a little frustration; but there were like people behind us in line, cussing out the manager. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> I bet so!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> I was like: \u201cLet\u2019s have good attitudes! Let\u2019s show\u2014I mean, they\u2019re tired, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So we went in there and, then, in the car, we did the \u201cBest Day Ever\u201d video and showed on Facebook Live\u2014like: \u201cLook at our <em>flat bears<\/em>!!\u201d We made a joke out of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Later\/a couple weeks later, John took them back to the mall; and they were able to fill those bears. It was in that moment [of disappointment] where, I mean, if I would have grumbled or complained, all of the kids would have just melted down\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> \u2014because we were already tired. We had been there all day; but it was like, \u201cWe can turn this around.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust that moment, I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, my goodness! This <em>has <\/em>made a difference; because we\u2019ve been working on it, and talking about it, and what to do differently when you\u2019re tired, and exhausted, and hungry.\u201d Because it had been part of our vocabulary and our language for\u2014what?\u2014nine months at this point, we knew that we could turn it around; and they did. So that was like, \u201cOkay, this is <em>so <\/em>different.\u201d If that had happened, like week one, it would have been a disaster! [Laughter] So it just made me realize, \u201cAnything that we need to train our kids on\u2014like with persistent work\u2014it can make a difference.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Well, and it shows the power of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> This is something that you saw in His Word. You were like: \u201cOkay; well, He\u2019s convicting my heart. I better teach my kids this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> And you guys were just like, \u201cOkay, this is what we\u2019re going to do,\u201d\u2014and step one, step two, step three, step four\u2014God is faithful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> Yes, He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Through your persistence and through you guys training your children, He is faithful. Now, do you still have grumble-free kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> They\u2019re not grumble-free, but we are <em>a lot <\/em>better! I would say we are a lot better. And usually, I will say\u2014because sometimes, it\u2019s stuff like my little guy still can\u2019t tie his shoes: \u201cI can\u2019t get these shoes on!\u201d I\u2019m like: \u201cThat kind of sounds like a grumble. How can you turn that around and ask for help?\u201d So he\u2019ll say, \u201cCan you help me with my shoes?\u201d It\u2019s still making them aware of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> But I\u2019m not like getting onto them like: \u201cYou\u2019re grumbling! We have a book about this! You can\u2019t grumble anymore.\u201d [Laughter] It\u2019s more just like maybe redirecting\u2014a lot of it is: \u201cCan you ask for help? Tell me about what you\u2019re feeling bad about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> So it like opens up the communication without picking on them, because they grumble. And then, sometimes, I still grumble. They\u2019re like, \u201cMom!!\u201d And I\u2019m like: \u201cOh, yeah, right! Sorry!\u201d\u2014which is apologizing. I have to go back to them over, and over, and over again: \u201cI am <em>so sorry<\/em> I was <em>so<\/em> grumbly this morning! Will you forgive me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tricia:<\/strong> And that was a huge thing, too, because all of us were playing on an even playing field. It wasn\u2019t me against them, or me training them; it was like, \u201cI am working on this, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michelle:<\/strong> Wow! What a great reminder from Tricia Goyer on grumbling and complaining. How often do you grumble and complain? You know, I think, as we read the Bible, we think of the Israelites and how they grumbled and complained. And they get sort of a\u2014I don\u2019t want to say they get a pass, because they really don\u2019t get a pass\u2014but that\u2019s who we think about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Jesus spoke about this, too. He said, \u201cDo not grumble among yourselves.\u201d And later on in the New Testament, Paul spoke against this; so did James and Jude. This is a bad habit to be mindful of. It\u2019s not just a habit; it\u2019s really a sin against God. You know, as Tricia had to go back to her children and ask for forgiveness, we need to go back to God and ask for forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as you look forward into the near future, maybe this is a New Year\u2019s resolution. Maybe 2020 needs to be the grumble-free year for you; maybe this is the year that we turn our complaining into joy and thankfulness for what God has done. I want to leave you with this verse\u2014it\u2019s a verse by King David, in Psalm 68:19: \u201cBlessed be the Lord. Day after day, He bears our burdens. God is our salvation.\u201d You know, therefore, we have no need to complain or grumble in any circumstance. He\u2019s got our backs, for now and for always. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey! Coming up next week, we\u2019re going to be talking about preparing for Christmas with your pocketbook. Just how are you planning to pay for, you know, the remote-controlled helicopter that Joey asked for?\u2014or the drone that your big brother asked for?\u2014or maybe it\u2019s the designer bag <em>you<\/em> asked for! We\u2019re going to talk about that and more next week, so I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks for listening! I want to thank the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, along with our station partners around the country. And a big \u201cThank you!\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, who is grumbling no more; thanks to our producer, Marques Holt. Justin Adams is our mastering engineer, and Megan Martin is our production coordinator, all who are not complaining anymore either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur program is a production of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and our mission is to effectively develop godly families who change the world one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm Michelle Hill, inviting you to join us again next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife This Week.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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