{"id":305565,"date":"2019-11-29T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-11-29T11:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-complicated-heart\/"},"modified":"2019-11-29T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-11-29T11:00:05","slug":"the-complicated-heart","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-complicated-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"The Complicated Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Sarah Mae became pregnant as a teen, she chose abortion when encouraged by both her grandmothers. But through the shame and sadness, God&#8217;s love still pursued Sarah.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-29.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:49","filesize":"27.3M","filesize_raw":"28630470","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2906,2848,2873],"tags":[2949,5508,6802],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9519,9562],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305565","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-christian","category-cultural-issues","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-abuse","tag-alcoholic-mother","tag-recovering-from-abortion","cwp_profile-kim-anthony","cwp_profile-sarah-mae","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305565\/the-complicated-heart","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305565\/the-complicated-heart","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FV14ErGJix\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-complicated-heart\/\">The Complicated Heart<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-complicated-heart\/embed\/#?secret=FV14ErGJix\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Complicated Heart&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FV14ErGJix\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sarah Mae was a teenager when she learned she was pregnant. It was her grandmother who came and spoke to her, offering her counsel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> She sat down next to me on my bed. She put her arm around me, and she said, \u201cHoney, I really think you should have an abortion because, then, you can go to prom and you can have a life.\u201d She was the first person who showed me love and affection; that I <em>immediately<\/em> was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll have the abortion.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Sarah Mae today about her turbulent teenage years and about how God ultimately worked in her life to turn things around. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve had people ask me over the years, \u201cDo you have a favorite <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> interview that you\u2019ve done?\u201d In, now, two-and-a-half decades of doing this,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you say it was Dave and I? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I went <em>immediately<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was our favorite interview, Bob; I don\u2019t know about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014your interview is exactly the type of interview that\u2019s been a favorite; because my favorite interviews have not been necessarily well-known, big time celebrity people. We\u2019ve had a chance to talk to some amazing people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, thanks Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had a chance to talk to heroes\u2014people who have been spiritual heroes of mine. But the stories of redemption\u2014the stories, where God takes really messy situations and says, \u201cWatch what I can do,\u201d\u2014those have been my favorite interviews over the years\u2014where people have said, \u201cOur story was riddled with dysfunction, with challenge, with bad choices, with wrong decisions; and God did some miraculous things.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour story fits that a little bit, but you love those stories, too; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We all do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, you can ask my wife how often I cry in life, but I cry when I hear redemption stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to hear one of those stories today, and this is not an interview I got to do; or we didn\u2019t get to do this one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is one that our friend, Kim Anthony, did for her podcast, <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>. She had a conversation with Sarah Mae, who has her own podcast called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. In fact, she\u2019s written a book by that title. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah\u2019s story is one of those messy stories. Mom and Dad got a divorce when she was young. She lived with her dad during her early years. When she turned 14, she was kind of wanting a little more freedom. Mom said \u201cWell, you can come live with me.\u201d She went and lived with Mom. Her mom was an alcoholic; she [Sarah] didn\u2019t know it at the time. Sarah gets there, and a month in, she goes, \u201cThis is not a good place to be.\u201d She finds a boyfriend; she winds up pregnant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, as a young teenager, she\u2019s confused. She\u2019s not getting along with her mom; she\u2019s not sure she wants to move back with Dad; and she\u2019s expecting a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014at 16 years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And she described for Kim that she was just assuming she would be a teenage mom. There were a lot of other teenage moms in the school she was attending; so she thought that was what was going to happen until her grandmother came and said, \u201cI can take care of this for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I knew what she was saying, but I didn\u2019t really understand. I didn\u2019t really know what abortion was. What was really difficult, I think, was\u2014so this was in the spring when I found out I was pregnant. I was going to Pennsylvania for the summer, because I would go back with my dad in the summers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I fly back to Pennsylvania; and she [grandmother] wouldn\u2019t look at me, or talk to me, or anything. I became like this outcast. <em>That<\/em> was harder than anything else because I no longer received love. My dad, who loved me and was such a good dad, I think he must have felt pressure from her because he started\u2014he didn\u2019t treat me unkindly, but he just sort of put up a wall\u2014like there was definitely a wall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt just completely utterly alone; but I still was like, \u201cWell, I\u2019m having a baby.\u201d But I was so sick, too, which added onto it\u2014just throwing up morning, noon, and night. There was no morning sickness; it was <em>all day<\/em> sickness. I was so frail and so sick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> So you\u2019re no longer receiving love in your mother\u2019s home; and you go to the people, who have been showing you love all along\u2014your dad\/your grandmother\u2014and now, because you\u2019re pregnant, that love has been removed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; alone. I mean, that\u2019s what it is\u2014like you feel; and you\u2019re 16. I just didn\u2019t even know how to process it. I didn\u2019t think through it. I wasn\u2019t making plans. It was literally just: \u201cI\u2019m pregnant, and I\u2019m alone; and I guess we\u2019ll figure this out.\u201d What started to happen was\u2014everyone tried to convince me what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy grandmother, obviously, wanted me to have an abortion. My stepmom was Catholic; and she wanted me to have the baby and, then, she would raise it like it was my brother or sister, which I was like, \u201cNo; that\u2019s really weird.\u201d Then I was like: \u201cWell, I could do adoption. I know there\u2019s families, who can\u2019t have kids; so why don\u2019t I do that?\u201d But nobody liked that idea either; nobody was listening to me. Nobody ever said: \u201cSarah, how do you feel? What do you want to do?\u201d Again, really confusing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, what happened\u2014I was three months pregnant; and my other grandmother, who lived in Georgia\u2014my mom\u2019s mom\u2014came to visit me. She sat down next to me on my bed. She put her arm around me, and she was so kind\u2014like nobody was touching me, you know what I mean? She puts her arm around me; and she said, \u201cHoney, I really think you should have an abortion because, then, you can go to prom and you can have a life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Oh wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just felt like she was the first person who showed me love and affection; that I <em>immediately<\/em> was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll have the abortion.\u201d One, because I wanted to be back in the fold; I wanted to be loved again. And two, I was just tired. I was tired and sick, and I couldn\u2019t fight it anymore. I was like: \u201cWhatever\u2014whatever you guys want to do. I\u2019ll do whatever makes everybody else happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like this resignation. I told my grandmother from Pennsylvania, who told me she would have it taken care of; and so I was back in the fold. She had a friend, who was a doctor. After he examined me, he said I was way too fidgety for him to perform the abortion in his office or in an abortion clinic; so I would actually have to go to a hospital to be put to sleep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe night before I had the abortion, I just sat in my bed and I cried. I held my stomach and asked the baby to forgive me. I went in the next day; we went to the hospital\u2014they changed my name, because I had kind of a prominent family\u2014and put me under completely. To my dad\u2019s credit, he was with me the whole time; I mean, not for the actual procedure, but leading up to it. He held my hand; he was with me. I was so scared. Then I started to freak out and get real fidgety, and the doctor had to up my medication. He stayed with me until they wheeled me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they\u2014you know, you count backwards\u201499, 98, 97...I\u2019m out. I wake up, and it\u2019s done. I move in with my grandmother, my dad\u2019s mom from Pennsylvania, because my stepmom doesn\u2019t want me to live at home anymore; because, at this point, she hates me because of what I\u2019ve chosen to do. I sleep for two days at my grandmother\u2019s. I wake up, and I walk into the kitchen. She\u2019s got toast and a smile, and we never talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> So you moved to Pennsylvania. You stay there, and you actually have a fresh start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; well, first I moved\u2014yes; so first, after the abortion, I moved back to Georgia. I stay there for one more year; and I finally realize, \u201cThis is terrible.\u201d I was so <em>sick<\/em> of that town; I was so <em>sick<\/em> of everything it meant to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, I was like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I\u2019m moving back. I\u2019m going to Pennsylvania, where nobody knows anything. I can get a fresh start. That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do.\u201d My dad wanted me to move back so, so badly. I moved back which was <em>awful<\/em>; because, now, things with my stepmom were even <em>worse<\/em>; but at this point, I felt, \u201cWell, it\u2019s better than living with my mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I move back; I get this fresh start. My dad has money; he gives me money. I get to go <em>shopping<\/em>; I get to have all new clothes. I go to this rich high school in the town of Penn State\u2014where Penn State is\u2014and I just get to completely start over. I\u2019m the <em>new<\/em> girl; right?\u2014like my braces are off; I\u2019m kind of pretty. I grew up; I get attention. It felt really <em>good<\/em> to start over. I felt like I was getting a totally fresh start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening to a conversation that Kim Anthony had with author and podcaster, Sarah Mae. This is a part of Kim\u2019s podcast, which is called <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>, which is a part of the FamilyLife Podcast Network. You can hear the entire conversation if you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there to this episode from <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to pull back and say, \u201cAlright, given Sarah\u2019s childhood\/upbringing, where\u2019s her life going to end up?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At age 16, she\u2019s from a divorced family. Mom\u2019s an alcoholic. She\u2019s been promiscuous at 14; she\u2019s had an abortion at 16. If you say, \u201cWhat\u2019s the trajectory for her life?\u201d it would not look promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014would not look good. But here\u2019s what I think we\u2019re going to hear\u2014\u201cBut God\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014two great words in the Bible. Every time God shows up, things change, and redemption is a part of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And one of the reasons why these stories are so powerful for all of us is because we may be, right now, in the kind of mess that Sarah was in at age 16. You can look at the circumstances of your own life and go, \u201cYou know, I don\u2019t know that there is any hope for <em>me<\/em>, given all that\u2019s gone on in my life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ll hear from Sarah, there is hope for <em>everyone<\/em>, no matter how desperate your circumstances are. Let\u2019s listen as Kim turns the corner here and brings in the \u201cBut God\u201d part of Sarah\u2019s story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> When did Jesus enter the picture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So I did not choose God; He totally chose me. When I was a little girl\u2014I told you my stepmom was Catholic\u2014so I used to always go to Catholic church with her; I didn\u2019t like it\u2014but she had a Bible next to my bed. I would pick it up, and I would always start in Genesis. I would try to read a page; I never understood it, so I would close it back; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, my sister\u2014we have different dads\u2014and she was going to\u2014I was probably nine, maybe, so she was real little: three or something like that\u2014and my mom had dropped her off for a visitation with her dad, and he never came back; so we didn\u2019t know where she was. I\u2019m living with my dad; but of course, I know my mom\u2019s trying to find my sister. I just started to pray, every night, to a God I did not know; but I believed there was a God. I just didn\u2019t know anything about Jesus or who He was. I was praying; and I just remember being like: \u201cGod, please find my sister. Please find my sister. Please find my sister.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter six months or a year, they found her in another state. When they found her, something cemented inside of me that there was a God and that He <em>heard<\/em> me; that was <em>very<\/em> significant. I didn\u2019t know anything else, but that was something significant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward, I\u2019m living in Georgia, 14 years old. My uncle comes to visit, and he gives me this Clay Crosse\u2014he was a Christian singer\u2014cassette tape. He\u2019s like, \u201cHere, you might like this.\u201d Why on earth I chose to listen to it, I have no idea; [Laughter] but I did. I put this tape in. I remember crawling up on my bunk bed and just listening to it. I just started to cry; and I just started to pray\u2014I was like, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know what this man is talking about.\u201d I knew he was singing about God; I knew he was singing about someone called Jesus, but I didn\u2019t understand it. I remember praying, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know what that is; but I want it.\u201d I\u2019m just bawling, asking God to give me whatever it is that this man is singing about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so there was another thing. Then that same uncle\u2014he was just visiting from out of town, so he didn\u2019t stay\u2014but while he was there, he took us to a church. Now, you have to understand\u2014I\u2019d only ever been to a Catholic church. In fact, I didn\u2019t even know there was other churches. I thought there was only Catholic; I had no idea! We go to this church; we walk up. They open the doors; and people are like clapping and singing! [Laughter] I was like, \u201cWhat is this?!\u201d [Laughter] I remember I had this thought go through my mind\u2014it didn\u2019t make any sense at the time\u2014and it was: \u201cThe Spirit is here,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014which I wouldn\u2019t have understood that, but that\u2019s the thought in my brain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember thinking: \u201cWow! People are smiling,\u201d\u2014like they seem to be happy to be in church\u2014\u201cThis is weird.\u201d After the music, that I\u2019m loving, we sit down. The preacher starts to preach, and I can understand him! I feel like\u2014he gives the sermon\u2014and I was like: \u201cWow! He just talked like a normal person.\u201d I felt like I understood what he said. That was another sort of cementing. But then, my uncle left; and of course, I didn\u2019t go back; but I always remembered it. I couldn\u2019t drive; it wasn\u2019t like I could drive myself there\u2014that was just another thing. So then I was like: \u201cOh yeah, I believe in God. I don\u2019t know anything, but I believe in God!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>So fast forward, <em>again<\/em>, to Pennsylvania; moved back. I\u2019m in 11<sup>th<\/sup> grade now and all the cool kids go to this thing called Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> on Wednesday nights; you know?\u2014it\u2019s to just get out of the house. I was like, \u201cWell, I want to get out of my house; so I\u2019m going to go, too.\u201d I go to this thing called Young Life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is when I began to <em>finally<\/em> hear the gospel. That\u2019s when I <em>finally<\/em> began to hear that Jesus was, not just God\u2019s Son, but that He was God and He came to die for us and that He died for our sins and rose again so that we could have life. I mean, I was hook, line, and sinker. I got a Bible; I started to read it. I could understand it\u2014like God was just opening my eyes. I didn\u2019t have some date that I came to know the Lord. It was a puzzle\u2014it was like all a wooing and a piecing together. But I will say I was reading the Bible; I was learning. I was going to Young Life. I went to Young Life camp\u2014I did all the things; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Okay, so Navigators is what I got involved in at Penn State. We went on this retreat; and the speaker that night said, \u201cWhat would you do if Jesus walked in the room right now?\u201d My immediate thought was: \u201cI would hide. He would not want to see me.\u201d Nobody had to tell me I was a sinner; I <em>knew<\/em> all of the bad things that I had done. I had so much shame. I thought Jesus would not want to see me, and so I would <em>hide<\/em> if He came into this room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if someone told me; I don\u2019t know if it was the Spirit. I\u2019m sure somebody said this, and my spirit connected; but they said something to the effect of: \u201cSarah, Jesus knows everything that you\u2019ve ever done, and He knows everything you\u2019re doing, and He knows everything you\u2019re going to do, and He loves you, and this is why He died for you.\u201d And that was it\u2014I mean, I was done; sold\u2014Jesus girl. That was it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from Kim Anthony\u2019s podcast, <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>, talking with author and podcaster, Sarah Mae, whose book is called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of her book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just wondering how many folks, who are listening today, are in their mess, going, \u201cI don\u2019t know that Jesus can come in here and love me, given the mess I\u2019m in.\u201d And yet, what Sarah realized is\u2014what the Bible says is true for <em>anyone<\/em> who\u2019s listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014everyone. I so relate to this. I was teary, listening to the end, because this is very much my life. As a 16-year-old, I had surrendered everything to Jesus; and yet, I felt so much shame coming from a background of sexual abuse. I was promiscuous and I thought: \u201cThere\u2019s no way God could accept me. There\u2019s too much there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget being in this woods, all by myself, on my face before God, saying, \u201cIf You take me, I\u2019ll give my life to You.\u201d I\u2019ve never, and still have never, experienced peace, love, and acceptance [like that]\u2014it comes from God\u2014because He loves us no matter where we\u2019ve been or what we\u2019ve done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I just love hearing stories, like we said, of people being ambushed by the love of God. I mean, I hope there\u2019s a listener right now that needs to know what we heard: \u201cThat you are loved. Regardless of what you\u2019ve done\/what you\u2019re doing, God loves you.\u201d It doesn\u2019t make sense; it\u2019s nonsensical in some ways, but His grace\/His death on that cross was for <em>you<\/em>. If you respond to that love, it will transform you from the inside out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, and how do you respond to that? What should a listener do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Just what Ann did, in the woods\u2014is surrender\u2014say: \u201cHere\u2019s my life. I choose to follow You. I choose to surrender to You, and I invite You to make me what You want me to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can remember repenting\u2014of saying: \u201cGod forgive me. I\u2019ve gone the opposite way of what You\u2019ve called me to do, but I give You my sin. I give You my mess. I give You my life.\u201d He takes that, and He forgives us, and He transforms us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and if you\u2019re at a point in your life, where you\u2019re ready to make that choice to surrender your life, I want to encourage you to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there to a website that\u2019s called \u201cTwo Ways to Live\u201d that will help walk you through the choice that is in front of you: about how you\u2019re going to live your life\u2014about whether you will live your life for yourself with you in charge or whether you will surrender and live your life with Jesus in charge. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check on the link, \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website, we also have copies of Sarah Mae\u2019s book, <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Let me also encourage you to listen to the entire podcast that Kim Anthony did with Sarah Mae. Sarah talks about going to her dad and saying, \u201cI want to move in with Mom,\u201d because she thought mom was the cool mom. Her dad ultimately let her go back live with her mom; and quickly, Sarah found out what she thought was a cool mom was actually an alcoholic, verbally-abusive mom. Her whole story is just riveting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can download the podcast when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and listen to the entire interview that Kim did with Sarah Mae. There\u2019s a link to the podcast on our website. If you\u2019re not already subscribed to the <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em> podcast, you can subscribe online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Sarah\u2019s book is called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>; and you can order that from us, online, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website, today is, as you know, Black Friday; so everybody is shopping\u2014kind of everywhere\u2014on Black Friday. We thought we would do something for our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We are making available today, and actually through the weekend, gift cards for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway at half price. You can order a gift card today\u2014give the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as a Christmas gift to your kids, or maybe there\u2019s somebody you know who just got engaged, or someone you\u2019d just like to reach out to. Buy a half-price <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card today on Black Friday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order the half-price <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card; and you can use this for yourself, if you want. In the spring, go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> for half price. Order the gift card today and then use that whenever you\u2019re ready to go to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014 those of you who support this ministry with your financial contributions. The cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, along with the maintenance of our website, the resources we generate, the events that we host\u2014everything we do, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, happens because folks, like you, make it happen through your financial support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a kid-friendly resource. This is a set of Christmas ornaments called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u2122.\u201d We\u2019ve taken a dozen names or titles for Jesus in the Bible and made corresponding Christmas tree ornaments that are, as I said, kid friendly. So when you talk about Jesus being the Living Water, there\u2019s a pitcher of water that pictures Him as the Living Water. The Lamb of God, the Lion of Judah, the King of kings, the Bread of Life\u2014as you place these ornaments on your tree, there\u2019s a devotional you can read with your kids. It just helps us focus on the One whose birth we are celebrating on \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDecember 25<sup>th<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u201d are our thank-you gift to you today when you make a donation in support of this ministry. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Thanks, in advance, for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us on Monday. Julie Plagens will be here to talk about what happened in her family that caused her not to talk to her mom and dad for more than a decade; and then, how that division was ultimately healed. Hope you can tune if for all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:49"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.3M"],"filesize_raw":["28630470"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305565.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305565.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Sarah Mae became pregnant as a teen, she chose abortion when encouraged by both her grandmothers. But through the shame and sadness, God's love still pursued Sarah.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sarah Mae was a teenager when she learned she was pregnant. It was her grandmother who came and spoke to her, offering her counsel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> She sat down next to me on my bed. She put her arm around me, and she said, \u201cHoney, I really think you should have an abortion because, then, you can go to prom and you can have a life.\u201d She was the first person who showed me love and affection; that I <em>immediately<\/em> was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll have the abortion.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear from Sarah Mae today about her turbulent teenage years and about how God ultimately worked in her life to turn things around. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I\u2019ve had people ask me over the years, \u201cDo you have a favorite <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> interview that you\u2019ve done?\u201d In, now, two-and-a-half decades of doing this,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you say it was Dave and I? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014I went <em>immediately<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was our favorite interview, Bob; I don\u2019t know about you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014your interview is exactly the type of interview that\u2019s been a favorite; because my favorite interviews have not been necessarily well-known, big time celebrity people. We\u2019ve had a chance to talk to some amazing people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, thanks Bob. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019ve had a chance to talk to heroes\u2014people who have been spiritual heroes of mine. But the stories of redemption\u2014the stories, where God takes really messy situations and says, \u201cWatch what I can do,\u201d\u2014those have been my favorite interviews over the years\u2014where people have said, \u201cOur story was riddled with dysfunction, with challenge, with bad choices, with wrong decisions; and God did some miraculous things.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour story fits that a little bit, but you love those stories, too; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We all do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, you can ask my wife how often I cry in life, but I cry when I hear redemption stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to hear one of those stories today, and this is not an interview I got to do; or we didn\u2019t get to do this one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is one that our friend, Kim Anthony, did for her podcast, <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>. She had a conversation with Sarah Mae, who has her own podcast called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. In fact, she\u2019s written a book by that title. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah\u2019s story is one of those messy stories. Mom and Dad got a divorce when she was young. She lived with her dad during her early years. When she turned 14, she was kind of wanting a little more freedom. Mom said \u201cWell, you can come live with me.\u201d She went and lived with Mom. Her mom was an alcoholic; she [Sarah] didn\u2019t know it at the time. Sarah gets there, and a month in, she goes, \u201cThis is not a good place to be.\u201d She finds a boyfriend; she winds up pregnant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, as a young teenager, she\u2019s confused. She\u2019s not getting along with her mom; she\u2019s not sure she wants to move back with Dad; and she\u2019s expecting a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014at 16 years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And she described for Kim that she was just assuming she would be a teenage mom. There were a lot of other teenage moms in the school she was attending; so she thought that was what was going to happen until her grandmother came and said, \u201cI can take care of this for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I knew what she was saying, but I didn\u2019t really understand. I didn\u2019t really know what abortion was. What was really difficult, I think, was\u2014so this was in the spring when I found out I was pregnant. I was going to Pennsylvania for the summer, because I would go back with my dad in the summers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I fly back to Pennsylvania; and she [grandmother] wouldn\u2019t look at me, or talk to me, or anything. I became like this outcast. <em>That<\/em> was harder than anything else because I no longer received love. My dad, who loved me and was such a good dad, I think he must have felt pressure from her because he started\u2014he didn\u2019t treat me unkindly, but he just sort of put up a wall\u2014like there was definitely a wall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt just completely utterly alone; but I still was like, \u201cWell, I\u2019m having a baby.\u201d But I was so sick, too, which added onto it\u2014just throwing up morning, noon, and night. There was no morning sickness; it was <em>all day<\/em> sickness. I was so frail and so sick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> So you\u2019re no longer receiving love in your mother\u2019s home; and you go to the people, who have been showing you love all along\u2014your dad\/your grandmother\u2014and now, because you\u2019re pregnant, that love has been removed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; alone. I mean, that\u2019s what it is\u2014like you feel; and you\u2019re 16. I just didn\u2019t even know how to process it. I didn\u2019t think through it. I wasn\u2019t making plans. It was literally just: \u201cI\u2019m pregnant, and I\u2019m alone; and I guess we\u2019ll figure this out.\u201d What started to happen was\u2014everyone tried to convince me what to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy grandmother, obviously, wanted me to have an abortion. My stepmom was Catholic; and she wanted me to have the baby and, then, she would raise it like it was my brother or sister, which I was like, \u201cNo; that\u2019s really weird.\u201d Then I was like: \u201cWell, I could do adoption. I know there\u2019s families, who can\u2019t have kids; so why don\u2019t I do that?\u201d But nobody liked that idea either; nobody was listening to me. Nobody ever said: \u201cSarah, how do you feel? What do you want to do?\u201d Again, really confusing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, what happened\u2014I was three months pregnant; and my other grandmother, who lived in Georgia\u2014my mom\u2019s mom\u2014came to visit me. She sat down next to me on my bed. She put her arm around me, and she was so kind\u2014like nobody was touching me, you know what I mean? She puts her arm around me; and she said, \u201cHoney, I really think you should have an abortion because, then, you can go to prom and you can have a life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Oh wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> I just felt like she was the first person who showed me love and affection; that I <em>immediately<\/em> was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll have the abortion.\u201d One, because I wanted to be back in the fold; I wanted to be loved again. And two, I was just tired. I was tired and sick, and I couldn\u2019t fight it anymore. I was like: \u201cWhatever\u2014whatever you guys want to do. I\u2019ll do whatever makes everybody else happy.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like this resignation. I told my grandmother from Pennsylvania, who told me she would have it taken care of; and so I was back in the fold. She had a friend, who was a doctor. After he examined me, he said I was way too fidgety for him to perform the abortion in his office or in an abortion clinic; so I would actually have to go to a hospital to be put to sleep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe night before I had the abortion, I just sat in my bed and I cried. I held my stomach and asked the baby to forgive me. I went in the next day; we went to the hospital\u2014they changed my name, because I had kind of a prominent family\u2014and put me under completely. To my dad\u2019s credit, he was with me the whole time; I mean, not for the actual procedure, but leading up to it. He held my hand; he was with me. I was so scared. Then I started to freak out and get real fidgety, and the doctor had to up my medication. He stayed with me until they wheeled me away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they\u2014you know, you count backwards\u201499, 98, 97...I\u2019m out. I wake up, and it\u2019s done. I move in with my grandmother, my dad\u2019s mom from Pennsylvania, because my stepmom doesn\u2019t want me to live at home anymore; because, at this point, she hates me because of what I\u2019ve chosen to do. I sleep for two days at my grandmother\u2019s. I wake up, and I walk into the kitchen. She\u2019s got toast and a smile, and we never talk about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> So you moved to Pennsylvania. You stay there, and you actually have a fresh start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Yes; well, first I moved\u2014yes; so first, after the abortion, I moved back to Georgia. I stay there for one more year; and I finally realize, \u201cThis is terrible.\u201d I was so <em>sick<\/em> of that town; I was so <em>sick<\/em> of everything it meant to me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, I was like: \u201cI\u2019m done. I\u2019m moving back. I\u2019m going to Pennsylvania, where nobody knows anything. I can get a fresh start. That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do.\u201d My dad wanted me to move back so, so badly. I moved back which was <em>awful<\/em>; because, now, things with my stepmom were even <em>worse<\/em>; but at this point, I felt, \u201cWell, it\u2019s better than living with my mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I move back; I get this fresh start. My dad has money; he gives me money. I get to go <em>shopping<\/em>; I get to have all new clothes. I go to this rich high school in the town of Penn State\u2014where Penn State is\u2014and I just get to completely start over. I\u2019m the <em>new<\/em> girl; right?\u2014like my braces are off; I\u2019m kind of pretty. I grew up; I get attention. It felt really <em>good<\/em> to start over. I felt like I was getting a totally fresh start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve been listening to a conversation that Kim Anthony had with author and podcaster, Sarah Mae. This is a part of Kim\u2019s podcast, which is called <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>, which is a part of the FamilyLife Podcast Network. You can hear the entire conversation if you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there to this episode from <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we were to pull back and say, \u201cAlright, given Sarah\u2019s childhood\/upbringing, where\u2019s her life going to end up?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> At age 16, she\u2019s from a divorced family. Mom\u2019s an alcoholic. She\u2019s been promiscuous at 14; she\u2019s had an abortion at 16. If you say, \u201cWhat\u2019s the trajectory for her life?\u201d it would not look promising.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014would not look good. But here\u2019s what I think we\u2019re going to hear\u2014\u201cBut God\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014two great words in the Bible. Every time God shows up, things change, and redemption is a part of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And one of the reasons why these stories are so powerful for all of us is because we may be, right now, in the kind of mess that Sarah was in at age 16. You can look at the circumstances of your own life and go, \u201cYou know, I don\u2019t know that there is any hope for <em>me<\/em>, given all that\u2019s gone on in my life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ll hear from Sarah, there is hope for <em>everyone<\/em>, no matter how desperate your circumstances are. Let\u2019s listen as Kim turns the corner here and brings in the \u201cBut God\u201d part of Sarah\u2019s story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Podcast]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> When did Jesus enter the picture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> So I did not choose God; He totally chose me. When I was a little girl\u2014I told you my stepmom was Catholic\u2014so I used to always go to Catholic church with her; I didn\u2019t like it\u2014but she had a Bible next to my bed. I would pick it up, and I would always start in Genesis. I would try to read a page; I never understood it, so I would close it back; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, my sister\u2014we have different dads\u2014and she was going to\u2014I was probably nine, maybe, so she was real little: three or something like that\u2014and my mom had dropped her off for a visitation with her dad, and he never came back; so we didn\u2019t know where she was. I\u2019m living with my dad; but of course, I know my mom\u2019s trying to find my sister. I just started to pray, every night, to a God I did not know; but I believed there was a God. I just didn\u2019t know anything about Jesus or who He was. I was praying; and I just remember being like: \u201cGod, please find my sister. Please find my sister. Please find my sister.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter six months or a year, they found her in another state. When they found her, something cemented inside of me that there was a God and that He <em>heard<\/em> me; that was <em>very<\/em> significant. I didn\u2019t know anything else, but that was something significant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward, I\u2019m living in Georgia, 14 years old. My uncle comes to visit, and he gives me this Clay Crosse\u2014he was a Christian singer\u2014cassette tape. He\u2019s like, \u201cHere, you might like this.\u201d Why on earth I chose to listen to it, I have no idea; [Laughter] but I did. I put this tape in. I remember crawling up on my bunk bed and just listening to it. I just started to cry; and I just started to pray\u2014I was like, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know what this man is talking about.\u201d I knew he was singing about God; I knew he was singing about someone called Jesus, but I didn\u2019t understand it. I remember praying, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t know what that is; but I want it.\u201d I\u2019m just bawling, asking God to give me whatever it is that this man is singing about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so there was another thing. Then that same uncle\u2014he was just visiting from out of town, so he didn\u2019t stay\u2014but while he was there, he took us to a church. Now, you have to understand\u2014I\u2019d only ever been to a Catholic church. In fact, I didn\u2019t even know there was other churches. I thought there was only Catholic; I had no idea! We go to this church; we walk up. They open the doors; and people are like clapping and singing! [Laughter] I was like, \u201cWhat is this?!\u201d [Laughter] I remember I had this thought go through my mind\u2014it didn\u2019t make any sense at the time\u2014and it was: \u201cThe Spirit is here,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> \u2014which I wouldn\u2019t have understood that, but that\u2019s the thought in my brain. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just remember thinking: \u201cWow! People are smiling,\u201d\u2014like they seem to be happy to be in church\u2014\u201cThis is weird.\u201d After the music, that I\u2019m loving, we sit down. The preacher starts to preach, and I can understand him! I feel like\u2014he gives the sermon\u2014and I was like: \u201cWow! He just talked like a normal person.\u201d I felt like I understood what he said. That was another sort of cementing. But then, my uncle left; and of course, I didn\u2019t go back; but I always remembered it. I couldn\u2019t drive; it wasn\u2019t like I could drive myself there\u2014that was just another thing. So then I was like: \u201cOh yeah, I believe in God. I don\u2019t know anything, but I believe in God!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah: <\/strong>So fast forward, <em>again<\/em>, to Pennsylvania; moved back. I\u2019m in 11<sup>th<\/sup> grade now and all the cool kids go to this thing called Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> on Wednesday nights; you know?\u2014it\u2019s to just get out of the house. I was like, \u201cWell, I want to get out of my house; so I\u2019m going to go, too.\u201d I go to this thing called Young Life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is when I began to <em>finally<\/em> hear the gospel. That\u2019s when I <em>finally<\/em> began to hear that Jesus was, not just God\u2019s Son, but that He was God and He came to die for us and that He died for our sins and rose again so that we could have life. I mean, I was hook, line, and sinker. I got a Bible; I started to read it. I could understand it\u2014like God was just opening my eyes. I didn\u2019t have some date that I came to know the Lord. It was a puzzle\u2014it was like all a wooing and a piecing together. But I will say I was reading the Bible; I was learning. I was going to Young Life. I went to Young Life camp\u2014I did all the things; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sarah:<\/strong> Okay, so Navigators is what I got involved in at Penn State. We went on this retreat; and the speaker that night said, \u201cWhat would you do if Jesus walked in the room right now?\u201d My immediate thought was: \u201cI would hide. He would not want to see me.\u201d Nobody had to tell me I was a sinner; I <em>knew<\/em> all of the bad things that I had done. I had so much shame. I thought Jesus would not want to see me, and so I would <em>hide<\/em> if He came into this room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if someone told me; I don\u2019t know if it was the Spirit. I\u2019m sure somebody said this, and my spirit connected; but they said something to the effect of: \u201cSarah, Jesus knows everything that you\u2019ve ever done, and He knows everything you\u2019re doing, and He knows everything you\u2019re going to do, and He loves you, and this is why He died for you.\u201d And that was it\u2014I mean, I was done; sold\u2014Jesus girl. That was it for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to an excerpt from Kim Anthony\u2019s podcast, <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em>, talking with author and podcaster, Sarah Mae, whose book is called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of her book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just wondering how many folks, who are listening today, are in their mess, going, \u201cI don\u2019t know that Jesus can come in here and love me, given the mess I\u2019m in.\u201d And yet, what Sarah realized is\u2014what the Bible says is true for <em>anyone<\/em> who\u2019s listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014everyone. I so relate to this. I was teary, listening to the end, because this is very much my life. As a 16-year-old, I had surrendered everything to Jesus; and yet, I felt so much shame coming from a background of sexual abuse. I was promiscuous and I thought: \u201cThere\u2019s no way God could accept me. There\u2019s too much there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget being in this woods, all by myself, on my face before God, saying, \u201cIf You take me, I\u2019ll give my life to You.\u201d I\u2019ve never, and still have never, experienced peace, love, and acceptance [like that]\u2014it comes from God\u2014because He loves us no matter where we\u2019ve been or what we\u2019ve done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And I just love hearing stories, like we said, of people being ambushed by the love of God. I mean, I hope there\u2019s a listener right now that needs to know what we heard: \u201cThat you are loved. Regardless of what you\u2019ve done\/what you\u2019re doing, God loves you.\u201d It doesn\u2019t make sense; it\u2019s nonsensical in some ways, but His grace\/His death on that cross was for <em>you<\/em>. If you respond to that love, it will transform you from the inside out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, and how do you respond to that? What should a listener do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Just what Ann did, in the woods\u2014is surrender\u2014say: \u201cHere\u2019s my life. I choose to follow You. I choose to surrender to You, and I invite You to make me what You want me to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I can remember repenting\u2014of saying: \u201cGod forgive me. I\u2019ve gone the opposite way of what You\u2019ve called me to do, but I give You my sin. I give You my mess. I give You my life.\u201d He takes that, and He forgives us, and He transforms us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, and if you\u2019re at a point in your life, where you\u2019re ready to make that choice to surrender your life, I want to encourage you to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s a link there to a website that\u2019s called \u201cTwo Ways to Live\u201d that will help walk you through the choice that is in front of you: about how you\u2019re going to live your life\u2014about whether you will live your life for yourself with you in charge or whether you will surrender and live your life with Jesus in charge. Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check on the link, \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website, we also have copies of Sarah Mae\u2019s book, <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Let me also encourage you to listen to the entire podcast that Kim Anthony did with Sarah Mae. Sarah talks about going to her dad and saying, \u201cI want to move in with Mom,\u201d because she thought mom was the cool mom. Her dad ultimately let her go back live with her mom; and quickly, Sarah found out what she thought was a cool mom was actually an alcoholic, verbally-abusive mom. Her whole story is just riveting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can download the podcast when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and listen to the entire interview that Kim did with Sarah Mae. There\u2019s a link to the podcast on our website. If you\u2019re not already subscribed to the <em>Unfavorable Odds<\/em> podcast, you can subscribe online. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Sarah\u2019s book is called <em>The Complicated Heart<\/em>; and you can order that from us, online, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website, today is, as you know, Black Friday; so everybody is shopping\u2014kind of everywhere\u2014on Black Friday. We thought we would do something for our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We are making available today, and actually through the weekend, gift cards for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway at half price. You can order a gift card today\u2014give the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> as a Christmas gift to your kids, or maybe there\u2019s somebody you know who just got engaged, or someone you\u2019d just like to reach out to. Buy a half-price <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card today on Black Friday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order the half-price <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> gift card; and you can use this for yourself, if you want. In the spring, go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> for half price. Order the gift card today and then use that whenever you\u2019re ready to go to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to those of you who make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible\u2014 those of you who support this ministry with your financial contributions. The cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, along with the maintenance of our website, the resources we generate, the events that we host\u2014everything we do, here at FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, happens because folks, like you, make it happen through your financial support of this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a kid-friendly resource. This is a set of Christmas ornaments called \u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u2122.\u201d We\u2019ve taken a dozen names or titles for Jesus in the Bible and made corresponding Christmas tree ornaments that are, as I said, kid friendly. So when you talk about Jesus being the Living Water, there\u2019s a pitcher of water that pictures Him as the Living Water. The Lamb of God, the Lion of Judah, the King of kings, the Bread of Life\u2014as you place these ornaments on your tree, there\u2019s a devotional you can read with your kids. It just helps us focus on the One whose birth we are celebrating on \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDecember 25<sup>th<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe Twelve Names of Christmas\u201d are our thank-you gift to you today when you make a donation in support of this ministry. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Thanks, in advance, for your support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us on Monday. Julie Plagens will be here to talk about what happened in her family that caused her not to talk to her mom and dad for more than a decade; and then, how that division was ultimately healed. Hope you can tune if for all of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305565"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305565"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305565"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}