{"id":305544,"date":"2019-11-22T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-11-22T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/praying-through-conflict\/"},"modified":"2019-11-22T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-11-22T11:00:04","slug":"praying-through-conflict","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-through-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Praying Through Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joel and Nina Schmidgall want couples to know that prayer is their ally when facing marital conflict. They encourage couples to prayerfully seek the Lord for the root of their conflict.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-22.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:54","filesize":"24.63M","filesize_raw":"25828766","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2810],"tags":[6801],"podcast_series":[8318],"cwp_profile":[9583],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305544","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-spiritually","tag-praying-circles-around-your-marriage","podcast_series-praying-circles-around-your-marriage","cwp_profile-joel-and-nina-schmidgall","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305544\/praying-through-conflict","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305544\/praying-through-conflict","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XbopVog4e5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-through-conflict\/\">Praying Through Conflict<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-through-conflict\/embed\/#?secret=XbopVog4e5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Praying Through Conflict&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XbopVog4e5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Joel and Nina Schmidgall want couples to know that prayer is their ally when facing marital conflict. They encourage couples to prayerfully seek the Lord for the root of their conflict.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 22<sup>nd<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. When we take time and ask God to give us a vision for what is good, and true, and beautiful about each other\/about our spouse, that can change virtually every dynamic about our marriage. We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are circling up this week; aren\u2019t we? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We\u2019re circling up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; you\u2019ve known circles all your athletic life; because, before you run the play\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Circles and x\u2019s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You\u2019re talking about x\u2019s and o\u2019s on the chalkboard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014before you run the play, you\u2019ve got the x\u2019s and o\u2019s; but then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you want me to draw you up one right now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I don\u2019t! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Everybody gets in the huddle\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right; circles. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and circles up before you go out and run the play. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s\u2014honestly, think about it\u2014that moment in that circle is ultra-important to the game; right? Yet, I always say at church: \u201cIt\u2019s like we don\u2019t just come to get in a circle, and pray, and sing. People come to a game to watch what you do after the circle; right? What are you going to do in the community? What are you going to do to take your faith to the streets?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSame thing in a marriage; right? You\u2019ve got to circle up; you\u2019ve got to pray; but then you\u2019ve got to live this thing out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are some teams that run a no-huddle offensive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, I love those teams. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But when they are running the no-huddle, they\u2019ve had their communication ahead of time to know what\u2019s going on; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And they are continually looking to the sidelines\/to the coach to tell them what the play is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We could stretch this metaphor. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We could! [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Let\u2019s go to a different metaphor. We\u2019ve got Joel and Nina Schmidgall joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this week. Guys, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Good to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Joel is the Executive Director at National Community Church in Washington, DC. Nina is the head of Family Ministry at the church. In your book, <em>Praying Circles Around Your Marriage<\/em>, one of the circles you talk about is the war circle. This is how we handle conflict and how prayer comes into the midst of those clashes that happen in marriage; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, what do you do? Do you just pray that you win the conflict? Is that how it works? [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s how <em>you<\/em> do it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I do. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> That\u2019s how the prayer <em>usually<\/em> starts; yes. No; our prayer and hope, in this particular chapter, is that, you know, couples would prayerfully seek the Lord for revelation about the true source of conflict at work in their\u2014we know, quite often, when we are in disagreement, or we\u2019re facing things that cause conflict, or division, or frustration\u2014that usually what we\u2019re navigating is only the tip of the iceberg. There is so much happening under the surface. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of our biggest hopes and prayers for the chapter is that couples would approach conflict with a holy curiosity\/a true desire for the Lord to reveal to them: \u201cWhat are the real things that work?\u201d We were actually talking with one of your staff this morning about how\u2014even as they age in marriage, or then some of the things are from work, or from family relationships are actually are still there, and even there in a new way now\u2014as caring for older parents or parents that are aging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, of course, that couples would see that conflict can be healthy\u2014that it\u2019s not just to be avoided. We know that it is one of the most <em>feared<\/em> things in marriage and in relationship. We know that the Lord can use those things for our full refining and development and to bring us to our best version of ourselves. So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What does that look like for you guys?\u2014that holy curiosity? You\u2019re in this big fight; you don\u2019t agree with one another. I\u2019m not thinking, \u201cOh, that\u2019s interesting\u2014what he said\u201d; you know? I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s the dumbest thing I\u2019ve ever heard.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, how do you take it from: you\u2019re emotional and you\u2019re in it; how are you praying through that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Well, one thing that comes up\u2014and this is more just anecdotally, I guess, to mention on that\u2014is a lot of couples I know\u2014and this is true for us, too\u2014that if Joel is too quick to apologize, I\u2019m like: \u201cErr! No; you don\u2019t even know what I\u2019m really feeling or thinking, or what\u2019s really at work!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, sometimes, if we don\u2019t approach things with a true desire to understand what\u2019s really at work here: one, we miss a lot of the teaching work that the Lord wants to do in our lives\/the revealing work. Two, we\u2019re probably going to have the same conflict again later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> So, as couples you advise or that you counsel\u2014they haven\u2019t had a fight yet or regular conflict\u2014that like scares me more than anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Wow. \u201cYou guys have something coming\u2014a day of destiny coming\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there is an element of conflict that reveals the depths of the person that you\u2019re with that <em>nothing<\/em> else can. For me, I know if I am in the right place\u2014if while Nina\u2019s sharing her piece, I\u2019m usually building my five-point PowerPoint response. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve got the zinger and the whole thing. [Laughter] If my natural response is a statement versus a question, that\u2019s my personal evaluator if I know I\u2019m truly seeking to know her\/to understand her. We also talk about being a student of your spouse\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u201cWhat does that look like to truly try to understand where she\u2019s coming from?\u201d I think that\u2019s the common thing in marriages and relationships\u2014is that one of the primary things that we hear is that, \u201cI don\u2019t feel understood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u201cYes, I\u2019ll be heard but not understood.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here is what I am hearing you guys say\u2014and I think this is really important. In the midst of conflict, if we would all say, \u201cTime out. What\u2019s <em>really<\/em> going on here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was sitting down with somebody recently, and we were talking about some patterns in his life\/some sin patterns that were persistent. I said: \u201cYou know, we\u2019re looking at the surface behavior; but what\u2019s driving that? What\u2019s fueling that? What\u2019s behind that? Let\u2019s not focus on, \u2018How do we curb the behavior?\u2019\u201d\u2014we want to get there\u2014\u201cbut the way to curb the behavior is to figure out: \u2018What\u2019s the fuel that\u2019s driving the behavior?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, we wrote, I think, a whole chapter in our <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> book about a fight we had. I won\u2019t go into the details, but it is exactly what you\u2019re talking about; because the fight was about Ann parking in a parking spot near the front door of our church, which we don\u2019t do. This\u2014that\u2019s for the guests, not for the members, and especially not for the pastor\u2019s wife! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what is really interesting\u2014as we were talking about this, the thing that helped me in the middle of this fight\u2014because when I got home from church, it was a full-on loud yelling, which we don\u2019t do a lot. It got so loud, and we were in such angst; she\/Ann left and went upstairs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was creating my five-point strategy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014what I was going to say. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Come on. I bet you had more than five. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Circles and x\u2019s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Oh, I had <em>many<\/em>. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, she goes upstairs; and I actually yell as she leaves: \u201cYou should go upstairs.\u201d That\u2019s how <em>bad<\/em> it was; but while she was gone, I didn\u2019t even know what I was doing; but I did it. While she was gone, I calmed down until she was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was good to have space, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> The space was important. It took me ten minutes\/fifteen minutes, and I prayed. I literally prayed: \u201cGod, what am I <em>missing<\/em>? I\u2019m obviously missing something. Help me to see what I\u2019m missing.\u201d I have <em>no idea<\/em> how He was going to answer that prayer. You know, I\u2019m listening; I don\u2019t really sense anything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe comes downstairs. She gives this tirade of: \u201cI do everything around here. I go to church by myself,\u201d\u2014blah, blah, blah, blah\u2014she could give it to you right now. But here is what happened: as she said that, it hit me; now, I realize, \u201cHe answered the prayer right there\u201d; because when she said that, I\u2019m just listening. I finally asked her a question and said, \u201cDo you feel like Kensington\u201d\u2014our church\u2014\u201cdo you feel like Kensington is more important to me than you are?\u201d All she did was nod her head. I\u2019m like: \u201cThank You, Jesus. There it is.\u201d This whole fight was never about a parking spot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talked earlier about, sometimes, God will speak through a person. That day, it was through my wife. I didn\u2019t hear a, you know, different tone of voice. It was just Ann speaking. Yet, God entered the room, in a sense, and said: \u201cHere\u2019s the issue. Now, let\u2019s deal with that.\u201d That\u2019s what you\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Well, she didn\u2019t say anything new; you had new ears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> The Lord gave you new ears. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; now, talk about this because you mention this in your book about fighting healthy and even fighting fair. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEarlier in my marriage\u2014and I would say I was so immature\u2014I would have said this to Ann: \u201cThat\u2019s not true! You shouldn\u2019t feel that way!\u201d Because to me, there\u2019s like no way my job is more important; so I would have told her she is wrong to feel that. Thankfully, in that day, I\u2019m like, \u201cThat\u2019s the truth.\u201d So, talk about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> One of the things you mentioned, when she went upstairs, you said, \u201cFirst, I calmed down.\u201d That\u2019s something they are actually teaching in our kids\u2019 schools nowadays about your brain and about the amygdala. We\u2019ll even say to our kids, \u201cYou\u2019re in your amygdala right now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019re in this place where the emotions have so overtaken you that you actually can\u2019t see.\u201d Part of one of our prayers in the holy curiosity is: \u201cLord, would You allow us to step out of our biology\/our amygdala?\u201d One step in that is to calm down. In the book, we talk about these rules of engagement. Some of those have to do with: \u201cIn conflict, how do you regain control\/how do you regain perspective?\u201d That looks different for different individuals; but I think a portion of stepping way and being able to be out of your amygdala is an important part of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut part of the rules, you know, of engagement\u2014or even some of the self-care rules\u2014is: \u201cHow do you do the work ahead of time, even?\u201d Creating a space in our marriage, where it was safe to bring things up\u2014like, where, maybe, the conversation of: \u201cHey, I\u2019m feeling kind of set aside here,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m feeling overlooked here,\u201d could, maybe, come up in a way that, maybe, didn\u2019t necessarily have to get to that point [of full-blown conflict]. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>There, for sure, will be the blow-up moments, and learning how to navigate those in a healthy way is really, really important. I, actually, so appreciated how authentic you guys were about some of those in your book of just being fair and truthful about the times when we overstep and when we say hurtful things that we, then, have to do the repair work for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One of your rules in conflict or in the war circle is positive affirmation\/positive words. I found that very powerful, even as you talked about it. I mean, I love this quote from Dick and Ruth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> \u2014our mentors; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, what a quote: \u201cNo marriage can survive without affirmation. I didn\u2019t marry Ruth to tell me what I am not. I know what I am not. I need her affirmation to remind me who I am.\u201d It is so easy, in a conflict, to be negative. Again, we\u2019re talking\u2014you know, it\u2019s easy to sit here and talk about it when you\u2019re not in the heat of the war or the battle; but talk about that\u2014how important words are and even positive affirmation in a conflict. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes; and some of it\u2014when I think about my role, Ephesians 5 talks about: \u201cI have a calling to present my wife unto the Lord\u201d; right? How am I seeing in her the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomans 4:17?\u2014calling into existence those things that [were] not?\u2014that\u2019s what the Lord does. \u201cWhat\u2019s the vision God has given me for her?\u201d and \u201cHow am I constantly calling that out and pulling it out?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUsually, we see arguments as an affront to myself or to my pride as opposed to an opportunity for me to invest. What you [Dave] did in that conflict that you had\u2014you actually helped her [Ann] identify\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u2014something that was deeply disturbing her soul. That was a beautiful moment that\u2014well, you had to ask forgiveness; I guess. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> But you had the wherewithal, in that moment at least, to step aside from your own issues; and you were helping her identify and see something. You know, within a marriage\/within a conflict: \u201cHow are you, in an affirming way, helping the other person find who they are\/understand who they are? Are you asking questions? Are you seeing things about them? Are you allowing them to process?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we talk about getting out the amygdala\u2014like, when you ask questions, you just put things on a different plane. For us, we talk about controlling\u00a0 the environment. You know, when you\u2019re a kid, you learn this, too. You wouldn\u2019t ask your dad if you could go over to your friend\u2019s house when he comes home\u2014he\u2019s all angry about work; he comes in, huffing in the house\u2014you know you are not going to ask it then. You\u2019re going to wait until the next morning, when he is feeling good about himself. He woke up; he\u2019s got his paper\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> \u2014coffee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u2014his coffee. That\u2019s when you\u2019re going to ask him; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have those conflicts, you know, right as we are stressed; and we\u2019re on our way to work. That\u2019s when we decide to have the conflict instead of controlling our environment, where we can be in our best place to receive and to give within conflict in a healthy manner; but then second, when we\u2019re trying to be proactive with our Sunday night time\u2014and we come together, and we know we\u2019re going to get into some of the dirty stuff\u2014we always try to start in a positive place: \u201cLet\u2019s force ourselves to affirm one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> You know: \u201cWhat did we see in that person? What do we appreciate throughout the week that we saw?\u201d That\u2019s a foundational reminder that we\u2019re committed to each other; we\u2019re loving one another even in the midst of conflict. That lays the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You don\u2019t feel like, as you\u2019re doing that walk, you don\u2019t feel like: \u201cYes; yes; yes. You\u2019re just saying this. Now, you\u2019re going to hit me something hard\u201d? You don\u2019t feel that? This has become a pattern of trust\u2014is what I am hearing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes; and we can get there; can\u2019t we though? Like, sometimes, it\u2019s like, \u201cOh, you\u2019re just going to say that so now you can slap me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cWhat are you buttering me up for here?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Well, and it\u2019s a discipline that every Sunday night walk can\u2019t be going to the hard stuff. I think being intentional to make sure that that\u2019s not always the case. But maybe, I\u2019m just so hungry for words of affirmation that I am willing to receive it. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It feels so good; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> \u201cThat feels so good. You can just bring it anyway!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You trust each other that you are speaking truth in love to each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Some of that has to do with how we affirm one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I mean, if all you\u2019re doing is going through the motions, as a husband, and saying, \u201cYou know, yes; I appreciate the fact that you did this, and this, and this,\u201d\u2014and it\u2019s the same thing every Sunday night\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cYou\u2019re a good mom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014after a while, it\u2019s like, \u201cOkay; let\u2019s get past this, and let\u2019s get real\u201d; but if you stop and you go, \u201cHere\u2019s what happened this week that I just want to say, again, \u2018I appreciate this.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cThanks for doing this. <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u201cIt meant a lot.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; get specific. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Get specific. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Get specific in those words of affirmation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes; so good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, there is a little more sincerity there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> I do think, like, we are called\u2014all of us are called to be prophets to our spouse to see in them what they can\u2019t see for themselves. So, in Mark 8, when the blind man comes to Christ\u2014and it\u2019s that fun miracle, where Jesus takes him out, and then He spits on his eyes and put His hands. Then he looks around, and he sees trees walking around. Then He\u2019s got to touch him again for the full miracle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, for a lot of us, we have a sense of generally some good things about them. It\u2019s kind of that trees walking around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u2014like, \u201cI can see\u201d; but we don\u2019t have a true <em>vision<\/em> for our spouse or for our marriage. I think, in prayer,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> \u2014God gives us a vision. I\u2019m saying like, \u201cWhat\u2019s your vision for her that she might not even have about for herself?\u201d I think that was a transformative thing. A long time into our marriage, where I didn\u2019t have a vision over my wife, and I didn\u2019t see things that she didn\u2019t see. It was like: \u201cMaking small, little observations is nice; but God, Almighty, grant me to see as You see in Nina, and to pull those things out that You have put in her that I can help foster, and pastor, and be a prophet to.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when we talk about affirmation, let\u2019s talk about more than just, \u201cOh, that was nice when you brought me coffee in the morning.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s a good word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel:<\/strong> No; what has the Almighty said to you about your spouse? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting\u2014my son, Cody, was preaching last year; and he made this statement\u2014and yes; I know where he got it from\u2014he had to get it from me; but no, I\u2019ve <em>never<\/em> thought like this\u2014I just remember writing it down. He said just what you said, Joel; he said, \u201cWhen you see your spouse the way God sees her or him, you will speak to your spouse the way God speaks.\u201d It was words of affirmation. His point was: \u201cIt\u2019s all about vision. It\u2019s being able to see it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting\u2014in my center drawer in my office at home, I have a little spot where I have these cards that Detroit Lions players, or friends, or my wife have written me words of affirmation. I don\u2019t have any anniversary cards or love cards; they are all in the trash. I\u2019ve gotten those every anniversary from Ann; but I don\u2019t remember them: \u201cOh, I love you. Happy Anniversary.\u201d \u201cThanks\u201d; click; gone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut these specific cards from men or from Ann that say: \u201cHere is what I see in you\u2026\u201d and \u201cI love this about you\u2026\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like\u2014\u201cWhoa!\u201d It\u2019s like, \u201cWhy are they in a desk drawer?\u201d\u2014because they matter! That\u2019s important in a marriage\u2014to say that, out loud, to one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think this is <em>huge<\/em> because there is an enemy of our soul\/an enemy of our marriage\u2014that he wants us to live in isolation. So often, when we get married and we hit that reality phase, we start seeing the negative; we think the negative; we start speaking the negative. All we can see are the bad things or the ways that our spouse isn\u2019t meeting our needs. The enemy just gets us in this cycle of the negative. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhereas, God is continually pointing out the good, like: \u201cAre you noticing this and this?\u201d We become self-consumed: \u201cThey are not doing this,\u201d \u201cThey are not doing this\u201d; but when Jesus gets a hold of us\u2014when we go to Him in prayer and ask that\/we pray that\u2014\u201cFather, will You show me my husband and what You delight in him?\u201d Then we start thinking about it; we start speaking about it. That\u2019s transformative in our families and our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> I\u2019m so glad you said that, because I do think so much of this work starts with our thought life. The Scriptures, of course, have so much to say about the importance of discipling our thought life, particularly, as women. We have very well-developed inner-narrative. That train can start to develop and run away a little bit and take us to a place we don\u2019t necessarily want to go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI came up with a prompt question, early on, for myself; and I still use it now. I\u2019ve actually shared it with girlfriends in my life. When I start fussing about anything, they\u2019ll actually echo it back to me. I ask the question: \u201cWhat do I know to be true?\u201d I ask that in my prayer life with the Lord when I\u2019m starting to\u2014the frustration\u2019s building. That has to do with self-talk also; but: \u201cWhat do I know to be true?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my mind will start to run the way of: \u201cJoel hasn\u2019t done this or done that,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m having to do all this with the kids,\u201d or \u201cHe hasn\u2019t ever asked me\u201d\u2014whatever\u2014is when I say, \u201cWhat do I know to be true?\u201d I can meditate\/discipline the thoughts on: \u201cI <em>know<\/em> that our family is his first priority,\u201d \u201cI <em>know<\/em> that he is an incredible dad,\u201d \u201cI know that\u2026\u201d and to really feel\/rewrite the narrative with the <em>real<\/em> perspective\/with the <em>real<\/em> things that are true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, therefore, when I\u2019m stepping into those places\u2014when we come into the situations, where we\u2019re stepping on each other\u2019s toes, or not doing right by one another\u2014you\u2019re coming at it from a place with <em>true<\/em> understanding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It would be so cool\u2014you think about Proverbs 18:21\u2014I\u2019m guessing you know that one\u2014but it says, \u201cThe tongue has the power of life and death.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I know we\u2019re talking about conflict here; but in the middle of conflict, it can be death; we can speak death. What would it be like if the marriages in our homes were places where people heard words of life? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Our kids would run home. Our spouses would get out of work early because we run to life. I mean, if anything happened as a result of today\u2019s broadcast, it would be: \u201cWow! What would it be like tonight\/today\u2014speak life?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Yes; and you may not be able to change anything else about your marriage relationship, or your work situation, or whichever; but if you can start speaking life, your kids will be drawn into you; your spouse will be drawn into you\u2014the Lord will use it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> For me, the takeaway is: \u201cIn the next conflict, to say, \u201cLord, what\u2019s really going on here?\u201d Not just for me to try to diagnose it; but for me to say, \u201cLord, I need\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> \u2014\u201creveal it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI need insight; I need wisdom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201crevelation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cthat\u2019s beyond myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cLord, what is going on here that has presented itself in parking lot issues when those aren\u2019t the real issues? What\u2019s below the surface there?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Be ready for God to say, \u201cIt\u2019s you.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I thought it was <em>her<\/em>; \u201cNo; it\u2019s <em>you<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> My takeaway, which I think is brilliant, is: \u201cIf I am in a conflict, ask the question\u2014don\u2019t make the statement\u2014just asking a question.\u201d That\u2019s a wise, simple truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; what you guys have done in the book, <em>Praying Circles Around Your Marriage<\/em>, is you\u2019ve taken important areas of the marriage relationship\u2014having a vision for your marriage; \u201cHow do we deal with conflict?\u201d \u201cWhat about romance and intimacy?\u201d \u201cWhat about the way we partner together and the dance of marriage?\u201d \u201cWhat do we do to support one another?\u201d \u201cHow do we prepare for the hard times that are inevitably going to come?\u201d and \u201cHow do we have a focus on the legacy of our marriage?\u201d Then, with those areas identified, \u201cNow, how does prayer become the foundation to help each of those areas be what God wants it to be?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Thank you guys for the work on the book. Thanks for being here with us this week, and we appreciate it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Great to be here. Thank you guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book we\u2019ve been talking about this week is called <em>Praying Circles Around Your Marriage<\/em>. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com. Our number is 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Ask for the book, <em>Praying Circles Around Your Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to ask you to be in prayer for <em>thousands<\/em> of couples who are joining us this weekend for one of our biggest <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> weekends of the year. There are going to be couples at marriage conferences in the Chesapeake Bay; in Coeur d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Hartford, Connecticut; in Philadelphia; Portland, Oregon; Sacramento, California; San Antonio, Texas; San Diego; and in Albany, New York. Would you be in prayer for these couples as they gather to spend a weekend focusing on their marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to those of you who make these kinds of weekends possible\u2014those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. Your donations, not only make these events possible, it makes this daily radio program possible, our website, the resources that we\u2019ve developed. All that we do, here at FamilyLife, happens because listeners, like you, make it happen when you donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you a tool that we developed to help families be focused on Jesus during the holiday season. It\u2019s a resource called The Twelve Names of Christmas, a dozen kid-friendly ornaments designed to help you reflect on who Jesus is and to keep your focus there during the Christmas season. Ask for The Twelve Names of Christmas when you go online to donate. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. We\u2019re grateful for your support and appreciate your partnership. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. The Raineys are back to join us to talk about how to make the most out of the Christmas season for your family. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305544"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305544"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305544"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305544"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}