{"id":305527,"date":"2019-11-15T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-11-15T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/connecting-with-your-sons\/"},"modified":"2019-11-15T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-11-15T11:00:04","slug":"connecting-with-your-sons","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-sons\/","title":{"rendered":"Connecting With Your Sons"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Joel Fitzpatrick loves to take walks with his son where he can represent the love of the Father to him. In a day when disconnection is the rule, Fitzpatrick challenges dads to talk to their sons about the topics they deal with on a daily basis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-15.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:29:00","filesize":"26.55M","filesize_raw":"27841595","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2835,2870],"tags":[4946],"podcast_series":[8316],"cwp_profile":[9514],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305527","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-raising-boys","category-tweens","tag-fatherhood","podcast_series-between-us-guys","cwp_profile-joel-fitzpatrick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305527\/connecting-with-your-sons","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305527\/connecting-with-your-sons","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"GleYSNvVad\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-sons\/\">Connecting With Your Sons<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-sons\/embed\/#?secret=GleYSNvVad\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Connecting With Your Sons&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"GleYSNvVad\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-15.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-15.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Fathers have a responsibility to disciple their sons and their daughters; but honestly, that can feel awkward at times; right? Joel Fitzpatrick says he learned he just needed to keep showing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I thought, \u201cHow can I best lead my son to Scripture?\u201d I\u2019ve gone through a lot of that pain of trial and error; but the reality is\u2014our sons are so forgiving. I mean, most sons will just be stoked to be on a walk with you. You don\u2019t have to nail it, dad; you don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. I know there are some dads, who are thinking: \u201cI could take a walk with my son,\u201d or \u201cI could go out, and we could get coffee together; but what do I say?\u201d We\u2019re going to talk today about what you say. Our guest is Joel Fitzpatrick. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Dave, as you were raising your boys, did you have like set time during the week or the month\u2014did you have dad-son\/one on one: \u201cLet\u2019s do this. Let\u2019s have talks,\u201d kind of stuff in your schedule or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, I was more do it as a way of life than scripted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>My wife knows that; that\u2019s how I\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When I asked the question, she pulled back, like, \u201cYes, I want to see how you answer this one.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We used to have these conversations, where she\u2019s like: \u201cYou need to plan. You need to schedule time every week.\u201d I would look at her, like, \u201cUh, how\u2019s that work?\u201d She didn\u2019t like that, but I got it done a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>But I will say: \u201cYou were the master of play.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Hey, I like that: \u201cmaster of play.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>He really was. I think that\u2019s really important, especially for boys, where he would be having the entire neighborhood in our front yard every single night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>These little kids would knock on our front door and [Childish voice]: \u201cCan Mr. Wilson come out and play?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>They did! They didn\u2019t ask for our kids; they asked for Dave to come out\u2014Mr. Wilson: \u201cCan Mr. Wilson play with us tonight?\u201d We did everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, I think, as a wife, I had this, \u201cYou need to talk to them, too.\u201d Dave didn\u2019t have a dad that was in his home, so I think the conversations\u2014I think you felt like, \u201cWhat do I talk about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, I had to figure it out; and there weren\u2019t a lot of resources. It would be driving to a practice\u2014I can remember feeling nervous\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t want to just talk about nothing, so here we go: \u2018Let\u2019s talk about girls\u2019\u201d; you know?\u2014just throwing the topic out there. Here\u2019s what I do remember\u2014you throw a topic out, and they want to talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>They really do! So you talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have Joel Fitzpatrick joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Joel, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Joel\u2019s a speaker and author, a pastor, a construction worker, a writer\u2014he\u2019s a Renaissance man. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I also cook a mean rack of ribs! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, okay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>So I\u2019m just saying, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Mmm!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Joel and his wife have two kids and live in Southern California. Joel\u2019s written a book called <em>Between Us Guys: Fourteen Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons<\/em>. If this book had been around 30 years ago, Ann, you would have put it on Dave\u2019s bedside table and said: \u201cDo this! Do this!\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You know me really well now, Bob. [Laughter] You know that I\u2019m a control freak nag\u2014kind of. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But this book does give dads what all of us were lacking at the time, which is a guided conversation on topics that matter. Did you have all 14 of these conversations with your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>It\u2019s funny; actually, my son and I had probably 40 conversations as I was writing this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>My son and I went out, and we walked and we talked. That\u2019s our thing to do together. If there\u2019s something that I notice that he brings up in our conversations, then I\u2019ll ping in on that and start to talk to him about it. But the reality is\u2014it\u2019s just shaped around paying attention to what he\u2019s saying; paying attention to him as an individual and a human being, and giving him that respect as his dad. I think that goes a long way\u2014what we were talking about\u2014about being validated by our dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want <em>him<\/em> to know that I see him. That\u2019s one of the most beautiful things, to me, about the gospels\u2014is how often it says that Jesus <em>sees<\/em> someone. It doesn\u2019t say that He talks at them; it says that He sees them, and He sees their condition. I want to live that out with my son. I want my son to <em>know<\/em> that I see him, and I long for a relationship with him, and I\u2019m going to sit there and listen to him. Even if the topic doesn\u2019t matter much to me, I\u2019m going to listen to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I went through that, I began to talk to him and say, \u201cHey, do you mind if I start to use some of our conversations as a way to write and to model this book?\u201d He said, \u201cYes, I don\u2019t mind that, Dad.\u201d I said: \u201cRight on. What that means, then, is that, if I blow a conversation\u2014like if I do it really, really badly\u2014I need you to say something to me about it. I need <em>you<\/em> to tell me and critique me on what I\u2019m saying to you. If I don\u2019t make sense to you, I need you to say that to me; because together, we\u2019re going to write this book; and then we\u2019re going to give it to other people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So he was your editor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>He was totally my editor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He really was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, I think that that\u2019s so beautiful\u2014number one, walking and talking is biblical\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014right?\u2014Deuteronomy 6: \u201cAs you walk along the way, teach.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But I want to go back to something you said that I think is <em>so<\/em> powerful: \u201clooking and seeing him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I preached Mark 10:21; anybody know what it is?\u2014it\u2019s the rich young ruler story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Sweet; oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>In the Mark passage is that line, after he tells Him, \u201cHow do I get to heaven?\u201d \u201cKeep all the commandments,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cBe perfect.\u201d It says, \u201cHe looked at him and loved him.\u201d I camped there; because I\u2019m like, \u201cEvery person wants to know God\u2019s looking at them, not with condemnation or judgment, but with love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>This guy\u2019s going to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to Jesus. You\u2019re going to expect a look of, \u201cOh, you have to be kidding Me. You\u2019re not going to say, \u2018Yes\u2019? You\u2019re going to say, \u2018No\u2019?\u201d No! He looks at him and loves him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, so often, we don\u2019t believe our heavenly Father looks at us that way. I tried to make the point: \u201cHe doesn\u2019t look at you and [me] with condemnation; because He took that condemnation and put it on His Son,\u201d and \u201cHe looks at us with love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what you\u2019ve already said, Joel\u2014talk about this\u2014we are representing to our sons the look or the love of the Father. We are embodying that to them as you walk along the way and as you have this conversation. Talk about how important that is; because you\u2019re the dad doing that, but you don\u2019t\u2014I mean, we don\u2019t often realize, \u201cI am communicating to my son a view of God that will stick with him, maybe, forever.\u201d Scary!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, it absolutely is scary. It\u2019s totally heavy, but it\u2019s the way that God set up the world\u2014right?\u2014and so much our kids see different aspects of God in both their moms and their dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture that has always stuck with me\u2014and this is going to get really nerdy; so if I nerd out too much, please let me know\u2014is Rembrandt\u2019s painting of the return of the prodigal son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>That painting\u2014dads, if you haven\u2019t seen it, just Google it; look at it. It\u2019s this idea of this eternal, loving embrace\u2014that the father takes his prodigal son in. The father sees his prodigal son from afar off, and then he ran and embraced him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat, to me, is like the most beautiful picture of fatherhood\/of parenting that we can give our sons. It\u2019s this reality that we see them in the middle of their struggle; we see them when they\u2019re near to us; we see them when they\u2019re far away\u2014we see them. We don\u2019t come after them and beat them over the head; instead, what we do is we sit there; and we pray; and we hope; and we long and we chase after, if appropriate. Then, when they return, we don\u2019t heap shame on their shame; because the prodigal already had it\/I already had it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I came home after a long night of sinning, I already had enough shame to carry into the door on my own. What I <em>longed<\/em> for was a dad, who would hug me and say: \u201cI love you, son. You\u2019re acting like a moron. It\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see that\u2014I think every man longs for that from his dad. I think most kids, men and women, long for that from their dad\u2014for their dad to be so settled and rooted in the reality of the gospel that he is willing to, not take his kids\u2019 sins as a portrayal of his own parenting or a betrayal of him as a human being, but instead looks at his kids\u2019 sins\/looks at his kids\u2019 struggles and just holds him and makes things safe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happens for me, as a woman. I have so many wives and moms coming to me. Everything you\u2019re describing, they\u2019re longing for that for their sons and for their husbands; but they feel like their husbands are disconnected. They\u2019re so busy; they\u2019re so tired; they don\u2019t even know their kids\u2019 friends, let alone having a conversation, asking their son how they\u2019re doing. Why is that?\u2014and what we can we do, as women and wives, that can encourage our husbands, without nagging them and making them feel guilty about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I get asked this question a lot. Quite frankly, I\u2019m not a woman, so I want to be very careful with speaking in this realm. I would say, the things that my wife has done to encourage me that have been the most effective have been: one, to pray; two, when she sees this starting to go on, to encourage it; three, to pray more; and four, to just encourage their husbands\u2014not in a way that\u2019s like: \u201cHey, did you go out and walk with him yet? [Laughter] I heard this interview on the radio; and this guy said \u2018\u2026walks and talks,\u2019 and you should go do walks and talks.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut instead, it\u2019s: \u201cHey, honey; I love you, and I notice how you do these certain parts of parenting really, really well. I want to just affirm that in you, and I want to love you, and I want to encourage you in that. What do you think about this\u2026?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, as men, a lot of times, we don\u2019t like to be told what to do; right? We\u2019re just like, \u201cNo, don\u2019t tell me what to do.\u201d I\u2019ll tell you\u2014a kind word, spoken gently\u2014man, that encourages me when my wife says that to me. If it\u2019s done enough times, then sometimes, it gets through my thick skull.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, we know this\u2014but little boys respond to affirmation, and men are little boys in big bodies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s so true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>When we\u2019re affirmed, we respond. When we\u2019re critiqued, we often either rebel or turn\u2014or withdraw\u2014almost go within. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can almost tell you the year I noticed, \u201cMy wife is complimenting me constantly; and now, I\u2019m doing things that she used to critique me on doing them.\u201d She motivated me through love, and through kindness, and through affirmation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had a series\u2014you said dozens\u2014of walks and talks with your son, having these kinds of conversations. I think a lot of dads would go, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t have a starting place\/if I didn\u2019t have a script in place, I wouldn\u2019t know what to do. If I said, \u2018Tell me about your day,\u2019\u2014he starts talking\u2014I don\u2019t know what to say when he talks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think, as men, we feel intimidated by what leadership\/what shepherding should look like. We go: \u201cI didn\u2019t go to Westminster Seminary. I\u2019m not a pastor, so I don\u2019t know how to bring gospel truth to my son or tell him what verse applies here.\u201d That\u2019s part of the reason that you mapped out some sample scripts for a dad to follow; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; in these scripts, not only are there questions\u2014because I struggled with that too\u2014I mean, even though I did go to Westminster, I struggled with that too\u2014like: \u201cHow do I ask a good question at this point in our conversation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, I just tried; and through the trial and error, my son and I kind of landed on the questions that you read in the book. I thought, \u201cHow can I best lead my son to Scripture?\u201d and that\u2019s what you find in the book. I\u2019ve gone through a lot of that pain of trial and error; but the reality is\u2014our sons are <em>so<\/em> forgiving. Most sons will just be stoked to be on a walk with you. You don\u2019t have to nail it, dad; you don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot only that, but a lot of times, when we hear someone talk to us, dads, we\u2019re trying to anticipate what we\u2019re going to say next instead of actually just listening. You see, there\u2019s nothing wrong with going to you son, \u201cHey, tell me about your day,\u201d and then for the next 30 minutes not saying a word. That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> example to our sons of exactly how God listens to us when we pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some of the subjects that you cover in the book are the ones we\u2019d go, \u201cWell, duh, dad needs to talk to his son about girls, and about sex, and about peers, and about money.\u201d But then there are others that are in here that I go: \u201cThat\u2019s interesting: \u2018Have a talk with your son about failure and perfection, or about heaven.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did these just happen organically; or did you walk out and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to talk about failure today\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>No, it was absolutely organic. When I was writing this book, our family was going through a really deep time of suffering and trial. My son, through that, was struggling with grasping concepts at school; because our lives were just in turmoil. There was a lot of failure in a lot of areas, not just school, but on all of our parts\u2014there was failure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it came up organically. It came up as we\u2019re just trying to work through the dumpster-fire of our lives. We\u2019re looking at it; and I\u2019m saying to him: \u201cSon, forgive me. I failed you. I failed you in this area. I lost my temper,\u201d or \u201cI failed you in this area; I didn\u2019t shepherd you properly through it.\u201d It came from him saying: \u201cDad, I\u2019m really struggling over here. I want to be perfect. I think that, if I apply myself hard enough, I should be able to do this perfectly.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat whole kind of complex of events led to these organic conversations as we\u2019re out on a walk or we\u2019re eating a hamburger. It\u2019s just like: \u201cSon, I\u2019m sorry; but you\u2019re never going to be perfect. Yes, you want to be that way; because you were created to be perfect. You were created with the ability to be that way, but sin broke that. Praise God Jesus was.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is where, having a framework in mind\u2014whatever the subject that comes up: whether it\u2019s failure and perfection, or money, or peer group\u2014to say: \u201cHere\u2019s how we were created\u2014that all of this would happen perfectly, that we would respond to things perfectly, that the world would not make mistakes, that we wouldn\u2019t make mistakes\u2014that was God\u2019s intent and design; but here\u2019s what happened as a result of the fall: \u201cWe mess up all the time; and it\u2019s not just you that messes up all the time,\u201d\u2014to our sons\u2014\u201cbut it\u2019s me. I mess up, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things your sister said in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> over and over again\u2014it\u2019s on repeat at our house\u2014\u201cI\u2019m a sinner just like you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So that your kids know: \u201cThis is not just you messing up, but <em>we<\/em> mess up. We\u2019re fallen, broken people. But here comes Jesus in the midst of our fallen-ness and brokenness. He lives a life we couldn\u2019t live; He dies to forgive us for the sins that we\u2019ve committed; and then He comes and says: \u2018I\u2019m going to restore; I\u2019m going to bring new life; I\u2019m going to dust off and clean up and help you be what you were designed to be.\u2019 It still won\u2019t be perfect, and you\u2019ll keep coming back for grace\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, whatever the subject is\u2014\u201cYou and girls,\u201d \u201cYou and money,\u201d \u201cYou and grades\u201d\u2014whatever the conversations, there\u2019s a framework here we can walk through: \u201cIt was made to be this way; it got messed up, Jesus comes to rescue us; and now, we can walk in His strength, and in His power, and in His righteousness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, the reality is: \u201cDads, if you think to yourself, \u2018My son doesn\u2019t know that I\u2019m not perfect,\u2019 you have another think coming, brother. [Laughter] Your son <em>knows<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Earlier, you said you asked your son\u2014if you blew it, for him to tell you. Did he ever tell you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Like what kind of area?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>There were times, where we would talk, especially in the defending others section of the book\u2014but you know, my son and I have this conversation regularly. When we first started disciplining our children\u2014you know when they get to that age, where you\u2019re like, \u201cOkay; it\u2019s time to start disciplining our children,\u201d\u2014I <em>never<\/em> wanted my kids to think that I was above correction. I actually told my kids\/I gave them free reign\u2014I learned this from Paul Tripp\u2014I gave them free reign: \u201cIf you ever see me screw up, you are welcome to come and confront me about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is a running theme. When I\u2019ll go to discipline my kids, I\u2019ll say, \u201cDo you think I\u2019m being too harsh here?\u201d You know what\u2019s funny about my kids? When you build that level of trust with your children, when they can confront you about things, they\u2019ll usually say: \u201cNo, I think you\u2019re actually probably pretty right on with that. I can totally see why you\u2019re doing that there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not just saying to them: \u201cDo this because I tell you to do it. You do this because I\u2019m the dad and you\u2019re my child, and as long as you live under this roof, you\u2019re going to do it this way.\u201d I don\u2019t ever tell my kids that. All I\u2019m doing there is I\u2019m using my power inappropriately to force my kids to do something. Now, sometimes, I do have to force them\u2014right?\u2014but it\u2019s never in a way that\u2019s mean-spirited, or harsh, or out of anger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014which is true of our heavenly Father as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s always out of His love and relationship that He longs for with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would just add that one of the best things about your book is\u2014it\u2019s a conversation-starter with a guide and direction. Anytime you\u2019re in a conversation with somebody, good things can happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Where it\u2019s a one-way deal, where there\u2019s not dialogue, you\u2019re in trouble; but when there\u2019s a conversation\u2014here\u2019s one of the things I\u2019ve found interesting\u2014is it\u2019s written for me and my son, or a dad and his son, but you could do this with your son and several friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour first lesson is on community and having friends. It could really open up something pretty beautiful with several boys; and some of those boys might not have a dad, and you could be that guy. You have a guide; you can use it; you can change somebody else\u2019s life as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing\u2014you\u2019ve given us the blueprint. A dad might look at that and go, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can have that; I don\u2019t know that we can do this.\u201d Okay; you have the theme: \u201cHow are you going to have that conversation?\u201d Or you look and say, \u201cWell, he didn\u2019t bring up this subject.\u201d Okay; you have a framework here: \u201cHow can <em>you<\/em> have that conversation?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: \u201cBe intentional, and here\u2019s a tool that will help you execute.\u201d I guarantee you\u2014the dads, who will get a book like this and go through it with their kids, your boys will be miles ahead of the other boys. Even if you blow it in the conversations, they\u2019ll be miles ahead; because so many boys are growing up, having no conversations with their dads; because either dad\u2019s not there, physically, or dad\u2019s checked out and busy about other things and not having these kinds of conversations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoel, thanks for the book; thanks for coaching us as dads; and thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have copies of Joel\u2019s book, <em>Between Us Guys<\/em>, available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Between Us Guys: Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons<\/em> by Joel Fitzpatrick. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who\u2019s the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is here with us. This conversation felt like it was on mission for us; don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes; if you know anything about FamilyLife, you know that we believe in the power of being intentional and the power of taking a step of faith and trusting God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in your marriage, in your parenting\u2014wherever you are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>\u2014in every area; absolutely. When I think about dads\u2014and an area where dads can tend to be not present so often\u2014just showing up can have a <em>profound<\/em> impact and effect on our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve discussed another <em>amazing<\/em> resource today. I <em>love<\/em> this conversation. But like with any tool and resource, no matter how genius they are, it really comes down to: \u201c\u2026if they\u2019re being used.\u201d So dads, we\u2019re back to the place of: \u201cAre we going to be intentional and show up right now in this season?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to challenge us today, as dads\u2014I\u2019m challenging myself and I want to challenge you\u2014let\u2019s decide today to take a first step: putting time on our calendar. As much as we\u2019d like these conversations to happen naturally, we all know that our schedules are so often so packed that this could be a great idea that simply gets lost. Make a plan for this week\u2014set up a time, grab your son, and get a great resource like this and put it to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; thank you, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we have copies of Joel\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to ask you to pray this weekend for couples who will be joining us for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways happening in northwest Washington\u2014in Bellingham, Washington; Coeur d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Detroit, Michigan; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; and Williamsburg, Virginia. We have thousands of couples, who will be out this weekend for a two-and-a-half-day getaway for couples. Pray for them as they spend time focusing on building oneness in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to those of you who make these kinds of events possible by supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear from singer\/songwriter Laura Story. She wrote the song, \u201cIndescribable, uncontainable\u2026\u201d\u2014you know that; and other songs\u2014the song, <em>Blessings<\/em>. Lots of great music from Laura. She joins us on Monday. We hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:29:00"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.55M"],"filesize_raw":["27841595"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305527.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305527.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Fitzpatrick loves to take walks with his son where he can represent the love of the Father to him. In a day when disconnection is the rule, Fitzpatrick challenges dads to talk to their sons about the topics they deal with on a daily basis.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Fathers have a responsibility to disciple their sons and their daughters; but honestly, that can feel awkward at times; right? Joel Fitzpatrick says he learned he just needed to keep showing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I thought, \u201cHow can I best lead my son to Scripture?\u201d I\u2019ve gone through a lot of that pain of trial and error; but the reality is\u2014our sons are so forgiving. I mean, most sons will just be stoked to be on a walk with you. You don\u2019t have to nail it, dad; you don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 15<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. I know there are some dads, who are thinking: \u201cI could take a walk with my son,\u201d or \u201cI could go out, and we could get coffee together; but what do I say?\u201d We\u2019re going to talk today about what you say. Our guest is Joel Fitzpatrick. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Dave, as you were raising your boys, did you have like set time during the week or the month\u2014did you have dad-son\/one on one: \u201cLet\u2019s do this. Let\u2019s have talks,\u201d kind of stuff in your schedule or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, I was more do it as a way of life than scripted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>My wife knows that; that\u2019s how I\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When I asked the question, she pulled back, like, \u201cYes, I want to see how you answer this one.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We used to have these conversations, where she\u2019s like: \u201cYou need to plan. You need to schedule time every week.\u201d I would look at her, like, \u201cUh, how\u2019s that work?\u201d She didn\u2019t like that, but I got it done a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>But I will say: \u201cYou were the master of play.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Hey, I like that: \u201cmaster of play.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>He really was. I think that\u2019s really important, especially for boys, where he would be having the entire neighborhood in our front yard every single night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>These little kids would knock on our front door and [Childish voice]: \u201cCan Mr. Wilson come out and play?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>They did! They didn\u2019t ask for our kids; they asked for Dave to come out\u2014Mr. Wilson: \u201cCan Mr. Wilson play with us tonight?\u201d We did everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, I think, as a wife, I had this, \u201cYou need to talk to them, too.\u201d Dave didn\u2019t have a dad that was in his home, so I think the conversations\u2014I think you felt like, \u201cWhat do I talk about?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, I had to figure it out; and there weren\u2019t a lot of resources. It would be driving to a practice\u2014I can remember feeling nervous\u2014\u201cI don\u2019t want to just talk about nothing, so here we go: \u2018Let\u2019s talk about girls\u2019\u201d; you know?\u2014just throwing the topic out there. Here\u2019s what I do remember\u2014you throw a topic out, and they want to talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>They really do! So you talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have Joel Fitzpatrick joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Joel, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Joel\u2019s a speaker and author, a pastor, a construction worker, a writer\u2014he\u2019s a Renaissance man. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I also cook a mean rack of ribs! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Oh, okay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>So I\u2019m just saying, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Mmm!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Joel and his wife have two kids and live in Southern California. Joel\u2019s written a book called <em>Between Us Guys: Fourteen Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons<\/em>. If this book had been around 30 years ago, Ann, you would have put it on Dave\u2019s bedside table and said: \u201cDo this! Do this!\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You know me really well now, Bob. [Laughter] You know that I\u2019m a control freak nag\u2014kind of. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But this book does give dads what all of us were lacking at the time, which is a guided conversation on topics that matter. Did you have all 14 of these conversations with your son?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>It\u2019s funny; actually, my son and I had probably 40 conversations as I was writing this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>My son and I went out, and we walked and we talked. That\u2019s our thing to do together. If there\u2019s something that I notice that he brings up in our conversations, then I\u2019ll ping in on that and start to talk to him about it. But the reality is\u2014it\u2019s just shaped around paying attention to what he\u2019s saying; paying attention to him as an individual and a human being, and giving him that respect as his dad. I think that goes a long way\u2014what we were talking about\u2014about being validated by our dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want <em>him<\/em> to know that I see him. That\u2019s one of the most beautiful things, to me, about the gospels\u2014is how often it says that Jesus <em>sees<\/em> someone. It doesn\u2019t say that He talks at them; it says that He sees them, and He sees their condition. I want to live that out with my son. I want my son to <em>know<\/em> that I see him, and I long for a relationship with him, and I\u2019m going to sit there and listen to him. Even if the topic doesn\u2019t matter much to me, I\u2019m going to listen to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I went through that, I began to talk to him and say, \u201cHey, do you mind if I start to use some of our conversations as a way to write and to model this book?\u201d He said, \u201cYes, I don\u2019t mind that, Dad.\u201d I said: \u201cRight on. What that means, then, is that, if I blow a conversation\u2014like if I do it really, really badly\u2014I need you to say something to me about it. I need <em>you<\/em> to tell me and critique me on what I\u2019m saying to you. If I don\u2019t make sense to you, I need you to say that to me; because together, we\u2019re going to write this book; and then we\u2019re going to give it to other people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So he was your editor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>He was totally my editor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He really was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, I think that that\u2019s so beautiful\u2014number one, walking and talking is biblical\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014right?\u2014Deuteronomy 6: \u201cAs you walk along the way, teach.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But I want to go back to something you said that I think is <em>so<\/em> powerful: \u201clooking and seeing him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I preached Mark 10:21; anybody know what it is?\u2014it\u2019s the rich young ruler story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Sweet; oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>In the Mark passage is that line, after he tells Him, \u201cHow do I get to heaven?\u201d \u201cKeep all the commandments,\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cBe perfect.\u201d It says, \u201cHe looked at him and loved him.\u201d I camped there; because I\u2019m like, \u201cEvery person wants to know God\u2019s looking at them, not with condemnation or judgment, but with love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>This guy\u2019s going to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to Jesus. You\u2019re going to expect a look of, \u201cOh, you have to be kidding Me. You\u2019re not going to say, \u2018Yes\u2019? You\u2019re going to say, \u2018No\u2019?\u201d No! He looks at him and loves him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, so often, we don\u2019t believe our heavenly Father looks at us that way. I tried to make the point: \u201cHe doesn\u2019t look at you and [me] with condemnation; because He took that condemnation and put it on His Son,\u201d and \u201cHe looks at us with love.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what you\u2019ve already said, Joel\u2014talk about this\u2014we are representing to our sons the look or the love of the Father. We are embodying that to them as you walk along the way and as you have this conversation. Talk about how important that is; because you\u2019re the dad doing that, but you don\u2019t\u2014I mean, we don\u2019t often realize, \u201cI am communicating to my son a view of God that will stick with him, maybe, forever.\u201d Scary!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, it absolutely is scary. It\u2019s totally heavy, but it\u2019s the way that God set up the world\u2014right?\u2014and so much our kids see different aspects of God in both their moms and their dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe picture that has always stuck with me\u2014and this is going to get really nerdy; so if I nerd out too much, please let me know\u2014is Rembrandt\u2019s painting of the return of the prodigal son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>That painting\u2014dads, if you haven\u2019t seen it, just Google it; look at it. It\u2019s this idea of this eternal, loving embrace\u2014that the father takes his prodigal son in. The father sees his prodigal son from afar off, and then he ran and embraced him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat, to me, is like the most beautiful picture of fatherhood\/of parenting that we can give our sons. It\u2019s this reality that we see them in the middle of their struggle; we see them when they\u2019re near to us; we see them when they\u2019re far away\u2014we see them. We don\u2019t come after them and beat them over the head; instead, what we do is we sit there; and we pray; and we hope; and we long and we chase after, if appropriate. Then, when they return, we don\u2019t heap shame on their shame; because the prodigal already had it\/I already had it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I came home after a long night of sinning, I already had enough shame to carry into the door on my own. What I <em>longed<\/em> for was a dad, who would hug me and say: \u201cI love you, son. You\u2019re acting like a moron. It\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see that\u2014I think every man longs for that from his dad. I think most kids, men and women, long for that from their dad\u2014for their dad to be so settled and rooted in the reality of the gospel that he is willing to, not take his kids\u2019 sins as a portrayal of his own parenting or a betrayal of him as a human being, but instead looks at his kids\u2019 sins\/looks at his kids\u2019 struggles and just holds him and makes things safe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happens for me, as a woman. I have so many wives and moms coming to me. Everything you\u2019re describing, they\u2019re longing for that for their sons and for their husbands; but they feel like their husbands are disconnected. They\u2019re so busy; they\u2019re so tired; they don\u2019t even know their kids\u2019 friends, let alone having a conversation, asking their son how they\u2019re doing. Why is that?\u2014and what we can we do, as women and wives, that can encourage our husbands, without nagging them and making them feel guilty about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>I get asked this question a lot. Quite frankly, I\u2019m not a woman, so I want to be very careful with speaking in this realm. I would say, the things that my wife has done to encourage me that have been the most effective have been: one, to pray; two, when she sees this starting to go on, to encourage it; three, to pray more; and four, to just encourage their husbands\u2014not in a way that\u2019s like: \u201cHey, did you go out and walk with him yet? [Laughter] I heard this interview on the radio; and this guy said \u2018\u2026walks and talks,\u2019 and you should go do walks and talks.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut instead, it\u2019s: \u201cHey, honey; I love you, and I notice how you do these certain parts of parenting really, really well. I want to just affirm that in you, and I want to love you, and I want to encourage you in that. What do you think about this\u2026?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou see, as men, a lot of times, we don\u2019t like to be told what to do; right? We\u2019re just like, \u201cNo, don\u2019t tell me what to do.\u201d I\u2019ll tell you\u2014a kind word, spoken gently\u2014man, that encourages me when my wife says that to me. If it\u2019s done enough times, then sometimes, it gets through my thick skull.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, we know this\u2014but little boys respond to affirmation, and men are little boys in big bodies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s so true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>When we\u2019re affirmed, we respond. When we\u2019re critiqued, we often either rebel or turn\u2014or withdraw\u2014almost go within. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can almost tell you the year I noticed, \u201cMy wife is complimenting me constantly; and now, I\u2019m doing things that she used to critique me on doing them.\u201d She motivated me through love, and through kindness, and through affirmation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had a series\u2014you said dozens\u2014of walks and talks with your son, having these kinds of conversations. I think a lot of dads would go, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t have a starting place\/if I didn\u2019t have a script in place, I wouldn\u2019t know what to do. If I said, \u2018Tell me about your day,\u2019\u2014he starts talking\u2014I don\u2019t know what to say when he talks.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think, as men, we feel intimidated by what leadership\/what shepherding should look like. We go: \u201cI didn\u2019t go to Westminster Seminary. I\u2019m not a pastor, so I don\u2019t know how to bring gospel truth to my son or tell him what verse applies here.\u201d That\u2019s part of the reason that you mapped out some sample scripts for a dad to follow; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; in these scripts, not only are there questions\u2014because I struggled with that too\u2014I mean, even though I did go to Westminster, I struggled with that too\u2014like: \u201cHow do I ask a good question at this point in our conversation?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, I just tried; and through the trial and error, my son and I kind of landed on the questions that you read in the book. I thought, \u201cHow can I best lead my son to Scripture?\u201d and that\u2019s what you find in the book. I\u2019ve gone through a lot of that pain of trial and error; but the reality is\u2014our sons are <em>so<\/em> forgiving. Most sons will just be stoked to be on a walk with you. You don\u2019t have to nail it, dad; you don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot only that, but a lot of times, when we hear someone talk to us, dads, we\u2019re trying to anticipate what we\u2019re going to say next instead of actually just listening. You see, there\u2019s nothing wrong with going to you son, \u201cHey, tell me about your day,\u201d and then for the next 30 minutes not saying a word. That\u2019s a <em>beautiful<\/em> example to our sons of exactly how God listens to us when we pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some of the subjects that you cover in the book are the ones we\u2019d go, \u201cWell, duh, dad needs to talk to his son about girls, and about sex, and about peers, and about money.\u201d But then there are others that are in here that I go: \u201cThat\u2019s interesting: \u2018Have a talk with your son about failure and perfection, or about heaven.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did these just happen organically; or did you walk out and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to talk about failure today\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>No, it was absolutely organic. When I was writing this book, our family was going through a really deep time of suffering and trial. My son, through that, was struggling with grasping concepts at school; because our lives were just in turmoil. There was a lot of failure in a lot of areas, not just school, but on all of our parts\u2014there was failure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it came up organically. It came up as we\u2019re just trying to work through the dumpster-fire of our lives. We\u2019re looking at it; and I\u2019m saying to him: \u201cSon, forgive me. I failed you. I failed you in this area. I lost my temper,\u201d or \u201cI failed you in this area; I didn\u2019t shepherd you properly through it.\u201d It came from him saying: \u201cDad, I\u2019m really struggling over here. I want to be perfect. I think that, if I apply myself hard enough, I should be able to do this perfectly.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat whole kind of complex of events led to these organic conversations as we\u2019re out on a walk or we\u2019re eating a hamburger. It\u2019s just like: \u201cSon, I\u2019m sorry; but you\u2019re never going to be perfect. Yes, you want to be that way; because you were created to be perfect. You were created with the ability to be that way, but sin broke that. Praise God Jesus was.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is where, having a framework in mind\u2014whatever the subject that comes up: whether it\u2019s failure and perfection, or money, or peer group\u2014to say: \u201cHere\u2019s how we were created\u2014that all of this would happen perfectly, that we would respond to things perfectly, that the world would not make mistakes, that we wouldn\u2019t make mistakes\u2014that was God\u2019s intent and design; but here\u2019s what happened as a result of the fall: \u201cWe mess up all the time; and it\u2019s not just you that messes up all the time,\u201d\u2014to our sons\u2014\u201cbut it\u2019s me. I mess up, too.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things your sister said in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> over and over again\u2014it\u2019s on repeat at our house\u2014\u201cI\u2019m a sinner just like you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So that your kids know: \u201cThis is not just you messing up, but <em>we<\/em> mess up. We\u2019re fallen, broken people. But here comes Jesus in the midst of our fallen-ness and brokenness. He lives a life we couldn\u2019t live; He dies to forgive us for the sins that we\u2019ve committed; and then He comes and says: \u2018I\u2019m going to restore; I\u2019m going to bring new life; I\u2019m going to dust off and clean up and help you be what you were designed to be.\u2019 It still won\u2019t be perfect, and you\u2019ll keep coming back for grace\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, whatever the subject is\u2014\u201cYou and girls,\u201d \u201cYou and money,\u201d \u201cYou and grades\u201d\u2014whatever the conversations, there\u2019s a framework here we can walk through: \u201cIt was made to be this way; it got messed up, Jesus comes to rescue us; and now, we can walk in His strength, and in His power, and in His righteousness.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, the reality is: \u201cDads, if you think to yourself, \u2018My son doesn\u2019t know that I\u2019m not perfect,\u2019 you have another think coming, brother. [Laughter] Your son <em>knows<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Earlier, you said you asked your son\u2014if you blew it, for him to tell you. Did he ever tell you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Like what kind of area?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>There were times, where we would talk, especially in the defending others section of the book\u2014but you know, my son and I have this conversation regularly. When we first started disciplining our children\u2014you know when they get to that age, where you\u2019re like, \u201cOkay; it\u2019s time to start disciplining our children,\u201d\u2014I <em>never<\/em> wanted my kids to think that I was above correction. I actually told my kids\/I gave them free reign\u2014I learned this from Paul Tripp\u2014I gave them free reign: \u201cIf you ever see me screw up, you are welcome to come and confront me about that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is a running theme. When I\u2019ll go to discipline my kids, I\u2019ll say, \u201cDo you think I\u2019m being too harsh here?\u201d You know what\u2019s funny about my kids? When you build that level of trust with your children, when they can confront you about things, they\u2019ll usually say: \u201cNo, I think you\u2019re actually probably pretty right on with that. I can totally see why you\u2019re doing that there.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not just saying to them: \u201cDo this because I tell you to do it. You do this because I\u2019m the dad and you\u2019re my child, and as long as you live under this roof, you\u2019re going to do it this way.\u201d I don\u2019t ever tell my kids that. All I\u2019m doing there is I\u2019m using my power inappropriately to force my kids to do something. Now, sometimes, I do have to force them\u2014right?\u2014but it\u2019s never in a way that\u2019s mean-spirited, or harsh, or out of anger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014which is true of our heavenly Father as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s always out of His love and relationship that He longs for with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would just add that one of the best things about your book is\u2014it\u2019s a conversation-starter with a guide and direction. Anytime you\u2019re in a conversation with somebody, good things can happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Where it\u2019s a one-way deal, where there\u2019s not dialogue, you\u2019re in trouble; but when there\u2019s a conversation\u2014here\u2019s one of the things I\u2019ve found interesting\u2014is it\u2019s written for me and my son, or a dad and his son, but you could do this with your son and several friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour first lesson is on community and having friends. It could really open up something pretty beautiful with several boys; and some of those boys might not have a dad, and you could be that guy. You have a guide; you can use it; you can change somebody else\u2019s life as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing\u2014you\u2019ve given us the blueprint. A dad might look at that and go, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can have that; I don\u2019t know that we can do this.\u201d Okay; you have the theme: \u201cHow are you going to have that conversation?\u201d Or you look and say, \u201cWell, he didn\u2019t bring up this subject.\u201d Okay; you have a framework here: \u201cHow can <em>you<\/em> have that conversation?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is: \u201cBe intentional, and here\u2019s a tool that will help you execute.\u201d I guarantee you\u2014the dads, who will get a book like this and go through it with their kids, your boys will be miles ahead of the other boys. Even if you blow it in the conversations, they\u2019ll be miles ahead; because so many boys are growing up, having no conversations with their dads; because either dad\u2019s not there, physically, or dad\u2019s checked out and busy about other things and not having these kinds of conversations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJoel, thanks for the book; thanks for coaching us as dads; and thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes, thanks so much for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have copies of Joel\u2019s book, <em>Between Us Guys<\/em>, available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Between Us Guys: Life-Changing Conversations for Dads and Sons<\/em> by Joel Fitzpatrick. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order, or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins, who\u2019s the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, is here with us. This conversation felt like it was on mission for us; don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes; if you know anything about FamilyLife, you know that we believe in the power of being intentional and the power of taking a step of faith and trusting God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in your marriage, in your parenting\u2014wherever you are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>\u2014in every area; absolutely. When I think about dads\u2014and an area where dads can tend to be not present so often\u2014just showing up can have a <em>profound<\/em> impact and effect on our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve discussed another <em>amazing<\/em> resource today. I <em>love<\/em> this conversation. But like with any tool and resource, no matter how genius they are, it really comes down to: \u201c\u2026if they\u2019re being used.\u201d So dads, we\u2019re back to the place of: \u201cAre we going to be intentional and show up right now in this season?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to challenge us today, as dads\u2014I\u2019m challenging myself and I want to challenge you\u2014let\u2019s decide today to take a first step: putting time on our calendar. As much as we\u2019d like these conversations to happen naturally, we all know that our schedules are so often so packed that this could be a great idea that simply gets lost. Make a plan for this week\u2014set up a time, grab your son, and get a great resource like this and put it to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; thank you, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we have copies of Joel\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to ask you to pray this weekend for couples who will be joining us for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways happening in northwest Washington\u2014in Bellingham, Washington; Coeur d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Detroit, Michigan; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; and Williamsburg, Virginia. We have thousands of couples, who will be out this weekend for a two-and-a-half-day getaway for couples. Pray for them as they spend time focusing on building oneness in their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to those of you who make these kinds of events possible by supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to hear from singer\/songwriter Laura Story. She wrote the song, \u201cIndescribable, uncontainable\u2026\u201d\u2014you know that; and other songs\u2014the song, <em>Blessings<\/em>. Lots of great music from Laura. She joins us on Monday. We hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305527"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305527"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305527"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305527"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}