{"id":305505,"date":"2019-11-08T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-11-08T11:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-spiritually-awake-dad\/"},"modified":"2019-11-08T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-11-08T11:00:04","slug":"the-spiritually-awake-dad","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-spiritually-awake-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"The Spiritually Awake Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jerrad Lopesrallies dads to be &#8220;all in&#8221; when it comes to spiritually engaging with their children. Lopes strives to be the spiritual leader in his home and wants his kids to see just how much he needs Jesus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:13","filesize":"25.84M","filesize_raw":"27093030","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2806],"tags":[4946],"podcast_series":[8314],"cwp_profile":[9579],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305505","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-spiritual-development","tag-fatherhood","podcast_series-dad-tired","cwp_profile-jerrad-lopes","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305505\/the-spiritually-awake-dad","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305505\/the-spiritually-awake-dad","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lAUCzddAWx\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-spiritually-awake-dad\/\">The Spiritually Awake Dad<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-spiritually-awake-dad\/embed\/#?secret=lAUCzddAWx\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Spiritually Awake Dad&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lAUCzddAWx\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Part of spiritual leadership is modeling what confession and repentance look like. We have plenty of opportunities, as dads, to do that. We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Jerrad Lopes. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You had a number of football coaches. Your first football coach\u2014were you in junior high when you played football for the first time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was ten years old, Bob; and I played for the Detroit Lions. It was called the Lions, and we had little Detroit Lions on our helmet. I was a little quarterback. They called me \u201cMouse\u201d; because my voice was so high. [High voice]: \u201cDave! Do 44!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I bring up the coaches, though\u2014because for you to be the caliber quarterback that you wound up being\u2014you played college ball; you\u2019re in the Hall of Fame at Ball State University; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, and those coaches, at every level, were my dads. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s where you were going, but they were the mentors and the men in my life\u2014because I didn\u2019t have a dad in the home\u2014that were the first men I looked at, like, \u201cThat\u2019s what a man is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of what I was thinking was\u2014for you to be a quality quarterback, you had to have somebody, who was correcting, who was shaping, who was pointing you. If you\u2019d just tried to do that on your own, with no coaching\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re a natural athlete, so you\u2019d have been okay; but you\u2019d have never been able to play college ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; my high school coach for all four years was a college quarterback, and he was intricate and trained me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason I mention it is because I think there are a lot of guys today, who are trying to be all-pro dads, and they had no coaching\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014just the little things that a dad knows, where he can correct what\u2019s going on with his son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happens with us, as women and wives\u2014we think, \u201cOh, I can help you!\u201d [Laughter] But instead of coming alongside and encouraging, we\u2019re pointing out the flaws and saying, \u201cThis is what you should do,\u201d and that doesn\u2019t feel like life to a man. That\u2019s not motivating to a man or helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wouldn\u2019t it be great if there was a community of men, who could get together and talk about how to be a dad? Wouldn\u2019t that be something?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, as a matter of fact, as you know, there is one. Jerrad Lopes is joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Jerrad, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jerrad is the author of a book called <em>Dad Tired and Loving It.<\/em> He hosts a podcast called <em>Dad Tired<\/em>, and you do have an online community of\u2014it\u2019s about 8,000 guys in the Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> community?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes, a little over 8,000 guys in that Facebook community; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is guys getting together and saying: \u201cOkay; I need help,\u201d or \u201cI learned this the other day\u2026\u201d or \u201cYou guys should try this\u2026\u201d or \u201cRead this\u2026\u201d They\u2019re just iron sharpening iron with one another. They\u2019re doing some peer-to-peer coaching; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We talked about Dave, as a football player, and his need for a coach. Do you feel like you\u2019ve had a dad coach in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>There was actually a guy\u2014another pastor at a church that I worked at before\u2014I met him at the church before I had started to have kids. He was one of those guys, where I would watch and I saw his kids, who were in their teenage years. I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, man, this guy\u2014he has done something right,\u201d because I\u2019m really impressed with his marriage and really impressed with his kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe took me under his wing and discipled me. He would have me in his home\u2014I would watch the way that they would interact; I would watch the way he was talking to his kids; we\u2019d go on family vacations. That was the first time, really, that I feel like I\u2019d actually been discipled\u2014like life on life\u2014tons of hours of just watching him do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you think of the big takeaway from what you watched?\u2014 how he interacted\u00a0 with his kids; or things you saw, where you said, \u201cI have to do that when I have kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>The biggest takeaway that I can think of\u2014is there were two actual kind of pivotal moments that I remember. One is\u2014I had been stressing about work stuff. I was young and trying to figure out, \u201cWhat am I going to do with my life\/my career?\u201d\u2014just trying to sort all this stuff out. I was really stressed; and I asked him, \u201cCan we go to coffee and just process this together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe listened to me very politely for however long I rambled. He just kind of sat back in his chair, and he smiled and he said: \u201cJerrad, knowing you, you\u2019re going to have a bunch of job titles before you die. You\u2019ll just do a bunch of stuff. Your business card will say a lot of different things. But the titles that will go with you to the grave are \u2018Husband,\u2019 \u2018Father,\u2019 and \u2018Disciple.\u2019 You will die a husband; you will die a father; and you will die a disciple of Jesus.\u201d He said, \u201cGo home and crush it at those things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cOh; okay.\u201d I respect this guy <em>so much<\/em>, and this is what he says is most valuable. I was like\u2014that just relieved me of a ton of stuff. All the other stuff comes and go\u2014jobs come and go\u2014but I just really want to do really well at those three things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think a lot of guys step into life with that pressure, that: \u201cIf I\u2019m going to be the man I\u2019m supposed to be, I have to win in the marketplace,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019ll be able to take care of marriage and family on the backstroke, but I have to really invest in the marketplace.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk with guys about this a lot. Even guys, who are taking their kids to the park and showing up for their Little League\u2014they\u2019re still showing up for the Little League games, but they\u2019re doing emails in the bleachers; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Right; yes. That story made me think of the word picture I\u2019ve heard somewhere\u2014I can\u2019t remember where I heard it, but it\u2019s really popular\u2014that you spend your whole life climbing up the ladder and then you realize you\u2019re on the wrong building. That\u2019s where I don\u2019t want to be\u2014is climbing up something and, by the end of my life, realize, \u201cOh, I\u2019m on the wrong building here!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You talk about that with the jersey, in your book, about running to the wrong end zone. Tell that story, because it\u2019s pretty funny; but it makes this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; I had been a soccer player in high school\u2014that was kind of my sport of choice. There was one day in high school\u2014I was a freshman boy in high school\u2014and I remember it was a Friday. All the football players wore their jersey on game day to get the whole school pumped up for the game that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember I was at my locker; and this guy walked in\/football player\u2014senior in high school walked in\u2014he looked like a celebrity, in my mind, and apparently to everyone else; because all these girls turned and looked at him, just like\u2014again, like a celebrity had walked in the room. I remember, as a 15-year-old boy, thinking: \u201cHow do I get that?! How can I be like that guy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first thought was, \u201cI need a football jersey.\u201d I was at soccer practice that day, and I just ran over to the football team. I just asked the coach, \u201cHey, do you need a kicker?\u201d He said, \u201cSure.\u201d The football team did great. I had my football jersey; I wore that thing four out of the five days of the week; you know? But there was one day, towards the end of the season, where we were just crushing another team. I think the coach\u2014what he was trying to do was just get players, who didn\u2019t get a lot of playing time, some playing time\u2014so he says, \u201cLopes, you\u2019re in!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like: \u201cWhat? We didn\u2019t score! Why am I in?\u201d He says, \u201cLopes!\u201d He gets real mad, like football coaches do: \u201cLopes, you\u2019re in! Get in there!\u201d I run in there; we get in the huddle. The quarterback says a mixture of words I\u2019ve never heard before\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you know, colors, and numbers, and states. I\u2019m like, \u201cI have <em>no idea<\/em> what we\u2019re talking about here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, all the players, at the same time, clap their hands together and run away, which I didn\u2019t know was part of the plan. I\u2019m left standing there, like, \u201cWhat in the world is going on?\u201d I turned to the quarterback and I said, \u201cMan, what\u2019s happening?\u201d He says, \u201cBall\u2019s coming to you, Lopes.\u201d I stand at the line of scrimmage, and he hikes the ball. We make eye contact; and I\u2019m shaking my head, like, \u201cDo not throw that ball to me, man.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe throws me the ball, and I catch it. I turn around, and there\u2019s two seven-foot defenders ready to kill me. I\u2019m in my little kicker pads and my little gear. I\u2019m like, \u201cAbsolutely not; we\u2019re not doing this.\u201d My first thought\u2014again, as a little freshman\u2014was, \u201cI\u2019m just going to run back and give him the ball back, and we\u2019ll start this whole thing over again. Obviously, he didn\u2019t understand what I was saying\u2014that I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u201d [Laughter] Short story long, I ended up losing about 65 yards on the play, before my own team tackled me before I got in the wrong end zone. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy point there is: \u201cReally, what end zone are we actually trying to run towards?\u201d The other point is: \u201cDo you just want to be on the Jesus team, because it comes with a jersey; or are you willing to actually put in the work and figure out what it means to be on the team?\u201d I just wanted a jersey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jerrad, talk to the guy, who is saying: \u201cLook, if I am going to be successful\u2014I mean, keep paying the bills and doing the stuff\u2014I mean, we wanted to put the kids in private school, so I\u2019m working hard to try to make that happen,\u201d or just \u201cWe\u2019re trying to pay off this\u2026\u201d\u2014or whatever it is\u2014and he goes: \u201cThis is what it takes. If I don\u2019t dig in like this and work this hard, our family\u2019s not going to make it. I hear what you\u2019re saying about being there\u2014Little League and all that\u2014but we have to do this to survive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>There are a couple things that I think are happening there. The first one is\u2014I just can\u2019t imagine\u2014and I may be wrong; I\u2019m a young dad\u2014but I can\u2019t imagine I\u2019m going to be an old man and my kids will say, \u201cMan, Dad, I wish you would have just gotten us a little bit more money.\u201d I could imagine them saying, \u201cI wish you would have been around a little bit more, and you would have been a little bit more engaged.\u201d That\u2019s kind of what I\u2019m banking on; that\u2019s why I\u2019m investing so much time with my kids, and helping them become followers of Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing is\u2014I think what\u2019s actually happening, on a deeper level: if those guys, who would say that, are honest\u2014I think what they\u2019re actually feeling is: \u201cI don\u2019t really know what I\u2019m doing as the spiritual leader of my house, but I do know what I\u2019m doing at work,\u201d so I can kind of use the excuse as, \u201cI\u2019m the provider, and I\u2019ll just work super hard; and I\u2019ll send emails late at night, and I\u2019ll just work, work, work; and I\u2019ll put in 50, 60, 70 hours a week.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, if those guys were honest, they would just be like: \u201cI just want to do what I\u2019m good at,\u201d and \u201cI feel good at work, and I don\u2019t really feel that good as the spiritual leader of my home; so being the \u2018provider\u2019 is a good excuse for me to work harder and too much.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And yet, we\u2019re seeing a generation\/your generation\u2014at least, I think I\u2019m seeing\u2014they <em>are<\/em> engaged. Somehow, they\u2019re doing a pretty good job of what they need to do at work, and they are providing\u2014and again, not 100 percent, obviously; but I\u2019m watching my three sons\/I\u2019m watching other young men\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cWow!\u201d My own wife has even said, \u201cYou were <em>never<\/em> that involved, as a dad, as they are.\u201d What do you think is going on with these guys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think there needs to be a push for dads to be engaged with their kids. Of course, there are exceptions to that; we always need dads to be engaged with kids. But I think you\u2019re right\u2014that my generation is really, really engaged. They\u2019re at the parks; they\u2019re at the games; they\u2019re even coaching games. I look around at my peers; and there are some really, really engaged dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe missing link is: \u201cHow do you turn that into being the spiritual leader of your home and pointing your family towards Jesus?\u201d That\u2019s where guys are like: \u201cI actually have no idea. I have no idea how to do that. I can show up to their games; I can coach their games; and I can wrestle around; I can give them baths; change diapers; get up at night and give bottles\u2014or whatever\u2014but when it comes to pointing them towards Jesus, no clue what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would say part of what leads to the shift, where a guy goes, \u201cOkay; I can do this,\u201d\u2014part of it is an understanding of the gospel beyond\u2014\u201cThis is the message about Jesus that we believe that brings us to salvation.\u201d It\u2019s an understanding of the gospel that: \u201cThis is the message that fuels our life, day in and day out, even as followers of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain so a listener, who\u2019s going, \u201cI think about the gospel as that evangelistic appeal that we give to people; and they hear it and they believe it; and then they move on to the other things of life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Right; \u201cSay a prayer, and then I kind of wait to die and go to heaven one day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen, a lot of the stuff that you hear, even sometimes in the church community\/in the Christian community, could be said at an atheist conference, because it\u2019s just \u201cmorally good\u201d stuff. One example of that would be, you know: \u201cYou should apologize often to your kids, because it teaches humility. It\u2019s good for you to be humble; you want your kids to learn to be humble.\u201d Well, of course; everyone agrees with that\u2014Christian\/non-Christian\u2014everyone agrees it\u2019s good to apologize to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe way that you take something like that and you make it a gospel-centered thing\u2014instead of just a good, moral principle is\u2014what I want to do is: I want to apologize to my kids, and I want to apologize to them often; because I want my kids to see that Daddy desperately needs Jesus to change parts of his broken heart. That\u2019s why I apologize\u2014not because I\u2019m just trying to be a humble, good, moral dad\u2014but I want them to see, \u201cDaddy\u2019s not the hero of our family. He\u2019s not the hero of the story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I sit down with my little girl, and I hold her hands and I say: \u201cDaddy has sinned, and I should not have yelled at you like that. I\u2019m sorry, and I need Jesus to fix this broken area of my heart. I\u2019ve asked God for forgiveness, and now I\u2019m asking you for forgiveness. Will you forgive me?\u201d What I\u2019m doing is\u2014I\u2019m modeling for her: \u201cOh, even Daddy needs salvation. Even Daddy needs for somebody to rescue him.\u201d Eventually, one day, I\u2019ll say, \u201cHey, baby girl, you also have sin in your heart; and Jesus needs to rescue you, too.\u201d And that will make sense for her, because she\u2019s seen Daddy apologize over and over and over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When we were putting together the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve had a chance to see it or not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s great stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014I remember one of the contributors, Jessica Thompson, who said, \u201cIn our house, it\u2019s kind of on repeat around here to say, \u2018I\u2019m a sinner, just like you.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, I thought, when we were raising our kids, that what they needed from me was the kind of rock-solid example of righteousness; so that they would see that modeled and they would go, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m supposed to be.\u201d So I thought, \u201cI need to keep hidden\u2026\u201d; but what my kids needed to see was the brokenness in my own life, and my own repentance, and my own need for Jesus; because otherwise, here\u2019s what the kids are thinking\u2014they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI can never be as good as Dad. He, apparently, doesn\u2019t stumble; but I do.\u201d They\u2019ll just start to go the other direction and go, \u201cWell, I can\u2019t be that. I\u2019d better be something else\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yet, on the other side\u2014tell me if I\u2019m accurate here\u2014it\u2019s like they need to see both\u2014the brokenness, the sinfulness of a parent or a human being; and yet, at the same time, victory and power of the Holy Spirit of God\/Jesus\u2019 presence in our life. Both are real. You don\u2019t hide the sin\u2014it\u2019s there, and you confess it, and you apologize\u2014but you also want your children to go: \u201cYes; but Dad has\u2026\u201d \u201cMom has\u2014there\u2019s a power that I want that isn\u2019t them, and I <em>know<\/em> it\u2019s Jesus. I <em>know<\/em> it\u2019s Him!\u201d That\u2019s what\u2014It\u2019s both; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; well, the subtitle of the book is <em>Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership<\/em>. So we\u2019re stumbling, and that\u2019s kind of that: \u201cI\u2019m going to admit that I\u2019m broken, and I don\u2019t have it all figured out,\u201d but we\u2019re also moving somewhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>That\u2019s also saying, \u201cDaddy needs Jesus to change these broken areas of my heart,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the bad news\u2014but it\u2019s also the good news: \u201cJesus will change the broken areas of your heart, and He will make us righteous because of His righteousness in us\u201d; you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the things people in our church have heard me say, over and over again, is that: \u201cWe begin a relationship with Jesus through repenting and believing the gospel; and then we sustain a relationship with Jesus through repenting and re-believing the gospel over and over again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is the perpetual act of recognizing: \u201cOh, I blew it,\u201d and then recognizing, \u201cAnd there\u2019s a Savior, who loves me, who provides forgiveness, and grace, and transformation.\u201d I keep coming back to those words: \u201cforgiveness,\u201d \u201ctransformation,\u201d and \u201chope,\u201d as kind of\u2014what the gospel says is: \u201cYour past is forgiven; your present is being changed; there\u2019s hope for your future.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you can think about: \u201cThis is what I\u2019m living in. I\u2019m living in the reality that, when I blow it today, there\u2019s forgiveness\u2014that God is at work, changing my heart for tomorrow; and then there\u2019s a hope for the future that will not disappoint.\u201d Living with that as the central, motivating factor of your life\u2014the central truth that you\u2019re building everything around\u2014that\u2019s revolutionary; and now that spills into every aspect of your marriage, your parenting, your work, your hobbies, everything; because that\u2019s what life\u2019s built around.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Jerrad, as I talk to so many women, they\u2019re longing for their husbands to encounter this relationship with Jesus\u2014to mentor their kids\/to disciple them. What\u2019s the best way for us, as women, to encourage our men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>About 60 percent of the people who follow along with <em>Dad Tired<\/em>\u2014whether that be social media or the podcast\u2014are women, which isn\u2019t surprising; because women are often the ones kind of taking the lead in the spiritual way for the families. So yes; I get this question all the time. There are lots of women, who say, \u201cPlease, what can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that I always tell women\u2014and I know this will feel like I\u2019m dodging the question\u2014but I just can\u2019t overemphasize a praying wife; because you, as a wife, do not hold the power to change your husband\u2019s heart. You don\u2019t have that. I don\u2019t care how amazing you are; you\u2019re not a good God. You will fail in that, and you need the One who can change hearts. You need to plead before Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always tell wives: \u201cTo not pray is to silently declare that you have more power over that situation than God does.\u201d It starts with praying to say\/to humble yourself enough to say: \u201cGod, I cannot change my husband\u2019s heart. I need You to do what I cannot do.\u201d I believe God will honor that, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014there are many women, who have been praying that for years and years and years, and their husbands just still aren\u2019t doing it. There\u2019s this verse in 1 Peter 3 that says, if your husband doesn\u2019t believe, that you would continue to live righteously so that he might come to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a wife, I think that\u2019s her hope\u2014is that: \u201cI\u2019m going to live in such a way that, even if my husband doesn\u2019t believe, that he might come to faith by seeing me follow and surrender to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think for us, as women, we can ask God, \u201cGod, show me what my husband has that You\u2019ve put in him, and help me to draw that out.\u201d I didn\u2019t do that for years with Dave; but I know that God said to me, \u201cLook at him and see the greatness that I\u2019ve put in him as a spiritual leader.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think men feel inadequate in this area anyway; so when we\u2019re criticizing them, it just heaps on more guilt and shame. I think, for us, as women, we have so much influence\/we have so much power in our words, of asking God, \u201cGod, show me what You\u2019ve put in him that I can call out and draw out of him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would just add\u2014I think, at some point, every man has to make a decision for himself to say: \u201cI\u2019m going to be that dad,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to be that husband, whether my wife encourages or discourages\/whether life is going my way or not.\u201d At some point\u2014I had to do it;\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Bob had to do it; Jerrad, you\u2019ve done it at some point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m speaking to a man right now and saying: \u201cIs today the day? Are you going to keep living the way you\u2019ve been?\u2014and just, maybe, even a victim\u2014like almost like, \u201cAre you going to be too tired to do anything?\u2014dad tired?\u2014or are you going to say, \u2018Dad tired is a normal state of life\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are tired; but at some point, we have to say: \u201cToday\u2019s the day. I want to become the husband God wants me to be\/the dad God wants me to be. I\u2019m going to surround myself with other men; I\u2019m going to jump in this community; and I\u2019m going to win this thing; I\u2019m going to change my legacy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and \u201cI\u2019m going to get the help I need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m not going to try to gut it out, because a lot of guys are going, \u2018I don\u2019t know where to begin.\u2019\u201d Okay; so get some help\u2014get a copy of Jerrad\u2019s book, connect with the Facebook community, read his blog, listen to his podcast. We have information about all of these resources on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJerrad, thanks for taking time to be with us and being a part of the conversation this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>So grateful to be here. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Jerrad\u2019s book and about his blog. The book is called <em>Dad Tired and Loving It: Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership<\/em>. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve mentioned this to you, Jerrad, but the first place I ever heard of you, Jerrad, was when David Robbins, who\u2019s with us in the studio\u2014David mentioned you to me and said, \u201cWe ought to get Jerrad on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d You\u2019ve been a fan for awhile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I have, and I so appreciate our relationship. I mean, he has really stretched me; and I learn from Jerrad. We really enjoy our relationship together. In fact, I remember one of the first times we had a conversation. You gave me a template in talking to our kids and how to relate to them and reflecting Christ to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going home that week and applying it; it was so helpful! There was a discipline moment with one of my sons, and I was looking, eye to eye, with him; and I just remember the power of the moment. I started welling up, telling him, \u201cBuddy, I will not stop forgiving you; because God hasn\u2019t stopped forgiving your dad. Son, you can run as far as you want, but I will not stop chasing you; because God has not stopped pursuing and chasing me.\u201d Then I went on to tell him parts of my story\u2014of the way God had forgiven me this week\/the way God has pursued my heart this week\u2014and just make it come alive in a present-tense way to my kid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love being able to grow in community, and Jerrad has been one of those people for me that has been iron sharpening iron to me. We need relationships with other dads. Parents need relationships with other parents\u2014to learn from one another and, intentionally, grow to be a father that reflects the Father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; again, Jerrad, you\u2019re providing that for a lot of guys\u2014like David\u2014on your website. We have a link at FamilyLifeToday.com so guys can get connected with what you\u2019re doing. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Jerrrad\u2019s book, and about his blog, and about this community we\u2019ve been talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to ask you to pray this weekend for couples, who are going to be joining us in\u2014let me see\u2014one, two, three, four, five, seven cities: Cedar Rapids, Iowa; Chattanooga, Tennessee; Dallas, Texas; Destin, Florida; Estes Park; Monterrey Bay, in California; and in Pittsburgh. These couples are joining us for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways that we\u2019re hosting this weekend. I just want to ask you to pray for those couples, as they spend a weekend with us, focusing on their marriage and how they can strengthen it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, you make these kinds of weekends possible, along with this radio program, our website, the resources we create. All that we do at FamilyLife happens because listeners, like you, say, \u201cThis is important, and we want to see it continue\u2014want to see it expand and grow.\u201d So thank you for your partnership with us in this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation to support this ministry, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of a book that I wrote called <em>The Christian Husband<\/em>. It\u2019s about how men can be spiritual leaders in their marriage relationship. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go online and make a donation, today, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to donate at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend; and I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we\u2019re going to talk about your marriage and your money; because sometimes money and marriage can make a volatile mix. Art Rainer will join us to help us figure out how we can get our arms around some of the money challenges we face in marriage. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:13"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.84M"],"filesize_raw":["27093030"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305505.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305505.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Lopesrallies dads to be \"all in\" when it comes to spiritually engaging with their children. Lopes strives to be the spiritual leader in his home and wants his kids to see just how much he needs Jesus.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-11-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, November 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Part of spiritual leadership is modeling what confession and repentance look like. We have plenty of opportunities, as dads, to do that. We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Jerrad Lopes. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. You had a number of football coaches. Your first football coach\u2014were you in junior high when you played football for the first time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was ten years old, Bob; and I played for the Detroit Lions. It was called the Lions, and we had little Detroit Lions on our helmet. I was a little quarterback. They called me \u201cMouse\u201d; because my voice was so high. [High voice]: \u201cDave! Do 44!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I bring up the coaches, though\u2014because for you to be the caliber quarterback that you wound up being\u2014you played college ball; you\u2019re in the Hall of Fame at Ball State University; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, and those coaches, at every level, were my dads. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s where you were going, but they were the mentors and the men in my life\u2014because I didn\u2019t have a dad in the home\u2014that were the first men I looked at, like, \u201cThat\u2019s what a man is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of what I was thinking was\u2014for you to be a quality quarterback, you had to have somebody, who was correcting, who was shaping, who was pointing you. If you\u2019d just tried to do that on your own, with no coaching\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re a natural athlete, so you\u2019d have been okay; but you\u2019d have never been able to play college ball.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; my high school coach for all four years was a college quarterback, and he was intricate and trained me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The reason I mention it is because I think there are a lot of guys today, who are trying to be all-pro dads, and they had no coaching\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014just the little things that a dad knows, where he can correct what\u2019s going on with his son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what happens with us, as women and wives\u2014we think, \u201cOh, I can help you!\u201d [Laughter] But instead of coming alongside and encouraging, we\u2019re pointing out the flaws and saying, \u201cThis is what you should do,\u201d and that doesn\u2019t feel like life to a man. That\u2019s not motivating to a man or helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wouldn\u2019t it be great if there was a community of men, who could get together and talk about how to be a dad? Wouldn\u2019t that be something?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, as a matter of fact, as you know, there is one. Jerrad Lopes is joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Jerrad, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jerrad is the author of a book called <em>Dad Tired and Loving It.<\/em> He hosts a podcast called <em>Dad Tired<\/em>, and you do have an online community of\u2014it\u2019s about 8,000 guys in the Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> community?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes, a little over 8,000 guys in that Facebook community; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is guys getting together and saying: \u201cOkay; I need help,\u201d or \u201cI learned this the other day\u2026\u201d or \u201cYou guys should try this\u2026\u201d or \u201cRead this\u2026\u201d They\u2019re just iron sharpening iron with one another. They\u2019re doing some peer-to-peer coaching; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We talked about Dave, as a football player, and his need for a coach. Do you feel like you\u2019ve had a dad coach in your life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>There was actually a guy\u2014another pastor at a church that I worked at before\u2014I met him at the church before I had started to have kids. He was one of those guys, where I would watch and I saw his kids, who were in their teenage years. I\u2019m like, \u201cOh, man, this guy\u2014he has done something right,\u201d because I\u2019m really impressed with his marriage and really impressed with his kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe took me under his wing and discipled me. He would have me in his home\u2014I would watch the way that they would interact; I would watch the way he was talking to his kids; we\u2019d go on family vacations. That was the first time, really, that I feel like I\u2019d actually been discipled\u2014like life on life\u2014tons of hours of just watching him do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Can you think of the big takeaway from what you watched?\u2014 how he interacted\u00a0 with his kids; or things you saw, where you said, \u201cI have to do that when I have kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>The biggest takeaway that I can think of\u2014is there were two actual kind of pivotal moments that I remember. One is\u2014I had been stressing about work stuff. I was young and trying to figure out, \u201cWhat am I going to do with my life\/my career?\u201d\u2014just trying to sort all this stuff out. I was really stressed; and I asked him, \u201cCan we go to coffee and just process this together?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe listened to me very politely for however long I rambled. He just kind of sat back in his chair, and he smiled and he said: \u201cJerrad, knowing you, you\u2019re going to have a bunch of job titles before you die. You\u2019ll just do a bunch of stuff. Your business card will say a lot of different things. But the titles that will go with you to the grave are \u2018Husband,\u2019 \u2018Father,\u2019 and \u2018Disciple.\u2019 You will die a husband; you will die a father; and you will die a disciple of Jesus.\u201d He said, \u201cGo home and crush it at those things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was like, \u201cOh; okay.\u201d I respect this guy <em>so much<\/em>, and this is what he says is most valuable. I was like\u2014that just relieved me of a ton of stuff. All the other stuff comes and go\u2014jobs come and go\u2014but I just really want to do really well at those three things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think a lot of guys step into life with that pressure, that: \u201cIf I\u2019m going to be the man I\u2019m supposed to be, I have to win in the marketplace,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019ll be able to take care of marriage and family on the backstroke, but I have to really invest in the marketplace.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk with guys about this a lot. Even guys, who are taking their kids to the park and showing up for their Little League\u2014they\u2019re still showing up for the Little League games, but they\u2019re doing emails in the bleachers; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Right; yes. That story made me think of the word picture I\u2019ve heard somewhere\u2014I can\u2019t remember where I heard it, but it\u2019s really popular\u2014that you spend your whole life climbing up the ladder and then you realize you\u2019re on the wrong building. That\u2019s where I don\u2019t want to be\u2014is climbing up something and, by the end of my life, realize, \u201cOh, I\u2019m on the wrong building here!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You talk about that with the jersey, in your book, about running to the wrong end zone. Tell that story, because it\u2019s pretty funny; but it makes this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; I had been a soccer player in high school\u2014that was kind of my sport of choice. There was one day in high school\u2014I was a freshman boy in high school\u2014and I remember it was a Friday. All the football players wore their jersey on game day to get the whole school pumped up for the game that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember I was at my locker; and this guy walked in\/football player\u2014senior in high school walked in\u2014he looked like a celebrity, in my mind, and apparently to everyone else; because all these girls turned and looked at him, just like\u2014again, like a celebrity had walked in the room. I remember, as a 15-year-old boy, thinking: \u201cHow do I get that?! How can I be like that guy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first thought was, \u201cI need a football jersey.\u201d I was at soccer practice that day, and I just ran over to the football team. I just asked the coach, \u201cHey, do you need a kicker?\u201d He said, \u201cSure.\u201d The football team did great. I had my football jersey; I wore that thing four out of the five days of the week; you know? But there was one day, towards the end of the season, where we were just crushing another team. I think the coach\u2014what he was trying to do was just get players, who didn\u2019t get a lot of playing time, some playing time\u2014so he says, \u201cLopes, you\u2019re in!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m like: \u201cWhat? We didn\u2019t score! Why am I in?\u201d He says, \u201cLopes!\u201d He gets real mad, like football coaches do: \u201cLopes, you\u2019re in! Get in there!\u201d I run in there; we get in the huddle. The quarterback says a mixture of words I\u2019ve never heard before\u2014[Laughter]\u2014you know, colors, and numbers, and states. I\u2019m like, \u201cI have <em>no idea<\/em> what we\u2019re talking about here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, all the players, at the same time, clap their hands together and run away, which I didn\u2019t know was part of the plan. I\u2019m left standing there, like, \u201cWhat in the world is going on?\u201d I turned to the quarterback and I said, \u201cMan, what\u2019s happening?\u201d He says, \u201cBall\u2019s coming to you, Lopes.\u201d I stand at the line of scrimmage, and he hikes the ball. We make eye contact; and I\u2019m shaking my head, like, \u201cDo not throw that ball to me, man.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe throws me the ball, and I catch it. I turn around, and there\u2019s two seven-foot defenders ready to kill me. I\u2019m in my little kicker pads and my little gear. I\u2019m like, \u201cAbsolutely not; we\u2019re not doing this.\u201d My first thought\u2014again, as a little freshman\u2014was, \u201cI\u2019m just going to run back and give him the ball back, and we\u2019ll start this whole thing over again. Obviously, he didn\u2019t understand what I was saying\u2014that I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u201d [Laughter] Short story long, I ended up losing about 65 yards on the play, before my own team tackled me before I got in the wrong end zone. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy point there is: \u201cReally, what end zone are we actually trying to run towards?\u201d The other point is: \u201cDo you just want to be on the Jesus team, because it comes with a jersey; or are you willing to actually put in the work and figure out what it means to be on the team?\u201d I just wanted a jersey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jerrad, talk to the guy, who is saying: \u201cLook, if I am going to be successful\u2014I mean, keep paying the bills and doing the stuff\u2014I mean, we wanted to put the kids in private school, so I\u2019m working hard to try to make that happen,\u201d or just \u201cWe\u2019re trying to pay off this\u2026\u201d\u2014or whatever it is\u2014and he goes: \u201cThis is what it takes. If I don\u2019t dig in like this and work this hard, our family\u2019s not going to make it. I hear what you\u2019re saying about being there\u2014Little League and all that\u2014but we have to do this to survive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>There are a couple things that I think are happening there. The first one is\u2014I just can\u2019t imagine\u2014and I may be wrong; I\u2019m a young dad\u2014but I can\u2019t imagine I\u2019m going to be an old man and my kids will say, \u201cMan, Dad, I wish you would have just gotten us a little bit more money.\u201d I could imagine them saying, \u201cI wish you would have been around a little bit more, and you would have been a little bit more engaged.\u201d That\u2019s kind of what I\u2019m banking on; that\u2019s why I\u2019m investing so much time with my kids, and helping them become followers of Jesus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing is\u2014I think what\u2019s actually happening, on a deeper level: if those guys, who would say that, are honest\u2014I think what they\u2019re actually feeling is: \u201cI don\u2019t really know what I\u2019m doing as the spiritual leader of my house, but I do know what I\u2019m doing at work,\u201d so I can kind of use the excuse as, \u201cI\u2019m the provider, and I\u2019ll just work super hard; and I\u2019ll send emails late at night, and I\u2019ll just work, work, work; and I\u2019ll put in 50, 60, 70 hours a week.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think, if those guys were honest, they would just be like: \u201cI just want to do what I\u2019m good at,\u201d and \u201cI feel good at work, and I don\u2019t really feel that good as the spiritual leader of my home; so being the \u2018provider\u2019 is a good excuse for me to work harder and too much.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And yet, we\u2019re seeing a generation\/your generation\u2014at least, I think I\u2019m seeing\u2014they <em>are<\/em> engaged. Somehow, they\u2019re doing a pretty good job of what they need to do at work, and they are providing\u2014and again, not 100 percent, obviously; but I\u2019m watching my three sons\/I\u2019m watching other young men\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cWow!\u201d My own wife has even said, \u201cYou were <em>never<\/em> that involved, as a dad, as they are.\u201d What do you think is going on with these guys?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think there needs to be a push for dads to be engaged with their kids. Of course, there are exceptions to that; we always need dads to be engaged with kids. But I think you\u2019re right\u2014that my generation is really, really engaged. They\u2019re at the parks; they\u2019re at the games; they\u2019re even coaching games. I look around at my peers; and there are some really, really engaged dads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe missing link is: \u201cHow do you turn that into being the spiritual leader of your home and pointing your family towards Jesus?\u201d That\u2019s where guys are like: \u201cI actually have no idea. I have no idea how to do that. I can show up to their games; I can coach their games; and I can wrestle around; I can give them baths; change diapers; get up at night and give bottles\u2014or whatever\u2014but when it comes to pointing them towards Jesus, no clue what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would say part of what leads to the shift, where a guy goes, \u201cOkay; I can do this,\u201d\u2014part of it is an understanding of the gospel beyond\u2014\u201cThis is the message about Jesus that we believe that brings us to salvation.\u201d It\u2019s an understanding of the gospel that: \u201cThis is the message that fuels our life, day in and day out, even as followers of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tExplain so a listener, who\u2019s going, \u201cI think about the gospel as that evangelistic appeal that we give to people; and they hear it and they believe it; and then they move on to the other things of life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Right; \u201cSay a prayer, and then I kind of wait to die and go to heaven one day.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen, a lot of the stuff that you hear, even sometimes in the church community\/in the Christian community, could be said at an atheist conference, because it\u2019s just \u201cmorally good\u201d stuff. One example of that would be, you know: \u201cYou should apologize often to your kids, because it teaches humility. It\u2019s good for you to be humble; you want your kids to learn to be humble.\u201d Well, of course; everyone agrees with that\u2014Christian\/non-Christian\u2014everyone agrees it\u2019s good to apologize to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe way that you take something like that and you make it a gospel-centered thing\u2014instead of just a good, moral principle is\u2014what I want to do is: I want to apologize to my kids, and I want to apologize to them often; because I want my kids to see that Daddy desperately needs Jesus to change parts of his broken heart. That\u2019s why I apologize\u2014not because I\u2019m just trying to be a humble, good, moral dad\u2014but I want them to see, \u201cDaddy\u2019s not the hero of our family. He\u2019s not the hero of the story.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I sit down with my little girl, and I hold her hands and I say: \u201cDaddy has sinned, and I should not have yelled at you like that. I\u2019m sorry, and I need Jesus to fix this broken area of my heart. I\u2019ve asked God for forgiveness, and now I\u2019m asking you for forgiveness. Will you forgive me?\u201d What I\u2019m doing is\u2014I\u2019m modeling for her: \u201cOh, even Daddy needs salvation. Even Daddy needs for somebody to rescue him.\u201d Eventually, one day, I\u2019ll say, \u201cHey, baby girl, you also have sin in your heart; and Jesus needs to rescue you, too.\u201d And that will make sense for her, because she\u2019s seen Daddy apologize over and over and over again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When we were putting together the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> video series\u2014I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve had a chance to see it or not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s great stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014I remember one of the contributors, Jessica Thompson, who said, \u201cIn our house, it\u2019s kind of on repeat around here to say, \u2018I\u2019m a sinner, just like you.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHonestly, I thought, when we were raising our kids, that what they needed from me was the kind of rock-solid example of righteousness; so that they would see that modeled and they would go, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m supposed to be.\u201d So I thought, \u201cI need to keep hidden\u2026\u201d; but what my kids needed to see was the brokenness in my own life, and my own repentance, and my own need for Jesus; because otherwise, here\u2019s what the kids are thinking\u2014they\u2019re thinking: \u201cI can never be as good as Dad. He, apparently, doesn\u2019t stumble; but I do.\u201d They\u2019ll just start to go the other direction and go, \u201cWell, I can\u2019t be that. I\u2019d better be something else\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yet, on the other side\u2014tell me if I\u2019m accurate here\u2014it\u2019s like they need to see both\u2014the brokenness, the sinfulness of a parent or a human being; and yet, at the same time, victory and power of the Holy Spirit of God\/Jesus\u2019 presence in our life. Both are real. You don\u2019t hide the sin\u2014it\u2019s there, and you confess it, and you apologize\u2014but you also want your children to go: \u201cYes; but Dad has\u2026\u201d \u201cMom has\u2014there\u2019s a power that I want that isn\u2019t them, and I <em>know<\/em> it\u2019s Jesus. I <em>know<\/em> it\u2019s Him!\u201d That\u2019s what\u2014It\u2019s both; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>Yes; well, the subtitle of the book is <em>Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership<\/em>. So we\u2019re stumbling, and that\u2019s kind of that: \u201cI\u2019m going to admit that I\u2019m broken, and I don\u2019t have it all figured out,\u201d but we\u2019re also moving somewhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>That\u2019s also saying, \u201cDaddy needs Jesus to change these broken areas of my heart,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the bad news\u2014but it\u2019s also the good news: \u201cJesus will change the broken areas of your heart, and He will make us righteous because of His righteousness in us\u201d; you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the things people in our church have heard me say, over and over again, is that: \u201cWe begin a relationship with Jesus through repenting and believing the gospel; and then we sustain a relationship with Jesus through repenting and re-believing the gospel over and over again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is the perpetual act of recognizing: \u201cOh, I blew it,\u201d and then recognizing, \u201cAnd there\u2019s a Savior, who loves me, who provides forgiveness, and grace, and transformation.\u201d I keep coming back to those words: \u201cforgiveness,\u201d \u201ctransformation,\u201d and \u201chope,\u201d as kind of\u2014what the gospel says is: \u201cYour past is forgiven; your present is being changed; there\u2019s hope for your future.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you can think about: \u201cThis is what I\u2019m living in. I\u2019m living in the reality that, when I blow it today, there\u2019s forgiveness\u2014that God is at work, changing my heart for tomorrow; and then there\u2019s a hope for the future that will not disappoint.\u201d Living with that as the central, motivating factor of your life\u2014the central truth that you\u2019re building everything around\u2014that\u2019s revolutionary; and now that spills into every aspect of your marriage, your parenting, your work, your hobbies, everything; because that\u2019s what life\u2019s built around.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Jerrad, as I talk to so many women, they\u2019re longing for their husbands to encounter this relationship with Jesus\u2014to mentor their kids\/to disciple them. What\u2019s the best way for us, as women, to encourage our men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>About 60 percent of the people who follow along with <em>Dad Tired<\/em>\u2014whether that be social media or the podcast\u2014are women, which isn\u2019t surprising; because women are often the ones kind of taking the lead in the spiritual way for the families. So yes; I get this question all the time. There are lots of women, who say, \u201cPlease, what can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that I always tell women\u2014and I know this will feel like I\u2019m dodging the question\u2014but I just can\u2019t overemphasize a praying wife; because you, as a wife, do not hold the power to change your husband\u2019s heart. You don\u2019t have that. I don\u2019t care how amazing you are; you\u2019re not a good God. You will fail in that, and you need the One who can change hearts. You need to plead before Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always tell wives: \u201cTo not pray is to silently declare that you have more power over that situation than God does.\u201d It starts with praying to say\/to humble yourself enough to say: \u201cGod, I cannot change my husband\u2019s heart. I need You to do what I cannot do.\u201d I believe God will honor that, but here\u2019s the thing\u2014there are many women, who have been praying that for years and years and years, and their husbands just still aren\u2019t doing it. There\u2019s this verse in 1 Peter 3 that says, if your husband doesn\u2019t believe, that you would continue to live righteously so that he might come to the faith. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a wife, I think that\u2019s her hope\u2014is that: \u201cI\u2019m going to live in such a way that, even if my husband doesn\u2019t believe, that he might come to faith by seeing me follow and surrender to Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think for us, as women, we can ask God, \u201cGod, show me what my husband has that You\u2019ve put in him, and help me to draw that out.\u201d I didn\u2019t do that for years with Dave; but I know that God said to me, \u201cLook at him and see the greatness that I\u2019ve put in him as a spiritual leader.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think men feel inadequate in this area anyway; so when we\u2019re criticizing them, it just heaps on more guilt and shame. I think, for us, as women, we have so much influence\/we have so much power in our words, of asking God, \u201cGod, show me what You\u2019ve put in him that I can call out and draw out of him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I would just add\u2014I think, at some point, every man has to make a decision for himself to say: \u201cI\u2019m going to be that dad,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m going to be that husband, whether my wife encourages or discourages\/whether life is going my way or not.\u201d At some point\u2014I had to do it;\u00a0 I\u2019m sure Bob had to do it; Jerrad, you\u2019ve done it at some point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m speaking to a man right now and saying: \u201cIs today the day? Are you going to keep living the way you\u2019ve been?\u2014and just, maybe, even a victim\u2014like almost like, \u201cAre you going to be too tired to do anything?\u2014dad tired?\u2014or are you going to say, \u2018Dad tired is a normal state of life\u2019?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are tired; but at some point, we have to say: \u201cToday\u2019s the day. I want to become the husband God wants me to be\/the dad God wants me to be. I\u2019m going to surround myself with other men; I\u2019m going to jump in this community; and I\u2019m going to win this thing; I\u2019m going to change my legacy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and \u201cI\u2019m going to get the help I need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019m not going to try to gut it out, because a lot of guys are going, \u2018I don\u2019t know where to begin.\u2019\u201d Okay; so get some help\u2014get a copy of Jerrad\u2019s book, connect with the Facebook community, read his blog, listen to his podcast. We have information about all of these resources on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJerrad, thanks for taking time to be with us and being a part of the conversation this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerrad: <\/strong>So grateful to be here. Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Jerrad\u2019s book and about his blog. The book is called <em>Dad Tired and Loving It: Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership<\/em>. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve mentioned this to you, Jerrad, but the first place I ever heard of you, Jerrad, was when David Robbins, who\u2019s with us in the studio\u2014David mentioned you to me and said, \u201cWe ought to get Jerrad on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d You\u2019ve been a fan for awhile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I have, and I so appreciate our relationship. I mean, he has really stretched me; and I learn from Jerrad. We really enjoy our relationship together. In fact, I remember one of the first times we had a conversation. You gave me a template in talking to our kids and how to relate to them and reflecting Christ to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going home that week and applying it; it was so helpful! There was a discipline moment with one of my sons, and I was looking, eye to eye, with him; and I just remember the power of the moment. I started welling up, telling him, \u201cBuddy, I will not stop forgiving you; because God hasn\u2019t stopped forgiving your dad. Son, you can run as far as you want, but I will not stop chasing you; because God has not stopped pursuing and chasing me.\u201d Then I went on to tell him parts of my story\u2014of the way God had forgiven me this week\/the way God has pursued my heart this week\u2014and just make it come alive in a present-tense way to my kid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love being able to grow in community, and Jerrad has been one of those people for me that has been iron sharpening iron to me. We need relationships with other dads. Parents need relationships with other parents\u2014to learn from one another and, intentionally, grow to be a father that reflects the Father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; again, Jerrad, you\u2019re providing that for a lot of guys\u2014like David\u2014on your website. We have a link at FamilyLifeToday.com so guys can get connected with what you\u2019re doing. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Jerrrad\u2019s book, and about his blog, and about this community we\u2019ve been talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to ask you to pray this weekend for couples, who are going to be joining us in\u2014let me see\u2014one, two, three, four, five, seven cities: Cedar Rapids, Iowa; Chattanooga, Tennessee; Dallas, Texas; Destin, Florida; Estes Park; Monterrey Bay, in California; and in Pittsburgh. These couples are joining us for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways that we\u2019re hosting this weekend. I just want to ask you to pray for those couples, as they spend a weekend with us, focusing on their marriage and how they can strengthen it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who support the ministry of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, you make these kinds of weekends possible, along with this radio program, our website, the resources we create. All that we do at FamilyLife happens because listeners, like you, say, \u201cThis is important, and we want to see it continue\u2014want to see it expand and grow.\u201d So thank you for your partnership with us in this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation to support this ministry, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of a book that I wrote called <em>The Christian Husband<\/em>. It\u2019s about how men can be spiritual leaders in their marriage relationship. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go online and make a donation, today, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or when you call to donate at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend; and I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we\u2019re going to talk about your marriage and your money; because sometimes money and marriage can make a volatile mix. Art Rainer will join us to help us figure out how we can get our arms around some of the money challenges we face in marriage. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Have a great weekend. We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305505"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305505"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305505"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305505"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}