{"id":305479,"date":"2019-10-31T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-10-31T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-intentional-mom\/"},"modified":"2019-10-31T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-10-31T10:00:05","slug":"the-intentional-mom","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-intentional-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"The Intentional Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kara-Kae James, a mother of four, knows what it feels like to be in the throes of motherhood and barely holding on. James offers words of wisdom and tells young moms how they can live above the chaos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-31.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:15","filesize":"24.03M","filesize_raw":"25197596","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2853,2838,2881],"tags":[5048],"podcast_series":[8313],"cwp_profile":[9577],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305479","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-frazzled-family","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-motherhood","podcast_series-mom-up","cwp_profile-kara-kae-james","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305479\/the-intentional-mom","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305479\/the-intentional-mom","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ucxvWHRF8N\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-intentional-mom\/\">The Intentional Mom<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-intentional-mom\/embed\/#?secret=ucxvWHRF8N\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Intentional Mom&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ucxvWHRF8N\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-31.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-31.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Being a mom can feel overwhelming; you\u2019re facing a mountain of tasks. But Kara-Kae James says, beyond the tasks, there\u2019s something more important\u2014that\u2019s building a relationship with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I want to connect with my kids on their level, with who they are as a human being. I had to see my kids as people\/as little humans and not as a box to check off on a list or as a job to get done. When I started actually seeing them and understanding them on a heart level, I was able to be more intentional with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 31<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. In the midst of all the other things you have to do, as a mom, do you have somewhere on your to-do list building a relationship with your kids? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Kara-Kae James. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you feel like there\u2019s a difference between the moms today, who are raising\u2014I\u2019m talking about the ones who have little ones at home, and they\u2019re with them pretty regularly. There\u2019s some group of moms that are thriving and going, \u201cThis is going good,\u201d and \u201cSure, it\u2019s hard and it\u2019s challenging,\u201d but at the end of the day they go, \u201cI think we\u2019re in a good place.\u201d There are other moms, who are going to bed, going, \u201cI just never want to wake up\u201d; right? Is it a temperamental difference between the two, or is there something the thriving moms are doing that the other moms aren\u2019t?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think there are so many variables in that situation. If you have a colicky baby, you can feel like a terrible mom and feel like, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me? What\u2019s wrong with my child?\u201d If you have a really easy baby that\u2019s sleeping through the night at four weeks, you think, \u201cI\u2019m an amazing mother! Look at what I\u2019ve done!\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s why it always helps to have more than one child, because then the truth comes out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It also helps to have a network of other moms who are in your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, that\u2019s one of the principles that we want to talk about. We have Kara-Kae James joining us this week on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Kara-Kae.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Thank you! Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Kara-Kae is a blogger, she writes the <em>Thrive Moms<\/em> blog and has written a book called <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. In your journey, as a mom of four, with your oldest nine\u2014you have nine, eight, seven, and then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>\u2014three!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014a three-year-old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>With your kids in that stage, there are some things you\u2019ve identified that you would say the moms, who have some wind in their sails\u2014and I hate to say the moms that are really nailing it; because every mom is like, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I\u2019m nailing it,\u201d\u2014but the mom, who goes, \u201cOkay, I think I\u2019m making progress. I have some wind in my sails,\u201d\u2014some things you\u2019d say, \u201cThey have these things in common\u2026\u201d What are some of those things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think a lot of it is a mindset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Because when you have a constant mindset of \u201cI\u2019m failing,\u201d or a negative\u2014just this inner dialogue of \u201cI\u2019m doing a bad job,\u201d or \u201cI did that wrong,\u201d\u2014or you just are constantly telling yourself that you are doing terrible things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I would say, Kara-Kae, that a lot of women live there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Would you agree with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I would agree so much. I feel this for myself. When I was able to train my mind to wake up every day and say, \u201cYou know what? I can wake up today and I can choose to walk in abundance as a mom,\u201d Jesus came and said, \u201cI came to give you abundance.\u201d He wants abundant life for us, and I felt like that was offered to me as a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like, if we can wake up every day and say, \u201cI choose this,\u201d then we\u2019re excited to get out of bed; because I\u2019ve had those seasons that I didn\u2019t want to get up; I didn\u2019t want to parent; I didn\u2019t even want to look at my kids. But if we can train our minds to get out of that slump of inner dialogue, that\u2019s so negative and beating ourselves up all the time, and just look to God every day and choose abundance, then we can\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Alright, you have to help me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How did you make that switch?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t easy, for sure; and it\u2019s not something that I am great at. It\u2019s not that I get up every day and it\u2019s easy, or I have it all figured out. It\u2019s just that I have walked through it for years, and I\u2019m not even close to being done yet; and I\u2019ve just chosen to take that road of abundance over surviving every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>The verse that comes to mind is John 10:10.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>A lot of times we\u2019ll quote the second part of it, where Jesus said, \u201cI came that you might have life and have it to the full,\u201d but the first part is just as important. I think, as a mom, we really understand this, when it says, \u201cThe thief\u201d\u2014or the enemy or Satan\u2014\u201ccomes to steal, kill, and destroy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>As a mom, I felt that; because I felt like I woke up in the morning, sometimes, with that battle in my mind, of thinking, \u201cMy life isn\u2019t as easy\u2026\u201d \u201cMy kids aren\u2019t as easy\u2026\u201d Then I would have this thought, \u201cAnd Dave\u2019s\u201d\u2014my husband\u2014\u201cDave\u2019s life is <em>way<\/em> easier than mine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Right; \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have his life?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly! It\u2019s easy to live in that instead of: \u201cToday, Jesus, You\u2019ve given me this day; You\u2019ve given me these kids. Help me; help me,\u201d [Laughter] \u201cand let me live it for You\/with You on purpose.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of that mindset shift happened when you embraced intentionality. Explain what intentional motherhood looks like versus just responding to life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>For me\u2014and I think intentionality can look different for every mom\u2014because I have four kids, so intentionality has to look different for me, because I want to connect with my kids on their level with who they are as a human being. I had to see my kids as people\/as little humans and not as a box to check off on a list or as a job to get done. When I started actually seeing them for who they are as people, and learning to connect with them for the things that they love, and understanding them on a heart level, I was able to be more intentional with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my kids <em>loves<\/em> to just go shopping, and she just wants to roam around the store\u2014not my favorite thing to do\u2014but she loves when I will just take her to the store so she can roam around and look at the earrings. She\u2019s very girly-girl; so doing those things, and me going alongside her and doing that, shows her that I\u2019m here, and I see her, and I want to be a part of the things that she enjoys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy three-year-old son\u2014he wants to sit on the floor and play with his Matchbox<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> cars, and that is his favorite thing; and he wants to play superheroes, and he is all about the Avengers; and he can name them all, as a three-year-old; so I play with him and all those things. That shows him that I love him, and that I see him, and that I know what matters to him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing able to really connect with my kids on things that are important to them can make them so much more special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are days when it feels like: \u201cThe goal for today is just survival\u201d; and I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some days, if you have survived and everybody got fed and everybody gets to bed at a decent hour, it\u2019s like, \u201cThat was a good day\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if that\u2019s every day, then now you\u2019ve missed the bigger picture, which is we\u2019re not just here to help our kids survive. We\u2019re here to help them develop; we\u2019re here to help them mature; we\u2019re here to help them grow. I go back to Luke 2:52. It\u2019s really the verse that we have that summarizes 12 years of Jesus\u2019 life, because we see him at age 12 in the temple, and then we see him as he starts his ministry at around age 30. Luke 2:52 says, \u201cAnd Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, your kids are going to grow in stature, whether you do anything to help them or not; they\u2019re going to get bigger! But wisdom, favor with God, favor with man\u2014you can help; purposefully say: \u201cWe\u2019re not just going to try to survive and hope you grow an inch today. We\u2019re going to help you learn how to grow in wisdom, how to grow in favor with others, how to grow in favor with God,\u201d and have the mindset that says, \u201cI have a job to do today; and that is, to help advance this process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn those days\u2014again, I want to go back\u2014those days when you go, \u201cAll we could do is survive,\u201d that\u2019s okay. It\u2019s not like every day you have to have this checklist you have to do; but I do think that moms can have intentionality about, \u201cI have some goals of what I want to try to accomplish with my kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think it\u2019s good for us, as moms, too; because I struggled with this myself. I was in this comparison world of thinking: \u201cOh, look at that mom. She\u2019s so gentle and quiet, and they read books all day,\u201d and \u201cOh, look at this mom\u2026\u201d; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this older mom coming up to me and saying, \u201cStop looking to everyone else, because God made you a unique and certain way; and He wants <em>you<\/em>\u2014<em>you<\/em> to parent your kids.\u201d That was a revolutionary time in my life, of thinking, \u201cWho am I?\u201d Instead of comparing myself, I thought: \u201cWhat are my passions? Who am I?\u201d and \u201cWhat do I want to produce in these children?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized: \u201cI\u2019m a mom of adventure,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a mom that\u2019s crazy,\u201d \u201cI want to do these fun, crazy things.\u201d So I would take my kids\u2019 identity\/who they are, and I would kind of combine it with who I am in order to produce; because God put them under my roof so He has a plan for all of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought that was interesting for me, because I don\u2019t think women always do that; because especially today, with women comparing themselves, now, in another whole realm of social media: \u201cWho are you?\u201d I feel like you\u2019ve done that. You\u2019ve discovered: \u201cThis is who I am, and this is who my kids are\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would you hope moms would do in this phase, as Bob\u2019s talking about being intentional: \u201cHow can they be intentional?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, I think it\u2019s really important. The first thing I encourage moms to do with being intentional is figuring out who you are\u2014who God says you are, first of all\u2014because that is <em>number one<\/em>. I encourage moms to figure out what your personality type is; \u201cWhat are the things that you enjoy?\u201d \u201cWhat do you love to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe put so much into our kids; everything we do revolves around our kids. We forget that\u2014you know, we were just talking about how our kids are humans\u2014we\u2019re human beings, too; and we don\u2019t take care of ourselves, and we don\u2019t do anything to pour back into ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what you said about bringing your kids into that, too. That\u2019s something I love doing, because I\u2019ve brought my kids along in the journey of what my passions are in the last couple of years. I have always loved reading and writing; it\u2019s been the passion of my life. So in the last couple of years, I\u2019ve started bringing my kids into that. When my book came out this past year, my kids were my biggest cheerleaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was <em>so<\/em> incredible to watch them, especially my middle girl. She\u2019s such a cheerleader for people, and she has a very challenging personality; she\u2019s very stubborn. I always say she\u2019s very much like her dad [Laughter], but I always say she is going to do <em>huge<\/em> things some day because she will not budge; she\u2019s so stubborn. But she is your biggest fan, and I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would ask me before the book came out, \u201cMom, how many days till the book comes out?\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re getting closer; we\u2019re getting closer.\u201d She tells everybody about it; and then the day the book came out, it was just a party; and she was my biggest cheerleader. She\u2019s telling everybody. She\u2019s telling all her teachers at school, and she\u2019s trying to take copies to school to the teachers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I love that\u2014that I was able to bring them into the process, because kids don\u2019t really understand writing a book and publishing\u2014you know, they don\u2019t really understand what that world looks like. But I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to bring them into this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI journal with my kids, back and forth, to bring them into writing; because it\u2019s something that I love. I\u2019ve been able to show them what my passions are, and that has been <em>huge<\/em> for our relationship\u2014to be able to connect the things that I love with them and really show them that I\u2019m not just the mom: \u201cI\u2019m not just the person that makes your meals, and takes you to school, and washes your clothes. I have passions; I have things that I love and things that I care about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And you\u2019re a stay-at-home mom and yet you\u2019re still using your gifts and your passions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Another part that I read about the intentionality, which was so beautiful\u2014you have the understanding of my identity, \u201cWho am I as a mom?\u201d Same thing for us, as dads\u2014for Bob and me\u2014really no different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right; \u201cWho does God say I am as His child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> part of it; and then you add this other side that I didn\u2019t see coming, which was unpacking the bags, which is trying to identify: \u201cWhat are the negative things?\u201d You said, \u201cI\u2019ve started to see the worst version of myself in my children, and it makes you go, \u2018Whoa!\u2019\u201d Talk about that a little bit. How does a mom be intentional about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think a lot of times women\u2014and dads, too\u2014we will bring this baggage into\u2014whether it\u2019s our marriages or our parenting. I didn\u2019t really notice mine until I had kids. I had brought all this baggage in, because I wanted to mold my kids to be what I wanted them to be. I realized that I was such a perfectionist and I was so worried about them being what I wanted them to be that I had all this baggage that was piling up. I needed to kind of unpack this baggage before I let that overtake my relationship with my kids, because I noticed that one of my daughters was acting like me in that aspect of\u2014she was struggling so much with perfectionism, and she was five at this point. It was really burdening me that she was struggling so much with this, so I talked to some other moms about this and what that looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was one story that really stood out to me that was a mom that had older kids. They were\u2014her oldest was about to graduate from high school; and she [mom], through her whole life, had had all this baggage. She\u2019d put all these expectations on her kids\u2014just unattainable expectations\u2014and expected them to do so many things that it was tearing down the relationship between her and her kids\/her and her spouse. The kids never felt like they could measure up to be what she expected them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe didn\u2019t see it until it was almost too late. She finally realized, \u201cI have to do something here.\u201d She realized all this baggage that she had of bringing these unrealistic expectations and putting those on her kids. She apologized to them, asked for their forgiveness, and was able to restore relationships with them. That story was so impactful for me. I\u2019m so grateful that she was able to walk into that new phase of life with them, of them becoming adults and restoring some friendships and relationships with her children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt helped <em>me<\/em> see that I needed to start, now, of unpacking some of my baggage and the burdens that I put on my children; because I could see myself putting some of these expectations on my kids. I didn\u2019t want to start putting those on my kids when they were in kindergarten and expecting them to have everything done perfectly and everything done to <em>my<\/em> level. My husband will tell me a lot, \u201cNow, did they clean their room to Mom\u2019s level or to their level?\u201d [Laughter] because they always know that Mom\u2019s level is a little different than their level of clean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know\u2014as we think about baggage, and we think about the past experiences that have shaped our lives\u2014I\u2019m remembering a conversation we had a number of years ago with a guy that, Dave\u2014you and Ann will recognize his name\u2014Josh McDowell. I don\u2019t know if you know that name, but Josh is an author and apologist. He was working on a book at one point, and he was wrestling with the fact that he grew up in a very dysfunctional family situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad was an alcoholic; his mother was very overweight, embarrassingly so. Josh said, \u201cI didn\u2019t want her to show up places, because I didn\u2019t want people to see my mom.\u201d He said one time he knew where his dad hid his liquor bottle, and Josh went and urinated in the liquor bottle. So this was the family structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was wrestling as he was writing this book\u2014this is as an adult\u2014he\u2019s wrestling with some of these past experiences and going, \u201cThis was horrible\u2014what I had to grow up with.\u201d He said it was like God tapped him on the shoulder and said, \u201cJosh, do you like who you are today?\u201d Josh was like, \u201cWell, you know, yes. I mean, I like the way life has turned out for me, I\u2019m happy with my life. There are still issues; but yes. I\u2019m content with how life has come for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod said, \u201cSo, do you know that it took this path to get you to where you are?\u201d He said, \u201cI was able to look back on these things, and not say they were right, but look back and say, in the midst of it, God took what the enemy meant for evil and used it for good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think when we look back into our past, we can have a tendency to become angry, or have a tendency to become bitter, or for our hearts to be hardened toward people or events. Yet I think we have to have a perspective, where we look at these things and we say: \u201cYou know, this is how God has been molding and shaping me. Thank You, Lord, for taking me through hard times to make me more into the image of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember the first time I read Tim Keller\u2019s book, <em>The Meaning of Marriage<\/em>. In the book, he talks about marriage being like a bridge. He said cars would go over that bridge every day; but then you take a ten-ton truck and put it on that bridge, and all these cracks are exposed. He said that\u2019s what marriage does\u2014the pressure of marriage or the pressure of kids just exposes the weakness in the structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember putting that book down\u2014because for <em>years<\/em>, I had said, when our kids were little, \u201cLook what our kids are doing to me! They\u2019re making me crazy,\u201d when, in fact, God was saying, \u201cI\u2019m just exposing some of the things I\u2019d like to work on; I\u2019d like to have you work on with Me.\u201d That was an eye-opening fact, like, \u201cOh, it\u2019s me,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s always been there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the beauty of having kids; it\u2019s the beauty of marriage\u2014of God saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to work on this with you. I\u2019m going to be right beside you, and I\u2019ll help you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. The thing I would add is\u2014and this is not popular\u2014and I don\u2019t even want to say it out loud, because I don\u2019t actually want to do this; but I know I must, and we all must\u2014is I don\u2019t want to miss those moments of pain. I don\u2019t want to avoid them; I don\u2019t want to pray, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t want pain in my life,\u201d even though I want to pray that and I do pray that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes and when there\u2019s adversity, I want to get everything out of it; because I\u2019m looking at two moms that have gone through it, and you\u2019re better because of it. And your kids are better because of it. God didn\u2019t let you avoid it; He actually gave you maturity <em>through<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are listeners, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t want pain; I don\u2019t want anything to do with it.\u201d I think our perspective needs to step back and go, \u201cOkay; there is a God right in the middle of this pain and this valley with me, and I want to get everything out of this pain that He wants me to get. I don\u2019t want to be bitter; I want to be better, so I\u2019m going to go through it with Him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you look back on your baggage that God\u2019s had you unpacking in the midst of this, are you grateful for the adversity?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. Walking through hard seasons, especially in motherhood\u2014walking through post-partum anxiety\/depression\u2014through those hard seasons, I think everyone can agree those difficult seasons were the seasons that I felt the closest to the Lord; those were the seasons that I grew deeper, that I learned the most, and that I grew the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re never fun. There\u2019s a quote that says, \u201cNew life grows in the dark.\u201d I always love that; because sometimes we have to walk through the darkness to grow, and I would never change it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I hope that your encouragement for moms to seize the day, to be intentional, to be focused\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014to mom up? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, to do more than just survive it; but to say, \u201cLet\u2019s have some focus and some intentionality here, and let\u2019s recognize we\u2019re about something pretty big as we invest in the next generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Kara-Kae, thank you for your honesty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Thank you for sharing your journey, because I think it helps to set people free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We have copies of Kara-Kae\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. It\u2019s called <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. If you know somebody who just had a baby, this would be a great book to give them as a baby gift. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and you can order the book from us online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. The website, again, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order the book, <em>Mom Up<\/em>, at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins is in the studio with us; and you\u2019re not a mom, but you\u2019re married to one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>A good one, indeed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is something that you have to remind Meg of regularly\u2014the value of what she\u2019s doing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. I mean, especially as we had a gap; and then we had a kid six years later, and she re-entered the whole process\u2014.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe verse that was coming to my mind, as I was listening in, was Ephesians 2:10: \u201cFor we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMoms can so often get caught in the crossfire of wondering if who they are and what they do is valuable. They have to sort out vocation and calling and all these things in different phases of life, but I know this certainly: only moms can be moms. It looks different ways, but that role is a calling that takes a backseat to none other in terms of significance and impact. Every mom is exerting a profound impact on the future by virtue of being a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, in our world, it can be so easy to forget that; but I want to remind every mom of this fact today, and thank you. Thank you for all you do and the unique ways you reflect Jesus to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just ask yourself this question today: \u201cIs what I\u2019m doing today going to matter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 years from now?\u201d If you\u2019re pouring into the lives of your kids, it\u2019s going to matter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 years from now. The business thing may not be as significant 50 years from now as how you poured into your kids. So keep that focus; keep those priorities straight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you, David.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear a conversation between Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge about the challenges that a stepmom can face if she\u2019s never been a mom before and, all of a sudden, she has stepkids. Laura talks about that tomorrow with Ron Deal. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:15"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.03M"],"filesize_raw":["25197596"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305479.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305479.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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James, a mother of four, knows what it feels like to be in the throes of motherhood and barely holding on. James offers words of wisdom and tells young moms how they can live above the chaos.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-31.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Being a mom can feel overwhelming; you\u2019re facing a mountain of tasks. But Kara-Kae James says, beyond the tasks, there\u2019s something more important\u2014that\u2019s building a relationship with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I want to connect with my kids on their level, with who they are as a human being. I had to see my kids as people\/as little humans and not as a box to check off on a list or as a job to get done. When I started actually seeing them and understanding them on a heart level, I was able to be more intentional with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 31<sup>st<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. In the midst of all the other things you have to do, as a mom, do you have somewhere on your to-do list building a relationship with your kids? We\u2019re going to talk more about that today with Kara-Kae James. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Do you feel like there\u2019s a difference between the moms today, who are raising\u2014I\u2019m talking about the ones who have little ones at home, and they\u2019re with them pretty regularly. There\u2019s some group of moms that are thriving and going, \u201cThis is going good,\u201d and \u201cSure, it\u2019s hard and it\u2019s challenging,\u201d but at the end of the day they go, \u201cI think we\u2019re in a good place.\u201d There are other moms, who are going to bed, going, \u201cI just never want to wake up\u201d; right? Is it a temperamental difference between the two, or is there something the thriving moms are doing that the other moms aren\u2019t?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think there are so many variables in that situation. If you have a colicky baby, you can feel like a terrible mom and feel like, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me? What\u2019s wrong with my child?\u201d If you have a really easy baby that\u2019s sleeping through the night at four weeks, you think, \u201cI\u2019m an amazing mother! Look at what I\u2019ve done!\u201d [Laughter] That\u2019s why it always helps to have more than one child, because then the truth comes out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It also helps to have a network of other moms who are in your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, that\u2019s one of the principles that we want to talk about. We have Kara-Kae James joining us this week on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, Kara-Kae.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Thank you! Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Kara-Kae is a blogger, she writes the <em>Thrive Moms<\/em> blog and has written a book called <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. In your journey, as a mom of four, with your oldest nine\u2014you have nine, eight, seven, and then\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>\u2014three!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014a three-year-old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>With your kids in that stage, there are some things you\u2019ve identified that you would say the moms, who have some wind in their sails\u2014and I hate to say the moms that are really nailing it; because every mom is like, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I\u2019m nailing it,\u201d\u2014but the mom, who goes, \u201cOkay, I think I\u2019m making progress. I have some wind in my sails,\u201d\u2014some things you\u2019d say, \u201cThey have these things in common\u2026\u201d What are some of those things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think a lot of it is a mindset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Because when you have a constant mindset of \u201cI\u2019m failing,\u201d or a negative\u2014just this inner dialogue of \u201cI\u2019m doing a bad job,\u201d or \u201cI did that wrong,\u201d\u2014or you just are constantly telling yourself that you are doing terrible things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I would say, Kara-Kae, that a lot of women live there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Would you agree with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I would agree so much. I feel this for myself. When I was able to train my mind to wake up every day and say, \u201cYou know what? I can wake up today and I can choose to walk in abundance as a mom,\u201d Jesus came and said, \u201cI came to give you abundance.\u201d He wants abundant life for us, and I felt like that was offered to me as a mom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like, if we can wake up every day and say, \u201cI choose this,\u201d then we\u2019re excited to get out of bed; because I\u2019ve had those seasons that I didn\u2019t want to get up; I didn\u2019t want to parent; I didn\u2019t even want to look at my kids. But if we can train our minds to get out of that slump of inner dialogue, that\u2019s so negative and beating ourselves up all the time, and just look to God every day and choose abundance, then we can\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Alright, you have to help me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How did you make that switch?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t easy, for sure; and it\u2019s not something that I am great at. It\u2019s not that I get up every day and it\u2019s easy, or I have it all figured out. It\u2019s just that I have walked through it for years, and I\u2019m not even close to being done yet; and I\u2019ve just chosen to take that road of abundance over surviving every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>The verse that comes to mind is John 10:10.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>A lot of times we\u2019ll quote the second part of it, where Jesus said, \u201cI came that you might have life and have it to the full,\u201d but the first part is just as important. I think, as a mom, we really understand this, when it says, \u201cThe thief\u201d\u2014or the enemy or Satan\u2014\u201ccomes to steal, kill, and destroy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>As a mom, I felt that; because I felt like I woke up in the morning, sometimes, with that battle in my mind, of thinking, \u201cMy life isn\u2019t as easy\u2026\u201d \u201cMy kids aren\u2019t as easy\u2026\u201d Then I would have this thought, \u201cAnd Dave\u2019s\u201d\u2014my husband\u2014\u201cDave\u2019s life is <em>way<\/em> easier than mine.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Right; \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have his life?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly! It\u2019s easy to live in that instead of: \u201cToday, Jesus, You\u2019ve given me this day; You\u2019ve given me these kids. Help me; help me,\u201d [Laughter] \u201cand let me live it for You\/with You on purpose.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of that mindset shift happened when you embraced intentionality. Explain what intentional motherhood looks like versus just responding to life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>For me\u2014and I think intentionality can look different for every mom\u2014because I have four kids, so intentionality has to look different for me, because I want to connect with my kids on their level with who they are as a human being. I had to see my kids as people\/as little humans and not as a box to check off on a list or as a job to get done. When I started actually seeing them for who they are as people, and learning to connect with them for the things that they love, and understanding them on a heart level, I was able to be more intentional with them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my kids <em>loves<\/em> to just go shopping, and she just wants to roam around the store\u2014not my favorite thing to do\u2014but she loves when I will just take her to the store so she can roam around and look at the earrings. She\u2019s very girly-girl; so doing those things, and me going alongside her and doing that, shows her that I\u2019m here, and I see her, and I want to be a part of the things that she enjoys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy three-year-old son\u2014he wants to sit on the floor and play with his Matchbox<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> cars, and that is his favorite thing; and he wants to play superheroes, and he is all about the Avengers; and he can name them all, as a three-year-old; so I play with him and all those things. That shows him that I love him, and that I see him, and that I know what matters to him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing able to really connect with my kids on things that are important to them can make them so much more special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There are days when it feels like: \u201cThe goal for today is just survival\u201d; and I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some days, if you have survived and everybody got fed and everybody gets to bed at a decent hour, it\u2019s like, \u201cThat was a good day\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But if that\u2019s every day, then now you\u2019ve missed the bigger picture, which is we\u2019re not just here to help our kids survive. We\u2019re here to help them develop; we\u2019re here to help them mature; we\u2019re here to help them grow. I go back to Luke 2:52. It\u2019s really the verse that we have that summarizes 12 years of Jesus\u2019 life, because we see him at age 12 in the temple, and then we see him as he starts his ministry at around age 30. Luke 2:52 says, \u201cAnd Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, your kids are going to grow in stature, whether you do anything to help them or not; they\u2019re going to get bigger! But wisdom, favor with God, favor with man\u2014you can help; purposefully say: \u201cWe\u2019re not just going to try to survive and hope you grow an inch today. We\u2019re going to help you learn how to grow in wisdom, how to grow in favor with others, how to grow in favor with God,\u201d and have the mindset that says, \u201cI have a job to do today; and that is, to help advance this process.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn those days\u2014again, I want to go back\u2014those days when you go, \u201cAll we could do is survive,\u201d that\u2019s okay. It\u2019s not like every day you have to have this checklist you have to do; but I do think that moms can have intentionality about, \u201cI have some goals of what I want to try to accomplish with my kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think it\u2019s good for us, as moms, too; because I struggled with this myself. I was in this comparison world of thinking: \u201cOh, look at that mom. She\u2019s so gentle and quiet, and they read books all day,\u201d and \u201cOh, look at this mom\u2026\u201d; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember this older mom coming up to me and saying, \u201cStop looking to everyone else, because God made you a unique and certain way; and He wants <em>you<\/em>\u2014<em>you<\/em> to parent your kids.\u201d That was a revolutionary time in my life, of thinking, \u201cWho am I?\u201d Instead of comparing myself, I thought: \u201cWhat are my passions? Who am I?\u201d and \u201cWhat do I want to produce in these children?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized: \u201cI\u2019m a mom of adventure,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m a mom that\u2019s crazy,\u201d \u201cI want to do these fun, crazy things.\u201d So I would take my kids\u2019 identity\/who they are, and I would kind of combine it with who I am in order to produce; because God put them under my roof so He has a plan for all of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought that was interesting for me, because I don\u2019t think women always do that; because especially today, with women comparing themselves, now, in another whole realm of social media: \u201cWho are you?\u201d I feel like you\u2019ve done that. You\u2019ve discovered: \u201cThis is who I am, and this is who my kids are\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat would you hope moms would do in this phase, as Bob\u2019s talking about being intentional: \u201cHow can they be intentional?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, I think it\u2019s really important. The first thing I encourage moms to do with being intentional is figuring out who you are\u2014who God says you are, first of all\u2014because that is <em>number one<\/em>. I encourage moms to figure out what your personality type is; \u201cWhat are the things that you enjoy?\u201d \u201cWhat do you love to do?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe put so much into our kids; everything we do revolves around our kids. We forget that\u2014you know, we were just talking about how our kids are humans\u2014we\u2019re human beings, too; and we don\u2019t take care of ourselves, and we don\u2019t do anything to pour back into ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love what you said about bringing your kids into that, too. That\u2019s something I love doing, because I\u2019ve brought my kids along in the journey of what my passions are in the last couple of years. I have always loved reading and writing; it\u2019s been the passion of my life. So in the last couple of years, I\u2019ve started bringing my kids into that. When my book came out this past year, my kids were my biggest cheerleaders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was <em>so<\/em> incredible to watch them, especially my middle girl. She\u2019s such a cheerleader for people, and she has a very challenging personality; she\u2019s very stubborn. I always say she\u2019s very much like her dad [Laughter], but I always say she is going to do <em>huge<\/em> things some day because she will not budge; she\u2019s so stubborn. But she is your biggest fan, and I love that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would ask me before the book came out, \u201cMom, how many days till the book comes out?\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re getting closer; we\u2019re getting closer.\u201d She tells everybody about it; and then the day the book came out, it was just a party; and she was my biggest cheerleader. She\u2019s telling everybody. She\u2019s telling all her teachers at school, and she\u2019s trying to take copies to school to the teachers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I love that\u2014that I was able to bring them into the process, because kids don\u2019t really understand writing a book and publishing\u2014you know, they don\u2019t really understand what that world looks like. But I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to bring them into this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI journal with my kids, back and forth, to bring them into writing; because it\u2019s something that I love. I\u2019ve been able to show them what my passions are, and that has been <em>huge<\/em> for our relationship\u2014to be able to connect the things that I love with them and really show them that I\u2019m not just the mom: \u201cI\u2019m not just the person that makes your meals, and takes you to school, and washes your clothes. I have passions; I have things that I love and things that I care about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And you\u2019re a stay-at-home mom and yet you\u2019re still using your gifts and your passions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Another part that I read about the intentionality, which was so beautiful\u2014you have the understanding of my identity, \u201cWho am I as a mom?\u201d Same thing for us, as dads\u2014for Bob and me\u2014really no different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right; \u201cWho does God say I am as His child?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> part of it; and then you add this other side that I didn\u2019t see coming, which was unpacking the bags, which is trying to identify: \u201cWhat are the negative things?\u201d You said, \u201cI\u2019ve started to see the worst version of myself in my children, and it makes you go, \u2018Whoa!\u2019\u201d Talk about that a little bit. How does a mom be intentional about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think a lot of times women\u2014and dads, too\u2014we will bring this baggage into\u2014whether it\u2019s our marriages or our parenting. I didn\u2019t really notice mine until I had kids. I had brought all this baggage in, because I wanted to mold my kids to be what I wanted them to be. I realized that I was such a perfectionist and I was so worried about them being what I wanted them to be that I had all this baggage that was piling up. I needed to kind of unpack this baggage before I let that overtake my relationship with my kids, because I noticed that one of my daughters was acting like me in that aspect of\u2014she was struggling so much with perfectionism, and she was five at this point. It was really burdening me that she was struggling so much with this, so I talked to some other moms about this and what that looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was one story that really stood out to me that was a mom that had older kids. They were\u2014her oldest was about to graduate from high school; and she [mom], through her whole life, had had all this baggage. She\u2019d put all these expectations on her kids\u2014just unattainable expectations\u2014and expected them to do so many things that it was tearing down the relationship between her and her kids\/her and her spouse. The kids never felt like they could measure up to be what she expected them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe didn\u2019t see it until it was almost too late. She finally realized, \u201cI have to do something here.\u201d She realized all this baggage that she had of bringing these unrealistic expectations and putting those on her kids. She apologized to them, asked for their forgiveness, and was able to restore relationships with them. That story was so impactful for me. I\u2019m so grateful that she was able to walk into that new phase of life with them, of them becoming adults and restoring some friendships and relationships with her children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt helped <em>me<\/em> see that I needed to start, now, of unpacking some of my baggage and the burdens that I put on my children; because I could see myself putting some of these expectations on my kids. I didn\u2019t want to start putting those on my kids when they were in kindergarten and expecting them to have everything done perfectly and everything done to <em>my<\/em> level. My husband will tell me a lot, \u201cNow, did they clean their room to Mom\u2019s level or to their level?\u201d [Laughter] because they always know that Mom\u2019s level is a little different than their level of clean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know\u2014as we think about baggage, and we think about the past experiences that have shaped our lives\u2014I\u2019m remembering a conversation we had a number of years ago with a guy that, Dave\u2014you and Ann will recognize his name\u2014Josh McDowell. I don\u2019t know if you know that name, but Josh is an author and apologist. He was working on a book at one point, and he was wrestling with the fact that he grew up in a very dysfunctional family situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis dad was an alcoholic; his mother was very overweight, embarrassingly so. Josh said, \u201cI didn\u2019t want her to show up places, because I didn\u2019t want people to see my mom.\u201d He said one time he knew where his dad hid his liquor bottle, and Josh went and urinated in the liquor bottle. So this was the family structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was wrestling as he was writing this book\u2014this is as an adult\u2014he\u2019s wrestling with some of these past experiences and going, \u201cThis was horrible\u2014what I had to grow up with.\u201d He said it was like God tapped him on the shoulder and said, \u201cJosh, do you like who you are today?\u201d Josh was like, \u201cWell, you know, yes. I mean, I like the way life has turned out for me, I\u2019m happy with my life. There are still issues; but yes. I\u2019m content with how life has come for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod said, \u201cSo, do you know that it took this path to get you to where you are?\u201d He said, \u201cI was able to look back on these things, and not say they were right, but look back and say, in the midst of it, God took what the enemy meant for evil and used it for good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think when we look back into our past, we can have a tendency to become angry, or have a tendency to become bitter, or for our hearts to be hardened toward people or events. Yet I think we have to have a perspective, where we look at these things and we say: \u201cYou know, this is how God has been molding and shaping me. Thank You, Lord, for taking me through hard times to make me more into the image of Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember the first time I read Tim Keller\u2019s book, <em>The Meaning of Marriage<\/em>. In the book, he talks about marriage being like a bridge. He said cars would go over that bridge every day; but then you take a ten-ton truck and put it on that bridge, and all these cracks are exposed. He said that\u2019s what marriage does\u2014the pressure of marriage or the pressure of kids just exposes the weakness in the structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember putting that book down\u2014because for <em>years<\/em>, I had said, when our kids were little, \u201cLook what our kids are doing to me! They\u2019re making me crazy,\u201d when, in fact, God was saying, \u201cI\u2019m just exposing some of the things I\u2019d like to work on; I\u2019d like to have you work on with Me.\u201d That was an eye-opening fact, like, \u201cOh, it\u2019s me,\u201d and \u201cIt\u2019s always been there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the beauty of having kids; it\u2019s the beauty of marriage\u2014of God saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to work on this with you. I\u2019m going to be right beside you, and I\u2019ll help you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes. The thing I would add is\u2014and this is not popular\u2014and I don\u2019t even want to say it out loud, because I don\u2019t actually want to do this; but I know I must, and we all must\u2014is I don\u2019t want to miss those moments of pain. I don\u2019t want to avoid them; I don\u2019t want to pray, \u201cGod, I don\u2019t want pain in my life,\u201d even though I want to pray that and I do pray that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes and when there\u2019s adversity, I want to get everything out of it; because I\u2019m looking at two moms that have gone through it, and you\u2019re better because of it. And your kids are better because of it. God didn\u2019t let you avoid it; He actually gave you maturity <em>through<\/em> it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are listeners, thinking, \u201cI don\u2019t want pain; I don\u2019t want anything to do with it.\u201d I think our perspective needs to step back and go, \u201cOkay; there is a God right in the middle of this pain and this valley with me, and I want to get everything out of this pain that He wants me to get. I don\u2019t want to be bitter; I want to be better, so I\u2019m going to go through it with Him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you look back on your baggage that God\u2019s had you unpacking in the midst of this, are you grateful for the adversity?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. Walking through hard seasons, especially in motherhood\u2014walking through post-partum anxiety\/depression\u2014through those hard seasons, I think everyone can agree those difficult seasons were the seasons that I felt the closest to the Lord; those were the seasons that I grew deeper, that I learned the most, and that I grew the most. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re never fun. There\u2019s a quote that says, \u201cNew life grows in the dark.\u201d I always love that; because sometimes we have to walk through the darkness to grow, and I would never change it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I hope that your encouragement for moms to seize the day, to be intentional, to be focused\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014to mom up? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, to do more than just survive it; but to say, \u201cLet\u2019s have some focus and some intentionality here, and let\u2019s recognize we\u2019re about something pretty big as we invest in the next generation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Kara-Kae, thank you for your honesty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Thank you for sharing your journey, because I think it helps to set people free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. We have copies of Kara-Kae\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. It\u2019s called <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. If you know somebody who just had a baby, this would be a great book to give them as a baby gift. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and you can order the book from us online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. The website, again, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order the book, <em>Mom Up<\/em>, at 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid Robbins is in the studio with us; and you\u2019re not a mom, but you\u2019re married to one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>A good one, indeed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is something that you have to remind Meg of regularly\u2014the value of what she\u2019s doing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>Yes. I mean, especially as we had a gap; and then we had a kid six years later, and she re-entered the whole process\u2014.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe verse that was coming to my mind, as I was listening in, was Ephesians 2:10: \u201cFor we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMoms can so often get caught in the crossfire of wondering if who they are and what they do is valuable. They have to sort out vocation and calling and all these things in different phases of life, but I know this certainly: only moms can be moms. It looks different ways, but that role is a calling that takes a backseat to none other in terms of significance and impact. Every mom is exerting a profound impact on the future by virtue of being a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, in our world, it can be so easy to forget that; but I want to remind every mom of this fact today, and thank you. Thank you for all you do and the unique ways you reflect Jesus to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just ask yourself this question today: \u201cIs what I\u2019m doing today going to matter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 years from now?\u201d If you\u2019re pouring into the lives of your kids, it\u2019s going to matter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 years from now. The business thing may not be as significant 50 years from now as how you poured into your kids. So keep that focus; keep those priorities straight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you, David.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear a conversation between Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge about the challenges that a stepmom can face if she\u2019s never been a mom before and, all of a sudden, she has stepkids. Laura talks about that tomorrow with Ron Deal. I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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