{"id":305475,"date":"2019-10-30T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-10-30T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-challenge-of-motherhood\/"},"modified":"2019-10-30T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-10-30T10:00:04","slug":"the-challenge-of-motherhood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenge-of-motherhood\/","title":{"rendered":"The Challenge of Motherhood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kara-Kae James thought that motherhood was a cinch. And then she had kids! James admits that motherhood made her emotionally and mentally tired, weary and burned out with postpartum depression.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-30.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:25","filesize":"25.1M","filesize_raw":"26315662","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2853,2838,2881],"tags":[5048],"podcast_series":[8313],"cwp_profile":[9577],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305475","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-frazzled-family","category-mothers","category-young-children","tag-motherhood","podcast_series-mom-up","cwp_profile-kara-kae-james","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305475\/the-challenge-of-motherhood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305475\/the-challenge-of-motherhood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KyLTkLIaGZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenge-of-motherhood\/\">The Challenge of Motherhood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenge-of-motherhood\/embed\/#?secret=KyLTkLIaGZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Challenge of Motherhood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KyLTkLIaGZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-30.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-30.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Have you ever felt like being a mom was nothing\/like it was inconsequential?\u2014like you weren\u2019t accomplishing much of anything? Have you ever felt overwhelmed in the process? Well, Kara-Kae James can relate. We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I want to know about your first months, as a mom. Was it heavenly mom bliss? I mean, I know you have to recover from delivering a baby and all of that, but were you just in mom heaven in the first months as a mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I felt like a semi-truck hit me; and I was laying on the ground, thinking, \u201cWhat has happened to my life?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Like for months you felt that way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>For months; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I felt pretty competent and secure in most areas of my life. I felt confident going into motherhood\u2014I\u2019d read books; I\u2019d been to Bible studies with other moms; and I thought, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to be great at this,\u201d\u2014not realizing this would be the <em>hardest<\/em> season of my life, when they were little.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you picked up the book, <em>Mom Up,<\/em> by our guest today, Kara-Kae James, you went, \u201cI can so relate to this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly! I thought, \u201cThank you for writing about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; Kara-Kae, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Thanks for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Kara-Kae and her husband Brook live in Wichita Falls, Texas. Kara-Kae is a blogger; in fact, a lot of our listeners may follow her on the <em>Thrive Moms<\/em> blog. The book, <em>Mom Up<\/em>, is about <em>Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Ann described, you were right there with her\u2014maybe even amped up a little bit from what she described\u2014right?\u2014because your first months of motherhood were <em>awful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>They were; they were awful first <em>years<\/em>! I would almost say, \u201cStill are many days.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you go into it with the idealized, \u201cI\u2019m going to be great at this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; yes! I have a perfectionist personality. Anything I go into, I\u2019m set out to do it right\/do it well. When I went into motherhood, I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this <em>really<\/em> well. I\u2019m going to be the best at this. I\u2019m going to do it great.\u201d I even struggled to read some of the parenting books, when I became a new mom\u2014even before I was a mom\u2014because I thought, \u201cThey don\u2019t know what they are talking about. I\u2019m going to figure this out on my own. I\u2019m going to do it right; I\u2019m going to this best.\u201d Then I had a baby that was not what I expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I love what you say\u2014you said, \u201cI was a great mom until I had kids!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Exactly! I could tell you how to do it! Now, when people ask me parenting advice, I say, \u201cOh, don\u2019t ask me; I don\u2019t have any idea what I\u2019m doing!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Actually, your pregnancy\/your first pregnancy was pretty rough; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, yes; my pregnancies were all very rough. I carried my first baby \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t42 weeks; and then she was born, and she had colic. It\u2019s like: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this baby?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d \u201cWhy am I not doing this right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Did you start doubting yourself?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely! I doubted that I was doing things right; I doubted <em>her<\/em>; I doubted my\/our capabilities, as a couple, that we were able to do this parenting thing. I quit my job and stayed home; but I was <em>miserable<\/em>\/completely miserable, because it wasn\u2019t anything like I imagined that it would be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>She\u2019s not sleeping at night<a id=\"_Hlk21449669\">\u2014<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, no! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014at all!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Now let me ask you this: \u201cIs the husband helping?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>He was great help! Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He was great, and still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>But he was still working, so he helped when he could. I had quit my job to stay home to take care of her\u2014to do the mom thing. That was a <em>really<\/em> hard transition for me, because I never imagined myself to be this stay-at-home mom person. I always thought, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to be this career-driven woman. I worked really hard; I have all these goals and ambitions for myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, all of a sudden, I have this new path for myself. Being a stay-at-home mom felt like a failure to me. It didn\u2019t feel like it was anything important; it didn\u2019t feel like a good job\/a good role. I didn\u2019t feel like I was doing anything to give back to society or to my family. That was a <em>huge<\/em> struggle for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to jump in on that, because this is a decision you guys made for you to be a stay-at-home mom. Going into being a stay-at-home, were you thinking, \u201cThis is the right thing to do,\u201d or were you thinking, \u201cI\u2019m settling for less than\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>A little bit of both, because of what my career was. I was an event planner; I worked so many hours. I knew that it wasn\u2019t really the right job that I could do for my family at that time because I wasn\u2019t able to see my daughter and my husband the way that I wanted to do. Either I would have to find a different job or I would have to\/we would have to make some major sacrifices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that many women don\u2019t have the capabilities of staying home. We decided, \u201cOkay, we are going to make some big sacrifices.\u201d My husband is a pastor, so it\u2019s not like we were rolling in millions of dollars that we could say, \u201cWe have plenty; we\u2019re fine.\u201d It was a really difficult decision to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this.\u201d We just felt it was the right thing, at that time, for me to have the time to spend with my daughter at that age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing I want to take apart a little bit. You felt it was the right thing; but\u00a0 then, in doing it, you\u2019re feeling like: \u201cI\u2019m settling for less than. I\u2019m not being the woman I should be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, a generation ago\u2014and maybe you can tell me, Ann\u2014I think, a generation ago, there were more young women, who grew up thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m a wife and a mom, that\u2019s a good thing. It\u2019s something where I\u2019m contributing,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m doing what\u2019s important, and this matters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think today, among your generation, there are many fewer young women who think to be a stay-at-home mom is a right and good thing and \u201cI\u2019m fulfilling a significant mandate if I\u2019m doing this.\u201d Has the voice of the culture so reached in that it said to young women, \u201cMotherhood is insignificant; and unless you\u2019re contributing in the marketplace, you\u2019re really not doing anything important\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think it has. I think a lot of women feel like being a mom is inconsequential. If you\u2019re not providing, somehow, to your family financially\/if you\u2019re not doing something to put back into the world in some way, we feel like we\u2019re not doing something. We don\u2019t see that what we\u2019re doing\u2014of raising our children\u2014to be something to put into the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do see that the culture has shifted in that way\u2014that we look at our role as a parent\u2014I think dads struggle with this, too; I don\u2019t think this is just a mom thing\u2014that we look at our roles in this world and we think, \u201cOh well,\u00a0 my career is really important,\u201d because whatever that job is that I\u2019m doing and, then, these other things fall under there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut raising our kids and teaching them about Jesus, and teaching them to grow to\u00a0 be responsible human beings that can give back to society, and that can grow to know God and love Him, very well can be the best thing and the greatest thing we ever do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yet, you didn\u2019t feel that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting here, looking at two different generations of moms. I know I can\u2019t speak for Ann, but I can remember what she told me\u2014same thing you\u2019re saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, you felt the same thing, even in a different generation. I remember you saying exactly what Kara-Kae said right now\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m doing <em>nothing<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; I did the same thing. I went from a thriving ministry to being at home. I felt like, \u201cI\u2019m doing <em>nothing<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cto contribute to the kingdom,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014even though I knew\/I knew\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m raising this disciple; I know this!\u201d Then I would go to the grocery store, exhausted, with no make-up, with my sweatpants on. The woman would grab me and say, \u201cOh honey, this is such a wonderful time of your life. It just flies by.\u201d I remember thinking, \u201cEvery day feels like a million years!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here you are\u2014you\u2019re struggling; you have this baby at home; and then, you get pregnant again\u2014a couple times!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>\u2014a couple times!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>As Dave said, you had three kids, three and under. What was going on then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>We decided: \u201cWe wanted to have more kids. Let\u2019s get this over with,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014the pregnancies were <em>challenging<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t necessarily getting <em>better<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No, it wasn\u2019t getting better. We just said, \u201cOkay, lets do it! Let\u2019s get it over with; maybe it\u2019ll get better.\u201d We had three under three. My oldest was still two when my youngest of the three was born; so I had a newborn, a one-year-old, and a two-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that year\u2014I joke now, but I always say I don\u2019t remember anything about the first year of her life\u2014but in so many ways it is true; because I was so tired, mentally\/emotionally. I was so disconnected, and so tired, and weary, and burned out, that I just wasn\u2019t there; I wasn\u2019t present.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Physical exhaustion, but also post-partum depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, yes. I walked through a really tough season of anxiety\/depression. I had always seen mental illness as something that people, who aren\u2019t strong, deal with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Saw it as a weakness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I did; I saw it as a weakness; I didn\u2019t understand. I just had never really gotten to a point that I understood or had never really walked through anything like that with a close friend. I didn\u2019t understand what mental illness truly was until I walked through it myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How did you discover that\u2019s where you were at? I mean, I read about the sippy cup\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014which is sort of a moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; I had never been an angry person. I\u2019d never been the type of person\u2014my husband and I don\u2019t really ever fight, angrily, yelling, or anything like that. I\u2019ve never been the type of person to yell at people until I lost it with my kids, and we\u2019re talking tiny children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy two-year-old wasn\u2019t putting something away correctly. I was losing it, yelling at her! I tell the story in the book that I threw a sippy cup of juice against the wall. It was this out-of-body experience of watching myself and thinking, \u201cWho is this person?! This is not me. I\u2019m put together; I\u2019m calm; I\u2019m collected. But something about motherhood has unraveled me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI finally told my husband, \u201cSomething is wrong with me.\u201d That was challenging to admit; because it\u2019s hard to, sometimes, admit that we have a struggle\/that something is going on; and I didn\u2019t even realize what it was at the time. He said, \u201cLets go talk to the doctor just to see.\u201d As I talked through some of the things, we realized that was what was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>That I was dealing with post-partum anxiety and depression. I started having panic attacks and just having the young kids was overwhelming to me. So many of the things in my life were really, really overwhelming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You even write\u2014I mean, it was shocking as I read it\u2014but you\u2019re driving and thinking about \u201cI don\u2019t want to keep going.\u201d You\u2019re talking <em>real<\/em> depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; it was <em>hard<\/em>. A lot of it was\u2014I never really had suicidal thoughts; but I had, \u201cHow can I get myself out of this for a little while?\u201d thoughts; because it\u2019s the daily <em>exhaustion<\/em>, and it <em>feels<\/em> like it\u2019s never going to end. It made me realize there are so many women that have these thoughts. I had help; my parents lived close\u2014they would come and watch the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was awhile that I didn\u2019t want to be alone with my kids. I never had the feeling of hurting my kids, and I\u2019m so thankful for that. I know so many women walk through that of feeling that feeling of wanting to hurt their kids. If you are listening and you feel that, I really, really recommend talking to somebody and reaching out for help. I think that we have to ask for help. That\u2019s the hardest thing for us to do, as women, because we feel like we have to do it all on our own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It feels like failure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It feels like, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with <em>me<\/em> that I can\u2019t be\u2026\u201d Especially at your age, Kara-Kae, you\u2019ve been watching people on social media that look like these moms are doing everything!! And they seem to be <em>thriving<\/em> in this stage. Did you feel guilty in that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, Absolutely! Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I was attending some Bible studies and walking through this with some different women, and I got help. I was on a lot of medication. I had to just come to grips with the fact that that\u2019s okay. It was okay to get help in whatever means that was necessary for me in that season of life. It was about a year that I walked through it. It took a while for my body to get back to normal\/for my mind to get back to normal\u2014for me to <em>feel<\/em> somewhat normal again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was doing a lot of reading at that time; and I had some older women that were mentoring me, and just walking through that season and helping me understand that who God says that I was in that season really helped me and did a lot of transformation in my heart. Because there was so much that\u2014I had thought I had changed completely. I thought I wasn\u2019t worthy of God\u2019s love anymore, because I was so broken and was so damaged, and I wasn\u2019t good enough to be the mom to these kids that He had given me. God kept coming back and saying: \u201cI\u2019ve never changed,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m always right here, and this is who I say you are.\u201d That was so <em>redemptive<\/em> for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your youngest is how old now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>She is nine now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going back nine years to this phase of motherhood for you. If you could go back and redo it\/if you knew then what you know now, how would the experience be different?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if I would change anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Honestly, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Even the moms that are going through that, what\u2019s your encouragement to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I would say that the most important thing is to ask for help. Thankfully, I did. I think I felt like\u2014because it had a title on it\u2014that there were other women that were out there, saying, \u201cOh, post-partum depression\/post-partum anxiety is real,\u201d that it made me feel like it was okay. That was what helped me speak up about it, because I wanted other women to know: \u201cThis is a real thing that real people deal with.\u201d I\u2019ve even struggled with anxiety and things since then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I had an easier time dealing with the post-partum, because I felt like the hormones were there, it was all because of that; that I was able to almost blame it on something, if that makes sense. I was almost able to put this label on it, and say, \u201cIt\u2019s because of what I walked through\/it was because of the season of life I was in, it was so overwhelming, that I was able to go through this.\u201d I had so much help to walk through it with a supportive husband that was there for me, no matter what. He got me through that and, thankfully, my kids came out on the other side; and they don\u2019t remember <em>anything<\/em> from that season. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that sweet of God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I am so glad they were so young and don\u2019t remember mom sitting there, crying every single day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You mentioned your husband helping you through it. I\u2019m thinking of the husband listening. Even if Ann goes through something, sometimes I\u2019m <em>stuck<\/em>. What did your husband do? What <em>can<\/em> a husband do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>That\u2019s so hard; because he always would say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d I think that\u2019s just really wise for the husband just to say, \u201cWhat can I do? What can I do?\u201d When I\u2019m having a hard day, he\u2019ll say, \u201cWhat can I do?\u201d Sometimes I can give him an answer; sometimes I just say, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know\u2014nothing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, \u201cJust be there and be willing,\u201d because sometimes the wife doesn\u2019t necessarily <em>know<\/em> what she needs. She may not <em>know<\/em> what she\u2019s feeling and trying to sort out all of these feelings. I told him, early on with this, \u201cDon\u2019t try to fix me; just be here,\u201d and that\u2019s helped us a lot. There are times, that somethings going on with me, and I\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay; you can fix me; you can fix the situation,\u201d and he gets really excited because he\u2019s ready to fix; but then there are other times that I say, \u201cI don\u2019t need the situation fixed. I need you to just be here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In the middle of those early years, you were looking and going, \u201cI\u2019m doing nothing\/nothing of any significance or any value.\u201d Nine years into the process, as you look at your three kids\u2014and you\u2019ve added\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, we have another\u2014a fourth now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and through adoption?<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; through adoption.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you look at this, do you see the significance in what you\u2019ve invested your life in over the last nine years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I do; I do now. I think it is so hard for moms with little ones; it\u2019s hard when you\u2019re doing the cleaning up, the wiping, the changing diapers, when they can\u2019t do anything. Those years are so challenging; but when you can start communicating with them, when you can see the fruits of your labor\u2014those years are rewarding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m in a really challenging time right now with\u2014the elementary years are challenging, but they\u2019re also really rewarding; because we\u2019re in a sweet spot of really being able to mold and help. This is the time that they\u2019re soaking up everything, and they\u2019re little sponges. It\u2019s just really fun to be able to lean into that season. With my oldest right now, that was so challenging as a baby, now she is just this amazing kid. It\u2019s so fun to watch her grow. We joke that she\u2019s my little clone; she\u2019s so much like me. It\u2019s just <em>really<\/em> amazing to watch them turn into their own little people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You\u2019re in the training years\/the elementary years. You\u2019re in the continual teaching and training. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Bob, it\u2019s interesting\u2014when you said you felt like you were doing nothing, that happened to me. We had three little boys, five and under; and I remember getting on my knees, saying to God, \u201cI am doing <em>nothing<\/em> for Your kingdom.\u201d I realized a lot of my worth was coming from thinking I was <em>doing<\/em> for God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember, when I was on my knees that day, I said, \u201cGod I am doing nothing for You.\u201d I felt He said, \u201cAnd you don\u2019t have to do anything <em>for<\/em> Me to be loved by Me. I love you no matter what you do or don\u2019t do.\u201d It was kind of this freeing aspect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I realized, too\u2014I talk to young moms now, where I\u2019ll take this cup of dirt. It\u2019s a clear cup and I say: \u201cIn those early years of preschoolers, you feel like you see no growth. The plant isn\u2019t coming up; nothing is happening that brings you satisfaction. Yet, the most important part of that plant are the roots that are going deep. Those years we <em>are<\/em> building; we are doing things. Just for us to be in the home, and to love them, and kiss them goodnight, and to pray for them\u2014that is where we are building that root system. It matters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you glad you made that investment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019m <em>really<\/em> glad because now I look back and I think, \u201cThose were <em>hard<\/em> years, but those years probably changed <em>me<\/em> more than my kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s the truth of motherhood. Those years change <em>us<\/em>; and we rely on God\u2014of saying, \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this apart from You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just don\u2019t want moms listening to lose a sense of the absolute significance of shaping the lives of young people\u2014pointing them to Jesus, working on that root structure, molding the direction of their life. I mean, we\u2019re talking about human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the thing, when you\u2019re in the workplace, you\u2019ve got people going: \u201cOh! You\u2019re really good at this,\u201d \u201cWay to go; high-five!\u201d \u201cYou get a bonus!\u201d At home, you\u2019ve got kids going [whiney voice], \u201cMom!\u201d; right? [Laughter] You\u2019re not going to get the reward system at home that you get in the marketplace. I sometimes think the idea that: \u201cI\u2019m not significant, is because there\u2019s nobody cheering me on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to cheer on the moms\u2014who are at home, and your kids are griping and whining\u2014and just go, \u201cLook, you\u2019re doing something that is <em>so incredibly<\/em> significant for the lives of your kids, for the next generation, for the legacy you\u2019re going to leave. Just persevere at this and\u2014and Mom up!\u201d\u2014okay? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the book title from the book that Kara has written, <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood. <\/em>We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center; and you can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com<em>. <\/em>The number to call to get a copy of <em>Mom Up<\/em> is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just mention here\u2014both moms and dads could benefit from some interaction with other moms and dads and a little bit of coaching at the same time. FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has created the eight-part video series\u2014it\u2019s a small group series called the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122. I\u2019m excited to see a lot of churches that are doing classes or using this in small groups. Find out more about how you can go through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> with other moms and dads when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The kit includes a copy of our movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, which is a great way to kick off your parenting study together. Watch the movie and then get together to go through the classes. Again, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, while you\u2019re on our website, we\u2019ve got something free for you to download, that will help you, as a mom or a dad, engage your kids and help cultivate a heart of gratitude\/a heart of thankfulness in your children. We have created what we call, \u201cThe Family Gratitude Plan.\u201d There are activities and articles available in the plan\u2014just some creative things you can do, as a family, to help <em>everybody<\/em> be more thankful during this time of year. Download the free \u201cFamily Gratitude Plan\u201d when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese resources that we are providing are part of our mission to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. We hope this kind of practical biblical help for your marriage and your family is something that you find beneficial. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll continue our conversation with Kara-Kae James, talking about the chaos of motherhood and where you find grace in the middle of all of that. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:25"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.1M"],"filesize_raw":["26315662"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305475.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305475.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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James thought that motherhood was a cinch. And then she had kids! James admits that motherhood made her emotionally and mentally tired, weary and burned out with postpartum depression.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 30<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Have you ever felt like being a mom was nothing\/like it was inconsequential?\u2014like you weren\u2019t accomplishing much of anything? Have you ever felt overwhelmed in the process? Well, Kara-Kae James can relate. We\u2019re going to talk about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I want to know about your first months, as a mom. Was it heavenly mom bliss? I mean, I know you have to recover from delivering a baby and all of that, but were you just in mom heaven in the first months as a mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I felt like a semi-truck hit me; and I was laying on the ground, thinking, \u201cWhat has happened to my life?\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Like for months you felt that way? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>For months; yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I felt pretty competent and secure in most areas of my life. I felt confident going into motherhood\u2014I\u2019d read books; I\u2019d been to Bible studies with other moms; and I thought, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to be great at this,\u201d\u2014not realizing this would be the <em>hardest<\/em> season of my life, when they were little.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you picked up the book, <em>Mom Up,<\/em> by our guest today, Kara-Kae James, you went, \u201cI can so relate to this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly! I thought, \u201cThank you for writing about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; Kara-Kae, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Thanks for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Kara-Kae and her husband Brook live in Wichita Falls, Texas. Kara-Kae is a blogger; in fact, a lot of our listeners may follow her on the <em>Thrive Moms<\/em> blog. The book, <em>Mom Up<\/em>, is about <em>Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Ann described, you were right there with her\u2014maybe even amped up a little bit from what she described\u2014right?\u2014because your first months of motherhood were <em>awful<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>They were; they were awful first <em>years<\/em>! I would almost say, \u201cStill are many days.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you go into it with the idealized, \u201cI\u2019m going to be great at this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; yes! I have a perfectionist personality. Anything I go into, I\u2019m set out to do it right\/do it well. When I went into motherhood, I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this <em>really<\/em> well. I\u2019m going to be the best at this. I\u2019m going to do it great.\u201d I even struggled to read some of the parenting books, when I became a new mom\u2014even before I was a mom\u2014because I thought, \u201cThey don\u2019t know what they are talking about. I\u2019m going to figure this out on my own. I\u2019m going to do it right; I\u2019m going to this best.\u201d Then I had a baby that was not what I expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I love what you say\u2014you said, \u201cI was a great mom until I had kids!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Exactly! I could tell you how to do it! Now, when people ask me parenting advice, I say, \u201cOh, don\u2019t ask me; I don\u2019t have any idea what I\u2019m doing!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Actually, your pregnancy\/your first pregnancy was pretty rough; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, yes; my pregnancies were all very rough. I carried my first baby \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t42 weeks; and then she was born, and she had colic. It\u2019s like: \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this baby?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with me?\u201d \u201cWhy am I not doing this right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Did you start doubting yourself?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae:<\/strong> Yes; absolutely! I doubted that I was doing things right; I doubted <em>her<\/em>; I doubted my\/our capabilities, as a couple, that we were able to do this parenting thing. I quit my job and stayed home; but I was <em>miserable<\/em>\/completely miserable, because it wasn\u2019t anything like I imagined that it would be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>She\u2019s not sleeping at night<a id=\"_Hlk21449669\">\u2014<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, no! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014at all!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Now let me ask you this: \u201cIs the husband helping?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>He was great help! Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>He was great, and still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>But he was still working, so he helped when he could. I had quit my job to stay home to take care of her\u2014to do the mom thing. That was a <em>really<\/em> hard transition for me, because I never imagined myself to be this stay-at-home mom person. I always thought, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m going to be this career-driven woman. I worked really hard; I have all these goals and ambitions for myself.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then, all of a sudden, I have this new path for myself. Being a stay-at-home mom felt like a failure to me. It didn\u2019t feel like it was anything important; it didn\u2019t feel like a good job\/a good role. I didn\u2019t feel like I was doing anything to give back to society or to my family. That was a <em>huge<\/em> struggle for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I want to jump in on that, because this is a decision you guys made for you to be a stay-at-home mom. Going into being a stay-at-home, were you thinking, \u201cThis is the right thing to do,\u201d or were you thinking, \u201cI\u2019m settling for less than\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>A little bit of both, because of what my career was. I was an event planner; I worked so many hours. I knew that it wasn\u2019t really the right job that I could do for my family at that time because I wasn\u2019t able to see my daughter and my husband the way that I wanted to do. Either I would have to find a different job or I would have to\/we would have to make some major sacrifices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that many women don\u2019t have the capabilities of staying home. We decided, \u201cOkay, we are going to make some big sacrifices.\u201d My husband is a pastor, so it\u2019s not like we were rolling in millions of dollars that we could say, \u201cWe have plenty; we\u2019re fine.\u201d It was a really difficult decision to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this.\u201d We just felt it was the right thing, at that time, for me to have the time to spend with my daughter at that age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing I want to take apart a little bit. You felt it was the right thing; but\u00a0 then, in doing it, you\u2019re feeling like: \u201cI\u2019m settling for less than. I\u2019m not being the woman I should be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, a generation ago\u2014and maybe you can tell me, Ann\u2014I think, a generation ago, there were more young women, who grew up thinking, \u201cIf I\u2019m a wife and a mom, that\u2019s a good thing. It\u2019s something where I\u2019m contributing,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m doing what\u2019s important, and this matters.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think today, among your generation, there are many fewer young women who think to be a stay-at-home mom is a right and good thing and \u201cI\u2019m fulfilling a significant mandate if I\u2019m doing this.\u201d Has the voice of the culture so reached in that it said to young women, \u201cMotherhood is insignificant; and unless you\u2019re contributing in the marketplace, you\u2019re really not doing anything important\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I think it has. I think a lot of women feel like being a mom is inconsequential. If you\u2019re not providing, somehow, to your family financially\/if you\u2019re not doing something to put back into the world in some way, we feel like we\u2019re not doing something. We don\u2019t see that what we\u2019re doing\u2014of raising our children\u2014to be something to put into the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do see that the culture has shifted in that way\u2014that we look at our role as a parent\u2014I think dads struggle with this, too; I don\u2019t think this is just a mom thing\u2014that we look at our roles in this world and we think, \u201cOh well,\u00a0 my career is really important,\u201d because whatever that job is that I\u2019m doing and, then, these other things fall under there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut raising our kids and teaching them about Jesus, and teaching them to grow to\u00a0 be responsible human beings that can give back to society, and that can grow to know God and love Him, very well can be the best thing and the greatest thing we ever do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yet, you didn\u2019t feel that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m sitting here, looking at two different generations of moms. I know I can\u2019t speak for Ann, but I can remember what she told me\u2014same thing you\u2019re saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, you felt the same thing, even in a different generation. I remember you saying exactly what Kara-Kae said right now\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cI\u2019m doing <em>nothing<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; I did the same thing. I went from a thriving ministry to being at home. I felt like, \u201cI\u2019m doing <em>nothing<\/em>\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cto contribute to the kingdom,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014even though I knew\/I knew\u2014like, \u201cI\u2019m raising this disciple; I know this!\u201d Then I would go to the grocery store, exhausted, with no make-up, with my sweatpants on. The woman would grab me and say, \u201cOh honey, this is such a wonderful time of your life. It just flies by.\u201d I remember thinking, \u201cEvery day feels like a million years!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Here you are\u2014you\u2019re struggling; you have this baby at home; and then, you get pregnant again\u2014a couple times!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>\u2014a couple times!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>As Dave said, you had three kids, three and under. What was going on then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>We decided: \u201cWe wanted to have more kids. Let\u2019s get this over with,\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014the pregnancies were <em>challenging<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t necessarily getting <em>better<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>No, it wasn\u2019t getting better. We just said, \u201cOkay, lets do it! Let\u2019s get it over with; maybe it\u2019ll get better.\u201d We had three under three. My oldest was still two when my youngest of the three was born; so I had a newborn, a one-year-old, and a two-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that year\u2014I joke now, but I always say I don\u2019t remember anything about the first year of her life\u2014but in so many ways it is true; because I was so tired, mentally\/emotionally. I was so disconnected, and so tired, and weary, and burned out, that I just wasn\u2019t there; I wasn\u2019t present.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Physical exhaustion, but also post-partum depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, yes. I walked through a really tough season of anxiety\/depression. I had always seen mental illness as something that people, who aren\u2019t strong, deal with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Saw it as a weakness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I did; I saw it as a weakness; I didn\u2019t understand. I just had never really gotten to a point that I understood or had never really walked through anything like that with a close friend. I didn\u2019t understand what mental illness truly was until I walked through it myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How did you discover that\u2019s where you were at? I mean, I read about the sippy cup\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae:<\/strong> Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014which is sort of a moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; I had never been an angry person. I\u2019d never been the type of person\u2014my husband and I don\u2019t really ever fight, angrily, yelling, or anything like that. I\u2019ve never been the type of person to yell at people until I lost it with my kids, and we\u2019re talking tiny children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy two-year-old wasn\u2019t putting something away correctly. I was losing it, yelling at her! I tell the story in the book that I threw a sippy cup of juice against the wall. It was this out-of-body experience of watching myself and thinking, \u201cWho is this person?! This is not me. I\u2019m put together; I\u2019m calm; I\u2019m collected. But something about motherhood has unraveled me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI finally told my husband, \u201cSomething is wrong with me.\u201d That was challenging to admit; because it\u2019s hard to, sometimes, admit that we have a struggle\/that something is going on; and I didn\u2019t even realize what it was at the time. He said, \u201cLets go talk to the doctor just to see.\u201d As I talked through some of the things, we realized that was what was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>That I was dealing with post-partum anxiety and depression. I started having panic attacks and just having the young kids was overwhelming to me. So many of the things in my life were really, really overwhelming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You even write\u2014I mean, it was shocking as I read it\u2014but you\u2019re driving and thinking about \u201cI don\u2019t want to keep going.\u201d You\u2019re talking <em>real<\/em> depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; it was <em>hard<\/em>. A lot of it was\u2014I never really had suicidal thoughts; but I had, \u201cHow can I get myself out of this for a little while?\u201d thoughts; because it\u2019s the daily <em>exhaustion<\/em>, and it <em>feels<\/em> like it\u2019s never going to end. It made me realize there are so many women that have these thoughts. I had help; my parents lived close\u2014they would come and watch the kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was awhile that I didn\u2019t want to be alone with my kids. I never had the feeling of hurting my kids, and I\u2019m so thankful for that. I know so many women walk through that of feeling that feeling of wanting to hurt their kids. If you are listening and you feel that, I really, really recommend talking to somebody and reaching out for help. I think that we have to ask for help. That\u2019s the hardest thing for us to do, as women, because we feel like we have to do it all on our own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It feels like failure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It feels like, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with <em>me<\/em> that I can\u2019t be\u2026\u201d Especially at your age, Kara-Kae, you\u2019ve been watching people on social media that look like these moms are doing everything!! And they seem to be <em>thriving<\/em> in this stage. Did you feel guilty in that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Oh, Absolutely! Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I was attending some Bible studies and walking through this with some different women, and I got help. I was on a lot of medication. I had to just come to grips with the fact that that\u2019s okay. It was okay to get help in whatever means that was necessary for me in that season of life. It was about a year that I walked through it. It took a while for my body to get back to normal\/for my mind to get back to normal\u2014for me to <em>feel<\/em> somewhat normal again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was doing a lot of reading at that time; and I had some older women that were mentoring me, and just walking through that season and helping me understand that who God says that I was in that season really helped me and did a lot of transformation in my heart. Because there was so much that\u2014I had thought I had changed completely. I thought I wasn\u2019t worthy of God\u2019s love anymore, because I was so broken and was so damaged, and I wasn\u2019t good enough to be the mom to these kids that He had given me. God kept coming back and saying: \u201cI\u2019ve never changed,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m always right here, and this is who I say you are.\u201d That was so <em>redemptive<\/em> for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Your youngest is how old now? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>She is nine now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We\u2019re going back nine years to this phase of motherhood for you. If you could go back and redo it\/if you knew then what you know now, how would the experience be different?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know if I would change anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Honestly, yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Even the moms that are going through that, what\u2019s your encouragement to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I would say that the most important thing is to ask for help. Thankfully, I did. I think I felt like\u2014because it had a title on it\u2014that there were other women that were out there, saying, \u201cOh, post-partum depression\/post-partum anxiety is real,\u201d that it made me feel like it was okay. That was what helped me speak up about it, because I wanted other women to know: \u201cThis is a real thing that real people deal with.\u201d I\u2019ve even struggled with anxiety and things since then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I had an easier time dealing with the post-partum, because I felt like the hormones were there, it was all because of that; that I was able to almost blame it on something, if that makes sense. I was almost able to put this label on it, and say, \u201cIt\u2019s because of what I walked through\/it was because of the season of life I was in, it was so overwhelming, that I was able to go through this.\u201d I had so much help to walk through it with a supportive husband that was there for me, no matter what. He got me through that and, thankfully, my kids came out on the other side; and they don\u2019t remember <em>anything<\/em> from that season. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that sweet of God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I am so glad they were so young and don\u2019t remember mom sitting there, crying every single day!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You mentioned your husband helping you through it. I\u2019m thinking of the husband listening. Even if Ann goes through something, sometimes I\u2019m <em>stuck<\/em>. What did your husband do? What <em>can<\/em> a husband do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>That\u2019s so hard; because he always would say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d I think that\u2019s just really wise for the husband just to say, \u201cWhat can I do? What can I do?\u201d When I\u2019m having a hard day, he\u2019ll say, \u201cWhat can I do?\u201d Sometimes I can give him an answer; sometimes I just say, \u201cI don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t know\u2014nothing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, \u201cJust be there and be willing,\u201d because sometimes the wife doesn\u2019t necessarily <em>know<\/em> what she needs. She may not <em>know<\/em> what she\u2019s feeling and trying to sort out all of these feelings. I told him, early on with this, \u201cDon\u2019t try to fix me; just be here,\u201d and that\u2019s helped us a lot. There are times, that somethings going on with me, and I\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay; you can fix me; you can fix the situation,\u201d and he gets really excited because he\u2019s ready to fix; but then there are other times that I say, \u201cI don\u2019t need the situation fixed. I need you to just be here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In the middle of those early years, you were looking and going, \u201cI\u2019m doing nothing\/nothing of any significance or any value.\u201d Nine years into the process, as you look at your three kids\u2014and you\u2019ve added\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes, we have another\u2014a fourth now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and through adoption?<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes; through adoption.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As you look at this, do you see the significance in what you\u2019ve invested your life in over the last nine years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>I do; I do now. I think it is so hard for moms with little ones; it\u2019s hard when you\u2019re doing the cleaning up, the wiping, the changing diapers, when they can\u2019t do anything. Those years are so challenging; but when you can start communicating with them, when you can see the fruits of your labor\u2014those years are rewarding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m in a really challenging time right now with\u2014the elementary years are challenging, but they\u2019re also really rewarding; because we\u2019re in a sweet spot of really being able to mold and help. This is the time that they\u2019re soaking up everything, and they\u2019re little sponges. It\u2019s just really fun to be able to lean into that season. With my oldest right now, that was so challenging as a baby, now she is just this amazing kid. It\u2019s so fun to watch her grow. We joke that she\u2019s my little clone; she\u2019s so much like me. It\u2019s just <em>really<\/em> amazing to watch them turn into their own little people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>You\u2019re in the training years\/the elementary years. You\u2019re in the continual teaching and training. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Bob, it\u2019s interesting\u2014when you said you felt like you were doing nothing, that happened to me. We had three little boys, five and under; and I remember getting on my knees, saying to God, \u201cI am doing <em>nothing<\/em> for Your kingdom.\u201d I realized a lot of my worth was coming from thinking I was <em>doing<\/em> for God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I remember, when I was on my knees that day, I said, \u201cGod I am doing nothing for You.\u201d I felt He said, \u201cAnd you don\u2019t have to do anything <em>for<\/em> Me to be loved by Me. I love you no matter what you do or don\u2019t do.\u201d It was kind of this freeing aspect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I realized, too\u2014I talk to young moms now, where I\u2019ll take this cup of dirt. It\u2019s a clear cup and I say: \u201cIn those early years of preschoolers, you feel like you see no growth. The plant isn\u2019t coming up; nothing is happening that brings you satisfaction. Yet, the most important part of that plant are the roots that are going deep. Those years we <em>are<\/em> building; we are doing things. Just for us to be in the home, and to love them, and kiss them goodnight, and to pray for them\u2014that is where we are building that root system. It matters.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are you glad you made that investment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019m <em>really<\/em> glad because now I look back and I think, \u201cThose were <em>hard<\/em> years, but those years probably changed <em>me<\/em> more than my kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kara-Kae: <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s the truth of motherhood. Those years change <em>us<\/em>; and we rely on God\u2014of saying, \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this apart from You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just don\u2019t want moms listening to lose a sense of the absolute significance of shaping the lives of young people\u2014pointing them to Jesus, working on that root structure, molding the direction of their life. I mean, we\u2019re talking about human beings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the thing, when you\u2019re in the workplace, you\u2019ve got people going: \u201cOh! You\u2019re really good at this,\u201d \u201cWay to go; high-five!\u201d \u201cYou get a bonus!\u201d At home, you\u2019ve got kids going [whiney voice], \u201cMom!\u201d; right? [Laughter] You\u2019re not going to get the reward system at home that you get in the marketplace. I sometimes think the idea that: \u201cI\u2019m not significant, is because there\u2019s nobody cheering me on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to cheer on the moms\u2014who are at home, and your kids are griping and whining\u2014and just go, \u201cLook, you\u2019re doing something that is <em>so incredibly<\/em> significant for the lives of your kids, for the next generation, for the legacy you\u2019re going to leave. Just persevere at this and\u2014and Mom up!\u201d\u2014okay? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the book title from the book that Kara has written, <em>Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood. <\/em>We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center; and you can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com<em>. <\/em>The number to call to get a copy of <em>Mom Up<\/em> is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just mention here\u2014both moms and dads could benefit from some interaction with other moms and dads and a little bit of coaching at the same time. FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has created the eight-part video series\u2014it\u2019s a small group series called the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122. I\u2019m excited to see a lot of churches that are doing classes or using this in small groups. Find out more about how you can go through the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> with other moms and dads when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. The kit includes a copy of our movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>, which is a great way to kick off your parenting study together. Watch the movie and then get together to go through the classes. Again, find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHey, while you\u2019re on our website, we\u2019ve got something free for you to download, that will help you, as a mom or a dad, engage your kids and help cultivate a heart of gratitude\/a heart of thankfulness in your children. We have created what we call, \u201cThe Family Gratitude Plan.\u201d There are activities and articles available in the plan\u2014just some creative things you can do, as a family, to help <em>everybody<\/em> be more thankful during this time of year. Download the free \u201cFamily Gratitude Plan\u201d when you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese resources that we are providing are part of our mission to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world. We hope this kind of practical biblical help for your marriage and your family is something that you find beneficial. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll continue our conversation with Kara-Kae James, talking about the chaos of motherhood and where you find grace in the middle of all of that. Hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305475"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305475"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305475"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305475"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}