{"id":305441,"date":"2019-10-18T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-10-18T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/feeling-like-a-phony\/"},"modified":"2019-10-18T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-10-18T10:00:05","slug":"feeling-like-a-phony","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feeling-like-a-phony\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Like a Phony"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ron Deal says there&#8217;s no need to carry around the baggage of your past sins and we should let God deal with it. He talks us through the story of the woman at the well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:00","filesize":"24.72M","filesize_raw":"25923892","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,10448,2827,2894],"tags":[4299],"podcast_series":[8310],"cwp_profile":[3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305441","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-ministering-to-stepfamilies","category-repentance","category-stepfamily-living","tag-faith","podcast_series-messy-families","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305441\/feeling-like-a-phony","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305441\/feeling-like-a-phony","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kF9Ko0K3v2\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feeling-like-a-phony\/\">Feeling Like a Phony<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feeling-like-a-phony\/embed\/#?secret=kF9Ko0K3v2\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Feeling Like a Phony&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kF9Ko0K3v2\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, October 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is good news and there is hope for all of us in broken, imperfect families. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Ron Deal. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We had the experience\u2014Mary Ann and I\u2014when we were raising our kids\u2014there were nights where we would get in the car, and we would be driving to our small group meeting. Some of our listeners have heard me tell this before; but we\u2019d be driving there, thinking, \u201cOkay; our kids are going to be in prison one day or, at least, they are juvenile delinquents. We are failing as parents.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere was the encouragement\u2014when we got to the small group and it was time for sharing and stuff, we were hearing the other families talk about their kids; and we went, \u201cOur kids aren\u2019t so bad after all,\u201d or \u201cAt least, they are on par with the other kids.\u201d We were so encouraged to know that what felt like was only our story\u2014it is going on in <em>every<\/em> household. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and hopefully, you are part of a group that will share that honestly. We have been. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s so <em>reassuring<\/em>. It\u2019s hopeful; because you feel like, \u201cOkay; they\u2019ve messed up too, but their kids\u201d\u2014it\u2019s helpful to have someone further along so that you can see\u2014\u201ctheir kids survived it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We always picked the group by the families that were more messed up than us, so we would feel a little better when we left that place. [Laughter] We didn\u2019t find too many of those. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of a message today from our friend, Ron Deal, that asks the question, \u201cWhy is it that there are so many dysfunctional family models in the Bible?\u201d You read through the Old Testament\u2014we\u2019ve already heard Ron, this week, talk about how Abraham tried to traffic his wife in Egypt, and how there was the whole mess between Jacob\u2014wanted to marry one woman; he had to marry the other one\u2014so, now, she\u2019s [Leah\u2019s] the unloved wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou go on through the Bible\u2014whether it\u2019s Samson and Delilah\u2014talk about a dysfunctional marriage relationship; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Even David\u2014who we all esteem, and admire, and read his psalms and love\u2014and yet, boy, there was some messed up stuff there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then his son marries 300 women and has 700 concubines, so there is some significant dysfunction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon Deal addresses that in the message we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of today. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He is the host of a new podcast called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. You can find out more about his podcast by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and checking out the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Podcast Network. He is the author of the book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, and other books on the subject of blended families and stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I think what he is saying is: \u201cLook at your own family and recognize that you\u2019re just like the people in the Bible,\u201d and \u201cGod was their God, and He is your God; and He is at work in the midst of all of this.\u201d Here is Ron Deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Why in the world would God let <em>this<\/em> be the legacy of His people? Why in the world would He design the family for our benefit and then give us a story of people who can\u2019t do it? Why would He lay out principles for living life, and the blueprints for doing family, and then have <em>nobody<\/em> in His clan\u2014if you\u2019re going to say, \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u201d wouldn\u2019t you kind of like to have examples?\u2014say: \u201cHey, be like Abraham,\u201d \u201cBe like Isaac,\u201d \u201cBe like Jacob\u201d? But who wants to be like that?! It is kind of an important question: \u201cWhy in the world would God do that for us?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got three quick reasons for you. Number one, He wants to humble us; He wants to humble us. He wants to remind us that it is not about our performance, or our power, or our ability to pull it off. How He loves us, how He uses us, and our accessibility to Him and what He will do in our lives has nothing to do with us. We want to believe the good marriage is all within my power: \u201cIf I could just grow up, it\u2019s all going to be fine,\u201d and \u201cGood kids are all within our control.\u201d Self-reliance is the temptation for all of us; it is certainly a temptation for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s when I kind of begin to connect some dots\u2014that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob\u2014that phrase, I don\u2019t think is about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; but I think, maybe, it\u2019s about God; because the second thing God wants to do, after He humbles us, is He wants to use His power to redeem our lives in spite of who we are; and He wants to reveal, through us, His redemptive work in the world. Our imperfections are an opportunity for God to work through us to send a message to everybody else. The story is God\u2019s story not, necessarily, our story. He works <em>through<\/em> us, in spite of us, by His mercy and, then, <em>through<\/em> us by His grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three, He wants to invite you and me to join Him without fear\/without being anxious over our imperfections\u2014about walking around paranoid: \u201cI\u2019m not good enough,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m here,\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t help other people. I don\u2019t have it all together,\u201d \u201cWho are we to try to offer a class?\u201d \u201cWho are we to stand up and try to represent this marriage and family? Who are we?\u201d See, that anxiety speaks to how much we rely on our own perfection. It speaks to how self-reliant we really\u2014that we really think, at the end of the day, it\u2019s within our control. That anxiety gives us away, and we haven\u2019t learned to lean on God\u2019s grace enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was doing a stepfamily conference one time, and we went to a break. This guy made a beeline up the middle row\/middle aisle, and he came right to me. I remember he had a very intense look on his face. I thought: \u201cI\u2019ve made him mad. He\u2019s going to hit me.\u201d He came right up to me; and he goes, \u201cWhat do I do about the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019?!\u201d I\u2019m looking on his forehead for a big \u201cD\u201d tattooed and a big \u201cR\u201d; of course, there is nothing there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat do I do about the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019?\u201d I said: \u201cDude, you\u2019ve got to give me a little more. What do you mean?\u201d \u201cDivorce and Remarried\u2014it\u2019s right there; it\u2019s tattooed on my forehead. Everywhere I go\u2014when I walk in the church\u2014everybody knows this about me. I left my first wife; I caused a lot of pain to my children. I left the Lord; I ran away from all of that stuff. Then, I finally came back to God; and in the process, now, I\u2019ve fallen in love with another woman. We\u2019ve got a stepfamily. We\u2019re trying to make a good go of this, and we\u2019re here at this conference to try to figure this out; but I\u2019m constantly reminded of my sin. Everything that is going on here is a reminder. I feel like, when I walk in the church, everybody can see the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R,\u2019 and they judge me for it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, I\u2019ll tell you what I said to the guy in just a minute; but before I do that, I just want to ask you, \u201cI\u2019m wondering what tattoos you came in here with today?\u201d You know, maybe, your marriage is struggling; maybe, you are in a hard season right now, and it\u2019s just difficult; maybe, you\u2019re struggling with one of your kids; maybe, your mother is just driving you nuts; you know? Maybe, you come from an abusive home, where the only legacy you grew up with is one of abandonment and irresponsibility. No matter how hard you work at trying to outlive that and outrun that, you just can\u2019t fully escape it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you come from a family of chaos and neglect; and maybe, you had an abortion at some point in your lifetime; or you had a child out of wedlock. Maybe, pornography is just haunting you\u2014like you\u2019re working at it, and you\u2019re working at it, and it\u2019s just hard. Maybe\/just maybe, you\u2019re one of those regular families that has bad hair days, and bad parenting days, and difficulty; and you just don\u2019t have it all figured out. No matter what you do, you can\u2019t wipe off the tattoo. What do you do if that is <em>you<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at this guy; and I said: \u201cDude, I get it\u2014divorce and remarried. I\u2019m sorry people judge you for it; and by the way, they will\u2014especially Christian folks. They\u2019ll never let you live that down\u2014some of them\u2014and they will treat you differently. I\u2019m sorry about that; but that\u2019s not your God; because you see, in God\u2019s eyes, maybe, the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019 doesn\u2019t mean \u2018divorced and remarried.\u2019 Maybe, it means \u2018delivered and redeemed.\u2019 Maybe, it\u2019s really not about you, or your past, or your imperfections. Maybe, it has something to do with what God is willing to do, in and through you, in spite of you. Maybe, it\u2019s about His story and not yours.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, that\u2019s the thing that I want us to understand about how God works in the world. What we think is the worst part of us\u2014in the hands of our God\u2014it becomes the best part of us\/becomes our most important tool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is this other story in the Bible\u2014this one is in the New Testament; although the other families we\u2019ve talked about have been in the Old Testament. In John, Chapter 4, there is this woman, who goes out to a well one day. She is there all by herself. Jesus happens to encounter her at this well, and they have a conversation. We don\u2019t have time to read it all. Jesus engages her in this magical way that only Jesus knows how to do. He is going to engage her around this concept of living water, but she keeps thinking physical water. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says to her, \u201cHey, would you give Me a drink?\u201d\u2014entering into this space of dialogue. She goes: \u201cHey, look, dude\/buddy, You are a Jew; I\u2019m a Samaritan. We\u2019re not supposed to have this conversation. Don\u2019t you remember the rules?\u201d Clearly, she\u2019s not tracking with Him. He tries one more time again\u2014He says, \u201cWell, if you knew who I was, actually, you\u2019d be asking Me for a drink.\u201d She goes: \u201cYou don\u2019t even have a bucket. How in the world are You going to give me water out of this well?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo; lady, you\u2019re not tracking with Me.\u201d He goes a third time\u2014He says to her, \u201cYou know everyone who drinks this water is going to be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst again.\u201d She goes one more time over into this physical space: \u201cOh my goodness! Sounds great. Would You give me some of that water? I don\u2019t want to have to come out here all the time to get water. I\u2019d love to just stop having to come every day.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLook, lady, you\u2019re not tracking with Me.\u201d So, Jesus does a Jesus thing; and He changes the subject. He goes right to her real thirst\u2014He says, \u201cGo call your husband.\u201d To which she says, \u201cI don\u2019t have one of those.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes; that\u2019s true.\u201d He said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been married five times, and now you are living with a guy.\u201d Then she says: \u201cOh, so, You are a prophet. Only someone like that could know that about me. How in the world do You know this about me?\u201d Now, He\u2019s got her attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes Jesus bring up her past in order to make her feel ashamed and make her feel like: \u201cI\u2019m so imperfect. I do not belong here. I should not be having this conversation\u201d? Absolutely not. He uses her past to get her attention about thirst so He can talk to her about what the answer to her thirst is, so He can point her to living water. Now, she\u2019s listening; now, she\u2019s tracking with Him; and now, He can talk to her about eternal things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point in time, He shares the living water with her in which she does what? She drinks; she drinks deep; she drinks it all the way down. How do we know?\u2014because of what happens next. She goes back into town; she goes back into town, and she starts telling everybody: \u201cHey, I met this guy. He\u2019s told me everything I\u2019ve ever done.\u201d They are like: \u201cOh, honey, we know what you\u2019ve been doing. We\u2019ve been talking about you all day. You\u2019re trending on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> as a matter of fact. You do know this; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like: \u201cNo; I don\u2019t think you understand. I think the worst part of me is somehow the best part of me now.\u201d How does this happen? She had the audacity to embrace grace, and then she let her story be wrapped into God\u2019s eternal story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing about everybody in this room\u2014we can\u2019t change our story; your past is your past; but in Christ, you can change the story you tell about your story. The meaning of it changes when we wrap it into God\u2019s eternal story. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is not about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It\u2019s about God, and what He is doing in us, in spite of us, and through us\u2014just like He does with this woman. All of a sudden, a less-than-perfect family becomes a less-than-perfect guide that brings about perfect results\u2014people start flocking to Jesus. John goes out of his way to tell us that the people came from town, and many believed in Him\u2014from isolation [for the woman at the well] to impact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019ve got one last thought about this story. My favorite part of this story\u2014the woman at the well, for me\u2014does anybody happen to know the name of the well? This whole conversation takes place by a well. What\u2019s the name of it? Does anybody remember?\u2014it\u2019s Jacob\u2019s well. \u201cOh, you mean Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?\u201d\u2014absolutely. You want to talk about a monument. This well is sitting on land that Dad gave to his favored son, Joseph. It is a monument to family dysfunction; and 1,000 years before, there was a messed-up family. God said to them: \u201cYour imperfection is really not a problem for Me. It\u2019s okay; I\u2019m going to work through you. I\u2019m going to use you, because it\u2019s about what I\u2019m doing\/about how I\u2019m redeeming your family story.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward a thousand years, and there is another woman with a very dysfunctional, messed up, imperfect life, who encounters the same living God, who says to her: \u201cNot only is your past not a problem for Me. I can do something with this story if you\u2019ll just let Me. Drink the water deeply.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay I suggest to you that we sit here today\u20142,000-some years later, after that story and that occasion\u2014and you and I, everyday, live by wells. You and I are going out into the world. Number one, He wants us to hear, for us, that our past is not a problem for God. He is more than happy to redeem our story, and what we think is the worst part of us can become the best part of us. It can become a tool that we use to go into town and bring other people out to the well to drink deeply from the water. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut He also wants us understanding that we are doing that corporately, as a ministry. That is what FamilyLife seeks to do\u2014is to go to the various wells, where people congregate in this world. Some of them are built around family type; some of them are built around economics; some of them are built around interests; but we want to be able to go into those places and stand there, and meet people with the life that they have, and offer them some living hope based on where they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to give them something practical and something helpful to deal with their real thirst\u2014not only the horizontal, physical thirst that they have in this life\/relational thirst that they have\u2014but ultimately, point them to the eternal thirst and draws them to Jesus so that they will drink well; and they will go back into their corners of the world and bring more people out to Jesus. That\u2019s how this whole ministry\u2019s going to roll; that\u2019s what we\u2019re called to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019ve got to do is just have the <em>audacity<\/em> to embrace grace, to drink deep, to quit worrying about how much we\u2019ve messed up; to just simply say: \u201cGod, I turn it all over to You. Use me in spite of me.\u201d Let\u2019s see what He does. Let\u2019s pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, I want to thank You for loving us and caring so much and deeply about us that You would be our God\u2014the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and Ron\u2014that you would say: \u201cYour past is not a problem, Ron. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m with you. Let Me redeem the story.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive me deeper faith, God, and trust in You so that I can constantly turn my life over to You. Would You give these people the same?\u2014a trust at a depth, where we just release it\/where we have the audacity to embrace Your grace to become Your tools and instruments for the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pray a blessing over FamilyLife and where we are headed and where we are going. If we\u2019re going in the wrong direction, then tell us; but if not, would You empower us when we discover people sitting by wells? Would You help us to have words that are relevant, and helpful, and practical, and that point them to things that are of ultimate, eternal value for them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank You, God, for the \u201cD\u201d and the \u201cR.\u201d In Your Son\u2019s name we pray. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: Amen. Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to a message from Ron Deal, who gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended and who hosts the new <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast, talking about dysfunction in families and how that\u2019s an opportunity for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019m going to let our listeners in on a little bit of secret here\u2014and maybe, they\u2019ve already figured this out\u2014but here, at FamilyLife, our goal is\u2014not only to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014but to really speak to marriages and families as a way to get to the core issues of life\/the spiritual issues of life and help people understand their relationship with God, and what it means to be yielded to Him, and to walk with Him, and to operate in the power of the Holy Spirit. We want people to thrive in every aspect of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just have found, over my life, that the place where my relationship with God is most often tested\/where it\u2019s most often tested is in my marriage and in my family. If I can get that right, I can probably handle the other stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s interesting what Ron was talking about; you know? The woman at the well\u2014when you go to a marriage conference, or tune into a radio show like this, or a podcast about marriage and family, I think we often think: \u201cI need marriage help,\u201d \u201cI need family help. I\u2019m in trouble.\u201d What we point you to is what Jesus did at the well: \u201cYou want water? You want your marriage fixed? Here\u2019s the answer: living water\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s Jesus.\u201d What Ron was saying there\u2014Jesus is the only One that can deliver and redeem. It isn\u2019t going to be some helpful book on marriage, which is definitely helpful; but you\u2019ve got to go to the source. You\u2019ve got to go vertical\u2014go to Jesus and find life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think some of my sweetest moments, spiritually, have been when I have been so broken and lost in knowing how to make my marriage better and how to be a better parent. That has driven me to my knees: asking God for help, asking Him for wisdom, asking Him to redeem our family, to give us hope. I love the reassurance, just like the woman at the well, that He is always there; and He\u2019s always offering more than what we even hope for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our desire here is that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and all we do, here at FamilyLife, would help strengthen your marriage and family; but we actually have a desire that goes beyond that; that is, you would get in the game\/get mobilized and say: \u201cWe can help other marriages and families. We can help those in our neighborhood, in our church, in our community. We can take the tools FamilyLife has created: we can take some of Ron Deal\u2019s resources and help blended families and stepfamilies in our community; we could take the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, and we could take folks in our neighborhood through that series,\u201d or \u201c\u2026the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> series\u2014take young parents through that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The reason we create these tools is because we are hoping that listeners will go, \u201cWe could do that kind of ministry.\u201d It wouldn\u2019t take long\/doesn\u2019t take a lot of preparation. It just takes availability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019ll discover your own marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014will thrive as you give it away to help others. Just like the woman at the well\u2014she\u2019s running to the town. Let me tell you who got most excited about her faith\u2014she did! Same thing happens in our marriages when we help others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think our marriage has been <em>most<\/em> transformed as we, first, sought God; but secondly, as we began teaching material. At first, we thought, \u201cWe have to get our marriage all together before we can give it away,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014but no. We actually were still broken; and we admitted that to the couples that we were with, saying: \u201cWe need help. We\u2019re looking to God, and we\u2019re wondering if you would go on this journey <em>with<\/em> us as we go through this material.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; so, don\u2019t be thinking, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get everything prettied up in our marriage before we can get involved in ministry.\u201d You can do it today. Your point is right, Dave\u2014it will be, probably, the biggest growth area for you if you\u2019ll just get in the game and reach out and get some others to go along with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can almost guarantee it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>Absolutely<\/em>. I should mention, in addition to the resources that Ron has put together, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> is now available as a DVD series; it is an eight-part series. If you want to take a small group through eight sessions on <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, that resource is available. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> small group series; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. In fact, we\u2019ve got a whole bunch of Ron\u2019s resources listed on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext week, there are going to be hundreds of people joining us in the Tidewater area in Virginia\u2014in Chesapeake, Virginia\u2014in the Norfolk area for the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, where the focus this year is on issues that cause couples and families to go into crisis mode and how the church can come alongside and minister to them. If you\u2019d like more information, there is still a chance for you to register for next week\u2019s event\u2014October 24<sup>th<\/sup> and 25<sup>th<\/sup> at Community Church in Chesapeake, Virginia. Again, all the details are online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like we\u2019ve been talking about lots of resources available, and there are. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about events, and DVD series, and books that can help your family\/your marriage or ways that you can help reach out and help others. The website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and if you\u2019ve got any questions, call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of events, this weekend, we\u2019ve got couples, who are going to be joining us in Augusta, Georgia, and in Parsippany, New Jersey\u2014hundreds of couples, who are spending the weekend with us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. I hope you\u2019ll pray for these couples. Pray that God will work in their lives and in their marriages as they spend time together this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to those of you who make all that we do, here at FamilyLife, possible. These events, this radio program, our website, our resources\u2014you make that possible as you support this ministry, either as monthly Legacy Partner or with an occasional donation in support of the work we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can donate today, we\u2019d love to send you a thank-you gift\u2014a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for partnering with us in the work we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We are grateful for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. We hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to have one of our \u201cAsk Dave and Ann\u201d programs. We had a caller recently, who called in and said: \u201cMy wife has put on a lot of weight, and I\u2019m no longer attracted to her. So, what do I do about that?\u201d We\u2019re going to ask Dave and Ann how they would counsel that husband. Hope you can tune in for that on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:00"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.72M"],"filesize_raw":["25923892"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305441.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305441.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Deal says there's no need to carry around the baggage of your past sins and we should let God deal with it. He talks us through the story of the woman at the well.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, October 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There is good news and there is hope for all of us in broken, imperfect families. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Ron Deal. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We had the experience\u2014Mary Ann and I\u2014when we were raising our kids\u2014there were nights where we would get in the car, and we would be driving to our small group meeting. Some of our listeners have heard me tell this before; but we\u2019d be driving there, thinking, \u201cOkay; our kids are going to be in prison one day or, at least, they are juvenile delinquents. We are failing as parents.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere was the encouragement\u2014when we got to the small group and it was time for sharing and stuff, we were hearing the other families talk about their kids; and we went, \u201cOur kids aren\u2019t so bad after all,\u201d or \u201cAt least, they are on par with the other kids.\u201d We were so encouraged to know that what felt like was only our story\u2014it is going on in <em>every<\/em> household. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and hopefully, you are part of a group that will share that honestly. We have been. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; and it\u2019s so <em>reassuring<\/em>. It\u2019s hopeful; because you feel like, \u201cOkay; they\u2019ve messed up too, but their kids\u201d\u2014it\u2019s helpful to have someone further along so that you can see\u2014\u201ctheir kids survived it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We always picked the group by the families that were more messed up than us, so we would feel a little better when we left that place. [Laughter] We didn\u2019t find too many of those. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of a message today from our friend, Ron Deal, that asks the question, \u201cWhy is it that there are so many dysfunctional family models in the Bible?\u201d You read through the Old Testament\u2014we\u2019ve already heard Ron, this week, talk about how Abraham tried to traffic his wife in Egypt, and how there was the whole mess between Jacob\u2014wanted to marry one woman; he had to marry the other one\u2014so, now, she\u2019s [Leah\u2019s] the unloved wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou go on through the Bible\u2014whether it\u2019s Samson and Delilah\u2014talk about a dysfunctional marriage relationship; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Even David\u2014who we all esteem, and admire, and read his psalms and love\u2014and yet, boy, there was some messed up stuff there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then his son marries 300 women and has 700 concubines, so there is some significant dysfunction\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRon Deal addresses that in the message we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of today. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He is the host of a new podcast called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. You can find out more about his podcast by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and checking out the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Podcast Network. He is the author of the book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, and other books on the subject of blended families and stepfamilies. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I think what he is saying is: \u201cLook at your own family and recognize that you\u2019re just like the people in the Bible,\u201d and \u201cGod was their God, and He is your God; and He is at work in the midst of all of this.\u201d Here is Ron Deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Why in the world would God let <em>this<\/em> be the legacy of His people? Why in the world would He design the family for our benefit and then give us a story of people who can\u2019t do it? Why would He lay out principles for living life, and the blueprints for doing family, and then have <em>nobody<\/em> in His clan\u2014if you\u2019re going to say, \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u201d wouldn\u2019t you kind of like to have examples?\u2014say: \u201cHey, be like Abraham,\u201d \u201cBe like Isaac,\u201d \u201cBe like Jacob\u201d? But who wants to be like that?! It is kind of an important question: \u201cWhy in the world would God do that for us?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got three quick reasons for you. Number one, He wants to humble us; He wants to humble us. He wants to remind us that it is not about our performance, or our power, or our ability to pull it off. How He loves us, how He uses us, and our accessibility to Him and what He will do in our lives has nothing to do with us. We want to believe the good marriage is all within my power: \u201cIf I could just grow up, it\u2019s all going to be fine,\u201d and \u201cGood kids are all within our control.\u201d Self-reliance is the temptation for all of us; it is certainly a temptation for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s when I kind of begin to connect some dots\u2014that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob\u2014that phrase, I don\u2019t think is about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; but I think, maybe, it\u2019s about God; because the second thing God wants to do, after He humbles us, is He wants to use His power to redeem our lives in spite of who we are; and He wants to reveal, through us, His redemptive work in the world. Our imperfections are an opportunity for God to work through us to send a message to everybody else. The story is God\u2019s story not, necessarily, our story. He works <em>through<\/em> us, in spite of us, by His mercy and, then, <em>through<\/em> us by His grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber three, He wants to invite you and me to join Him without fear\/without being anxious over our imperfections\u2014about walking around paranoid: \u201cI\u2019m not good enough,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m here,\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t help other people. I don\u2019t have it all together,\u201d \u201cWho are we to try to offer a class?\u201d \u201cWho are we to stand up and try to represent this marriage and family? Who are we?\u201d See, that anxiety speaks to how much we rely on our own perfection. It speaks to how self-reliant we really\u2014that we really think, at the end of the day, it\u2019s within our control. That anxiety gives us away, and we haven\u2019t learned to lean on God\u2019s grace enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was doing a stepfamily conference one time, and we went to a break. This guy made a beeline up the middle row\/middle aisle, and he came right to me. I remember he had a very intense look on his face. I thought: \u201cI\u2019ve made him mad. He\u2019s going to hit me.\u201d He came right up to me; and he goes, \u201cWhat do I do about the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019?!\u201d I\u2019m looking on his forehead for a big \u201cD\u201d tattooed and a big \u201cR\u201d; of course, there is nothing there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat do I do about the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019?\u201d I said: \u201cDude, you\u2019ve got to give me a little more. What do you mean?\u201d \u201cDivorce and Remarried\u2014it\u2019s right there; it\u2019s tattooed on my forehead. Everywhere I go\u2014when I walk in the church\u2014everybody knows this about me. I left my first wife; I caused a lot of pain to my children. I left the Lord; I ran away from all of that stuff. Then, I finally came back to God; and in the process, now, I\u2019ve fallen in love with another woman. We\u2019ve got a stepfamily. We\u2019re trying to make a good go of this, and we\u2019re here at this conference to try to figure this out; but I\u2019m constantly reminded of my sin. Everything that is going on here is a reminder. I feel like, when I walk in the church, everybody can see the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R,\u2019 and they judge me for it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, I\u2019ll tell you what I said to the guy in just a minute; but before I do that, I just want to ask you, \u201cI\u2019m wondering what tattoos you came in here with today?\u201d You know, maybe, your marriage is struggling; maybe, you are in a hard season right now, and it\u2019s just difficult; maybe, you\u2019re struggling with one of your kids; maybe, your mother is just driving you nuts; you know? Maybe, you come from an abusive home, where the only legacy you grew up with is one of abandonment and irresponsibility. No matter how hard you work at trying to outlive that and outrun that, you just can\u2019t fully escape it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMaybe, you come from a family of chaos and neglect; and maybe, you had an abortion at some point in your lifetime; or you had a child out of wedlock. Maybe, pornography is just haunting you\u2014like you\u2019re working at it, and you\u2019re working at it, and it\u2019s just hard. Maybe\/just maybe, you\u2019re one of those regular families that has bad hair days, and bad parenting days, and difficulty; and you just don\u2019t have it all figured out. No matter what you do, you can\u2019t wipe off the tattoo. What do you do if that is <em>you<\/em>? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at this guy; and I said: \u201cDude, I get it\u2014divorce and remarried. I\u2019m sorry people judge you for it; and by the way, they will\u2014especially Christian folks. They\u2019ll never let you live that down\u2014some of them\u2014and they will treat you differently. I\u2019m sorry about that; but that\u2019s not your God; because you see, in God\u2019s eyes, maybe, the \u2018D\u2019 and the \u2018R\u2019 doesn\u2019t mean \u2018divorced and remarried.\u2019 Maybe, it means \u2018delivered and redeemed.\u2019 Maybe, it\u2019s really not about you, or your past, or your imperfections. Maybe, it has something to do with what God is willing to do, in and through you, in spite of you. Maybe, it\u2019s about His story and not yours.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, that\u2019s the thing that I want us to understand about how God works in the world. What we think is the worst part of us\u2014in the hands of our God\u2014it becomes the best part of us\/becomes our most important tool. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is this other story in the Bible\u2014this one is in the New Testament; although the other families we\u2019ve talked about have been in the Old Testament. In John, Chapter 4, there is this woman, who goes out to a well one day. She is there all by herself. Jesus happens to encounter her at this well, and they have a conversation. We don\u2019t have time to read it all. Jesus engages her in this magical way that only Jesus knows how to do. He is going to engage her around this concept of living water, but she keeps thinking physical water. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says to her, \u201cHey, would you give Me a drink?\u201d\u2014entering into this space of dialogue. She goes: \u201cHey, look, dude\/buddy, You are a Jew; I\u2019m a Samaritan. We\u2019re not supposed to have this conversation. Don\u2019t you remember the rules?\u201d Clearly, she\u2019s not tracking with Him. He tries one more time again\u2014He says, \u201cWell, if you knew who I was, actually, you\u2019d be asking Me for a drink.\u201d She goes: \u201cYou don\u2019t even have a bucket. How in the world are You going to give me water out of this well?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNo; lady, you\u2019re not tracking with Me.\u201d He goes a third time\u2014He says to her, \u201cYou know everyone who drinks this water is going to be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water that I give them will never thirst again.\u201d She goes one more time over into this physical space: \u201cOh my goodness! Sounds great. Would You give me some of that water? I don\u2019t want to have to come out here all the time to get water. I\u2019d love to just stop having to come every day.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLook, lady, you\u2019re not tracking with Me.\u201d So, Jesus does a Jesus thing; and He changes the subject. He goes right to her real thirst\u2014He says, \u201cGo call your husband.\u201d To which she says, \u201cI don\u2019t have one of those.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes; that\u2019s true.\u201d He said, \u201cYou\u2019ve been married five times, and now you are living with a guy.\u201d Then she says: \u201cOh, so, You are a prophet. Only someone like that could know that about me. How in the world do You know this about me?\u201d Now, He\u2019s got her attention. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes Jesus bring up her past in order to make her feel ashamed and make her feel like: \u201cI\u2019m so imperfect. I do not belong here. I should not be having this conversation\u201d? Absolutely not. He uses her past to get her attention about thirst so He can talk to her about what the answer to her thirst is, so He can point her to living water. Now, she\u2019s listening; now, she\u2019s tracking with Him; and now, He can talk to her about eternal things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point in time, He shares the living water with her in which she does what? She drinks; she drinks deep; she drinks it all the way down. How do we know?\u2014because of what happens next. She goes back into town; she goes back into town, and she starts telling everybody: \u201cHey, I met this guy. He\u2019s told me everything I\u2019ve ever done.\u201d They are like: \u201cOh, honey, we know what you\u2019ve been doing. We\u2019ve been talking about you all day. You\u2019re trending on Twitter<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> as a matter of fact. You do know this; right?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s like: \u201cNo; I don\u2019t think you understand. I think the worst part of me is somehow the best part of me now.\u201d How does this happen? She had the audacity to embrace grace, and then she let her story be wrapped into God\u2019s eternal story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is the thing about everybody in this room\u2014we can\u2019t change our story; your past is your past; but in Christ, you can change the story you tell about your story. The meaning of it changes when we wrap it into God\u2019s eternal story. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is not about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It\u2019s about God, and what He is doing in us, in spite of us, and through us\u2014just like He does with this woman. All of a sudden, a less-than-perfect family becomes a less-than-perfect guide that brings about perfect results\u2014people start flocking to Jesus. John goes out of his way to tell us that the people came from town, and many believed in Him\u2014from isolation [for the woman at the well] to impact. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019ve got one last thought about this story. My favorite part of this story\u2014the woman at the well, for me\u2014does anybody happen to know the name of the well? This whole conversation takes place by a well. What\u2019s the name of it? Does anybody remember?\u2014it\u2019s Jacob\u2019s well. \u201cOh, you mean Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?\u201d\u2014absolutely. You want to talk about a monument. This well is sitting on land that Dad gave to his favored son, Joseph. It is a monument to family dysfunction; and 1,000 years before, there was a messed-up family. God said to them: \u201cYour imperfection is really not a problem for Me. It\u2019s okay; I\u2019m going to work through you. I\u2019m going to use you, because it\u2019s about what I\u2019m doing\/about how I\u2019m redeeming your family story.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFast forward a thousand years, and there is another woman with a very dysfunctional, messed up, imperfect life, who encounters the same living God, who says to her: \u201cNot only is your past not a problem for Me. I can do something with this story if you\u2019ll just let Me. Drink the water deeply.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay I suggest to you that we sit here today\u20142,000-some years later, after that story and that occasion\u2014and you and I, everyday, live by wells. You and I are going out into the world. Number one, He wants us to hear, for us, that our past is not a problem for God. He is more than happy to redeem our story, and what we think is the worst part of us can become the best part of us. It can become a tool that we use to go into town and bring other people out to the well to drink deeply from the water. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut He also wants us understanding that we are doing that corporately, as a ministry. That is what FamilyLife seeks to do\u2014is to go to the various wells, where people congregate in this world. Some of them are built around family type; some of them are built around economics; some of them are built around interests; but we want to be able to go into those places and stand there, and meet people with the life that they have, and offer them some living hope based on where they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to give them something practical and something helpful to deal with their real thirst\u2014not only the horizontal, physical thirst that they have in this life\/relational thirst that they have\u2014but ultimately, point them to the eternal thirst and draws them to Jesus so that they will drink well; and they will go back into their corners of the world and bring more people out to Jesus. That\u2019s how this whole ministry\u2019s going to roll; that\u2019s what we\u2019re called to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019ve got to do is just have the <em>audacity<\/em> to embrace grace, to drink deep, to quit worrying about how much we\u2019ve messed up; to just simply say: \u201cGod, I turn it all over to You. Use me in spite of me.\u201d Let\u2019s see what He does. Let\u2019s pray. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLord, I want to thank You for loving us and caring so much and deeply about us that You would be our God\u2014the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and Ron\u2014that you would say: \u201cYour past is not a problem, Ron. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m with you. Let Me redeem the story.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive me deeper faith, God, and trust in You so that I can constantly turn my life over to You. Would You give these people the same?\u2014a trust at a depth, where we just release it\/where we have the audacity to embrace Your grace to become Your tools and instruments for the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pray a blessing over FamilyLife and where we are headed and where we are going. If we\u2019re going in the wrong direction, then tell us; but if not, would You empower us when we discover people sitting by wells? Would You help us to have words that are relevant, and helpful, and practical, and that point them to things that are of ultimate, eternal value for them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank You, God, for the \u201cD\u201d and the \u201cR.\u201d In Your Son\u2019s name we pray. Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: Amen. Well, again, we\u2019ve been listening to a message from Ron Deal, who gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended and who hosts the new <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em> podcast, talking about dysfunction in families and how that\u2019s an opportunity for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019m going to let our listeners in on a little bit of secret here\u2014and maybe, they\u2019ve already figured this out\u2014but here, at FamilyLife, our goal is\u2014not only to effectively develop godly marriages and families\u2014but to really speak to marriages and families as a way to get to the core issues of life\/the spiritual issues of life and help people understand their relationship with God, and what it means to be yielded to Him, and to walk with Him, and to operate in the power of the Holy Spirit. We want people to thrive in every aspect of life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just have found, over my life, that the place where my relationship with God is most often tested\/where it\u2019s most often tested is in my marriage and in my family. If I can get that right, I can probably handle the other stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s interesting what Ron was talking about; you know? The woman at the well\u2014when you go to a marriage conference, or tune into a radio show like this, or a podcast about marriage and family, I think we often think: \u201cI need marriage help,\u201d \u201cI need family help. I\u2019m in trouble.\u201d What we point you to is what Jesus did at the well: \u201cYou want water? You want your marriage fixed? Here\u2019s the answer: living water\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cit\u2019s Jesus.\u201d What Ron was saying there\u2014Jesus is the only One that can deliver and redeem. It isn\u2019t going to be some helpful book on marriage, which is definitely helpful; but you\u2019ve got to go to the source. You\u2019ve got to go vertical\u2014go to Jesus and find life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think some of my sweetest moments, spiritually, have been when I have been so broken and lost in knowing how to make my marriage better and how to be a better parent. That has driven me to my knees: asking God for help, asking Him for wisdom, asking Him to redeem our family, to give us hope. I love the reassurance, just like the woman at the well, that He is always there; and He\u2019s always offering more than what we even hope for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our desire here is that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and all we do, here at FamilyLife, would help strengthen your marriage and family; but we actually have a desire that goes beyond that; that is, you would get in the game\/get mobilized and say: \u201cWe can help other marriages and families. We can help those in our neighborhood, in our church, in our community. We can take the tools FamilyLife has created: we can take some of Ron Deal\u2019s resources and help blended families and stepfamilies in our community; we could take the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, and we could take folks in our neighborhood through that series,\u201d or \u201c\u2026the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> series\u2014take young parents through that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The reason we create these tools is because we are hoping that listeners will go, \u201cWe could do that kind of ministry.\u201d It wouldn\u2019t take long\/doesn\u2019t take a lot of preparation. It just takes availability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019ll discover your own marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014will thrive as you give it away to help others. Just like the woman at the well\u2014she\u2019s running to the town. Let me tell you who got most excited about her faith\u2014she did! Same thing happens in our marriages when we help others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think our marriage has been <em>most<\/em> transformed as we, first, sought God; but secondly, as we began teaching material. At first, we thought, \u201cWe have to get our marriage all together before we can give it away,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014but no. We actually were still broken; and we admitted that to the couples that we were with, saying: \u201cWe need help. We\u2019re looking to God, and we\u2019re wondering if you would go on this journey <em>with<\/em> us as we go through this material.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; so, don\u2019t be thinking, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to get everything prettied up in our marriage before we can get involved in ministry.\u201d You can do it today. Your point is right, Dave\u2014it will be, probably, the biggest growth area for you if you\u2019ll just get in the game and reach out and get some others to go along with you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I can almost guarantee it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>Absolutely<\/em>. I should mention, in addition to the resources that Ron has put together, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> is now available as a DVD series; it is an eight-part series. If you want to take a small group through eight sessions on <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, that resource is available. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can order <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em> small group series; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. In fact, we\u2019ve got a whole bunch of Ron\u2019s resources listed on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext week, there are going to be hundreds of people joining us in the Tidewater area in Virginia\u2014in Chesapeake, Virginia\u2014in the Norfolk area for the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, where the focus this year is on issues that cause couples and families to go into crisis mode and how the church can come alongside and minister to them. If you\u2019d like more information, there is still a chance for you to register for next week\u2019s event\u2014October 24<sup>th<\/sup> and 25<sup>th<\/sup> at Community Church in Chesapeake, Virginia. Again, all the details are online at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like we\u2019ve been talking about lots of resources available, and there are. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about events, and DVD series, and books that can help your family\/your marriage or ways that you can help reach out and help others. The website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and if you\u2019ve got any questions, call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of events, this weekend, we\u2019ve got couples, who are going to be joining us in Augusta, Georgia, and in Parsippany, New Jersey\u2014hundreds of couples, who are spending the weekend with us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways. I hope you\u2019ll pray for these couples. Pray that God will work in their lives and in their marriages as they spend time together this weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to those of you who make all that we do, here at FamilyLife, possible. These events, this radio program, our website, our resources\u2014you make that possible as you support this ministry, either as monthly Legacy Partner or with an occasional donation in support of the work we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can donate today, we\u2019d love to send you a thank-you gift\u2014a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for partnering with us in the work we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We are grateful for you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. We hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to have one of our \u201cAsk Dave and Ann\u201d programs. We had a caller recently, who called in and said: \u201cMy wife has put on a lot of weight, and I\u2019m no longer attracted to her. So, what do I do about that?\u201d We\u2019re going to ask Dave and Ann how they would counsel that husband. Hope you can tune in for that on Monday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305441"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305441"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305441"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305441"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}