{"id":305437,"date":"2019-10-17T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-10-17T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/who-isnt-dysfunctional\/"},"modified":"2019-10-17T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-10-17T10:00:05","slug":"who-isnt-dysfunctional","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-isnt-dysfunctional\/","title":{"rendered":"Who Isn&#8217;t Dysfunctional"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can I share the gospel if my family is a mess? Ron Deal reminds us that most of the families featured in Jesus&#8217; lineage were dysfunctional, so you&#8217;re in good company.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:39","filesize":"24.4M","filesize_raw":"25587781","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,10448,2827,2894],"tags":[4299],"podcast_series":[8310],"cwp_profile":[3300],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305437","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-ministering-to-stepfamilies","category-repentance","category-stepfamily-living","tag-faith","podcast_series-messy-families","cwp_profile-ron-deal","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305437\/who-isnt-dysfunctional","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305437\/who-isnt-dysfunctional","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3waOTtThPu\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-isnt-dysfunctional\/\">Who Isn&#8217;t Dysfunctional<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/who-isnt-dysfunctional\/embed\/#?secret=3waOTtThPu\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Who Isn&#8217;t Dysfunctional&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3waOTtThPu\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. The Bible presents for us a long line of families that don\u2019t measure up; so if you\u2019ve got one that\u2019s like that, you\u2019re not alone. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Ron Deal. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think all of us feel the pressure. Here is how Mary Ann and I have felt this pressure\u2014we\u2019ve been at events, where a family has been introduced. It\u2019s mom and dad, and there are multiple kids\u20145\/6 kids. The whole family gets up on the platform. They are all dressed in kind of matching\u2014like the von Trapp family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014thing, without the lederhosen. The kids all play instruments, and they are all well-groomed and well-behaved. Mary Ann and I have been at these events; and we\u2019ve gone, \u201cHow come our kids\/how come our family doesn\u2019t look like that?\u2014doesn\u2019t act like that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you know when I experience that?\u2014is at Christmastime\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, the pictures? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014when people send\u2014they used to send letters; now, it\u2019s usually just a picture, which is better; but I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget getting one letter. This guy had like five kids, and he\u2019s like, \u201cMy five-year-old read the Bible through this year.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cWe are the rejects of the Christian world!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We actually\u2014I remember getting that one. We had one written and ready to go, and we didn\u2019t even send it. [Laughter] We\u2019re like, \u201cWe\u2019re the loser family.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re going to hear Part One of a message today that reminds us that, if you\u2019re the loser family\u2014like the rest of us\u2014we come from a long line of loser families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re not alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friend, Ron Deal, was speaking at an event, where all three of us were. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He is the author of the book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. He\u2019s probably the best person in America to learn from on issues of blended families\/stepfamilies\u2014relationships in those families. We have him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> regularly; and he has a new podcast, which is called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. You can find out more about that at the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Podcast Network page. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out about Ron\u2019s podcast and other podcasts that we have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe presented a message; and he was talking about the fact that, if you read your Bible carefully and if you get past the airbrushed images of the great heroes of the faith, you see a lot of dysfunction\/a lot of family junk going on. Do you know what I\u2019m talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. That\u2019s one of the reasons I honestly love the Bible, because it is so honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s messy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s not airbrushed at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We thought our listeners should just get some encouragement today from Ron to know: \u201cGuess what? Your messed-up family could qualify for a place in Scripture\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And there\u2019s no perfect family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly. Here is Part One of a message about imperfect families from our friend, Ron Deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a confession to make: It\u2019s intimidating working at FamilyLife. Every day I walk into a building represents, you know, 250\/350 people, who are deeply dedicated to serving marriages and families. Here\u2019s what I know that they don\u2019t know about me. I come from a very imperfect marriage; I have a very imperfect family; I have been less than perfect as a father. My kids have so much to be desired, as far as I\u2019m concerned\u2014there are things we want for them that we don\u2019t see in them yet; right? I know that about me every single day I get up and go into that building. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have any\u2014if you can relate to that at all\u2014the idea that you are an imperfect couple or family, I have good news for you today; because here is what has happened in my journey around that whole concept. I\u2019ve given up on trying to find perfection because I just, one day, stopped and took a look at families in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s start in the beginning; shall we? Adam and Eve have everything perfect, and then they blow it for all of us: \u201cThank you very much.\u201d Not long after that, they start having children. Now, you thought the sibling rivalry was bad in your house! One of theirs ended up dead because, at the hand of the other\u2014conduct disorder is what Abel got at that point\/what Cain got at that point in time\u2014he got diagnosed; right? I mean, this is not a good start to family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Fast forward a little bit into Genesis, you come to this guy named Abraham. God makes a covenant with him. This is kind of a big deal; everybody since then is going to be influenced because of that covenant\u2014that includes you and me. God says, \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u201d more than once throughout the Bible. If you identify yourself with these people\u2014I remember one day, as a young minister, working with families, I remember thinking, \u201cThey must have it all figured out\u201d; but let\u2019s just do a quick survey of that lineage, shall we? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbraham and Sarah have been promised a child, only they haven\u2019t gotten pregnant yet. Sarah is not getting any younger; Abraham is definitely not getting any younger, so one day, she goes to her husband. She says: \u201cI\u2019ve got an idea. I\u2019ve got a maid servant over here. Why don\u2019t you take her and have sex with her\u201d\u2014make her your second wife, so to speak\u2014\u201cand we\u2019ll have a child through her?\u201d Ladies, can any of you imagine pitching that idea? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow does that work out for them? Well, Hagar finally gets pregnant. Sure enough, she gets pregnant. She starts thumbing her nose at Sarah, saying [mockingly], \u201cI can have a baby, and you can\u2019t have one.\u201d It\u2019s on, at that point in time, in that household\u2014do you know what I\u2019m talking about? See, in that day, in the ancient world, the greatest thing a wife could do for her husband was carry on his lineage. To give him a child was one thing; to give him a male child was even better because the family name would be carried forward. Sure enough, Hagar is going to have a boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah doesn\u2019t like this. This is biting her; it was her idea, but she didn\u2019t like the outcome. She goes to her husband\u2014she says, \u201cI want that woman out of here.\u201d She tries to separate them from the family household. Only the Holy Spirit has a plan for her. She\u2019s [Hagar\u2019s] pregnant; [Sarah] sends them out into the wilderness. The Holy Spirit brings her back and says, \u201cNo; no; no; Abraham, you\u2019re going to take care of this because this is your responsibility.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the rivalry is not over within this family. How do we know?\u2014because flip a few chapters forward in Genesis, Chapter 21. We have same song, second verse: now, Sarah <em>is<\/em> pregnant; she does have a child; his name is Isaac. On the day he is being weaned, they throw a little party for him. In comes his older half-brother\u2014starts making fun of Isaac the way that his mom used to make fun of Isaac\u2019s mom. We have same song, second verse. Sarah gets up in arms, runs into Abraham and says, \u201cI want that woman and her son out of here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, notice her language: \u201cI want that woman and <em>her<\/em> son,\u201d\u2014this is not a good tip. If you are a stepmother, don\u2019t try to ever separate your spouse from their kids\u2014it will really wreak all sorts of havoc in your home\u2014but that\u2019s exactly what she does. But Abraham cares for them, and Isaac grows up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, does this rivalry\u2014favoritism, jealousy, insecurity\u2014thing get passed to the next generation? Absolutely, it does. How do we know?\u2014because you just keep reading in the Book of Genesis: \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.\u201d Isaac grows up; marries a woman named Rebekah. They have two kids. What are their names?\u2014[Audience response]\u2014Jacob and Esau. It\u2019s funny that you say it that way, because Esau is the older one. Why would we say Jacob before we say Esau?\u2014why?\u2014because of the story; right? Jacob outsmarts Esau, early on, in their little experience; and he tricks him out of the birthright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLater on, in the family journey, Dad is old. It\u2019s time for Isaac to pass a blessing on to his oldest male son; that is who it always went to, and that would have been Esau. Esau, who is the hunter, goes out. He\u2019s going to kill something and bring it home, cook dinner for Dad; and after dinner, Dad is going to give him the blessing. Now, Dad is kind of old\u2014he can\u2019t see well; he can\u2019t hear very well. While Esau is gone, Mom\/Rebekah comes in to her favorite son, Jacob; she has a plan: \u201cHoney, let\u2019s steal the blessing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, ladies, imagine this one for a minute. She is conspiring, with her youngest son, against both her husband and her older son to steal the blessing. Why?\u2014because Jacob is her favorite. She says: \u201cPut on your brothers clothes; you\u2019ll smell like him. Dad can\u2019t see well. He\u2019s going to feel your arms\u2014put on some goat skin; you\u2019ll feel like your hairy brother. I\u2019ll cook dinner. You feed it to Dad. Quick; hurry up. Let\u2019s do this before your brother comes home.\u201d The plan works; they steal the blessing! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to talk about family dysfunction. This is a <em>mess<\/em>; right? Sure enough, that favoritism\/rivalry thing just continues yet another generation. Esau comes home\u2014finds out the blessing has been given to his brother. He is hopping mad; he wants to get revenge. He wants to kill his brother; right? We\u2019ve got another Cain and Abel situation going on. Jacob runs to Mom and says, \u201cNow, what do I do?\u201d Mom says: \u201cI don\u2019t know. Look, look; go to your Uncle Laban\u2019s house. My brother lives a long ways away from here, and you just run to his house until your brother calms down.\u201d \u201cGreat!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJacob takes off, and he goes to Uncle Laban\u2019s house\u2014starts living there, starts working there, spending time with his uncle and his family, waiting for his brother to calm down so he can go home. It will be years, by the way, before he is ever able to go home. In the meantime, he starts working for Uncle Laban. Uncle Laban comes to him one day and says: \u201cMy, you\u2019re a fine worker. What am I going to pay you for all the stuff you are doing for us around here?\u201d He goes: \u201cWell, as a matter of fact, Uncle Laban, have you noticed your daughter, Rachel? My goodness! She is absolutely <em>gorgeous<\/em>. I think I\u2019d like to marry her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you are doing the math. This is another weird family story in the Bible; he has fallen in love with his cousin. This is Uncle Laban\u2019s daughter. He\u2019s fallen in love with his cousin; he wants to marry his <em>cousin<\/em>: \u201cWell, what do I have to do to win her hand in marriage?\u201d \u201cWork for me seven years, and you can have her hand in marriage.\u201d \u201cAlright; you have a deal.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeven years go by. He goes to his uncle and says, \u201cI\u2019d like to marry Rachel.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re right. It\u2019s time we got a wedding. I promised you that.\u201d They set up the wedding. This is what I call the what-goes-around-comes-around story of the Bible; because Jacob, earlier was the one who stole from his dad and his brother, and now he is going to have the same thing done to him; because Uncle Laban\u2014if you remember this story\u2014sneaks in his oldest daughter, Leah, as the bride of the wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here is the backstory on Leah and Rachel. Rachel is the pretty one. As a matter of fact, about Rachel, the Bible says, \u201cShe was beautiful and lovely in form.\u201d About Leah, the Bible says, \u201cShe had weak eyes.\u201d Rachel\u2014her name is even representative of her beauty\u2014her name means: \u201cewe; lamb; precious, pristine, beautiful lamb.\u201d Leah\u2019s name means \u201ccow.\u201d I am not making this up. Nobody wants to marry the cow; everybody wants to marry the beautiful lamb. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Seven years later, it\u2019s time for a wedding. Uncle Laban sneaks in Leah as the bride, and Jacob marries the wrong woman. He doesn\u2019t know how this happened. How in the world does he marry the wrong person? We don\u2019t know. I think she had a pretty thick veil; that\u2019s the only thing I can figure out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The story gets even better because they go and they consummate the marriage. Back in that day, you had a wedding; you go off to a side room; you consummate the marriage. Everybody is having a party. Then you come back out and join them. Isn\u2019t that kind of weird?\u2014can you imagine doing that? The leaders and the elders of the town would go in and check the bedsheets and make sure there was some evidence that she was a virgin; <em>this<\/em> is accountability. It\u2019s so different for us in our day and time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they go, and they consummate the marriage. He still doesn\u2019t know it\u2019s Leah! How does this happen?! She kept the veil on; alright?\u2014that and a whole lot of alcohol. Jacob has no idea what has just occurred\u2014he\u2019s married the wrong woman, consummated that marriage, and he still doesn\u2019t know until\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014he wakes up, rolls over, and he is lying next to a cow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he realizes, \u201cI\u2019ve been duped!\u201d You can imagine this conversation. He goes to Uncle Laban; and he goes, \u201cHey, what\u2019s the deal?! \u2018Seven years\u2026\u2019\u2014I said\/you said\u2014we had a promise.\u201d \u201cOh, well, I\u2019m sorry. Didn\u2019t I tell you? It\u2019s not our custom, around here, to marry off the younger daughter before we marry off the older daughter. [Using British accent] Tally ho! Good luck with all that,\u201d\u2014I have no idea why Laban sounds British when I do this; I have no clue; it just kind of comes out that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>He married the wrong woman: \u201cWell, what do I have to do to marry Rachel?\u201d \u201cWork for me another seven years, and you can have her.\u201d Can you imagine being Leah throughout all of this? What does she have?\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. Turns out, she has a little bit of God\u2019s grace on her side; because He sees how incredibly difficult her circumstances are. God gives Leah something, and that is the ability to have a child\u2014not just any child; she has a son. She is able to carry forth the family name, and this is going to raise her status in the household. <br><br>God has grace on her, and Leah gets pregnant. She has a boy. She gives him\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014it\u2019s kind of a cool name, I think: Reuben. I don\u2019t know; it\u2019s kind of a neat name\u2014Reuben; yes, it\u2019s an awesome name. What\u2019s it mean?\u2014\u201cMisery.\u201d She named her child \u201cMisery.\u201d She makes the statement, \u201cBecause the Lord has seen my misery, surely my husband will love me now.\u201d Wow! Keep in mind these are God\u2019s people: \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.\u201d Jesus is coming from these folks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLeah gets pregnant <em>again<\/em>. She has a second child; it\u2019s a boy. She gives him the name Simeon, which means one who hears because \u201cThe Lord has heard that I am not loved.\u201d She gets pregnant again; she has a third child. She gives him the name, Levi, which means attached. She makes the statement: \u201cNow, at last, my husband will be attached to me.\u201d I mean is this weird or what? Is this sad? Is this not representative of how incredibly dysfunctional and messed up this family system is? Surely, it\u2019s got to get better. Jesus is coming from these folks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, the story doesn\u2019t get any better if you just keep reading. You guys remember all of this; right? What happens is\u2014in the meantime, Leah is having all these kids; and Rachel, the favored wife, is over here going [Whining]: \u201cI\u2019m the favorite wife. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do. I\u2019ve got to come up with a plan. Wait! I\u2019ve got an idea. I\u2019ve got a maid servant Bilhah. I could give her to my husband, and then she could have a child. I get to name that child. It would kind of be like it\u2019s coming from me\u2014a gift to my husband. I think I\u2019ll try that; yes.\u201d Wait; where did that idea come from?\u2014oh, yes; Grandma did that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, she tries; and Bilhah gets pregnant. That\u2019s wife number three if you are keeping track. Rachel gets to name him. The first child is a boy, Dan, which means \u201cvindication.\u201d She makes the statement: \u201cGod has vindicated me\u201d\u2014implication\u2014\u201cagainst my sister.\u201d Bilhah gets pregnant a second time; Rachel gets to name the next child, \u201cNaphtali,\u201d which means \u201cstruggle.\u201d She makes the statement, \u201cI have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.\u201d Oh, it\u2019s on, girls; do you know what I\u2019m talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot to be outdone, Leah goes: \u201cWait a minute. I\u2019ve got a maidservant, Zilpah. I could give her to my husband.\u201d That would be wife number four, if you are keeping track. \u201cShe could have a child, and I could name that child. Then I could take it up a notch\u201d; and sure enough, that\u2019s what happened. She gets pregnant, and Leah gets to name him. The first one is named Gad, which means \u201cgood fortune\u201d because she\u2019s finally had some good fortune. So, then Leah has another child through Zilpah; and that\u2019s Asher, and that means \u201chappy\u201d because clearly she\u2019s <em>not<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tABC has nothing on these people; these are the original <em>Desperate Housewives<\/em>. It\u2019s in the Bible, for crying out loud. \u201cI\u2019m the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob\u201d\u2014and that mess. Why in the world?\u2014that is a crazy <em>mess<\/em>. You\u2019re thinking, \u201cWell, surely, the family has got to get better at some point\u201d; right? I don\u2019t think so; because after all of these kids, the rivalry is still going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRachel still hasn\u2019t had any children of her own until the day comes that she gets pregnant, and the favored wife gets to give her husband a favored child. His name is Joseph. He never has to take out the trash, never has to mow the yard, or empty the stalls. All the other brothers have to do that kind of stuff. He grows up in a home, where he is favored. The differences within that family\u2014you want to talk about a multi-generational messed-up wide and tall blended family? There is one right there in the middle of Scripture, and he is living the pristine life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen one day he comes home with a coat, and that\u2019s it\u2014final straw: \u201cHe\u2019s dead,\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re done.\u201d They didn\u2019t kill him because of a coat. That was just the final straw in the process of watching this, day in and day out, in their family household; and they were finally done. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019ve got a better idea. Let\u2019s not kill him; let\u2019s just sell him into slavery. They\u2019ll use him up and spit him out for 80 years; and then they\u2019ll kill him when it\u2019s all said and done,\u201d\u2014because that\u2019s what they do to people during that time\/that\u2019s what they do to slaves\u2014\u201cThat\u2019s it; that\u2019s our plan. In the meantime, we get to go tell Dad that he is dead, and we get to laugh behind Dad\u2019s back.\u201d <em>This<\/em> is the family of promise; <em>these<\/em> are Jesus\u2019s ancestors: \u201cAre you kidding me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just keeping turning in the pages of your Bible throughout the Old Testament. You never find a perfect family. You never find a family that has it all figured out\u2014as husbands or wives, or parents, or kids\u2014all those relationships. We get to this guy named David, who God says \u201cis a man after My own heart.\u201d We\u2019ve heard that phrase: \u201cA man after my own heart\u201d; but do you realize God made the statement about David? It was God who said that about him. Now, if that\u2019s not a compliment, I don\u2019t know what is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut even though he was a man after God\u2019s own heart, his household included what?\u2014a premeditated murder to cover an affair, an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and then the child dies as a result of the consequence of David\u2019s sin. Only to have another one of his children say: \u201cWell, Dad was sexually-disgraceful. I guess I can be sexually-disgraceful\u201d; so he takes one of his half-sisters and rapes her. Then he has a half-brother hunt him down and revenge his sister and kill him. That\u2019s David\u2019s household. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuick question for you: \u201cAre you feeling any better about your home right about now? [Laughter] Did you walk in here going: \u2018Man, we are a mess. I sure hope these don\u2019t know about me what I know about me. Well, at least, we ain\u2019t <em>that\u2019<\/em>\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of this begs a really important question in my mind; and that is simply this: \u201cWhy in the world would God let this be the legacy of His people? Why in the world would He design the family for our benefit and then give us a story of people who can\u2019t do it? Why would He lay out principles for living life, and the blueprints for doing family, and then have <em>nobody<\/em> in his clan?\u2014if you\u2019re going to say, \u2018I\u2019m the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u2019 would you kind of like to have examples?\u2014\u2018Hey, be like Abraham,\u2019 \u2018Be like Isaac,\u2019 \u2018Be like Jacob\u201d; but who wants to be like that?! It is kind of an important question: \u2018Why in the world would God do that for us?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I hate to leave it with that question hanging; but we\u2019ve been listening to Part One of a message from our friend, Ron Deal, who gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended. It is a good question: \u201cWhy does God paint a portrait for us of so much family dysfunction throughout the Bible? Should that cause us to feel hopeless or encouraged?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014it causes me to feel hopeful. I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014when I read through the Bible, one of the first times, I was <em>shocked<\/em>. I thought it was a book of perfect people. I\u2019m like: \u201cOh my goodness! These people are really, really messed up.\u201d It gave me comfort like, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m not as bad as I thought I was.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love the fact that there is a commonality in all of the characters that Ron talked about, and that is they messed up; but they always went back to God. I can\u2019t wait to hear the rest of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; well, we will hear Part Two of this message tomorrow. I want to make sure our listeners know\u2014if you are in a blended family, Ron\u2019s got resources\u2014<em>a lot<\/em> of resources\u2014including his book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, that is also now available in an eight-part DVD small group series that you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, get with some other stepfamilies, and go through this material, using the DVD series. Get a copy of his book\/all of the resources available\u2014you can check them out, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, next week, Ron is leading an event in the Tidewater area\/in the Norfolk area in Virginia\u2014the 2019 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. Darryl and Gwen Smith; Michelle Cushatt; Pastor Ben Young from Second Baptist in Houston; and many others, who are going to be at that event\u2014all designed to help church leaders and volunteers, who are working with stepfamilies know how to help those families when they are in crisis. Find out more about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. If you live in that area, and you can be with us October 24<sup>th<\/sup> and 25<sup>th<\/sup>, we\u2019d love to have you come. The information is available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I sometimes wish that those of you, who are supporters of this ministry\u2014those of you who, not only listen to this program, but help make this program possible for others through your donations\u2014I wish you could come and spend a morning, sitting in our call center and taking phone calls from listeners, like you, who are calling, not just to request resources, but to talk about how God has used this ministry in their lives. <br><br>I wish you could sit in the correspondence area, with the people who are getting the letters that are sent to us, or I wish you could interact with people at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways\/the events that we host. Every time, I have the opportunity to do that, I\u2019m reminded again that God\u2019s Word is powerful and that, as we are faithful to share it, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, God is using it in some pretty remarkable ways in people\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I\u2019m always astounded when I talk to people, who say: \u201cI had this specific issue going on in my life. I got in my car, and I turned on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and that\u2019s what you were talking about that day.\u201d I go, \u201cWe can\u2019t engineer that, but the Holy Spirit can.\u201d I say all of that just to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are helping us expand the reach of FamilyLife through our daily radio program, our website, our events, our resources\u2014all that we do to try to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We appreciate your partnership in expanding the reach of this ministry every time you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation today, so that we can continue to expand that reach, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation or when you call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d You can make a donation over the phone, and we are grateful for your financial support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll hear Part Two of Ron Deal\u2019s message on messy families. That includes all of ours, so I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:26:39"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.4M"],"filesize_raw":["25587781"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305437.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305437.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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can I share the gospel if my family is a mess? Ron Deal reminds us that most of the families featured in Jesus' lineage were dysfunctional, so you're in good company.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. The Bible presents for us a long line of families that don\u2019t measure up; so if you\u2019ve got one that\u2019s like that, you\u2019re not alone. We\u2019ll hear more about that today from Ron Deal. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. I think all of us feel the pressure. Here is how Mary Ann and I have felt this pressure\u2014we\u2019ve been at events, where a family has been introduced. It\u2019s mom and dad, and there are multiple kids\u20145\/6 kids. The whole family gets up on the platform. They are all dressed in kind of matching\u2014like the von Trapp family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014thing, without the lederhosen. The kids all play instruments, and they are all well-groomed and well-behaved. Mary Ann and I have been at these events; and we\u2019ve gone, \u201cHow come our kids\/how come our family doesn\u2019t look like that?\u2014doesn\u2019t act like that?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do you know when I experience that?\u2014is at Christmastime\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, the pictures? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014when people send\u2014they used to send letters; now, it\u2019s usually just a picture, which is better; but I\u2019ll <em>never<\/em> forget getting one letter. This guy had like five kids, and he\u2019s like, \u201cMy five-year-old read the Bible through this year.\u201d [Laughter] I\u2019m like, \u201cWe are the rejects of the Christian world!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We actually\u2014I remember getting that one. We had one written and ready to go, and we didn\u2019t even send it. [Laughter] We\u2019re like, \u201cWe\u2019re the loser family.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019re going to hear Part One of a message today that reminds us that, if you\u2019re the loser family\u2014like the rest of us\u2014we come from a long line of loser families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You\u2019re not alone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friend, Ron Deal, was speaking at an event, where all three of us were. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. He is the author of the book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>. He\u2019s probably the best person in America to learn from on issues of blended families\/stepfamilies\u2014relationships in those families. We have him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> regularly; and he has a new podcast, which is called <em>FamilyLife Blended<\/em>. You can find out more about that at the FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Podcast Network page. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out about Ron\u2019s podcast and other podcasts that we have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe presented a message; and he was talking about the fact that, if you read your Bible carefully and if you get past the airbrushed images of the great heroes of the faith, you see a lot of dysfunction\/a lot of family junk going on. Do you know what I\u2019m talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, yes. That\u2019s one of the reasons I honestly love the Bible, because it is so honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s messy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s not airbrushed at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We thought our listeners should just get some encouragement today from Ron to know: \u201cGuess what? Your messed-up family could qualify for a place in Scripture\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And there\u2019s no perfect family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Exactly. Here is Part One of a message about imperfect families from our friend, Ron Deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got a confession to make: It\u2019s intimidating working at FamilyLife. Every day I walk into a building represents, you know, 250\/350 people, who are deeply dedicated to serving marriages and families. Here\u2019s what I know that they don\u2019t know about me. I come from a very imperfect marriage; I have a very imperfect family; I have been less than perfect as a father. My kids have so much to be desired, as far as I\u2019m concerned\u2014there are things we want for them that we don\u2019t see in them yet; right? I know that about me every single day I get up and go into that building. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you have any\u2014if you can relate to that at all\u2014the idea that you are an imperfect couple or family, I have good news for you today; because here is what has happened in my journey around that whole concept. I\u2019ve given up on trying to find perfection because I just, one day, stopped and took a look at families in the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s start in the beginning; shall we? Adam and Eve have everything perfect, and then they blow it for all of us: \u201cThank you very much.\u201d Not long after that, they start having children. Now, you thought the sibling rivalry was bad in your house! One of theirs ended up dead because, at the hand of the other\u2014conduct disorder is what Abel got at that point\/what Cain got at that point in time\u2014he got diagnosed; right? I mean, this is not a good start to family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Fast forward a little bit into Genesis, you come to this guy named Abraham. God makes a covenant with him. This is kind of a big deal; everybody since then is going to be influenced because of that covenant\u2014that includes you and me. God says, \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u201d more than once throughout the Bible. If you identify yourself with these people\u2014I remember one day, as a young minister, working with families, I remember thinking, \u201cThey must have it all figured out\u201d; but let\u2019s just do a quick survey of that lineage, shall we? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbraham and Sarah have been promised a child, only they haven\u2019t gotten pregnant yet. Sarah is not getting any younger; Abraham is definitely not getting any younger, so one day, she goes to her husband. She says: \u201cI\u2019ve got an idea. I\u2019ve got a maid servant over here. Why don\u2019t you take her and have sex with her\u201d\u2014make her your second wife, so to speak\u2014\u201cand we\u2019ll have a child through her?\u201d Ladies, can any of you imagine pitching that idea? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow does that work out for them? Well, Hagar finally gets pregnant. Sure enough, she gets pregnant. She starts thumbing her nose at Sarah, saying [mockingly], \u201cI can have a baby, and you can\u2019t have one.\u201d It\u2019s on, at that point in time, in that household\u2014do you know what I\u2019m talking about? See, in that day, in the ancient world, the greatest thing a wife could do for her husband was carry on his lineage. To give him a child was one thing; to give him a male child was even better because the family name would be carried forward. Sure enough, Hagar is going to have a boy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSarah doesn\u2019t like this. This is biting her; it was her idea, but she didn\u2019t like the outcome. She goes to her husband\u2014she says, \u201cI want that woman out of here.\u201d She tries to separate them from the family household. Only the Holy Spirit has a plan for her. She\u2019s [Hagar\u2019s] pregnant; [Sarah] sends them out into the wilderness. The Holy Spirit brings her back and says, \u201cNo; no; no; Abraham, you\u2019re going to take care of this because this is your responsibility.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the rivalry is not over within this family. How do we know?\u2014because flip a few chapters forward in Genesis, Chapter 21. We have same song, second verse: now, Sarah <em>is<\/em> pregnant; she does have a child; his name is Isaac. On the day he is being weaned, they throw a little party for him. In comes his older half-brother\u2014starts making fun of Isaac the way that his mom used to make fun of Isaac\u2019s mom. We have same song, second verse. Sarah gets up in arms, runs into Abraham and says, \u201cI want that woman and her son out of here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, notice her language: \u201cI want that woman and <em>her<\/em> son,\u201d\u2014this is not a good tip. If you are a stepmother, don\u2019t try to ever separate your spouse from their kids\u2014it will really wreak all sorts of havoc in your home\u2014but that\u2019s exactly what she does. But Abraham cares for them, and Isaac grows up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, does this rivalry\u2014favoritism, jealousy, insecurity\u2014thing get passed to the next generation? Absolutely, it does. How do we know?\u2014because you just keep reading in the Book of Genesis: \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.\u201d Isaac grows up; marries a woman named Rebekah. They have two kids. What are their names?\u2014[Audience response]\u2014Jacob and Esau. It\u2019s funny that you say it that way, because Esau is the older one. Why would we say Jacob before we say Esau?\u2014why?\u2014because of the story; right? Jacob outsmarts Esau, early on, in their little experience; and he tricks him out of the birthright. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLater on, in the family journey, Dad is old. It\u2019s time for Isaac to pass a blessing on to his oldest male son; that is who it always went to, and that would have been Esau. Esau, who is the hunter, goes out. He\u2019s going to kill something and bring it home, cook dinner for Dad; and after dinner, Dad is going to give him the blessing. Now, Dad is kind of old\u2014he can\u2019t see well; he can\u2019t hear very well. While Esau is gone, Mom\/Rebekah comes in to her favorite son, Jacob; she has a plan: \u201cHoney, let\u2019s steal the blessing.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, ladies, imagine this one for a minute. She is conspiring, with her youngest son, against both her husband and her older son to steal the blessing. Why?\u2014because Jacob is her favorite. She says: \u201cPut on your brothers clothes; you\u2019ll smell like him. Dad can\u2019t see well. He\u2019s going to feel your arms\u2014put on some goat skin; you\u2019ll feel like your hairy brother. I\u2019ll cook dinner. You feed it to Dad. Quick; hurry up. Let\u2019s do this before your brother comes home.\u201d The plan works; they steal the blessing! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to talk about family dysfunction. This is a <em>mess<\/em>; right? Sure enough, that favoritism\/rivalry thing just continues yet another generation. Esau comes home\u2014finds out the blessing has been given to his brother. He is hopping mad; he wants to get revenge. He wants to kill his brother; right? We\u2019ve got another Cain and Abel situation going on. Jacob runs to Mom and says, \u201cNow, what do I do?\u201d Mom says: \u201cI don\u2019t know. Look, look; go to your Uncle Laban\u2019s house. My brother lives a long ways away from here, and you just run to his house until your brother calms down.\u201d \u201cGreat!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJacob takes off, and he goes to Uncle Laban\u2019s house\u2014starts living there, starts working there, spending time with his uncle and his family, waiting for his brother to calm down so he can go home. It will be years, by the way, before he is ever able to go home. In the meantime, he starts working for Uncle Laban. Uncle Laban comes to him one day and says: \u201cMy, you\u2019re a fine worker. What am I going to pay you for all the stuff you are doing for us around here?\u201d He goes: \u201cWell, as a matter of fact, Uncle Laban, have you noticed your daughter, Rachel? My goodness! She is absolutely <em>gorgeous<\/em>. I think I\u2019d like to marry her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some of you are doing the math. This is another weird family story in the Bible; he has fallen in love with his cousin. This is Uncle Laban\u2019s daughter. He\u2019s fallen in love with his cousin; he wants to marry his <em>cousin<\/em>: \u201cWell, what do I have to do to win her hand in marriage?\u201d \u201cWork for me seven years, and you can have her hand in marriage.\u201d \u201cAlright; you have a deal.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeven years go by. He goes to his uncle and says, \u201cI\u2019d like to marry Rachel.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re right. It\u2019s time we got a wedding. I promised you that.\u201d They set up the wedding. This is what I call the what-goes-around-comes-around story of the Bible; because Jacob, earlier was the one who stole from his dad and his brother, and now he is going to have the same thing done to him; because Uncle Laban\u2014if you remember this story\u2014sneaks in his oldest daughter, Leah, as the bride of the wedding. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, here is the backstory on Leah and Rachel. Rachel is the pretty one. As a matter of fact, about Rachel, the Bible says, \u201cShe was beautiful and lovely in form.\u201d About Leah, the Bible says, \u201cShe had weak eyes.\u201d Rachel\u2014her name is even representative of her beauty\u2014her name means: \u201cewe; lamb; precious, pristine, beautiful lamb.\u201d Leah\u2019s name means \u201ccow.\u201d I am not making this up. Nobody wants to marry the cow; everybody wants to marry the beautiful lamb. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Seven years later, it\u2019s time for a wedding. Uncle Laban sneaks in Leah as the bride, and Jacob marries the wrong woman. He doesn\u2019t know how this happened. How in the world does he marry the wrong person? We don\u2019t know. I think she had a pretty thick veil; that\u2019s the only thing I can figure out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The story gets even better because they go and they consummate the marriage. Back in that day, you had a wedding; you go off to a side room; you consummate the marriage. Everybody is having a party. Then you come back out and join them. Isn\u2019t that kind of weird?\u2014can you imagine doing that? The leaders and the elders of the town would go in and check the bedsheets and make sure there was some evidence that she was a virgin; <em>this<\/em> is accountability. It\u2019s so different for us in our day and time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they go, and they consummate the marriage. He still doesn\u2019t know it\u2019s Leah! How does this happen?! She kept the veil on; alright?\u2014that and a whole lot of alcohol. Jacob has no idea what has just occurred\u2014he\u2019s married the wrong woman, consummated that marriage, and he still doesn\u2019t know until\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014he wakes up, rolls over, and he is lying next to a cow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he realizes, \u201cI\u2019ve been duped!\u201d You can imagine this conversation. He goes to Uncle Laban; and he goes, \u201cHey, what\u2019s the deal?! \u2018Seven years\u2026\u2019\u2014I said\/you said\u2014we had a promise.\u201d \u201cOh, well, I\u2019m sorry. Didn\u2019t I tell you? It\u2019s not our custom, around here, to marry off the younger daughter before we marry off the older daughter. [Using British accent] Tally ho! Good luck with all that,\u201d\u2014I have no idea why Laban sounds British when I do this; I have no clue; it just kind of comes out that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>He married the wrong woman: \u201cWell, what do I have to do to marry Rachel?\u201d \u201cWork for me another seven years, and you can have her.\u201d Can you imagine being Leah throughout all of this? What does she have?\u2014<em>nothing<\/em>. Turns out, she has a little bit of God\u2019s grace on her side; because He sees how incredibly difficult her circumstances are. God gives Leah something, and that is the ability to have a child\u2014not just any child; she has a son. She is able to carry forth the family name, and this is going to raise her status in the household. <br><br>God has grace on her, and Leah gets pregnant. She has a boy. She gives him\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014it\u2019s kind of a cool name, I think: Reuben. I don\u2019t know; it\u2019s kind of a neat name\u2014Reuben; yes, it\u2019s an awesome name. What\u2019s it mean?\u2014\u201cMisery.\u201d She named her child \u201cMisery.\u201d She makes the statement, \u201cBecause the Lord has seen my misery, surely my husband will love me now.\u201d Wow! Keep in mind these are God\u2019s people: \u201cI am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.\u201d Jesus is coming from these folks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLeah gets pregnant <em>again<\/em>. She has a second child; it\u2019s a boy. She gives him the name Simeon, which means one who hears because \u201cThe Lord has heard that I am not loved.\u201d She gets pregnant again; she has a third child. She gives him the name, Levi, which means attached. She makes the statement: \u201cNow, at last, my husband will be attached to me.\u201d I mean is this weird or what? Is this sad? Is this not representative of how incredibly dysfunctional and messed up this family system is? Surely, it\u2019s got to get better. Jesus is coming from these folks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, the story doesn\u2019t get any better if you just keep reading. You guys remember all of this; right? What happens is\u2014in the meantime, Leah is having all these kids; and Rachel, the favored wife, is over here going [Whining]: \u201cI\u2019m the favorite wife. I don\u2019t know what I\u2019m going to do. I\u2019ve got to come up with a plan. Wait! I\u2019ve got an idea. I\u2019ve got a maid servant Bilhah. I could give her to my husband, and then she could have a child. I get to name that child. It would kind of be like it\u2019s coming from me\u2014a gift to my husband. I think I\u2019ll try that; yes.\u201d Wait; where did that idea come from?\u2014oh, yes; Grandma did that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSure enough, she tries; and Bilhah gets pregnant. That\u2019s wife number three if you are keeping track. Rachel gets to name him. The first child is a boy, Dan, which means \u201cvindication.\u201d She makes the statement: \u201cGod has vindicated me\u201d\u2014implication\u2014\u201cagainst my sister.\u201d Bilhah gets pregnant a second time; Rachel gets to name the next child, \u201cNaphtali,\u201d which means \u201cstruggle.\u201d She makes the statement, \u201cI have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.\u201d Oh, it\u2019s on, girls; do you know what I\u2019m talking about? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot to be outdone, Leah goes: \u201cWait a minute. I\u2019ve got a maidservant, Zilpah. I could give her to my husband.\u201d That would be wife number four, if you are keeping track. \u201cShe could have a child, and I could name that child. Then I could take it up a notch\u201d; and sure enough, that\u2019s what happened. She gets pregnant, and Leah gets to name him. The first one is named Gad, which means \u201cgood fortune\u201d because she\u2019s finally had some good fortune. So, then Leah has another child through Zilpah; and that\u2019s Asher, and that means \u201chappy\u201d because clearly she\u2019s <em>not<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tABC has nothing on these people; these are the original <em>Desperate Housewives<\/em>. It\u2019s in the Bible, for crying out loud. \u201cI\u2019m the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob\u201d\u2014and that mess. Why in the world?\u2014that is a crazy <em>mess<\/em>. You\u2019re thinking, \u201cWell, surely, the family has got to get better at some point\u201d; right? I don\u2019t think so; because after all of these kids, the rivalry is still going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRachel still hasn\u2019t had any children of her own until the day comes that she gets pregnant, and the favored wife gets to give her husband a favored child. His name is Joseph. He never has to take out the trash, never has to mow the yard, or empty the stalls. All the other brothers have to do that kind of stuff. He grows up in a home, where he is favored. The differences within that family\u2014you want to talk about a multi-generational messed-up wide and tall blended family? There is one right there in the middle of Scripture, and he is living the pristine life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen one day he comes home with a coat, and that\u2019s it\u2014final straw: \u201cHe\u2019s dead,\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re done.\u201d They didn\u2019t kill him because of a coat. That was just the final straw in the process of watching this, day in and day out, in their family household; and they were finally done. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019ve got a better idea. Let\u2019s not kill him; let\u2019s just sell him into slavery. They\u2019ll use him up and spit him out for 80 years; and then they\u2019ll kill him when it\u2019s all said and done,\u201d\u2014because that\u2019s what they do to people during that time\/that\u2019s what they do to slaves\u2014\u201cThat\u2019s it; that\u2019s our plan. In the meantime, we get to go tell Dad that he is dead, and we get to laugh behind Dad\u2019s back.\u201d <em>This<\/em> is the family of promise; <em>these<\/em> are Jesus\u2019s ancestors: \u201cAre you kidding me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just keeping turning in the pages of your Bible throughout the Old Testament. You never find a perfect family. You never find a family that has it all figured out\u2014as husbands or wives, or parents, or kids\u2014all those relationships. We get to this guy named David, who God says \u201cis a man after My own heart.\u201d We\u2019ve heard that phrase: \u201cA man after my own heart\u201d; but do you realize God made the statement about David? It was God who said that about him. Now, if that\u2019s not a compliment, I don\u2019t know what is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut even though he was a man after God\u2019s own heart, his household included what?\u2014a premeditated murder to cover an affair, an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and then the child dies as a result of the consequence of David\u2019s sin. Only to have another one of his children say: \u201cWell, Dad was sexually-disgraceful. I guess I can be sexually-disgraceful\u201d; so he takes one of his half-sisters and rapes her. Then he has a half-brother hunt him down and revenge his sister and kill him. That\u2019s David\u2019s household. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuick question for you: \u201cAre you feeling any better about your home right about now? [Laughter] Did you walk in here going: \u2018Man, we are a mess. I sure hope these don\u2019t know about me what I know about me. Well, at least, we ain\u2019t <em>that\u2019<\/em>\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of this begs a really important question in my mind; and that is simply this: \u201cWhy in the world would God let this be the legacy of His people? Why in the world would He design the family for our benefit and then give us a story of people who can\u2019t do it? Why would He lay out principles for living life, and the blueprints for doing family, and then have <em>nobody<\/em> in his clan?\u2014if you\u2019re going to say, \u2018I\u2019m the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,\u2019 would you kind of like to have examples?\u2014\u2018Hey, be like Abraham,\u2019 \u2018Be like Isaac,\u2019 \u2018Be like Jacob\u201d; but who wants to be like that?! It is kind of an important question: \u2018Why in the world would God do that for us?\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, I hate to leave it with that question hanging; but we\u2019ve been listening to Part One of a message from our friend, Ron Deal, who gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended. It is a good question: \u201cWhy does God paint a portrait for us of so much family dysfunction throughout the Bible? Should that cause us to feel hopeless or encouraged?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019ll tell you\u2014it causes me to feel hopeful. I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014when I read through the Bible, one of the first times, I was <em>shocked<\/em>. I thought it was a book of perfect people. I\u2019m like: \u201cOh my goodness! These people are really, really messed up.\u201d It gave me comfort like, \u201cOkay; I\u2019m not as bad as I thought I was.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love the fact that there is a commonality in all of the characters that Ron talked about, and that is they messed up; but they always went back to God. I can\u2019t wait to hear the rest of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; well, we will hear Part Two of this message tomorrow. I want to make sure our listeners know\u2014if you are in a blended family, Ron\u2019s got resources\u2014<em>a lot<\/em> of resources\u2014including his book, <em>The Smart Stepfamily<\/em>, that is also now available in an eight-part DVD small group series that you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, get with some other stepfamilies, and go through this material, using the DVD series. Get a copy of his book\/all of the resources available\u2014you can check them out, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, next week, Ron is leading an event in the Tidewater area\/in the Norfolk area in Virginia\u2014the 2019 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. Darryl and Gwen Smith; Michelle Cushatt; Pastor Ben Young from Second Baptist in Houston; and many others, who are going to be at that event\u2014all designed to help church leaders and volunteers, who are working with stepfamilies know how to help those families when they are in crisis. Find out more about the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry. If you live in that area, and you can be with us October 24<sup>th<\/sup> and 25<sup>th<\/sup>, we\u2019d love to have you come. The information is available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I sometimes wish that those of you, who are supporters of this ministry\u2014those of you who, not only listen to this program, but help make this program possible for others through your donations\u2014I wish you could come and spend a morning, sitting in our call center and taking phone calls from listeners, like you, who are calling, not just to request resources, but to talk about how God has used this ministry in their lives. <br><br>I wish you could sit in the correspondence area, with the people who are getting the letters that are sent to us, or I wish you could interact with people at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> getaways\/the events that we host. Every time, I have the opportunity to do that, I\u2019m reminded again that God\u2019s Word is powerful and that, as we are faithful to share it, here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, God is using it in some pretty remarkable ways in people\u2019s lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019ve got to tell you\u2014I\u2019m always astounded when I talk to people, who say: \u201cI had this specific issue going on in my life. I got in my car, and I turned on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and that\u2019s what you were talking about that day.\u201d I go, \u201cWe can\u2019t engineer that, but the Holy Spirit can.\u201d I say all of that just to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are helping us expand the reach of FamilyLife through our daily radio program, our website, our events, our resources\u2014all that we do to try to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We appreciate your partnership in expanding the reach of this ministry every time you make a donation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation today, so that we can continue to expand that reach, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation or when you call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d You can make a donation over the phone, and we are grateful for your financial support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ll hear Part Two of Ron Deal\u2019s message on messy families. That includes all of ours, so I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305437"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305437"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305437"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305437"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}