{"id":305427,"date":"2019-10-11T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-10-11T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift\/"},"modified":"2019-10-11T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-10-11T10:00:04","slug":"understanding-the-adolescent-shift","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding the Adolescent Shift"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mike Berry explains the shift that happens to kids as they move into adolescence and parents become seemingly secondary to their child&#8217;s friends. Berry encourages parents to stay engaged and involved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-11.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:29","filesize":"25.16M","filesize_raw":"26386327","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2841,2090],"tags":[2209],"podcast_series":[8308],"cwp_profile":[9533],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305427","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-special-needs-child","tag-parenting","podcast_series-winning-the-heart-of-your-child","cwp_profile-mike-berry","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305427\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305427\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lqSjdCFfAF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift\/\">Understanding the Adolescent Shift<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-adolescent-shift\/embed\/#?secret=lqSjdCFfAF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Understanding the Adolescent Shift&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lqSjdCFfAF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Mike Berry explains the shift that happens to kids as they move into adolescence and parents become seemingly secondary to their child's friends. Berry encourages parents to stay engaged and involved.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, October 11<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Moms and dads, who don\u2019t learn how to let out the leash a little bit when their kids hit the teen years\u2014it can wind up poisoning the relationship they have with their children. We\u2019re going to talk more about that with Mike Berry today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re talking, this week, about something that\u2014this is kind of a passion point for you guys. As parents, you were all about wanting to make sure you were heart-connected with your kids; weren\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Of course; and part of that passion for me was I didn\u2019t really have that with my dad. I don\u2019t think I had it with my mom\u2014single mom\u2014amazing, amazing woman; but now, I\u2019m a dad, and I didn\u2019t have it. I\u2019m almost like zealous about: \u201cHow do I do this with my sons that, when they are adult men, we will have a friend-to-friend\/adult-adult friendship?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ann, this was kind of natural gear for you; right?\u2014to pursue your kids at a heart level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It was; but I wasn\u2019t sure how to get there. I don\u2019t think I was very good at it at the beginning. I think I was much more rule centered, which is important; it\u2019s necessary\u2014we\u2019ve already talked about having boundaries\u2014but I didn\u2019t know much about getting to the heart of our kids. I do remember, as they became teenagers, I was in a panic because there wasn\u2019t a lot out there written about how to do this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s true; and a lot of teenagers\u2014about the time they turn 12 or 13\u2014it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve gotten all I need from you guys except allowance.\u201d They start to unplug, relationally, from Mom and Dad and start to plug into their peer group for where they are going to get life from. Moms and dads have got to come back around and say: \u201cNo, no, no; we\u2019re not plugging in over there. You\u2019re going to stay plugged in over here.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got Mike Berry joining us, again, today. Mike has written a book called <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child<\/em>. Mike, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mike:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mike lives in the Indianapolis area. He and his wife are the parents of eight adopted kids. Your kind of full-time ministry is helping parents in the foster and adoption process deal with some of the significant issues that can come up. You do one-on-one counseling with parents who need help\u2014you speak on this; you\u2019ve written on this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIs there a connection between what you\u2019re doing, as an adoptive parent, and what\u2019s at the heart of\u2014pardon the pun\u2014winning the heart of your child here? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. You know, I think for foster\/adoptive parents, in particular, when we talk about influence\u2014and that you have influence, as a parent, and to understand that and leverage it\u2014can build that positive relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven for some of the foster and adoptive parents\u2014who have bought this book already and who are connected\u2014they were part of our launch team and all that. We are still getting these messages, like, \u201cMan, I don\u2019t feel like I have <em>any<\/em> influence in my child\u2019s life.\u201d That\u2019s because they are dealing with major special needs; and while this book was written to parents in general, there is a special message for foster\/adoptive parents that: \u201cYou have massive influence over your child\u2019s life.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What Ann was talking about\u2014that transition from what we used to call the golden years, where the kids still come and jump in your lap and say, \u201cI love you, Mommy,\u201d and they just cuddle with you\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I remember when one of our kids would want me to lay in their bed to read to them\u2014we always did that every night with our boys\u2014pray with them. One would always say: \u201cPlease get under the covers\u2014just get under the covers and be here. Just lay with me for a little while.\u201d You know, I\u2019d be like, \u201cOh, I don\u2019t have time\u201d; but you know, I\u2019m going to do that, of course! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Then, one day, I started getting under the covers after we read and prayed; and he goes, \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I said, \u201cI was getting under the covers.\u201d He goes: \u201cWhy? Get out of here, Mom!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what he said. I went out, and I was like crying\u2014like: \u201cIt\u2019s over. The golden years are over!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You call this \u201cthe shift\u201d in your book; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I call it \u201cthe shift\u201d; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, explain the shift. What\u2019s going on with the shift? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> So, you know, when your children are in their early childhood phase\u2014their birth all the way through, I would say, to about ten\/eleven years old\u2014maybe, you get to twelve years old. Like, we have a twelve-year-old, who would still say, \u201cGet under the covers with us\u201d; you know? We\u2019re seizing that moment right now; but around those tween years\/the preteen years, you are their world. They think you hung the moon and the stars. They want to go to the grocery store with you; they want to do something like\u2014just follow you around while you\u2019re doing yard work. It\u2019s like they want to be with you. Those are the golden years. That\u2019s like, \u201cWow, I am really winning as a parent\u201d; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen it seems like, all of a sudden, somebody flipped a light switch\u2014that has all changed. The shift is your child is growing into their adolescent years. I say it like this: \u201cParents, you are the greatest voice of influence in your child\u2019s life; but you have to understand that you are not the <em>only<\/em> voice of influence. You have to be okay with that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen they get into those teenage years\u2014up until those teenage years, if we were ranking it, like ranking teams, you\u2019re number one; you know? Parents are number one\u2014they are everything; right? [Second would be] other adults; you know, small group leaders, coaches, teachers. [Third would be] friends in the neighborhood. Fourth would be like culture\u2014like: Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, things like that; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen that shift happens; all of a sudden, it\u2019s like friends are number one; culture is number two\u2014the pop artists they follow\/the YouTubers that they follow have a lot of influence. Other adults are number three; so like a small group leader, a coach, a teacher. Then you are in this lonely fourth place, because the shift has happened. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> It\u2019s so depressing! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It is hard; it\u2019s hard. Here is what parents often do. Parents we\u2019ve coached over the years\u2014and even back in my family life ministry days\u2014some parents throw their hands up and say: \u201cOkay; I\u2019ve lost. I don\u2019t understand this child.\u201d They don\u2019t realize the shift has happened; they are still trying to hold on to the golden days, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Do parents retreat? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Some of them retreat. Some of them say: \u201cI\u2019m out. I can\u2019t do this anymore.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we tell parents is: \u201cYou\u2019re still on the <em>list<\/em>. [Laughter] Understand that you are just not in first place. You\u2019ve dropped to fourth place, but you\u2019re still on the list. Your child is still taking life cues from you. They are still watching you and listening to you. It just doesn\u2019t seem like it, because it\u2019s like they are seeing this great big world for the first time. It\u2019s critical that you stay involved, and you stay engaged.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Some parents want to be overbearing. They want to say, \u201cYou need to tell me where you are going and who you are with,\u201d and \u201cI need to know every single moment of every day,\u201d\u2014that can be disastrous. Then you have other parents that say, \u201cOkay; well, good luck,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s also disastrous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe key is: \u201cStay engaged; stay involved. Be okay with the shift. Be okay with being in fourth place. You still maintain boundaries\u2014that\u2019s critical.\u201d It\u2019s critical to still say, \u201cThere are rules here, and there are consequences if rules are broken,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s important. If you can weather that storm, it\u2019s like an investment account that you just continue to invest and invest in\u2014in the future, it\u2019s going to equal massive dividends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you know, you may be at number four on the list in terms of daily influence; but I\u2019ve got to believe, in fourth place, you still have a level of influence, at a subtle level, that\u2019s more powerful than the peers or the culture. The peers and the culture may be winning the day; but if you stay connected, your kids know the difference between peer approval and Mom and Dad\u2019s affirmation and their voice of approval. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> One of the things Dave and I have talked about, when we talk to other parents, is that the teenage years are years of living in the question. In other words, if our child would come into our room\u2014you know, however\u2014until the age of 11 and they would say, \u201cMom and Dad, can I watch\/go see this movie with my friends?\u201d We would basically say, \u201cNo; that\u2019s not on our list of movies that would be necessarily appropriate.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a 13-\/14-\/15-[year-old] or on up walk into the room and they say: \u201cHey, everybody is going to this movie. Can I go?\u201d We know the answer is going to be \u201cNo\u201d; but we don\u2019t say that. We live in the question and we say: \u201cTell me about the movie. What do <em>you<\/em> think about the movie?\u201d We try to put the decision-making more in their hands\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014so they start processing; it starts becoming <em>their<\/em> decision. Somehow, we end up saying, \u201cNo\u201d; but hopefully, we\u2019ve <em>led<\/em> them in the process. It doesn\u2019t always work out perfectly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I was going to say\u2014[Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014but we try to live in the question. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014yes; there are times when they say: \u201cI agree. Yes; it\u2019s a bad movie\u201d; and you find out later, they <em>went<\/em>; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now, they are hiding it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014from you; but it\u2019s\u2014they are becoming adults. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I think, as parents, we do freak out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> We do; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yet, we should step back and go: \u201cThis is exactly what <em>should<\/em> happen. What is my role?\u201d I don\u2019t remove myself, but I\u2014and one of the things I think we do is\u2014at the core, they still want\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014a relationship with you,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014even though it doesn\u2019t look like it. So, you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> They have a really weird way of showing it at times. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014yes; but you\u2019ve got to pursue them, because they are not pursuing you anymore. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here is how this was explained to me, years ago; and I found this really helpful. When your kids are little, you are a caretaker. Everything about their day needs your direct attention. They cannot live on their own\u2014they don\u2019t know how to walk or talk; you\u2019ve got to feed them; you\u2019ve got to burp them; you\u2019ve got to change their diapers\u2014you\u2019re fully engaged and involved. They can\u2019t survive without you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey go into a phase, where you move from being a caretaker, as a parent, to being a cop. Now, you are following them around, and you\u2019re writing tickets; right? [Laughter] It\u2019s like: \u201cYou just broke the law,\u201d and so you swat them on the hand: \u201cYou do this,\u201d\u2014you\u2019re training them on the rules of the house and the rules of life. You\u2019re a cop throughout their younger years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen there comes a point, where you\u2019ve got to move from being a cop to being a coach\u2014that\u2019s what you guys are talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Here is where parents make a mistake. They\u2019ve got kids, who they should be coaching, and they are still copping. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you\u2019ve got a 15-year-old, and you\u2019re still the cop and you\u2019re not coaching, those kids are going to find\u2014they are just going to break the rules and hide it from you. You\u2019ve got to be training them; because there\u2019s a level coming, where you move from coach to consultant and where it\u2019s no longer\u2014you\u2019re not calling the shots. You\u2019re hoping they call you and say, \u201cCan you give me some advice on this?\u201d and you can be a consultant to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s these coaching years that feel hard for us, as parents\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014it\u2019s after the shift from cop to coach; because we feel like, \u201cIf you\u2019re the coach, does that mean you can\u2019t say, \u2018No\u2019?\u201d No; the coach can pull a player out of the game and say, \u201cYou\u2019re on the bench for a while\u201d; but most of the time, you are on the sidelines, and you\u2019re shouting in the plays and saying, \u201cDo this,\u201d \u201cDo that\u201d; but you\u2019ve got to let them run the plays on their own. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ann:<\/strong> I also think, sometimes, we\u2019re the negative coach. That\u2019s where we have to be careful; because with teenagers, we\u2019re seeing them figure things out. It is very easy to critique their decision making\/their choices. We have to be the coach that also is encouraging them and reminding them of how <em>great<\/em> they are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> One last question on that, though\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014before we leave it. If their friends become number one, how do you, as a parent, influence that?\u2014because, if their bad influences are number one, it can take them on a very dangerous place. Yet, you\u2019ve got to be very careful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s\u2014I think it comes down to conversations. I like what you guys said about the question: \u201cTell me about this movie.\u201d I think that parents immediately\u2014they jump to a defense mode, where they say, \u201cThat\u2019s not a good person.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what?\u2014the reality is\u2014maybe, the choices that person\/that friend is making is not good; but you just told your child that somebody that they may care about or, at least right now, have a relationship with is not a good person. I think that does damage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat may be true, but I think the better approach\/the healthier approach is to begin to dialogue\u2014to ask: \u201cOkay; tell me about this person. Tell me about their family.\u201d Just asking them questions\/dialoguing with them\u2014I think we throw that out the door because we so want to maintain control. We\u2019re so concerned with behavior modification. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019re fearful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> And we\u2019re fearful. Behavior modification does this\u2014it just teaches our kids to work harder to not get caught. I think that we fall into that trap often,\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014so I think conversation is the beginning. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Our friend\/our mutual friend, Tim Kimmel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series\u2014one of the things he says is\u2014he says: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou need to help your kids understand that there are asset friends and there are liability friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of your friends that you\u2019re with\u2014you are a better person by being with them\u2014and some of your friends that you are with\u2014their influence on you does not make you a better person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you need all kinds of friends, and you need to be an influence on those kids who need your influence; but if what you\u2019re hanging around with most of the time is your liability friends, those liability friends are going to bring the value of your portfolio down\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cYou need asset friends and liability friends, and you need to tip the scales toward those friends who make you a better person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is one other point you make in the book that I think is so helpful here; and that is, during the shift, you have to enlist other voices\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014who are going to speak into the life of your child. In the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series, we talk about it as rivers of influence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You want your kids to be in these rivers of influence, where it\u2019s not just Mom and Dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> In fact, that is, I would say, to any parent who feels like it is their sole responsibility to\u2014instruct their child, teach their child, lead their child\u2014and they become intimidated when anybody else has any kind of influence. You are doing your child an injustice. You need to widen the circle of influence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike I talk about in the book, this past Christmastime, I was on a trip with my daughter. It was a school trip, and she became very upset. I walked over to her and I said: \u201cHoney, what\u2019s wrong? Let\u2019s talk.\u201d She wouldn\u2019t answer me. I said: \u201cHoney, let me help you. Use your words. Talk to me. What\u2019s going on?\u201d She looked up at me; and she said, \u201cI really don\u2019t want to talk about this right now.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay; I understand that.\u201d Then she looked at me and said, \u201cI just want to call McKayla.\u201d McKayla is her small group leader through Young Life<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got to tell you something\u2014I stood up and I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d I walked away; and my heart was singing because I thought, \u201cI trust McKayla,\u201d and \u201cMcKayla is going to say the same things that we would say to our daughter.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, amplifying other voices\u2014when that shift happens and other adults are on that list, you want to elevate that. You want the small group leader at your church, the Young Life leader, or the coach who says the same things you say; but it may get through to them. You know, they come home and they are like, \u201cWell, So-and-so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014\u201csaid that I ought to\u2026.\u201d You\u2019re like, \u201cYes; I\u2019ve said that four billion times\u201d; [Laughter] but they said it, and it got through\u2014that\u2019s a win. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What would you say to the parent, who says, \u201cI want my kids to go to that youth group; I want them to go to church; I want them to do these things; but they refuse to go\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> You know, I am of the belief that you don\u2019t force your kids to step into an environment that they don\u2019t want to go to\u2014that they are resisting. I think it comes back to the conversation; because I think, as parents, we need to be entering into conversations with our kids when it comes to the values that we have in our family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe do have the value of church in our family. Right now, we\u2019re in a season where my daughters, in particular, don\u2019t want to attend the youth group; that\u2019s okay. I think it\u2019s conversations around the \u201cWhy?\u201d\u2014like: \u201cWhy don\u2019t you want to go?\u201d and then \u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d I think we need to give our kids permission\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, you\u2019re giving them options. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014you are giving them options. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2014I have a couple of friends, who have teenagers. They have\u2014one them is a pastor, actually. He has given his daughter\u2019s permission to go to another church; because they\u2019ve said to him, \u201cDad, this has been our church forever, but we feel like it\u2019s not the place for us.\u201d Sometimes, parents\u2014we struggle through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We freak out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; you freak out because you\u2019re like, \u201cThis is what we do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; so here is how I\u2019d tackle that. If a child said, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to youth group,\u201d I would say: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay; so, two things that are values. One is that you\u2019ve got community\u2014that you\u2019ve got people in your life, who are asset friends, who are pointing you in the right direction. If it\u2019s not youth group, what is that group for you? Where is your community coming from that are your asset friends?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond thing is\u2014as a value, you need people pouring into you spiritually. You need to be getting discipled; you need to be growing spiritually. Again, that\u2019s one of the things youth group is designed to do. If it\u2019s not youth group, where\u2019s your community, and who is pouring into you? If you\u2019ve got good answers for that, then youth group was just a means to an end in the first place; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if the kid says, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to youth group,\u201d and what they want to do is hang out with their liability friends and do bad stuff, well, now, wait. Now, we\u2019ve got something else we\u2019ve got to talk about\u2014which is not whether you\u2019re keeping the rules\u2014because kids can go to youth group and then go hang out with their liability friends and do bad stuff; right? You want to be asking the question: \u201cWhere are you getting your community?\u201d and \u201cWhere are you getting poured into?\u201d If we can resolve that, then we ought to be happy as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; my daughter is involved in Young Life. She has chosen Young Life\u2014which meets mid-week\u2014over Sunday night youth group, because she just didn\u2019t feel like she was connecting at our Sunday night youth group. We\u2019re okay with that, because she\u2019s involved in a small group at Young Life; and that\u2019s where she is getting that connection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We gave one of our sons some of those options\u2014like he was: \u201cI don\u2019t like the youth group. I don\u2019t want to go there. I don\u2019t connect with anybody.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the one where Dad is the pastor? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That\u2019s the one. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> That\u2019s happened with me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, we were laying out options of: \u201cWhat about this?\u201d or \u201cWhat about this?\u201d He decided to <em>lead<\/em> a group of younger boys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> That\u2019s amazing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was pretty cool until we walked home one night. He had one of the kids out on the deck, locked out in the snow, because he wouldn\u2019t pay attention. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> That was the other pastor\u2019s son. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; it was! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Last day on the job for him; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The big idea here is that we\u2019ve got to keep that bridge of relationship with our kids. That\u2019s really what is the burden of your heart, as a former youth pastor, and now a parent of eight adoptive kids. If the relationship is not strong, you\u2019ve lost the foundation for everything in parenting; haven\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely; yes. I think, in my years of working with families, I had more parents come in who would just sit down in my office; and they would look at me and say: \u201cI\u2019ve lost my kid. I\u2019ve lost touch with him.\u201d As we went through, layer by layer, we would discover pretty quickly that in the early days, it was: \u201cI don\u2019t want to set up any boundaries for this child. I grew up in a harsh environment, so I don\u2019t want to say, \u2018No,\u2019 to them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they never transitioned into those teenage years, where you have to emphasize boundaries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Really, when the shift happened\u2014 the child was discovering this world for themselves\u2014their response was: \u201cI don\u2019t understand you. We\u2019re at odds\u201d; and it never changed. Then, in the adult years, it\u2019s the situation, where the child is never calling. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, and before we close, I just wanted to say: \u201cI think one of the most important things we can do for our kids, and gifts we can give to our kids, is praying for them\u2014that God always hears. He is always longing for us to go before Him, because He\u2019s always fighting on our kids\u2019 behalf because He loves them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve got, on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, a video clip from the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> talking about the importance of praying for our kids. I\u2019d encourage our listeners\u2014go check that out and understand how powerful this is, as a parent. You have access to the God of the universe and can call on Him to be your ally in your parenting. Then get a copy of Mike Berry\u2019s book, <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMike, thanks for being here with us today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> My pleasure; thanks for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of the book; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. The video clip from Tim Kimmel that I mentioned earlier in the program\u2014that\u2019s available on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well. Again, if you\u2019d like a copy of the book, order online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Mike\u2019s circumstance as a foster and adoptive parent is different than what most of us experience; but what we\u2019ve talked about today applies in every home. We\u2019ve got the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, here with us today. This is good stuff for moms and dads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Oh, man, it applies to all of our homes; because let\u2019s face it\u2014we need community\u2014all of us. We are wired for it by our God; and especially, as we\u2019re walking through different challenges and ups and downs of life. We need other people and to be lifted up by other people, especially those times we feel like we\u2019re in over our heads. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> So, we need Aaron and Hur\u2014like Mike talked about today\u2014to lift us up. We will need to be there for other people, too. Are we actively having community, where we are there for others? I just think we can start today by declaring need. What are the places where we need to initiate with our friends and go: \u201cI am struggling,\u201d or \u201cI am facing this challenge, and I need help. I need <em>you<\/em>,\u201d\u2014because God\u2019s grace is never in short supply.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> He is a communal God; and most often, He loves using His body\/His people to help us experience Him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> As you said, we need to ask for help when we need it; and we need to be available to help others when they need it. In fact, I\u2019m thinking about the fact that we are making available, this week to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, which may be a book that you need. It may be a book that you want to get and pass along to somebody else, who is raising the next generation. Maybe, you are past the childbearing years, but somebody would benefit from you making that book available to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we\u2019re offering this book this week to anybody who can help with a donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. When you donate, what you are actually doing is making this program possible for people in your community\u2014actually for people all around the world\u2014who are looking to us for practical biblical help and hope for their marriages and their families. Your donations make this ministry possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you for your donation this week,\u201d by sending you Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to donate online; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014make your donation; mention that you\u2019d like a copy of the book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. We\u2019re happy to send it to you, and we\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us in helping to effectively develop godly marriages and families who change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend. I hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend, and we hope you can be back with us on Monday. We\u2019re going to talk about something kind of provocative. Pastor Dean Inserra will be here to talk about unsaved Christians. He\u2019ll explain what he means on Monday. So, hope you can tune in and be part of that with us next week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305427"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305427"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305427"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305427"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}