{"id":305423,"date":"2019-10-10T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-10-10T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-grace-to-forgive\/"},"modified":"2019-10-10T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-10-10T10:00:05","slug":"the-grace-to-forgive","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-grace-to-forgive\/","title":{"rendered":"The Grace to Forgive"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Mike Berry | Series: Winning The Heart of Your Child | Mike Berry, a foster dad of 23 kids over the years and father of eight adopted kids, talks about winning the heart of a child. Berry recalls the darkest season of his parenting years when his son, who suffers with fetal alcohol syndrome, was out of control and injured another child. He recalls what he felt that day and the words he spoke in anger. Seeking forgiveness, Berry tells how being willing to confess and offer grace to forgive is key in winning a child&#8217;s heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mike Berry recalls the dark season of his parenting years when his son was out of control and injured another child. Berry tells how being willing to confess and offer grace to forgive is key in winning a child&#8217;s heart.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:24","filesize":"24.17M","filesize_raw":"25348611","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2841,2090],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[8308],"cwp_profile":[9533],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305423","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-special-needs-child","podcast_series-winning-the-heart-of-your-child","cwp_profile-mike-berry","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305423\/the-grace-to-forgive","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305423\/the-grace-to-forgive","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"4n8QaHdxOj\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-grace-to-forgive\/\">The Grace to Forgive<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-grace-to-forgive\/embed\/#?secret=4n8QaHdxOj\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Grace to Forgive&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"4n8QaHdxOj\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Mike Berry recalls the dark season of his parenting years when his son was out of control and injured another child. Berry tells how being willing to confess and offer grace to forgive is key in winning a child's heart.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Someone has said that rules without relationship will lead to rebellion. We\u2019re going to talk with Mike Berry today about building a positive lifelong relationship with your kids. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. One of the big ideas that comes out of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>video series, which you guys are a part of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014have you been all the way through? Have you watched all of the episodes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Probably haven\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> We need to watch that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I know; sorry. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, you don\u2019t have kids at home; right? It\u2019s not like immediately applicable for what you are dealing with, but great contributors to the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>. One of the big ideas that pops out of it is that we need to be connecting, heart to heart, with our kids\u2014that if all we\u2019re trying to do is shape their behavior, but there is no relationship\/there\u2019s no heart connection, that is not a good strategy for parenting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; and I can tell you this, as an empty-nester parent now, that is the goal; you know? Now, when you\u2019re adult to adult with your kids, if you haven\u2019t built a relationship over those decades, they are not coming home; and they are not calling, so it\u2019s <em>crucial<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I can remember the first time we heard Josh McDowell\u2014and you have all heard this: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion.\u201d <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That stuck in us, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, Dennis Rainey, for years, said, \u201cThe relationship is the bridge that you can carry a truckload of truth across in those times when you need to; but if you don\u2019t have the relationship\/if the bridge is out, the truth doesn\u2019t get from your side to the other side.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a friend back with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> who believes in this idea and has written a book called <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids<\/em>. Mike Berry joins us. Mike, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Thank you. It\u2019s good to be back! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mike is from central Indiana\u2014from the Indianapolis area. He and his wife are the proud parents of\u2014you ready?\u2014eight children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Woohoo! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014eight adopted kids. We\u2019ve already talked about this on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; but you have adopted kids between the ages of\u2014see if I get this right\u201410 and 34\/24? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Close: 32\u2014that\u2019s close. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201410 and 32. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the unique things is\u2014you adopted a 24-year-old daughter when she was 24. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Six of the eight, you fostered before you adopted\u2014and we didn\u2019t get to talk about this last time\u2014but you fostered a lot of kids. How did you make the decision that some, who you fostered, you were going to adopt and others, you fostered, you didn\u2019t? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> You know, there are some situations where\u2014and we fostered 23 kids\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014total, which is\u2014here is what is interesting. When you say that number to\u2014if you\u2019re speaking to foster and adoptive parents, that\u2019s like minor league. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> There are people in front of us who have fostered like 300\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> What?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014400 kids; no kidding. So, like we\u2019re softball compared to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the major leaguers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014the major leaguers; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Mike, you guys aren\u2019t that old\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No; thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014to have fostered that many kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> You are like one of the only people who says that about me. My kids don\u2019t believe that, but thank you. [Laughter] I\u2019m not that old; no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And you\u2019re a grandparent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I am; yes. I became a grandparent at 38, which was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014that was kind of hard to get used to; but now, I\u2019m used to it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, back to the question. You\u2019ve got 23 kids going through the family, and 6 of them stick; why those 6? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> You know, it really comes down to\u2014when you foster to adopt, there are situations where reunification is not going to happen; and that\u2019s really what it came down to when we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because the goal of fostering is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014reunification. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for those kids to be able to be back with their bio parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; and that\u2019s actually\u2014I\u2019m glad you said that; because a lot of people get into that journey, and they don\u2019t realize that that is what the goal is; but there are also certain situations, where you can tell reunification is not going to happen. Birth\/bio parents are <em>not<\/em> doing what they needed to do, and that becomes a foster-to-adopt situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In those situations, where you\u2019ve not adopted, do you continue to have relationships with those foster kids? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> We do; yes. We actually\u2014we actually have continued to have a relationship with a child that we fostered when they were in their teen years and now older. We are still connected; it\u2019s really cool\u2014which is interesting; because back in the day, we didn\u2019t think we would have a connection, and now we do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Are you done adopting, or do you just keep that window open? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Now, if Kristin were here, she would answer that very differently than how I\u2019m about to answer it. [Laughter] I believe that we are done because of what we do now and what our work consists of now, which is equipping parents\u2014foster\/adoptive parents mostly\u2014but again, Kristin may look at you and say, \u201cWell\u2026.\u201d If you hear the \u201cwell,\u201d it\u2019s like: \u201cUh-oh. [Laughter] Hold on a second. Wait; wait, what\u2019s\u2026\u201d\u2014so, no. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, her window may never be quite closed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> That\u2019s true; that\u2019s the momma\u2019s heart. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Last time you were here, we talked about your book, <em>Confessions of an Adoptive Parent<\/em>. We\u2019re going to talk about the new book you\u2019ve written: <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we dive into this, when you were here before, Ann asked you a question about the darkest moment in your adoption journey and asked if you\u2019d be willing to share that. Are you okay with telling us about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the challenges you\u2019ve faced?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; I am. I think I told you that I wrote about it earlier in the day, so it\u2019s already out there; but I\u2019ll share it again for anybody who doesn\u2019t read our blog. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 2011, I was called home from work, which I worked in the church at the time. I had kind of gone through a period, where over the three months previous, I think I had been called home about ten times because, at the time, I was working at the church. Kristin was a stay-at-home mom; and our oldest son, in particular, was just very\u2014we had just received a diagnosis of alcohol-related neurodevelopment disorder a year earlier, which basically confirmed what we already knew\u2014that he had this disorder. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder manifests itself in a lot of different ways. One of those ways can be extreme aggression\/impulsivities, which can lead to dangerous circumstances. This particular day, he was completely dysregulated, destroying things in our house, out of control to the point that Kristin was like, \u201cI can\u2019t do this on my own anymore.\u201d She called me, and I remember getting on the phone with her and talking to her. She says, \u201cYou know, I think everything is going to be okay.\u201d Then we get off the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout an hour later, I was in a team meeting with our family life team; and I get a call again. This time, she is sobbing\u2014like I can\u2019t even make out the words she is saying; you know? All I can make out in the middle of that was she mentioned our other son Jacob and, then, the word, \u201cskull.\u201d Then, when I finally could understand what she was saying, she said, \u201cI can see Jacob\u2019s skull.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike: <\/strong>What had happened was\u2014my oldest son became very, very aggressive\u2014wasn\u2019t getting his way. What you have to understand\u2014listeners, who are in this circumstance with children who have FASD, they understand\/they would understand this\u2014that sometimes, it\u2019s just\u2014it\u2019s all of a sudden, like the smallest thing, and they completely flip out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was standing in our living room. He didn\u2019t like something that Kristin said to him, and he picks up a broom handle that didn\u2019t have the brush part of it\u2014it just had like the little part that you screw the brush on. He hurled it, like a javelin, across the room at <em>her<\/em>. As he did that, my\u2014at that time\u2014three-year-old son Jacob comes walking through the room, turns, and the broom hits him right about an inch from his eye\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014in his forehead. That\u2019s why Kristin told me she could see his skull, because it just pierced right into his forehead. She calls me; and she says, after she calms down\u2014she says, \u201cI need you to come home right now,\u201d because she had to take him to the ER; she had no way. She was like putting\/holding a cloth on his forehead\u2014pressing it\/holding it close to his head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI drive home really, really fast. I get there, and I\u2019m already really, really scared; and I\u2019m really, really angry. Now, I understand how trauma changes the brain; but back then, I didn\u2019t. I thought we were talking about a bad kid who behaves badly. That\u2019s <em>not<\/em> what we were talking\u2014we\u2019re talking about a child, who has gone through trauma; and it\u2019s rendered him with an incapacity to think logically; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI walk in, and I am loaded for bear\u2014I am going to take this eight-year-old out; I am so angry. I come upstairs; I bust into our room, where my wife is holding our other son. She is actually in an argument with my oldest son, at that point, because he had not cycled back to remorse. At that point, in his brain, he is still just agitated and angry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember looking at him and saying: \u201cYou\u2019re not my son. I don\u2019t want to see your face again, and I want you out of my house,\u201d to an eight-year-old kid. You know, those words haunt me to this day; they will forever haunt me. One of the things that happened in that moment is\u2014I walked away from that feeling like: \u201cGosh, I\u2019m such a failure! What kind of father says that to his child?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I was speaking out of\u2014and anybody could say, \u201cWell, somebody, who is very scared.\u201d Yes; but in my mind, I felt\/I kept thinking: \u201cI\u2019m a failure! I\u2019m no good for this, and I\u2019ll never be good for\u2014I don\u2019t deserve anything good.\u201d Those moments happen often in my life. I realized\u2014I just said this recently to a crowd I was speaking to\u2014I talked about: \u201cWe go through these moments, where we feel like: \u2018I\u2019m a failure,\u2019 \u2018I\u2019m a failure,\u2019 \u2018I\u2019m a failure\u2019; because we\u2019ve screwed up,\u201d\u2014 right?\u2014but I said to the audience: \u201cDo you want to know the truth? God never thinks that about us. <em>We<\/em> are the ones that think that about ourselves; but God doesn\u2019t think that about us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy wife never thought that about me; my kids never thought that about me. I\u2019m the one that thought I was a failure. Oftentimes, we beat ourselves up when we forget that our heavenly Father isn\u2019t beating us up; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But there is someone that is beating us up; and that is the accuser of our souls,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014who is continually speaking lies to us of discouragement\/of condemnation. I think that that\u2019s important to recognize that there is a battle going on, even for us as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Oh, absolutely. One of the things that the father of lies does is\u2014he\u2019s able to manipulate our voice and use it against us. That\u2019s why we believe it, because we hear our own voice saying things\/whispering to our own mind; and we believe our own voice. We wouldn\u2019t believe Satan if he showed up in his true form\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014with his voice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014with his voice. It would be like an orc from Middle Earth showing up. You\u2019re like, \u201cI\u2019m not going to believe that\u201d; right? But I am going to believe my own voice\u2014right?\u2014and I think that\u2019s how the enemy works; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve come a long way from 2011, saying to an eight-year-old: \u201cYou\u2019re not my child. Get out of my house. I don\u2019t want to see you again.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> How did you handle\u2014what went on? What happened after that that you reconciled that and forgave yourself? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> So, I will be the first to say that the part of grace that I struggle with is giving grace to myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> This is true for <em>all<\/em> parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> \u2014for all parents; yes. Like I always say, \u201cYou know the verse in 1 Timothy, Chapter 1, verse 15, where Paul says, \u201cEverybody should believe this; that Jesus came to save sinners, for which, I am the worst.\u201d I always react to that, like, \u201cYes; Paul, I\u2019m going to accept that; but here is the part I\u2019m accepting: \u2018I am the worst,\u2019\u2014that\u2019s what I accept\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that I remember in that moment, in particular\u2014and I think this is something that, when parents do this\u2014it teaches their kid\/their child such a valuable lesson. When you are able to go before your child and look them in the eye and own what you did\u2014even if it is, maybe, embarrassing and hard\u2014and seek their forgiveness, I think you\u2019re teaching them how to seek forgiveness and how to forgive others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s something that\u2014for parents, that struggle with pride; like, \u201cNo, no; I\u2019m just going to push it down; I\u2019m going to forget it happened,\u201d\u2014I think you are missing out on a valuable opportunity to teach your children <em>how<\/em> to forgive others; how to seek out forgiveness, and how to <em>give<\/em> grace to others. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Did you do that with your son? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I did. You know, with my son, I knelt down before him. I just looked at him; and I said, \u201cI\u2014no father should ever say those words to their son. I wish I could take them back, and I am so sorry.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had those moments because I\u2019m the first to admit that I am still a massive screw-up in need of grace. I have had those moments, often, where I\u2019ve had to say, \u201cI own this.\u201d I think ownership is big; I think ownership is a catalyst\/it\u2019s a funnel to forgiveness. It propels forgiveness forward; you know? When you can own something and say: \u201cI own that. I made that mistake,\u201d \u201cI did that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And his response was? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> He is a very forgiving kid. He said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Dad\u201d; then he hugged me. It was not easy. It\u2019s still not easy, because pride always wants to claim first spot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s part of what the title of your book is about; right?\u2014<em>Winning the Heart of Your Child <\/em>has to be you modeled it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; I\u2019d like to think so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, there is a lot more to talk about, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> There is; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was thinking the same thing. At the center of <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child<\/em> has got to be this ability to confess, to reconcile, to repent, to seek and grant forgiveness to one another. And moms and dads have got to recognize that\u2019s not just teaching your kids how to confess and how to seek forgiveness; but it\u2019s you demonstrating when you mess up that you confess and that you seek their forgiveness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, as parents, we feel like: \u201cIf I do that, I\u2019m surrendering the authority position with my kids. I\u2019m giving them power over me by saying: \u2018I messed up. Will you forgive me?\u2019 I just put power in their hands, and I\u2019m not sure what they\u2019re going to do with that power.\u201d But it doesn\u2019t work that way; does it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> No; it\u2019s\u2014I think that that is pride talking when parents believe that; you know? That\u2019s exactly what our enemy wants us to believe. He wants us to believe that we\u2019re going to lose power. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the points that I make in the book is\u2014I pose this question: \u201cDo you want to be right, or do you want to be connected?\u201d I think that we have this\u2014we feel like it\u2019s our job to always make sure our kids know that we are in charge, and we\u2019re the boss, and that our word is the final word and whatnot; but I think in the process, if we get so drilled down on that, we miss an opportunity to communicate with their heart. I think that that focusing on their heart, while you\u2019re still presenting them with boundaries, I think it teaches them to respect you even more so than if you were just lecturing and lecturing and always trying to have the last word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, in the book, you have your nine keys; so can you walk through some of those? I mean, I\u2019m looking at the first one\u2014it says, \u201cBlend love and discipline for influence.\u201d What does that mean: \u201cfor influence\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> You know, I think that we have this imbalance, sometimes, as parents. We want to be all loving\/all loving so our kids aren\u2019t mad at us, and they are not upset, and they are not\u2014they have this good life. I see young parents doing this all the time\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cWell, we don\u2019t say the word, \u2018No.\u2019\u201d I\u2019m always like, \u201cWell, then what <em>do<\/em> you say?\u201d because we say, \u201cNo,\u201d in our house; right?\u2014you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you have the parents, on the other side of it, that are like: \u201cIt\u2019s all rules\/all rules.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014and it\u2019s always \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; yes; it\u2019s always rules\u2014it\u2019s rigid; it\u2019s like marching orders. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2014if you can figure out how to blend those together\/if you can present boundaries in a loving way\u2014discipline has this stigma that it has to be harsh; it doesn\u2019t. You can discipline your child in a loving way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> It has to do with the way <em>you<\/em> present yourself\u2014the tone that you use. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, the root word is the same as the word, \u201cdisciple.\u201d Disciplining a child is discipling your child. Jesus was not a harsh discipler of men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI go back\u2014I was reading your chapter\u2014and I was thinking about a study that was done\u2014I think this was at the University of Minnesota, years ago\u2014they said, \u201cAll kids are asking two questions of their parents: \u201cDo you love me?\u201d and \u201cCan I do whatever I want?\u201d They said, \u201cSome parents will answer that question by saying, \u2018Yes; I love you desperately, and you can probably do whatever you want.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Those are the parents who have left the discipline out of the equation, and they are the permissive parent. They\u2019ll have a great relationship, but those kids are going to get away with stuff that are going to be\/could be harmful to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen there is another group of parents; and they say, \u201cNo; of course, you can\u2019t do whatever you want; and you are going to wonder whether I love you, because I\u2019m so committed to the rules,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the authoritarian parent. That goes back to what you mentioned, Ann, which is: \u201cRules without relationship equals rebellion.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve <em>got<\/em> to be saying to our kids: \u201cI love you desperately; and of course, you can\u2019t\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cget away with whatever you want; because that\u2019s\u2014the reason you can\u2019t get away with whatever you want is because I love you desperately\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, I was so intrigued, several years ago. I was speaking to a high school youth group, and I had several girls come up to me afterward. One girl was 14 years old, and she was crying. I said, \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on.\u201d She said: \u201cI have a mom that\u2019s raising me that lets me do anything and everything,\u201d and \u201cI have no curfew. I can do anything I want with boys.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat do you feel about that?\u201d She said, \u201cI don\u2019t think my mom loves me\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbecause all of my friends\u2014they have some restrictions and rules. I feel like\u2014I feel like their parents are more invested, and they love me.\u201d Isn\u2019t that interesting? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; that is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I was a little surprised\u2014but not surprised\u2014because love is discipline. Love is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> \u2014that shows love\/boundaries bring security to our kids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> I think kids crave that; you know? That\u2019s what I\u2019ve discovered. I would have kids come into my office, when I was youth pastor, years ago. I had this one child in particular\u2014I\u2019ll never forget this\u2014he came in, and he was upset; he was frustrated. As we began talking, he would say to me: \u201cWell, my parents don\u2019t care how late I stay out. They don\u2019t care who I hang out with. They don\u2019t care whether I am here at this youth group or at a party somewhere.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt one point, I said, \u201cYou know, there is a phrase you keep saying, and it\u2019s: \u2018My parents don\u2019t care,\u2019\u2014that keeps coming back.\u201d I said, \u201cI think that, maybe, your struggles are you really feel lost; because you have parents who are disconnected from you,\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t think I said it quite like that, but it was somewhere along those lines. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKiddos, even if they look at boundaries\u2014like, \u201cI don\u2019t want a curfew,\u201d\u2014they still crave that in their heart of hearts because it means that their parents are connected to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I actually think, when the boundary is set up and clearly defined\u2014three-year-old\/thirteen-year-old\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter\u2014they actually feel safe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You think, as a parent, \u201cI\u2019m restricting them; they\u2019re not going to have freedom.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think they feel free because they are going to bump up against that fence\/that boundary\u2014guaranteed. Parents shouldn\u2019t go, \u201cI can\u2019t believe they are,\u201d\u2014of course, they are! You are a sinner, who birthed sinnerlings; right? [Laughter] They\u2019re going to bounce up against that thing; so they are sort of saying, \u201cWill this be enforced?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, as a parent, you think: \u201cIf I enforce this, I\u2019m going to be restricting them. They\u2019ll hate me.\u201d You\u2019ve already said it\u2014the truth is\u2014they want it enforced. Now, they know what the boundary is; they actually feel <em>freedom<\/em> within the boundary, and they feel loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mike:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Two of the key themes in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series\u2014one is that the way you build character in a child is through discipline. Discipline is how kids learn character, but just right alongside that is kids have to learn how to be good at relationships. Part of the way they learn how to be good at relationships with others is by having a healthy relationship with you\u2014it\u2019s what you model\u2014so this is where these two ideas of discipline and love are melded together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI keep coming back to what the Bible says in John 1:14, where it talks about Jesus. It says, \u201cWe beheld the glory of the Father, the only begotten Son of the Father, who was full of\u201d\u2014catch it\u2014\u201cfull of grace and truth.\u201d If grace is that overflow of love and truth is where the correction and discipline come in, here\u2019s Jesus, who is full of both\u2014not 50\/50\u2014100\/100. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we need to be full of grace and truth\u2014full of love for our kids; and full of truth, and correction, and discipling. That\u2019s a part of how you win the heart of your child, which is the title of the book that Mike Berry has written: <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child: 9 Keys to Building a Positive Lifelong Relationship with Your Kids<\/em>. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that deals with this same subject. It\u2019s an important aspect of parenting, and it\u2019s in the video series. If you\u2019ve not gone through this series with your small group or with another group of parents\u2014kids [your children\u2019s] age\u2014go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out how you can get the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em> video series that includes the movie, <em>Like Arrows<\/em>. That\u2019s a great way to invite folks into a dialogue about parenting\u2014watch the movie together and then say, \u201cWho wants to go through this video series with us?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on this resource or to get a copy of Mike Berry\u2019s book, <em>Winning the Heart of Your Child<\/em>; or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY if you have any questions or you\u2019d like to order these resources by phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaking of the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em>, we\u2019re making copies of that book available this week to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation. Today\u2019s program was made possible because listeners, like you, made it possible for you to listen. In fact, if you are a regular listener, somebody has been covering the cost of producing and syndicating this program so that you\u2019d have access to these programs. And we\u2019re grateful for those of you who have pitched in to help make all of this possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a longtime listener, and you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you join the team today? Let us send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>, as our thank-you gift. You can keep the book or pass it on to someone you know, who may be in the middle of raising a family, and would benefit from getting a copy of the book. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Thanks for partnering with us; thanks for joining the team. We look forward to hearing from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can join us back tomorrow when we are going to continue talking about how we, as parents, can maximize and leverage our influence to help our children through the teen years and keep our relationship with them intact. Mike Berry will join us tomorrow. I hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305423"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305423"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305423"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305423"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}