{"id":305419,"date":"2019-10-09T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-10-09T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-mothers-assignment\/"},"modified":"2019-10-09T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-10-09T10:00:04","slug":"a-mothers-assignment","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-assignment\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother&#8217;s Assignment"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Linda Weber talks to new moms about their important assignment, encouraging moms to believe what the Scriptures tell them about their role. Find out how a mother&#8217;s love impacts a child&#8217;s brain.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:47","filesize":"25.44M","filesize_raw":"26672148","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2838,2834],"tags":[],"podcast_series":[8307],"cwp_profile":[3197],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305419","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-mothers","category-praying-for-your-children","podcast_series-the-eternal-mark-of-a-mom","cwp_profile-linda-weber","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305419\/a-mothers-assignment","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305419\/a-mothers-assignment","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"B2W9hEgdgr\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-assignment\/\">A Mother&#8217;s Assignment<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-mothers-assignment\/embed\/#?secret=B2W9hEgdgr\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Mother&#8217;s Assignment&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"B2W9hEgdgr\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Linda Weber believes that it\u2019s important for moms to make sure they\u2019re training their kids, ultimately, to follow God, not just to do what mom says.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Everything we ever do with our kids, they need to know: \u201cIt\u2019s not just because I said it or made this up; [it\u2019s] because I have a higher authority\u2014I have the LORD God. See, He created us; He knows what\u2019s best for us. And, when we were born, we were given a life instruction book. The more that we know that book\u2014that Bible\u2014and we put those thoughts\/those Scriptures in our mind, then we have mental file drawers to draw from. When we get in a situation, we\u2019re going to have God\u2019s Word to guide us, to figure out, \u2018What in the world to do next.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. The Bible says, \u201cTrain up a child in the way he should go.\u201d When you think about the way he should go, is that your way?\u2014or is it God\u2019s way? We\u2019re going to talk more with moms about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Ann, I\u2019m just wondering: \u201cThe hardest season for you, as a mom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwas it having preschoolers, having elementary schoolers, having early teens\/late teens? Take those four seasons\u2014and of course, you had kids in different stages at different times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014but was there an era, where you just thought, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can make it through\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I know it; because my son is in that stage, right now, with their baby\u2014it\u2019s the newborn. It was our firstborn, as a newborn. I wasn\u2019t around kids a lot; because I was an athlete, so I was always in sports. I didn\u2019t babysit very much; and as the youngest of four, I wasn\u2019t around babies very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had this baby, and I\u2019ll never forget\u2014our son was six months old\u2014my mom and dad came and took us out to lunch with our baby. I told my dad: \u201cI\u2019ve been in gymnastics, competing for ten years; I was in track for six years; I played tennis for three years\u201d\u2014all competitively\u2014\u201cand I have never\u2014you could combine all those sports together, and it wouldn\u2019t even <em>touch<\/em> how difficult this job is.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSurprisingly enough, the teenage years are actually some of my favorite years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You love those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love those years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The guest, Linda, you\u2019re talking about is Linda Weber, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda was first on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> back when I was 12. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Aw, that\u2019s not true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m kidding; that\u2019s not true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was a few years ago, but not that many!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was 25 years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You had quite a bit of hair; I saw that picture, back then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I saw that picture, too, and wondered, \u201cWhere did that go?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, that picture should be on the website. When people go to listen to this show, they should see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, we\u2019ll put a copy of the picture of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> How funny!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Dennis Rainey, and me, and Linda, 25 years ago, when we were talking about the book you wrote then called, <em>Mom, You\u2019re Incredible<\/em>. Linda has updated and revised and added to that book. The new title is <em>The Eternal Mark of a Mom: Shaping the World Through the Heart of Your Child. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLinda is the wife to Stu Weber. They live in the Pacific Northwest\u2014been married for more than 50 years. They have three sons and ten grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing a mom is something that you found a passion in. Did you find, with Ann, that the first years of motherhood were a challenge for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> They were a challenge. We were in Germany, and had just got there. Within \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t30 days of arriving in Germany, I lost our first child with a miscarriage. My husband was out in the field, and he wasn\u2019t around. I had to go through that all by myself, which was not an easy thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s terrible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> So then, about six months later, I did get pregnant; so we had our first child in Germany. You know, it\u2019s real different over there. We had some hardship to deal with, and you just learn to live with it. I think because I grew up with a mother, who always faced hardship by saying: \u201cGod knows. God will take care. God will take you through this,\u201d I just had a good attitude; because of my mom\u2019s teaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You soldiered on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I soldiered on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the midst of that hardship. Did you ever feel like giving up hope?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I never felt like giving up hope; no. I felt like my hope was in God, and that\u2019s just the way I did look at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there were plenty of other times, being a mom, that you look back\u2014that you wonder, \u201cOh, my goodness! I thought I had prepared this situation to go better than it\u2019s going!\u201d One night, when one of the kids was out\u2014I think he was an early high schooler; he had gone with some friends to the state fair, and I figured they\u2019d be home by nine o\u2019clock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughing] Why did you think nine o\u2019clock?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, they left early in the morning; so I thought, \u201cThey\u2019ve had the whole day, and he\u2019s just a freshman!\u201d So he\u2019s not driving; he\u2019s with somebody else. It was like one o\u2019clock in the morning when we got a call from him, and they were laughing in the background. I was thinking: \u201cWhat is going on?! You haven\u2019t even talked to us. You haven\u2019t told us what\u2019s going on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just thinking all the worst. I was thinking I was a bad mom for not having set him up for a better situation. Of course, nothing did go wrong; but it sure didn\u2019t feel good, as a parent, to wonder: \u201cWhat in the world is going on with my kid out there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019s only a freshman!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If somebody was a new mom and came to you and said: \u201cCan you give me my job description\/my assignment? What is it that I\u2019m supposed to be doing? What\u2019s my job as a mom?\u201d Can you boil that down for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Boiling it down, you have to go back to the Scriptures. You know, the Holy Spirit comes alongside us; and we have to come alongside our children. When you do that, you\u2019re helping think through things with them. You\u2019re helping prepare them, not only in this physical world\u2014but what I like to do is to take moms to the levels below the surface. You\u2019re helping develop how to think ahead; how to be smart; how to have proactive work in your life that is going to be smart, because you\u2019ve let your brain be developed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was an interesting study that you revealed in your book, in 2016, about a mother\u2019s love impacting her child\u2019s brain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve worked on this brain thing quite a bit; because it\u2019s going to help make choices, and we want them to be good choices. We have to go below the surface and help develop their brains. Now, sure, when my first son was just a baby, I would get these books: <em>How to Increase Your Child\u2019s Intelligence<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> He went off to Oxford, and got his advanced degrees, and did well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So whatever you did worked, apparently! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, it says that a mother\u2019s love increased the size of an important part of the brain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, look at you! Does this mean why our kids <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> as smart? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> No, I won\u2019t take any credit for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Our kids are smart\u2014I have to just take that back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m sure they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe brain is very important for us to set up. I might throw in here, too, a piece that using music develops the brain and actually works against mental health issues. I would even start playing the piano at home\u2014they would get into some sort of a discussion about things that weren\u2019t all that good\u2014and I would just go to the piano and start playing and singing and drown them out! [Laughter] I\u2019d do that in the car, too; just drown them out with music. You know, it does work; and now I\u2019m reading research that says it really makes a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us about how you tried to intentionally do spiritual formation with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you do Scripture memory? Did you do family devotions? What did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Lots of different things! And of course, at different ages, you do different things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> When the boys were little, we had these little notebooks\u2014that they each had their own notebook with their own set of colored pencils. We called it \u201cThe Weber Bible Institute.\u201d [Laughter] You know, it was pretty funny\u2014they would say: \u201cRooty toot-toot! Rooty toot-toot! We are the boys from the Institute!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, they were just little guys, like five and three; but they loved it! What we would do is\u2014read a portion of Scripture and then let them draw it on their little books. We still have those books, which are fun to look back to. It was interesting to see what <em>their<\/em> thought was of what we just read\u2014you know, Isaiah 6, and God in the office chair. It was just cool! They developed their concepts from what we would read out loud. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as they got older, of course, things changed. We\u2019re an athletic family, so we\u2019re not sitting around the table, just having dinner every night; because there\u2019s usually practice schedules and game schedules for every sport, all year long. So we would just incorporate it every once in a while where we could\u2014you know, read a devotional; pray; ask them what they were thinking; and \u201c\u201dHow would God fit into the situation we\u2019re talking about now? What would He say?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just kept incorporating it\u2014you know, like Deuteronomy 6 tells us, \u201cAs you sit around, as you walk by the way, as you lie down,\u201d you\u2019re supposed to be passing on God\u2019s words, and we\u2019re supposed to make it obvious to them\u2014to our kids\u2014what God would want. So everything we ever do with our kids, they need to know: \u201cIt\u2019s not just because I said it or made this up; [it\u2019s] because I have a higher authority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u201cI have the LORD God. You see, He created us; He knows what\u2019s best for us. And, when we were born, we were given a life instruction book. The more we know that book\u2014that Bible\u2014and we put those thoughts\/those Scriptures in our mind, then we have mental file drawers to draw from. When we get in a situation, we\u2019re going to have God\u2019s Word to guide us to figure out: \u2018What in the world to do next.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids went to church; they went to youth group; they listened to us every opportunity we had. Now, another good time to pass on words is when you\u2019re taking them to the orthodontist, or you\u2019re taking them to a music lesson or a practice\u2014wherever you are in the car\u2014use those opportunities to speak a word. Make it obvious what God would say about this, that, and the other thing. You don\u2019t have to be obnoxious, you just have to be diligent and really thinking about: \u201cWhat needs to happen?\u201d because you know what\u2019s going on in their life right now, so speak to it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now did you ever find them straying away as they became teenagers? Was there temptation? Did they struggle? How did you walk through those days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, one of the boys was sort of down on himself, like I said, when we were trying to learn tennis. He was down on himself at other times, too. What really brought him\u2014it made a major change\u2014he got chosen. I forget what they called it; but they chose 20 students, who were like leaders in the school. Everybody in the school wrote down a leader, and they took the 20 names that came up most and took them on a retreat\u2014they were called Natural Helpers\u2014that\u2019s what it was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Natural Helpers would tell each other what they liked about the other person. They came home from that retreat just higher than a kite\u2014you know, that they could do anything; because everyone thinks they\u2019re awesome, and they are majorly important people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we\u2019re doing that with our kids, it really changes their spirit. We really saw his spirit change when he went through that weekend. So hopefully we, as parents, can just keep pouring on the positive statements to them\u2014how good they\u2019re doing and how much we appreciate them: \u201cGod has really gifted us with you as our kid,\u201d\u2014you know, on and on and on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When your kids were going through the stage, where our children kind of have to make their faith their own, did you watch them waffle a little bit? Did it make you nervous as they went through that stage? Did they wander off at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, in our case\u2014and every family\u2019s going to be different\u2014we didn\u2019t happen to have the major going-south years, with the kids choosing to just be out of line. We didn\u2019t have to experience that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is there any way to kind of draw our kids out and get them to talk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Ask them questions! Ask them what they\u2019re thinking, and incorporate little things that you can to just build them up in the process: \u201cToday is the first day of the rest of your life. Let\u2019s just start, from scratch, of what we can do now to make things as good as possible.\u201d Don\u2019t beat yourself up for somebody else\u2019s choice, because they do have choices on their shoulders. We do our best, and then they do get to choose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And they live in a world, I think, that\u2019s been unlike any other generation, where comparison and social media is constantly, as you said earlier, right at their beck and call. They\u2019re saturated with comparison and what the world thinks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Right! Our kids don\u2019t know what they\u2019re getting into at times. They\u2019re young; they\u2019re immature. You know, we\u2019re trying to take them from this whole concept of dependence to independence; and yet, we want them, along the way, to know what the dangers are and the consequences. Like the Holy Spirit, we\u2019ve got to be coming alongside these kids, so that we know what they\u2019re thinking\/what they\u2019re being exposed to so that we can take steps against it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda, if you were sitting down with a mom, who says: \u201cI don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m good at this. I mean, I look at other moms\u2014I think they\u2019re natural moms; they\u2019ve got it together. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m made for this. I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m doing harm to my kids, and I don\u2019t know where to turn.\u201d How would you coach that mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t beat yourself up. Let\u2019s just figure out what we can do.\u201d I guess that\u2019s why I wrote this book, because I give them tracks to run on. I give them equipment to know how to go after some things. Hopefully, these moms out there will read the book; and they\u2019ll find ways that they can make a difference in changing, maybe, bad habits or bad patterns, and make a difference in those kids\u2019 lives, ultimately.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting. I\u2019m looking at Page 93 in your book, which is where you put, sort of, a letter that Kent\u2014one of your sons\u2014 wrote to you. I\u2019m thinking, Bob, even as you asked that question, I thought, \u201cWell, every mom can do what Kent says you did for him.\u201d You know? It\u2019s just a mom deciding: \u201cI\u2019m incredible. My mark is eternal, and I\u2019m going to be there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, Kent wrote this when he was headed off to college. Let me just read what he wrote. He says: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver so many opportunities, you chose to be my mom <em>first<\/em>. Bless you for this, Mom. Please believe me; it\u2019s made all the difference. Mom, cheers to you for pouring yourself into me like you have. Thank you for loving me into the person that I am, and for the thousand special touches: for sending Dad my kiddie books in Vietnam so his taped voice could be read to me; for French toast on game days; for being there at every game and every time I came home; for morning glimpses of you in the Scriptures; for your constant affirmations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour love has endowed me with theconfidence, the fearlessness, and the optimism that no kid should go without. You\u2019ve certainly made some sacrifices to give me what I have. I just want you to be reminded of how much you are loved for all you do. Mom, I\u2019m so honored, humbled, and proud to be your son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That was very special. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You still hear those words\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It was very special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I get teary hearing that; because it\u2019s what every mom <em>longs<\/em> to hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, I told him\u2014when he was at Oxford, and we got to go visit him over there\u2014we used some frequent flyer miles to get there. He said, \u201cI just can\u2019t believe my family\u2019s here at a restaurant in Oxford, England.\u201d You know, we could hardly go out to eat when he was growing up, and we didn\u2019t have money to give him. He earned his money there through his tennis; he was a tennis pro for a while, and he was very good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we arrived in Oxford, he was just skin and bones. He didn\u2019t have any money to eat, so he was skinny! And this was not the kid that left our home. My jaw just dropped; I said, \u201cOh, my goodness! Kent, we\u2019re going out for ice cream right now!\u201d [Laughter] You know, all he could think of was maybe a bagel or something\u2014a glass of water. I said, \u201cNo, you\u2019re having something more.\u201d I said, \u201cYou know, Kent, I\u2019m really sorry that, when you were growing up, we just didn\u2019t have any money to take care of you very well\/get you very many things.\u201d He said: \u201cMom! I just want you to know that I\u2019ve had everything I needed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know, he had a grateful spirit. He was thankful; he wasn\u2019t sorry that he had no money to buy himself some food while he was over there. He just had a positive attitude. I\u2019m grateful that they were that way\u2014that they caught the message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a great story you told to us, 25 years ago. It\u2019s kind of that story that I think anybody, who\u2019s ever read your book or heard you speak, when you talk about what you did as your boys got married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! This is what stuck out to me in the first book, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The gift that you gave their brides-to-be\u2014tell everybody about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Okay, well, I felt like it was pretty important that, as they get married, I\u2019m not the lady in charge anymore\u2014of these boys. I\u2019m handing them over to the new daughters-in-law that I\u2019m about to get. I wrote them a poem\u2014it took me probably three or four months to write the first one, in tears\u2014[it\u2019s] \u201dApron Strings\u201d\u2014called \u201cApron Strings.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time another boy got married, I wrote a totally [new] poem\u2014\u201cApron Strings 2\u201d; \u201cApron Strings 3\u201d\u2014just to tell them that: \u201cI\u2019m cutting the cord, and I\u2019m handing this young man to you. He\u2019s not mine anymore.\u201d Then I gave it to them in a framed presentation with some apron strings that had been cut, in the colors of their wedding. I gave it to them, and I just wanted to make a statement that, \u201cI\u2019m, now, not the first lady in [his] life\u201d; that: \u201cYou are.\u201d That\u2019s what I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And what was the power of those poems for your sons and for your daughters-in-law?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, the power was that there was a statement being made that: \u201cI\u2019m not the one: \u2018He needs to go to you now, not to me.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it hard to live up to that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Oh, of course! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just wanted everybody to recognize you didn\u2019t just shadow box some apron strings and go, \u201cOkay, that was easy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> No! I cried for three\/four months, trying to write those poems\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u2014each one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But after they were married, were there times you still wanted to step in and be the number one woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, you want that; but you know that\u2019s not your place now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think it\u2019s not easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It\u2019s not easy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There\u2019s a grieving that takes place, and yet this joy! You\u2019re so happy for them; you\u2019re so excited for them; but there\u2019s also a cutting off\u2014of <em>not <\/em>being the first woman in their life\u2014and it\u2019s appropriate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. Well, the Bible talks about \u201cleave and cleave\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve just got to do it if you want to do it God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; for your sons to have a great marriage, it\u2019s a really an important step to take.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! You know, the research tells us that: \u201cAs long as we\u2019re still trying to control these kids, they\u2019re not free to have a relationship in their marriages and in the life that they\u2019re setting up now.\u201d So we\u2019ve got to step away. It is not easy; it is hard!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014especially since I\u2019m looking at two mothers of only sons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it seems like daughters have relationships with their moms, even after they\u2019re married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in a unique way that mothers of sons don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Has that been hard?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It has been hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to read\u2014can I read \u201cApron Strings\u201d\u2014number one? This is the poem you wrote for Jamie Lynn, your first daughter-in-law; and it reads like this:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese apron strings I give you,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom winding \u2018round my heart,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEntwined around my little boy;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd now they\u2019re cut apart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI give them to you, Jamie Lynn;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBlake\u2019s yours to have and hold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI promise there are no strings attached,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo your love indeed enfolds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat place of being number one, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pass to you, sweet girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlthough he\u2019s special to this mom,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis wife now makes his life swirl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know you\u2019ve got a winner \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn champion Blaker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe feel he\u2019s chosen of the like kind\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo please our great Maker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve prayed for you this man to take;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour vows \u2018til death do part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCommitment to each other \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaks of how you are so smart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when I cut these strings away\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo replace this cord of love,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrapped my heart around you both \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2018Til God calls me from above.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t overlook the future\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWeber generations to come\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose little children announcing, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMommy! Mommy! You\u2019re awesome!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJamie Lynn, we do accept you\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInto our big family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay we seek the God of heaven\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo live each day eternally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love you, Jamie Lynn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to think that\u2014a young wife-to-be\/now, a young wife, as she hears that read at her wedding or at the wedding reception\u2014there\u2019s something there that says, \u201cI\u2019ve been given a great gift; because I\u2019ve been given, not only a husband, but I\u2019ve been given parents, who say, \u2018We recognize that the Bible says, \u201cLeave and cleave and become one flesh.\u201d\u2019 They\u2019re stepping back so that we can form the union that God\u2019s called us to form.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s one of the great, powerful examples of this book; and this is such a great encouragement to moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And <em>you<\/em> are a great encouragement to moms! We\u2019re grateful that you came all the way to be with us, 25 years after you wrote the first book, so that we could talk about this second book. Thanks, Linda.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda\u2019s book is called <em>The Eternal Mark of a Mom.<\/em> It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the conversation we\u2019ve been having this week has really been about the legacy we are leaving, as parents, to our kids. That\u2019s true for dads; but of course, we\u2019ve been focusing on moms this week. We\u2019ve got a dad joining us\u2014the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins. You\u2019ve been listening to this conversation and thinking about the mom in your home, who is shaping the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Oh, man! Yes; I mean, I think of Meg; and I\u2019m so grateful for her. I think of other moms\u2014your role is so unique and special, and your voice is so key in kids\u2019 lives; because you\u2019re the one that, often, they are hearing most frequently from. History is, indeed, being made in your home and in my home, today and every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m so thankful for moms and the unique calling that God has given you to uniquely reflect God in your kids\u2019 lives. But I know the temptation, and I hear the temptation when Meg voices it to me\u2014the temptation to hear lies and shame from the enemy about all the ways you aren\u2019t living up to the phantom perfect mom. The lies are from the pit of hell. God doesn\u2019t ask you to be perfect. He simply asks you to follow Him, and be connected to Him, and pass what you\u2019re receiving from Him to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright! Cheering on the moms today; aren\u2019t you?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Indeed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Way to go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014we want to cheer on some moms as well. In fact, this week, those of you who are able to help with a donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014we\u2019re listener-supported; we depend on your donations\u2014if you can help us with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. That will cheer you on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and donate by phone. Ask for your copy of <em>The Art of Parenting <\/em>by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry today. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and our number is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how moms and dads can work together to win their child\u2019s heart. It\u2019s one of the concepts we talk about in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>. <\/em>I hope you can tune in as we talk to Mike Berry tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:47"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.44M"],"filesize_raw":["26672148"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305419.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305419.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Weber talks to new moms about their important assignment, encouraging moms to believe what the Scriptures tell them about their role. Find out how a mother's love impacts a child's brain.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-10-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Linda Weber believes that it\u2019s important for moms to make sure they\u2019re training their kids, ultimately, to follow God, not just to do what mom says.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Everything we ever do with our kids, they need to know: \u201cIt\u2019s not just because I said it or made this up; [it\u2019s] because I have a higher authority\u2014I have the LORD God. See, He created us; He knows what\u2019s best for us. And, when we were born, we were given a life instruction book. The more that we know that book\u2014that Bible\u2014and we put those thoughts\/those Scriptures in our mind, then we have mental file drawers to draw from. When we get in a situation, we\u2019re going to have God\u2019s Word to guide us, to figure out, \u2018What in the world to do next.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 9<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. The Bible says, \u201cTrain up a child in the way he should go.\u201d When you think about the way he should go, is that your way?\u2014or is it God\u2019s way? We\u2019re going to talk more with moms about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Ann, I\u2019m just wondering: \u201cThe hardest season for you, as a mom\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwas it having preschoolers, having elementary schoolers, having early teens\/late teens? Take those four seasons\u2014and of course, you had kids in different stages at different times\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014but was there an era, where you just thought, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can make it through\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; I know it; because my son is in that stage, right now, with their baby\u2014it\u2019s the newborn. It was our firstborn, as a newborn. I wasn\u2019t around kids a lot; because I was an athlete, so I was always in sports. I didn\u2019t babysit very much; and as the youngest of four, I wasn\u2019t around babies very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had this baby, and I\u2019ll never forget\u2014our son was six months old\u2014my mom and dad came and took us out to lunch with our baby. I told my dad: \u201cI\u2019ve been in gymnastics, competing for ten years; I was in track for six years; I played tennis for three years\u201d\u2014all competitively\u2014\u201cand I have never\u2014you could combine all those sports together, and it wouldn\u2019t even <em>touch<\/em> how difficult this job is.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSurprisingly enough, the teenage years are actually some of my favorite years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You love those years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love those years!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The guest, Linda, you\u2019re talking about is Linda Weber, who joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em> Welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda was first on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> back when I was 12. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Aw, that\u2019s not true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m kidding; that\u2019s not true!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It was a few years ago, but not that many!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was 25 years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You had quite a bit of hair; I saw that picture, back then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I saw that picture, too, and wondered, \u201cWhere did that go?!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, that picture should be on the website. When people go to listen to this show, they should see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright, we\u2019ll put a copy of the picture of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> How funny!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Dennis Rainey, and me, and Linda, 25 years ago, when we were talking about the book you wrote then called, <em>Mom, You\u2019re Incredible<\/em>. Linda has updated and revised and added to that book. The new title is <em>The Eternal Mark of a Mom: Shaping the World Through the Heart of Your Child. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLinda is the wife to Stu Weber. They live in the Pacific Northwest\u2014been married for more than 50 years. They have three sons and ten grandkids. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing a mom is something that you found a passion in. Did you find, with Ann, that the first years of motherhood were a challenge for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> They were a challenge. We were in Germany, and had just got there. Within \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t30 days of arriving in Germany, I lost our first child with a miscarriage. My husband was out in the field, and he wasn\u2019t around. I had to go through that all by myself, which was not an easy thing to do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s terrible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> So then, about six months later, I did get pregnant; so we had our first child in Germany. You know, it\u2019s real different over there. We had some hardship to deal with, and you just learn to live with it. I think because I grew up with a mother, who always faced hardship by saying: \u201cGod knows. God will take care. God will take you through this,\u201d I just had a good attitude; because of my mom\u2019s teaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You soldiered on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I soldiered on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the midst of that hardship. Did you ever feel like giving up hope?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I never felt like giving up hope; no. I felt like my hope was in God, and that\u2019s just the way I did look at it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there were plenty of other times, being a mom, that you look back\u2014that you wonder, \u201cOh, my goodness! I thought I had prepared this situation to go better than it\u2019s going!\u201d One night, when one of the kids was out\u2014I think he was an early high schooler; he had gone with some friends to the state fair, and I figured they\u2019d be home by nine o\u2019clock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Laughing] Why did you think nine o\u2019clock?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, they left early in the morning; so I thought, \u201cThey\u2019ve had the whole day, and he\u2019s just a freshman!\u201d So he\u2019s not driving; he\u2019s with somebody else. It was like one o\u2019clock in the morning when we got a call from him, and they were laughing in the background. I was thinking: \u201cWhat is going on?! You haven\u2019t even talked to us. You haven\u2019t told us what\u2019s going on.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was just thinking all the worst. I was thinking I was a bad mom for not having set him up for a better situation. Of course, nothing did go wrong; but it sure didn\u2019t feel good, as a parent, to wonder: \u201cWhat in the world is going on with my kid out there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019s only a freshman!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If somebody was a new mom and came to you and said: \u201cCan you give me my job description\/my assignment? What is it that I\u2019m supposed to be doing? What\u2019s my job as a mom?\u201d Can you boil that down for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Boiling it down, you have to go back to the Scriptures. You know, the Holy Spirit comes alongside us; and we have to come alongside our children. When you do that, you\u2019re helping think through things with them. You\u2019re helping prepare them, not only in this physical world\u2014but what I like to do is to take moms to the levels below the surface. You\u2019re helping develop how to think ahead; how to be smart; how to have proactive work in your life that is going to be smart, because you\u2019ve let your brain be developed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That was an interesting study that you revealed in your book, in 2016, about a mother\u2019s love impacting her child\u2019s brain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve worked on this brain thing quite a bit; because it\u2019s going to help make choices, and we want them to be good choices. We have to go below the surface and help develop their brains. Now, sure, when my first son was just a baby, I would get these books: <em>How to Increase Your Child\u2019s Intelligence<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> He went off to Oxford, and got his advanced degrees, and did well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So whatever you did worked, apparently! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, it says that a mother\u2019s love increased the size of an important part of the brain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Well, look at you! Does this mean why our kids <em>aren\u2019t<\/em> as smart? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> No, I won\u2019t take any credit for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Our kids are smart\u2014I have to just take that back!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m sure they are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe brain is very important for us to set up. I might throw in here, too, a piece that using music develops the brain and actually works against mental health issues. I would even start playing the piano at home\u2014they would get into some sort of a discussion about things that weren\u2019t all that good\u2014and I would just go to the piano and start playing and singing and drown them out! [Laughter] I\u2019d do that in the car, too; just drown them out with music. You know, it does work; and now I\u2019m reading research that says it really makes a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Tell us about how you tried to intentionally do spiritual formation with your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you do Scripture memory? Did you do family devotions? What did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Lots of different things! And of course, at different ages, you do different things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> When the boys were little, we had these little notebooks\u2014that they each had their own notebook with their own set of colored pencils. We called it \u201cThe Weber Bible Institute.\u201d [Laughter] You know, it was pretty funny\u2014they would say: \u201cRooty toot-toot! Rooty toot-toot! We are the boys from the Institute!\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, they were just little guys, like five and three; but they loved it! What we would do is\u2014read a portion of Scripture and then let them draw it on their little books. We still have those books, which are fun to look back to. It was interesting to see what <em>their<\/em> thought was of what we just read\u2014you know, Isaiah 6, and God in the office chair. It was just cool! They developed their concepts from what we would read out loud. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, as they got older, of course, things changed. We\u2019re an athletic family, so we\u2019re not sitting around the table, just having dinner every night; because there\u2019s usually practice schedules and game schedules for every sport, all year long. So we would just incorporate it every once in a while where we could\u2014you know, read a devotional; pray; ask them what they were thinking; and \u201c\u201dHow would God fit into the situation we\u2019re talking about now? What would He say?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just kept incorporating it\u2014you know, like Deuteronomy 6 tells us, \u201cAs you sit around, as you walk by the way, as you lie down,\u201d you\u2019re supposed to be passing on God\u2019s words, and we\u2019re supposed to make it obvious to them\u2014to our kids\u2014what God would want. So everything we ever do with our kids, they need to know: \u201cIt\u2019s not just because I said it or made this up; [it\u2019s] because I have a higher authority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u201cI have the LORD God. You see, He created us; He knows what\u2019s best for us. And, when we were born, we were given a life instruction book. The more we know that book\u2014that Bible\u2014and we put those thoughts\/those Scriptures in our mind, then we have mental file drawers to draw from. When we get in a situation, we\u2019re going to have God\u2019s Word to guide us to figure out: \u2018What in the world to do next.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids went to church; they went to youth group; they listened to us every opportunity we had. Now, another good time to pass on words is when you\u2019re taking them to the orthodontist, or you\u2019re taking them to a music lesson or a practice\u2014wherever you are in the car\u2014use those opportunities to speak a word. Make it obvious what God would say about this, that, and the other thing. You don\u2019t have to be obnoxious, you just have to be diligent and really thinking about: \u201cWhat needs to happen?\u201d because you know what\u2019s going on in their life right now, so speak to it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Now did you ever find them straying away as they became teenagers? Was there temptation? Did they struggle? How did you walk through those days?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, one of the boys was sort of down on himself, like I said, when we were trying to learn tennis. He was down on himself at other times, too. What really brought him\u2014it made a major change\u2014he got chosen. I forget what they called it; but they chose 20 students, who were like leaders in the school. Everybody in the school wrote down a leader, and they took the 20 names that came up most and took them on a retreat\u2014they were called Natural Helpers\u2014that\u2019s what it was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Natural Helpers would tell each other what they liked about the other person. They came home from that retreat just higher than a kite\u2014you know, that they could do anything; because everyone thinks they\u2019re awesome, and they are majorly important people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we\u2019re doing that with our kids, it really changes their spirit. We really saw his spirit change when he went through that weekend. So hopefully we, as parents, can just keep pouring on the positive statements to them\u2014how good they\u2019re doing and how much we appreciate them: \u201cGod has really gifted us with you as our kid,\u201d\u2014you know, on and on and on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When your kids were going through the stage, where our children kind of have to make their faith their own, did you watch them waffle a little bit? Did it make you nervous as they went through that stage? Did they wander off at all?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, in our case\u2014and every family\u2019s going to be different\u2014we didn\u2019t happen to have the major going-south years, with the kids choosing to just be out of line. We didn\u2019t have to experience that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Is there any way to kind of draw our kids out and get them to talk?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Ask them questions! Ask them what they\u2019re thinking, and incorporate little things that you can to just build them up in the process: \u201cToday is the first day of the rest of your life. Let\u2019s just start, from scratch, of what we can do now to make things as good as possible.\u201d Don\u2019t beat yourself up for somebody else\u2019s choice, because they do have choices on their shoulders. We do our best, and then they do get to choose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And they live in a world, I think, that\u2019s been unlike any other generation, where comparison and social media is constantly, as you said earlier, right at their beck and call. They\u2019re saturated with comparison and what the world thinks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Right! Our kids don\u2019t know what they\u2019re getting into at times. They\u2019re young; they\u2019re immature. You know, we\u2019re trying to take them from this whole concept of dependence to independence; and yet, we want them, along the way, to know what the dangers are and the consequences. Like the Holy Spirit, we\u2019ve got to be coming alongside these kids, so that we know what they\u2019re thinking\/what they\u2019re being exposed to so that we can take steps against it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda, if you were sitting down with a mom, who says: \u201cI don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m good at this. I mean, I look at other moms\u2014I think they\u2019re natural moms; they\u2019ve got it together. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m made for this. I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m doing harm to my kids, and I don\u2019t know where to turn.\u201d How would you coach that mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t beat yourself up. Let\u2019s just figure out what we can do.\u201d I guess that\u2019s why I wrote this book, because I give them tracks to run on. I give them equipment to know how to go after some things. Hopefully, these moms out there will read the book; and they\u2019ll find ways that they can make a difference in changing, maybe, bad habits or bad patterns, and make a difference in those kids\u2019 lives, ultimately.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, it\u2019s interesting. I\u2019m looking at Page 93 in your book, which is where you put, sort of, a letter that Kent\u2014one of your sons\u2014 wrote to you. I\u2019m thinking, Bob, even as you asked that question, I thought, \u201cWell, every mom can do what Kent says you did for him.\u201d You know? It\u2019s just a mom deciding: \u201cI\u2019m incredible. My mark is eternal, and I\u2019m going to be there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes, Kent wrote this when he was headed off to college. Let me just read what he wrote. He says: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver so many opportunities, you chose to be my mom <em>first<\/em>. Bless you for this, Mom. Please believe me; it\u2019s made all the difference. Mom, cheers to you for pouring yourself into me like you have. Thank you for loving me into the person that I am, and for the thousand special touches: for sending Dad my kiddie books in Vietnam so his taped voice could be read to me; for French toast on game days; for being there at every game and every time I came home; for morning glimpses of you in the Scriptures; for your constant affirmations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour love has endowed me with theconfidence, the fearlessness, and the optimism that no kid should go without. You\u2019ve certainly made some sacrifices to give me what I have. I just want you to be reminded of how much you are loved for all you do. Mom, I\u2019m so honored, humbled, and proud to be your son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That was very special. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You still hear those words\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It was very special.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I get teary hearing that; because it\u2019s what every mom <em>longs<\/em> to hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> You know, I told him\u2014when he was at Oxford, and we got to go visit him over there\u2014we used some frequent flyer miles to get there. He said, \u201cI just can\u2019t believe my family\u2019s here at a restaurant in Oxford, England.\u201d You know, we could hardly go out to eat when he was growing up, and we didn\u2019t have money to give him. He earned his money there through his tennis; he was a tennis pro for a while, and he was very good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we arrived in Oxford, he was just skin and bones. He didn\u2019t have any money to eat, so he was skinny! And this was not the kid that left our home. My jaw just dropped; I said, \u201cOh, my goodness! Kent, we\u2019re going out for ice cream right now!\u201d [Laughter] You know, all he could think of was maybe a bagel or something\u2014a glass of water. I said, \u201cNo, you\u2019re having something more.\u201d I said, \u201cYou know, Kent, I\u2019m really sorry that, when you were growing up, we just didn\u2019t have any money to take care of you very well\/get you very many things.\u201d He said: \u201cMom! I just want you to know that I\u2019ve had everything I needed.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know, he had a grateful spirit. He was thankful; he wasn\u2019t sorry that he had no money to buy himself some food while he was over there. He just had a positive attitude. I\u2019m grateful that they were that way\u2014that they caught the message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s a great story you told to us, 25 years ago. It\u2019s kind of that story that I think anybody, who\u2019s ever read your book or heard you speak, when you talk about what you did as your boys got married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes! This is what stuck out to me in the first book, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The gift that you gave their brides-to-be\u2014tell everybody about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Okay, well, I felt like it was pretty important that, as they get married, I\u2019m not the lady in charge anymore\u2014of these boys. I\u2019m handing them over to the new daughters-in-law that I\u2019m about to get. I wrote them a poem\u2014it took me probably three or four months to write the first one, in tears\u2014[it\u2019s] \u201dApron Strings\u201d\u2014called \u201cApron Strings.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery time another boy got married, I wrote a totally [new] poem\u2014\u201cApron Strings 2\u201d; \u201cApron Strings 3\u201d\u2014just to tell them that: \u201cI\u2019m cutting the cord, and I\u2019m handing this young man to you. He\u2019s not mine anymore.\u201d Then I gave it to them in a framed presentation with some apron strings that had been cut, in the colors of their wedding. I gave it to them, and I just wanted to make a statement that, \u201cI\u2019m, now, not the first lady in [his] life\u201d; that: \u201cYou are.\u201d That\u2019s what I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And what was the power of those poems for your sons and for your daughters-in-law?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, the power was that there was a statement being made that: \u201cI\u2019m not the one: \u2018He needs to go to you now, not to me.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it hard to live up to that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Oh, of course! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I just wanted everybody to recognize you didn\u2019t just shadow box some apron strings and go, \u201cOkay, that was easy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> No! I cried for three\/four months, trying to write those poems\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> \u2014each one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> But after they were married, were there times you still wanted to step in and be the number one woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Well, you want that; but you know that\u2019s not your place now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes, I think it\u2019s not easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It\u2019s not easy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> There\u2019s a grieving that takes place, and yet this joy! You\u2019re so happy for them; you\u2019re so excited for them; but there\u2019s also a cutting off\u2014of <em>not <\/em>being the first woman in their life\u2014and it\u2019s appropriate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right. Well, the Bible talks about \u201cleave and cleave\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> And you\u2019ve just got to do it if you want to do it God\u2019s way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; for your sons to have a great marriage, it\u2019s a really an important step to take.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right! You know, the research tells us that: \u201cAs long as we\u2019re still trying to control these kids, they\u2019re not free to have a relationship in their marriages and in the life that they\u2019re setting up now.\u201d So we\u2019ve got to step away. It is not easy; it is hard!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014especially since I\u2019m looking at two mothers of only sons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, it seems like daughters have relationships with their moms, even after they\u2019re married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014in a unique way that mothers of sons don\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Has that been hard?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> It has been hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I want to read\u2014can I read \u201cApron Strings\u201d\u2014number one? This is the poem you wrote for Jamie Lynn, your first daughter-in-law; and it reads like this:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese apron strings I give you,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom winding \u2018round my heart,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEntwined around my little boy;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd now they\u2019re cut apart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI give them to you, Jamie Lynn;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBlake\u2019s yours to have and hold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI promise there are no strings attached,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo your love indeed enfolds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat place of being number one, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pass to you, sweet girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlthough he\u2019s special to this mom,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis wife now makes his life swirl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know you\u2019ve got a winner \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn champion Blaker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe feel he\u2019s chosen of the like kind\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo please our great Maker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve prayed for you this man to take;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour vows \u2018til death do part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCommitment to each other \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpeaks of how you are so smart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when I cut these strings away\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo replace this cord of love,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrapped my heart around you both \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2018Til God calls me from above.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t overlook the future\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWeber generations to come\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose little children announcing, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMommy! Mommy! You\u2019re awesome!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJamie Lynn, we do accept you\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInto our big family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMay we seek the God of heaven\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo live each day eternally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love you, Jamie Lynn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to think that\u2014a young wife-to-be\/now, a young wife, as she hears that read at her wedding or at the wedding reception\u2014there\u2019s something there that says, \u201cI\u2019ve been given a great gift; because I\u2019ve been given, not only a husband, but I\u2019ve been given parents, who say, \u2018We recognize that the Bible says, \u201cLeave and cleave and become one flesh.\u201d\u2019 They\u2019re stepping back so that we can form the union that God\u2019s called us to form.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s one of the great, powerful examples of this book; and this is such a great encouragement to moms.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And <em>you<\/em> are a great encouragement to moms! We\u2019re grateful that you came all the way to be with us, 25 years after you wrote the first book, so that we could talk about this second book. Thanks, Linda.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Linda:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Linda\u2019s book is called <em>The Eternal Mark of a Mom.<\/em> It\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, the conversation we\u2019ve been having this week has really been about the legacy we are leaving, as parents, to our kids. That\u2019s true for dads; but of course, we\u2019ve been focusing on moms this week. We\u2019ve got a dad joining us\u2014the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins. You\u2019ve been listening to this conversation and thinking about the mom in your home, who is shaping the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Oh, man! Yes; I mean, I think of Meg; and I\u2019m so grateful for her. I think of other moms\u2014your role is so unique and special, and your voice is so key in kids\u2019 lives; because you\u2019re the one that, often, they are hearing most frequently from. History is, indeed, being made in your home and in my home, today and every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m so thankful for moms and the unique calling that God has given you to uniquely reflect God in your kids\u2019 lives. But I know the temptation, and I hear the temptation when Meg voices it to me\u2014the temptation to hear lies and shame from the enemy about all the ways you aren\u2019t living up to the phantom perfect mom. The lies are from the pit of hell. God doesn\u2019t ask you to be perfect. He simply asks you to follow Him, and be connected to Him, and pass what you\u2019re receiving from Him to your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Alright! Cheering on the moms today; aren\u2019t you?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Indeed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Way to go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you\u2014we want to cheer on some moms as well. In fact, this week, those of you who are able to help with a donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014we\u2019re listener-supported; we depend on your donations\u2014if you can help us with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. That will cheer you on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com to make a donation online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and donate by phone. Ask for your copy of <em>The Art of Parenting <\/em>by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. It\u2019s our thank-you gift when you support the ministry today. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and our number is 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk about how moms and dads can work together to win their child\u2019s heart. It\u2019s one of the concepts we talk about in the <em>Art of Parenting<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>. <\/em>I hope you can tune in as we talk to Mike Berry tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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