{"id":305366,"date":"2019-09-24T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-09-24T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/your-adult-kids-and-finances\/"},"modified":"2019-09-24T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-09-24T10:00:04","slug":"your-adult-kids-and-finances","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-adult-kids-and-finances\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Adult Kids and Finances"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At what point do you cut your children off financially? Jim Burns cautions parents not to enable their adult children by continually giving them money or bailing them out. Burns also answers challenging questions about adult kids visiting with their significant others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-24.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:26:25","filesize":"24.19M","filesize_raw":"25364525","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2856,2814],"tags":[4103,6739,6480,6732,6738,6740],"podcast_series":[8303],"cwp_profile":[8798],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305366","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-children","category-releasing-your-child","tag-empty-nest","tag-enabling-your-adult-children","tag-helicopter-parents","tag-parents-of-adult-children","tag-stop-supporting-your-adult-children-financially","tag-teaching-your-kids-how-to-handle-money","podcast_series-doing-life-with-your-adult-kids","cwp_profile-jim-burns","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305366\/your-adult-kids-and-finances","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305366\/your-adult-kids-and-finances","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"RiYXxkOJYQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-adult-kids-and-finances\/\">Your Adult Kids and Finances<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/your-adult-kids-and-finances\/embed\/#?secret=RiYXxkOJYQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Your Adult Kids and Finances&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"RiYXxkOJYQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"At what point do you cut your children off financially? Jim Burns cautions parents not to enable their adult children by continually giving them money or bailing them out. Burns also answers challenging questions about adult kids visiting with their significant others.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Back when I was a teenager, there were headlines about what was called the \u201cGeneration Gap.\u201d Author and speaker, Jim Burns, says that same gap between generations still exists today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Whether it deals with money, whether it deals with lifestyle, whether it deals with faith, they are coming from a different generation. The generation right behind them, Gen Z\u2014these are the kids who are just about graduating from high school now\u2014double the percent of atheists, so says George Barna\u2019s latest research. As parents, we are in for some changes here. We\u2019re just going to have to realize that our kids are going to have different views than us, even if they were raised in the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, September 24<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. What is our role, as moms and dads, when our adult children start to think or act differently on matters that are really important to us? We\u2019ll talk with Jim Burns about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Mary Ann and I have not always seen eye to eye\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, that\u2019s a surprise!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014on this particular\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Never thought I\u2019d hear that from Bob Lepine! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh wait, wait; I want to hear what is going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>There will be times when I will see our adult children going through life circumstances and I will think: \u201cYou know, maybe we ought to help them out with a little money. I mean, they have a tough thing coming up\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Hey, you sound like my wife! [Laughter] Have I heard that before!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And Mary Ann will go, \u201cNo!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m with Mary Ann.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cThey need the hard experience, they need to deal with this, and they need\u2026\u201d; and I go\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u201cBut sometimes they need a little help.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You and Bob\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I will tell you\u2014Mary Ann came to me a few months ago and she said, \u201cYou know, at Easter, why don\u2019t we, with all the kids\u201d\u2014because some of our kids are moving this year; they have moving expenses. You know what it\u2019s like when you move from one place to another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cI want to know how much this costs: \u2018Why don\u2019t we what?\u2019\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m not telling how much it costs. \u201cWhy don\u2019t we do a financial gift to each of the kids and just do something as an Easter blessing for them?\u201d When that was her idea, I was like: \u201cAbsolutely. That\u2019s a great idea! We should do that.\u201d We did it, and it was something that the kids were grateful for and appreciated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut this question of: \u201cWhat\u2019s your financial relationship with your adult children?\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>It causes friction in a marriage when you can\u2019t agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> In the Wilson marriage, it causes friction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Well, it\u2019s because my wife wants to do an Easter gift every week! [Laughter] That\u2019s why there\u2019s friction\u2014every week!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have Jim Burns joining us this week on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Jim, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Great to be back. By the way, I want an Easter blessing from you guys\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So do I, Bob! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I\u2019m sending an email right about Easter, just reminding you that I\u2019m your adopted child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, if you\u2019re moving, let us know; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jim gives leadership to HomeWord; he\u2019s an author; he speaks all across the country; he\u2019s been a regular on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> over the years. He\u2019s written a book on doing life with your adult children; the subtitle says it all: <em>Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, how do you deal with this financial connection with your adult kids? Is it hands-off: \u201cYou\u2019re on your own,\u201d or do you help them out from time to time? What do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, you know, when I was a youth pastor, I used to call it \u201cpersonally-tailored discipleship.\u201d I think you actually have to look at each situation differently. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeventy-five percent to seventy-nine percent of people help their adult children at one time or another. The truth is\u2014is that I think we have to keep the end in mind, which is for them to become a responsible adult. I think there are times when we have to back off and not enable them by giving them money; because frankly, that\u2019s going to help them to become or not become a responsible adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014if they\u2019re enabled; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Exactly. I think there are some principles. The principles are: \u201cYou don\u2019t take money that you don\u2019t have to give to your adult children.\u201d I hear this all the time: \u201cWell, we wanted our kids to have a house,\u201d and \u201cTheir dream house\/first house was this dream house\u2014was a lot nicer than ours. We took a second mortgage out of our home, but we\u2019re just now working eight more years.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>That\u2019s not smart. They [parents] didn\u2019t do it that way; they figured out how to have a starter home and then move up. I think we have to be careful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to a group of people, who had capacity\/they had a lot of money. I said, \u201cJust because you have a lot of money, don\u2019t enable your kids by giving them everything; because they honestly will lose the blessing of learning how to be stewards of God\u2019s money.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t have a problem when people do the Easter blessing or things like that. I have a problem, if we\u2019re enabling them so they can\u2019t become responsible adults or responsible with their money. I think there are some very good thoughts, even within both the Christian and the secular world, of keeping your adult children healthy with money. You have to bring it up; you have to talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The enabling issue is a huge issue, but there\u2019s a second part of this; and that is, \u201cWhere your treasure is your heart is.\u201d I heard somebody say that once; right? [Laughter] Jesus said that. When money gets entangled with our kids, it can affect the relationship you have with your kids. You can be setting a booby trap in that relationship that can explode.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>It complicates the situation. I remember my dad\u2014we were moving across the country, and my engine blew. I didn\u2019t have the money\u2014which was, back then, to get a whole rebuilt VW bug engine: $1,000\u2014but I didn\u2019t have it. He sent it to me\/wired me. Then, when we got to seminary, he sent me loan papers; and he expected me to pay it back. In doing that, what he was saying was, \u201cI am glad to help you; however, this is the situation\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere have been other times when I\u2019ve heard of parents who give a sum; and then they\u2019re frustrated with their kids because the kids said they were going to pay them back or the kids are taking advantage. I think part of it is also good communication\u2014have those conversations, up-front, but don\u2019t just take care of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis also is the thing\u2014you talked about it at the beginning. It\u2019s the thing that I think is one of the issues that couples will argue the most about; because you do have one who says, \u201cNo, they need to do this on their own\u201d; the other one says, \u201cNo, we need to be able to give them\u2014we have the money to do it.\u201d This is where we have to get on, as much as we possibly can, on the same page. That means we need some principles in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how do you work out the disagreement? Who wins this battle of the Wilsons on the kids getting money?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m rolling my eyes, because I haven\u2019t won too many of these. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We\u2019re exaggerating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; I think that that conversation has to take place. Honestly\u2014I\u2019m going to be truthful\u2014sometimes I\u2019d like to hide it from Dave of what I do. I think that\u2019s a tendency.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a tendency\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Wow, she\u2019s saying this publicly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ve felt the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I don\u2019t do it, and I\u2019ll bring it to Dave and say, \u201cWhat do you think about this?\u201d He\u2019ll usually be negative at first; but then he\u2019ll mull it over and process it, and then we come to a resolution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I tend to be\u2014and Jim, you talk about this in your book\u2014I tend to be the parent that thinks the harder it is for the son or daughter the better it is. I\u2019m always trying to stay out of the way\u2014almost create adversity\u2014because I know they\u2019re going to grow; and yet there\u2019s a balance, obviously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you write\u2014Chapter 3 is like: \u201cWhy is it taking so long for these kids to grow up?\u201d You know, it\u2019s a different generation in some ways; and sometimes it\u2019s enabling parents. Talk about that\u2014it seems like they\u2019re not growing up like they used to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, they truly aren\u2019t. I mean, we had issues\u2014we had peer pressure, and we had sexual temptations, and all those kinds of things\u2014but this generation of kids\/adult kids, they really are doing it differently. I mean, for one thing, they\u2019re shaped by technology. We use technology; they live by technology\/they work by technology. One out of six people now get married by meeting online, so that\u2019s kind of a norm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Even in terms of how they view money\u2014we were talking about money\u2014but their view of money is different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey <em>meander<\/em> toward responsibility, and we didn\u2019t. I read your outstanding book\u2014I told you this before the broadcast\u2014your book, <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>. You got married really young; Cathy and I got married really young\u2014you immediately become adults, whether you like to or not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>But these kids, today, are <em>meandering<\/em> toward responsibility; they\u2019re <em>meandering<\/em> toward marriage; they\u2019re <em>meandering<\/em> toward parenting, if you would. It\u2019s taking them longer; and sometimes, the finances get in the way. I mean, we didn\u2019t have a choice. Cathy and I got married one week after she graduated from college; and we had to figure out: \u201cHow do we pay for this?\u201d because nobody else was going to pay for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote a book on getting ready for marriage; and I was focusing on a 29-year-old, who was going to get married. Well, by 29, Cathy and I had been married almost 9 years; same with you guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>The fact is that many of the parents\u2014they got married younger, so they didn\u2019t have these experiences today. There are <em>huge<\/em> distinctives. When I was in high school, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t75 percent of the people said they would not cohabitate with someone before or instead of marriage. Today, it\u2019s almost the opposite; and many of those people\u2014you\u2019re seeing this in your church\u2014many of these people are now cohabitating, and they don\u2019t necessarily see something wrong with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fascinating side is\u2014we, as parents, are in shock that our kids are living with these different guys: \u201cBut they\u2019ve been raised with these values\u2026\u201d Whether it deals with money, whether it deals with lifestyle, whether it deals with faith, they are coming from a different generation. The generation right behind them, Gen Z\u2014these are the kids who are just about graduating from high school now\u2014double the percent of atheists, so says George Barna\u2019s latest research.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, we are in for some changes here. We just have to realize that our kids are going to have different views than us, even if they were raised in the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, our job, as parents, when they\u2019re young, is to disciple them; but guess who is also discipling them?\u2014the culture is discipling them. Really, in some cases, the culture has more time, more access, more influence. Their peers often have more access and more influence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo why should we be surprised when, as young adults, they are absorbing the values that they were raised with?\u2014that\u2019s what discipleship does\u2014it points you in a particular direction. As parents, we had a role in that, but not the <em>exclusive<\/em> role in that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m <em>not<\/em> advocating, you know: \u201cMove to the country, cut off the internet, and isolate yourself,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014that strategy doesn\u2019t work. But I do think a lot of parents give up on intentional discipleship of their kids, when their kids turn 12 or 13, and then are surprised when those kids, at age 24\/25, have absorbed cultural values and are living those out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>You\u2019re exactly right. When you use the word, discipleship, one of the things we\u2019ve done is\u2014churches have great children\u2019s ministry, and they have great children\u2019s youth programs. What we\u2019ve done is\u2014we\u2019ve said, \u201cThey\u2019re cool and groovy; we\u2019re not; let\u2019s let <em>them<\/em> do the discipleship.\u201d It\u2019s actually our primary job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>In doing that, we can\u2019t forget that, when you ask kids\u2014and every study shows this\u2014that the most powerful influence in a kid\u2019s life, spiritually, which would also be the morals and values, is actually mom and dad\u2014mom greater than even dad. We can\u2019t give that up; because a lot of those kids, especially in those teen years, they\u2019re almost being bullied to believe something different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about bullying on several levels. They\u2019re being bullied if they come up and stand for what the church believes or is in the Bible; then they\u2019re being bullied by kids, who aren\u2019t necessarily bad\u2014maybe some of the other kids in the youth group\u2014but as parents, it\u2019s our job to help them do that [live out values], but in a loving manner, not in a negative mean-spirited manner. That\u2019s how we disciple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Jump, then, ahead to where your child is 25\/30 years old, single or married, and they\u2019re living out the values of the culture. As a parent, you\u2019re watching this; and they\u2019re going out, drinking with their friends. You\u2019re going, you know: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe didn\u2019t model this for you. Drunkenness was not a part of what\u2014we\u2019ve talked about this\u2014but this seems to be something that is regular with you,\u201d or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou live in Colorado; and you go beyond drunkenness, and now you\u2019re using cannabis\/you\u2019re smoking weed,\u201d or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019ve moved in with somebody,\u201d or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMaybe you haven\u2019t moved in\u2014maybe it\u2019s multiple\u2014you\u2019re swiping right regularly.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, you\u2019re observing this stuff with your kids. Do you bite your tongue, or do you find an appropriate time to say: \u201cYou know, the choices you\u2019re making are not healthy choices for you. They\u2019re out of a values,\u201d and \u201cYou\u2019re headed in a bad direction\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>It\u2019s the conversation that I have almost every day on this subject. I say pretty much the same thing: \u201cDo they know what you believe? Do they know how you feel?\u201d\u2014even going so far as to say, \u201cLook at what the consequences, where this could be\u2026\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there is a time\u2014and some people might disagree with me, and that\u2019s fine\u2014where I think we kind of have to keep our mouths shut and love them; because we\u2019re not going\u2014as you said so eloquently, Bob, earlier, \u201cYou can\u2019t win them by nagging and being preachy,\u201d\u2014so they know how you feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when they come home, if they\u2019re living in your home, then you have some standards. There are some morals and values that are a part of your family that you say, \u201cLook, if you\u2019re live in the home, here\u2019s our basic rules.\u201d You have to actually even give them some leeway on some of that stuff, but there are certain rules and regulations that you have in the home that are a part of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>So your son comes home; he\u2019s living with his girlfriend. Do you let them sleep together in your home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I believe, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>But I think how you\u2019d say it is this\u2014say: \u201cHey, we are so excited to have you guys come. As you know, in our house, that\u2019s not our value. It\u2019s our house, so we\u2019re going to ask you to live in separate rooms. We actually know that you, obviously, don\u2019t do that outside. But we\u2019re so happy to have you, and your favorite meal is such-and-such. Let\u2019s go have that meal,\u201d\u2014kind of move it on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they can\u2019t abide by that, then they can figure out how to get a motel room; or they can go do something else. You\u2019re not breaking the relationship over something that just\u2014you want to scream into the pillow; you want to shout: \u201cThis is so wrong! You\u2019re making big mistakes!\u201d It\u2019s not just because you\u2019re some prude; it\u2019s wrong\u2014not only does Scripture say\u2014but also, the consequences of it are <em>horrible<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would say that\u2019s the same, whether it\u2019s your son bringing his girlfriend home or his boyfriend home. If he\u2019s bringing his boyfriend home, it\u2019s separate rooms; but you still welcome them both in; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I actually believe that. I tell a story in the book about that. We have a member in our family, who\u2019s not a blood relative or whatever; but there\u2019s a gay relationship. He had not had a birthday party for a long time, and so our family had a birthday party for him. Now, he knows what we believe. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a birthday party for him. He even said, after we sang twice to him \u201cHappy Birthday,\u201d he was sitting next to me and he goes, \u201cNow, you guys are Christians; aren\u2019t you?\u201d\u2014meaning, \u201cIf you\u2019re Christian, you don\u2019t do that.\u201d Well, why can\u2019t you have a birthday party for someone who you don\u2019t agree with?\u2014you don\u2019t believe that that\u2019s what\u2019s the best interest for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think we\u2019re going to win anybody by hating on them, so is it possible\u2014and I call this, in the book, to \u201clive in the messy middle\u201d of: \u201cCan we embrace a biblical theology that is, I believe, the words of Jesus and Scripture?\u201d and \u201cCan we, at the same time, love on someone else without compromising our values?\u201d Now, it\u2019s compromising my values in my home if somebody is going to sleep together and they\u2019re not married; so that\u2019s not going to happen, but I don\u2019t have to do that mean-spirited. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had a relative, Cathy\u2019s brother\u2014who\u2019s such a strong Christian now, and he doesn\u2019t mind my saying this\u2014but he was living with his girlfriend. They came to our house. [Earlier] we called them and said: \u201cHey, here\u2019s the situation. We\u2019d love to have you come,\u201d and \u201cIf you don\u2019t feel comfortable\u2014because you know, in our house, you\u2019re not going to sleep together\u2014so you\u2019re going to have to be in a separate room,\u201d\u2014in fact, I think he had to be on the couch, because I think the rooms were full\u2014\u201cBut, if you don\u2019t have the money, we would actually even get a hotel room.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, some people would disagree with that; I totally understand that. But our point was, \u201cWe want you here.\u201d Today, they\u2019re strong believers, who just, \u201cWe can\u2019t believe that\u2019s what we were doing!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>We kind of laugh at it; but we felt part of the witness was to say: \u201cCome, join us. You\u2019re not going to sleep in our house together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think the philosophy here is: \u201cIf your kids have absorbed the world\u2019s values\/if they\u2019re not walking in the faith, you have to think of them like they\u2019re not your kids. They\u2019re like anybody else, who\u2019s not walking in the faith: \u201cHow would you relate to those people?\u201d If they show up at your church, are you going to say, \u201cLook, you know, if this is how you\u2019re living, we don\u2019t want you at our church\u201d? Well no, that\u2019s who you want at your church; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If they show up\u2014if they\u2019re your next-door neighbors\u2014you\u2019re not going to go, \u201cWe can\u2019t be friends with you because this is how\u2026\u201d It\u2019s hard to do, because these are your <em>kids<\/em>; right? Even more important than our kids, these are people created in the image of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>The toughest thing in our culture\u2014it\u2019s always been true, but I think it\u2019s highlighted\u2014and Jim, you talked about the culture that our kids have been raised in, is: \u201cLove is tolerance.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if I say to my neighbor, or somebody coming to my church, \u201cHey, we have standards, but we love you,\u201d they often say, \u201cYou don\u2019t love me, because you just said you have standards\u2014that I am not going to be able to lead in your church\u2014but you want me to come to your church.\u201d At some level, we\u2019re like, \u201cYes, we do have requirements for leadership\u201d; and it sounds unloving. I think our kids can feel the same thing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes, but our goal is to have people come worship the living God. They can go in the parking lot and discuss if the Detroit Lions are better than the Los Angeles Rams\u2014which I\u2019d love to have a conversation with you about that later\u2014but you can have arguments on things and not agree, but you can still agree on the fact that Jesus is Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, there are going to be people, who will never go that way. As soon as you say: \u201cHere\u2019s our standard\u2026\u201d \u201cHere\u2019s our biblical view\u2026\u201d even if you\u2019re doing it with love and care, they\u2019re going to say, \u201cI\u2019m out of here,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the world in which we have to live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You really can\u2019t have an argument about whether the Rams are better than the Lions. I mean, there\u2019s objective data that will spell that out; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Are you on my side, or are you on Dave\u2019s side? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just calling it like it is! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>He\u2019s on your side, Jim. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>And I\u2019d have to agree with both of you, even though I don\u2019t want to. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I was inspired as we\u2019re talking about this\u2014your mom was a great example of loving people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>What was that like? What was <em>she<\/em> like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>\u2014very interesting woman. You know, I have a background more like your husband, Dave\u2014my dad was an alcoholic; my grandfather died of cirrhosis of the liver\u2014so I came from a dysfunctional family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom\u2014because she married Dad\u2014that made her dysfunctional, and they weren\u2019t Christians. But Mom, who later became a Christian, was the most loving, accepting person. People always wanted to be around her; so whether it be as a grandma\u2014she was the party-time grandma\u2014oh my goodness, what my kids got to do, younger\u2014because she passed on\u2014but she was this woman who brought warmth to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talk sometimes about affection, warmth, and encouragement; and that\u2019s a great way of us, whether it be in marriage or parenting. My mom showed\u2014and I learned that from Mom. She showed lots of affection; she showed warmth; meaning, she set a tone that was amazing. I know she didn\u2019t agree with everything that any of us were doing at times, but she still set warmth. She had the ability to say, \u201cHere\u2019s the boundary; here\u2019s how I feel,\u201d and yet, \u201cLet\u2019s go eat some chocolate chip cookies that I just baked out of the oven.\u201d It was remarkable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, her funeral was one person after another getting up\u2014we were shocked, in the family\u2014saying, \u201cYou know, Donna just took me in,\u201d and \u201cI was having this problem\u2026\u201d and \u201cI was living with some guy, and then she said: \u2018You know, you have to get out of there. You can come and stay here,\u2019\u201d and what not. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo my mom learned warmth and how to set a tone, in a way; and then she became an encourager, where she was going to be your best cheerleader. My mom was my greatest cheerleader. You know, for example, I played sports; so my mom would come to my practices. Well, I was embarrassed, sometimes, at Mom\u2014she\u2019d knit at the practices! I mean, who knits at a baseball game? But her <em>presence<\/em> made a difference. I call it the power of being there\u2014Mom knew that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, she didn\u2019t go to one parenting class; I don\u2019t think she ever took a marriage deal\u2014she just did it right. Actually, it was Mom who stayed with the marriage for 53 years; because I\u2019m sure Dad wasn\u2019t an easy guy to hang out with. She continued to see the positive; and she developed, positivity, toward all of us kids, toward anybody she saw, and toward my dad. I think it was a game-changer for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Jesus attracted <em>everyone<\/em>. It didn\u2019t matter who they were or what they did. He was so attractional, I think, because of that very thing. He loved them; He saw them. He didn\u2019t necessarily agree with their lifestyle and pointed them toward Him; but I think there\u2019s an attractional aspect with our adult kids, that they are drawn. We want to draw them in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think the point you\u2019ve made, over and over again, Jim, is: \u201cDo our kids know our values?\u201d and \u201cDo they know we love them?\u201d If they know both of those things\u2014and we can find ways to just demonstrate the love and make sure they haven\u2019t forgotten\u2014I mean, you don\u2019t want to keep nagging; but I think to say to our kids, \u201cLook, you know where we are on this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>What a great word\u2014they know our values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>We don\u2019t have to keep hammering them when they\u2019re 20\/25.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You just say, \u201cYou know where we are, and\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But do they feel\u2014I mean, what a word!\u2014warmth?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>Well, isn\u2019t that what kids want? At the end, even if they\u2019ve violated every value that we\u2019ve tried to teach them, what they really want to know is, \u201cDo you still love me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I actually think there are two levels to that\u2014one is, \u201cMom and Dad, do you still love me?\u201d and also, \u201cGod, do You still love me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim: <\/strong>I mean, God is a God of great discipline boundaries, of course, but also a God of wonderful grace. What God gives us is what we need to give our kids\u2014sure, discipline and some boundaries\u2014but we also need to give them loads of grace and love, because that\u2019s what\u2019s going to\u2014you used the word, Bob\u2014<em>attract<\/em> them back as time goes on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>All of us can use a little coaching, a little reinforcement, a little reminder of these kinds of principles. That\u2019s what your book does for us\u2014it gives us a strategy\/a game plan\u2014that I think we just need to pull a book out, from time to time, and go: \u201cOh yes. Okay, I need to remember that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book is called <em>Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out<\/em>, by Jim Burns. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get your copy. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; our number is 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know some of you are relatively new listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our program first went on the air in 1992, so it\u2019s been awhile; but I run into people all the time who say, \u201cI just started listening six months ago.\u201d I was talking to a police officer in central California not long ago. He said, \u201cI\u2019ve been listening for about a year-and-a-half.\u201d In fact, he said, \u201cYour program has been instrumental in realigning my priorities in my marriage and my family, and ultimately my priorities in my relationship with the Lord.\u201d I had the privilege of being with him the day he was baptized, to celebrate that along with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about that and thinking, \u201cYou know, it\u2019s listeners who make all of this happen. It\u2019s those of you who support this ministry that make that kind of life transformation happen.\u201d We\u2019re so grateful to be in partnership with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, who cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program. Some of you are monthly Legacy Partners; others will give from time to time. Thank you for whatever you do to advance the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help today with a donation, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>. This is a book that kind of goes back to the foundation\/back to the basic principles that are all about how we make life work according to God\u2019s design.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the book is our thank-you gift to you when you make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. It\u2019s easy to do there. Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate by phone. Ask for your copy of the book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>, when you make your donation. Again, thank you for your support of this ministry. We appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue the conversation about how we relate to our adult children and do that in such a way that we preserve the relationship without compromising what we believe. Jim Burns will be with us, again, tomorrow. I hope you can be with us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305366","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305366"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305366"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305366"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305366"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305366"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305366"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305366"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}