{"id":305353,"date":"2019-09-18T06:00:05","date_gmt":"2019-09-18T10:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/new-priorities\/"},"modified":"2019-09-18T06:00:05","modified_gmt":"2019-09-18T10:00:05","slug":"new-priorities","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/new-priorities\/","title":{"rendered":"New Priorities"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Authors Ryan and Selena Frederick talk about the importance of leaving margin in your marriage. Hear about the radical changes they made once they agreed that &#8220;life is short,&#8221; and God needs to come first.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-18.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:55","filesize":"22.81M","filesize_raw":"23915414","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860,2088],"tags":[4007,6720,6726,6728,6727,6729],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9559],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305353","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-romance-and-sex","tag-busyness","tag-fierce-marriage","tag-leaving-margin-in-marriage","tag-making-marriage-a-priority","tag-making-time-for-each-other","tag-putting-god-first-in-marriage","cwp_profile-ryan-and-selena-frederick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305353\/new-priorities","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305353\/new-priorities","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pHTKt4KKvg\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/new-priorities\/\">New Priorities<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/new-priorities\/embed\/#?secret=pHTKt4KKvg\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;New Priorities&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pHTKt4KKvg\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Authors Ryan and Selena Frederick talk about the importance of leaving margin in your marriage. Hear about the radical changes they made once they agreed that \"life is short,\" and God needs to come first.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 18<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Do your priorities need to be reviewed?\u2014maybe, adjusted?\u2014and where does your commitment to one another in marriage fit into that priority structure? We\u2019re going to spend time talking about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So, have you guys spent a lot of time in other countries abroad? Have you travelled worldwide? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> You know, Bob, that\u2019s a point of contention in our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh, is it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t know that. [Laughter] I\u2019m finding it out right now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> My wife\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We have actually\u2014oh, I know\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014Ann loves to travel, and we\u2019ve done a little but not anything like she would like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> We\u2019ve travelled around the world a lot in doing mission trips. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Do you know what that means? Here\u2019s what she is saying: \u201cWe\u2019ve travelled when somebody else pays for it.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Our church does\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Or we raise it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014a summer mission;\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014but if we\u2019re going to go somewhere, I\u2019m Mr. Tightwad. She can\u2019t get me to open the Jaws of Life\/my wallet to go anywhere. [Laughter] That\u2019s the problem; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Why were you asking?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, have you <em>lived<\/em> abroad? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> No. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve never lived abroad. See\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> What about you and Mary Ann? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No; we\u2019ve never lived abroad, and we\u2019ve done some travel. We\u2019ve been able to do some. I like doing it more than Mary Ann likes doing it because she\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> And you open the Jaws of Life? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, on those times when we\u2019re going to travel, we\u2019re just going to make it a special occasion\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and cough up some coin; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Hint; hint! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dave, are you getting this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Hey, you know what? Our 40<sup>th<\/sup>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014is next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I\u2019m coughing up some coin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m hoping somebody will help; but anyway\u2014[Laughter]\u2014actually, we\u2019re going to do something special. We just don\u2019t know where yet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I know one of the things you guys do invest in\u2014an area where you do spend money\u2014is in strengthening your marriage and taking time away to do that. It may not involve exotic travel or some big production; but you take time away, as a couple, to focus on your marriage and invest in your marriage. It\u2019s one of the things we recommend to couples. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m mentioning this, of course, because this week we are offering to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners an opportunity to join us for one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways this fall. We\u2019re going to be in 30-plus locations across the country with <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. If you register this week, you save 50 percent off the regular registration fee; so it\u2019s a bargain; good time to sign up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the getaway or to get registered online. Again, to take advantage of the special offer, you need to get in touch with us this week. The website is FamilyLifeToday.com. You can call if you have questions or if you\u2019d like to register by phone: 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a couple joining us this week who have\u2014they\u2019ve lived in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I mean, they were in Switzerland their first <em>year<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014Switzerland\u2014lived in Switzerland in the first couple of years of their marriage; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> We moved there in the second year of our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in the second year of their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ryan and Selena Frederick joining us again; welcome back, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are the authors of the book, <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em>. They\u2019ve got a blog; the blog is called Fierce Marriage too; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; FierceMarriage.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And we\u2019ve been talking about this book and about principles they\u2019ve learned in marriage. You also had a\u2014was this a big backpack trip you did in Munich at some point? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; so, we went back about three years later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> We went back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> We did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Were you totally healed at this point from your heart surgery? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Pretty much. I had\u2014at that point, I had to do checkups every six months or so. They were just making sure that I wasn\u2019t having backflow issues, in terms of my valve. I do have a hole in my valve still\u2014and there is backflow and stuff\u2014but yes; pretty much healthy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This 18-day adventure in Europe\u2014what did that bring to light for you guys in terms of marriage? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; we hadn\u2019t spent a lot of time together, I think, before that. We had been working. We\u2019d been heavily involved in church\u2014too much\u2014so we hadn\u2019t seen each other. We hadn\u2019t spent a whole lot of time together, and we\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014there was just kind of this underlying frustration, I think, and disconnect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s totally accurate; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> We had thought that we were doing things right\u2014right?\u2014because we were working full time. We had these careers, that were kind of on an upward trajectory, that we were proud of; but then we got to Europe, and we had all this time together. We\u2019re just adventuring together, and our friendship is kind of re-blossoming in new ways. I think we realized that we\u2014our priorities were out of whack. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat created some kind of checkpoints in my own heart. I think God was gracious in that He kind of alerted me to some things. Throughout those 18 days, I started really praying and mulling over things; and going home, I had a few different metrics that I wanted to look at in terms of how I was spending my time. Also\u2014I mean, this to be really clear\u2014I think I was doing 40 to 50 hours a week at work and, then, volunteering 30 to 40 hours a week at church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow; wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014because you\u2019re a worship leader. Yes; they were all <em>good<\/em> things. I think that\u2019s the problem\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014is that they were all good\u2014felt like godly, biblical things that we <em>should<\/em> be doing at this time in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I think you\u2019re hitting on something that <em>all<\/em> couples deal with. We\u2019re so busy\u2014we have kids; we have jobs; we have the demands of church; we\u2019re volunteering somewhere\u2014and that all takes time and energy. Then I think, sometimes, we can look at each other [spouse] and we can say: \u201cWait, who are you again?\u201d and \u201cHow did we drift so far apart?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow would you encourage couples to not go there and how to keep that tight rein on your time, and your schedule, and your relationship? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, the first thing is margin. You have to have margin in your life for what matters; right? Dates are obviously a really important thing, but what\u2019s the point of a date night other than to just get at each other and your friendship?\u2014to give your friendship a unique experience\/a unique shared experience so that you can actually understand, once again, this person that you\u2019ve married, even in a new light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of times, we are so busy and we\u2019re so distracted. Every little moment in our lives is sucked up by social media, Instagram<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, droning along on the internet, working late hours because you\u2019re trying to meet some standard\u2014God knows where it came from; right?\u2014it\u2019s just you\u2019re comparing to whoever else\/their best moments in life; right?\u2014trying to match those all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Right. I think, too, the battle that we face with all these good things is that we kind of order them on a list; right? We have the: God, first; my spouse, second; my kids, third; and church\/whatever after that. I don\u2019t think there\u2019s anything necessarily wrong with the list, looking at it initially; but when we start allowing it to kind of grow in our life and start to take roots, I think the fruit isn\u2019t always what we expected. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> We tend to put God in the silos; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> That\u2019s what causes priority mishaps. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> We get busy; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> These silos in our lives: we have my God life, my married life, and so on; but God should be <em>everything<\/em>\/Jesus should be in everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I was sitting down at lunch with a guy the week before last, and I was saying: \u201cHere\u2019s the way we need to be thinking about life: \u2018What is in the center, and what\u2019s orbiting around what\u2019s in the center?\u2019\u201d I said to him, \u201cFor you, what\u2019s in the center of the circle is <em>me<\/em>,\u201d\u2014he\u2019s in the center of his own circle. He\u2019s trying to order job, marriage, activities\u2014all of this\u2014and it\u2019s all orbiting around: \u201cWhat makes me happy?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I said, \u201cThe challenge for you is that you\u2019ve got the wrong center of gravity with all these planets focusing around it. When God\u2019s in the center; and then you\u2019re looking at: \u201cHow do these things orbit?\u201d\u2014the gravitational pull is not \u201cWhat pleases me?\u201d\u2014but \u201cWhat pleases God?\u201d When you\u2019re thinking, \u201cWhat pleases God?\u201d that throws things into a different orbit than if you\u2019re thinking, \u201cWhat pleases me?\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; the idea of stewardship, I think, is the most clear way that I could describe what you\u2019ve just said. If Christ is at the center, truly, then I am called, as a steward, to care for everything for His glory\u2014right?\u2014for my good and to His glory. Marriage, as an example: \u201cHow can I love my wife, not just so that I\u2019m happy or so that she\u2019s happy, but so that Christ is glorified?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u201cHow can I steward my finances\u2014not so I\u2019m happy\/so I have what I think I need, or my wife has what she thinks she needs, or I think she needs\u2014but how can I steward my finances in a way that glorifies Christ?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we go with the list\u2014or the me-centered model\u2014it\u2019s too hard to manage; but if I just think about Jesus and stewarding things to His glory\u2014man, everything just becomes so clear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When you\u2019re on this backpacking trip through Europe, and you\u2019re starting to recognize that, maybe, some of your priorities have not been in alignment, were you having conversations about this at cafes across\u2014is he bringing it up and saying, \u201cYou know, I\u2019ve started to realize that stuffs not in order\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> He was. Yes; he very much did bring it up. He\u2014I remember you saying, Ryan, that you knew that one day you were going to stand before God and have to give an account for your family, and this was not what you were envisioning\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014and this was not where you wanted to go. There are some things that we need to reexamine\u2014and some directions and some decisions that we need to make\u2014in order to kind of feel like we\u2019re back in that alignment with what God has asked of us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, what were the areas, where you said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got to recalibrate\/we\u2019ve got to reprioritize?\u201d How did your life start to be intentionally different as a result of your 18-day adventure in Europe? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think the church involvement was one because it was coming from a place of: \u201cWe\u2019re seeking our identity from the roles that we\u2019re fulfilling,\u201d\u2014rather than\u2014\u201cThis is who we are, and we want to give to the church,\u201d and \u201cThis is what God is doing in our hearts.\u201d It was a backwards relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had horses at the time. Since he was volunteering, I would just go spend my money\u2014\u201cmy money\u201d\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and ride my horses and spend all the time at the barn, doing whatever I wanted to do. There was a lot of division of our time and our relationship and just emotional capacity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> So, yes, I think time was\u2014like you said, \u201cTime was a huge one.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Our finances\u2014we weren\u2019t stewarding in the best way. That was not a big one for us, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What does that mean? What weren\u2019t you doing that you are doing today? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, the horse thing was way out of balance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did you confront Selena; or Selena, did you already know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think it was a little of both. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I knew that it was heavily out of balance; but I was like, \u201cWe\u2019re making the money, so why does it matter?\u201d He\u2019s like, \u201cWell, we probably should be saving money, too.\u201d We\u2019ve always wanted to give; and \u201cHow can we give if there is no reserves?\u2014or we\u2019re not planning for this or being intentional about it?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; the lack of margin was convicting there, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Then, being in Europe, I think, also, reawakened that sense of urgency in me, having\u2014we went actually back to the hospital. We got to see my surgeon; we sat down for dinner with my surgeon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, really?! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; it kind of reawakened that sense of \u201cMan, life is short.\u201d Getting back, I think we also took a hard look at our careers and \u201cWhere are we on a trajectory that we felt that was living by faith, according to the convictions that God has given us?\u201d That was actually the, kind of, precursor to us choosing to quit our cushy jobs and move to California, where we lived for five years. God did a lot of stuff through that as well; but yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was that a <em>frightening<\/em> step to take? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think\u2014you know, God gives us wisdom. He gives us the ability to think through and plan. It wasn\u2019t this sense of: \u201cI\u2019m just going to quit, and cut bait, and leave.\u201d No; we planned it. God was faithful in helping those plans to work the way we thought they would work. We were able to find part-time jobs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started a business in California, but I tried to start a solo\u2014this is a long story, so I don\u2019t know if I should get into it. I\u2019m\u2014energy engineering is in my background. I was doing a solar design installations company down in California. It was going to be an entrepreneurial thing. I\u2019m raising money and all this stuff, and I never sold a <em>single<\/em> thing. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> But here we are in California! The economy tanked; this was in 2009. We were in Palm Desert. It was like a snowbird area, so nobody cared about their vacation homes; let alone\u2014they were just trying to keep their normal houses\u2014and they didn\u2019t care about putting a $50,000 Solar-Ray on their house; so yes; and God was faithful through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were so many evenings I sat down on our deck in our little apartment in Southern California, just angry; because it\u2019s like: \u201cGod, I\u2019m working my tail off. Where is the provision?\u201d He just looked at me and said: \u201cYou are not your provider; I am. It\u2019s not your mind; it\u2019s not your diligence\u2014none of that is your provider. I\u2019m your provider; deal with it!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2014I felt Him just drop this bomb of peace, really, in my heart; and I finally just let go. At that point, I feel like our priorities started to\u2014finances started to finally fall into place to where Jesus could be the real focus and not so much our own\u2014you know, what we wanted to get out of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I love hearing that because I think that\u2019s what we all long for\u2014is to put Jesus as the main point and the main priority. You guys did that. What does that look like on a daily basis in your walk with God, individually, but also as a couple? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Honestly, I think the way that we have a fierce marriage is by saying, \u201cNo,\u201d to good things in the name of keeping our marriage at its proper place in terms of its health and the health of our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think one thing that we\u2014is kind of a cord of the whole Fierce Marriage ministry\u2014is having this family vision of knowing where\/knowing where God\u2019s kind of leading us. We all have these talents, these spiritual gifts, these abilities: \u201cHow can we steward them well? How can we use them to His glory, especially in parenting? What do we value as a family? What do we hold dear? What is\u2014what is our mission as a family?\u201d\u2014and getting specific about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to glorify God. We want to make disciples; and that means, you know, discipling our children\u2014that\u2019s where it starts. Having a fierce marriage is understanding the things of God\u2014and acting that out and doing that\u2014when it\u2019s hard, when you don\u2019t feel like it, and when you don\u2019t want to. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> That\u2014what you\u2019ve just described\u2014when I mentioned, in terms of saying, \u201cNo,\u201d to good things, it gives us the bandwidth\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014and the margin to actually live that stuff out; because it\u2019s the\u2014busy-ness is by far the biggest, I think, struggle for marriages these days and keeping priorities in place. My dad, who is a psychologist\u2014well, was for 30 years\u2014said: \u201cIt\u2019s not anything related to sex or money; it\u2019s busy-ness.\u201d Priorities\u2014that\u2019s the biggest problem that he sees\u2014patients coming through his practice. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTangibly, how we live that out?\u201d is, again, saying, \u201cNo,\u201d in light of those of our vision. We have an envision statements. With our kids, we envision children who understand the world is a big place in need of a big God. We\u2019re trying to figure out ways to get them exposed to other cultures\/other people that don\u2019t look like them, act like them, talk like them\u2014doing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014have different needs than\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; and have different needs than they have, so that they know that we have a big God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur decisions today should, ideally, be driven by those envision statements that we have. I think it starts at this age, where they are so little\u2014just making time around the breakfast table to sing <em>Jesus Loves Me<\/em> with the ukulele; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s sweet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> And they sing that with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How many of these envision statements do you have? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Oh, not very many. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Like six\u2014I think there are like six. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; we try to keep it simple. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> One of them is, I think: \u201cWe envision a family that welcomes others into our home, and they feel loved and they feel like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cwe\u2019re being kind to them\u201d; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u201cWe envision a family that laughs together,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s one of them. It\u2019s super simple, but laughter is important for building bonds and friendships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Just to speak back to what you are saying about margin and being able to have people over\u2014you can\u2019t do that if you\u2019re constantly busy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014and if you\u2019re constantly, potentially\/maybe, buying into a lie that: \u201cIf I am busy, and doing all of these things, and am a part of all of these things, then people will see me,\u201d and \u201cThey will recognize that we are trying and that we\u2019re a part of this big, old thing\u201d; you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> You\u2019ll just feel that way yourself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> You\u2019ll feel that way; when really, when our\u2014again, when our priorities are mixed up, we have no margin to actually deal with problems, to communicate through them, to have people in our world, and to love on them genuinely without pretense and without any posturing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> So, we\u2019ve definitely chosen to live more slowly. For instance, this is just a really practical way\u2014is that every week: Friday nights are off limits, and Sunday nights are off limits. Friday nights are our time to have fun together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014and really just rest as a family\u2014as a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Usually for us, to make sure it\u2019s not over spiritualized, we just\u2014we have family show nights. We order pizza, and we watch some sort of cartoon the girls are excited about. We laugh, and we just spend time together; in a very rare case would that be interrupted. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSunday nights are the nights that we pull out all the stops for dinner. I\u2019ll usually buy like a really nice cut of meat. I\u2019ll cook it all day long\u2014this process that I have. Then we\u2019ll just enjoy it together, as a family. I\u2019ll pray over the girls, and we\u2019ll talk about Jesus. It\u2019ll be our time to sit around and have meaningful conversation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014just engaging in the Sabbath. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; yes. Then, you know, meals are sacred. Breakfast\u2014gathering around the table is a really important; but then Tuesdays and Thursdays are set aside for, specifically, to bring people into our home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014or to go to other people\u2019s homes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014and we know that. Establishing weekly rhythms, I think, has been a <em>huge<\/em> factor for us\u2014knowing that we have those days to just invite a baseball player over, if you want; or a friend that I met at the gym, or the Y, or whatever\u2014it\u2019s just saying: \u201cHey, we have this time and space. Come; come to our table.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, two questions: One is for the person, who is listening to this and going, \u201cI would love margin, but like to survive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cI\u2019ve got to be going all the time to pay the bills.\u201d What\u2019s your answer to them? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I\u2019ve got another one for you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; that\u2019s hard. I\u2019m not going\u2014I don\u2019t want to over-simplify it. I can\u2019t just say, \u201cDo this or that, and it\u2019ll fix it.\u201d I will say that it\u2019s a long process, living out this vision; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> You have to pray over it. It took us months to write a family vision statement, and it took us <em>years<\/em> to finally get to a place where, \u201cOkay, now, we can start to see how these things are actually going to work themselves out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a couple like that\u2014if I\u2019m talking to somebody, who they are really kind of\u2014they feel like they\u2019ve painted themselves into a corner: maybe, with their debt; they have a house; they have a certain standard of living they are used to holding\u2014I would just question that, say: \u201cWhy?\u2014why do you have that standard of living? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014or \u201cWhy do you feel like you need to have that standard of living?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u201cWhat\u2019s driving that?\u201d\u2014not in an accusatory way but in a sense like\u2014\u201cIf that\u2019s what\u2019s causing you to be trapped, then that\u2019s probably worth questioning. I would question job\u2014for a lot of husbands, they commute in our area. Commutes are horrible\u2014one to two hours one way for some people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsking those hard questions, and then painting the picture, and just trusting that it\u2019s worth it, and walking in faith for months and years until you reach that place; because it\u2019s not going to happen overnight. You\u2019re not just going to flip a switch and, all of a sudden, you have margin. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> But I also love that you brought God into those decisions for you guys\u2014like in terms of changing your lifestyle, you were depending on Him to meet your needs. I think sometimes to bring God into that picture is a really important step\u2014like, \u201cGod, we want to make these decisions because this is important for our family; but we need <em>You<\/em> to come in and provide,\u201d or \u201c\u2026provide a different job.\u201d You know God <em>wants<\/em> to come in and answer those prayers\u2014maybe, not in our timing\u2014but He still wants to be a part of that. I think that\u2019s important. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat was your second question, Bob? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, my second question is: \u201cIf you had never found cheap airfare to Munich, and you hadn\u2019t gone for those 18 days, and you hadn\u2019t started to reconnect, and you had just stayed in the cushy jobs you were in; and today, you had just followed that trajectory\u2014where do you think things would be? How would things be different for you than they are today?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think they\u2019d be very different; but I also think God would have used another situation to get a hold of our hearts and say, \u201cRemember that time that you had\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> He\u2019ll find a way; won\u2019t He?\u2014yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; \u201cRemember that time you had heart surgery?\u2014that was not in vain. There is something that I need to use that has happened to you that has hurt you. I need to use it for My glory; and I want you to remember this, and not forget it, and not be ashamed of it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think it\u2019s worth saying\u2014the thing that drove that decision\/that I thought was driving that decision to quit our jobs and do all that was not the thing that got us to here and now. I think desperation for God and desperation for His purposes; right? We have a need to feel meaningful, and we won\u2019t feel meaningful unless we\u2019re walking alongside, in faith, with the Holy Spirit. We\u2019re not going to feel that sense. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, starting <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em> started from a place of desperation of me\u2014existential-like\/call it a quarter-life crisis\u2014whatever you want to call it\u2014but basically saying: \u201cWhat am I doing this for? I\u2019m just working. It\u2019s meaningless\u201d; and finally, God just said, \u201cHey, use your relationship. Glorify Me,\u201d\u2014there you go. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Thank you, guys. Thanks for spending time. Thanks for defining what a fierce marriage looks like and for being intentional about how you\u2019re living and your purposes. It\u2019s been great to have you here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Thanks for having us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Thank you so much. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> It\u2019s been a privilege to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If our listeners are interested\u2014and I hope they are\u2014in getting a copy of your book, <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em>, we\u2019ve got copies in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to get a copy of Ryan and Selena Frederick\u2019s book, <em>Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ\u2019s Relentless Love<\/em>. Again, order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick reminder\u2014this week, we\u2019re urging you to sign up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. You can get all the information you need about locations for the getaway when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com or you call 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got the president of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, here with us today. This is the kind of event that a couple needs to build into their schedule pretty regularly; don\u2019t you think? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Absolutely; I think the rhythms of getting away for an intentional weekend\u2014it\u2019s just proven how much that affects your marriage and being on the same page. The whole conversation\u2014the series with the Fredericks\u2014around the idea of fierce love seems to boil down to the issue of making intentional choices. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we\u2019re going to love well\u2014the gift of the covenant relationship God has given us\u2014we have to make, sometimes, the difficult choices to orchestrate everything in order to prioritize the people we love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Getting away for a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is one of those unique opportunities. Meg and I <em>love<\/em> doing it. We\u2019ve been before. Each time, we take away something new. I just want to urge you to <em>go<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And I know you\u2019ve got kids\u2014it\u2019s hard to get babysitting; but by the end of the weekend, you go, \u201cWe\u2019re so glad we did this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> Never have I regretted it\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David:<\/strong> \u2014every time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com to register or to find out more; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. We can answer any questions you have about the getaway, and we can get you registered over the phone. Again, the number is 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear Ann Wilson talking to a group of brides-to-be and giving them her best advice on how to get ready for what marriage is going to be like. I hope you can tune to hear her counsel for these young soon-to-be brides. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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