{"id":305350,"date":"2019-09-17T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-09-17T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-a-new-dream\/"},"modified":"2019-09-17T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-09-17T10:00:04","slug":"finding-a-new-dream","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-a-new-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding a New Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ryan and Selena Frederick talk about their early years of marriage when they worked overseas to fulfill Selena&#8217;s dream&#8211;until Ryan&#8217;s health took a turn for the worse. Ryan tells how open heart surgery changed his perspective on life and tested his marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:36","filesize":"26.18M","filesize_raw":"27455897","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860,2088],"tags":[6720,6724,6725],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9559],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305350","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","category-romance-and-sex","tag-fierce-marriage","tag-life-challenges","tag-surgery","cwp_profile-ryan-and-selena-frederick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305350\/finding-a-new-dream","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305350\/finding-a-new-dream","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2Wr3KfS0z7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-a-new-dream\/\">Finding a New Dream<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-a-new-dream\/embed\/#?secret=2Wr3KfS0z7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding a New Dream&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2Wr3KfS0z7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Ryan and Selena Frederick talk about their early years of marriage when they worked overseas to fulfill Selena's dream--until Ryan's health took a turn for the worse. Ryan tells how open heart surgery changed his perspective on life and tested his marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-09-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, September 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I\u2019m Bob Lepine. What kind of changes did Ryan Frederick make in his life and marriage as a result of his second chance? We\u2019ll hear about that from him today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to try to recalibrate how we all think about love today because, honestly, I think we\u2019ve got such an artificial\/such a commercially-sold idea of what love is that we\u2019ve lost the big picture on this whole subject. That gets carried into marriage; and all of a sudden, people have wrong expectations and draw wrong conclusions because they don\u2019t know what love is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is one of the things we try to do at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways\u2014help recalibrate couples so that they understand what they were promising to each other when they promised to love, honor, cherish. I\u2019m mentioning that because, as you\u2019ve heard me say this week, we\u2019ve got a special offer going on for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. If you sign up for one of our upcoming weekend getaways for couples\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014you sign up to attend one this fall, and you can save 50 percent off the regular registration fee as long as you sign up this week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information. These getaways are designed to let you relax, unwind, spend time together, focus on each other, and learn more about God\u2019s design for marriage\u2014strengthen the relationship you have with each other. Again, right now, you\u2019ll save 50 percent off the regular registration fee for the getaway if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can find out more or register, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis weekend away together, like what we\u2019re going to be talking about today, is all about getting a better perspective\/a biblical perspective on the subject of love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s interesting. Here is a word you don\u2019t often couple with the word love: fierce. Think about that; it\u2019s interesting. Ann was once told\u2014this was a couple of years ago\u2014somebody is trying to describe <em>her<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> They said, \u201cHere is the word I think of when I think of Ann: fierce.\u201d When I heard it, I was like, \u201cOh yeah!\u201d I liked it; she got all upset. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> I didn\u2019t get upset. I started asking people, \u201cWhat do you think <em>fierce<\/em> means?\u201d because I thought, \u201cFor a woman, is that the word I want to be described as?\u201d So, I was asking, \u201cIs that a good word or a bad word?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut one of the things I love is the title of this book we\u2019re talking about today: <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; the book is written by Ryan and Selena Frederick, who join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, guys. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Hey, thanks for having us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Glad to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ryan and Selena are the parents of two with a third on the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They live in the Pacific Northwest and big bloggers; right?\u2014like your blog has really blown up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; God has been gracious. It started out\u2014my mom was the only one who read our blog. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Then she shared it with her friends on Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; now, it\u2019s just a bunch of moms. [Laughter] Yes. No; now, I think\u2014I don\u2019t know what the numbers are\u2014but God has been gracious, and it has been fun to be fruitful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Part of what caused your blog to catch on is the story you told about what happened early in your marriage that was\u2014it was determinative for what your marriage would be. We need to paint the picture: you guys got married in the middle of college. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were both sophomores. You just finished your sophomore years: 20 and 21 years old. You are very poor; you were a barista, at the time; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You were a janitor; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Master of the custodial arts. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> There you go! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s good; I like it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you\u2019re squeaking by without a whole lot of money; but there was a job opportunity\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that came up that was right where your heart is; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; yes. There was a job opportunity overseas. We always wanted to go to Europe. That\u2019s what you do\u2014right?\u2014after college, with no money, and student loans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have always enjoyed riding horses and doing the equestrian sport\u2014just some fun, close to my heart. I found a job as a nanny on this private farm that had all these horses that jump things, so they are called jumpers. It looked amazing; it was beautiful. It was in Switzerland. I said, \u201cHey, Ryan, I found this job on the internet.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Now, wait; a nanny for kids? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014for kids. They did have one little girl. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, you\u2019re going to take care of the little girl\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> It\u2019s a private family; yes. It was a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014in Switzerland on a horse farm. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; and I get to ride their horses. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014and train them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, Ryan, what did you think?\u2014like, \u201cThis sounds like a great plan\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; I said, \u201cLet\u2019s do it.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; and I think that caught Selena off guard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What was your part in all of this? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was a tagalong hire. [Laughter] Selena was the real treasure, which is typical; right? But you were going to au pair\/groom, and I was just going to be like a farmhand, basically. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> doing all the dirty jobs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A stable boy\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014is that what you were? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Stable boy; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You had been married a couple of years at this point? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> No; about a year-and-a-half. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> So, we showed up. Once we got passed the jet lag and stuff, we got to work. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> It was hard work. I think we never worked harder for <em>less<\/em> in our entire lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Was it magical and amazing, or was it like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> It was for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> It was for <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And not for you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Not for me. [Laughter] The work was fun, but I think\u2014I was actually sick, and that\u2019s what we talked about in the book. I had\u2014I didn\u2019t realize it, but I had contracted an infection during\u2014it was finals; it was finals week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014finals week. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was staying up way too late, and didn\u2019t realize it, but I had\u2014my heart had got infected. I thought it was just a cough, and it was kind of persistent. It persisted through finals and through the last month before we left. Then we flew out, and I remember being in Copenhagen in the layover. I was just like: \u201cSomething is <em>terribly<\/em> wrong with me. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u201d I was shivering and just couldn\u2019t stop coughing\/couldn\u2019t sleep. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe get there; I thought I was just sick\u2014you know, sleep it off. We got there, and our boss was gracious enough to let us kind of take a day to catch up. I just\u2014I wasn\u2019t getting any better, so I asked if I could go see a doctor. Not wanting to pay for medicine, I got travelers insurance for, I think, $35. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Best $35 we ever spent. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Ooh, baby, yes\u2014best 35 bucks we ever spent. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWent and saw a local physician\u2014he said: \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s wrong with you. You have a blood infection. Something is wrong.\u201d I now know it was a heart infection; they didn\u2019t know that at the time. I just went in for this testing, and they gave me antibiotics and pain killers and got back to work. I got back to work\u2014did that for about two weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Were you getting better? Were you feeling better? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, I felt better. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; he felt great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; then God\u2019s providence\u2014right?\u2014He is good at making these things happen in dramatic ways that show that He is still God\/He is still in control. It was a Swiss Independence Day\u2014it was a holiday. I ran out of my antibiotics, and then it was like the dam broke. All of a sudden, all the infection that had been holding back just\u2014boom\u2014just full force. Very severe fevers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014and very severe\u2014you know, sweating through the night but then, also, chills. I would be shaking uncontrollably. Monday rolls around. Nothing is open because it was their Independence week. I thought, \u201cI will make it through until Tuesday.\u201d That whole day, it was the hot and cold cycles again. I told my boss I couldn\u2019t work. He thought I was a huge slacker\u2014just American slacker; right? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTuesday rolls around, and I call in. They weren\u2019t even open, so I just decided to go to the doctor. I wasn\u2019t going to make an appointment or anything. I get all the way into the clinic, and I burst open the doors. They look at me, \u201cOh, it\u2019s an American kid.\u201d Normally, I would try to speak Swiss-German, which I have kind of a unique\u2014it was a unique experience\u2014all of that was just out the window. I was like: \u201cYou need to help me now. I feel like I\u2019m dying.\u201d They said, \u201cWell, you don\u2019t have an appointment.\u201d [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Oh, wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I said: \u201cI don\u2019t care. You\u2019re going to help me <em>now<\/em>.\u201d They got the point. They said: \u201cWell, your doctor is not here. Your doctor is gone for the week on vacation.\u201d I thought: \u201cOkay; this is great. I am going to die right here in this lobby.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy God\u2019s grace, his practice partner was there. The guy\u2014the other doctor in house\u2014he was there. They said: \u201cOkay; well, he\u2019ll try to fit you in. We\u2019ll take you back to this little room in the back.\u201d There is this metal table. The doctor comes in. He looks at my chart, and he had kind of this puzzled look on his face. He looks at me, and he listens to my heart with a stethoscope. He looks at my chart and then takes another look and then, finally, says, \u201cOkay; we need to get you to the hospital now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did what every red-blooded American husband would have said, \u201cWell, how much is that going to cost?\u201d [Laughter] He looked at me\u2014I\u2019ll never forget this\u2014he said: \u201cIt\u2019s either that or your life. You choose.\u201d I had no idea what was going on at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wow! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Then they went and called Selena, who was doing her thing in the barn. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You knew that your husband had walked to the doctor\u2019s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You figured he had the flu? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u201cHe\u2019ll be back later.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So, when you get a call that they are taking him to the hospital? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; my boss came in and said: \u201cUh, Ryan is sick. We need to go to the hospital.\u201d I was like: \u201cHospital? Why do we need to go there? Maybe, they need to keep him overnight or something. I don\u2019t know,\u201d\u2014just kind of, again, 22\/23-year-olds, \u201cIt\u2019s fine.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Invincible; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; invincible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Ryan, what happened, then, at the hospital? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; they got me into the hospital. They decided to do an ultrasound; because they had to find out what was going on with my heart, because they heard the murmur. Sure enough, they saw right there, on my mitral valve, there was a bacterial growth about two-and-half centimeters long, just flapping around like a flag flying in the wind. They said, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve got to figure this out now.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey tried to do some antibiotics and stuff, but essentially they said\u2014they called the state hospital of Zurich\/the head of cardiology for Switzerland. They said: \u201cWe have this American kid. He\u2019s not on our\u201d\u2014they are socialized medicine\u2014\u201cHe\u2019s not Swiss, and he is 22 years old. What do we do?\u201d They said: \u201cWe don\u2019t care what it costs. Get him here as soon as you can.\u201d We got in an ambulance and drove across town. Selena was there in all of her horse stuff, totally covered in mud; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did they wind up doing surgery that day? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Well, they went there. They basically put me on a cocktail of antibiotics, because they didn\u2019t know what strain of bacteria it was. It took too long to get a culture going, so they did that for a week. It was already\u2014it had grown, I think, to 2.7 centimeters at that time. They said: \u201cWe\u2019ve just got to open you up. It\u2019s not\u2014we don\u2019t have time because it could break off and cause a stroke or loss of limb.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Wait; you\u2019re 23 years old, having heart surgery in Switzerland? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> You had been married a year-and-a-half. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Mom and Dad are back in the States? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> They flew out\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014once he was in the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014state hospital. They did fly out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> So, what happened? How scared were you guys? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think we still had that: \u201cOkay, so, surgery is the next step and then recovery.\u201d You just kind of assume that you are going to be okay. You assume that: \u201cHe\u2019s just going to have a long surgery. There\u2019s going to be this time of recovery; and then we\u2019ll probably go home after that,\u201d\u2014I\u2019m assuming\u2014\u201cback to the States.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You didn\u2019t lapse into fear? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> No, not too much; only because I don\u2019t think I knew the severity of the situation. My mom is a nurse, and I think she didn\u2019t want to scare me with the probability of him\u2014I mean, they were honest with us and said that open heart surgery is a big deal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I knew that there were risks, but I think we were just so young and na\u00efve in terms of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014the mortality and the\u2014you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yet, you say, in the book, when you wake up after that surgery, it\u2019s a moment that changes everything. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> That\u2019s when it really hit, and I woke up. I cracked my eyes open: \u201cI have another chance at life.\u201d I thought\u2014I thought that was over. I had given up hope because, at that point, you have to go in, thinking: \u201cThis is\/could be the reality. I\u2019ve accepted that. I hope for more.\u201d That\u2019s when, I think, that realization\/that appreciation really kicked in. From then on, there\u2019s been this sort of urgency to life. I kind of feel like I was given a second chance. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re [Selena] still kind of happy-go-lucky: \u201cI\u2019m sure it will be okay\u201d? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, I was just like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ll meet you in the morning.\u201d I get very just kind of task-oriented\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; I get it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014in crazy situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u201cOkay, what\u2019s the next step?\u201d\u2014and that kind of keeps me sane. I think, during surgery, I listened to worship music; and I was journaling; and I was just praying to God that he would come out. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s kind of when it hit me more\u2014was while he\u2019s just under the knife. You\u2019re just sitting there, waiting and waiting to hear either way. I think I had a hope and general peace; but again, I think it was the aftermath that really showed me the gift of life that God has given us, and how big and invasive the surgery was, and how the recovery was years and not just\u2014and it wasn\u2019t just like your body healing. It was us learning to heal and be together again, because he was very changed after that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was a different person, personality-wise\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014very impatient\/very angry\u2014I was angry at God, and that bled into our marriage. I was angry at Selena for small things. I think we learned how to communicate through that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014for weeks or\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I\u2019d say months. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; for sure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> It was just learning how to be his wife again, I think, and learning who he was after this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Did that scare you, Selena, that this is the new normal? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I had an underlying hope. Again, I\u2019m, \u201cThis just must be God\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re an optimist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cgrace.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes; you are an optimist. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> I think I am an optimist because I thought: \u201cWell, he\u2019ll come back around eventually, maybe; hopefully. [Laughter] God, please!\u201d But it took longer than I expected, I think; and that was very challenging to walk through. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think one part of it\u2014that maybe why you felt that kind of sense of unshakeable hope is\u2014we\u2019ve always been so committed to our covenant. I think that has been part of our DNA, even since that dating DTR talk in that car\u2014is that we knew we weren\u2019t\u2014you knew I wasn\u2019t going to go anywhere. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I knew that you weren\u2019t going to go anywhere\u2014that I could be a jerk, and you would still stick around; and we could work through it together. Then, I think, our friendship is what kind of helped us to work through\u2014boots on the ground\u2014get through some of the harder stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong> Did you know that you were being a short-tempered jerk? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; I remember fighting so vividly, even at the hospital; because, you know, when you are post-op like that\u2014and you\u2019re prone to this\u2014so I have a heart defect that actually caused this infection to happen. Every time they check on you, it\u2019s another chance of finding\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014something wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014another thing wrong. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I wanted to go home. I felt like I was ready to go home after a week. The doctor was just like, \u201cThere is no way you\u2019re going home.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I was ready to get on a plane; so there was bitterness there, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> As you walk out of this, and you start your new life, there\u2019s this tenacity. Is that where fierce comes into your story? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; that whole experience is very representative, I think, of how God works in us; right? We\u2019re all kind of broken and have this brokenness in our hearts. He physically and, very literally, had that; but we all come in with sin in our hearts. We keep taking medicine to kind of keep everything at bay; but we need the Heart Surgeon to come in, with His skilled hands, and bring healing and bring that ability, I feel like, to be fierce and stay together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe say it takes a fierce tenacity that never gives up and never gives in. When he\u2019s\u2014when you said that Ann was fierce, I was like: \u201cYes! Awesome!\u201d That sounds so awesome to me because I think we give up too soon, as a generation. We don\u2019t fight longer; we\u2019re just too ready to jump ship and go to the next thing. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s an idol of pleasure\/an idol of pride or fear, but I think that it does take a fierceness and tenacity that God gives us to be able to walk with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> I think, yes; I love everything you said. I think fierce is really\u2014when you think of love, you don\u2019t think of apathy; right? You think of\u2014you care deeply, and there is a fierceness there. If you love something deeply, you are going to fight for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s where that word, fierce, came from for us\u2014is that we realized that: \u201cYes; there\u2019s that trend\u2014people tend to be more apathetic to their covenant.\u201d We\u2019re saying: \u201cNo; this is worth fighting for. Fight for your marriage like everything is at stake; because, in a lot of ways, it is\u2014everything is at stake.\u201d That\u2019s where that fierce tenacity\u2014it never gives up; it never gives in\u2014comes from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> I also read\u2014I\u2019m not putting words in your mouth\u2014I saw this coming out of your book\u2014the fierceness of the heart of God for <em>us<\/em>: the gospel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> That\u2019s what I think, too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Talk about that, because the gospel is a big part of what you describe <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014being centered on. What does that mean? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Oh, it changes everything. I mean, I mention, I think, at one point, 1 John 4:19\u2014that \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d Now, if we actually get what the gospel is\u2014for a long time in our marriage, we didn\u2019t even understand the gospel. I don\u2019t think we heard the first\u2014like the true full gospel until just five\/six years ago. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes; a lot of it was based on us\u2014and kind of what we do and how we can achieve in some ways. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Right; I have this mental picture of: \u201cIf we see our sin for what it is and we see God for who He is, it creates this immense chasm\/this need for an arbiter\u2014somebody to bridge that gap\u2014the bigger that gap, the bigger the Savior.\u201d The more accurate view we have of yourself, the more accurate view we have of God\/the more accurate view we have of Jesus; and therefore, we accept His love in an astounding way when you say, \u201cI am so utterly lost and not deserving and, yet, You\u2019ve still given that to me.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we write about a lot\u2014or we\u2019ve said, at least, a few times\u2014is we think, \u201cHow could I possibly hold my spouse\u2019s sin against them if God has not held my sin against me?\u201d\u2014right? That\u2019s what I mean when I say a fierce tenacity or a fierce gospel; right?\u2014when you think about the gospel being fierce, rather\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014is it\u2019s this idea that: \u201cI\u2019m loved so much. How can I not love my spouse in return?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mentioned 1 John 4:19 a couple of times which, by the way, is on our wedding invitation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes; I love that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> When we sent out our invitation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Really? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014back\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Love it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201440-plus years ago, that was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Love it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014the verse for us: \u201cWe love because He first loved us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going through 1 John in church. It\u2019s interesting\u2014John starts that letter and he says: \u201cHere is the goal. I want you to have fellowship with us and with God.\u201d Then he says, \u201cSo, for that to happen, here is the message. The message is: \u2018God is light, and in Him, there is no darkness at all.\u2019 God is holier than you realized.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> So good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And then he goes, \u201cAnd sin is a bigger deal than you realized.\u201d He goes into this whole section about: \u201cIf you say that you are a child of God, and you are walking in darkness, you don\u2019t understand sin. You have to confess your sin.\u201d He goes\u2014but then he gets to this point\u2014he says: \u201cMy little children\u201d\u2014he said\u2014\u201cI\u2019m writing this to you. I want you to know that you have an advocate before the Father, who is there, pleading your case.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTim Keller makes this point, and this was brilliant. I mean, this was one of those things that I was just, \u201cWow.\u201d He says, \u201cThe advocate, who is pleading our case before the Father\u2014He is not asking God to be merciful toward us.\u201d He said, \u201cHe is asking God to be just toward us.\u201d He said: \u201cGod has been merciful in sending His Son. Now\u2014when the accuser comes and says, \u2018But this\u2014this is what they\u2019ve done,\u2019\u2014the advocate says: \u2018Yes; but, Father, the price has been paid; remember? We don\u2019t take a second debt. Justice demands that You let them go.\u2019\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have the just\u2014in fact, he says: \u201c\u2019We have an advocate, \u2018Jesus Christ, the righteous\u2019\u2014that\u2019s how John describes Him.\u201d Then he says: \u201cHe points to His own propitiation. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not only for our sins, but for everybody\u2019s sins.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn says: \u201cYou want fellowship with God?\u2014here is where it starts. God is more holy than you realize; sin is a real deal, and God\u2019s made a way to fix that.\u201d That message of the gospel, which is about how we can have fellowship with Him; but John goes on, and he says, \u201cAnd that\u2019s how we have fellowship with one another.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s why, as you bring this into the marriage\u2014understanding the gospel rightly\u2014spills into every human relationship we have\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and reshapes every human relationship we have. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Absolutely; and I think that starts with identity\u2014right?\u2014understanding that exact principle: that Jesus is asking God to be just, and He is being just; and it is <em>done<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> It\u2019s finished; my identity is secure. What 1 John says is: \u201cWe are walking in the light as He is in the light; and you will have fellowship, and you will be cleansed from all unrighteousness.\u201d There is\u2014fellowship and purity are to be had on the other side of walking in the light. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spent a lot of our last few months and the last year thinking through, \u201cWhat does it mean, as a married couple, to actually walk in the light?\u201d\u2014right?\u2014\u201cAnd not fool ourselves and call God a liar or make light of our sin and call God a liar\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cbut actually walk and be transparent with each other\/to live in transparent community with others.\u201d It all comes from identity in Christ; because if you don\u2019t have security in Christ, you\u2019ll never be comfortable confessing sin to each other; nor will you be comfortable forgiving sin if you\u2019re not secure in Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Ultimately: \u201cFierce marriage is gospel-anchored marriage,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> Absolutely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Amen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that\u2019s what you are saying. That\u2019s the theme of the book\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Selena:<\/strong> Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that you guys have written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to change the name now. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I like this name. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann:<\/strong> Me, too; I love it! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Even fierce Ann likes it. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em>, in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order the book from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. The subtitle is <em>Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ\u2019s Relentless Love<\/em>. Order your copy of <em>Fierce Marriage<\/em> by Ryan and Selena Frederick when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u2014800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t forget\u2014this week is your final opportunity to sign up to attend an upcoming FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup><em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway and save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. We\u2019re making this offer available to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners this week. If you register for one of our upcoming getaways this week, you save \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t50 percent, per couple, off the regular registration fee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to be hosting these getaways in more than three dozen cities across the country, and you can find out more about when a getaway is happening in a city near where you live or a city you\u2019d like to travel to. Find out more, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. Register online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY with questions or if you\u2019d like to register by phone. Again, save 50 percent off the regular registration fee. Attend an upcoming getaway for couples\u2014the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u2014and invest in your marriage this fall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope you\u2019ll join us back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about a radical reprioritization of a marriage and a family relationship\u2014the time in Ryan and Selena Frederick\u2019s life, where they had to say: \u201cWhat are we here for? What is this all about? How does our schedule need to change? How do our priorities need to change if we\u2019re really going to honor God in how we live as a couple?\u201d We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305350"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305350"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305350"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}