{"id":305147,"date":"2019-07-10T06:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-07-10T10:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/living-on-mission\/"},"modified":"2019-07-10T06:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-07-10T10:00:04","slug":"living-on-mission","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-on-mission\/","title":{"rendered":"Living on Mission"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aaron and Jennifer Smith believed from day one that God had called them together, but the difficulties in their first few years had them wondering if they might have been mistaken. Despite their early challenges, they believed they were joined together for a mission, and they remind us to invest in the kingdom of God, starting in our own families.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-07-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:54","filesize":"25.54M","filesize_raw":"26785853","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901,2844,2088,2831],"tags":[6670],"podcast_series":[8287],"cwp_profile":[9544],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-305147","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","category-pornography","category-romance-and-sex","category-wives","tag-marriage-after-god","podcast_series-marriage-after-god","cwp_profile-aaron-and-jennifer-smith","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/305147\/living-on-mission","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/305147\/living-on-mission","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"J5lLvle5Um\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-on-mission\/\">Living on Mission<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-on-mission\/embed\/#?secret=J5lLvle5Um\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Living on Mission&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"J5lLvle5Um\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-07-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-07-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If somebody asked you if the two of you, as a couple, are in ministry, how would you answer that? Aaron Smith says we need to be rethinking our definition of what \u201cin ministry\u201d means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>I want to elevate all the menial things that people think aren\u2019t ministry, because our life in Christ <em>is<\/em> ministry. We are the building blocks of the church with the things that God\u2019s given us\u2014with the passions that He\u2019s created us with\/with the special giftings and talents that we just naturally have, that someone might not even think is a talent. That\u2019s right where ministry happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Every married couple that is in Christ is also in ministry. The question is: \u201cWhat does that look like for us?\u201d We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Would you guys say that, for most of your marriage, you have seen one another as teammates\u2014that you\u2019ve been working together for something bigger than just the two of you?\u2014or has that ebbed and flowed? How does that work for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I actually believe that\u2019s one good thing about our marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014from day one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Wait; there\u2019s only one good thing? [Laughter] What was that comment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Well, there might be two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Thanks, hon; that\u2019s good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>No; I mean, we talk so often about our struggles and\u2014even when we were doing some articles on the Fox News thing\u2014the comments that came in were: \u201cDo you guys have anything good in your marriage? All you talk about\u2026\u201d [Laughter] So when you said that, Bob, I thought: \u201cYes, from day one,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014I feel like she\u2019s my best friend. I mean, yes; we struggled, but we are partners. We understood that from day one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And we always felt like, \u201cThere\u2019s a mission for us.\u201d What we have found, lately\u2014is because a lot of our friends are becoming empty-nesters\u2014what they\u2019re discovering is, \u201cWait, we had this mission of raising these kids together, and now we feel kind of lost.\u201d I think couples are wondering that: \u201cAre we supposed to be together? What does that look like? Is there a plan for us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think back to when Mary Ann and I got married. I think we thought the mission was: \u201cHave kids, and raise the kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Certainly, that\u2019s a big part of\u2014I mean, we had five kids; you guys had three kids\u2014but when you have kids, discipling those kids is a <em>huge<\/em> part of the mission\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That is a call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and maybe the most important part of the mission that you\u2019re in\u2014but it\u2019s not the exclusive part of the mission.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have a couple people nodding their heads very vigorously as we\u2019re talking about this. [Laughter] Aaron and Jennifer Smith are joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019ve written a book that\u2019s really all about this whole idea\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Marriage After God<\/em>. Aaron and Jennifer have a podcast; they both blog\u2014you blog at <em>Unveiled Wife<\/em>, and you blog at <em>HusbandRevolution.com<\/em>. Again, we have links on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if folks want to check out your blogs and your podcasts and all that\u2019s available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Marriage After God<\/em> really comes out of the fact that your early struggles in marriage helped point you to the fact that marriage was about something bigger than just the two of you. The thought that you need to do marriage with a bigger purpose\/with a mission\u2014that\u2019s revolutionized how you do life together; hasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; in every aspect. When you realize that your unity with another person\u2014this marriage\/this thing that God invented on day six\u2014you know, your perspective is no longer: \u201cWhat\u2019s going to make me happy?\u201d \u201cHow can we just make our lives comfortable?\u201d \u201cHow can we spend our money on us?\u201d <em>Everything<\/em> now turns into: \u201cWell, what does God want? What does He want with our marriage? How does He want us to raise our children? How does He want us to use our home, our cars, our money, our relationships, our resources, our education?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe call this the toolbelt in the book; we explain that every single person in the body of Christ has been given a toolbelt to be used to build God\u2019s kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>It doesn\u2019t matter what age or how long you\u2019ve been married. You mentioned empty-nesters; but just as someone\u2019s going into marriage, or maybe has been married five years, or is an empty-nester\u2014the same message applies. We wanted to encourage couples to use their marriage\/their team, as a husband and wife, to fulfill what God has for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Talk about that, because you have young kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Four of them, you know. [Laughter] Four of them, all under six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How are you doing it, as a family, on mission?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>I\u2019ll speak for me. Understanding what you already mentioned, Ann, that I have just as much of a role to play as my husband does. Being at home with the kids, I am investing in them\u2014and their view of God and our purpose, together, as a whole family\u2014just as much as he does: working and, also, being dad and husband, and all the responsibilities that he has. It is a teamwork mentality that you need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>When you realize that there\u2019s a larger mission at hand and that God\u2019s given us unique opportunities\u2014you know, we talk often about the body of Christ and the hand can\u2019t say to the eye, \u201cI don\u2019t need you.\u201d We all have an opportunity\/we all have a responsibility to invest in the kingdom of God with the things He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our marriage, our marriage is our first ministry. It starts there, and then our children are our second ministry. Then thirdly, our ministry in the body of Christ and, then, the representation that we are to the world. You can\u2019t get that out of order\u2014so my wife being at home and raising our children; me being dad, and working, and doing Bible time with the kids, and being a huge part of discipleship of their hearts\u2014we recognize that there\u2019s an order to that. If you get it out of order, it doesn\u2019t matter how much ministry you\u2019re doing outside the home if the ministry inside the home\u2019s failing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know the name, Josh McDowell\u2014you\u2019re familiar with that name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Josh is a writer and has been known, for years, as an apologist. We did an interview with him, years ago, and he made a shocking statement\u2014he said: \u201cI tell people, all the time, my ministry is number one; it comes before everything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then he said: \u201cMy number one ministry is to my wife. My number two ministry is to my kids,\u201d and gave the same kind of circles. He said, \u201cThat\u2019s how I think about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought: \u201cHe\u2019s right. We need to view our relationship with one another as a ministry to one another; our relationship with our kids as ministry to and with them; and then in the church; and then outside of the church. I think those circles are helpful for parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s just define what we\u2019re talking about when we talk about mission and ministry; because I think most people think mission and ministry is what people, who are in full-time ministry, are supposed to do and the rest of us may have a ministry compartment that we pull out, from time to time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014we get engaged in that. You\u2019re saying all of life is about ministry. Explain: \u201cWhat are we talking about when we talk about ministry?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, if you are a Christian, your whole life is a ministry; right?\u2014just like Christ\u2019s life was a ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019re actually, with this book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, we\u2019re trying to break this mentality that we\u2019ve gained. The natural progression of the church is that there\u2019s these handful of roles, and those are the ministries. They\u2019re necessary; but then we forget that we all, every single one of us, have been given gifts by the Spirit for the mutual upbuilding of the church and for the body of Christ. We don\u2019t get to sit back and just watch someone else do it: \u201cUnless I have this title\u2026\u201d \u201cUnless I\u2019m in this position\u2026\u201d \u201cUnless I get a check for it, I\u2019m not in ministry.\u201d That\u2019s a lie that Satan has perpetrated in the church\u2014is that I can sit back and let other people do the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we say, \u201cministry,\u201d we truly believe that, as believers, our vocation\u2014we call it, in the book, our \u201cheavenly vocation\u201d\u2014is building the body of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>It starts with my marriage\u2014we talked about it. If my ministry to my wife\u2014that\u2019s the first place I get to <em>practice<\/em> ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>How do you do that? How do you minister to Jennifer? What\u2019s that look like, practically?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Well, specifically, I\u2019m called to love her as Christ loves the church; so my first role is a sacrificial love\u2014it\u2019s putting her first\u2014above my children, above my work, above my hobbies. Those things don\u2019t get precedent. It\u2019s ministering to her on a daily basis\u2014encouraging her, speaking the Word of God to her, preaching to her\u2014the things that I would do to a stranger and would be called to do; right? If I don\u2019t do it to my wife, what business do I have doing it to a stranger?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Jennifer, what\u2019s an example? What\u2019s something that Aaron\u2019s done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, one of the first things that I think of is just, at night, sometimes he\u2019ll bring out the Word of God and just read something and make sure that I\u2019m listening. If I\u2019m on my phone, he\u2019ll ask me to put it away; so just that leadership in that one single moment. It defines our marriage, and it encourages us in the Word of God; so that\u2019s just one way that he leads me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And you respond well\u2014you\u2019re not saying: \u201cDon\u2019t tell me what to do! I\u2019m on my phone!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>No; I want him to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>My flesh doesn\u2019t agree sometimes\u2014especially being with the kids all day\u2014I want to justify and say, \u201cThis is the only time I get to be on my phone!\u201d; [Laughter] but it\u2019s so much more important to put it down and be with him, and listen, and be edified together in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Aaron, what\u2019s something that Jennifer\u2019s done that you think, \u201cWow; this is really\u201d\u2014like: \u201cYou\u2019re ministering to me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>She\u2019s <em>constantly<\/em> encouraging me on how I can disciple my children well, reminding me: \u201cHey, remember their hearts,\u201d \u201cHow could you, today,\u2026?\u201d As a father, who\u2014my mind is constantly on providing and other things\/you know, ministry in the church\u2014she draws me back and reminds me of my role as a father. She\u2019s helping me in that way be a good discipler of my children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it doesn\u2019t feel like nagging; it feels like encouragement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Sometimes, it does. [Laughter] This is the reality of\u2014even if she is being naggy, I have to remember that she loves me and she\u2019s on my team. The reason she\u2019s saying it, in the first place\u2014is not because she\u2019s mad at me or because I\u2019m failing\u2014but it\u2019s for the benefit of our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have to give each other grace in the midst of how we live this out and learn, and grow, and get more mature along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think your point\u2014here\u2019s where all of us need to say, \u201cThe reason I\u2019m here\/the reason God put me on planet earth is to have a role in advancing His kingdom,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s job one. Now, how that\u2019s going to get lived out for each of us is going to be different, according to the gifts, like you talked about, that God\u2019s given\u2014the passions and desires. One person may say: \u201cI want to do that by bringing an end to human trafficking,\u201d \u201cI want to do that by helping people who don\u2019t have water in Africa have access to water.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s going to be a myriad of different ways, and that\u2019s the richness of the body of Christ\u2014that it is a myriad of different ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we\u2019re all thinking: \u201cOkay; that\u2019s job one. Now, in the midst of that being job one, how does that get lived out?\u201d Well, first of all, there\u2019s evangelism; discipleship in the family, as you said: \u201cLet\u2019s have the rings, right: marriage; then family; then our local church, and how we\u2019re serving one another in the body of Christ; and then outside of that\u2014how we interact with our world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have settled in on marriage and family being the thing that you think God\u2019s calling you to as your specific field of ministry. How did that emerge as: \u201cThis is what God wants us to be doing\u201d?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>We just said, \u201cYes.\u201d It didn\u2019t start off, thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a ministry; we\u2019re going to write books.\u201d I just asked my wife, \u201cHey, you like to write,\u201d\u2014she has a gifting of writing. I said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you write to help <em>you<\/em> navigate things God\u2019s teaching us?\u201d I had a gifting in technology and creating blogs from the history of jobs I\u2019ve had. I said, \u201cI\u2019ll make you a blog,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s, literally, how it started.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>So it\u2019s Aaron\u2019s fault. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>It just happened to be about our marital stuff, because that was the thing that God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re passionate about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014He used it in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, as a pastor, trying to mobilize a congregation\u2014to do more than come and sit and be a spectator\u2014but to be the army. I\u2019ve always said, \u201cHere\u2019s how you know what your calling is, and you have a calling just like I have a calling.\u201d People, again, think a calling is full-time vocational ministry\u2014no; every believer has a calling. I always say this: \u201cWhat\u2019s in your heart? What\u2019s in your hand?\u201d\u2014which means\u2014\u201cWhat are you passionate about? What are you good at?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s a tool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You guys just illustrated it. You\u2019re passionate about marriage and family; you\u2019re good at these things\u2014bam, there you go to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always say this\u2014it\u2019s a joke at our church now: \u201cOh, Wilson\u2019s going to say his famous little statement again,\u201d which is this\u2014and you\u2019re doing it; I hope we\u2019re all doing it\u2014\u201cMake a dent where you\u2019re sent.\u201d You know, it rhymes, so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s cute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>It\u2019s good; it\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But here\u2019s the question people ask whenever I say, \u201cMake a dent where you\u2019re sent.\u201d They will come up\u2014and I had to finish it\u2014because I heard this so many times, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not sure where I\u2019m sent.\u201d You know what the answer is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u201cWhere are you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019re sent where you are\u201d; because they think: \u201cOh, I have to be sent to Africa,\u201d \u201cI have to be sent to be a missionary or a pastor.\u201d No; you are sent to your neighbor to be the light of the world. You guys are doing that\u2014it\u2019s so beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf couples, and marriages, and families could get this idea that there\u2019s a <em>mission<\/em> that God put us, together, to impact the world; but it starts with the neighbor next door. They don\u2019t have to write a blog or a book\u2014they <em>may<\/em>, if that\u2019s what they\u2019re good at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me ask you this: \u201cHow have you seen God use you, locally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, I would just start with our friendships in the local fellowship that we\u2019re a part of. They\u2019re encouraged by us, and we\u2019re encouraged by them\u2014and being faithful to building up those relationships. It takes those small \u201cYes\u201d-es of spending time together or doing things for another\u2014like babysitting, or providing food when someone\u2019s in postpartum, or whatever those little things are. It does help build up those relationships; and it builds trust, and it helps model what the light of Christ is through our family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>I would say that our life online and our life in person is the same\u2014where integrity, and transparency, and the things that we talk about and share about and proclaim\u2014it\u2019s our job to live it. You can talk about it, and say it, and proclaim it, and not live it; and you\u2019re a liar or a hypocrite. So, our heart is to <em>live<\/em> the way we preach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat goes back to the way I\u2019m loving my wife and the way I disciple my children\u2014it\u2019s my petri dish\u2014it\u2019s what God\u2019s given me to learn, and grow, and be sanctified in how to minister for Him. So when I go to others and disciple, I\u2019m going to disciple\u2014with the same fervor, the same vigor, the same gentleness and truth\u2014that I would disciple my child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to recognize, like you said\u2014where we are, and what God\u2019s given us is what He wants us to use. We bring up the parable of the talents in Matthew 25 and the picture of the three servants that come to the master. This is Jesus telling this story. The three servants are called. He gives them: one\u2014five, one\u2014two, and one\u2014one. He says, \u201cI\u2019m going to go away.\u201d All of them are servants, and he gives each one of them according to their ability; so one\u2019s given according to his ability, the other according to his ability, one according to his ability. The master comes back and asks the same thing of each one of them, \u201cWhat have you done with what I\u2019ve given you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all need to take this. We do <em>not<\/em> want to be the one, who is given the one talent, and think to ourselves, \u201cWell, I was only given the one and you\u2019re a scary person and a hard master; and therefore, I did <em>nothing<\/em> with what you\u2019ve given me.\u201d We want to be faithful with what He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t say that Jennifer and I have been given five\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019ve been given\u00a0 what is according to our abilities. That means that the Master intimately knows us\u2014what we\u2019re capable of and what we can do with His property. We\u2019re stewards. My children, my wife, our fellowship, our neighbors, our home, our cars, our resources, our hard stories from the past\u2014we\u2019re all stewards of those things\u2014and \u201cHow are we going to invest them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019ve had a lot of women come up to me and say: \u201cIt feels like my husband\u2019s doing this ministry\u2014he feels called to this\u2014I\u2019m doing another ministry. It feels like we\u2019re going separate ways. Does God have a mission for us, together, in marriage; or can our mission be in separate areas?\u201d What do you think about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>I think the important thing is that you guys are on the same page\u2014that you\u2019re communicating, that you\u2019re praying about it, that you\u2019re submitting it to the Lord, and that you\u2019re not walking in it with discontentment or frustration that: \u201cThis person\u2019s over here, and I\u2019m over here.\u201d If you\u2019re choosing to walk in different ministry roles\u2014being supportive of each other doing that\u2014or one person saying: \u201cI\u2019m going to pursue that later. I\u2019m going to come join you and support you in what you\u2019re doing right now; then maybe, if God allows it, I\u2019ll come back to that thing.\u201d The important thing there is just being\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014unified.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>\u2014unified. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014and talking about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Well, and if there\u2019s contention or jealousy or it\u2019s a combative relationship, where: \u201cNo; I\u2019m doing my thing tonight, and you have to cancel yours,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m doing my thing tonight, and you have to cancel yours,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re both wrong. There has to be unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it\u2019s two different things, that\u2019s totally fine. This is not about, \u201cWe have one specific mission,\u201d\u2014no; the mission is God\u2019s mission. It\u2019s <em>how<\/em> we do it. You can do those two missions\/those two ministries, wrongly. I quote Isaiah, \u201cDon\u2019t sacrifice\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cyour marriage on the altar\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014\u201con the altar of ministry.\u201d We can say\u2014we\u2019ve seen families do this: \u201cI\u2019m in ministry, so either get behind me or leave.\u201d I\u2019ve seen husbands leave to go do \u201cministry.\u201d You know what? I don\u2019t want to be that man, standing before God one day. I want to be the one that said, \u201cI\u2019m going to do it Your way, God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Here\u2019s one other question; I\u2019d love to hear you respond to this. Talk to the couple, whose spouse is not interested in ministry or God\u2014she is or he is\u2014they want marriage after God. Their husband\u2019s not interested; their wife\u2019s not interested. How do they negotiate that? What do you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Be praying for them, because their salvation is more important than anything at that point. Your ministry is their salvation, so it\u2019s the way you interact with each other\/it\u2019s the way that you respond and love that person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cBut I\u2019m so disappointed. What do I do with that?\u201d Again, I\u2019m talking for that, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>No; you\u2019re right. There\u2019s this feeling of, \u201cWell, see; I must have married the wrong person.\u201d Well, you\u2019re married; so we get to yield our hearts to what the Scriptures say about our marriage, not what we say about our marriage. Once someone gets ahold of God\u2019s heart and says, \u201cOkay; this is what God wants\u2026\u201d To be honest, if my wife wasn\u2019t a believer, and my heart was where it is now, the only ministry I would care about would be her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember sitting in a room\u2014this was many, many years ago\u2014with a Christian leader, who was explaining that her marriage was a source of great physical pain to her. It was impeding her ability to do the ministry that God had called her to. The conclusion she came to was, \u201cSo I must sacrifice my marriage in order to keep doing the ministry God\u2019s called me to.\u201d Well, she missed the whole point of what you\u2019re saying, which is: \u201cThe number one ministry God had called her to was in her marriage and with her husband\u2014even in the midst of that pain\u2014to persevere, and to love, and to figure out how that\u2019s going to work out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had the wrong priority structure\u2014and this was not a case where she was being physically abused\u2014that\u2019s not what we\u2019re talking about. The pain she was dealing with was pain related to stress that she was feeling. It was kind of clinical pain that she was dealing with. I sat there and thought, \u201cYou\u2019re trading the wrong thing.\u201d In fact, what happened was\u2014she did divorce her husband, and the ministry floundered. She lost her public ministry, in part, because she traded in the wrong thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I have to be honest; there were many times, as a pastor, that I\u2019ve felt like my wife and my kids are hindering my ministry: \u201cThey\u2019re needy,\u201d [Laughter] \u201cThey want me home,\u201d \u201cI have meetings,\u201d \u201cI have sermon\u2026\u201d\u2014I\u2019m not kidding\u2014I had those thoughts! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat God reminded me is: \u201cThey are your number one disciples. You are <em>not<\/em> going to stand before God someday and be accountable for your church members, but you will be held accountable for your family.\u201d Now, does that mean Ann\u2019s not accountable for her own walk with God?\u2014and my three sons? They are accountable, but there\u2019s a sense that they are under my ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s why God said, \u201cAdam, where are you?\u201d in the Garden, because He was calling Adam out, saying, \u201cYou were responsible here\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I think this has been helpful in clarifying for listeners, who are thinking about: \u201cWhat\u2019s our life supposed to look like? What\u2019s our marriage supposed to look like?\u201d There are some folks, who are just saying, \u201cOur marriage is in such a <em>mess<\/em> that to think about ministry\u2026\u201d [Laughter] Part of what we\u2019ve said to those couples is: \u201cYou can minister in the midst of the mess. Your marriage doesn\u2019t have to be perfect and all cleaned up. Yes; you should be working on it and growing, but you know what? Part of the way you do this\u201d\u2014I\u2019ll never forget a story I heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA couple had come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. They found Christ at that getaway. In fact, they were part of a motorcycle gang.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Hey, I like this couple. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So they thought, \u201cWe need to share this with the people in our motorcycle\u2014but our marriage is such a mess, we can\u2019t share it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe said: \u201cNo! Just go and tell them what you heard.\u201d They went and did, and two things happened. First of all, many of their friends found Christ. Secondly, their marriage got <em>better<\/em> in the process of them just ministering in the midst of the mess. That\u2019s part of God\u2019s design for how their marriage was going to grow stronger\u2014was for them to say: \u201cLook, we\u2019re in a mess. We don\u2019t know the answers, but we think they\u2019re here.\u201d God opened folks up to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really hope a lot of our listeners will get a copy of your book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, and really talk together about, \u201cWhat\u2019s God want for us, as a couple?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, thank you for being here. Thanks for sharing all of this with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Thank you so much for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Thanks for having us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>By the way, we are making your book available this week to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Those of you, who have been listening to our conversation this week with\u00a0 Aaron and Jennifer, if you\u2019d like a copy of the book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, it\u2019s our gift to you this week when you help support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our radio program is listener-supported. It\u2019s folks like you\u2014regular listeners\u2014who donate so that this program can continue to be heard in your community, on your local Christian radio station, or via the internet, all around the world. You make that possible when you donate to support the production and syndication of this program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you <em>Marriage After God<\/em> by Aaron and Jennifer Smith. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-F-LTODAY to donate. Be sure to indicate that you\u2019d like a copy of the book, and we\u2019re happy to send it to you. Thanks for supporting the ongoing work of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I have to confess that, when I came to FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, more than 25 years ago, I didn\u2019t really understand how central marriage and family are to God\u2019s purposes and plan for His kingdom on earth. That\u2019s been made more clear to me through conversations like the one we\u2019ve had today. David Robbins, who\u2019s the President of FamilyLife, is here with us. This is a big idea that we need to understand. Marriage and family is a <em>big<\/em> part of God\u2019s design for His kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I <em>love<\/em> the Smiths\u2019 call to action for every marriage to be on a mission and just to simply start where you are. It reminds me of Acts 17:26, when it says, \u201cAnd He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on the face of the earth; and God determines the allotted periods of times and the exact boundaries or locations of their dwelling place, so that some may come to know Him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach one of us has been placed by God in our home, with our families, to have a profound impact inside of our home and, also, to be able to impact homes around us\/to reflect Jesus to the world around us. Just start where we already are! He allotted those boundary places; He marked the time for us to live near people, or work with people, or go to an exercise class with the people that we\u2019re around. Do it out of who you uniquely are: \u201cWho are you?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the unique gifts you have?\u201d Do it with the people that He\u2019s already put around you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I just reflect on this conversation; and personally, I\u2019m a little convicted\u2014like: If I want to change the world, let me go home and let me love my family well. Out of that place, people will see Jesus and the ways of Jesus through us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are ambassadors for Christ; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Good word. Thank you, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners can be back with us tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about how important it is for us, as parents, to let our boys be boys. Mark Hancock from Trail Life USA will be with us, and we\u2019ll have that conversation. I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:54"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.54M"],"filesize_raw":["26785853"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-305147.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-305147.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Jennifer Smith believed from day one that God had called them together, but the difficulties in their first few years had them wondering if they might have been mistaken. Despite their early challenges, they believed they were joined together for a mission, and they remind us to invest in the kingdom of God,&hellip;","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-07-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If somebody asked you if the two of you, as a couple, are in ministry, how would you answer that? Aaron Smith says we need to be rethinking our definition of what \u201cin ministry\u201d means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>I want to elevate all the menial things that people think aren\u2019t ministry, because our life in Christ <em>is<\/em> ministry. We are the building blocks of the church with the things that God\u2019s given us\u2014with the passions that He\u2019s created us with\/with the special giftings and talents that we just naturally have, that someone might not even think is a talent. That\u2019s right where ministry happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, July 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Every married couple that is in Christ is also in ministry. The question is: \u201cWhat does that look like for us?\u201d We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Would you guys say that, for most of your marriage, you have seen one another as teammates\u2014that you\u2019ve been working together for something bigger than just the two of you?\u2014or has that ebbed and flowed? How does that work for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I actually believe that\u2019s one good thing about our marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014from day one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Wait; there\u2019s only one good thing? [Laughter] What was that comment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Well, there might be two.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Thanks, hon; that\u2019s good! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>No; I mean, we talk so often about our struggles and\u2014even when we were doing some articles on the Fox News thing\u2014the comments that came in were: \u201cDo you guys have anything good in your marriage? All you talk about\u2026\u201d [Laughter] So when you said that, Bob, I thought: \u201cYes, from day one,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014I feel like she\u2019s my best friend. I mean, yes; we struggled, but we are partners. We understood that from day one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And we always felt like, \u201cThere\u2019s a mission for us.\u201d What we have found, lately\u2014is because a lot of our friends are becoming empty-nesters\u2014what they\u2019re discovering is, \u201cWait, we had this mission of raising these kids together, and now we feel kind of lost.\u201d I think couples are wondering that: \u201cAre we supposed to be together? What does that look like? Is there a plan for us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think back to when Mary Ann and I got married. I think we thought the mission was: \u201cHave kids, and raise the kids.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Certainly, that\u2019s a big part of\u2014I mean, we had five kids; you guys had three kids\u2014but when you have kids, discipling those kids is a <em>huge<\/em> part of the mission\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>That is a call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and maybe the most important part of the mission that you\u2019re in\u2014but it\u2019s not the exclusive part of the mission.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have a couple people nodding their heads very vigorously as we\u2019re talking about this. [Laughter] Aaron and Jennifer Smith are joining us, again, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Thank you for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They\u2019ve written a book that\u2019s really all about this whole idea\u2014it\u2019s called <em>Marriage After God<\/em>. Aaron and Jennifer have a podcast; they both blog\u2014you blog at <em>Unveiled Wife<\/em>, and you blog at <em>HusbandRevolution.com<\/em>. Again, we have links on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if folks want to check out your blogs and your podcasts and all that\u2019s available there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Marriage After God<\/em> really comes out of the fact that your early struggles in marriage helped point you to the fact that marriage was about something bigger than just the two of you. The thought that you need to do marriage with a bigger purpose\/with a mission\u2014that\u2019s revolutionized how you do life together; hasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; in every aspect. When you realize that your unity with another person\u2014this marriage\/this thing that God invented on day six\u2014you know, your perspective is no longer: \u201cWhat\u2019s going to make me happy?\u201d \u201cHow can we just make our lives comfortable?\u201d \u201cHow can we spend our money on us?\u201d <em>Everything<\/em> now turns into: \u201cWell, what does God want? What does He want with our marriage? How does He want us to raise our children? How does He want us to use our home, our cars, our money, our relationships, our resources, our education?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe call this the toolbelt in the book; we explain that every single person in the body of Christ has been given a toolbelt to be used to build God\u2019s kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>It doesn\u2019t matter what age or how long you\u2019ve been married. You mentioned empty-nesters; but just as someone\u2019s going into marriage, or maybe has been married five years, or is an empty-nester\u2014the same message applies. We wanted to encourage couples to use their marriage\/their team, as a husband and wife, to fulfill what God has for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Talk about that, because you have young kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Four of them, you know. [Laughter] Four of them, all under six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>How are you doing it, as a family, on mission?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>I\u2019ll speak for me. Understanding what you already mentioned, Ann, that I have just as much of a role to play as my husband does. Being at home with the kids, I am investing in them\u2014and their view of God and our purpose, together, as a whole family\u2014just as much as he does: working and, also, being dad and husband, and all the responsibilities that he has. It is a teamwork mentality that you need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>When you realize that there\u2019s a larger mission at hand and that God\u2019s given us unique opportunities\u2014you know, we talk often about the body of Christ and the hand can\u2019t say to the eye, \u201cI don\u2019t need you.\u201d We all have an opportunity\/we all have a responsibility to invest in the kingdom of God with the things He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our marriage, our marriage is our first ministry. It starts there, and then our children are our second ministry. Then thirdly, our ministry in the body of Christ and, then, the representation that we are to the world. You can\u2019t get that out of order\u2014so my wife being at home and raising our children; me being dad, and working, and doing Bible time with the kids, and being a huge part of discipleship of their hearts\u2014we recognize that there\u2019s an order to that. If you get it out of order, it doesn\u2019t matter how much ministry you\u2019re doing outside the home if the ministry inside the home\u2019s failing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know the name, Josh McDowell\u2014you\u2019re familiar with that name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Josh is a writer and has been known, for years, as an apologist. We did an interview with him, years ago, and he made a shocking statement\u2014he said: \u201cI tell people, all the time, my ministry is number one; it comes before everything.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then he said: \u201cMy number one ministry is to my wife. My number two ministry is to my kids,\u201d and gave the same kind of circles. He said, \u201cThat\u2019s how I think about this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought: \u201cHe\u2019s right. We need to view our relationship with one another as a ministry to one another; our relationship with our kids as ministry to and with them; and then in the church; and then outside of the church. I think those circles are helpful for parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s just define what we\u2019re talking about when we talk about mission and ministry; because I think most people think mission and ministry is what people, who are in full-time ministry, are supposed to do and the rest of us may have a ministry compartment that we pull out, from time to time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014we get engaged in that. You\u2019re saying all of life is about ministry. Explain: \u201cWhat are we talking about when we talk about ministry?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, if you are a Christian, your whole life is a ministry; right?\u2014just like Christ\u2019s life was a ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; we\u2019re actually, with this book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, we\u2019re trying to break this mentality that we\u2019ve gained. The natural progression of the church is that there\u2019s these handful of roles, and those are the ministries. They\u2019re necessary; but then we forget that we all, every single one of us, have been given gifts by the Spirit for the mutual upbuilding of the church and for the body of Christ. We don\u2019t get to sit back and just watch someone else do it: \u201cUnless I have this title\u2026\u201d \u201cUnless I\u2019m in this position\u2026\u201d \u201cUnless I get a check for it, I\u2019m not in ministry.\u201d That\u2019s a lie that Satan has perpetrated in the church\u2014is that I can sit back and let other people do the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we say, \u201cministry,\u201d we truly believe that, as believers, our vocation\u2014we call it, in the book, our \u201cheavenly vocation\u201d\u2014is building the body of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>It starts with my marriage\u2014we talked about it. If my ministry to my wife\u2014that\u2019s the first place I get to <em>practice<\/em> ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>How do you do that? How do you minister to Jennifer? What\u2019s that look like, practically?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Well, specifically, I\u2019m called to love her as Christ loves the church; so my first role is a sacrificial love\u2014it\u2019s putting her first\u2014above my children, above my work, above my hobbies. Those things don\u2019t get precedent. It\u2019s ministering to her on a daily basis\u2014encouraging her, speaking the Word of God to her, preaching to her\u2014the things that I would do to a stranger and would be called to do; right? If I don\u2019t do it to my wife, what business do I have doing it to a stranger?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Jennifer, what\u2019s an example? What\u2019s something that Aaron\u2019s done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, one of the first things that I think of is just, at night, sometimes he\u2019ll bring out the Word of God and just read something and make sure that I\u2019m listening. If I\u2019m on my phone, he\u2019ll ask me to put it away; so just that leadership in that one single moment. It defines our marriage, and it encourages us in the Word of God; so that\u2019s just one way that he leads me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And you respond well\u2014you\u2019re not saying: \u201cDon\u2019t tell me what to do! I\u2019m on my phone!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>No; I want him to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>My flesh doesn\u2019t agree sometimes\u2014especially being with the kids all day\u2014I want to justify and say, \u201cThis is the only time I get to be on my phone!\u201d; [Laughter] but it\u2019s so much more important to put it down and be with him, and listen, and be edified together in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Aaron, what\u2019s something that Jennifer\u2019s done that you think, \u201cWow; this is really\u201d\u2014like: \u201cYou\u2019re ministering to me\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>She\u2019s <em>constantly<\/em> encouraging me on how I can disciple my children well, reminding me: \u201cHey, remember their hearts,\u201d \u201cHow could you, today,\u2026?\u201d As a father, who\u2014my mind is constantly on providing and other things\/you know, ministry in the church\u2014she draws me back and reminds me of my role as a father. She\u2019s helping me in that way be a good discipler of my children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it doesn\u2019t feel like nagging; it feels like encouragement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Sometimes, it does. [Laughter] This is the reality of\u2014even if she is being naggy, I have to remember that she loves me and she\u2019s on my team. The reason she\u2019s saying it, in the first place\u2014is not because she\u2019s mad at me or because I\u2019m failing\u2014but it\u2019s for the benefit of our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have to give each other grace in the midst of how we live this out and learn, and grow, and get more mature along the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think your point\u2014here\u2019s where all of us need to say, \u201cThe reason I\u2019m here\/the reason God put me on planet earth is to have a role in advancing His kingdom,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s job one. Now, how that\u2019s going to get lived out for each of us is going to be different, according to the gifts, like you talked about, that God\u2019s given\u2014the passions and desires. One person may say: \u201cI want to do that by bringing an end to human trafficking,\u201d \u201cI want to do that by helping people who don\u2019t have water in Africa have access to water.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s going to be a myriad of different ways, and that\u2019s the richness of the body of Christ\u2014that it is a myriad of different ways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if we\u2019re all thinking: \u201cOkay; that\u2019s job one. Now, in the midst of that being job one, how does that get lived out?\u201d Well, first of all, there\u2019s evangelism; discipleship in the family, as you said: \u201cLet\u2019s have the rings, right: marriage; then family; then our local church, and how we\u2019re serving one another in the body of Christ; and then outside of that\u2014how we interact with our world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have settled in on marriage and family being the thing that you think God\u2019s calling you to as your specific field of ministry. How did that emerge as: \u201cThis is what God wants us to be doing\u201d?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>We just said, \u201cYes.\u201d It didn\u2019t start off, thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a ministry; we\u2019re going to write books.\u201d I just asked my wife, \u201cHey, you like to write,\u201d\u2014she has a gifting of writing. I said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you write to help <em>you<\/em> navigate things God\u2019s teaching us?\u201d I had a gifting in technology and creating blogs from the history of jobs I\u2019ve had. I said, \u201cI\u2019ll make you a blog,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s, literally, how it started.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>So it\u2019s Aaron\u2019s fault. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>It just happened to be about our marital stuff, because that was the thing that God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re passionate about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014He used it in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>I mean, as a pastor, trying to mobilize a congregation\u2014to do more than come and sit and be a spectator\u2014but to be the army. I\u2019ve always said, \u201cHere\u2019s how you know what your calling is, and you have a calling just like I have a calling.\u201d People, again, think a calling is full-time vocational ministry\u2014no; every believer has a calling. I always say this: \u201cWhat\u2019s in your heart? What\u2019s in your hand?\u201d\u2014which means\u2014\u201cWhat are you passionate about? What are you good at?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s a tool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You guys just illustrated it. You\u2019re passionate about marriage and family; you\u2019re good at these things\u2014bam, there you go to do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always say this\u2014it\u2019s a joke at our church now: \u201cOh, Wilson\u2019s going to say his famous little statement again,\u201d which is this\u2014and you\u2019re doing it; I hope we\u2019re all doing it\u2014\u201cMake a dent where you\u2019re sent.\u201d You know, it rhymes, so\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s cute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>It\u2019s good; it\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>But here\u2019s the question people ask whenever I say, \u201cMake a dent where you\u2019re sent.\u201d They will come up\u2014and I had to finish it\u2014because I heard this so many times, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not sure where I\u2019m sent.\u201d You know what the answer is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u201cWhere are you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019re sent where you are\u201d; because they think: \u201cOh, I have to be sent to Africa,\u201d \u201cI have to be sent to be a missionary or a pastor.\u201d No; you are sent to your neighbor to be the light of the world. You guys are doing that\u2014it\u2019s so beautiful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf couples, and marriages, and families could get this idea that there\u2019s a <em>mission<\/em> that God put us, together, to impact the world; but it starts with the neighbor next door. They don\u2019t have to write a blog or a book\u2014they <em>may<\/em>, if that\u2019s what they\u2019re good at. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me ask you this: \u201cHow have you seen God use you, locally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Well, I would just start with our friendships in the local fellowship that we\u2019re a part of. They\u2019re encouraged by us, and we\u2019re encouraged by them\u2014and being faithful to building up those relationships. It takes those small \u201cYes\u201d-es of spending time together or doing things for another\u2014like babysitting, or providing food when someone\u2019s in postpartum, or whatever those little things are. It does help build up those relationships; and it builds trust, and it helps model what the light of Christ is through our family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>I would say that our life online and our life in person is the same\u2014where integrity, and transparency, and the things that we talk about and share about and proclaim\u2014it\u2019s our job to live it. You can talk about it, and say it, and proclaim it, and not live it; and you\u2019re a liar or a hypocrite. So, our heart is to <em>live<\/em> the way we preach. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat goes back to the way I\u2019m loving my wife and the way I disciple my children\u2014it\u2019s my petri dish\u2014it\u2019s what God\u2019s given me to learn, and grow, and be sanctified in how to minister for Him. So when I go to others and disciple, I\u2019m going to disciple\u2014with the same fervor, the same vigor, the same gentleness and truth\u2014that I would disciple my child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to recognize, like you said\u2014where we are, and what God\u2019s given us is what He wants us to use. We bring up the parable of the talents in Matthew 25 and the picture of the three servants that come to the master. This is Jesus telling this story. The three servants are called. He gives them: one\u2014five, one\u2014two, and one\u2014one. He says, \u201cI\u2019m going to go away.\u201d All of them are servants, and he gives each one of them according to their ability; so one\u2019s given according to his ability, the other according to his ability, one according to his ability. The master comes back and asks the same thing of each one of them, \u201cWhat have you done with what I\u2019ve given you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all need to take this. We do <em>not<\/em> want to be the one, who is given the one talent, and think to ourselves, \u201cWell, I was only given the one and you\u2019re a scary person and a hard master; and therefore, I did <em>nothing<\/em> with what you\u2019ve given me.\u201d We want to be faithful with what He\u2019s given us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can\u2019t say that Jennifer and I have been given five\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019ve been given\u00a0 what is according to our abilities. That means that the Master intimately knows us\u2014what we\u2019re capable of and what we can do with His property. We\u2019re stewards. My children, my wife, our fellowship, our neighbors, our home, our cars, our resources, our hard stories from the past\u2014we\u2019re all stewards of those things\u2014and \u201cHow are we going to invest them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>I\u2019ve had a lot of women come up to me and say: \u201cIt feels like my husband\u2019s doing this ministry\u2014he feels called to this\u2014I\u2019m doing another ministry. It feels like we\u2019re going separate ways. Does God have a mission for us, together, in marriage; or can our mission be in separate areas?\u201d What do you think about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>I think the important thing is that you guys are on the same page\u2014that you\u2019re communicating, that you\u2019re praying about it, that you\u2019re submitting it to the Lord, and that you\u2019re not walking in it with discontentment or frustration that: \u201cThis person\u2019s over here, and I\u2019m over here.\u201d If you\u2019re choosing to walk in different ministry roles\u2014being supportive of each other doing that\u2014or one person saying: \u201cI\u2019m going to pursue that later. I\u2019m going to come join you and support you in what you\u2019re doing right now; then maybe, if God allows it, I\u2019ll come back to that thing.\u201d The important thing there is just being\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014unified.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>\u2014unified. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014and talking about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Well, and if there\u2019s contention or jealousy or it\u2019s a combative relationship, where: \u201cNo; I\u2019m doing my thing tonight, and you have to cancel yours,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m doing my thing tonight, and you have to cancel yours,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re both wrong. There has to be unity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it\u2019s two different things, that\u2019s totally fine. This is not about, \u201cWe have one specific mission,\u201d\u2014no; the mission is God\u2019s mission. It\u2019s <em>how<\/em> we do it. You can do those two missions\/those two ministries, wrongly. I quote Isaiah, \u201cDon\u2019t sacrifice\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cyour marriage on the altar\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>\u2014\u201con the altar of ministry.\u201d We can say\u2014we\u2019ve seen families do this: \u201cI\u2019m in ministry, so either get behind me or leave.\u201d I\u2019ve seen husbands leave to go do \u201cministry.\u201d You know what? I don\u2019t want to be that man, standing before God one day. I want to be the one that said, \u201cI\u2019m going to do it Your way, God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Here\u2019s one other question; I\u2019d love to hear you respond to this. Talk to the couple, whose spouse is not interested in ministry or God\u2014she is or he is\u2014they want marriage after God. Their husband\u2019s not interested; their wife\u2019s not interested. How do they negotiate that? What do you say to them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Be praying for them, because their salvation is more important than anything at that point. Your ministry is their salvation, so it\u2019s the way you interact with each other\/it\u2019s the way that you respond and love that person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cBut I\u2019m so disappointed. What do I do with that?\u201d Again, I\u2019m talking for that, you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>No; you\u2019re right. There\u2019s this feeling of, \u201cWell, see; I must have married the wrong person.\u201d Well, you\u2019re married; so we get to yield our hearts to what the Scriptures say about our marriage, not what we say about our marriage. Once someone gets ahold of God\u2019s heart and says, \u201cOkay; this is what God wants\u2026\u201d To be honest, if my wife wasn\u2019t a believer, and my heart was where it is now, the only ministry I would care about would be her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember sitting in a room\u2014this was many, many years ago\u2014with a Christian leader, who was explaining that her marriage was a source of great physical pain to her. It was impeding her ability to do the ministry that God had called her to. The conclusion she came to was, \u201cSo I must sacrifice my marriage in order to keep doing the ministry God\u2019s called me to.\u201d Well, she missed the whole point of what you\u2019re saying, which is: \u201cThe number one ministry God had called her to was in her marriage and with her husband\u2014even in the midst of that pain\u2014to persevere, and to love, and to figure out how that\u2019s going to work out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe had the wrong priority structure\u2014and this was not a case where she was being physically abused\u2014that\u2019s not what we\u2019re talking about. The pain she was dealing with was pain related to stress that she was feeling. It was kind of clinical pain that she was dealing with. I sat there and thought, \u201cYou\u2019re trading the wrong thing.\u201d In fact, what happened was\u2014she did divorce her husband, and the ministry floundered. She lost her public ministry, in part, because she traded in the wrong thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I have to be honest; there were many times, as a pastor, that I\u2019ve felt like my wife and my kids are hindering my ministry: \u201cThey\u2019re needy,\u201d [Laughter] \u201cThey want me home,\u201d \u201cI have meetings,\u201d \u201cI have sermon\u2026\u201d\u2014I\u2019m not kidding\u2014I had those thoughts! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat God reminded me is: \u201cThey are your number one disciples. You are <em>not<\/em> going to stand before God someday and be accountable for your church members, but you will be held accountable for your family.\u201d Now, does that mean Ann\u2019s not accountable for her own walk with God?\u2014and my three sons? They are accountable, but there\u2019s a sense that they are under my ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s why God said, \u201cAdam, where are you?\u201d in the Garden, because He was calling Adam out, saying, \u201cYou were responsible here\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, I think this has been helpful in clarifying for listeners, who are thinking about: \u201cWhat\u2019s our life supposed to look like? What\u2019s our marriage supposed to look like?\u201d There are some folks, who are just saying, \u201cOur marriage is in such a <em>mess<\/em> that to think about ministry\u2026\u201d [Laughter] Part of what we\u2019ve said to those couples is: \u201cYou can minister in the midst of the mess. Your marriage doesn\u2019t have to be perfect and all cleaned up. Yes; you should be working on it and growing, but you know what? Part of the way you do this\u201d\u2014I\u2019ll never forget a story I heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA couple had come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. They found Christ at that getaway. In fact, they were part of a motorcycle gang.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave: <\/strong>Hey, I like this couple. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So they thought, \u201cWe need to share this with the people in our motorcycle\u2014but our marriage is such a mess, we can\u2019t share it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe said: \u201cNo! Just go and tell them what you heard.\u201d They went and did, and two things happened. First of all, many of their friends found Christ. Secondly, their marriage got <em>better<\/em> in the process of them just ministering in the midst of the mess. That\u2019s part of God\u2019s design for how their marriage was going to grow stronger\u2014was for them to say: \u201cLook, we\u2019re in a mess. We don\u2019t know the answers, but we think they\u2019re here.\u201d God opened folks up to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really hope a lot of our listeners will get a copy of your book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, and really talk together about, \u201cWhat\u2019s God want for us, as a couple?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, thank you for being here. Thanks for sharing all of this with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Aaron: <\/strong>Thank you so much for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jennifer: <\/strong>Thanks for having us!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>By the way, we are making your book available this week to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. Those of you, who have been listening to our conversation this week with\u00a0 Aaron and Jennifer, if you\u2019d like a copy of the book, <em>Marriage After God<\/em>, it\u2019s our gift to you this week when you help support the ongoing work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Our radio program is listener-supported. It\u2019s folks like you\u2014regular listeners\u2014who donate so that this program can continue to be heard in your community, on your local Christian radio station, or via the internet, all around the world. You make that possible when you donate to support the production and syndication of this program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re able to help with a donation today, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you for your support,\u201d by sending you <em>Marriage After God<\/em> by Aaron and Jennifer Smith. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-F-LTODAY to donate. Be sure to indicate that you\u2019d like a copy of the book, and we\u2019re happy to send it to you. Thanks for supporting the ongoing work of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I have to confess that, when I came to FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, more than 25 years ago, I didn\u2019t really understand how central marriage and family are to God\u2019s purposes and plan for His kingdom on earth. That\u2019s been made more clear to me through conversations like the one we\u2019ve had today. David Robbins, who\u2019s the President of FamilyLife, is here with us. This is a big idea that we need to understand. Marriage and family is a <em>big<\/em> part of God\u2019s design for His kingdom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>I <em>love<\/em> the Smiths\u2019 call to action for every marriage to be on a mission and just to simply start where you are. It reminds me of Acts 17:26, when it says, \u201cAnd He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on the face of the earth; and God determines the allotted periods of times and the exact boundaries or locations of their dwelling place, so that some may come to know Him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach one of us has been placed by God in our home, with our families, to have a profound impact inside of our home and, also, to be able to impact homes around us\/to reflect Jesus to the world around us. Just start where we already are! He allotted those boundary places; He marked the time for us to live near people, or work with people, or go to an exercise class with the people that we\u2019re around. Do it out of who you uniquely are: \u201cWho are you?\u201d and \u201cWhat are the unique gifts you have?\u201d Do it with the people that He\u2019s already put around you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I just reflect on this conversation; and personally, I\u2019m a little convicted\u2014like: If I want to change the world, let me go home and let me love my family well. Out of that place, people will see Jesus and the ways of Jesus through us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We are ambassadors for Christ; aren\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Good word. Thank you, David. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope our listeners can be back with us tomorrow. We\u2019re going to talk about how important it is for us, as parents, to let our boys be boys. Mark Hancock from Trail Life USA will be with us, and we\u2019ll have that conversation. I hope you can join us as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/305147","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=305147"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=305147"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=305147"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=305147"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=305147"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=305147"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=305147"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}