{"id":304979,"date":"2019-04-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-04-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/old-rules-new-rules\/"},"modified":"2025-04-29T13:15:29","modified_gmt":"2025-04-29T17:15:29","slug":"old-rules-new-rules","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/old-rules-new-rules\/","title":{"rendered":"Old Rules, New Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The culture has old rules on how to do love, sex, and dating and they really don&#8217;t work. Dave Wilson explains some new rules that do work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The culture has old rules on how to do love, sex, and dating and they really don&#8217;t work. Dave Wilson explains some new rules that do work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:33:45","filesize":"30.9M","filesize_raw":"32398831","date_recorded":"2019-04-25 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817,2815],"tags":[4905,4018,4213,2991,6592],"podcast_series":[8267],"cwp_profile":[3554,3295],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304979","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-culture","tag-dating","tag-love","tag-sex","tag-world-view-vs-biblical-view","podcast_series-love-sex-and-dating","cwp_profile-ann-wilson","cwp_profile-dave-wilson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304979\/old-rules-new-rules","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304979\/old-rules-new-rules","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"aK9E0jCTbU\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/old-rules-new-rules\/\">Old Rules, New Rules<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/old-rules-new-rules\/embed\/#?secret=aK9E0jCTbU\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Old Rules, New Rules&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"aK9E0jCTbU\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What were you thinking about your spouse the day you got married? Dave Wilson has a guess.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I do weddings, as a pastor, quite often. There are two types of weddings. You look at this groom and this bride there, and you know they\u2019re thinking these things\u2014it\u2019s never said out loud\u2014but there are two types. I wrote it down this way\u2014I said: \u201cThe first type of wedding is this\u2014they\u2019re thinking, \u2018You are the most important person in my life.\u2019 They\u2019re looking at each other: \u2018You are the most important person in my life. You complete me! You are the answer to all my hopes and dreams.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s one type of wedding that you see\u2014it\u2019s like they\u2019re putting all their hopes and dreams in each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then, there\u2019s another type of wedding; and this is what they\u2019re thinking: \u201cYou are <em>not<\/em> the most important person in my life, Jesus is; and because Christ is the most important person in my life, I\u2019m going to treat you <em>better<\/em> than I could ever treat you if you were the most important. Christ will help me love you more than I ever could in my own strength.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. So, do you think you have been expecting things from your spouse that God never equipped your spouse to do or to be in your marriage? We\u2019re going to hear more about that today from Dave Wilson. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So, how many weddings do you think you\u2019ve done?\u2014any idea?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Several hundred, I\u2019m guessing\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, yes; I think so.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201430-some, almost 40 years; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you do 30 a year?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>There were times. We do less now; but there were times, yes, we were doing 20, 25, 30.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And weddings have an interesting dynamic to them; don\u2019t they?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, they sure do. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are there times when you\u2019re standing in front of the bride and groom, and going, \u201cI don\u2019t know if these kids are going to make it\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>There are times\u2014many times. There was one wedding\u2014I won\u2019t mention the names\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s good! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but as I sat in the back room, I thought to myself, \u201cThey won\u2019t make it six months.\u201d This was a couple I didn\u2019t know very well. I was sort of brought in, you know\u2014not even church people at our church\u2014and they were divorced in six months.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You sort of know sometimes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; and part of it is: \u201cWhat rules are they following?\u201d In fact, that\u2019s the message that we heard an excerpt from here; it\u2019s a message that you gave at Kensington Church that juxtaposed the old rules of relationships, and weddings, and marriage with the new rules, which are the biblical rules\u2014the rules that we need to be paying attention to when we\u2019re trying to make a marriage work.<\/p>\n<p>This is really stuff that we\u2019ve talked about, for years, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. We\u2019ve been sharing with our listeners this week that, in honor of your new role as hosts of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, our team decided we should take a week and celebrate and let our listeners know you\u2019ve spoken for three decades now at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. So, this week, if you want to sign up for an upcoming getaway, you get the Dave and Ann Wilson special deal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ooh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Like this?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I want that deal!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Dave and Ann Wilson special deal\u2014you sign up this week and you\u2019ll get<\/p>\n<p>40 percent off the regular registration fee for any of our upcoming getaways. We\u2019re just doing this for one week as a way to say, \u201cWelcome,\u201d to you guys and to focus on what\u2019s important in a marriage relationship. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information about this one-week special that we\u2019re offering to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We hope to see you out at an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.<\/p>\n<p>So, what are the old rules\u2014the rules that aren\u2019t working for relationships?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s a study of humanity. When you watch how couples fall in love, it usually takes this sort of course\u2014like four steps. Step Number One: \u201cFind the right person\u201d; right? \u201cHow do you know?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the question. It\u2019s like: \u201cYou just know. There\u2019s this chemistry, and you just know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it\u2019s all about <em>feelings<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes. You find <em>the<\/em> right person\u2014we even have a name for it: \u201cThe One\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Then, Step Two is: \u201cYou fall in love.\u201d And fall in love\u2014I mean, you fall head over heels: \u201cI can\u2019t <em>live<\/em> without this person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Step Number Three is: \u201cYou fix all your hopes and dreams on that one person.\u201d There it is\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cThey are the center of my life and universe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then Step Four, which is really interesting: \u201cIf failure occurs, repeat steps one, two, and three.\u201d Then, we get disappointed; so the old rules\u2014it\u2019s really interesting\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWell, this didn\u2019t work. I obviously found the wrong person. So I go back to step one,\u201d\u2014and guess what? It\u2019s not going to work, because the plan is flawed from step one. If you go back and start over again, you\u2019re going to end up at step four. You need a new plan, a new rule, a new way to do it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to hear the new way to do it, which is really the old way to do it\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014if you think about what the Bible has to say. This is from a message that you gave at Kensington Church about the difference between the old rules and the new rules for marriage.<\/p>\n<p>[Recorded Message]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So, the new rules\u2014it\u2019s really interesting where it starts, even in the formula of the old rules. You go to the Bible and you go to the New Testament; and by the way, when I was going to church, growing up, I <em>never<\/em> knew there was anything practical in the Bible at all! I\u2019m going to take you to just two verses\u2014two verses that I think will change your life, especially in the area of relationships. They don\u2019t even talk about relationships until later.<\/p>\n<p>The Apostle Paul wrote the book called Ephesians to a church in a city called Ephesus, and he applies this principle at the beginning of Chapter 5 to parenting, to marriage, to dating. He starts it with this principle we have to understand in verse 1\u2014he says this\u2014he says, \u201cTherefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And some of us\u2014I didn\u2019t grow up in the church\u2014so for me, I had no idea what God was like\u2014only what I had heard about God: that\u2019s He\u2019s judging, that He condemns us, that He\u2019s not for us. I think that\u2019s one of the things in this point of: \u201cGet to know Him; because as you get to know Him, you\u2019ll see that He loves us, that He\u2019s full of grace, that He forgives us; He\u2019s a God of second chances\u2014and third, and fourth, and fifth\u2014that He never leaves us, that He\u2019s always encouraging us. He\u2019s cheering us, like, \u201cYou can do this!\u201d That\u2019s who God is, so it\u2019s saying we are to <em>mimic<\/em> that in relationships.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So you apply that to the new rules. The old rules had four steps; the new rules have four steps\u2014they\u2019re the same but different. The first step is this: \u201c<em>Become<\/em> the right person.\u201d It isn\u2019t about <em>finding<\/em> the right person; it\u2019s about <em>becoming<\/em> the right person. It\u2019s totally life-changing to start there.<\/p>\n<p>It isn\u2019t like, \u201cI have to go find her,\u201d or \u201c\u2026find him\u201d; it\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no, no; I have to look in a mirror and work on me!\u201d What am I supposed to do? I\u2019m supposed to copy\/mimic God. I\u2019m supposed to resemble God, the One who loves me. I\u2019m supposed to have that character in me. It\u2019s about <em>me<\/em> understanding my identity, as a beloved child of God, living that out to then work on me becoming the right person, and then move into love, sex, and dating; then move into a relationship that could end up in marriage. It changes the whole starting point\u2014it\u2019s the new rule: \u201cBecome the right person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Step Two is: \u201cWalk in love.\u201d How do you walk in love?\u2014he says, \u201c\u2026as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us.\u201d So, what\u2019s it mean to walk in love? It\u2019s so different than falling in love. Falling in love will follow this [walking in love]. Walk in love is like, \u201cI want to love Ann,\u201d\u2014or the person you\u2019re dating\u2014how?\u2014\u201c\u2026as Christ has loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Paul tells us: \u201cHow did He do that? He gave himself up! He laid down His life for us!\u201d So, he says, \u201cI\u2019m going to love her in a way that she doesn\u2019t deserve, because she doesn\u2019t deserve this kind of love.\u201d Why would I do that?\u2014because I have a love from God I don\u2019t deserve! I don\u2019t deserve this. It\u2019s called the gospel; it\u2019s called grace. I\u2019ve gotten that from Jesus\u2014it\u2019s a fragrant offering; it\u2019s like [sniffing sound], \u201cOh, that smells so good; it\u2019s beautiful.\u201d Okay; take that and walk in love\u2014mimic God to love her that way; and if she\u2019s doing the same thing, is that a differing way to do life? Oh my, that\u2019s a different way to do love, sex, and dating.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it\u2019s so <em>hard<\/em>!\u00a0 Like it\u2019s so hard when somebody\u2019s offended you or hurt you. Your first inclination is either to draw back or to lash out, but what would it look like\u2014and that\u2019s where, to me, it\u2019s impossible for us to do that, but that\u2019s what God\u2019s saying: \u201cCan you love them as an act of your will, not based on your feelings?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And the only way you can do it is Step Three. The only way you can do it is Step Three: \u201cFix all your hopes and dreams on what?\u2014on who?\u2014God! It\u2019s no longer\u2014the focus isn\u2019t here\u2014it isn\u2019t on your potential spouse or on your current spouse\u2014it is on a God, who absolutely loves you and gave Himself up for you. When you take your eyes off each other and, maybe together\u2014but even if you don\u2019t do it together\u2014but at least, <em>you<\/em> do; you say, \u201cI\u2019m going to fix my hope\/my dreams are going to be on a God, who loves me and wants the best for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Actually, think of this\u2014a God who loves you so much, He wants to fill your need to be loved; and He knows this: \u201cYou\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to find it here\u2014<em>never<\/em>. It\u2019s always going to leave you empty. You will only find it here through the One who gave Himself up for us.\u201d So, we fix our eyes, no longer on the potential spouse or our spouse\u2014we fix our eyes on God; and literally, that changes <em>everything<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>You know, I do weddings, as a pastor, quite often. There are two types of weddings. You look at this groom and this bride there, and you know they\u2019re thinking these things\u2014it\u2019s never said out loud\u2014but there are two types. I wrote it down this way\u2014I said: \u201cThe first type of wedding is this\u2014they\u2019re thinking this\/they\u2019re saying\u2014not saying, but they\u2019re thinking, \u2018You are the most important person in my life.\u2019 They\u2019re looking at each other: \u2018You are the most important person in my life. You complete me!\u2019\u2014<em>Jerry<\/em> <em>Maguire<\/em>. \u2018You are the answer to all my hopes and dreams.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s one type of wedding that you see\u2014it\u2019s like they\u2019re putting <em>all<\/em> their hopes and dreams in each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then, there\u2019s another type of wedding; and this is what they\u2019re thinking: \u201cYou are <em>not<\/em> the most important person in my life, Jesus is; and because Christ is the most important person in my life, I\u2019m going to treat you <em>better<\/em> than I could ever treat you if you were the most important. Christ will help me love you more than I ever could in my own strength.\u201d That changes <em>everything<\/em>! It\u2019s like: \u201cI\u2019m becoming the right person. I\u2019m <em>walking<\/em> in love\u2014not just falling in love\u2014that follows that\u2014and I\u2019m fixing my hopes and dreams on Him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014I\u2019ll never forget\u2014Ann and I are dating, five\/six months, somewhere in there. I\u2019m leaving her house at like two in the morning. She lived with her parents; so you know, I said goodbye to her. I got in my car; I\u2019m driving home to my mom\u2019s house. In the car, I scream out loud, at the top of my lungs\u2014I don\u2019t even realize I do it\/just impromptu\u2014I go, \u201cI love Jesus!\u201d It was just like that\u2014it bounced around in my car. I\u2019m like: \u201cWhat did I just say?\u2014I love Jesus?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It hit me <em>so strongly<\/em>\u2014it was like, \u201cI have <em>never<\/em>, one time, had that thought after a night with a girl.\u201d I was with this girl for four years\u2014and I would have said [with other girls], if I had said anything: \u201cI love sex. I love her,\u201d\u2014<em>never<\/em>\u2014\u201cThis relationship is growing me closer to Jesus.\u201d I realized in that car, \u201cThis dating relationship with Ann Barron is growing me closer to Jesus. Oh my.\u201d I had never experienced that in my life. I remember having this thought, \u201cI think this is probably pretty important in marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, think about this\u2014you\u2019re looking at a guy who came from two alcoholic parents, who got divorced; and I <em>never<\/em> saw this. I don\u2019t even know what a great marriage looks like; but I knew this: \u201cI think <em>this<\/em> is the foundation for a great marriage,\u201d and I was right. Jesus is the foundation.<\/p>\n<p>I would say this, with no apology: \u201cIf you\u2019re a follower of Jesus, and you\u2019re dating somebody, and that\u2019s not happening, run.\u201d I know you were just offended by me saying that\u2014I\u2019m saying, \u201cRun,\u201d\u2014because here\u2019s what you\u2019re thinking: \u201cI\u2019ll change them after. Jesus is the most important thing in my life; but it isn\u2019t to them, but I\u2019ll change them after.\u201d No you won\u2019t!<\/p>\n<p>The most <em>important<\/em> thing in the world for any relationship\u2014love, sex, dating, marriage\u2014is a foundation, I believe, in the Creator who gave us love, sex, and dating. He has a way to do it right. I\u2019m telling you\u2014you and I both know the old way doesn\u2019t work. The numbers play it out. The new way\u2014it works. The divorce rate in the church is<\/p>\n<p>27 percent\u2014that\u2019s high, but nothing\u2014it\u2019s <em>half<\/em> of what it is outside the church. It\u2019s, actually, a better plan; and it starts with fixing your hopes and dreams on Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Become the right person; walk in love; fix all your hopes and dreams on God; and then the last one is the same as the other one: \u201cIf failure occurs, repeat steps one, two, and three!\u201d But now, it\u2019s a <em>total<\/em> different plan. When you repeat steps one, two, and three, you\u2019re not going, \u201cI need a new spouse,\u201d or \u201cI need a new person\u201d; you\u2019re going: \u201cI need to <em>become<\/em> the right person. I need to become the person [that] the person I\u2019m looking for is looking for. I need to become an imitator of God, I need to walk in love, I need to fix my hopes and dreams on Jesus, and then keep doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the thing\u2014those of you who are single\u2014like I want\u2014I would sit there and I\u2019d hold your face, if you\u2019re a woman, and say: \u201cI want you to know that marriage <em>can<\/em> be amazing.\u201d I feel like being married to Dave has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. Honestly, it really is one of the greatest gifts, and we almost didn\u2019t make it.<\/p>\n<p>The reason marriage can be so great, I feel like, for us, is because we have done that. There are times when we butt heads, and we\u2019ve gone through hills and valleys; but when I take my eyes off of my Father, who loves me, and I stop relying on Him to fill me, I start becoming needy of Dave to do [for] me. So to go back to Step One is always so critical; because we\u2019re always going to pull away, at times, and then come back. Going back to Step One is <em>huge<\/em>; because when I fix my hope on <em>Him<\/em>, He fills all the holes in my life and my needs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting too\u2014if you think about making a list of the kind of person you\u2019re looking for, I would say, \u201cDon\u2019t make a list of who you\u2019re looking for; make a list for <em>you<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014like, \u201cLet me give you a new list\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cof who <em>you<\/em> can be.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cto go out today to become this person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, it\u2019s really interesting\u2014you\u2019ve heard this description of love\/I bet you\u2019ve heard this: \u201cLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. Love does not dishonor others.\u201d Look at this list: \u201cIt is not self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>That\u2019s<\/em> a picture of love that\u2019s unbelievable. That\u2019s a picture of who I want to become\u2014a patient, kind, considerate person that never quits, that isn\u2019t selfish\/but selfless, that\u2019s always protecting, always believing the best, not keeping a record of wrong. That\u2019s a list that should describe who we are, not just what we\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n<p>Some of you know this\u2014I\u2019m guessing most of you know this\u2014where\u2019d that come from?\u2014where\u2019d that list come from?\u2014the Bible\/the Word of God! It\u2019s 1 Corinthians 13; it\u2019s called the <em>love<\/em> chapter; right? People read that at their marriages\u2014like that\u2019s the kind of love we want.<\/p>\n<p>Can you imagine going on a date with a guy who is kind and considerate?\u2014who, when he buys you a meal, you don\u2019t think there\u2019s any ulterior motive there? There\u2019s no thought of jealousy or envy\u2014that\u2019s not there. I mean, think about this\u2014kids like me, that are the result of a divorced family, what would have been different in your family if your mom and dad would have lived out <em>that<\/em> list?<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the last thing we\u2019ll say is: \u201cTo become that person is impossible. Okay; good luck!\u00a0 See you!\u00a0 Go try and do that. You can\u2019t do it. You can\u2019t be patient\/kind\u2014it doesn\u2019t work.\u201d You get married or you get in a relationship, and friction starts, and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh my, I am easily angered.\u201d You cannot do this; so here\u2019s the last thought: \u201cThe <em>only<\/em> chance you and I have of living out to become the person that mimics or imitates God\u2014the only chance we have is what? We need that love to come inside us. What\u2019s that called?\u2014Jesus!\u2014it\u2019s called the gospel.\u201d Jesus gave His life\u2014why? So that you and I can have the power of God living, literally, inside of us to give us the power to be patient, kind, not easily angered, forgiving people. That\u2019s <em>impossible<\/em> without Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>So we\u2019re going to end this thing, right here: \u201cThe only chance you and I have is Jesus\u2014only Jesus. That\u2019s the only chance you have. What happens when you have Jesus?\u2014darkness trembles. What happens when you have Jesus?\u2014fear leaves; we become fearless people. Can we do that?\u2014no! Can we become that person?\u2014no! Can Jesus do that in us?\u2014yes! How do we do that?\u2014surrender.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I\u2019m going to give you one last list. I would encourage you to put this on your wall and say, \u201cGod, make me this person.\u201d Where does this list come from?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Galatians 5:22\u2014again, Paul says, \u201cIf you want to know what it looks like to have the Spirit of God empowering you, here\u2019s what it looks like.\u201d He says, \u201cHere are the characteristics,\u201d\u2014he calls them fruit\u2014he says: \u201cYou will have this in your life when you surrender to Jesus and He lives through you. You\u2019ll have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [gentleness,] and self-control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I didn\u2019t even look\u2014did I get them? I don\u2019t know if I got them in the right order. I just know that list so well; because <em>that\u2019s<\/em> the result\/the fruit\u2014the product of Jesus, and only Jesus, being the focus of my life. He gives us a power we don\u2019t have!<\/p>\n<p>So, single people, I\u2019d say: \u201cPut that list right beside your bed or right beside your mirror, and get up every morning and fall on your knees and say, \u201cGod, would You make me a loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, self-controlled person?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And married people, that\u2019s exactly what we need too; isn\u2019t it?\u2014like what would it look like if we demonstrated those? For us, sometimes, I can look at that\u2014I have the exact opposite\u2014when I <em>see<\/em> that list, I think, \u201cOh my; I\u2019m so far away.\u201d I need to get back on my knees, surrender to Jesus, and say, \u201cFill me, because that\u2019s what I want.\u201d What would that look like for us, in our relationships, if we live those things out\/if that was our list?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And do not pray this for your spouse!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s what we do!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>We want <em>them<\/em> to be all these things: \u201cThey\u2019re not this\u2026\u201d\u2014get your eyes off of them, whether you\u2019re dating or you\u2019re married, and say, \u201cNo; I need to get my eyes here, on Him,\u201d and say, \u201cGod, I need You to make <em>me<\/em> that person.\u201d It\u2019s not about them; it\u2019s: \u201cBecome the right person; walk in sacrificial love; fix my hopes on Him\u201d; and when that doesn\u2019t work, to keep doing that plan\u2014leads to success.<\/p>\n<p>[Studio]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening, again, to Dave and Ann Wilson talking about the new rules for getting marriage right, from a message done at Kensington Church, awhile back. You were pretty passionate there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I was going to say, \u201cHe was preaching, man!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cHe was shouting loud!\u201d\u2014yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, those people out there\u2014they don\u2019t listen, so you have to get their attention somehow! [Laughter] No; I was thinking the same thing\u2014it was like, \u201cMan!\u201d You know, sitting here, in the studio, you feel a little different; but when you\u2019re\u2014I know when Ann and I are sitting up there, in front of an attentive group of people that really are leaning in, you really are passionate about hoping they get it\u2014not that we don\u2019t need it as well\u2014but it\u2019s like, \u201cIf you live this, it\u2019s going to change everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a pastor, you know what\u2019s going on in a lot of these couples\u2019 lives. You <em>know<\/em> that the new rules\u2014become the right person; walk in love; fix your hopes and dreams on God; and just keep doing that over and over again\u2014that\u2019ll change their marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019ll change your life; exactly. That\u2019s why we\u2019re so passionate about this subject; because we want people to find life, and the source of life is Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And in some ways, I feel like we\u2019ve been lied to and we\u2019ve bought the lie. You just keep going down that road, and it\u2019s a road that leads to destruction. Yet, instead of getting on a new road\u2014we called them \u201cthe new rules,\u201d which are, like you said, really the old rules; they\u2019re God\u2019s rules that have been around for centuries\u2014you keep going to destruction. It\u2019s like: \u201cWait a minute! Get on a new road, <em>please<\/em>. Here it is\u2026\u201d We\u2019ve tried to say, \u201cHere\u2019s what that road looks like\u2026\u201d; and it\u2019ll change everything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys know how we\u2019ve been saying this, for years, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014it\u2019s threat Number One in a marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Threat Number One is the idea that the culture can define what makes a marriage work. Anyone, who\u2019s looking at the cultural plan for marriage, is going to find themselves in a mess; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and I would add\u2014so many people in this generation, I think, look at marriage that has gone down and they\u2019ve decided, \u201cI\u2019m not getting married.\u201d Nobody\u2019s told them, \u201cThere\u2019s a way to do it that is\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not hard; it\u2019s very difficult\u2014but it\u2019s, actually, God\u2019s way; and it\u2019s something you <em>want<\/em> when you see it done the way God wants it done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, the thing I was going to say, too, was church attendance is going down. That makes me <em>sad<\/em>, because God has a game plan in His Word\u2014He\u2019s saying: \u201cFollow this, because it will bring life to you. It will bring life to your marriage, to your children, to your legacy.\u201d Yet, as we walk away from that, we\u2019re finding destruction.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We think: \u201cI can do this on my own. I don\u2019t need community. I don\u2019t need to be sitting under the teaching of God\u2019s Word.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly; right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, we still have about 20 or 25 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways happening this spring. You\u2019ve encouraged, over the years, <em>thousands<\/em> of couples\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. This week, we\u2019re making a special offer\u2014we call it the Dave and Ann Wilson special. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ooh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Listeners get an opportunity to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and they save 40 percent off the regular registration fee; but the hitch is\u2014you have to do this before\u2014I think Monday is when it all closes down. We need to hear from you today\u2014this weekend\/Monday, at the latest\u2014if you want to take advantage of the special offer\u2014the Dave and Ann Wilson special\u2014for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY if you have questions about the getaway.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I spoke at a getaway in Parsippany, New Jersey\u2014this was a year-and-a-half ago\u2014and one of the couples in the audience was the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, and his wife Meg. This was actually right before you became the president\u2014David\u2019s joining us in the studio here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was right before you signed as the new president; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>We were two weeks away from, actually, the installation. We had been announced; and we decided, \u201cLet\u2019s go to the closest <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, because it will be our last time to ever get to go incognito.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had been to one, years ago, back when you were starting your relationship\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but it had been a while.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>It had been a while since we had gone to one. We had the best time; it was such a time of connecting. And then, just to be able to have the lens of a couple, who joined us; and their relationship was at a totally different place.<\/p>\n<p>You know, we were processing some transition realities. It was such a good time for us to connect; because we really needed to, amongst all of the busyness of life that was happening. They came in at a place, where they were at really different places spiritually, and came in looking for some help, not knowing where they were headed. It was great to see how God was working in <em>their<\/em> marriage <em>and<\/em> our marriage and see progress made for both of us at the exact places\u2014God met us in the exact places that we needed to be met.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, here\u2019s what I think you model there\u2014and we don\u2019t talk about this enough\u2014but you shouldn\u2019t just be thinking, \u201cShould we go to a <em>Weekend to Remember?<\/em>\u201d; but ask yourself the question, \u201cWho could we take to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and both of us go?\u201d Use this as a way to help move friends, relatives, neighbors\u2014move them in the right direction, spiritually. So when you sign up for a getaway, don\u2019t just sign up for yourself; sign up for you and another couple, and plan to go together.<\/p>\n<p>Again, the information about the Dave and Ann Wilson special for the getaway is available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll save 40 percent off the regular registration fee if you sign up before Monday. Or call 1-800-FLTODAY if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to sign up by phone.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about the baggage all of us bring into a marriage relationship and, then, what we do with that baggage once we realize it\u2019s there. We\u2019ll hear more from Dave and Ann Wilson tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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culture has old rules on how to do love, sex, and dating and they really don't work. Dave Wilson explains some new rules that do work.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>What were you thinking about your spouse the day you got married? Dave Wilson has a guess.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, I do weddings, as a pastor, quite often. There are two types of weddings. You look at this groom and this bride there, and you know they\u2019re thinking these things\u2014it\u2019s never said out loud\u2014but there are two types. I wrote it down this way\u2014I said: \u201cThe first type of wedding is this\u2014they\u2019re thinking, \u2018You are the most important person in my life.\u2019 They\u2019re looking at each other: \u2018You are the most important person in my life. You complete me! You are the answer to all my hopes and dreams.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s one type of wedding that you see\u2014it\u2019s like they\u2019re putting all their hopes and dreams in each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then, there\u2019s another type of wedding; and this is what they\u2019re thinking: \u201cYou are <em>not<\/em> the most important person in my life, Jesus is; and because Christ is the most important person in my life, I\u2019m going to treat you <em>better<\/em> than I could ever treat you if you were the most important. Christ will help me love you more than I ever could in my own strength.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. So, do you think you have been expecting things from your spouse that God never equipped your spouse to do or to be in your marriage? We\u2019re going to hear more about that today from Dave Wilson. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. So, how many weddings do you think you\u2019ve done?\u2014any idea?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Several hundred, I\u2019m guessing\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Really?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, yes; I think so.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201430-some, almost 40 years; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, you do 30 a year?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>There were times. We do less now; but there were times, yes, we were doing 20, 25, 30.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And weddings have an interesting dynamic to them; don\u2019t they?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, they sure do. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Are there times when you\u2019re standing in front of the bride and groom, and going, \u201cI don\u2019t know if these kids are going to make it\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>There are times\u2014many times. There was one wedding\u2014I won\u2019t mention the names\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s good! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but as I sat in the back room, I thought to myself, \u201cThey won\u2019t make it six months.\u201d This was a couple I didn\u2019t know very well. I was sort of brought in, you know\u2014not even church people at our church\u2014and they were divorced in six months.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You sort of know sometimes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; and part of it is: \u201cWhat rules are they following?\u201d In fact, that\u2019s the message that we heard an excerpt from here; it\u2019s a message that you gave at Kensington Church that juxtaposed the old rules of relationships, and weddings, and marriage with the new rules, which are the biblical rules\u2014the rules that we need to be paying attention to when we\u2019re trying to make a marriage work.<\/p>\n<p>This is really stuff that we\u2019ve talked about, for years, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway. We\u2019ve been sharing with our listeners this week that, in honor of your new role as hosts of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, our team decided we should take a week and celebrate and let our listeners know you\u2019ve spoken for three decades now at <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways. So, this week, if you want to sign up for an upcoming getaway, you get the Dave and Ann Wilson special deal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ooh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Like this?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I want that deal!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Dave and Ann Wilson special deal\u2014you sign up this week and you\u2019ll get<\/p>\n<p>40 percent off the regular registration fee for any of our upcoming getaways. We\u2019re just doing this for one week as a way to say, \u201cWelcome,\u201d to you guys and to focus on what\u2019s important in a marriage relationship. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for information about this one-week special that we\u2019re offering to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. We hope to see you out at an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.<\/p>\n<p>So, what are the old rules\u2014the rules that aren\u2019t working for relationships?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, it\u2019s a study of humanity. When you watch how couples fall in love, it usually takes this sort of course\u2014like four steps. Step Number One: \u201cFind the right person\u201d; right? \u201cHow do you know?\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the question. It\u2019s like: \u201cYou just know. There\u2019s this chemistry, and you just know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it\u2019s all about <em>feelings<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes. You find <em>the<\/em> right person\u2014we even have a name for it: \u201cThe One\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Then, Step Two is: \u201cYou fall in love.\u201d And fall in love\u2014I mean, you fall head over heels: \u201cI can\u2019t <em>live<\/em> without this person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Step Number Three is: \u201cYou fix all your hopes and dreams on that one person.\u201d There it is\u2014it\u2019s like, \u201cThey are the center of my life and universe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then Step Four, which is really interesting: \u201cIf failure occurs, repeat steps one, two, and three.\u201d Then, we get disappointed; so the old rules\u2014it\u2019s really interesting\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWell, this didn\u2019t work. I obviously found the wrong person. So I go back to step one,\u201d\u2014and guess what? It\u2019s not going to work, because the plan is flawed from step one. If you go back and start over again, you\u2019re going to end up at step four. You need a new plan, a new rule, a new way to do it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to hear the new way to do it, which is really the old way to do it\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014if you think about what the Bible has to say. This is from a message that you gave at Kensington Church about the difference between the old rules and the new rules for marriage.<\/p>\n<p>[Recorded Message]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So, the new rules\u2014it\u2019s really interesting where it starts, even in the formula of the old rules. You go to the Bible and you go to the New Testament; and by the way, when I was going to church, growing up, I <em>never<\/em> knew there was anything practical in the Bible at all! I\u2019m going to take you to just two verses\u2014two verses that I think will change your life, especially in the area of relationships. They don\u2019t even talk about relationships until later.<\/p>\n<p>The Apostle Paul wrote the book called Ephesians to a church in a city called Ephesus, and he applies this principle at the beginning of Chapter 5 to parenting, to marriage, to dating. He starts it with this principle we have to understand in verse 1\u2014he says this\u2014he says, \u201cTherefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And some of us\u2014I didn\u2019t grow up in the church\u2014so for me, I had no idea what God was like\u2014only what I had heard about God: that\u2019s He\u2019s judging, that He condemns us, that He\u2019s not for us. I think that\u2019s one of the things in this point of: \u201cGet to know Him; because as you get to know Him, you\u2019ll see that He loves us, that He\u2019s full of grace, that He forgives us; He\u2019s a God of second chances\u2014and third, and fourth, and fifth\u2014that He never leaves us, that He\u2019s always encouraging us. He\u2019s cheering us, like, \u201cYou can do this!\u201d That\u2019s who God is, so it\u2019s saying we are to <em>mimic<\/em> that in relationships.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So you apply that to the new rules. The old rules had four steps; the new rules have four steps\u2014they\u2019re the same but different. The first step is this: \u201c<em>Become<\/em> the right person.\u201d It isn\u2019t about <em>finding<\/em> the right person; it\u2019s about <em>becoming<\/em> the right person. It\u2019s totally life-changing to start there.<\/p>\n<p>It isn\u2019t like, \u201cI have to go find her,\u201d or \u201c\u2026find him\u201d; it\u2019s like, \u201cNo, no, no, no; I have to look in a mirror and work on me!\u201d What am I supposed to do? I\u2019m supposed to copy\/mimic God. I\u2019m supposed to resemble God, the One who loves me. I\u2019m supposed to have that character in me. It\u2019s about <em>me<\/em> understanding my identity, as a beloved child of God, living that out to then work on me becoming the right person, and then move into love, sex, and dating; then move into a relationship that could end up in marriage. It changes the whole starting point\u2014it\u2019s the new rule: \u201cBecome the right person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Step Two is: \u201cWalk in love.\u201d How do you walk in love?\u2014he says, \u201c\u2026as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us.\u201d So, what\u2019s it mean to walk in love? It\u2019s so different than falling in love. Falling in love will follow this [walking in love]. Walk in love is like, \u201cI want to love Ann,\u201d\u2014or the person you\u2019re dating\u2014how?\u2014\u201c\u2026as Christ has loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Paul tells us: \u201cHow did He do that? He gave himself up! He laid down His life for us!\u201d So, he says, \u201cI\u2019m going to love her in a way that she doesn\u2019t deserve, because she doesn\u2019t deserve this kind of love.\u201d Why would I do that?\u2014because I have a love from God I don\u2019t deserve! I don\u2019t deserve this. It\u2019s called the gospel; it\u2019s called grace. I\u2019ve gotten that from Jesus\u2014it\u2019s a fragrant offering; it\u2019s like [sniffing sound], \u201cOh, that smells so good; it\u2019s beautiful.\u201d Okay; take that and walk in love\u2014mimic God to love her that way; and if she\u2019s doing the same thing, is that a differing way to do life? Oh my, that\u2019s a different way to do love, sex, and dating.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And it\u2019s so <em>hard<\/em>!\u00a0 Like it\u2019s so hard when somebody\u2019s offended you or hurt you. Your first inclination is either to draw back or to lash out, but what would it look like\u2014and that\u2019s where, to me, it\u2019s impossible for us to do that, but that\u2019s what God\u2019s saying: \u201cCan you love them as an act of your will, not based on your feelings?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And the only way you can do it is Step Three. The only way you can do it is Step Three: \u201cFix all your hopes and dreams on what?\u2014on who?\u2014God! It\u2019s no longer\u2014the focus isn\u2019t here\u2014it isn\u2019t on your potential spouse or on your current spouse\u2014it is on a God, who absolutely loves you and gave Himself up for you. When you take your eyes off each other and, maybe together\u2014but even if you don\u2019t do it together\u2014but at least, <em>you<\/em> do; you say, \u201cI\u2019m going to fix my hope\/my dreams are going to be on a God, who loves me and wants the best for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Actually, think of this\u2014a God who loves you so much, He wants to fill your need to be loved; and He knows this: \u201cYou\u2019re <em>never<\/em> going to find it here\u2014<em>never<\/em>. It\u2019s always going to leave you empty. You will only find it here through the One who gave Himself up for us.\u201d So, we fix our eyes, no longer on the potential spouse or our spouse\u2014we fix our eyes on God; and literally, that changes <em>everything<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>You know, I do weddings, as a pastor, quite often. There are two types of weddings. You look at this groom and this bride there, and you know they\u2019re thinking these things\u2014it\u2019s never said out loud\u2014but there are two types. I wrote it down this way\u2014I said: \u201cThe first type of wedding is this\u2014they\u2019re thinking this\/they\u2019re saying\u2014not saying, but they\u2019re thinking, \u2018You are the most important person in my life.\u2019 They\u2019re looking at each other: \u2018You are the most important person in my life. You complete me!\u2019\u2014<em>Jerry<\/em> <em>Maguire<\/em>. \u2018You are the answer to all my hopes and dreams.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s one type of wedding that you see\u2014it\u2019s like they\u2019re putting <em>all<\/em> their hopes and dreams in each other.<\/p>\n<p>Then, there\u2019s another type of wedding; and this is what they\u2019re thinking: \u201cYou are <em>not<\/em> the most important person in my life, Jesus is; and because Christ is the most important person in my life, I\u2019m going to treat you <em>better<\/em> than I could ever treat you if you were the most important. Christ will help me love you more than I ever could in my own strength.\u201d That changes <em>everything<\/em>! It\u2019s like: \u201cI\u2019m becoming the right person. I\u2019m <em>walking<\/em> in love\u2014not just falling in love\u2014that follows that\u2014and I\u2019m fixing my hopes and dreams on Him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll tell you what\u2014I\u2019ll never forget\u2014Ann and I are dating, five\/six months, somewhere in there. I\u2019m leaving her house at like two in the morning. She lived with her parents; so you know, I said goodbye to her. I got in my car; I\u2019m driving home to my mom\u2019s house. In the car, I scream out loud, at the top of my lungs\u2014I don\u2019t even realize I do it\/just impromptu\u2014I go, \u201cI love Jesus!\u201d It was just like that\u2014it bounced around in my car. I\u2019m like: \u201cWhat did I just say?\u2014I love Jesus?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It hit me <em>so strongly<\/em>\u2014it was like, \u201cI have <em>never<\/em>, one time, had that thought after a night with a girl.\u201d I was with this girl for four years\u2014and I would have said [with other girls], if I had said anything: \u201cI love sex. I love her,\u201d\u2014<em>never<\/em>\u2014\u201cThis relationship is growing me closer to Jesus.\u201d I realized in that car, \u201cThis dating relationship with Ann Barron is growing me closer to Jesus. Oh my.\u201d I had never experienced that in my life. I remember having this thought, \u201cI think this is probably pretty important in marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, think about this\u2014you\u2019re looking at a guy who came from two alcoholic parents, who got divorced; and I <em>never<\/em> saw this. I don\u2019t even know what a great marriage looks like; but I knew this: \u201cI think <em>this<\/em> is the foundation for a great marriage,\u201d and I was right. Jesus is the foundation.<\/p>\n<p>I would say this, with no apology: \u201cIf you\u2019re a follower of Jesus, and you\u2019re dating somebody, and that\u2019s not happening, run.\u201d I know you were just offended by me saying that\u2014I\u2019m saying, \u201cRun,\u201d\u2014because here\u2019s what you\u2019re thinking: \u201cI\u2019ll change them after. Jesus is the most important thing in my life; but it isn\u2019t to them, but I\u2019ll change them after.\u201d No you won\u2019t!<\/p>\n<p>The most <em>important<\/em> thing in the world for any relationship\u2014love, sex, dating, marriage\u2014is a foundation, I believe, in the Creator who gave us love, sex, and dating. He has a way to do it right. I\u2019m telling you\u2014you and I both know the old way doesn\u2019t work. The numbers play it out. The new way\u2014it works. The divorce rate in the church is<\/p>\n<p>27 percent\u2014that\u2019s high, but nothing\u2014it\u2019s <em>half<\/em> of what it is outside the church. It\u2019s, actually, a better plan; and it starts with fixing your hopes and dreams on Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>Become the right person; walk in love; fix all your hopes and dreams on God; and then the last one is the same as the other one: \u201cIf failure occurs, repeat steps one, two, and three!\u201d But now, it\u2019s a <em>total<\/em> different plan. When you repeat steps one, two, and three, you\u2019re not going, \u201cI need a new spouse,\u201d or \u201cI need a new person\u201d; you\u2019re going: \u201cI need to <em>become<\/em> the right person. I need to become the person [that] the person I\u2019m looking for is looking for. I need to become an imitator of God, I need to walk in love, I need to fix my hopes and dreams on Jesus, and then keep doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I think the thing\u2014those of you who are single\u2014like I want\u2014I would sit there and I\u2019d hold your face, if you\u2019re a woman, and say: \u201cI want you to know that marriage <em>can<\/em> be amazing.\u201d I feel like being married to Dave has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. Honestly, it really is one of the greatest gifts, and we almost didn\u2019t make it.<\/p>\n<p>The reason marriage can be so great, I feel like, for us, is because we have done that. There are times when we butt heads, and we\u2019ve gone through hills and valleys; but when I take my eyes off of my Father, who loves me, and I stop relying on Him to fill me, I start becoming needy of Dave to do [for] me. So to go back to Step One is always so critical; because we\u2019re always going to pull away, at times, and then come back. Going back to Step One is <em>huge<\/em>; because when I fix my hope on <em>Him<\/em>, He fills all the holes in my life and my needs.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting too\u2014if you think about making a list of the kind of person you\u2019re looking for, I would say, \u201cDon\u2019t make a list of who you\u2019re looking for; make a list for <em>you<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014like, \u201cLet me give you a new list\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cof who <em>you<\/em> can be.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cto go out today to become this person.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, it\u2019s really interesting\u2014you\u2019ve heard this description of love\/I bet you\u2019ve heard this: \u201cLove is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. Love does not dishonor others.\u201d Look at this list: \u201cIt is not self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>That\u2019s<\/em> a picture of love that\u2019s unbelievable. That\u2019s a picture of who I want to become\u2014a patient, kind, considerate person that never quits, that isn\u2019t selfish\/but selfless, that\u2019s always protecting, always believing the best, not keeping a record of wrong. That\u2019s a list that should describe who we are, not just what we\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n<p>Some of you know this\u2014I\u2019m guessing most of you know this\u2014where\u2019d that come from?\u2014where\u2019d that list come from?\u2014the Bible\/the Word of God! It\u2019s 1 Corinthians 13; it\u2019s called the <em>love<\/em> chapter; right? People read that at their marriages\u2014like that\u2019s the kind of love we want.<\/p>\n<p>Can you imagine going on a date with a guy who is kind and considerate?\u2014who, when he buys you a meal, you don\u2019t think there\u2019s any ulterior motive there? There\u2019s no thought of jealousy or envy\u2014that\u2019s not there. I mean, think about this\u2014kids like me, that are the result of a divorced family, what would have been different in your family if your mom and dad would have lived out <em>that<\/em> list?<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the last thing we\u2019ll say is: \u201cTo become that person is impossible. Okay; good luck!\u00a0 See you!\u00a0 Go try and do that. You can\u2019t do it. You can\u2019t be patient\/kind\u2014it doesn\u2019t work.\u201d You get married or you get in a relationship, and friction starts, and you\u2019re like, \u201cOh my, I am easily angered.\u201d You cannot do this; so here\u2019s the last thought: \u201cThe <em>only<\/em> chance you and I have of living out to become the person that mimics or imitates God\u2014the only chance we have is what? We need that love to come inside us. What\u2019s that called?\u2014Jesus!\u2014it\u2019s called the gospel.\u201d Jesus gave His life\u2014why? So that you and I can have the power of God living, literally, inside of us to give us the power to be patient, kind, not easily angered, forgiving people. That\u2019s <em>impossible<\/em> without Jesus.<\/p>\n<p>So we\u2019re going to end this thing, right here: \u201cThe only chance you and I have is Jesus\u2014only Jesus. That\u2019s the only chance you have. What happens when you have Jesus?\u2014darkness trembles. What happens when you have Jesus?\u2014fear leaves; we become fearless people. Can we do that?\u2014no! Can we become that person?\u2014no! Can Jesus do that in us?\u2014yes! How do we do that?\u2014surrender.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I\u2019m going to give you one last list. I would encourage you to put this on your wall and say, \u201cGod, make me this person.\u201d Where does this list come from?\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Galatians 5:22\u2014again, Paul says, \u201cIf you want to know what it looks like to have the Spirit of God empowering you, here\u2019s what it looks like.\u201d He says, \u201cHere are the characteristics,\u201d\u2014he calls them fruit\u2014he says: \u201cYou will have this in your life when you surrender to Jesus and He lives through you. You\u2019ll have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [gentleness,] and self-control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I didn\u2019t even look\u2014did I get them? I don\u2019t know if I got them in the right order. I just know that list so well; because <em>that\u2019s<\/em> the result\/the fruit\u2014the product of Jesus, and only Jesus, being the focus of my life. He gives us a power we don\u2019t have!<\/p>\n<p>So, single people, I\u2019d say: \u201cPut that list right beside your bed or right beside your mirror, and get up every morning and fall on your knees and say, \u201cGod, would You make me a loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, self-controlled person?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And married people, that\u2019s exactly what we need too; isn\u2019t it?\u2014like what would it look like if we demonstrated those? For us, sometimes, I can look at that\u2014I have the exact opposite\u2014when I <em>see<\/em> that list, I think, \u201cOh my; I\u2019m so far away.\u201d I need to get back on my knees, surrender to Jesus, and say, \u201cFill me, because that\u2019s what I want.\u201d What would that look like for us, in our relationships, if we live those things out\/if that was our list?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And do not pray this for your spouse!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s what we do!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>We want <em>them<\/em> to be all these things: \u201cThey\u2019re not this\u2026\u201d\u2014get your eyes off of them, whether you\u2019re dating or you\u2019re married, and say, \u201cNo; I need to get my eyes here, on Him,\u201d and say, \u201cGod, I need You to make <em>me<\/em> that person.\u201d It\u2019s not about them; it\u2019s: \u201cBecome the right person; walk in sacrificial love; fix my hopes on Him\u201d; and when that doesn\u2019t work, to keep doing that plan\u2014leads to success.<\/p>\n<p>[Studio]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening, again, to Dave and Ann Wilson talking about the new rules for getting marriage right, from a message done at Kensington Church, awhile back. You were pretty passionate there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I was going to say, \u201cHe was preaching, man!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cHe was shouting loud!\u201d\u2014yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, those people out there\u2014they don\u2019t listen, so you have to get their attention somehow! [Laughter] No; I was thinking the same thing\u2014it was like, \u201cMan!\u201d You know, sitting here, in the studio, you feel a little different; but when you\u2019re\u2014I know when Ann and I are sitting up there, in front of an attentive group of people that really are leaning in, you really are passionate about hoping they get it\u2014not that we don\u2019t need it as well\u2014but it\u2019s like, \u201cIf you live this, it\u2019s going to change everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a pastor, you know what\u2019s going on in a lot of these couples\u2019 lives. You <em>know<\/em> that the new rules\u2014become the right person; walk in love; fix your hopes and dreams on God; and just keep doing that over and over again\u2014that\u2019ll change their marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019ll change your life; exactly. That\u2019s why we\u2019re so passionate about this subject; because we want people to find life, and the source of life is Jesus.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And in some ways, I feel like we\u2019ve been lied to and we\u2019ve bought the lie. You just keep going down that road, and it\u2019s a road that leads to destruction. Yet, instead of getting on a new road\u2014we called them \u201cthe new rules,\u201d which are, like you said, really the old rules; they\u2019re God\u2019s rules that have been around for centuries\u2014you keep going to destruction. It\u2019s like: \u201cWait a minute! Get on a new road, <em>please<\/em>. Here it is\u2026\u201d We\u2019ve tried to say, \u201cHere\u2019s what that road looks like\u2026\u201d; and it\u2019ll change everything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys know how we\u2019ve been saying this, for years, at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway\u2014it\u2019s threat Number One in a marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Threat Number One is the idea that the culture can define what makes a marriage work. Anyone, who\u2019s looking at the cultural plan for marriage, is going to find themselves in a mess; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; and I would add\u2014so many people in this generation, I think, look at marriage that has gone down and they\u2019ve decided, \u201cI\u2019m not getting married.\u201d Nobody\u2019s told them, \u201cThere\u2019s a way to do it that is\u2014it doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s not hard; it\u2019s very difficult\u2014but it\u2019s, actually, God\u2019s way; and it\u2019s something you <em>want<\/em> when you see it done the way God wants it done.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Well, the thing I was going to say, too, was church attendance is going down. That makes me <em>sad<\/em>, because God has a game plan in His Word\u2014He\u2019s saying: \u201cFollow this, because it will bring life to you. It will bring life to your marriage, to your children, to your legacy.\u201d Yet, as we walk away from that, we\u2019re finding destruction.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We think: \u201cI can do this on my own. I don\u2019t need community. I don\u2019t need to be sitting under the teaching of God\u2019s Word.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Exactly; right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, we still have about 20 or 25 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways happening this spring. You\u2019ve encouraged, over the years, <em>thousands<\/em> of couples\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014to go to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. This week, we\u2019re making a special offer\u2014we call it the Dave and Ann Wilson special. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ooh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Listeners get an opportunity to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and they save 40 percent off the regular registration fee; but the hitch is\u2014you have to do this before\u2014I think Monday is when it all closes down. We need to hear from you today\u2014this weekend\/Monday, at the latest\u2014if you want to take advantage of the special offer\u2014the Dave and Ann Wilson special\u2014for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway. Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY if you have questions about the getaway.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I spoke at a getaway in Parsippany, New Jersey\u2014this was a year-and-a-half ago\u2014and one of the couples in the audience was the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, David Robbins, and his wife Meg. This was actually right before you became the president\u2014David\u2019s joining us in the studio here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This was right before you signed as the new president; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>We were two weeks away from, actually, the installation. We had been announced; and we decided, \u201cLet\u2019s go to the closest <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, because it will be our last time to ever get to go incognito.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You had been to one, years ago, back when you were starting your relationship\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>That\u2019s right; that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but it had been a while.<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>It had been a while since we had gone to one. We had the best time; it was such a time of connecting. And then, just to be able to have the lens of a couple, who joined us; and their relationship was at a totally different place.<\/p>\n<p>You know, we were processing some transition realities. It was such a good time for us to connect; because we really needed to, amongst all of the busyness of life that was happening. They came in at a place, where they were at really different places spiritually, and came in looking for some help, not knowing where they were headed. It was great to see how God was working in <em>their<\/em> marriage <em>and<\/em> our marriage and see progress made for both of us at the exact places\u2014God met us in the exact places that we needed to be met.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, here\u2019s what I think you model there\u2014and we don\u2019t talk about this enough\u2014but you shouldn\u2019t just be thinking, \u201cShould we go to a <em>Weekend to Remember?<\/em>\u201d; but ask yourself the question, \u201cWho could we take to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> and both of us go?\u201d Use this as a way to help move friends, relatives, neighbors\u2014move them in the right direction, spiritually. So when you sign up for a getaway, don\u2019t just sign up for yourself; sign up for you and another couple, and plan to go together.<\/p>\n<p>Again, the information about the Dave and Ann Wilson special for the getaway is available, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. You\u2019ll save 40 percent off the regular registration fee if you sign up before Monday. Or call 1-800-FLTODAY if you have any questions or if you\u2019d like to sign up by phone.<\/p>\n<p>Now, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear about the baggage all of us bring into a marriage relationship and, then, what we do with that baggage once we realize it\u2019s there. We\u2019ll hear more from Dave and Ann Wilson tomorrow. I hope you can tune in for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304979","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304979"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304979"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304979"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304979"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}