{"id":304952,"date":"2019-04-08T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-04-08T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/being-intentional-with-your-kids\/"},"modified":"2025-04-29T13:10:31","modified_gmt":"2025-04-29T17:10:31","slug":"being-intentional-with-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-intentional-with-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Being Intentional With Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Siblings Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick, both married with children, know the challenge parents face of talking to our kids about sex. They also know that the culture we&#8217;re in requires that we intentionally educate them. Jessica remembers how she responded the time her 7-year-old daughter asked her about sex during a Walmart run, and Joel shares how he uses ordinary activities, like taking a walk or driving in the car, to talk about the birds and the bees with his kids.<br \/>\nShow Notes and Resources<\/p>\n<p> \tMom, Dad&#8230;What&#8217;s Sex? by Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick<br \/>\n \tFamilyLife\u2019s Art of Parenting\u2122 video series<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Siblings Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick know the challenge parents face of talking to our kids about sex. They also know that the culture we&#8217;re in requires that we intentionally educate them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-08.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:25","filesize":"25.1M","filesize_raw":"26322477","date_recorded":"2019-04-08 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2815],"tags":[6571,6570,6331],"podcast_series":[8264,10990],"cwp_profile":[8825,9514],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304952","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-birds-and-the-bees","tag-conversations-with-your-kids","tag-talking-to-your-kids-about-sex","podcast_series-mom-dad-whats-sex","podcast_series-mom-dad-whats-sex-2","cwp_profile-jessica-thompson","cwp_profile-joel-fitzpatrick","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304952\/being-intentional-with-your-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304952\/being-intentional-with-your-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"OlTOEGjr5v\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-intentional-with-your-kids\/\">Being Intentional With Your Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-intentional-with-your-kids\/embed\/#?secret=OlTOEGjr5v\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Being Intentional With Your Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"OlTOEGjr5v\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>In case you haven\u2019t noticed, our culture is talking regularly\/loudly about sex. Jessica Thompson says our children are very aware of that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>We\u2019re not in an age anymore, where we can just sit back and not talk to our kids about these things. Everyone at school is talking about them; it\u2019s a frequent conversation. We have to be involved; we have to be proactive with our children in this conversation. The good thing is\u2014that\u2019s not just a one-time conversation you have with your kids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Do you think your kids are ready to hear about sex? Ready or not, that conversation is happening. The question is: \u201cAre you a part of it?\u201d Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Because we have this shared love of old music, do you know the song that was a hit song\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You\u2019re going to start with this?\u2014you\u2019re going to make me look like a fool. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>No; no! I just want to see if you can name\u2014because I actually had this as a 45. You remember 45s; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I had the 45 of a song by a one-hit wonder\u2014a guy by the name of Jewel Akens. Do you have any idea what was his one big hit?\u2014Jewel Akens.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Ann, do you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I have no idea.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You will recognize it as soon as I start singing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure. You\u2019re going to sing it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to sing it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, sing it, Bob!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Alright; you want a beat?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Singing] \u201cLet me tell you \u2018bout\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave and Ann with Bob: \u2014\u201c<\/strong>the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees\u2014[Laughter and mumbling].<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Nobody knows the rest of it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s about as far as we get.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave and Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand the thing called looove.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know why I brought that up; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Ah, there you go!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I brought that up because we\u2019re going to be talking about the birds and the bees\u2014not the flowers and the trees. We are going to be talking about, as parents, how we engage our kids on this subject.<\/p>\n<p>Did you have any classic Wilson moments on this subject with your boys?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s sort of interesting\u2014my oldest is 32, and he was number one. I was the dad; and it was like, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this right.\u201d I never had my dad talk to me about it\u2014or my mom\u2014so I\u2019m going to do this. I planned this little trip. I think he was\u2014I thought he was ten years old; right? We had this little talk, out in this field, where I\u2014anyway, five or six years ago, I remember asking, \u201cHey, CJ; do you remember that talk we had?\u201d He goes: \u201cDad! I was like <em>six<\/em>.\u201d I was <em>way<\/em> too early. [Laughter] I don\u2019t remember a thing\u2014it was just so weird and awkward.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYou were not six.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes; I was.\u201d I say, \u201cOkay\u201d; so I sort of overdid it there. I got it better with the other two.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay; so I guess these are bad parenting moments, because our <em>youngest<\/em> son is 27. [Laughter] He came up to me the other day and he said, \u201cYou know how you thought you were so open and talking to us about sex and stuff?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014you know, I\u2019m like, \u201cHe\u2019s going to <em>thank<\/em> me.\u201d And he goes: \u201cIt was <em>way<\/em> overboard. [Laughter] It was embarrassing the <em>whole<\/em> time, mom!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to see if we can fix the two of you, although it\u2019s a little too late to get you fixed. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s too late, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Are you saying we need help? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have brought in the experts to address this\u2014Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick are joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys\u2014welcome!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You are brother and sister. Our listeners will recognize Jessica from being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in the past with her mom, Elyse Fitzpatrick\u2014your mom\u2014[addressing Joel as well]\u2014Elyse Fitzpatrick.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys have, together, as brother and sister\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; totally awkward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re written a book called <a id=\"_Hlk4682964\"><\/a><em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em><em>: Giving Your Kids a Gospel-Centered View of Sex in Our Culture.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Joel, \u201cWhy? Why <em>this<\/em> book; and why the two of you, together, as brother and sister?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, so on the one hand, it\u2019s completely self-serving; because I just needed someone else\u2019s name to put on my book. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014someone who\u2019s sold books before!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; right!\u2014someone who\u2019s sold books before. And I couldn\u2019t do that with my mom, because that wouldbe <em>really<\/em> awkward.<\/p>\n<p>Both Jessica and I have kids, who were raised through the public school system\u2014same public school system\u2014we live near each other. Both our kids are asking the same sorts of questions: \u201cWhat is\u2014we have friends who say they are bi-sexual,\u201d \u201c\u2026who say they are gay,\u201d \u201c\u2026lesbian,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cHow do we work with that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Me\u2014being a youth pastor at the time\u2014I had just gotten done teaching about a 16-week class on this topic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sixteen weeks!!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ohh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>The class was based off of questions that the kids had asked. I just said: \u201cLook, you guys lead this class. You tell me, and I\u2019m going to bring to you what the Bible says about this topic.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then, I went to Jessica and said: \u201cHey, look; like we\u2019re both struggling with these conversations\u2014like: \u2018How do we do this well? How do we do this in light of the gospel?\u2019\u201d That produced this book.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just as you were talking about it, I was thinking about, when our kids were little, my boys and girls were not coming home, saying: \u201cDad, what\u2019s lesbianism?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s bi-sexuality?\u201d You don\u2019t remember having those conversations; do you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Never\u2014never had a conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>But <em>today<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014it could be your fifth-grader, who says, \u201cWhat does it mean to be gay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Actually, my sixth-grader did come home, her first week in middle school, and said to me, \u201cI met my first transgender person today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Sixth grade. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s different because of where we live. We\u2019re in Southern California\u2014it might be a little bit different\u2014the culture might be a little different there.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re not in an age anymore, where we can sit back and not talk to our kids about these things. Everyone at school is talking about them; it\u2019s a frequent conversation. We have to be involved; we have to be proactive with our children in this conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not only is everybody talking about it, but there is a <em>dominant<\/em> stream of thinking, where your kids are\u2014not just being engaged: \u201cHey, what do you think?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat <em>should<\/em> we think?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s the <em>right<\/em> way to think?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; there are so many opinions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and the right way to think runs contra to what the Bible says is the right way for us to think about this.<\/p>\n<p>I remember one guest we had on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said, \u201cMy middle school daughter came home and said, \u201cCan I put a rainbow thing across my Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> profile?\u201d The mom asked, \u201cWell, why do you want to do that?\u201d She said, \u201cBecause if I <em>don\u2019t<\/em>, I\u2019m the only one in my class that doesn\u2019t have that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t a question of: \u201cDo I believe this or not?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a question of: \u201cWill I be <em>accepted<\/em> in my age group if I don\u2019t buy into the cultural thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; my daughter came home and told me that, in their world history class, they were having a debate over the topic of abortion. She was the only kid in the class who stood up and said anything about babies being human beings and arguing for a pro-life stance.<\/p>\n<p>I think that the culture is definitely taking a shift; and it\u2019s not good enough for us, as parents\u2014there\u2019s a little thing called the internet. If we\u2019re not going to talk about it, our kids are going to go on; and they are going to google: \u201cHomosexuality,\u201d \u201cGay,\u201d \u201cTransgender,\u201d \u201cLesbian.\u201d The things that they\u2019re going to <em>see<\/em> aren\u2019t going to be what we would consider a good, nuanced, healthy way of looking at those issues.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>The fact that your kids have already come to you\u2014and are asking you these questions and talking to you about it\u2014says, to me, you have been talking to them about this for quite a while. How did that start?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I know for me, my daughter\u2014she was probably seven years old\u2014and we were walking through Walmart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. She asked me about sex. It was important for her to talk to me, right then. Maybe, she felt comfortable then; she was willing to listen then. When you have your kid\u2019s ear\u2014no matter what\u2019s going on\u2014that\u2019s the time you talk about it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what was your answer to that question, \u201cWhat\u2019s sex?\u201d That\u2019s a pretty big question.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>It was!\u2014yes. I mean, I started\u2014I think I asked her, \u201cWell, what do you mean by \u2018What is sex?\u2019\u201d\u2014right?\u2014like: \u201cWhat are you getting at?\u2014like the mechanics of it all?\u2014or are you getting at some bigger picture?\u201d I started asking her clarifying questions: \u201cWhat do you mean by \u2018What is sex?\u2019\u201d\u2014you know, stuff like: \u201cWhere have you heard\u2026?\u201d\u2014those types of questions.<\/p>\n<p>Then, it got narrowed down to really what she was asking me. It was more of a mechanical question\u2014we just started talking about it. You know, I told her what was age-appropriate for her to know at that point.<\/p>\n<p>The good thing is\u2014this is not a one-time conversation. This conversation\u2014as you have this with your child, it always ends with you saying: \u201cLets talk about this again. <em>Anytime<\/em> you have questions, lets talk about this again. This is an open door, <em>always<\/em><a id=\"_Hlk4584599\"><\/a>. There\u2019s no question that\u2019s wrong. There\u2019s no question that may seem too shameful or off limits. This is <em>always<\/em> an open door. I\u2019m <em>always<\/em> willing to talk to you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m the parent that doesn\u2019t have a seven-year-old daughter or son ask me a question. When do I bring this up?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s more my story. My kids didn\u2019t ask the question, right off the bat. But what I did was\u2014I\u2019d just go out on walks with them. I\u2019d ask them about their friends; I\u2019d ask them about their day. Then, just naturally, I\u2019d say: \u201cHey, I know that this is what\u2019s going on in your school. I know you\u2019re coming up on this class...Let\u2019s talk about this some,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s okay?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand is it okay for us to talk about this right now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>So you ask them, \u201cIs it okay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; really, what that does\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was going to say, \u201cIt\u2019s a big jump for some parents.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, we\u2019re talking about the day; we\u2019re talking sports, and class, and school; and \u201cNow, lets talk about your private parts.\u201d [Laughter] How do you do that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, there\u2019s never not a time when it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> awkward to start having those conversations. For me, I just had to do it; right? It\u2019s one of these conversations, where you know it is going to be awkward, going into it. I think I, literally, said to my kids\u2014to both of them, as I was talking to them, at different times: \u201cThis is going to be awkward. If this is too awkward for us to talk about right now, then that\u2019s totally fine; but we do need to have this conversation at some point. We can talk it now, or talk about it tomorrow, or the next day or the next week; but we need to start having this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>At what age is that when that should start happening?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; for my son, that was right around seven.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I think as soon as your kids start asking questions or showing any interest. And maybe, they are not even <em>saying<\/em> it; but you see the look in their eye. I think that\u2019s when you start having the conversations. We are not\u2014again, we are not afforded the luxury, in this day and age, to wait.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; and also, we aren\u2019t afforded the luxury of just giving like vague details and saying, \u201cStay away from this, because it\u2019s bad,\u201d anymore; because they have a culture that will come to them and say: \u201cNo,\u201d\u2014actually, like\u2014\u201csexual expression\/sexual identity\u2014that is who you are, as a human being, and to deny that means that you are denying your humanity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We have to do a <em>far<\/em> better job than just saying, \u201cNo.\u201d We have to actually hold out for them something that is <em>beautiful<\/em>, so they are actually <em>drawn<\/em> to that beautiful picture.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s so interesting because even, as a young woman, I remember <em>hearing<\/em> people say, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have sex before you\u2019re married.\u201d I thought: \u201cWhy? That\u2019s the dumbest thing ever,\u201d and no one ever said why\u2014like: \u201cWhat are the dangers of that?\u2014why?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I just thought, when Dave and I got married, I felt, \u201cPeople need to share with kids the whys behind their answers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely! That starts with building, \u201cWhy did God even create it?\u201d\u2014right? It\u2019s not just: \u201cDon\u2019t have sex,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not our answer. Our answer is never just \u201cDon\u2019t do that!\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a <em>reason<\/em> why God created sex. There\u2019s a <em>reason<\/em> that He made us bodies to be able to enjoy it\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Even if we give them a pat answer like, \u201cIf you have sex before you\u2019re married, it could ruin your sex life when your married.\u201d There\u2019s so much more; this is a more robust topic than just <em>that<\/em>. I think that, as we give our kids this bigger picture\u2014and as we teach them, even, enjoyment is not the end-all in this\u2014\u201cThere\u2019s a bigger picture of finding pleasure in <em>Christ<\/em> and what He says about you,\u201d that I think is the end-all in this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think one of the <em>key<\/em> things we are hearing in this conversation is: \u201cMoms and dads need to be purposeful\/intentional\u2014not reactive\u2014but proactive. You got to have a strategy for this. If you\u2019re thinking, \u201cWell, yes; we\u2019ll have a strategy when they become teenagers,\u201d you have <em>lost<\/em> the game at that point; right?<\/p>\n<p>You, as parents, have got to sit down with a game plan to say: \u201cWhen they\u2019re pre-school, we\u2019re going to have these kinds of conversations,\u201d \u201cWhen they\u2019re headed off to school, we\u2019re going to have to shift it to these kinds of conversations\u2026\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re going to do it regularly; we\u2019re going to do it candidly. We\u2019re going to do it in what\u2019s appropriate language\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It can\u2019t just be mechanics and prohibitions; because I think that\u2019s\u2014a lot of parents would say: \u201cHere\u2019s how it works. Here\u2019s what you don\u2019t do\u2026\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Everyone: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>We\u2019ve handled the issue\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I can remember\u2014my oldest son was maybe 11 and so that\u2019s means\u2014I have to ask my wife\u2014my second son was nine?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Nine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And Cody was six. We\u2019re walking through a mall, just me and the boys. I see, up in front of us, a magazine rack, that was like waist level\u2014it was low.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And from a distance\u2014maybe ten\/fifteen yards away\u2014I can see a <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> swimsuit model on the cover of this thing. I\u2019m, literally, like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to watch my boys to see if they even notice it.\u201d Here\u2019s what I noticed\u2014my oldest saw it; the other two?\u2014they didn\u2019t even know it existed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I say to CJ\u2014I said\u2014it was classic\u2014I say: \u201cHey, did you see that magazine rack over there?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I did.\u201d He goes, \u201cOh, yes; well, I did too.\u201d I go, \u201cDid you see that girl in a bathing suit?\u201d He goes, \u201cNo.\u201d I go, \u201cWell, I did.\u201d He goes: \u201cOh, well, yeah. I might\u2019ve seen it too.\u201d I go, \u201cWell, did you want to look at it?\u201d He said, \u201cNo; I didn\u2019t want to look at it, Dad\u201d; because he knew\u2014he\u2019s probably thinking, \u201cI shouldn\u2019t.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I wanted to look at it,\u201d and I said: \u201cThere\u2019s going to be things like that all around.\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t look at that, because I only want to look at your mom like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I remember this\u2014and he\u2019s 11\u2014I said: \u201cBut there\u2019s nothing wrong with desiring to look at a pretty woman dressed like that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cI just wanted to tell you something,\u201d\u2014I remember using the term, I think, I heard it from FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014I said: \u201cIt\u2019s like drinking sewer water. You have to very careful; it can really be harmful.\u201d I almost had this bond, with the 11-year-old\u2014like: \u201cAs men, let\u2019s win this thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Is it that kind of stuff going on?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>First of all, I think that it\u2019s important to say that, if your kids are teenagers and you haven\u2019t had this conversation, that doesn\u2019t mean that their life is over. It doesn\u2019t mean that <em>you<\/em> are a failure, as a parent. It means: \u201cThis is a <em>great<\/em> opportunity for you to go and capture these moments with your kids and help set this, because your kids aren\u2019t going to be teenagers forever. They\u2019re going to grow up, and their view of their sexuality is going to affect them for the rest of their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Second thing is\u2014openness, as a man, I think, with our sons\u2014is so vital\/<em>so<\/em> vital; because what it does is\u2014it levels the playing ground for both of us. It says: \u201cLook, I\u2019m a sinner; you\u2019re a sinner. Both of us need just as much Jesus as the other person does. Let\u2019s, actually, have a real conversation about this, where we can be open; and we can be frank. I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> going to come down on you because your eyes <em>move<\/em> to something\u2014that, as a man\u2014it\u2019s natural for our eyes to move to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; I want to move back to your first point. I want us to coach parents, who are maybe late to the game on this. If you were\u2014tonight or this weekend\u2014going to have a conversation with your 12-year-old, how would you <em>start<\/em> that conversation?\u2014and how would you keep it from just being the creepiest thing that that child ever experienced? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know how to keep it from being creepy; but I will say this: \u201cThe best place to start in a conversation with your kid is ask for forgiveness\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor loving your comfort more than you\u2019ve loved them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>You are automatically, at that point, bringing the gospel in.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would say: \u201cYou know, there\u2019s something we haven\u2019t talked much about,\u201d and \u201cWe should have talked about this more than we have. That\u2019s on me; and I just want to ask you, right here, at the beginning, \u2018Would you forgive me for not\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cpursuing you\u201d; yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201chaving the guts to deal with this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Is it okay to say, \u201cIt feels awkward and weird to me\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"_Hlk4659311\"><\/a><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>One hundred percent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Why do we act like it\u2019s\u2014I mean, I think we think: \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got to come in with all the answers. I\u2019ve got to be straight-faced. I got to say it all just right.\u201d It\u2019s like: \u201cNo!\u2014the gospel frees you! The gospel frees you to say, \u2018I messed up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And our kids want honesty.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely! They know you are a screw-up\u2014they live with you. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Shocker! Your kids know you screwed up! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I think\u2014and Joel, you can go into more detail\u2014but I think starting out with: \u201cPlease forgive me. I failed and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I want to admit, right up front, that this is awkward. Because we love you\u2014because we love God and we believe the Bible\u2014we are going to press through into this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I would say it\u2019s important on two fronts. One, if you\u2019re a dad\u2014and your trying to do that with your daughter\u2014you need to ask permission from your daughter, because that\u2019s a level of awkwardness for your daughter that may be too far for them if that\u2019s the first time you are broaching that subject.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Should the dad do it?\u2014or should the mom do it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>I do think so. I think the dad needs to be involved\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: \u2014<\/strong>at some level. I think daughters hunger\u2014I think they yearn to hear their dad tell them that they\u2019re beautiful, in a non-sexual way. I think they need to learn what love, that\u2019s not sexual, means and how that looks. I mean, like I\u2019m not going to go in and talk to my daughter about all the workings of a female body; right?\u2014I mean, my wife knows that far better than I ever will.<\/p>\n<p>If I were a single dad?\u2014then, yes; I would need to have a conversation with her\u2014maybe even a trusted woman, who I know my daughter has an affinity to, and invite them into the conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>And single moms too\u2014like don\u2019t be afraid to talk to your sons. I think that that\u2019s a good thing to do. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a bad or wrong thing to do. Obviously, like Joel\u2019s saying, bringing other men into the conversation would be a good idea\u2014or if you have a husband, who is unwilling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s what I was going to say: \u201cWhat about the spouse, who has a spouse that is unwilling\u2014like, \u2018I\u2019m not going there\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Yes; then I think it\u2019s appropriate for the opposite gendered spouse to talk to the kids. I don\u2019t there is anything wrong with that. Obviously, again, if you can bring other people into the conversation, who understand the workings of the other person\u2019s gendered body in a different way\u2014that\u2019s great. I don\u2019t think there is anything wrong with starting the conversation with them.<\/p>\n<p>You can build a robust theology of sexuality without ever getting into a lot of the details; right? You can do that with an opposite-gendered person. Again, I think Joel is right\u2014asking for permission, which is something we don\u2019t often do with our kids. But opening it up for them to say: \u201cYou know what? This is too uncomfortable for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you guys were sitting down with a young family\/a young couple\u2014they\u2019ve got kids, who are pre-school or, maybe, early elementary\u2014they\u2019re saying: \u201cWhen do we bring this up?\u201d \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d \u201c How do we go about it? We\u2019re scared, and we don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d What\u2019s your best advice?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m the expert on this, Bob, as you know. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Take them to a field! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Take them to a field, where they can see the birds and the bees! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know what the expert does\u2014he defers to his wife. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Well done! Well done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And I would say, \u201cYou should get this book,<em> Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica and Joel: <\/strong>We were pointing to the book, vigorously: \u201cBuy the book!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we\u2019ve solved it then. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to order the book, <em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>, by Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information.<\/p>\n<p>Jessica is part of FamilyLife\u2019s <a id=\"_Hlk4764438\"><\/a><em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122 video series. If you haven\u2019t gone through the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> together\u2014as a couple, or with a small group, or in a church setting\u2014find out more about the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> video series when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Then, of course, we\u2019ve got the getaway weekend for parents called <a id=\"_Hlk4764688\"><\/a><em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, where you can begin a series of conversations with your kids around sexuality. Information about<em> Passport2Purity<\/em> is available, online, as well. Again\u2014the book: <em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>video series\u2014and the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> resources\u2014find them all at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for information about any of these resources\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, helping moms and dads be ready for all that\u2019s facing us, as parents\u2014that\u2019s part of the mission, here, at FamilyLife. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want to help equip parents to the important assignment of raising the next generation and pointing them in the right direction as we release them out into the world. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide you practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family.<\/p>\n<p>It also exists because of listeners, like you, who make this radio program possible. The fact that our program is heard\u2014on this station, heard online, you can even have Alexa play <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014all of that is made possible because of listeners, like you, who support the work that we\u2019re doing, here, at FamilyLife. Your donations go <em>entirely<\/em> to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating the work of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Whether you give occasionally or you are one of our regular Legacy Partners, we are <em>so<\/em> grateful for your partnership with us. You can make a donation, online, today at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. When you do, we\u2019d love to sent you a copy of Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s book, <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>\u2014help you to get to know the Wilson\u2019s better, and you\u2019ll learn some great principles for how to have a strong marriage relationship that is anchored in Christ. Ask for your copy of the book, <em>Vertical Marriage,<\/em> when you donate, today, at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call to donate: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number.<\/p>\n<p>Now, as we\u2019ve been talking about teaching our kids about sex, I\u2019ve been noticing that the President of FamilyLife, David Robbins, has been taking furious notes. This is where you\u2019re living; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>I\u2019m right in the thick of it with a 12-year-old, 10-year-old and 9-year-old. These conversations are coming up, and we are seeking to be pro-active about it. It was <em>great<\/em> to have this moment today, where it\u2019s kind of like, you know, we need those friends in our lives that gently but firmly keep saying to us: \u201cCome on. You need to step into this. You can do this!\u201d and \u201cDo it again!\u201d Today\u2019s conversation\u2014probably, for many of us, is like sitting across the table from one of those friends.<\/p>\n<p>The word that keeps coming to my mind today is \u201cengage\u201d\u2014engage your kids on this topic. Think about this one: \u201cNo else one has the privilege we have, as parents, to come alongside our kids and introduce them to God\u2019s design for sexuality and our identity in Him. What a privilege and who <em>better<\/em> for them to hear it from than the person who cares about them the most?\u2014you, as a parent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; it can be intimidating; but as you said, it\u2019s a privilege; and it\u2019s something we need to be prodded on, from time to time. Thank you, David.<\/p>\n<p>We are going to continue our conversation with Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick tomorrow. I hope our listeners can be back with us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick know the challenge parents face of talking to our kids about sex. They also know that the culture we're in requires that we intentionally educate them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>In case you haven\u2019t noticed, our culture is talking regularly\/loudly about sex. Jessica Thompson says our children are very aware of that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>We\u2019re not in an age anymore, where we can just sit back and not talk to our kids about these things. Everyone at school is talking about them; it\u2019s a frequent conversation. We have to be involved; we have to be proactive with our children in this conversation. The good thing is\u2014that\u2019s not just a one-time conversation you have with your kids.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, April 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Do you think your kids are ready to hear about sex? Ready or not, that conversation is happening. The question is: \u201cAre you a part of it?\u201d Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. Because we have this shared love of old music, do you know the song that was a hit song\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You\u2019re going to start with this?\u2014you\u2019re going to make me look like a fool. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>No; no! I just want to see if you can name\u2014because I actually had this as a 45. You remember 45s; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I had the 45 of a song by a one-hit wonder\u2014a guy by the name of Jewel Akens. Do you have any idea what was his one big hit?\u2014Jewel Akens.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Ann, do you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I have no idea.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You will recognize it as soon as I start singing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m sure. You\u2019re going to sing it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m going to sing it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Oh, sing it, Bob!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Alright; you want a beat?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>[Singing] \u201cLet me tell you \u2018bout\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave and Ann with Bob: \u2014\u201c<\/strong>the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees\u2014[Laughter and mumbling].<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Nobody knows the rest of it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s about as far as we get.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave and Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand the thing called looove.\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know why I brought that up; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Ah, there you go!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I brought that up because we\u2019re going to be talking about the birds and the bees\u2014not the flowers and the trees. We are going to be talking about, as parents, how we engage our kids on this subject.<\/p>\n<p>Did you have any classic Wilson moments on this subject with your boys?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s sort of interesting\u2014my oldest is 32, and he was number one. I was the dad; and it was like, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this right.\u201d I never had my dad talk to me about it\u2014or my mom\u2014so I\u2019m going to do this. I planned this little trip. I think he was\u2014I thought he was ten years old; right? We had this little talk, out in this field, where I\u2014anyway, five or six years ago, I remember asking, \u201cHey, CJ; do you remember that talk we had?\u201d He goes: \u201cDad! I was like <em>six<\/em>.\u201d I was <em>way<\/em> too early. [Laughter] I don\u2019t remember a thing\u2014it was just so weird and awkward.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYou were not six.\u201d He goes, \u201cYes; I was.\u201d I say, \u201cOkay\u201d; so I sort of overdid it there. I got it better with the other two.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay; so I guess these are bad parenting moments, because our <em>youngest<\/em> son is 27. [Laughter] He came up to me the other day and he said, \u201cYou know how you thought you were so open and talking to us about sex and stuff?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cYes,\u201d\u2014you know, I\u2019m like, \u201cHe\u2019s going to <em>thank<\/em> me.\u201d And he goes: \u201cIt was <em>way<\/em> overboard. [Laughter] It was embarrassing the <em>whole<\/em> time, mom!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re going to see if we can fix the two of you, although it\u2019s a little too late to get you fixed. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>It\u2019s too late, Bob.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Are you saying we need help? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>We have brought in the experts to address this\u2014Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick are joining us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Guys\u2014welcome!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You are brother and sister. Our listeners will recognize Jessica from being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in the past with her mom, Elyse Fitzpatrick\u2014your mom\u2014[addressing Joel as well]\u2014Elyse Fitzpatrick.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You guys have, together, as brother and sister\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; totally awkward.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019re written a book called <a id=\"_Hlk4682964\"><\/a><em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em><em>: Giving Your Kids a Gospel-Centered View of Sex in Our Culture.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Joel, \u201cWhy? Why <em>this<\/em> book; and why the two of you, together, as brother and sister?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Yes; I mean, so on the one hand, it\u2019s completely self-serving; because I just needed someone else\u2019s name to put on my book. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014someone who\u2019s sold books before!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; right!\u2014someone who\u2019s sold books before. And I couldn\u2019t do that with my mom, because that wouldbe <em>really<\/em> awkward.<\/p>\n<p>Both Jessica and I have kids, who were raised through the public school system\u2014same public school system\u2014we live near each other. Both our kids are asking the same sorts of questions: \u201cWhat is\u2014we have friends who say they are bi-sexual,\u201d \u201c\u2026who say they are gay,\u201d \u201c\u2026lesbian,\u201d\u2014like: \u201cHow do we work with that?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Me\u2014being a youth pastor at the time\u2014I had just gotten done teaching about a 16-week class on this topic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Sixteen weeks!!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Ohh!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>The class was based off of questions that the kids had asked. I just said: \u201cLook, you guys lead this class. You tell me, and I\u2019m going to bring to you what the Bible says about this topic.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then, I went to Jessica and said: \u201cHey, look; like we\u2019re both struggling with these conversations\u2014like: \u2018How do we do this well? How do we do this in light of the gospel?\u2019\u201d That produced this book.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Just as you were talking about it, I was thinking about, when our kids were little, my boys and girls were not coming home, saying: \u201cDad, what\u2019s lesbianism?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s bi-sexuality?\u201d You don\u2019t remember having those conversations; do you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Never\u2014never had a conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>But <em>today<\/em>\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014it could be your fifth-grader, who says, \u201cWhat does it mean to be gay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Actually, my sixth-grader did come home, her first week in middle school, and said to me, \u201cI met my first transgender person today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Sixth grade. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s different because of where we live. We\u2019re in Southern California\u2014it might be a little bit different\u2014the culture might be a little different there.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re not in an age anymore, where we can sit back and not talk to our kids about these things. Everyone at school is talking about them; it\u2019s a frequent conversation. We have to be involved; we have to be proactive with our children in this conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Not only is everybody talking about it, but there is a <em>dominant<\/em> stream of thinking, where your kids are\u2014not just being engaged: \u201cHey, what do you think?\u201d \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s like: \u201cWhat <em>should<\/em> we think?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s the <em>right<\/em> way to think?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; there are so many opinions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and the right way to think runs contra to what the Bible says is the right way for us to think about this.<\/p>\n<p>I remember one guest we had on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, who said, \u201cMy middle school daughter came home and said, \u201cCan I put a rainbow thing across my Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> profile?\u201d The mom asked, \u201cWell, why do you want to do that?\u201d She said, \u201cBecause if I <em>don\u2019t<\/em>, I\u2019m the only one in my class that doesn\u2019t have that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t a question of: \u201cDo I believe this or not?\u201d\u2014it\u2019s a question of: \u201cWill I be <em>accepted<\/em> in my age group if I don\u2019t buy into the cultural thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; my daughter came home and told me that, in their world history class, they were having a debate over the topic of abortion. She was the only kid in the class who stood up and said anything about babies being human beings and arguing for a pro-life stance.<\/p>\n<p>I think that the culture is definitely taking a shift; and it\u2019s not good enough for us, as parents\u2014there\u2019s a little thing called the internet. If we\u2019re not going to talk about it, our kids are going to go on; and they are going to google: \u201cHomosexuality,\u201d \u201cGay,\u201d \u201cTransgender,\u201d \u201cLesbian.\u201d The things that they\u2019re going to <em>see<\/em> aren\u2019t going to be what we would consider a good, nuanced, healthy way of looking at those issues.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>The fact that your kids have already come to you\u2014and are asking you these questions and talking to you about it\u2014says, to me, you have been talking to them about this for quite a while. How did that start?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I know for me, my daughter\u2014she was probably seven years old\u2014and we were walking through Walmart<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. She asked me about sex. It was important for her to talk to me, right then. Maybe, she felt comfortable then; she was willing to listen then. When you have your kid\u2019s ear\u2014no matter what\u2019s going on\u2014that\u2019s the time you talk about it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, what was your answer to that question, \u201cWhat\u2019s sex?\u201d That\u2019s a pretty big question.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>It was!\u2014yes. I mean, I started\u2014I think I asked her, \u201cWell, what do you mean by \u2018What is sex?\u2019\u201d\u2014right?\u2014like: \u201cWhat are you getting at?\u2014like the mechanics of it all?\u2014or are you getting at some bigger picture?\u201d I started asking her clarifying questions: \u201cWhat do you mean by \u2018What is sex?\u2019\u201d\u2014you know, stuff like: \u201cWhere have you heard\u2026?\u201d\u2014those types of questions.<\/p>\n<p>Then, it got narrowed down to really what she was asking me. It was more of a mechanical question\u2014we just started talking about it. You know, I told her what was age-appropriate for her to know at that point.<\/p>\n<p>The good thing is\u2014this is not a one-time conversation. This conversation\u2014as you have this with your child, it always ends with you saying: \u201cLets talk about this again. <em>Anytime<\/em> you have questions, lets talk about this again. This is an open door, <em>always<\/em><a id=\"_Hlk4584599\"><\/a>. There\u2019s no question that\u2019s wrong. There\u2019s no question that may seem too shameful or off limits. This is <em>always<\/em> an open door. I\u2019m <em>always<\/em> willing to talk to you about it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m the parent that doesn\u2019t have a seven-year-old daughter or son ask me a question. When do I bring this up?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s more my story. My kids didn\u2019t ask the question, right off the bat. But what I did was\u2014I\u2019d just go out on walks with them. I\u2019d ask them about their friends; I\u2019d ask them about their day. Then, just naturally, I\u2019d say: \u201cHey, I know that this is what\u2019s going on in your school. I know you\u2019re coming up on this class...Let\u2019s talk about this some,\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>That\u2019s okay?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cand is it okay for us to talk about this right now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>So you ask them, \u201cIs it okay?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; really, what that does\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I was going to say, \u201cIt\u2019s a big jump for some parents.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know, we\u2019re talking about the day; we\u2019re talking sports, and class, and school; and \u201cNow, lets talk about your private parts.\u201d [Laughter] How do you do that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, there\u2019s never not a time when it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> awkward to start having those conversations. For me, I just had to do it; right? It\u2019s one of these conversations, where you know it is going to be awkward, going into it. I think I, literally, said to my kids\u2014to both of them, as I was talking to them, at different times: \u201cThis is going to be awkward. If this is too awkward for us to talk about right now, then that\u2019s totally fine; but we do need to have this conversation at some point. We can talk it now, or talk about it tomorrow, or the next day or the next week; but we need to start having this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>At what age is that when that should start happening?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; for my son, that was right around seven.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I think as soon as your kids start asking questions or showing any interest. And maybe, they are not even <em>saying<\/em> it; but you see the look in their eye. I think that\u2019s when you start having the conversations. We are not\u2014again, we are not afforded the luxury, in this day and age, to wait.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; and also, we aren\u2019t afforded the luxury of just giving like vague details and saying, \u201cStay away from this, because it\u2019s bad,\u201d anymore; because they have a culture that will come to them and say: \u201cNo,\u201d\u2014actually, like\u2014\u201csexual expression\/sexual identity\u2014that is who you are, as a human being, and to deny that means that you are denying your humanity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We have to do a <em>far<\/em> better job than just saying, \u201cNo.\u201d We have to actually hold out for them something that is <em>beautiful<\/em>, so they are actually <em>drawn<\/em> to that beautiful picture.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s so interesting because even, as a young woman, I remember <em>hearing<\/em> people say, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have sex before you\u2019re married.\u201d I thought: \u201cWhy? That\u2019s the dumbest thing ever,\u201d and no one ever said why\u2014like: \u201cWhat are the dangers of that?\u2014why?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I just thought, when Dave and I got married, I felt, \u201cPeople need to share with kids the whys behind their answers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely! That starts with building, \u201cWhy did God even create it?\u201d\u2014right? It\u2019s not just: \u201cDon\u2019t have sex,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s not our answer. Our answer is never just \u201cDon\u2019t do that!\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s a <em>reason<\/em> why God created sex. There\u2019s a <em>reason<\/em> that He made us bodies to be able to enjoy it\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p>Even if we give them a pat answer like, \u201cIf you have sex before you\u2019re married, it could ruin your sex life when your married.\u201d There\u2019s so much more; this is a more robust topic than just <em>that<\/em>. I think that, as we give our kids this bigger picture\u2014and as we teach them, even, enjoyment is not the end-all in this\u2014\u201cThere\u2019s a bigger picture of finding pleasure in <em>Christ<\/em> and what He says about you,\u201d that I think is the end-all in this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think one of the <em>key<\/em> things we are hearing in this conversation is: \u201cMoms and dads need to be purposeful\/intentional\u2014not reactive\u2014but proactive. You got to have a strategy for this. If you\u2019re thinking, \u201cWell, yes; we\u2019ll have a strategy when they become teenagers,\u201d you have <em>lost<\/em> the game at that point; right?<\/p>\n<p>You, as parents, have got to sit down with a game plan to say: \u201cWhen they\u2019re pre-school, we\u2019re going to have these kinds of conversations,\u201d \u201cWhen they\u2019re headed off to school, we\u2019re going to have to shift it to these kinds of conversations\u2026\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re going to do it regularly; we\u2019re going to do it candidly. We\u2019re going to do it in what\u2019s appropriate language\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It can\u2019t just be mechanics and prohibitions; because I think that\u2019s\u2014a lot of parents would say: \u201cHere\u2019s how it works. Here\u2019s what you don\u2019t do\u2026\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Everyone: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>We\u2019ve handled the issue\u201d; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I can remember\u2014my oldest son was maybe 11 and so that\u2019s means\u2014I have to ask my wife\u2014my second son was nine?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Nine.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And Cody was six. We\u2019re walking through a mall, just me and the boys. I see, up in front of us, a magazine rack, that was like waist level\u2014it was low.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And from a distance\u2014maybe ten\/fifteen yards away\u2014I can see a <em>Sports Illustrated<\/em> swimsuit model on the cover of this thing. I\u2019m, literally, like, \u201cI\u2019ve got to watch my boys to see if they even notice it.\u201d Here\u2019s what I noticed\u2014my oldest saw it; the other two?\u2014they didn\u2019t even know it existed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Right; right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I say to CJ\u2014I said\u2014it was classic\u2014I say: \u201cHey, did you see that magazine rack over there?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I did.\u201d He goes, \u201cOh, yes; well, I did too.\u201d I go, \u201cDid you see that girl in a bathing suit?\u201d He goes, \u201cNo.\u201d I go, \u201cWell, I did.\u201d He goes: \u201cOh, well, yeah. I might\u2019ve seen it too.\u201d I go, \u201cWell, did you want to look at it?\u201d He said, \u201cNo; I didn\u2019t want to look at it, Dad\u201d; because he knew\u2014he\u2019s probably thinking, \u201cI shouldn\u2019t.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I wanted to look at it,\u201d and I said: \u201cThere\u2019s going to be things like that all around.\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t look at that, because I only want to look at your mom like that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I remember this\u2014and he\u2019s 11\u2014I said: \u201cBut there\u2019s nothing wrong with desiring to look at a pretty woman dressed like that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u201cI just wanted to tell you something,\u201d\u2014I remember using the term, I think, I heard it from FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014I said: \u201cIt\u2019s like drinking sewer water. You have to very careful; it can really be harmful.\u201d I almost had this bond, with the 11-year-old\u2014like: \u201cAs men, let\u2019s win this thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Is it that kind of stuff going on?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>First of all, I think that it\u2019s important to say that, if your kids are teenagers and you haven\u2019t had this conversation, that doesn\u2019t mean that their life is over. It doesn\u2019t mean that <em>you<\/em> are a failure, as a parent. It means: \u201cThis is a <em>great<\/em> opportunity for you to go and capture these moments with your kids and help set this, because your kids aren\u2019t going to be teenagers forever. They\u2019re going to grow up, and their view of their sexuality is going to affect them for the rest of their lives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Second thing is\u2014openness, as a man, I think, with our sons\u2014is so vital\/<em>so<\/em> vital; because what it does is\u2014it levels the playing ground for both of us. It says: \u201cLook, I\u2019m a sinner; you\u2019re a sinner. Both of us need just as much Jesus as the other person does. Let\u2019s, actually, have a real conversation about this, where we can be open; and we can be frank. I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> going to come down on you because your eyes <em>move<\/em> to something\u2014that, as a man\u2014it\u2019s natural for our eyes to move to.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; I want to move back to your first point. I want us to coach parents, who are maybe late to the game on this. If you were\u2014tonight or this weekend\u2014going to have a conversation with your 12-year-old, how would you <em>start<\/em> that conversation?\u2014and how would you keep it from just being the creepiest thing that that child ever experienced? [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know how to keep it from being creepy; but I will say this: \u201cThe best place to start in a conversation with your kid is ask for forgiveness\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cfor loving your comfort more than you\u2019ve loved them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>You are automatically, at that point, bringing the gospel in.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You would say: \u201cYou know, there\u2019s something we haven\u2019t talked much about,\u201d and \u201cWe should have talked about this more than we have. That\u2019s on me; and I just want to ask you, right here, at the beginning, \u2018Would you forgive me for not\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica:<\/strong> \u2014\u201cpursuing you\u201d; yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014\u201chaving the guts to deal with this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Is it okay to say, \u201cIt feels awkward and weird to me\u201d?<\/p>\n<p><a id=\"_Hlk4659311\"><\/a><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>One hundred percent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Why do we act like it\u2019s\u2014I mean, I think we think: \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got to come in with all the answers. I\u2019ve got to be straight-faced. I got to say it all just right.\u201d It\u2019s like: \u201cNo!\u2014the gospel frees you! The gospel frees you to say, \u2018I messed up.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And our kids want honesty.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Absolutely! They know you are a screw-up\u2014they live with you. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Shocker! Your kids know you screwed up! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>I think\u2014and Joel, you can go into more detail\u2014but I think starting out with: \u201cPlease forgive me. I failed and I want to ask for your forgiveness. I want to admit, right up front, that this is awkward. Because we love you\u2014because we love God and we believe the Bible\u2014we are going to press through into this conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>Yes; I would say it\u2019s important on two fronts. One, if you\u2019re a dad\u2014and your trying to do that with your daughter\u2014you need to ask permission from your daughter, because that\u2019s a level of awkwardness for your daughter that may be too far for them if that\u2019s the first time you are broaching that subject.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Should the dad do it?\u2014or should the mom do it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: <\/strong>I do think so. I think the dad needs to be involved\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel: \u2014<\/strong>at some level. I think daughters hunger\u2014I think they yearn to hear their dad tell them that they\u2019re beautiful, in a non-sexual way. I think they need to learn what love, that\u2019s not sexual, means and how that looks. I mean, like I\u2019m not going to go in and talk to my daughter about all the workings of a female body; right?\u2014I mean, my wife knows that far better than I ever will.<\/p>\n<p>If I were a single dad?\u2014then, yes; I would need to have a conversation with her\u2014maybe even a trusted woman, who I know my daughter has an affinity to, and invite them into the conversation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>And single moms too\u2014like don\u2019t be afraid to talk to your sons. I think that that\u2019s a good thing to do. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a bad or wrong thing to do. Obviously, like Joel\u2019s saying, bringing other men into the conversation would be a good idea\u2014or if you have a husband, who is unwilling.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; that\u2019s what I was going to say: \u201cWhat about the spouse, who has a spouse that is unwilling\u2014like, \u2018I\u2019m not going there\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica: <\/strong>Yes; then I think it\u2019s appropriate for the opposite gendered spouse to talk to the kids. I don\u2019t there is anything wrong with that. Obviously, again, if you can bring other people into the conversation, who understand the workings of the other person\u2019s gendered body in a different way\u2014that\u2019s great. I don\u2019t think there is anything wrong with starting the conversation with them.<\/p>\n<p>You can build a robust theology of sexuality without ever getting into a lot of the details; right? You can do that with an opposite-gendered person. Again, I think Joel is right\u2014asking for permission, which is something we don\u2019t often do with our kids. But opening it up for them to say: \u201cYou know what? This is too uncomfortable for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, if you guys were sitting down with a young family\/a young couple\u2014they\u2019ve got kids, who are pre-school or, maybe, early elementary\u2014they\u2019re saying: \u201cWhen do we bring this up?\u201d \u201cWhat do we do?\u201d \u201c How do we go about it? We\u2019re scared, and we don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d What\u2019s your best advice?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I\u2019m the expert on this, Bob, as you know. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Take them to a field! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Take them to a field, where they can see the birds and the bees! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>You know what the expert does\u2014he defers to his wife. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Joel:<\/strong> Well done! Well done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And I would say, \u201cYou should get this book,<em> Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well done!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jessica and Joel: <\/strong>We were pointing to the book, vigorously: \u201cBuy the book!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think we\u2019ve solved it then. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com to order the book, <em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>, by Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick. Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information.<\/p>\n<p>Jessica is part of FamilyLife\u2019s <a id=\"_Hlk4764438\"><\/a><em>Art of Parenting<\/em>\u2122 video series. If you haven\u2019t gone through the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> together\u2014as a couple, or with a small group, or in a church setting\u2014find out more about the<em> Art of Parenting<\/em> video series when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.<\/p>\n<p>Then, of course, we\u2019ve got the getaway weekend for parents called <a id=\"_Hlk4764688\"><\/a><em>Passport2Purity<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, where you can begin a series of conversations with your kids around sexuality. Information about<em> Passport2Purity<\/em> is available, online, as well. Again\u2014the book: <em>Mom, Dad\u2026What\u2019s Sex?<\/em>\u2014the <em>Art of Parenting <\/em>video series\u2014and the <em>Passport2Purity<\/em> resources\u2014find them all at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for information about any of these resources\u20141-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, helping moms and dads be ready for all that\u2019s facing us, as parents\u2014that\u2019s part of the mission, here, at FamilyLife. We want to effectively develop godly marriages and families. We want to help equip parents to the important assignment of raising the next generation and pointing them in the right direction as we release them out into the world. <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> exists to provide you practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family.<\/p>\n<p>It also exists because of listeners, like you, who make this radio program possible. The fact that our program is heard\u2014on this station, heard online, you can even have Alexa play <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014all of that is made possible because of listeners, like you, who support the work that we\u2019re doing, here, at FamilyLife. Your donations go <em>entirely<\/em> to help cover the cost of producing and syndicating the work of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Whether you give occasionally or you are one of our regular Legacy Partners, we are <em>so<\/em> grateful for your partnership with us. You can make a donation, online, today at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation. When you do, we\u2019d love to sent you a copy of Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s book, <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>\u2014help you to get to know the Wilson\u2019s better, and you\u2019ll learn some great principles for how to have a strong marriage relationship that is anchored in Christ. Ask for your copy of the book, <em>Vertical Marriage,<\/em> when you donate, today, at FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call to donate: 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number.<\/p>\n<p>Now, as we\u2019ve been talking about teaching our kids about sex, I\u2019ve been noticing that the President of FamilyLife, David Robbins, has been taking furious notes. This is where you\u2019re living; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>I\u2019m right in the thick of it with a 12-year-old, 10-year-old and 9-year-old. These conversations are coming up, and we are seeking to be pro-active about it. It was <em>great<\/em> to have this moment today, where it\u2019s kind of like, you know, we need those friends in our lives that gently but firmly keep saying to us: \u201cCome on. You need to step into this. You can do this!\u201d and \u201cDo it again!\u201d Today\u2019s conversation\u2014probably, for many of us, is like sitting across the table from one of those friends.<\/p>\n<p>The word that keeps coming to my mind today is \u201cengage\u201d\u2014engage your kids on this topic. Think about this one: \u201cNo else one has the privilege we have, as parents, to come alongside our kids and introduce them to God\u2019s design for sexuality and our identity in Him. What a privilege and who <em>better<\/em> for them to hear it from than the person who cares about them the most?\u2014you, as a parent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; it can be intimidating; but as you said, it\u2019s a privilege; and it\u2019s something we need to be prodded on, from time to time. Thank you, David.<\/p>\n<p>We are going to continue our conversation with Jessica Thompson and Joel Fitzpatrick tomorrow. I hope our listeners can be back with us for that.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. 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