{"id":304924,"date":"2019-04-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-04-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/embracing-the-truth\/"},"modified":"2025-05-16T12:22:23","modified_gmt":"2025-05-16T16:22:23","slug":"embracing-the-truth","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-the-truth\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing the Truth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Does life feel overwhelming? Author and mother of five, Kay Wills Wyma, encourages listeners to find perspective and freedom by being overwhelmed with the truth instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does life feel overwhelming? Author and mother of five, Kay Wills Wyma, encourages listeners to find perspective and freedom by being overwhelmed with the truth instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:05","filesize":"24.8M","filesize_raw":"26001647","date_recorded":"2019-04-04 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2853,2838],"tags":[4007,6560,6559,6558],"podcast_series":[8263],"cwp_profile":[9785],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304924","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-frazzled-family","category-mothers","tag-busyness","tag-cant-do-it-all","tag-fulfilled-life","tag-overwhelmed","podcast_series-not-the-boss-of-us","cwp_profile-kay-wyma","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304924\/embracing-the-truth","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304924\/embracing-the-truth","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"G0Z029F2B4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-the-truth\/\">Embracing the Truth<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-the-truth\/embed\/#?secret=G0Z029F2B4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Embracing the Truth&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"G0Z029F2B4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Does life feel overwhelming? Author and mother of five, Kay Wills Wyma, encourages listeners to find perspective and freedom by being overwhelmed with the truth instead.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2019-04-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>When something really matters, we want to make sure we get it right. As a result, Kay Wyma says a lot of us find ourselves overwhelmed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>You take parents these days\u2014and there\u2019s this, you know, intensity about good parenting. It\u2019s like you judge yourself as a parent. It\u2019s that way with performance issues. To have the person be striving to be a good parent\u2014good luck! No matter how far you get, there\u2019s always the next little measuring mark to cross, and you\u2019re going to be on that treadmill to nowhere forever.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, April 4<sup>th<\/sup>. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson; I'm Bob Lepine. Do you find yourself overwhelmed by a mountain of responsibilities?\u2014feeling pressured to get everything perfect? We have good news for you today. Stay with us.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We\u2019re going to tackle probably a universal issue today. I think if we just surveyed the listening audience and said, \u201cHow many of you are dealing with this?\u2014 you would say, \u2018This is a part of my life,\u2019\u201d maybe three percent would say, \u201cNo! I\u2019m not dealing with this,\u201d and they\u2019re all under the age of three; so\u2014[Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But we\u2019re going to be talking about feeling overwhelmed. We\u2019re going to be talking about this with somebody, who\u2014and you recognize, just in meeting her, that she\u2019s pretty no-nonsense when it comes\/when she faces an issue\u2014it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cAlright; get out of my way,\u201d\u2014right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I <em>love<\/em> Kay; yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes; I was going to say, \u201cYou\u2019re a lot like Ann Wilson, my wife.\u201d You know, it\u2019s interesting that we\u2019re talking about this today. I spent two-and-a-half hours last night\u2014between the hours of 1:30 and 4:00 a.m.\u2014couldn\u2019t sleep. I\u2019m not a guy that usually has problems sleeping\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; you don\u2019t do that\u2014that\u2019s usually <em>me<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014but just the schedule and things coming up\u2014overwhelmed. So it\u2019s a perfect day for me\u2014I want to hear where you\u2019re going to help me!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Let me introduce Kay Wyma to our audience. Kay is a mom of five; she\u2019s the author of two other books. She\u2019s been, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> as a guest before. She\u2019s a blogger; she lives in Dallas with her husband and her kids. This new book is called <em>Not the Boss of Us<\/em>. Again, that title is so Kay Wyma. [Laughter] It\u2019s like you\u2019re not overwhelmed: \u201cYou\u2019re not going to be the boss of me.\u201d That\u2019s just kind of how you do life; isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Well, my poor children have had that yelled at them, getting out of the car. One time, I did it out the window; and I embarrassed <em>myself<\/em>, let alone the kid\u2014that I was like: \u201cThis isn\u2019t the boss of you!\u201d \u201cThat coach is <em>not<\/em> the boss of you!\u201d\u2014you know. And I was like [sound of car window rolling up] as everybody\u2019s looking, rolling up the window and scrunching down; and the kid\u2019s just shaking his head.<\/p>\n<p>Because so much of the things in the world just aren\u2019t the boss of us, but we <em>let<\/em> them be the boss of us. It was like: \u201cHold on a second. What if we stopped for a second and allowed truth\u2014which, actually, <em>is<\/em> the boss of us\u2014to overwhelm us instead of all the other pressures, and circumstances, and stresses that are fleeting, even though they seem enormous in the moment?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I love that; don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Me too! I <em>love<\/em> that, and I want it; but I\u2019m like, \u201cHow do we do that?\u201d\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>It\u2019s yours. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014because we feel so overwhelmed. I think every single listener would agree: \u201cI\u2019m feeling overwhelmed in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You, as a woman\u2014what overwhelms us?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I mean, you could go down the list. It sort of depends on what life stage you\u2019re in; because I think each of us could, too, go, \u201cOh, this was so overwhelming to me in that life stage.\u201d That\u2019s a huge thing to be able to help overcome overwhelmed\u2014is perspective\u2014to be able to look back in your life and go, \u201cOh, when I was in high school, this was the thing that so overwhelmed me\u201d; and it would be something like, \u201cWas I invited to prom?\u201d\u2014because, if I was invited to prom, then that would mean \u201cI\u2019m okay,\u201d which is on the other side of so much of this stuff: \u201cIf you do this, then you\u2019re okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But if you add <em>truth<\/em> to the equation\u2014which, actually, is the reality\u2014it changes <em>everything<\/em>; because God doesn\u2019t define us by, you know, what we do. Everything around us says: \u201cYou are who you\u2019ve become,\u201d \u201cYou are what you do,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re only okay if\u2026\u201d So it\u2019s the <em>doing<\/em> that defines who I am. Well, God determines our worth\u2014it\u2019s <em>not<\/em> attached to anything we\u2019re doing\u2014so it\u2019s like, \u201cWhy not buy into that for five minutes?\u201d\u2014you know, instead of like\u2014even if we gave it equal time. When I worked at the White House, everywhere we went\/wherever I was an advance person\u2014so whatever town we showed up in, there was always equal time. For whatever time my boss got on the air, there was a time, exactly the same, for the other side to get.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s sort of like, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we give truth the same respect, and just give it equal time?\u201d\u2014you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Okay; paint me a picture: \u201cWhat does that look like?\u201d Let\u2019s say I look at myself and I think, \u201cOh my; when was the last time I worked out?\u201d or \u201cWhat am I going to be doing, as a mom, when my kids are so out-of-control?\u201d So, give me an example\u2014I take a breath, and then what?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I think a big part of it\u2014because a lot of that has to do with outward appearance, even. I mean, that\u2019s a big thing for women and men, you know. They\u2019re showing that the rise in eating disorders with young men is higher than it is with young women. So\u2014I know; isn\u2019t that fascinating?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>It\u2019s this obsession. We live in a society, right now, that\u2019s very much driven by appearance. Social media has helped that, for sure; because you have these curated images that are presented to people. That\u2019s what the reality looks like, when, you know, the truth of it is\u2014and whether or not we know it\u2014the picture you see is not the picture behind the picture.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, we know that in our heads; but to actually have that work itself out while you\u2019re looking at the picture just doesn\u2019t work\u2014so you see yourself in the mirror, and it\u2019s like instant judgment.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>It\u2019s like: \u201cCould you, for a second, call it out and say, \u2018That is judgment based on this.\u2019 Is it true?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Go to Samuel\u2014the Lord\u2014because, when he was choosing David as the king\u2014you know, he\u2019s going through all the boys, looking at all the ones that <em>look<\/em> like they should be the one, but it\u2019s the one who <em>didn\u2019t<\/em> look like he should be the one that was chosen. The Lord, Himself, said to Samuel, \u201cMan looks at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So it\u2019s like: \u201cCould we just, for a second, let that play in my head?\u201d and then, give myself a break, you know. We can certainly go down all the ways to be able to do that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You battled with an eating disorder when you were in college.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I did; yes, I did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>How did it try to define you, and how did you deal with it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Man, so much! That was a big performance pressure issue, and that\u2019s one of the chapters in the book. When I wrote the book, I sort of was like, \u201cI don\u2019t want to just write about this; I want to be proactive to call these things out.\u201d It\u2019s like, rather than be overwhelmed by performance pressures that are significant, why not be overwhelmed by truth? That is your giftedness and purpose that is woven within you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>For me, during my\u2014you know, years, it was\u2014I had this stress. I dealt with it through an eating disorder.<\/p>\n<p>You also have people going the extra step, which is sort of how the book started\u2014was a friend of my daughter\u2019s that thought the world would be better without her. It was a tragedy that, to this day, still means a lot in our family; because that child was overwhelmed. They really tried to find what it was that spurred her to take an action like that, and they don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, as you look back on your experience with the eating disorder\u2014trying to analyze that today\u2014what was behind it and how did you deal with it?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Yes; absolutely the same thing: \u201cI have to do in order to be okay.\u201d I was a great tennis player; I was a student that tried very hard. It\u2019s sort of like\u2014put yourself in whatever category, because it\u2019s something for everyone\u2014where you\u2019ve said, \u201cIf this happens, then I\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>You take parents these days\u2014and there\u2019s this, you know, intensity about parenting. It\u2019s like you judge yourself as a parent; and it\u2019s sort of like, \u201cYou\u2019re a parent because you have a kid that you can love better than anyone on this earth can love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not a product\u2014so, in those performance pressures, you have a part of that that involves a human being [treated like] a product; and people are <em>not<\/em> products\u2014they\u2019re humans! In our culture, there\u2019s a trend toward that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And I think with social media today, we are compounded with pressure; because now, we\u2019re comparing ourselves to every other woman\u2014to every other mom\/dad\u2014and it\u2019s painting a very unreal picture and reality of life. We\u2019re combatting that as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Right; and it makes a person an object. You could say, \u201cYou\u2019re a good parent.\u201d Well, there\u2019s good parenting, you know; but to have the person be striving to be a good parent\u2014good luck! I mean, you\u2019re going to be on that treadmill to nowhere forever.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s that way with performance issues\u2014no matter how far you get, there\u2019s always the next little measuring mark to cross, because it\u2019s elusive. The \u201cenough\u201d doesn\u2019t exist, so it\u2019s like you will always be striving. That\u2019s what the world will say to you: \u201cStrive,\u201d \u201cStrive,\u201d \u201cStrive,\u201d \u201cStrive,\u201d \u201cStrive\u201d; \u201cGo,\u201d \u201cGo,\u201d \u201cGo,\u201d \u201cGo,\u201d \u201cGo\u201d; and \u201cBe\u2026\u201d \u201cBe\u2026\u201d \u201cBe\u2026\u201d and you\u2019re going to be judged on that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; let me turn this to the guy, who was a Hall of Fame quarterback when he was in college.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, I\u2019m glad you brought that up, Bob! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I love that! That\u2019s such a good one, though!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I wanted to bring that up, but it\u2019s so much better when somebody else does; you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>But I love that. That\u2019s a great thing, because that was an identifier for you; you know what I mean?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did you feel performance pressure all the time?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh my. You know, I didn\u2019t know it at the time, obviously; and then, when I got done, Ann and I get married. We go to serve as chaplains at the University of Nebraska, and\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>And this will be the first time in probably how long that you have not played a sport?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>In a decade maybe; right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>More!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes, I played football probably 20\u201418 years\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>\u2014yes, from Little Pee Wee League deal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So we\u2019re in Nebraska. Probably six months into this new life and new job, I realize, \u201cNobody knows who I was.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>So I actually\u2014I\u2019m embarrassed to tell you this. [Laughter] I said to Ann one night\u2014you know, no kids; just newlyweds\u2014I said, \u201cHey, when we\u2019re in a meeting or something, and somebody\u2019s introducing me, could you just throw in that I was an all-American Hall of Fame\u2026\u201d\u2014you know, I wasn\u2019t Hall of Fame yet; but you know. She goes, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d I go\u2014I\u2019m just like: \u201c\u2019Here\u2019s Dave Wilson, he\u2019s on staff as a minister,\u2019\u2014that\u2019s terrible! I have <em>no<\/em> credibility!\u201d [Laughter] So they don\u2019t know it [my accomplishments]; I can\u2019t say; because it\u2019d be so weird if I\u2014so she\u2014my wife goes, \u201cYes; I\u2019ll do that for you!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>I look back on that and I\u2019m like, \u201cOh my; how\u2026\u201d You know, there was no social media then; I couldn\u2019t tweet it out, so I had to have that\u2014that was my identity\u2014that\u2019s all I knew as \u201cWho I am.\u201d I did not know anything deeper than that, which is so sad.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And when you didn\u2019t have that\u2014that first year you didn\u2019t play football, were you unsure of who you were?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. Again, I\u2019d never admit it\u2014I\u2019d pretend. I\u2019d slip it in anywhere I could: \u201cLet\u2019s go play football. Let me show you my arm.\u201d [Laughter] It was terrible; but I could not function apart from that\u2014I\u2019m not kidding\u2014for awhile. It forced me to say, \u201cOkay; who am I apart from this?\u2014because this is really very little of who I am.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>It\u2019s interesting, because Dave and I served as chaplains for the Detroit Lions for 33 years; so I\u2019ve worked with these guys\u2019 wives for 33 years. I usually say\u2014at least, once a year\u2014\u201cI just want you to know that your husband could be done tomorrow in his career because of an injury,\u201d or \u201c\u2026it could be ten or thirteen years.\u201d Generally, it\u2019s how long, Dave?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Three years.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Three years. I said, \u201cJust know that your husband will have an identity crisis when this is over; because his whole life, he has been applauded and looked to as a pro football player.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Here\u2019s the thing, though\u2014even when that\u2019s still a part of your identity\u2014and this is the point of Kay\u2019s book\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s one thing to lose your identity; but to <em>own<\/em> your identity and be overwhelmed by your identity\u2014that can kill you as much as losing your identity.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Right! Yes! Unless your identity is the One who created you; because to be overwhelmed by your identity\u2014like, your <em>true<\/em> identity\u2014changes <em>everything<\/em>, especially if you grow to know the One whose you are; okay?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Because He\u2019s the Lord of the universe! There is no authority or dominion that is over Him. He sees all; He knows all. He says these words about us; and it\u2019s like, \u201cAnd the Lord God said, \u2018I have called you by name.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>So He knows my name. Whatever the need to belong is\u2014because that\u2019s a <em>huge<\/em> need for people right now\u2014and it\u2019s why they\u2019re searching: \u201cI need to belong,\u201d\u2014it goes to the alone thing: \u201cYou are <em>not<\/em> alone,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s the truth.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And when did this become a reality? I have to tell you\u2014when I was reading your book\u2014you can see, I folded down this page\u2014on Page 33\u2014and it\u2019s when you come back from the eating disorder and your friend says, \u201cOh, it\u2019s over now; and your pants look a little tight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Yes; that was brutal\u2014someone very close in my life that said that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Seriously? Wow!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>And I thought, \u201cOh man, what did that feel like?\u201d But\u2014obviously, it\u2019s never over\u2014but how did you recover? How did you get to a place where you, now, know your identity?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Man, that\u2019s such a great question. I think a <em>huge<\/em> part of that is the Lord paving the path for me to be able to be around people that taught me about grace. I had <em>never<\/em> heard that. I had always, as a child\u2014I really had a faith by the time I was seven. I don\u2019t know why; but even within church, I always heard: \u201cYou\u2019re in,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re out.\u201d So religion was a big part for me as far as performance goes, because I always felt like I was in if I was doing good; I was out if I was doing bad.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And \u201cGod loves you,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s kind of your perception that you kind of take on.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Well, sure. I knew He loved me, but I didn\u2019t want to disappoint Him. I was in fellowship; out of fellowship\u2014in; out \/ in; out \/ in; out. It was too overwhelming for me, so I found ways\u2014I guess, I learned that my method of coping was my attempt to control so that I could be okay; you know. Being set free from that was significant; okay?\u2014the concept of grace was enormous to me.<\/p>\n<p>Then, you have to sit in this world\u2014well, what does that look like?\u2014because you still <em>do<\/em>, but then there\u2019s grace involved. I think that\u2019s a huge part of the mystery of God and the mystery of faith\u2014you know, being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you don\u2019t see; but the \u201cwhat you hope for\u201d and the \u201cwhat you don\u2019t see\u201d is the truth. It\u2019s time-tested; it never changes. <em>He<\/em> doesn\u2019t ever change\u2014yesterday, today, forever\u2014He is always the same.<\/p>\n<p>You can look at the things in culture and society and, without a doubt, consistently, every single time, they change. It always does. It\u2019s [the same] with any identifier\u2014like for you, it was football\u2014was the identifier. If my identity is attached to that, it\u2019s going to rock the boat.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why I share a story in the book about a gal named Maddy Holleran, who was at Penn, when she met NCAA competition. It changed her identifier; because she was no longer the best at what she was doing, and she didn\u2019t know what to do with it. She, too\u2014under the weight of feeling like she was disappointing everybody because she wasn\u2019t the best anymore\u2014she opted to no longer be here.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s like, \u201cNo!\u201d\u2014that\u2019s where I sit, Bob. I\u2019m like, \u201cThis stuff is not the boss of us!\u201d It makes me so angry; and I\u2019m like, \u201cNo; you don\u2019t get to steal the life.\u201d All this overwhelming stuff steals from us\u2014like it steals contentment; it steals peace\u2014but, quite frankly, when it stole the life of my daughter\u2019s friend, I was like, \u201c<em>No<\/em>,\u201d\u2014like it makes me mad right now.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>I can feel your\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Well, I was with that girl\u2019s mom last night; because it was the anniversary. I mean\u2014[Taking time to compose herself]\u2014I mean, what do you do? It\u2019s too much.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s so perceptive for all of us just to pull back and to say: \u201cWhere do we go for validation? Where do we go for affirmation\/for acceptance?\u201d Whatever will give that to us\u2014we are prone to want to perform, and to over-perform, and to become overwhelmed; because we\u2019re so hungry for those things.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re saying, \u201cThe only real place to find acceptance, validation, affirmation, is in a relationship with Christ and in an understanding of grace.\u201d This was so good that you said this, because some people can become overwhelmed by being spiritually overwhelmed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>For sure; right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u201cI have to do this, spiritually,\u201d \u201cI have to do this,\u201d and \u201cI didn\u2019t read my Bible this morning,\u201d and \u201cI dropped the ball here,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m supposed to go to this meeting.\u201d They find themselves overwhelmed; and they\u2019re over-performing, thinking that either \u201cGod will love me more,\u201d or \u201cThe people in the church will accept me more if I just perform at this level.\u201d That\u2019s where you have to understand, \u201cThis is about grace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I love that. And I think, too, it\u2019s about\u2014we can <em>know<\/em> it in our head, intellectually; because I\u2019ve known that. Since I gave my life to Jesus, as a 16-year-old, that\u2019s in my <em>head<\/em>; but it\u2019s another thing to get it down to your heart\u2014to believe it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and in your feet?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Right!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes; to live it, to act it, and to feel it.<\/p>\n<p>I know that\u2014I was a gymnast, growing up. As a 12-year-old, I was excited\u2014it was the first time that I had placed in a national meet, and I was so excited. I was the youngest of four. My dad was a coach; my brother was a coach. I put up my ribbons and my medals; and I told my mom: \u201cWhen my dad and brother get home, make sure they come in and look at them,\u201d and \u201cWake me up so that they can tell me how great I did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was all excited. They wake me up; and I\u2019m like, \u201cHere it comes!\u201d you know, because my family\u2019s very athletic and very performance-oriented. My dad wakes me up, and my brother looks at me. I said: \u201cDid you guys see my medals? Did you see my trophy and ribbons?\u201d And my brother\u2014he meant well\u2014but he said: \u201cWe are the Barrons, and never be satisfied if you come home with a second place. If you don\u2019t come home with a first place, don\u2019t come home at all.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Wow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong><em>Suddenly<\/em>, I was a failure. I felt this <em>extreme<\/em> pressure, in every single area of my life, to perform.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s something about going back and identifying that\u2014like: \u201cOh. That\u2019s where that false identity came from\u201d and \u201cJesus, what do You think about my performance?\u201d I remember\u2014I\u2019ve spent <em>hours<\/em> with Him, journaling: \u201cGod, what do You think of me?\u201d Every time, I hear, \u201cYou are My beloved daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Beloved. I was about to say, \u201cYou want to know what He thinks?\u201d\u2014beloved.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Yes! [Laughter] And you know what? We believe the lies! Why don\u2019t we believe that truth?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>Because that is the truth\u2014God says, \u201cYou\u2019re beautiful. I died for you. I love you. You\u2019re enough. I rejoice in you.\u201d There are so many things that God\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Keep going! Keep going; I like hearing this!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I know!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Wow; it\u2019s so beautiful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>And yet, we believe the lie of the enemy, who comes to steal, kill, and destroy; and he starts with our minds, saying, \u201cYou\u2019re not enough.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Kay, talk about this: \u201cHow important is it to keep inputting truth as compared to lies in our life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>There\u2019s definitely a proactive thing about it; but here goes the difference between religion and relationship, because even hearing that could make someone be like: \u201cOh my!\u2014one more thing. I can\u2019t do it!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I\u2019m guessing that a lot of us have a weird relationship with quiet time, you know, because it does feel like something you must do. It\u2019s sort of like, \u201cOkay; if you can just say to the Lord, \u2018I\u2019m going to let all of my preconceived ideas and whatever it is\u2014I\u2019m putting them in a bag, literally, and I\u2019m parking them outside. I\u2019m not going to let them play. I simply want to know You,\u2019\u201d\u2014that\u2019s it. If you can go to Scripture, just saying, \u201cPlease show me who You are,\u201d\u2014that\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>That\u2019s great.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>Then, read to know <em>Him<\/em>, which is a lot different than reading it to tell me how to live.<\/p>\n<p>Most of us have grown up\u2014because everything around us in society, from the minute you\u2019re born\u2014like, you leave the hospital with a chart, you know; and if you\u2019re duo on the chart, then you\u2019re good and you\u2019ve got\u2014okay? So everything around us is <em>that<\/em> message.<\/p>\n<p>If I read to know Him, you might actually get to know Him, where you believe Him when He says of you: \u201cYou are honored in my sight,\u201d \u201cYou are precious to Me,\u201d \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s so good. I\u2019m just thinking: \u201cEverybody listening needs to roll down their window; and you need to focus, right now, on what it is that\u2019s overwhelming you in your life,\u201d\u2014alright?\u2014\u201cAnd on the count of three, we\u2019ll all shout it together\u201d; okay? [Laughter] You\u2019re just going to shout, \u201cYou are not the boss of me!\u201d Ready?\u2014one, two, three\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>All: <\/strong>\u201cYou are not the boss of me!\u201d [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>You can just do that in your car as you\u2019re driving\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>I would say: \u201cThrow them out the window\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Throw\u2026?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ann: <\/strong>\u2014\u201cthrow the things that are overwhelming you out the window.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just wanted to make sure you weren\u2019t talking about your kids or something else. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dave: <\/strong>No; we\u2019ve only done that once.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>And then, get a copy\u2014and don\u2019t get overwhelmed by this\u2014but get a copy of Kay\u2019s book, <em>Not the Boss of Us<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kay: <\/strong>I hope you\u2019re set free by it. [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes! Absolutely. The book is called <em>Not the Boss of Us: Putting Overwhelmed in Its Place in a Do-All, Be-All World.<\/em> We have copies of it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can order it from us, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; the number to call to order the book, <em>Not the Boss of Us<\/em>, is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329.<\/p>\n<p>Now, the opportunity for us to have this kind of conversation and all share in what we\u2019ve talked about today really comes as a result of listeners, like you, who have said: \u201cThese kinds of topics\/this kind of interaction is important to us. It\u2019s not only important to us, we think it\u2019s important for others in our community and others all around the world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When you donate to support this ministry, either as a monthly Legacy Partner or with a one-time donation, you\u2019re helping us reach more people, more regularly, with practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families; and we appreciate your partnership in this endeavor.<\/p>\n<p>If you can help with a donation today, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you Dave and Ann Wilson\u2019s new book, <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em>\u2014a <em>great<\/em> book that takes you into their story and shares what they\u2019ve learned about how to build a strong marriage relationship. Ask for your copy of <em>Vertical Marriage<\/em> when you donate to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, either online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I\u2019m sitting here, reflecting on the fact that Kay\u2019s book is called <em>Not the Boss of Us<\/em>; and here, we have the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, who is the boss of us\u2014that\u2019s the truth. [Laughter] So what do you have, boss?<\/p>\n<p><strong>David: <\/strong>Oh, man. I\u2019m glad I have another boss in Jesus\u2014that\u2019s for sure! [Laughter]<\/p>\n<p>You know, as I hear Kay share her story, I have this flashback to looking myself in the mirror my sophomore year of college and coming to terms with certain things that were going on underneath the surface in my life. I\u2019m a recovering perfectionist. I was beginning to apply some of that, living on my own, in the area of how I looked and with fitness. I was obsessing over working out.<\/p>\n<p>God confronted me with the truth in 1 Timothy 4:7\u2014it says, \u201cFor physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present and the life to come.\u201d And I, as I looked in the mirror\u2014I remember praying a prayer, going: \u201cGod, You have my best in mind. I want <em>You<\/em> to be defining my identity; <em>You<\/em> to be defining the time I spend and where I spend my time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He was really pressing in\u2014going, \u201cYou\u2019re obsessing and spending way too much time over how you look and working out.\u201d I remember committing, at that time: \u201cAlright; I won\u2019t work out alone. I know what happens in my head when I\u2019m working out alone; so I\u2019m going to start playing basketball, and racquetball, and doing things with other people,\u201d and \u201cI\u2019ll do that for a\u00a0 year.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As I did that, God began to invite me into viewing myself the right way. Today\u2019s conversation makes me ask, honestly\u2014and I\u2019d invite us all to ask honestly: \u201cDo we let God\u2019s truth have a louder voice to our souls and to our identity than all the lies the world feeds us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s a good question to ask. Thank you, David.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re going to continue this conversation about feeling overwhelmed with Kay Wyma tomorrow. I hope our listeners can be back with us for that.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2019 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304924"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304924"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304924"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304924"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}