{"id":304718,"date":"2017-10-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-10-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/love-has-teeth\/"},"modified":"2017-10-10T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-10-10T15:00:00","slug":"love-has-teeth","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-has-teeth\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Has Teeth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Dave Harvey, Paul Gilbert | Series: Letting Go | When you love someone who continually makes wrong choices, what should you do? Co-authors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert remind listeners that even though you&#8217;d do anything to see your loved one restored to the right place, the prodigal mindset doesn&#8217;t respect the fear or neediness of the person trying to love them.\u00a0So the offended must exhibit a rugged love that draws boundaries, and must not\u00a0enable sinful behavior.Show Notes &#038; ResourcesFREE 15-Day Devotional to use with the book &#8216;Letting Go&#8217; by Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you love someone who continually makes wrong choices, what should you do? Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert say, the offended must exhibit a rugged love that draws boundaries, and doesn&#8217;t\u00a0enable sinful behavior.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-10-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:19","filesize":"25.93M","filesize_raw":"27192580","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2840,2841,2903,2873],"tags":[5330,2699,4296,6337],"podcast_series":[8239],"cwp_profile":[3284,9470],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304718","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-addiction","category-anger-and-rebellion","category-infidelity","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-forgive","tag-forgiveness","tag-prodigals","tag-wayward","podcast_series-letting-go","cwp_profile-dave-harvey","cwp_profile-paul-gilbert","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304718\/love-has-teeth","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304718\/love-has-teeth","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XwJYlmVzm6\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-has-teeth\/\">Love Has Teeth<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/love-has-teeth\/embed\/#?secret=XwJYlmVzm6\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Love Has Teeth&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XwJYlmVzm6\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-10-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-10-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When someone you love turns away from you, how should you respond? Dave Harvey says you need to respond with rugged love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cRugged love is courageous enough to enforce consequences.\u201d So, the woman and the man\u2014they\u2019re sitting at the table and she\u2019s saying: \u201cWell, no. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m out of here\u201d\u2014but I have these expectations, you know, that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to share the bank account, and you\u2019re going to fund some of this,\u201d\u2014and that: \u201cI\u2019m going to maybe live here for a while.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of what love does is: \u201cLove recognizes that there can be a redemptive force in consequences.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can we practice rugged love with the wayward souls in our lives? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike you, Dennis, I\u2019ve had the opportunity to sit down with somebody who is headed in the wrong direction with their marriage. They are headed out rather than headed in. Instead of wanting to fix things and pursue oneness, they want to move away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I\u2019ve tried to do in those moments is just a little reality check and say: \u201cI want to take you out to five years from now. I\u2019d like to visit where the path you\u2019re going is likely to lead, based on where it\u2019s lead other people.\u201d And to say: \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2019s coming up for you: a wedding in the future, where your daughter doesn\u2019t want you to walk her down the aisle because of the hurt that occurred from this; or an event with the extended family \/ holiday events, where you\u2019re not invited; or where you get Christmas afternoon for a few hours rather than being with the grandkids,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just trying to paint a picture of the fact that the path you\u2019re on in the moment may feel like a path of happiness, but there\u2019s bitter fruit attached to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re talking about, Bob, is a prodigal. We typically think of prodigals being children who break out of the family unit and go sow wild seeds, but you\u2019re really talking about a larger group of people\u2014even within the Christian community\u2014that we all know, from time to time, who want to leave that which they\u2019re responsible for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We have a couple of pastors with us who have faced this situation, repeatedly. Together, they have more than 50 years of pastoring the flock of God. Paul Gilbert and Dave Harvey join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Thanks so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Letting Go<\/em>, which is <em>Rugged Love for Wayward Souls<\/em>. It\u2019s all about: \u201cHow do you deal with a prodigal?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you deal with someone who is headed off for what Bob described \u2018a rugged, rugged life\u2019?\u201d You guys say you\u2019ve got to meet a rugged life with a rugged love that has teeth. Explain what you mean by love with teeth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I think we first have to appreciate that there is a tension that somebody, who loves a wayward person, has to live in; and that is you have this person who wants to do the right thing\u2014wants to obey God, wants to apply the Scriptures, wants to love them\u2014and will do almost anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to see their loved one restored to a right place and in a position where they\u2019re moving in the right direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, on the other side, you have this wayward person\u2014who is content to do <em>nothing<\/em>, who has made <em>no<\/em> investment in the relationship, who has <em>no<\/em> incentive to move forward\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and not only that\u2014but the mindset that they\u2019re in \/ the wayward mindset doesn\u2019t respect the fear or the neediness that it perceives in the person who\u2019s loving them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, you have this set-up where most people, as they\u2019re trying to actually help a loved one, are perpetuating the problem because of\u2014they\u2019re leading, or living, or loving out of their fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and they get too soft with them. They actually\u2014instead of bringing a tough love \/ a love that has teeth\u2014instead, because they don\u2019t know what to say, they say nothing. Or they try to come alongside them and say, \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019ll just long-suffer with you,\u201d and say nothing about the wrong choices they\u2019re making.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think part of it is, as we\u2019re defining rugged love, that we\u2019re also defining what love isn\u2019t. Oftentimes, when parents or a spouse is moved\u2014to sort of rescue their wayward person from the consequences of their choices; or they\u2019re functioning in an over-responsible way; or they\u2019re appeasing; or they\u2019re entitling \/ all those things\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014can feel, in a moment, like its love. But it actually has the opposite effect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn helping people think through what it means to love, biblically\u2014to have as what Dave said: \u201clove with teeth\u201d\u2014a fully orbed love \/ a love that desires to see God\u2019s best happen for them\u2014I have to be honest\u2014sometimes, I may not want to confront a prodigal; because I fear losing the relationship; or I fear what will happen if they don\u2019t heed my counsel; or I don\u2019t like the way I <em>feel<\/em> when they become upset. It\u2019s really a self-protective measure. While it <em>feels<\/em> loving; in fact, it\u2019s empowering \/ it\u2019s enabling that wayward person toward a destructive pattern of choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s embracing a lie\u2014it\u2019s embracing the lie that says that: \u201cIf I cooperate \/ if I accommodate, that somehow that display of what I\u2019m calling love is going to help them and move them in a good direction.\u201d That\u2019s where, at the very bottom of this, we have to drive a stake that says that: \u201cLove\u201d\u2014in the biblical sense\u2014\u201cLove does not enable sinful behavior.\u201d Anytime that love begins to enable sinful behavior, we start moving a wayward person <em>away<\/em> from God and not toward God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s why a parent is set up to be an enabler with a child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because a child, as someone has said, is a parent\u2019s heart walking around outside their body. To hurt that child, hurts the parent. The parent thinks, by letting the child hit the wall and then picking them up \/ taking them out of a difficult situation and not confronting the behavior, full-on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they think, at that point, that\u2019s really love. When in essence, it may be that it\u2019s time to draw some boundaries \/ some really strict boundaries in how you\u2019re going to relate to one another, going forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so, let me give you a couple of scenarios. You tell me what the rugged love kind of response would be in these scenarios. A husband and wife are having dinner. He knows that their relationship has been strained \/ there\u2019s been a distance. It\u2019s been growing for a while. They\u2019re out for dinner\u2014she looks up at him and she says, \u201cI think it\u2019s time we talk about what\u2019s really going on.\u201d She says: \u201cI don\u2019t love you anymore. I\u2019ve felt this way for a long time. I don\u2019t want to be married to you anymore.\u201d He says, \u201cIs there somebody else?\u201d She doesn\u2019t want to admit it, but there <em>is<\/em> somebody else\u2014she says, \u201cWell, I have met someone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that moment, here\u2019s this guy, who would say: \u201cI\u2019ve let a lot slide in my marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe shouldn\u2019t have gotten to this point, but I want to respond rightly. I want to respond in a godly way to what my wife is saying to me in this moment. What I\u2019m feeling is: \u2018Well, just get out of here,\u2019\u2014or the hurt, the betrayal, or the anger\u2014or \u2018I\u2019ll do <em>anything<\/em> to save our marriage.\u2019\u201d Are either of those the right response?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Before we kind of dive into this, I think one thing we have to talk about is\u2014all these things are contextual. There are a lot of things that are variable that are at play: \u201cAre these professing Christians? Are they in a local body? Do they have Christian friends around them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And so I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no one-size-fits-all answer to that scenario. You\u2019ve got to know a whole lot more of the background to be able to answer it well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Right; but I do think there\u2019s probably certain things that are really important. As much as there\u2019s an immediate personal betrayal that\u2019s felt, I think that a singular goal, at that point, is to really begin asking questions: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you think God sees this? What do you believe God would have as the design and goal of our marriage? As you\u2019re making this decision, are you bringing God\u2019s Word to bear in this at all? Who have you talked to about this?\u201d Does this person know what a Christian is and, willingly, doesn\u2019t want to go there \/ doesn\u2019t want to submit their life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What we\u2019re really saying is that what is showing up as betrayal or waywardness is really a profound spiritual issue. The <em>bigger<\/em> issue has to do with this person\u2019s relationship with God than it does with how it\u2019s being felt in our circle; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And the reason we\u2019re calling it rugged love is not because it\u2019s going to feel good. In fact, there\u2019s a lot about how we\u2019re defining this that\u2019s totally counter intuitive, but because it\u2019s a way to apply Scripture in some of those very complicated situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, you know the definition we give the first one is that: \u201cRugged love is strong enough to face evil.\u201d So, there\u2019s a lot of guys, back to your illustration, that might sit across from a wife and just say: \u201cYou know, that\u2019s not important. What\u2019s important is that I love you. We don\u2019t even need to worry about that. I just want\u2026\u201d\u2014as if it didn\u2019t happen, as if we can live in denial, as if we can just ignore that and ignore some of the things she\u2019s saying. But a real biblical love \/ a love that is rugged is strong enough to face evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just give you a second one, because it will help to understand some of the applications. Another facet of this: \u201cRugged love is tenacious enough to do good,\u201d\u2014so, it brings <em>good<\/em> into play\u2014and the <em>tenacity<\/em> that is required for somebody, that\u2019s being continually sinned against, to say: \u201cI\u2019m going to demonstrate a love, that even though I know I\u2019m being sinned against, I\u2019m going to meet that with mercy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m going to meet that with goodness. I\u2019m going to meet that with some action of love.\u201d I think that, when they begin to take those steps, they\u2019re beginning to work with a more biblical \/ more rugged love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you talk about the tenacity to do good, you\u2019re talking about something more than \u201cI\u2019m going to send her flowers tomorrow and hopefully woo her back with that.\u201d You\u2019re talking about the kind of love that says: \u201cI\u2019m going to put your interest \/ your good ahead of my own. I\u2019m going to sacrifice so that, ultimately, you can be restored in your relationship with God and, hopefully, restored in your relationship with me. I\u2019ll sacrifice to make that happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Another way to think about this, in just pressing into this rugged love idea in the same illustration, is that: \u201cRugged love is courageous enough to enforce consequences.\u201d So, back to the woman and the man\u2014and they\u2019re sitting at the table and she\u2019s saying: \u201cWell, no. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m out of here,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I have these expectations that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to share the bank account, and you\u2019re going to fund some of this,\u201d and that: \u201cI\u2019m going to be able to maybe live here for a while, and you\u2019ll be able to kind of help me on my way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere may be good things to do to be a blessing to her; but part of what love does is: \u201cLove recognizes that there can be a redemptive force in consequences.\u201d When we read Scripture, God often uses consequences as a kind of tutorial. He\u2019ll let the people of Israel go down into Egypt \/ He\u2019ll let Babylon take them captive. He\u2019ll let Adam and Eve leave the garden and live east of Eden, because He\u2019s got a bigger plan. He knows that, even when the prodigal son leaves home with his inheritance, that there\u2019s something far out there, where the world can tutor them in a way that maybe the parent, or maybe the husband, just can\u2019t get to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It did take the prodigal eating corn cobs in the pig sty before he woke up and went: \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s an amazing descent for the prodigal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But the problem is\u2014as we talk about a marriage relationship, usually by the time the couple have arrived at this point, where the other person announces: \u201cI\u2019m out of here,\u201d\u2014at that point, that heart is so hardened and so unresponsive to truth that even the most difficult of consequences doesn\u2019t wake them up. What would you say to the spouse, who\u2019s trying to hang in there on behalf of the marriage, at that point?\u2014because they may be dealing with the person who has truly become a fool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; I had dinner with a friend, last night, whose wife left him some 20 years ago. You can imagine the father, in the prodigal son parable, standing on the road, even as he\u2019s released his son to go to the distant country\u2014there\u2019s a sense that you get that\u2014there\u2019s an expectancy; there\u2019s prayerfulness; there\u2019s a hopefulness, trusting God, straining to the horizon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2014you know, my friend talked about, for 15 years, he was out there, on the road, looking \/ making a path available back towards the marriage, where his ex-wife now could repent. The reality is\u2014it never happened \/ he had to move on with his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we don\u2019t want to do is to say: \u201cHey this is a formula. If you just follow this formula, your prodigal is going to come running back down the road.\u201d How long did the father have to stand on the road?\u2014I mean, a distant country?\u2014we\u2019re talking months \/ we\u2019re talking <em>years<\/em>. I think that\u2019s important; because we can become disillusioned if we put this into an Americanized-time schedule: \u201cIf I do this, this is going to happen by such and such time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dave, there is a reason you titled the book <em>Letting Go<\/em>. Talk about what it is that we need to let go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, the letting go concept recognizes that there needs to be a rugged love and there needs to be a rugged love that includes praying boldly. There needs to be a rugged love that includes being resilient enough to forgive and to be sturdy enough to be patient. There are all these kind of aggressively-loving things where we\u2019re doing, so that we\u2019re not just cutting them off. The guy, who\u2019s sitting at the table, is not just saying, \u201cWell, I\u2019m divorcing you then.\u201d There\u2019s a patience; there\u2019s a love; there\u2019s a prayerfulness\u2014there\u2019s a process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But<\/em> over time, one begins to realize that there is an entrenched selfishness that has taken hold of this person and that all of the process\u2014all of the praying, the community, the pastors, the different things that have been done in order to serve them\u2014does not appear to be moving them forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSimply remaining in the same place is not bearing any fruit. So, we introduce the idea of: \u201cSometimes, God lets us go\u201d; in other words: \u201cSometimes, God <em>releases<\/em> us to go ahead and move forward, and to experience the life that we\u2019re <em>clawing<\/em> after, that we might be able to experience the fruit of the choices \/ the consequences of the decisions; because God is <em>big enough<\/em> to be in them and to use them to turn us around.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> One of the stories that we talk about in the book that is real\u2014and I can share it openly, because this couple has given us permission; and they have testified, publicly, about this\u2014but a young couple had a young child, and the husband had an addiction to alcohol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey had dealt with this issue over a number of years. They had reached a point where the wife felt like he was clean and he was living a transparent life, only to discover that, in fact, he had had a secret bank account \/ a secret credit card\u2014had just really been living a secret life related to substance abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe came to a point of realizing simply restarting this cycle over again\u2014and with apologies and \u201cI\u2019ll never do it again,\u201d\u2014that wasn\u2019t going to take them where they needed to be. So, she had to make a very, very, difficult decision that she was going to move back in with her parents, with this child, while her husband, under care from the church, demonstrated that he was able to keep and hold a job \/ he was able to go through counseling and rehabilitation. Then, at the same time, keeping the door open that God could change his heart; and if God did, she would be willing to receive him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy God\u2019s grace, that happened; but it did not happen quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt happened over a course of weeks and months. It was agonizing; but at the same time, she realized, \u201cIf I don\u2019t release him now, we may never have an open, honest, transparent, loving relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Because part of that story was that they had gone through several occasions, prior, where something was uncovered; but she forgave \/ she just moved on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They thought, \u201cOkay; this time it\u2019s going to be different.\u201d Of course, he was apologetic. She eventually realized: \u201cYou know what? This arrangement is not only unhelpful, but it\u2019s anchoring \/ it\u2019s entrenching him into these patterns. So, we have to have a hard reset. I have to let him go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They were putting Band-Aids<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> over wounds that needed to be cauterized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and it wasn\u2019t until she said, \u201cCauterization is hard and painful, but it\u2019s the only way for this wound to be fully healed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A key phrase you used, as you described that story, was that the church engaged with her and gave her\u2014I think, what I heard you saying\u2014the courage to establish the boundaries; then, the protection to protect her as she waited on her husband to see if he would make good on his promises; and then, be a part of the restoration if and when he was wanting to come back\u2014but not make it too easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> The wife, in this case, was willing to do that; but it was scary because she was going to have to relinquish the control she had attempted to maintain. It was the husband who did not want to do this, as you can imagine\u2014did not want to live under that sort of accountable system\u2014but there was a person in the church \/ a family that took him in. He was able to stay with them during this season\u2014was able to not be his parents but to really walk alongside of him in that process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, one of the things you mentioned before\u2014oftentimes, when the wayward person announces their intentions or things come to light, things are so far down the road. Whether you\u2019re in a prodigal situation or not\u2014being a part of the family of God \/ having a community of people around you\u2014it\u2019s not the only purpose, but a chief purpose is to walk with people through these sort of seasons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what a person in that situation needs\u2014I\u2019m speaking of the one who is married to the prodigal or the parents who have the prodigal child\u2014<em>they<\/em> need a few couples \/ a few friends\u2014comrades with them\u2014in this battle to remind them of the truth, to encourage them to not grow weary, to do good when they are supposed to do good, but to hold to the boundary when they need to enforce the boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, if the person does repent and does want to come back, they\u2019ve got the church there. Again\u2014I want to say this again: \u201cThe church is there. A few friends can protect that parent \/ that spouse from being taken advantage of one more time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThis thing continues on and on and on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think one other thing people might need is a highlighter and a copy of the book, <em>Letting Go: Rugged Love for Wayward Souls<\/em>, because what you men have done in your book is given us biblical input to help navigate these difficult situations. In fact, on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got a link to a 15-day Bible study that has been created to help you if you\u2019re in the middle of something with a wayward son or daughter, or spouse, or family member. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find the link for the 15-day Bible study that includes a discussion guide. There is a video resource available as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also order the book, <em>Letting Go<\/em>, when you visit our website. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you\u2019d like to get a copy of the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what we\u2019ve been talking about today is probably one of the most difficult challenges that any family faces. In all the things you go through, as a family, when someone wanders away from God and from you\u2014and isolation sets in\u2014that can be one of the most difficult seasons in any marriage or family. Our goal, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is to provide the kind of biblical coaching \/ the kind of pastoral care that people need when they go through seasons like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me be quick to say: \u201cWe believe the first place you should turn\u2014we were just talking about this\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u2014is your local church. You need to be an active part of a local church, where you are surrounded by people, who can come alongside you, and support you, and speak truth to you in the middle of a challenging situation like this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we want to be a resource as well\u2014we have articles; we have books available; we have the Bible study I just talked about. All of these things are available, because we have listeners who have made these resources possible for us to pass along to others. In fact, every time someone donates to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, they\u2019re helping us reach out to more people with help and hope in the middle of challenging life situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, can we encourage you to join the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> team and help us reach more people with this ministry? Let me be quick to say: \u201cWe don\u2019t want to do anything that would take away from your giving to your local church. We believe that needs to be your first priority when it comes to making donations.\u201d But as you\u2019re able to help this ministry beyond what you\u2019re doing at your local church, we\u2019re grateful for your support. It\u2019s easy to donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to look at things to do and things not to do when a loved one is wayward. Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert will be back with us tomorrow. Hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with help from Justin Adams today. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:19"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.93M"],"filesize_raw":["27192580"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304718.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304718.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you love someone who continually makes wrong choices, what should you do? Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert say, the offended must exhibit a rugged love that draws boundaries, and doesn't\u00a0enable sinful behavior.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-10-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When someone you love turns away from you, how should you respond? Dave Harvey says you need to respond with rugged love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u201cRugged love is courageous enough to enforce consequences.\u201d So, the woman and the man\u2014they\u2019re sitting at the table and she\u2019s saying: \u201cWell, no. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m out of here\u201d\u2014but I have these expectations, you know, that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to share the bank account, and you\u2019re going to fund some of this,\u201d\u2014and that: \u201cI\u2019m going to maybe live here for a while.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of what love does is: \u201cLove recognizes that there can be a redemptive force in consequences.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. How can we practice rugged love with the wayward souls in our lives? We\u2019ll explore that today. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike you, Dennis, I\u2019ve had the opportunity to sit down with somebody who is headed in the wrong direction with their marriage. They are headed out rather than headed in. Instead of wanting to fix things and pursue oneness, they want to move away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things I\u2019ve tried to do in those moments is just a little reality check and say: \u201cI want to take you out to five years from now. I\u2019d like to visit where the path you\u2019re going is likely to lead, based on where it\u2019s lead other people.\u201d And to say: \u201cHere\u2019s what\u2019s coming up for you: a wedding in the future, where your daughter doesn\u2019t want you to walk her down the aisle because of the hurt that occurred from this; or an event with the extended family \/ holiday events, where you\u2019re not invited; or where you get Christmas afternoon for a few hours rather than being with the grandkids,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014just trying to paint a picture of the fact that the path you\u2019re on in the moment may feel like a path of happiness, but there\u2019s bitter fruit attached to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re talking about, Bob, is a prodigal. We typically think of prodigals being children who break out of the family unit and go sow wild seeds, but you\u2019re really talking about a larger group of people\u2014even within the Christian community\u2014that we all know, from time to time, who want to leave that which they\u2019re responsible for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We have a couple of pastors with us who have faced this situation, repeatedly. Together, they have more than 50 years of pastoring the flock of God. Paul Gilbert and Dave Harvey join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> It\u2019s great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Thanks so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> They\u2019ve written a book called <em>Letting Go<\/em>, which is <em>Rugged Love for Wayward Souls<\/em>. It\u2019s all about: \u201cHow do you deal with a prodigal?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you deal with someone who is headed off for what Bob described \u2018a rugged, rugged life\u2019?\u201d You guys say you\u2019ve got to meet a rugged life with a rugged love that has teeth. Explain what you mean by love with teeth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Yes; I think we first have to appreciate that there is a tension that somebody, who loves a wayward person, has to live in; and that is you have this person who wants to do the right thing\u2014wants to obey God, wants to apply the Scriptures, wants to love them\u2014and will do almost anything\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> \u2014to see their loved one restored to a right place and in a position where they\u2019re moving in the right direction. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, on the other side, you have this wayward person\u2014who is content to do <em>nothing<\/em>, who has made <em>no<\/em> investment in the relationship, who has <em>no<\/em> incentive to move forward\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and not only that\u2014but the mindset that they\u2019re in \/ the wayward mindset doesn\u2019t respect the fear or the neediness that it perceives in the person who\u2019s loving them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> So, you have this set-up where most people, as they\u2019re trying to actually help a loved one, are perpetuating the problem because of\u2014they\u2019re leading, or living, or loving out of their fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and they get too soft with them. They actually\u2014instead of bringing a tough love \/ a love that has teeth\u2014instead, because they don\u2019t know what to say, they say nothing. Or they try to come alongside them and say, \u201cWell, you know, I\u2019ll just long-suffer with you,\u201d and say nothing about the wrong choices they\u2019re making.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> I think part of it is, as we\u2019re defining rugged love, that we\u2019re also defining what love isn\u2019t. Oftentimes, when parents or a spouse is moved\u2014to sort of rescue their wayward person from the consequences of their choices; or they\u2019re functioning in an over-responsible way; or they\u2019re appeasing; or they\u2019re entitling \/ all those things\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014can feel, in a moment, like its love. But it actually has the opposite effect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn helping people think through what it means to love, biblically\u2014to have as what Dave said: \u201clove with teeth\u201d\u2014a fully orbed love \/ a love that desires to see God\u2019s best happen for them\u2014I have to be honest\u2014sometimes, I may not want to confront a prodigal; because I fear losing the relationship; or I fear what will happen if they don\u2019t heed my counsel; or I don\u2019t like the way I <em>feel<\/em> when they become upset. It\u2019s really a self-protective measure. While it <em>feels<\/em> loving; in fact, it\u2019s empowering \/ it\u2019s enabling that wayward person toward a destructive pattern of choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And it\u2019s embracing a lie\u2014it\u2019s embracing the lie that says that: \u201cIf I cooperate \/ if I accommodate, that somehow that display of what I\u2019m calling love is going to help them and move them in a good direction.\u201d That\u2019s where, at the very bottom of this, we have to drive a stake that says that: \u201cLove\u201d\u2014in the biblical sense\u2014\u201cLove does not enable sinful behavior.\u201d Anytime that love begins to enable sinful behavior, we start moving a wayward person <em>away<\/em> from God and not toward God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s why a parent is set up to be an enabler with a child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014because a child, as someone has said, is a parent\u2019s heart walking around outside their body. To hurt that child, hurts the parent. The parent thinks, by letting the child hit the wall and then picking them up \/ taking them out of a difficult situation and not confronting the behavior, full-on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014they think, at that point, that\u2019s really love. When in essence, it may be that it\u2019s time to draw some boundaries \/ some really strict boundaries in how you\u2019re going to relate to one another, going forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay; so, let me give you a couple of scenarios. You tell me what the rugged love kind of response would be in these scenarios. A husband and wife are having dinner. He knows that their relationship has been strained \/ there\u2019s been a distance. It\u2019s been growing for a while. They\u2019re out for dinner\u2014she looks up at him and she says, \u201cI think it\u2019s time we talk about what\u2019s really going on.\u201d She says: \u201cI don\u2019t love you anymore. I\u2019ve felt this way for a long time. I don\u2019t want to be married to you anymore.\u201d He says, \u201cIs there somebody else?\u201d She doesn\u2019t want to admit it, but there <em>is<\/em> somebody else\u2014she says, \u201cWell, I have met someone.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn that moment, here\u2019s this guy, who would say: \u201cI\u2019ve let a lot slide in my marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe shouldn\u2019t have gotten to this point, but I want to respond rightly. I want to respond in a godly way to what my wife is saying to me in this moment. What I\u2019m feeling is: \u2018Well, just get out of here,\u2019\u2014or the hurt, the betrayal, or the anger\u2014or \u2018I\u2019ll do <em>anything<\/em> to save our marriage.\u2019\u201d Are either of those the right response?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Before we kind of dive into this, I think one thing we have to talk about is\u2014all these things are contextual. There are a lot of things that are variable that are at play: \u201cAre these professing Christians? Are they in a local body? Do they have Christian friends around them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> And so I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There\u2019s no one-size-fits-all answer to that scenario. You\u2019ve got to know a whole lot more of the background to be able to answer it well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Right; but I do think there\u2019s probably certain things that are really important. As much as there\u2019s an immediate personal betrayal that\u2019s felt, I think that a singular goal, at that point, is to really begin asking questions: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you think God sees this? What do you believe God would have as the design and goal of our marriage? As you\u2019re making this decision, are you bringing God\u2019s Word to bear in this at all? Who have you talked to about this?\u201d Does this person know what a Christian is and, willingly, doesn\u2019t want to go there \/ doesn\u2019t want to submit their life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What we\u2019re really saying is that what is showing up as betrayal or waywardness is really a profound spiritual issue. The <em>bigger<\/em> issue has to do with this person\u2019s relationship with God than it does with how it\u2019s being felt in our circle; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> And the reason we\u2019re calling it rugged love is not because it\u2019s going to feel good. In fact, there\u2019s a lot about how we\u2019re defining this that\u2019s totally counter intuitive, but because it\u2019s a way to apply Scripture in some of those very complicated situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, you know the definition we give the first one is that: \u201cRugged love is strong enough to face evil.\u201d So, there\u2019s a lot of guys, back to your illustration, that might sit across from a wife and just say: \u201cYou know, that\u2019s not important. What\u2019s important is that I love you. We don\u2019t even need to worry about that. I just want\u2026\u201d\u2014as if it didn\u2019t happen, as if we can live in denial, as if we can just ignore that and ignore some of the things she\u2019s saying. But a real biblical love \/ a love that is rugged is strong enough to face evil. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just give you a second one, because it will help to understand some of the applications. Another facet of this: \u201cRugged love is tenacious enough to do good,\u201d\u2014so, it brings <em>good<\/em> into play\u2014and the <em>tenacity<\/em> that is required for somebody, that\u2019s being continually sinned against, to say: \u201cI\u2019m going to demonstrate a love, that even though I know I\u2019m being sinned against, I\u2019m going to meet that with mercy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m going to meet that with goodness. I\u2019m going to meet that with some action of love.\u201d I think that, when they begin to take those steps, they\u2019re beginning to work with a more biblical \/ more rugged love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When you talk about the tenacity to do good, you\u2019re talking about something more than \u201cI\u2019m going to send her flowers tomorrow and hopefully woo her back with that.\u201d You\u2019re talking about the kind of love that says: \u201cI\u2019m going to put your interest \/ your good ahead of my own. I\u2019m going to sacrifice so that, ultimately, you can be restored in your relationship with God and, hopefully, restored in your relationship with me. I\u2019ll sacrifice to make that happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul: <\/strong>Another way to think about this, in just pressing into this rugged love idea in the same illustration, is that: \u201cRugged love is courageous enough to enforce consequences.\u201d So, back to the woman and the man\u2014and they\u2019re sitting at the table and she\u2019s saying: \u201cWell, no. I\u2019m done. I\u2019m out of here,\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014but I have these expectations that: \u201cWe\u2019re going to share the bank account, and you\u2019re going to fund some of this,\u201d and that: \u201cI\u2019m going to be able to maybe live here for a while, and you\u2019ll be able to kind of help me on my way.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere may be good things to do to be a blessing to her; but part of what love does is: \u201cLove recognizes that there can be a redemptive force in consequences.\u201d When we read Scripture, God often uses consequences as a kind of tutorial. He\u2019ll let the people of Israel go down into Egypt \/ He\u2019ll let Babylon take them captive. He\u2019ll let Adam and Eve leave the garden and live east of Eden, because He\u2019s got a bigger plan. He knows that, even when the prodigal son leaves home with his inheritance, that there\u2019s something far out there, where the world can tutor them in a way that maybe the parent, or maybe the husband, just can\u2019t get to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It did take the prodigal eating corn cobs in the pig sty before he woke up and went: \u201cWhat am I doing?\u201d\u2014right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; it\u2019s an amazing descent for the prodigal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> But the problem is\u2014as we talk about a marriage relationship, usually by the time the couple have arrived at this point, where the other person announces: \u201cI\u2019m out of here,\u201d\u2014at that point, that heart is so hardened and so unresponsive to truth that even the most difficult of consequences doesn\u2019t wake them up. What would you say to the spouse, who\u2019s trying to hang in there on behalf of the marriage, at that point?\u2014because they may be dealing with the person who has truly become a fool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Yes; I had dinner with a friend, last night, whose wife left him some 20 years ago. You can imagine the father, in the prodigal son parable, standing on the road, even as he\u2019s released his son to go to the distant country\u2014there\u2019s a sense that you get that\u2014there\u2019s an expectancy; there\u2019s prayerfulness; there\u2019s a hopefulness, trusting God, straining to the horizon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2014you know, my friend talked about, for 15 years, he was out there, on the road, looking \/ making a path available back towards the marriage, where his ex-wife now could repent. The reality is\u2014it never happened \/ he had to move on with his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we don\u2019t want to do is to say: \u201cHey this is a formula. If you just follow this formula, your prodigal is going to come running back down the road.\u201d How long did the father have to stand on the road?\u2014I mean, a distant country?\u2014we\u2019re talking months \/ we\u2019re talking <em>years<\/em>. I think that\u2019s important; because we can become disillusioned if we put this into an Americanized-time schedule: \u201cIf I do this, this is going to happen by such and such time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Dave, there is a reason you titled the book <em>Letting Go<\/em>. Talk about what it is that we need to let go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Well, the letting go concept recognizes that there needs to be a rugged love and there needs to be a rugged love that includes praying boldly. There needs to be a rugged love that includes being resilient enough to forgive and to be sturdy enough to be patient. There are all these kind of aggressively-loving things where we\u2019re doing, so that we\u2019re not just cutting them off. The guy, who\u2019s sitting at the table, is not just saying, \u201cWell, I\u2019m divorcing you then.\u201d There\u2019s a patience; there\u2019s a love; there\u2019s a prayerfulness\u2014there\u2019s a process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But<\/em> over time, one begins to realize that there is an entrenched selfishness that has taken hold of this person and that all of the process\u2014all of the praying, the community, the pastors, the different things that have been done in order to serve them\u2014does not appear to be moving them forward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSimply remaining in the same place is not bearing any fruit. So, we introduce the idea of: \u201cSometimes, God lets us go\u201d; in other words: \u201cSometimes, God <em>releases<\/em> us to go ahead and move forward, and to experience the life that we\u2019re <em>clawing<\/em> after, that we might be able to experience the fruit of the choices \/ the consequences of the decisions; because God is <em>big enough<\/em> to be in them and to use them to turn us around.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> One of the stories that we talk about in the book that is real\u2014and I can share it openly, because this couple has given us permission; and they have testified, publicly, about this\u2014but a young couple had a young child, and the husband had an addiction to alcohol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey had dealt with this issue over a number of years. They had reached a point where the wife felt like he was clean and he was living a transparent life, only to discover that, in fact, he had had a secret bank account \/ a secret credit card\u2014had just really been living a secret life related to substance abuse. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe came to a point of realizing simply restarting this cycle over again\u2014and with apologies and \u201cI\u2019ll never do it again,\u201d\u2014that wasn\u2019t going to take them where they needed to be. So, she had to make a very, very, difficult decision that she was going to move back in with her parents, with this child, while her husband, under care from the church, demonstrated that he was able to keep and hold a job \/ he was able to go through counseling and rehabilitation. Then, at the same time, keeping the door open that God could change his heart; and if God did, she would be willing to receive him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy God\u2019s grace, that happened; but it did not happen quickly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt happened over a course of weeks and months. It was agonizing; but at the same time, she realized, \u201cIf I don\u2019t release him now, we may never have an open, honest, transparent, loving relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> Because part of that story was that they had gone through several occasions, prior, where something was uncovered; but she forgave \/ she just moved on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong> They thought, \u201cOkay; this time it\u2019s going to be different.\u201d Of course, he was apologetic. She eventually realized: \u201cYou know what? This arrangement is not only unhelpful, but it\u2019s anchoring \/ it\u2019s entrenching him into these patterns. So, we have to have a hard reset. I have to let him go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They were putting Band-Aids<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> over wounds that needed to be cauterized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014and it wasn\u2019t until she said, \u201cCauterization is hard and painful, but it\u2019s the only way for this wound to be fully healed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> A key phrase you used, as you described that story, was that the church engaged with her and gave her\u2014I think, what I heard you saying\u2014the courage to establish the boundaries; then, the protection to protect her as she waited on her husband to see if he would make good on his promises; and then, be a part of the restoration if and when he was wanting to come back\u2014but not make it too easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> The wife, in this case, was willing to do that; but it was scary because she was going to have to relinquish the control she had attempted to maintain. It was the husband who did not want to do this, as you can imagine\u2014did not want to live under that sort of accountable system\u2014but there was a person in the church \/ a family that took him in. He was able to stay with them during this season\u2014was able to not be his parents but to really walk alongside of him in that process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, one of the things you mentioned before\u2014oftentimes, when the wayward person announces their intentions or things come to light, things are so far down the road. Whether you\u2019re in a prodigal situation or not\u2014being a part of the family of God \/ having a community of people around you\u2014it\u2019s not the only purpose, but a chief purpose is to walk with people through these sort of seasons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And what a person in that situation needs\u2014I\u2019m speaking of the one who is married to the prodigal or the parents who have the prodigal child\u2014<em>they<\/em> need a few couples \/ a few friends\u2014comrades with them\u2014in this battle to remind them of the truth, to encourage them to not grow weary, to do good when they are supposed to do good, but to hold to the boundary when they need to enforce the boundaries. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, if the person does repent and does want to come back, they\u2019ve got the church there. Again\u2014I want to say this again: \u201cThe church is there. A few friends can protect that parent \/ that spouse from being taken advantage of one more time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u201cThis thing continues on and on and on.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I think one other thing people might need is a highlighter and a copy of the book, <em>Letting Go: Rugged Love for Wayward Souls<\/em>, because what you men have done in your book is given us biblical input to help navigate these difficult situations. In fact, on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got a link to a 15-day Bible study that has been created to help you if you\u2019re in the middle of something with a wayward son or daughter, or spouse, or family member. You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find the link for the 15-day Bible study that includes a discussion guide. There is a video resource available as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also order the book, <em>Letting Go<\/em>, when you visit our website. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call if you\u2019d like to get a copy of the book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe number is 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what we\u2019ve been talking about today is probably one of the most difficult challenges that any family faces. In all the things you go through, as a family, when someone wanders away from God and from you\u2014and isolation sets in\u2014that can be one of the most difficult seasons in any marriage or family. Our goal, here, at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is to provide the kind of biblical coaching \/ the kind of pastoral care that people need when they go through seasons like this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me be quick to say: \u201cWe believe the first place you should turn\u2014we were just talking about this\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u2014is your local church. You need to be an active part of a local church, where you are surrounded by people, who can come alongside you, and support you, and speak truth to you in the middle of a challenging situation like this.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we want to be a resource as well\u2014we have articles; we have books available; we have the Bible study I just talked about. All of these things are available, because we have listeners who have made these resources possible for us to pass along to others. In fact, every time someone donates to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, they\u2019re helping us reach out to more people with help and hope in the middle of challenging life situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, can we encourage you to join the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> team and help us reach more people with this ministry? Let me be quick to say: \u201cWe don\u2019t want to do anything that would take away from your giving to your local church. We believe that needs to be your first priority when it comes to making donations.\u201d But as you\u2019re able to help this ministry beyond what you\u2019re doing at your local church, we\u2019re grateful for your support. It\u2019s easy to donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also donate by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue to look at things to do and things not to do when a loved one is wayward. Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert will be back with us tomorrow. Hope you can join us as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with help from Justin Adams today. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; a Cru<sup>\u00ae <\/sup>Ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304718"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304718"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304718"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304718"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}