{"id":304642,"date":"2017-08-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-08-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/growing-spiritually\/"},"modified":"2017-08-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-08-17T15:00:00","slug":"growing-spiritually","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-spiritually\/","title":{"rendered":"Growing Spiritually"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dan Dumas talks about the adoption process he and his wife walked through with their two sons. Dumas shares his burden to see kids head in the right direction and find their purpose.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-08-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:11","filesize":"24.89M","filesize_raw":"26095739","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2806],"tags":[2712,5136,4475],"podcast_series":[8227],"cwp_profile":[3333],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304642","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-spiritual-development","tag-adoption","tag-foster-care","tag-orphans","podcast_series-live-smart","cwp_profile-dan-dumas","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304642\/growing-spiritually","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304642\/growing-spiritually","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2jjlKdIXRg\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-spiritually\/\">Growing Spiritually<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/growing-spiritually\/embed\/#?secret=2jjlKdIXRg\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Growing Spiritually&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2jjlKdIXRg\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-08-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-08-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you thought through, as a parent, the important lessons you want to be intentionally teaching your children as you raise them?\u00a0 Dan Dumas has; and one of the lessons he wants to make sure he teaches his kids is: \u201cDon\u2019t be a quitter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Whatever we start, we finish\u2014because, I mean, that\u2019s all of life; right?\u00a0 It\u2019s not how you start; it\u2019s how you finish\u2014it\u2019s the end. So, I want them to learn that they can\u2019t quit; and to quit is not healthy and not good. They need to be resolved, and they need to be intense\u2014they need to do that. Whatever they start, they finish. Whether it\u2019s a small project\u2014putting together a kit of some sort or whatever it is\u2014they start, and they finish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey; and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There are lots of big ideas \/ big lessons that we need to be teaching our children as we raise them, and we need to be purposeful about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There\u2019s this word that has been kind of emerging as we\u2019ve been talking this week. It\u2019s the word that is used to define you by your children\u2014when I talk with your children about the one word that would sum you up, the word, \u201cintentional,\u201d shows up quite often. That\u2019s the descriptor they have of you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I didn\u2019t like it, at first, when they described me that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why not?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cCan\u2019t you get a better word?!\u201d\u00a0 Intentional doesn\u2019t have any\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Strong word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it is a strong word; but I was thinking something nobler. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It\u2019s a little sterile. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s a little\u2014that\u2019s okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDan Dumas is our guest today, and he is an intentional guy and has written a <em>great<\/em> book called <em>Live Smart: Preparing for the Future God Wants for You<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome back to the broadcast, Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Would your kids describe you as intentional?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I hope so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got two kids \/ been married 25 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; but they don\u2019t describe a whole lot at eight years old. They just kind of\u2014they\u2019re just living life. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you are thinking, intentionally, about them\u2014more intentionally than your parents were thinking about you when they were raising you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, a multiple of intentionality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Because you see life differently than you saw when you were growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; and partly, could be a little bit of a generational thing. I mean, I think that because of influences, like FamilyLife\u2014I just think a lot of dads are a little\u2014it\u2019s on the radar to be intentional. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if my father would have ever heard that, or listened to something, or been challenged or called out if he wasn\u2019t intentional; where if you are sitting under your local church and your pastor is teaching, then, it\u2019s going to come up; you know?\u00a0 In the course of good, faithful exposition, they\u2019re going to bring this stuff up, and call you up, and call you out\u2014kind of thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have recently been appointed by the governor of Kentucky to head up a new office for the state of Kentucky\u2014the office of being the czar of adoption and foster care. You and your wife Jane have two children that you\u2019ve adopted. You mind telling us a little bit of that story, and how you ended up being the parents of two?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Sure. We couldn\u2019t have children\u2014we tried for 12 years. I came home from a ministry trip, and my wife met me in the driveway. Through the course of a friend\u2014they said there was a boy going to be born in about two months, and they called us to see if we\u2019d consider adopting him. He was in Kansas City. Of course, we jumped in the middle of that. You know, you had to expedite everything\u2014home-study \/ the whole package. It\u2019s a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had you talked about it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Not in depth. It was kind of like I got T-boned. It was just reflexive to kind of: \u201cAlright; let\u2019s do it!\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, 12 years of marriage \/ 12 years of infertility\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019d obviously gone through the heartache of that, and that\u2019s a long season of heartache. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right; and I think we were just hopeful that something was going to work. I\u2019d had a few surgeries. We\u2019d tried everything known to medicine to kind of fix the problem, but it didn\u2019t seem to work. So, we were kind of at the end of that line; but we were content: \u201cMaybe, God doesn\u2019t want us to have biological children.\u201d\u00a0 So, we were moving down that path. We are gospel people\u2014so, it\u2019s certainly in the text of Scripture. We\u2014orphans are there \/ everywhere. We were starting to see it, because we were thinking it together and talking about it collectively. I just wouldn\u2019t say it would be the normal course of conversation over every meal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t that intense, because we were still kind of wrestling with the infertility piece; but then, someone called, and we jumped in, both feet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; Bob and I have been in radio for more than 25 years. We\u2019ve talked about adoption, orphan care, [and] foster care numerous times. I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve spent a lot of time talking about infertility and its impact on a couple in their marriage. Any advice you would give a couple who are struggling with this right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I think what happens is, as you grow up\u2014especially for my wife\u2014you kind of have a picture of what your family is going to look like. It could be a little, quaint house with a white picket fence and 2.5 children\u2014or whatever. You know, you\u2019ve kind of got this in your mind\u2014an image. So, it is image-shattering, in that sense\u2014that\u2019s the hard part of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you kind of work through a process of emotions \/ then, you check yourself and make sure it doesn\u2019t become idolatry or something that\u2019s entitlement; because, certainly\u2014it wasn\u2019t the case for us\u2014so just working through the emotions of that. But kind of your view of God\u2014God\u2019s sovereign. You pillow your head \/ in adversity, you pillow your head on the sovereignty of God every single night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you adopted the first little guy at birth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; in the room. I stayed out, and they called me in. Yes; we got to experience the whole piece\u2014had him from\u2014brought him home two days later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did the second child come to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Through friends in a local church down in lower Alabama. They called\u2014there was a grandmother in their church whose granddaughter\u2014I believe it was; yes\u2014had gotten pregnant and was considering giving up the child for adoption. They said, \u201cWould you like to be considered for that?\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cAbsolutely!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the themes of your book is surrender. Was it surrender to God to do the adoption \/ go the adoption route?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, you just wonder, like, \u201cWill we love them like we\u2019d love our own biological?\u201d\u00a0 You just have wonder there, and you\u2019re not\u2014you\u2019re getting a different DNA set. There\u2019s a surrendering to that; but then, you live out the gospel every day. It kind of just shatters all that\u2014you say: \u201cYou know?\u00a0 God is in <em>total<\/em> control, and I have every reason to surrender. He\u2019s always provided for us. There\u2019s <em>no reason<\/em> to doubt Him now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the people with whom you have worked closely is Dr. Russell Moore, and he\u2019s an adoption advocate. I remember him talking about his own adoption and about people talking about background, and heritage, and history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe made the statement\u2014he said, \u201cGod knew that our kids would be Moores from the point of concept\u2014from before the point of conception.\u201d\u00a0 So, we\u2019re looking at how it unfolds in our lives; but this is not something that God came up with a Plan \u201cB\u201d for your kids to be your kids; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>No; absolutely. It\u2019s an adventure. I mean, the whole Christian life is an adventure; right?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s really a joy-filled, at times tearful, adventure. You\u2019ve just kind of got to bounce, and pivot, and change. You\u2019ve got to be careful not to let ideals become idolatry. So, you counteract that with, all the time\u2014preaching the gospel to yourself. We\u2019re always getting up in the morning: \u201cI\u2019m the worst sinner in the room \/ I\u2019m the worst sinner I know. I\u2019ve got to put on faith \/ put on the armor of God. It\u2019s a spiritual battle, and I\u2019m here for a reason. We\u2019re a people of destiny\u2014Psalm 139\u201d; and that\u2019s how we approached it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have a burden\u2014in fact, I think it\u2019s a burden that helped lead to your writing the book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>. You want to see young people, at an early age, get pointed in the right direction and to start living life with wisdom\u2014not wait until you\u2019re 25 and then say, \u201cOkay; now, I\u2019m going to live like a smart person,\u201d but to start living smart from the time they are 12 and 13; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think procrastination plagues young people. They just don\u2019t think about all the consequences of their decisions as they\u2019re young. So, procrastination, I think, is a big problem for all categories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re not just saying procrastination, as in: \u201cI\u2019ll do my homework tomorrow\u201d; but you\u2019re talking about putting off adulthood until you\u2019re at a certain age. I read an article recently in <em>The Wall Street Journal<\/em> that talked about \u201cadulting\u201d being a verb now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When a young person does something responsible, it is #adulting: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSee, I didn\u2019t binge-watch Netflix; but instead, I cleaned my apartment #adulting.\u201d\u00a0 The author\u2014the guy who wrote the article was saying, \u201cThis is a generation that has delayed the whole idea of embracing responsibility and embracing what it means to be a grown-up.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s part of what you\u2019re trying to address in the book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely; I mean I\u2014when\u2014I\u2019m a lover of Proverbs; right?\u00a0 So, Proverbs\u2014it\u2019s probably the [densest] parenting section of all the Bible. Proverbs 1:1-9:18 is, really, a father sitting down with his son and sharing 15 different discourses of things that they need to think through and have in order. Well, the first is: \u201cFear God\u201d; right?\u2014Chapter 1. Then, it says, \u201cHonor your parents.\u201d\u00a0 Then, it says: \u201cChoose your friends wisely. Don\u2019t let sinners entice you.\u201d\u00a0 Fourth is: \u201cObey God, immediately.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you remember\u2014Solomon characterizes wisdom as a lady \/ a striking woman on the corner\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she\u2019s calling out. Well, I think that\u2019s the spiritual procrastination \/ they don\u2019t have an urgency. There is an assumption that: \u201cEverything, at 25 or 35, will be okay; even though I sow my spiritual oats or don\u2019t,\u201d\u2014and you\u2019re going to be all right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just say, \u201cNo.\u201d The counter to the spiritual procrastination is this high intentionality, and to <em>not<\/em> play it safe, and kind of take the necessary risk and grow\u2014and start at a young age\u2014start forming these habits. In particular, I\u2019m concerned about their spiritual disciplines. That\u2019s why\u2014kind of making sure they\u2019re reading their Bible, they\u2019re praying, and going to church and loving the church\u2014not just going to church\u2014but actually loving\/engaging the church\u2014serving in the church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, starting to\u2014if you want to be a great man, you\u2019ve got to be a great boy. You\u2019re not just going to wake up today\u2014the light\u2019s going to come on; and you\u2019re going to be at full-scale, progressive, growing, [and] mature in faith kind of Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how do parents\u2014how do we get our kids to want to be purposeful when they\u2019re 13, because most of the kids don\u2019t want to. We can put together a checklist of: \u201cWell, you\u2019ve got to do this discipline, and this discipline, and this\u2026\u201d but we\u2019re just manufacturing a burden for them, not something that they\u2019re doing as a delight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. I think a lot of it is a modeling\u2014example. I mean, I think the truth is\u2014a lot of people come home, and they\u2019re faith is on Sundays. On Monday, something happens, you know\u2014or doesn\u2019t happen, maybe\u2014I think that there needs to be a consistency so that I\u2019m the same on Sunday as I am on Monday, and I\u2019m very predictable in how we live our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for example, with the discipline of prayer, we\u2014in our home, the way we do discipleship with the boys\u2014it\u2019s not like a set time. We have a few of those, but it\u2019s just organic \/ it happens all the time\u2014if I were driving down the road, and we saw an accident, and I said, \u201cLet\u2019s pray,\u201d you\u2019d see all the kids\u2014everybody would bow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt would be <em>completely<\/em> normal in the course of our lives to just pray and to do those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I were to stop and say: \u201cHey, I want to read this paragraph. I came across it in my quiet time this morning,\u201d at the table, they\u2019d just immediately stop and listen\u2014you know?\u2014because it\u2019s by example. It\u2019s more caught than it is taught. So, I wonder when we\u2019re seeing disconnect there\u2014is it being modeled by their parents?\u00a0 And if you think about the totality of Scripture and parenting, there [are] relatively few verses on parenting. Most of the Scriptures are pointing at you, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong><em>You<\/em> live out <em>your<\/em> life. <em>You<\/em> live an exemplary life. <em>Then<\/em>, the kids are going to follow <em>you<\/em>. They\u2019re going to learn about God the Father by your being a good father. They\u2019re going to learn by your example; but I mean, you go to the New Testament\u2014I mean, you guys know this\u2014there\u2019s not a ton there. You know what I\u2019m saying\u2014okay, you\u2019ve got one in Colossians, Ephesians\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; those Ephesians verses; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; you\u2019ve got a few in Ephesians. Then, you\u2019re like: \u201cRevelation?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo; none in Revelation.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \u201cJude?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo; he\u2019s angry at Jude.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean, you\u2019re kind of like: \u201cWow!\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got Deuteronomy 6 \/ you\u2019ve got Proverbs 1.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I mean\u2014but it\u2019s relatively <em>scarce<\/em>. The emphasis, in Scripture, is on being godly parents. So, I\u2019ve got to be that example. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m watching this happen with our adult children, who\u2014five of the six have children. One couple just got married; so they\u2019re enjoying their first year of marriage; but they\u2019re all doing a pretty good job of what you\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLast night, I got a text from one of my grandchildren. I\u2019ll leave this child\u2019s identity anonymous at this point, but I called this child back. I said, \u201cSo, what\u2019s up?!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ll use the male pronoun here\u2014he said: \u201cWell, Poppa, I\u2019ve just been thinking about our community and the town we live in. I\u2019d like to ask the churches in this town\u201d\u2014there has to be a hundred of them\u2014\u201cto get together and be unified, and to get together, and pray and talk about how we can care for this community.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a chance, in the next 15 minutes, to just interact with a grandchild about a burden that has been passed on, by the parents, to this grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he caught this from his mom and dad, who are thinking about and demonstrating how to reach out to the community. That\u2019s what we want to see and need to see for the next generation. We\u2019re raising the next generation of messengers for the gospel of Jesus Christ for compassion, for kindness, for good in the community. This is really an important piece of the fabric of our nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely; especially like\u2014so, go back a thousand years\u2014you\u2019re an agrarian culture. Sons and daughters would grow up around their family farm. I think it just happened in the course of the day\u2014things just took place, and discipleship just happened. I think because of our busyness and the pace of culture, we have to be highly intentional; or it won\u2019t happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019ll be: \u201cTomorrow, I\u2019ll do that,\u201d or \u201cThe next day, I\u2019ll do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven before I left on this trip, I dropped off two books to my son that I\u2019d stumbled across that were at KFO\u2014the conference\u2014and I wanted him to read. I say: \u201cHey, I picked up a couple of books. I\u2019d like for you to read about it and kind of think about it. We\u2019ll talk about it when I come back tomorrow night.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m just constantly resourcing him \/ making him think through different things\u2014exposing him to the vulnerable \/ exposing him to compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other day, I was driving down the road\u2014and I\u2019d come back home before I picked up my son to go to an event\u2014and I saw that there was a car, on the side of the road, kind of overturned. So, I\u2014when I grabbed my son, we were going back the other direction. I got in that lane intentionally; and I said: \u201cOh no!\u00a0 It looks like a car is overturned.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cOkay; quick. Pull over. Let\u2019s do something.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s an instinct; right?\u00a0 He\u2019s learning compassion. He knew that we don\u2019t drive by cars that are rolled over and people are suffering\u2014we stop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe give aid\u2014get a blanket \/ help them with shock. We walk through what triage would look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI used that opportunity of that car broken down on the side of the road\u2014and it had some yellow tape on it, so I knew it\u2019d been there, maybe, a day; you know?\u00a0 But I wanted to use that opportunity, because I wanted to see what <em>his<\/em> instinct would be like in demonstrating compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just surprised that you could drop off a book and say, \u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it when I get home tomorrow.\u201d I had to pay\u2014my deal was: \u201cHere\u2019s a book. I want you to read it. I\u2019ll pay you $10 to read it, but you have to write a book report at the end of reading it.\u201d\u00a0 Now, best $10 I ever spent getting them to read books and write book reports like that. I couldn\u2019t just drop it off; you know?\u00a0 If I said, \u201cI want you to read this book,\u201d they\u2019d say: \u2018Well, I\u2019ve got a bunch of other stuff, Dad. I\u2019ve got to read that first; and then, I\u2019ll get around to the book you gave me.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I could have learned a few things from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes, but I\u2019m not confident he\u2019s going to actually read it. [Laughter]\u00a0 So, trust me; it sounds good on the microphone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the themes that you write about it your book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>, is that we, as followers of Christ, have to learn how to submit to one another \/ how to submit to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow are you teaching your sons to live a life of surrender to Jesus Christ and submission to other people?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; submission is a <em>critical<\/em> lesson for us\u2014in particular, raising boys; right?\u2014because they don\u2019t want to submit \/ they want to throw off submission. It\u2019s kind of connected to the fear of God. So, it\u2019s a fear of authority structures\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s governmental \/ police officers\u2014whatever it is. They just struggle with submission and self-control. Those are the two\u2014I think those are the two big issues. So, they\u2019ve got to learn to submit to them and see them as valuable and honor them. That includes their pastor \/ the elders. I mean, there is submission in every category. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI consciously teach them: \u201cLook, I\u2019m under submission. I\u2019m under submission to the governor of Kentucky. He is my boss, and I have to do what he says.\u201d\u00a0 They never see\u2014even in my own example\u2014that I\u2019m constantly \/ they need to see that I\u2019m constantly submitting. Even my wife and I\u2014and how we come to a resolution\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019ve never fought \/ we just have <em>intense<\/em> fellowship; right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, they are seeing that\u2014like: \u201cHow does that \/ what does that look like, and how do we mutually submit to one another and come to a resolution on something or something we need to buy, whatever it is?\u201d\u00a0 I just think that that\u2019s a <em>critical<\/em> part for a young person to gain\u2014is submission to authority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe start by teaching them theology. We start with Philippians 2:5-11 and the kenosis: that Jesus submitted Himself to the Father. They\u2019re equal \/ co-equal; but He submits Himself. And that\u2019s the marvelous side of Christology; right?\u2014that He would leave heaven and come to the slums of earth and <em>demonstrate<\/em> submission. And right before Philippians 2:5-11, he [Paul] tells them\u2014because they have disunity in the church\u2014he says: \u201cListen, submit to one another. Esteem others as better than yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, I\u2019m really trying to teach them that everybody in the room is better than you are\u2014and you take a posture, and you step back from all of that, constantly\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like just, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to be number one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You practically taught submission in some ways that might be unusual for parents to think about, but one of your kids was on a sports team and wanted to quit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You talked pretty straight to him about that, and it really had to do with submission; didn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; whatever we start, we finish: \u201cYou may not like it, but you will finish the season\u201d; you know?\u00a0 \u201cYou may choose to not continue to play whatever that is or whatever you are going to do; but whatever we start, we finish\u201d; because, I mean, that\u2019s all of life; right?\u00a0 It\u2019s not how you start; it\u2019s how you finish\u2014it\u2019s the end. I want them to learn that they can\u2019t quit, and to quit is not healthy and not good. They need to be resolved, and they need to be intense\u2014they need to do that. And whatever they start, they finish\u2014whether it\u2019s a small project\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014putting together a kit of some sort or whatever it is\u2014they start, and they finish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And when the team\u2019s not winning, which was the case in the sports team; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014they wanted out of there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, it was abysmal \/ it was embarrassing. I was\u2014it was bad; you know?\u00a0 But I said, \u201cNo; we finish this season.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019ll also help them count the cost before they sign up for the team; right? If they know: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m in this for the year. There\u2019s no escape clause from this. I\u2019m going to be in the play,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to be on the team,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to do this project,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re counting the cost before they make that decision; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I want their submission to erode their desire to be number one or to be victorious. I want to\u2014that submission trumps personal gain, or personal pleasure, or personal whatever\u2014fill in the blank. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; if you\u2019re going to be successful in a marriage relationship, you have to learn to give up your rights. You\u2019ve got to learn to die to self\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and meet the needs of the other person. And where are your children going to learn that?\u00a0 First of all, by observing how you two\u2014you and your spouse\u2014relate to each other; but secondly, you\u2019re going to have some opportunities to teach them some really valuable lessons about how team sports demand death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not about you\u2014it\u2019s about the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re looking for some ways to help your son or daughter grow\u2014maybe, they are young adults\u2014this book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>, I think, would be a great gift to, maybe, give to them and then offer to talk with them about it. In fact, when we\u2019re done here, I\u2019m going to ask you to sign this to one of my adult children\u2014I\u2019m not going to say who. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Sounds great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But I think this will make a <em>great<\/em> book for this <em>one<\/em> adult child; and I\u2019m going to double back and see if they want to talk further about it, because I think it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; this is one of those books that I would\u2014I\u2019d pay my kids the $10\u2014I might even go to $15 to pay a child to read a copy of Dan Dumas\u2019s book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of the book. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Live Smart: Preparing for the Future God Wants for You<\/em>. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you can order from us online\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order \/ 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have the opportunity, from time to time, to be out visiting with listeners, whether it\u2019s at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways or at an event where we\u2019re speaking. It\u2019s always interesting to me to hear the stories of how God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in somebody\u2019s life. Folks will come up, and they\u2019ll share about marriage challenges or parenting issues. I had somebody recently who just said, \u201cYou\u2019ve helped us raise our kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal, here, at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families; because we believe those godly marriages and families can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help support the ministry \/ help make all of this work possible. What you do every time you donate is\u2014you help us reach more people with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, recently, we were doing some calculations, and we saw that it takes about a little over $8 to reach 1,000 people with this program. That doesn\u2019t include the folks who are listening online, or through podcasts, or through our app. Your investment really does go a long way when you donate. And this month, when you donate, the investment goes even farther; because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and they\u2019ve said they\u2019re going to match ever donation we receive, during the month of August, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $800,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have not yet taken full advantage of that matching-gift opportunity. So, today would be a great day for you to go online and make a donation. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue talking about the important lessons that our children need to be learning during their teen years. Dan Dumas is going to be back with us again tomorrow. I hope you can be back as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with special help today from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; A Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:11"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.89M"],"filesize_raw":["26095739"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304642.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304642.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Dumas talks about the adoption process he and his wife walked through with their two sons. Dumas shares his burden to see kids head in the right direction and find their purpose.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-08-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Have you thought through, as a parent, the important lessons you want to be intentionally teaching your children as you raise them?\u00a0 Dan Dumas has; and one of the lessons he wants to make sure he teaches his kids is: \u201cDon\u2019t be a quitter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Whatever we start, we finish\u2014because, I mean, that\u2019s all of life; right?\u00a0 It\u2019s not how you start; it\u2019s how you finish\u2014it\u2019s the end. So, I want them to learn that they can\u2019t quit; and to quit is not healthy and not good. They need to be resolved, and they need to be intense\u2014they need to do that. Whatever they start, they finish. Whether it\u2019s a small project\u2014putting together a kit of some sort or whatever it is\u2014they start, and they finish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, August 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey; and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. There are lots of big ideas \/ big lessons that we need to be teaching our children as we raise them, and we need to be purposeful about that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There\u2019s this word that has been kind of emerging as we\u2019ve been talking this week. It\u2019s the word that is used to define you by your children\u2014when I talk with your children about the one word that would sum you up, the word, \u201cintentional,\u201d shows up quite often. That\u2019s the descriptor they have of you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, I didn\u2019t like it, at first, when they described me that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Why not?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201cCan\u2019t you get a better word?!\u201d\u00a0 Intentional doesn\u2019t have any\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Strong word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, it is a strong word; but I was thinking something nobler. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It\u2019s a little sterile. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; it\u2019s a little\u2014that\u2019s okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDan Dumas is our guest today, and he is an intentional guy and has written a <em>great<\/em> book called <em>Live Smart: Preparing for the Future God Wants for You<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome back to the broadcast, Dan. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Thank you for having me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Would your kids describe you as intentional?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I hope so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019ve got two kids \/ been married 25 years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; but they don\u2019t describe a whole lot at eight years old. They just kind of\u2014they\u2019re just living life. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But you are thinking, intentionally, about them\u2014more intentionally than your parents were thinking about you when they were raising you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, a multiple of intentionality. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Because you see life differently than you saw when you were growing up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; and partly, could be a little bit of a generational thing. I mean, I think that because of influences, like FamilyLife\u2014I just think a lot of dads are a little\u2014it\u2019s on the radar to be intentional. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if my father would have ever heard that, or listened to something, or been challenged or called out if he wasn\u2019t intentional; where if you are sitting under your local church and your pastor is teaching, then, it\u2019s going to come up; you know?\u00a0 In the course of good, faithful exposition, they\u2019re going to bring this stuff up, and call you up, and call you out\u2014kind of thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You have recently been appointed by the governor of Kentucky to head up a new office for the state of Kentucky\u2014the office of being the czar of adoption and foster care. You and your wife Jane have two children that you\u2019ve adopted. You mind telling us a little bit of that story, and how you ended up being the parents of two?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Sure. We couldn\u2019t have children\u2014we tried for 12 years. I came home from a ministry trip, and my wife met me in the driveway. Through the course of a friend\u2014they said there was a boy going to be born in about two months, and they called us to see if we\u2019d consider adopting him. He was in Kansas City. Of course, we jumped in the middle of that. You know, you had to expedite everything\u2014home-study \/ the whole package. It\u2019s a\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Had you talked about it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Not in depth. It was kind of like I got T-boned. It was just reflexive to kind of: \u201cAlright; let\u2019s do it!\u201d\u2014you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, 12 years of marriage \/ 12 years of infertility\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014you\u2019d obviously gone through the heartache of that, and that\u2019s a long season of heartache. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right; and I think we were just hopeful that something was going to work. I\u2019d had a few surgeries. We\u2019d tried everything known to medicine to kind of fix the problem, but it didn\u2019t seem to work. So, we were kind of at the end of that line; but we were content: \u201cMaybe, God doesn\u2019t want us to have biological children.\u201d\u00a0 So, we were moving down that path. We are gospel people\u2014so, it\u2019s certainly in the text of Scripture. We\u2014orphans are there \/ everywhere. We were starting to see it, because we were thinking it together and talking about it collectively. I just wouldn\u2019t say it would be the normal course of conversation over every meal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>It wasn\u2019t that intense, because we were still kind of wrestling with the infertility piece; but then, someone called, and we jumped in, both feet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; Bob and I have been in radio for more than 25 years. We\u2019ve talked about adoption, orphan care, [and] foster care numerous times. I don\u2019t think we\u2019ve spent a lot of time talking about infertility and its impact on a couple in their marriage. Any advice you would give a couple who are struggling with this right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I think what happens is, as you grow up\u2014especially for my wife\u2014you kind of have a picture of what your family is going to look like. It could be a little, quaint house with a white picket fence and 2.5 children\u2014or whatever. You know, you\u2019ve kind of got this in your mind\u2014an image. So, it is image-shattering, in that sense\u2014that\u2019s the hard part of it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, you kind of work through a process of emotions \/ then, you check yourself and make sure it doesn\u2019t become idolatry or something that\u2019s entitlement; because, certainly\u2014it wasn\u2019t the case for us\u2014so just working through the emotions of that. But kind of your view of God\u2014God\u2019s sovereign. You pillow your head \/ in adversity, you pillow your head on the sovereignty of God every single night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you adopted the first little guy at birth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; in the room. I stayed out, and they called me in. Yes; we got to experience the whole piece\u2014had him from\u2014brought him home two days later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How did the second child come to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Through friends in a local church down in lower Alabama. They called\u2014there was a grandmother in their church whose granddaughter\u2014I believe it was; yes\u2014had gotten pregnant and was considering giving up the child for adoption. They said, \u201cWould you like to be considered for that?\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cAbsolutely!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the themes of your book is surrender. Was it surrender to God to do the adoption \/ go the adoption route?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I mean, you just wonder, like, \u201cWill we love them like we\u2019d love our own biological?\u201d\u00a0 You just have wonder there, and you\u2019re not\u2014you\u2019re getting a different DNA set. There\u2019s a surrendering to that; but then, you live out the gospel every day. It kind of just shatters all that\u2014you say: \u201cYou know?\u00a0 God is in <em>total<\/em> control, and I have every reason to surrender. He\u2019s always provided for us. There\u2019s <em>no reason<\/em> to doubt Him now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>One of the people with whom you have worked closely is Dr. Russell Moore, and he\u2019s an adoption advocate. I remember him talking about his own adoption and about people talking about background, and heritage, and history. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe made the statement\u2014he said, \u201cGod knew that our kids would be Moores from the point of concept\u2014from before the point of conception.\u201d\u00a0 So, we\u2019re looking at how it unfolds in our lives; but this is not something that God came up with a Plan \u201cB\u201d for your kids to be your kids; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>No; absolutely. It\u2019s an adventure. I mean, the whole Christian life is an adventure; right?\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s really a joy-filled, at times tearful, adventure. You\u2019ve just kind of got to bounce, and pivot, and change. You\u2019ve got to be careful not to let ideals become idolatry. So, you counteract that with, all the time\u2014preaching the gospel to yourself. We\u2019re always getting up in the morning: \u201cI\u2019m the worst sinner in the room \/ I\u2019m the worst sinner I know. I\u2019ve got to put on faith \/ put on the armor of God. It\u2019s a spiritual battle, and I\u2019m here for a reason. We\u2019re a people of destiny\u2014Psalm 139\u201d; and that\u2019s how we approached it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have a burden\u2014in fact, I think it\u2019s a burden that helped lead to your writing the book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>. You want to see young people, at an early age, get pointed in the right direction and to start living life with wisdom\u2014not wait until you\u2019re 25 and then say, \u201cOkay; now, I\u2019m going to live like a smart person,\u201d but to start living smart from the time they are 12 and 13; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely. I think procrastination plagues young people. They just don\u2019t think about all the consequences of their decisions as they\u2019re young. So, procrastination, I think, is a big problem for all categories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And you\u2019re not just saying procrastination, as in: \u201cI\u2019ll do my homework tomorrow\u201d; but you\u2019re talking about putting off adulthood until you\u2019re at a certain age. I read an article recently in <em>The Wall Street Journal<\/em> that talked about \u201cadulting\u201d being a verb now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When a young person does something responsible, it is #adulting: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSee, I didn\u2019t binge-watch Netflix; but instead, I cleaned my apartment #adulting.\u201d\u00a0 The author\u2014the guy who wrote the article was saying, \u201cThis is a generation that has delayed the whole idea of embracing responsibility and embracing what it means to be a grown-up.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s part of what you\u2019re trying to address in the book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely; I mean I\u2014when\u2014I\u2019m a lover of Proverbs; right?\u00a0 So, Proverbs\u2014it\u2019s probably the [densest] parenting section of all the Bible. Proverbs 1:1-9:18 is, really, a father sitting down with his son and sharing 15 different discourses of things that they need to think through and have in order. Well, the first is: \u201cFear God\u201d; right?\u2014Chapter 1. Then, it says, \u201cHonor your parents.\u201d\u00a0 Then, it says: \u201cChoose your friends wisely. Don\u2019t let sinners entice you.\u201d\u00a0 Fourth is: \u201cObey God, immediately.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you remember\u2014Solomon characterizes wisdom as a lady \/ a striking woman on the corner\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014she\u2019s calling out. Well, I think that\u2019s the spiritual procrastination \/ they don\u2019t have an urgency. There is an assumption that: \u201cEverything, at 25 or 35, will be okay; even though I sow my spiritual oats or don\u2019t,\u201d\u2014and you\u2019re going to be all right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just say, \u201cNo.\u201d The counter to the spiritual procrastination is this high intentionality, and to <em>not<\/em> play it safe, and kind of take the necessary risk and grow\u2014and start at a young age\u2014start forming these habits. In particular, I\u2019m concerned about their spiritual disciplines. That\u2019s why\u2014kind of making sure they\u2019re reading their Bible, they\u2019re praying, and going to church and loving the church\u2014not just going to church\u2014but actually loving\/engaging the church\u2014serving in the church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, starting to\u2014if you want to be a great man, you\u2019ve got to be a great boy. You\u2019re not just going to wake up today\u2014the light\u2019s going to come on; and you\u2019re going to be at full-scale, progressive, growing, [and] mature in faith kind of Christian. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, how do parents\u2014how do we get our kids to want to be purposeful when they\u2019re 13, because most of the kids don\u2019t want to. We can put together a checklist of: \u201cWell, you\u2019ve got to do this discipline, and this discipline, and this\u2026\u201d but we\u2019re just manufacturing a burden for them, not something that they\u2019re doing as a delight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. I think a lot of it is a modeling\u2014example. I mean, I think the truth is\u2014a lot of people come home, and they\u2019re faith is on Sundays. On Monday, something happens, you know\u2014or doesn\u2019t happen, maybe\u2014I think that there needs to be a consistency so that I\u2019m the same on Sunday as I am on Monday, and I\u2019m very predictable in how we live our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for example, with the discipline of prayer, we\u2014in our home, the way we do discipleship with the boys\u2014it\u2019s not like a set time. We have a few of those, but it\u2019s just organic \/ it happens all the time\u2014if I were driving down the road, and we saw an accident, and I said, \u201cLet\u2019s pray,\u201d you\u2019d see all the kids\u2014everybody would bow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt would be <em>completely<\/em> normal in the course of our lives to just pray and to do those things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I were to stop and say: \u201cHey, I want to read this paragraph. I came across it in my quiet time this morning,\u201d at the table, they\u2019d just immediately stop and listen\u2014you know?\u2014because it\u2019s by example. It\u2019s more caught than it is taught. So, I wonder when we\u2019re seeing disconnect there\u2014is it being modeled by their parents?\u00a0 And if you think about the totality of Scripture and parenting, there [are] relatively few verses on parenting. Most of the Scriptures are pointing at you, as parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong><em>You<\/em> live out <em>your<\/em> life. <em>You<\/em> live an exemplary life. <em>Then<\/em>, the kids are going to follow <em>you<\/em>. They\u2019re going to learn about God the Father by your being a good father. They\u2019re going to learn by your example; but I mean, you go to the New Testament\u2014I mean, you guys know this\u2014there\u2019s not a ton there. You know what I\u2019m saying\u2014okay, you\u2019ve got one in Colossians, Ephesians\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; those Ephesians verses; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; you\u2019ve got a few in Ephesians. Then, you\u2019re like: \u201cRevelation?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo; none in Revelation.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \u201cJude?\u201d\u2014\u201cNo; he\u2019s angry at Jude.\u201d [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean, you\u2019re kind of like: \u201cWow!\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got Deuteronomy 6 \/ you\u2019ve got Proverbs 1.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>I mean\u2014but it\u2019s relatively <em>scarce<\/em>. The emphasis, in Scripture, is on being godly parents. So, I\u2019ve got to be that example. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019m watching this happen with our adult children, who\u2014five of the six have children. One couple just got married; so they\u2019re enjoying their first year of marriage; but they\u2019re all doing a pretty good job of what you\u2019re talking about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLast night, I got a text from one of my grandchildren. I\u2019ll leave this child\u2019s identity anonymous at this point, but I called this child back. I said, \u201cSo, what\u2019s up?!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ll use the male pronoun here\u2014he said: \u201cWell, Poppa, I\u2019ve just been thinking about our community and the town we live in. I\u2019d like to ask the churches in this town\u201d\u2014there has to be a hundred of them\u2014\u201cto get together and be unified, and to get together, and pray and talk about how we can care for this community.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a chance, in the next 15 minutes, to just interact with a grandchild about a burden that has been passed on, by the parents, to this grandchild. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he caught this from his mom and dad, who are thinking about and demonstrating how to reach out to the community. That\u2019s what we want to see and need to see for the next generation. We\u2019re raising the next generation of messengers for the gospel of Jesus Christ for compassion, for kindness, for good in the community. This is really an important piece of the fabric of our nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Absolutely; especially like\u2014so, go back a thousand years\u2014you\u2019re an agrarian culture. Sons and daughters would grow up around their family farm. I think it just happened in the course of the day\u2014things just took place, and discipleship just happened. I think because of our busyness and the pace of culture, we have to be highly intentional; or it won\u2019t happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019ll be: \u201cTomorrow, I\u2019ll do that,\u201d or \u201cThe next day, I\u2019ll do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven before I left on this trip, I dropped off two books to my son that I\u2019d stumbled across that were at KFO\u2014the conference\u2014and I wanted him to read. I say: \u201cHey, I picked up a couple of books. I\u2019d like for you to read about it and kind of think about it. We\u2019ll talk about it when I come back tomorrow night.\u201d\u00a0 So, I\u2019m just constantly resourcing him \/ making him think through different things\u2014exposing him to the vulnerable \/ exposing him to compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other day, I was driving down the road\u2014and I\u2019d come back home before I picked up my son to go to an event\u2014and I saw that there was a car, on the side of the road, kind of overturned. So, I\u2014when I grabbed my son, we were going back the other direction. I got in that lane intentionally; and I said: \u201cOh no!\u00a0 It looks like a car is overturned.\u201d\u00a0 He said: \u201cOkay; quick. Pull over. Let\u2019s do something.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s an instinct; right?\u00a0 He\u2019s learning compassion. He knew that we don\u2019t drive by cars that are rolled over and people are suffering\u2014we stop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe give aid\u2014get a blanket \/ help them with shock. We walk through what triage would look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI used that opportunity of that car broken down on the side of the road\u2014and it had some yellow tape on it, so I knew it\u2019d been there, maybe, a day; you know?\u00a0 But I wanted to use that opportunity, because I wanted to see what <em>his<\/em> instinct would be like in demonstrating compassion. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I\u2019m just surprised that you could drop off a book and say, \u201cWe\u2019ll talk about it when I get home tomorrow.\u201d I had to pay\u2014my deal was: \u201cHere\u2019s a book. I want you to read it. I\u2019ll pay you $10 to read it, but you have to write a book report at the end of reading it.\u201d\u00a0 Now, best $10 I ever spent getting them to read books and write book reports like that. I couldn\u2019t just drop it off; you know?\u00a0 If I said, \u201cI want you to read this book,\u201d they\u2019d say: \u2018Well, I\u2019ve got a bunch of other stuff, Dad. I\u2019ve got to read that first; and then, I\u2019ll get around to the book you gave me.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, I could have learned a few things from you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes, but I\u2019m not confident he\u2019s going to actually read it. [Laughter]\u00a0 So, trust me; it sounds good on the microphone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>One of the themes that you write about it your book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>, is that we, as followers of Christ, have to learn how to submit to one another \/ how to submit to God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow are you teaching your sons to live a life of surrender to Jesus Christ and submission to other people?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; submission is a <em>critical<\/em> lesson for us\u2014in particular, raising boys; right?\u2014because they don\u2019t want to submit \/ they want to throw off submission. It\u2019s kind of connected to the fear of God. So, it\u2019s a fear of authority structures\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s governmental \/ police officers\u2014whatever it is. They just struggle with submission and self-control. Those are the two\u2014I think those are the two big issues. So, they\u2019ve got to learn to submit to them and see them as valuable and honor them. That includes their pastor \/ the elders. I mean, there is submission in every category. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI consciously teach them: \u201cLook, I\u2019m under submission. I\u2019m under submission to the governor of Kentucky. He is my boss, and I have to do what he says.\u201d\u00a0 They never see\u2014even in my own example\u2014that I\u2019m constantly \/ they need to see that I\u2019m constantly submitting. Even my wife and I\u2014and how we come to a resolution\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014we\u2019ve never fought \/ we just have <em>intense<\/em> fellowship; right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, they are seeing that\u2014like: \u201cHow does that \/ what does that look like, and how do we mutually submit to one another and come to a resolution on something or something we need to buy, whatever it is?\u201d\u00a0 I just think that that\u2019s a <em>critical<\/em> part for a young person to gain\u2014is submission to authority. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe start by teaching them theology. We start with Philippians 2:5-11 and the kenosis: that Jesus submitted Himself to the Father. They\u2019re equal \/ co-equal; but He submits Himself. And that\u2019s the marvelous side of Christology; right?\u2014that He would leave heaven and come to the slums of earth and <em>demonstrate<\/em> submission. And right before Philippians 2:5-11, he [Paul] tells them\u2014because they have disunity in the church\u2014he says: \u201cListen, submit to one another. Esteem others as better than yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>So, I\u2019m really trying to teach them that everybody in the room is better than you are\u2014and you take a posture, and you step back from all of that, constantly\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014like just, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to be number one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You practically taught submission in some ways that might be unusual for parents to think about, but one of your kids was on a sports team and wanted to quit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You talked pretty straight to him about that, and it really had to do with submission; didn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; whatever we start, we finish: \u201cYou may not like it, but you will finish the season\u201d; you know?\u00a0 \u201cYou may choose to not continue to play whatever that is or whatever you are going to do; but whatever we start, we finish\u201d; because, I mean, that\u2019s all of life; right?\u00a0 It\u2019s not how you start; it\u2019s how you finish\u2014it\u2019s the end. I want them to learn that they can\u2019t quit, and to quit is not healthy and not good. They need to be resolved, and they need to be intense\u2014they need to do that. And whatever they start, they finish\u2014whether it\u2019s a small project\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014putting together a kit of some sort or whatever it is\u2014they start, and they finish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And when the team\u2019s not winning, which was the case in the sports team; right?\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014they wanted out of there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Oh, it was abysmal \/ it was embarrassing. I was\u2014it was bad; you know?\u00a0 But I said, \u201cNo; we finish this season.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019ll also help them count the cost before they sign up for the team; right? If they know: \u201cOkay; I\u2019m in this for the year. There\u2019s no escape clause from this. I\u2019m going to be in the play,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to be on the team,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m going to do this project,\u201d\u2014they\u2019re counting the cost before they make that decision; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Yes; I want their submission to erode their desire to be number one or to be victorious. I want to\u2014that submission trumps personal gain, or personal pleasure, or personal whatever\u2014fill in the blank. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes; if you\u2019re going to be successful in a marriage relationship, you have to learn to give up your rights. You\u2019ve got to learn to die to self\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>\u2014every day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014and meet the needs of the other person. And where are your children going to learn that?\u00a0 First of all, by observing how you two\u2014you and your spouse\u2014relate to each other; but secondly, you\u2019re going to have some opportunities to teach them some really valuable lessons about how team sports demand death to self. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not about you\u2014it\u2019s about the team. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if you\u2019re looking for some ways to help your son or daughter grow\u2014maybe, they are young adults\u2014this book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>, I think, would be a great gift to, maybe, give to them and then offer to talk with them about it. In fact, when we\u2019re done here, I\u2019m going to ask you to sign this to one of my adult children\u2014I\u2019m not going to say who. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan: <\/strong>Sounds great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But I think this will make a <em>great<\/em> book for this <em>one<\/em> adult child; and I\u2019m going to double back and see if they want to talk further about it, because I think it\u2019s a <em>great<\/em> book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; this is one of those books that I would\u2014I\u2019d pay my kids the $10\u2014I might even go to $15 to pay a child to read a copy of Dan Dumas\u2019s book, <em>Live Smart<\/em>. It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of the book. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Live Smart: Preparing for the Future God Wants for You<\/em>. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you can order from us online\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order \/ 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have the opportunity, from time to time, to be out visiting with listeners, whether it\u2019s at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways or at an event where we\u2019re speaking. It\u2019s always interesting to me to hear the stories of how God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in somebody\u2019s life. Folks will come up, and they\u2019ll share about marriage challenges or parenting issues. I had somebody recently who just said, \u201cYou\u2019ve helped us raise our kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal, here, at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families; because we believe those godly marriages and families can change the world, one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just want to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help support the ministry \/ help make all of this work possible. What you do every time you donate is\u2014you help us reach more people with practical biblical help and hope for your marriage and your family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, recently, we were doing some calculations, and we saw that it takes about a little over $8 to reach 1,000 people with this program. That doesn\u2019t include the folks who are listening online, or through podcasts, or through our app. Your investment really does go a long way when you donate. And this month, when you donate, the investment goes even farther; because we\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and they\u2019ve said they\u2019re going to match ever donation we receive, during the month of August, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $800,000. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have not yet taken full advantage of that matching-gift opportunity. So, today would be a great day for you to go online and make a donation. Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue talking about the important lessons that our children need to be learning during their teen years. Dan Dumas is going to be back with us again tomorrow. I hope you can be back as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, with special help today from Mark Ramey. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas; A Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Ministry. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304642","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304642"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304642"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304642"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304642"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}