{"id":304610,"date":"2017-07-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1\/"},"modified":"2017-07-25T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-07-25T15:00:00","slug":"terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Terrorism of the Soul, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis Rainey alerts us to the dangers of what he calls &#8220;terrorism of the soul&#8221; as he explores the toxic effects of pornography on marriages, families, and our souls in part one of this message.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:24:48","filesize":"22.71M","filesize_raw":"23809442","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2849,2844],"tags":[2872,4878,4874,5645,2989,4825],"podcast_series":[8075],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304610","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-drifting-apart","category-pornography","tag-addiction","tag-affairs","tag-infidelity","tag-ministry-marriage","tag-pornography","tag-temptation","podcast_series-spiritual-life-coaching","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304610\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304610\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0lsdz8EGU6\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1\/\">Terrorism of the Soul, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/terrorism-of-the-soul-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=0lsdz8EGU6\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Terrorism of the Soul, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0lsdz8EGU6\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Book of Ecclesiastes says two are better than one. Dennis Rainey says, after more than four decades of marriage, he understands a little bit about why. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara, for me, is a gift from God. She\u2019s a woman, and 42 years of marriage has taught me she is different\u2014<em>really<\/em> different. Different isn\u2019t wrong, it\u2019s just different; but in the differences is the gift. As her husband, I must value, embrace, and listen\u2014listen, listen\u2014to her counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Do you see your spouse as a gift from God for you? We\u2019re going to spend time looking at that subject today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. We are spending time this week listening to lectures that you shared a couple years ago at Dallas Theological Seminary for students and spouses\u2014lectures on marriage. This was part of their spiritual emphasis week that they were hosting at the seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, I had to think, as I listened back to these lectures: most of these seminarians\u2014when they are listening to their professors in class\u2014they are getting a lot of information, but they are not necessarily called to do a lot of application with the information that they are getting\u2014but one of your professors at Dallas Seminary said, \u201cApplication is the key;\u201d didn\u2019t he? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you are talking about my mentor and my friend\u2014who has now gone on to heaven\u2014Dr. Howard Hendricks\u2014taught at Dallas Theological Seminary for over 60\u2014count them, 6-0\u2014years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe believed\u2014he said this\u2014he said, \u201cI think the church today suffers from a Vitamin A deficiency.\u201d \u201cA\u201d being \u201cApplication\u201d. I think he\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we hear a great sermon on Sunday morning and then, it\u2019s over\u2014and we rush out to our car, we dash home, we get involved in media\/TV, chores around the house\u2014and we don\u2019t take the time to process the truth of God\u2019s Word that has been given to us and apply it to our lives in a practical way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, as you sat down with these young seminary students, you went right to the heart to talk about challenges they are going to face\u2014or that they may already be facing\u2014in their marriage relationship. You had them for four days\u2014not four full days\u2014but you spoke to them four times over a four-day period. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Great privilege, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You called them to be doers of the Word, not hearers only. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday\u2019s message was all about some of the real challenges that lay ahead for them or that may already have invaded their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and the one I talked about today\u2014it got very, very quiet when I talked about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, this is going to be a heavy message, ultimately. It doesn\u2019t start out that way, but I want to talk about the terrorism of the soul\u2014the assault on your soul by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Sometimes, it comes from the most unusual people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was in Kansas City, speaking at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. These were back in the early days of our ministry when we couldn\u2019t afford for our wives to go speak at the conference. So the men would go, and we\u2019d speak about the wife\u2019s role in marriage. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was one of the real high points of the weekend for those people. We quickly raised the money so the wives could go. Feedback won the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was Saturday night. We\u2019d been out to eat as a team, and I\u2019d gone back to my room. It was about 10 o\u2019clock, I remember. I just thought, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to click on the TV.\u201d <em>The Ten Commandments <\/em>was on, and I just left it on. My phone rang. I\u2019d already talked to Barbara, and talked about her day and how the kids were doing. This was in the early 80\u2019s\u2014I think we had four children at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a woman\u2019s voice on the other end. It wasn\u2019t Barbara. The woman said, \u201cHey, how you doing?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m doing fine.\u201d \u201cCan I come up?\u201d I said, \u201cExcuse me?\u201d She said, \u201cCan I come up?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think that\u2019d be a very good idea.\u201d She said, \u201cWhy?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, two reasons.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNumber one: I\u2019m happily married to a woman who is a magnet. She\u2019s a magnificent, godly woman who draws me from all over the country. Number two: I\u2019m watching <em>The Ten Commandments<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] True story! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEphesians 6 and I John 2 remind us that our souls are under daily assault by these terrorists\u2014the unseen forces of the world, the flesh, and the devil. In fact, I walked in to Bob Lepine\u2019s office one day\u2014he\u2019s the co-host of our broadcast\u2014and I said, \u201cBob, I wish I had glasses that would help me spot when I\u2019m battling the world, when I\u2019m battling the devil, or when it\u2019s my own flesh, so I could spot it.\u201d Well I do have the Holy Spirit, and He does help us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver the past 11 years, I have been a mentor to a couple of guys in the pastorate. There has been one subject that has dominated our monthly phone conversations. It\u2019s the same issue that dominated our date nights as we were raising our children. Barbara and I would go out for a date on Sunday nights. It started out to be a romantic date, but it ended up being the President and the Vice President of the Rainey family getting together and pulling out our schedules and looking at how we were going to manage this thing called ministry, life, family, and marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do not know of another subject that caused more conflict in my marriage than those date nights, battling out the priorities of this little fledgling family that was starting. This is one of the unseen battles that can take you and me out of the race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not nearly as sexy as some of the others\u2014it\u2019s a private one. It is the relentless pace of life and making choices that represent this Book. Ephesians 5:15 exhorts us, \u201cLook carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.\u201d Deadlines, emergencies, over commitments, pressure all relentlessly create a fatigue that can leave us vulnerable to the other traps. Are you with me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to quickly go through the wisdom of 45 years in ministry of battling this assault. I would encourage you to write these down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one: Pray for and seek God for wisdom. James 1:2-8 commands us to ask God for wisdom when we face various trials. Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living. You know where I learned that? Israel. I paid $399 and went to Israel with Bruce Waltke. Some of the professors know him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBruce taught Old Testament. It was one of the most fierce courses to pass out of anything here at Dallas Seminary. As we were going through the land of Israel, he was quoting from his photographic memory, translating from Aramaic, to some other language, to English\u2014and spouting off all these things. Finally, by the end of the trip\u2014I\u2019m just a country boy from southwest Missouri. I was impressed at this professor\u2014I said, \u201cDr. Waltke, what is it like to be a genius?\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cThese Arab guys are threatened by you because you know more about their country than they do, and they live here\u2014and they grew up here. They\u2019re professionals.\u201d This absolutely transformed my decision-making\u2014he said, \u201cAh, Dennis, back at the seminary, knowledge divides, but wisdom edifies.\u201d He said, \u201cAs professors, we are battling this knowledge deal, and it becomes an ego-deal. It can divide us\u2014but wisdom,\u201d he said, \u201cis skill in everyday living\u2014godly skill in everyday living.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to handle this terrorist attack, you\u2019ve got to have wisdom from on high\u2014godly skill\u2014 godly application from the Scripture. Abiding in Christ\u2014abiding in the Word\u2014walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. You can\u2019t drop your armor for a moment! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, listen carefully to your spouse, if you\u2019re married\u2014or have a couple of best friends, if you\u2019re single\u2014that you can bounce ideas off and get some alignment. Barbara\u2014for me\u2014is a gift from God. She\u2019s a woman, and 42 years of marriage has taught me, she is different\u2014<em>really<\/em> different. Different isn\u2019t wrong\u2014it\u2019s just different\u2014but in the differences, is the gift. She processes change differently than I do. She\u2019s slower. I\u2019m faster. She adds different perspectives\u2014different values. More than once, she saw things that I didn\u2019t. She sees things that I don\u2019t. As her husband, I must value, embrace, and listen\u2014listen, listen\u2014to her counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext point: because I have a tendency to overschedule and say, \u201cYes,\u201d to too many things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I instituted a boundary to protect me from me. Anybody else suffer from that in here? Type-A personalities? I don\u2019t make\u2014here\u2019s the boundary\u2014I don\u2019t make a commitment or take a speaking engagement without first talking to Barbara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you, there was a time there where, if you could get me on the phone, you got me. Why? Because I\u2019m in the ministry to help people! How am I going to turn my back on a need? But I have found it is tremendously liberating to say, \u201cYou know, let me talk to my wife about that first.\u201d Then, we\u2019d have a date, and we\u2019d argue about it. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one that has really been good: Take an annual inventory that monitors your commitments. Look back over your calendar from the past 12 months\u2014take a year at a time\u2014and total up the number of days you traveled\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014number of days you were away from your kids, away from your spouse, number of nights gone during the week\u2014and take a look at it. It\u2019s revealing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, take a look at the year you have in front of you. Total up the number of days traveling; number of days away from the kids, number of days away from each other, number of nights gone each week. If you leave no margin, you are setting yourself up to fail where it matters most\u2014in your private life, and in your marriage and family. If you\u2019re married, determine together your margins that you need to set together and your limits as a family. Resist the temptation to schedule to the edge\u2014to the brink. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext point: Learn the power of the word, \u201cNo.\u201d Say, \u201cNo\u201d to something every day\u2014even if it\u2019s a tree. Just walk up to it and say, \u201cNo\u201d\u2014just to stay in practice. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to me\u2014too many women and men find that their success <em>in<\/em> ministry can be the demise of their ministry because, once you build it, then you\u2019ve got to feed it. You determine you\u2019ve out-punted your coverage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinal point: Schedule defensively. Determine together what seasons or months during the year are most difficult for you\u2014as a single person, as a married person, as a family\u2014and begin to protect those months in advance. For us, two months were the worst. What do you think they were, raising a family? December and May. We found if we could protect those, it could build an island of clarity. One reminder here\u2014to say that you don\u2019t have time is not really a statement of fact. It is a statement of value\u2014of what you want to invest in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPsalm 101 is a great passage that has helped keep me and helped me in my journey to holiness. 101, verses 1-4, \u201cI will sing of the steadfast love and justice. To You, O Lord, I will make music. I will ponder the way that is blameless. O, when will You come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house. I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away. It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall be far from me. I will know nothing of evil.\u201d What a great exhortation! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tC.H. Spurgeon, when speaking of evil, said, \u201cOf the two evils, choose neither.\u201d [Laughter] I want to show you what evil does to a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a pastor from Oklahoma City. This is from the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series that we\u2019ve done in an effort to challenge men to step up and step away from pornography. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Stepping Up<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Found a magazine under my dad\u2019s bed\u2014and I hated myself\u2014but the moment I saw it, my heart started beating fast, overwhelmed with curiosity. That\u2019s where the struggle\u2014that\u2019s where it started. Because I didn\u2019t have a relationship with the Lord, it made it very easy for me to feed this new thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a sophomore\u2014I was 19 years old. I started college pretty early. A girl invited me to Campus Crusade. They were trying to reach me for Jesus, and it just started to come together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would love to say that everything changed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He had crooked teeth, and he did not dress well. So, that really wasn\u2019t it. \u201cWhat are you going to do after college?\u201d He said, \u201cI\u2019m thinking about going to seminary.\u201d That was like the moment that I thought, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got to\u2014something is going to happen here\u2014I really like him.\u201d <br><br><strong>Chris: <\/strong>Marriage is one of those crazy things that you have all of these ideals of what it is supposed to be like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>You know, the first year was dreadful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Wow! Is this really\u2014is it going to be this hard? It becomes very easy to then go look at magazines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>I do remember a couple of occasions where I came home from work or something, and I would walk in. There was an image there that he couldn\u2019t get off the screen fast enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>So, it went from looking at images to chatting; having an interaction with this girl. She said, \u201cYou want to meet?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will never forget driving home. I had broken my promise. I can never go back and say that I kept my vow. I hated myself. I hated what I was doing to the name of Christ. That led to about a two-and-a-half year period of time, where I was physically unfaithful to my wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>I just assumed that my husband\u2014my worship leader\/youth pastor husband, was walking in full integrity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>A lot of my walk with God was a show. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met Craig Groeschel, who is the senior pastor at Life Church. A year later, he called me up. The idea of moving to Oklahoma City was not appealing at all, but I legitimately thought that this was God\u2019s do-over for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sitting in a staff meeting, and Craig made a statement. He said, \u201cOur private lives are what give us the opportunity to minister publicly.\u201d <br><br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>That Tuesday morning, February 19, 2002, the door opens\u2014at like 9:30 in the morning. I come around the corner, and he says--\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u201cHoney, we\u2019ve got to talk.\u201d <br><br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He just starts telling me the most awful things you can ever imagine hearing from your spouse. One minute, I\u2019m unpacking boxes and 60 seconds later, I am wanting to die. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>I felt that\u2014at the time\u2014there is no other way than to get completely honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He looked at me, and he said, \u201cI know you\u2019ll never trust me again.\u201d He said, \u201cBut if you\u2019ll let me, I\u2019ll spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.\u201d That was ten years ago. Nothing is off-limits for me. His life is an open book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, thankfully\u2014because of that\u2014God has allowed me to have trust in a man again that I never thought I would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>I am, to this day, completely free. I am not fixed, but I am not the same guy. God has set me free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End Audio Excerpt]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s quite a story. He confessed his sin in front of the whole church, lost his job, kept going to church there. They took away every screen that he had. I believe it was two\u2014or two-and-a-half to three\u2014years later, he was rehired to minister. It\u2019s a picture of redemption and God\u2019s grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re stepping into the middle of a message that you shared recently with students at Dallas Theological Seminary. As you said, it was quiet on this particular day, when you were talking about this particular issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you, Bob, pornography is really harming boys, young men, and men. It\u2019s preying\u2014it\u2019s predatory. It is aggressively coming after our sons, our grandsons, our husbands, our fathers. I just want to encourage a listener right now\u2014Don\u2019t merely be a hearer only. If you\u2019ve got a problem with this, find a way to come clean. Find another man to confess to. Then, ultimately, go to your spouse\u2014your bride\u2014and ask for forgiveness there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this may be the number-one addiction in America. It\u2019s far more lethal, I think, than drugs or alcohol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; you shared with your audience at Dallas Seminary the story of Chris and Cindy Beall\u2014the video from <em>Stepping Up<\/em> which\u2014by the way\u2014if our listeners would like to see the video, it\u2019s online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention that Chris and Cindy are going to be guests on <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at the end of August, so we\u2019ll get an update on their story here coming up in a little more than a month. But, again, you can see the video when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to think, as I listened to you, Dennis, about Chapter One in your new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>, where you say one of the key choices all of us have to make is the choice to seek God, not sin. That\u2019s the daily issue for each one of us. Are we going to go God\u2019s direction, or are we going to be led by our flesh and wind up in sin that leads, ultimately, to destruction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book I\u2019m talking about is brand-new. It\u2019s called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters: Seven Decisions You\u2019ll Never Regret.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think this is a book you\u2019ll want to share with others. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters: Seven Decisions You\u2019ll Never Regret,<\/em> from Dennis Rainey. You can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information about Dennis Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when we tackle subjects on this program like the subject you tackled today\u2014the subject of pornography\u2014the reason to address that is because this is where real life is lived. This is the kind of stuff that couples tell us\u2014 families tell us\u2014these are the issues\u2014that are coming up in their home\u2014the issues they need help with. Our goal at FamilyLife is to provide practical, Biblical, honest, transparent, real-life help and hope for marriages and families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to effectively develop godly families, and we\u2019re grateful to those of you who are not only regular listeners to this program, but those of you who help make this program possible for everyone else\u2014those of you who donate in support of this ministry. You are the ones who provide <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for tens of thousands of people all around the world who are tuning in each day to listen both on local radio, on the internet, through our mobile app. More people are listening in more ways than ever before\u2014and we\u2019re grateful to you for helping to make that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener, but you\u2019ve never supported this ministry, how about making today the day you make your first donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>? We\u2019d love to have you join the team. You can donate easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and donate over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d prefer, you can mail your donation to us. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear your advice to young men on how to get free from the snare of pornography and other issues\u2014other temptations we face in marriage. That comes up tomorrow. Hope our listeners can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:24:48"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.71M"],"filesize_raw":["23809442"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304610.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304610.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Rainey alerts us to the dangers of what he calls \"terrorism of the soul\" as he explores the toxic effects of pornography on marriages, families, and our souls in part one of this message.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>The Book of Ecclesiastes says two are better than one. Dennis Rainey says, after more than four decades of marriage, he understands a little bit about why. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Barbara, for me, is a gift from God. She\u2019s a woman, and 42 years of marriage has taught me she is different\u2014<em>really<\/em> different. Different isn\u2019t wrong, it\u2019s just different; but in the differences is the gift. As her husband, I must value, embrace, and listen\u2014listen, listen\u2014to her counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, July 25<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. Do you see your spouse as a gift from God for you? We\u2019re going to spend time looking at that subject today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. We are spending time this week listening to lectures that you shared a couple years ago at Dallas Theological Seminary for students and spouses\u2014lectures on marriage. This was part of their spiritual emphasis week that they were hosting at the seminary. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, I had to think, as I listened back to these lectures: most of these seminarians\u2014when they are listening to their professors in class\u2014they are getting a lot of information, but they are not necessarily called to do a lot of application with the information that they are getting\u2014but one of your professors at Dallas Seminary said, \u201cApplication is the key;\u201d didn\u2019t he? [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, you are talking about my mentor and my friend\u2014who has now gone on to heaven\u2014Dr. Howard Hendricks\u2014taught at Dallas Theological Seminary for over 60\u2014count them, 6-0\u2014years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe believed\u2014he said this\u2014he said, \u201cI think the church today suffers from a Vitamin A deficiency.\u201d \u201cA\u201d being \u201cApplication\u201d. I think he\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we hear a great sermon on Sunday morning and then, it\u2019s over\u2014and we rush out to our car, we dash home, we get involved in media\/TV, chores around the house\u2014and we don\u2019t take the time to process the truth of God\u2019s Word that has been given to us and apply it to our lives in a practical way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, as you sat down with these young seminary students, you went right to the heart to talk about challenges they are going to face\u2014or that they may already be facing\u2014in their marriage relationship. You had them for four days\u2014not four full days\u2014but you spoke to them four times over a four-day period. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Great privilege, by the way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You called them to be doers of the Word, not hearers only. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday\u2019s message was all about some of the real challenges that lay ahead for them or that may already have invaded their marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, and the one I talked about today\u2014it got very, very quiet when I talked about it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, this is going to be a heavy message, ultimately. It doesn\u2019t start out that way, but I want to talk about the terrorism of the soul\u2014the assault on your soul by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Sometimes, it comes from the most unusual people. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was in Kansas City, speaking at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. These were back in the early days of our ministry when we couldn\u2019t afford for our wives to go speak at the conference. So the men would go, and we\u2019d speak about the wife\u2019s role in marriage. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was one of the real high points of the weekend for those people. We quickly raised the money so the wives could go. Feedback won the day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was Saturday night. We\u2019d been out to eat as a team, and I\u2019d gone back to my room. It was about 10 o\u2019clock, I remember. I just thought, \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m going to click on the TV.\u201d <em>The Ten Commandments <\/em>was on, and I just left it on. My phone rang. I\u2019d already talked to Barbara, and talked about her day and how the kids were doing. This was in the early 80\u2019s\u2014I think we had four children at the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a woman\u2019s voice on the other end. It wasn\u2019t Barbara. The woman said, \u201cHey, how you doing?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m doing fine.\u201d \u201cCan I come up?\u201d I said, \u201cExcuse me?\u201d She said, \u201cCan I come up?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t think that\u2019d be a very good idea.\u201d She said, \u201cWhy?\u201d I said, \u201cWell, two reasons.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNumber one: I\u2019m happily married to a woman who is a magnet. She\u2019s a magnificent, godly woman who draws me from all over the country. Number two: I\u2019m watching <em>The Ten Commandments<\/em>.\u201d [Laughter] True story! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEphesians 6 and I John 2 remind us that our souls are under daily assault by these terrorists\u2014the unseen forces of the world, the flesh, and the devil. In fact, I walked in to Bob Lepine\u2019s office one day\u2014he\u2019s the co-host of our broadcast\u2014and I said, \u201cBob, I wish I had glasses that would help me spot when I\u2019m battling the world, when I\u2019m battling the devil, or when it\u2019s my own flesh, so I could spot it.\u201d Well I do have the Holy Spirit, and He does help us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOver the past 11 years, I have been a mentor to a couple of guys in the pastorate. There has been one subject that has dominated our monthly phone conversations. It\u2019s the same issue that dominated our date nights as we were raising our children. Barbara and I would go out for a date on Sunday nights. It started out to be a romantic date, but it ended up being the President and the Vice President of the Rainey family getting together and pulling out our schedules and looking at how we were going to manage this thing called ministry, life, family, and marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do not know of another subject that caused more conflict in my marriage than those date nights, battling out the priorities of this little fledgling family that was starting. This is one of the unseen battles that can take you and me out of the race. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not nearly as sexy as some of the others\u2014it\u2019s a private one. It is the relentless pace of life and making choices that represent this Book. Ephesians 5:15 exhorts us, \u201cLook carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.\u201d Deadlines, emergencies, over commitments, pressure all relentlessly create a fatigue that can leave us vulnerable to the other traps. Are you with me?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to quickly go through the wisdom of 45 years in ministry of battling this assault. I would encourage you to write these down. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one: Pray for and seek God for wisdom. James 1:2-8 commands us to ask God for wisdom when we face various trials. Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living. You know where I learned that? Israel. I paid $399 and went to Israel with Bruce Waltke. Some of the professors know him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBruce taught Old Testament. It was one of the most fierce courses to pass out of anything here at Dallas Seminary. As we were going through the land of Israel, he was quoting from his photographic memory, translating from Aramaic, to some other language, to English\u2014and spouting off all these things. Finally, by the end of the trip\u2014I\u2019m just a country boy from southwest Missouri. I was impressed at this professor\u2014I said, \u201cDr. Waltke, what is it like to be a genius?\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cThese Arab guys are threatened by you because you know more about their country than they do, and they live here\u2014and they grew up here. They\u2019re professionals.\u201d This absolutely transformed my decision-making\u2014he said, \u201cAh, Dennis, back at the seminary, knowledge divides, but wisdom edifies.\u201d He said, \u201cAs professors, we are battling this knowledge deal, and it becomes an ego-deal. It can divide us\u2014but wisdom,\u201d he said, \u201cis skill in everyday living\u2014godly skill in everyday living.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to handle this terrorist attack, you\u2019ve got to have wisdom from on high\u2014godly skill\u2014 godly application from the Scripture. Abiding in Christ\u2014abiding in the Word\u2014walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. You can\u2019t drop your armor for a moment! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, listen carefully to your spouse, if you\u2019re married\u2014or have a couple of best friends, if you\u2019re single\u2014that you can bounce ideas off and get some alignment. Barbara\u2014for me\u2014is a gift from God. She\u2019s a woman, and 42 years of marriage has taught me, she is different\u2014<em>really<\/em> different. Different isn\u2019t wrong\u2014it\u2019s just different\u2014but in the differences, is the gift. She processes change differently than I do. She\u2019s slower. I\u2019m faster. She adds different perspectives\u2014different values. More than once, she saw things that I didn\u2019t. She sees things that I don\u2019t. As her husband, I must value, embrace, and listen\u2014listen, listen\u2014to her counsel. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext point: because I have a tendency to overschedule and say, \u201cYes,\u201d to too many things\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I instituted a boundary to protect me from me. Anybody else suffer from that in here? Type-A personalities? I don\u2019t make\u2014here\u2019s the boundary\u2014I don\u2019t make a commitment or take a speaking engagement without first talking to Barbara. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you, there was a time there where, if you could get me on the phone, you got me. Why? Because I\u2019m in the ministry to help people! How am I going to turn my back on a need? But I have found it is tremendously liberating to say, \u201cYou know, let me talk to my wife about that first.\u201d Then, we\u2019d have a date, and we\u2019d argue about it. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one that has really been good: Take an annual inventory that monitors your commitments. Look back over your calendar from the past 12 months\u2014take a year at a time\u2014and total up the number of days you traveled\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014number of days you were away from your kids, away from your spouse, number of nights gone during the week\u2014and take a look at it. It\u2019s revealing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, take a look at the year you have in front of you. Total up the number of days traveling; number of days away from the kids, number of days away from each other, number of nights gone each week. If you leave no margin, you are setting yourself up to fail where it matters most\u2014in your private life, and in your marriage and family. If you\u2019re married, determine together your margins that you need to set together and your limits as a family. Resist the temptation to schedule to the edge\u2014to the brink. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNext point: Learn the power of the word, \u201cNo.\u201d Say, \u201cNo\u201d to something every day\u2014even if it\u2019s a tree. Just walk up to it and say, \u201cNo\u201d\u2014just to stay in practice. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen to me\u2014too many women and men find that their success <em>in<\/em> ministry can be the demise of their ministry because, once you build it, then you\u2019ve got to feed it. You determine you\u2019ve out-punted your coverage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinal point: Schedule defensively. Determine together what seasons or months during the year are most difficult for you\u2014as a single person, as a married person, as a family\u2014and begin to protect those months in advance. For us, two months were the worst. What do you think they were, raising a family? December and May. We found if we could protect those, it could build an island of clarity. One reminder here\u2014to say that you don\u2019t have time is not really a statement of fact. It is a statement of value\u2014of what you want to invest in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPsalm 101 is a great passage that has helped keep me and helped me in my journey to holiness. 101, verses 1-4, \u201cI will sing of the steadfast love and justice. To You, O Lord, I will make music. I will ponder the way that is blameless. O, when will You come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house. I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away. It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall be far from me. I will know nothing of evil.\u201d What a great exhortation! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tC.H. Spurgeon, when speaking of evil, said, \u201cOf the two evils, choose neither.\u201d [Laughter] I want to show you what evil does to a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a pastor from Oklahoma City. This is from the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series that we\u2019ve done in an effort to challenge men to step up and step away from pornography. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Stepping Up<\/em>]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Found a magazine under my dad\u2019s bed\u2014and I hated myself\u2014but the moment I saw it, my heart started beating fast, overwhelmed with curiosity. That\u2019s where the struggle\u2014that\u2019s where it started. Because I didn\u2019t have a relationship with the Lord, it made it very easy for me to feed this new thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a sophomore\u2014I was 19 years old. I started college pretty early. A girl invited me to Campus Crusade. They were trying to reach me for Jesus, and it just started to come together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would love to say that everything changed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He had crooked teeth, and he did not dress well. So, that really wasn\u2019t it. \u201cWhat are you going to do after college?\u201d He said, \u201cI\u2019m thinking about going to seminary.\u201d That was like the moment that I thought, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got to\u2014something is going to happen here\u2014I really like him.\u201d <br><br><strong>Chris: <\/strong>Marriage is one of those crazy things that you have all of these ideals of what it is supposed to be like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>You know, the first year was dreadful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>Wow! Is this really\u2014is it going to be this hard? It becomes very easy to then go look at magazines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>I do remember a couple of occasions where I came home from work or something, and I would walk in. There was an image there that he couldn\u2019t get off the screen fast enough. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>So, it went from looking at images to chatting; having an interaction with this girl. She said, \u201cYou want to meet?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will never forget driving home. I had broken my promise. I can never go back and say that I kept my vow. I hated myself. I hated what I was doing to the name of Christ. That led to about a two-and-a-half year period of time, where I was physically unfaithful to my wife. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>I just assumed that my husband\u2014my worship leader\/youth pastor husband, was walking in full integrity. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>A lot of my walk with God was a show. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met Craig Groeschel, who is the senior pastor at Life Church. A year later, he called me up. The idea of moving to Oklahoma City was not appealing at all, but I legitimately thought that this was God\u2019s do-over for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m sitting in a staff meeting, and Craig made a statement. He said, \u201cOur private lives are what give us the opportunity to minister publicly.\u201d <br><br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>That Tuesday morning, February 19, 2002, the door opens\u2014at like 9:30 in the morning. I come around the corner, and he says--\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>\u201cHoney, we\u2019ve got to talk.\u201d <br><br><strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He just starts telling me the most awful things you can ever imagine hearing from your spouse. One minute, I\u2019m unpacking boxes and 60 seconds later, I am wanting to die. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>I felt that\u2014at the time\u2014there is no other way than to get completely honest. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy: <\/strong>He looked at me, and he said, \u201cI know you\u2019ll never trust me again.\u201d He said, \u201cBut if you\u2019ll let me, I\u2019ll spend the rest of my life trying to earn it back.\u201d That was ten years ago. Nothing is off-limits for me. His life is an open book. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, thankfully\u2014because of that\u2014God has allowed me to have trust in a man again that I never thought I would. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris: <\/strong>I am, to this day, completely free. I am not fixed, but I am not the same guy. God has set me free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End Audio Excerpt]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It\u2019s quite a story. He confessed his sin in front of the whole church, lost his job, kept going to church there. They took away every screen that he had. I believe it was two\u2014or two-and-a-half to three\u2014years later, he was rehired to minister. It\u2019s a picture of redemption and God\u2019s grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019re stepping into the middle of a message that you shared recently with students at Dallas Theological Seminary. As you said, it was quiet on this particular day, when you were talking about this particular issue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you, Bob, pornography is really harming boys, young men, and men. It\u2019s preying\u2014it\u2019s predatory. It is aggressively coming after our sons, our grandsons, our husbands, our fathers. I just want to encourage a listener right now\u2014Don\u2019t merely be a hearer only. If you\u2019ve got a problem with this, find a way to come clean. Find another man to confess to. Then, ultimately, go to your spouse\u2014your bride\u2014and ask for forgiveness there. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this may be the number-one addiction in America. It\u2019s far more lethal, I think, than drugs or alcohol. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; you shared with your audience at Dallas Seminary the story of Chris and Cindy Beall\u2014the video from <em>Stepping Up<\/em> which\u2014by the way\u2014if our listeners would like to see the video, it\u2019s online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention that Chris and Cindy are going to be guests on <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>at the end of August, so we\u2019ll get an update on their story here coming up in a little more than a month. But, again, you can see the video when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had to think, as I listened to you, Dennis, about Chapter One in your new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters<\/em>, where you say one of the key choices all of us have to make is the choice to seek God, not sin. That\u2019s the daily issue for each one of us. Are we going to go God\u2019s direction, or are we going to be led by our flesh and wind up in sin that leads, ultimately, to destruction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe book I\u2019m talking about is brand-new. It\u2019s called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters: Seven Decisions You\u2019ll Never Regret.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe think this is a book you\u2019ll want to share with others. Again, it\u2019s called <em>Choosing a Life That Matters: Seven Decisions You\u2019ll Never Regret,<\/em> from Dennis Rainey. You can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information about Dennis Rainey\u2019s new book, <em>Choosing a Life That Matters.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, when we tackle subjects on this program like the subject you tackled today\u2014the subject of pornography\u2014the reason to address that is because this is where real life is lived. This is the kind of stuff that couples tell us\u2014 families tell us\u2014these are the issues\u2014that are coming up in their home\u2014the issues they need help with. Our goal at FamilyLife is to provide practical, Biblical, honest, transparent, real-life help and hope for marriages and families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to effectively develop godly families, and we\u2019re grateful to those of you who are not only regular listeners to this program, but those of you who help make this program possible for everyone else\u2014those of you who donate in support of this ministry. You are the ones who provide <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for tens of thousands of people all around the world who are tuning in each day to listen both on local radio, on the internet, through our mobile app. More people are listening in more ways than ever before\u2014and we\u2019re grateful to you for helping to make that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a long-time listener, but you\u2019ve never supported this ministry, how about making today the day you make your first donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>? We\u2019d love to have you join the team. You can donate easily online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and donate over the phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d prefer, you can mail your donation to us. Our mailing address is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear your advice to young men on how to get free from the snare of pornography and other issues\u2014other temptations we face in marriage. That comes up tomorrow. Hope our listeners can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304610"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304610"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304610"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304610"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}