{"id":304594,"date":"2017-07-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t\/"},"modified":"2017-07-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-07-17T15:00:00","slug":"how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>guest: Ann Wilson, Barbara Hughes, Robert Lewis | Series: 25 Years of Radio: A Wife&#8217;s Role | Did you know that a key ingredient to respecting your husband is humility? Learn why a wife&#8217;s respect is so critical in the growth of a husband from Robert Lewis, Ann Wilson, and Barbara Hughes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Did you know that a key ingredient to respecting your husband is humility? Learn why from Robert Lewis, Ann Wilson, and Barbara Hughes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:25:01","filesize":"22.91M","filesize_raw":"24020112","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805,2862,2831],"tags":[6279,4923,6277,6278],"podcast_series":[8221],"cwp_profile":[3554,9462,3461],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304594","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-understanding-differences","category-wives","tag-gender-roles","tag-wife","tag-wife-responsibilities","tag-women-roles","podcast_series-25-years-of-radio-a-wifes-role","cwp_profile-ann-wilson","cwp_profile-barbara-hughes","cwp_profile-robert-lewis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304594\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304594\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fKjbdIYhab\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t\/\">How Do You Spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-do-you-spell-r-e-s-p-e-c-t\/embed\/#?secret=fKjbdIYhab\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How Do You Spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fKjbdIYhab\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ann Wilson remembers the time when her husband\u2014Dave\u2014told her he didn\u2019t feel like he was getting the support from her that he needed as a husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So, he says, \u201cI played college football, so every Saturday I h\u2014\u201d he was a quarterback\u2014\u201cI had a stadium of people like, \u2018Dave Wilson is the man! Yes! Yes!\u2019\u201d He said, \u201cThen, we are dating, and we meet you; and you\u2019re saying to us, \u201cYou are the man!\u201d and you\u2019re applauding, \u2018Yes!\u00a0 Yes!\u2019\u201d and he goes, \u201cThen, we get married\u2014and it feels like we walk in the door of our homes and all we hear is,\u2018BOOOO!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, July 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would your husband say he\u2019s getting the support he needs from you as his wife? We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the lessons that we\u2019ve learned over the years\u2014in fact, you learned this early on when we started doing our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways\u2014if you\u2019re going to talk to husbands and wives about marriage, you need to talk to them about the unique assignment that God has given to the men\u2014and the unique assignment that God has given to the women. And it\u2019s probably best\u2014if you\u2019re going to talk to the women about their assignment\u2014that you have somebody other than the men speakers talking about the woman\u2019s assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But you and I could do it. We could easily tell all the wives what they need to be doing; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We could do it if we wore protective gear. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But we have my wife Barbara with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, sweetheart\u2014back by popular demand. I have a lot of listeners who come up and say, \u201cI really like it when Barbara\u2019s\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: \u201c<\/strong>\u2014on the broadcast.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I hear it all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t quite read between the lines of saying, \u201cThey don\u2019t really like it.\u201d\u00a0 Anyway, welcome back, sweetie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Since we are going to be revisiting the last 25 years today\u2014listening back to some of the things we\u2019ve heard about a wife\u2019s responsibility in marriage\u2014we thought it would be good to have you here to give us some cover; okay? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We actually addressed this subject very early on with a guest\u2014a male\u2014talking about a wife\u2019s responsibility. He was\u2014he was your pastor at the time; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was\u2014Robert Lewis\u2014pastor of Fellowship Bible Church here in Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014founder of Men\u2019s Fraternity\u2014and really a very insightful Bible teacher\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014spoke to women about what it means to respect your husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He had written a book called, <em>Rocking the Roles<\/em>. Barbara, I remember reading that book and thinking, \u201cThis is insightful.\u201d It was putting words to things that I felt instinctively but couldn\u2019t put words to myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, he did a really great job helping men and women understand those differences and why we each have different assignments in marriage. It was helpful for women, as well as men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is what he said as he spoke to an audience about why it\u2019s so important\u2014from a husband\u2019s perspective\u2014for a wife to be the responder in the relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned after 35 years of marriage. You see, in a marriage, a man has a unique opportunity to experience something in his heart and in his life\u2014whether he knew it or not when he first got married\u2014that really, he\u2019s always longing for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn many ways, he will find\u2014if it ever happens to him\u2014he will find that in many ways this is the crowning achievement of his manhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt becomes a reward\u2014the ultimate affirmation\u2014and it can only, really, be given by that one somebody who has examined his life up close and personal, like no other\u2014the one person who really knows him\u2014the one person who is experienced him in the crucible of a raw and honest life in all kinds of innumerable fronts. She saw him as he really is\u2014a lot\u2014and yet\u2014from all those vantage points\u2014there comes a time in their marriage where she is able to reflect back to him what he has longed for all his life\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that is that he\u2019s a really good man\u2014respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs it grows in her face through the years, the soul of his masculine heart comes together in happiness like he\u2019s never known\u2014because he did it. He came through with a woman. That\u2019s what every man longs for in his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That is Dr. Robert Lewis talking about what it is that all of us as husbands\u2014behind the scenes\u2014I don\u2019t think we articulate or verbalize it very often\u2014but it\u2019s part of what we\u2019re longing for in a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I like the way that Robert expressed that\u2014that only one woman on the planet who is uniquely knowledgeable about that man that can truly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014make the affirmation, be able to respect him as he really is\u2014and communicate that to him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, how long into marriage did it take before you understood this power\u2014and this ability\u2014that you have to minister to Dennis like nobody else can minister to him? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, I think I learned some of it early on\u2014but I think I took many, many years\u2014even decades\u2014to really, fully understand it because I think it\u2019s so\u2014well, it\u2019s not so different than what we are\u2014but what a man needs is different than what a woman needs. So, to think like he thinks and to understand his need takes time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, when we first got married, I remember I would go and sit and listen to Dennis speak. After he left the stage, people would say things but I learned quickly that he really only wanted to know what I thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What I said mattered more than what all the other people said. That has continued to be true throughout the years of our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was my first glimpse into the need for respect from me more than anybody else. That\u2019s grown through the years\u2014and I\u2019ve understood it more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not just when he says things publicly but it\u2019s when he leads at home or when he makes decisions. What I think about that and my affirmation for his labor on my behalf\u2014his labor on behalf of the family\u2014his decisions he\u2019s making because he loves us and cares for us\u2014when I affirm those, that matters as much as when I affirm him publicly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, there\u2019s a great illustration that comes out of a conversation we had with Nina Roesner who wrote a book called <em>The Respect Dare<\/em>. It\u2019s how she learned this principle of not trying to control her husband and every decision he was making, but giving him some leeway. It was really wisdom she got from her mother-in-law. Listen to how she tells the story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina: <\/strong>Before I went back to work part-time\u2014and I had this great situation workwise\u2014I could work in the evenings, and Jim would be home with the baby. So, I went to a very, very small part-time job that I\u2019d been doing full-time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, before I went back, his mom called me. She said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give you a lot of advice, but I\u2019m going to give you this one: Whatever he does with the baby while you\u2019re at work is good if he\u2019s alive when you come home.\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cWhat?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cNo, you just have to let him parent. Otherwise, he will be a distant dad. He will not engage.\u201d I went, \u201cOkay. What does that mean?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I went back to work, and I forgot something. I came home, and Jim had the baby in the highchair\u2014there were cookies. I thought, \u201cOh!\u201d I almost said something, but I didn\u2019t. I left, I came back, and I wanted to just control and go,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re not doing that right\u201d\u2014but I didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I came home and I said, \u201cSo, how\u2019d it go?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou know it was really great. He\u2019s so much fun. We did this. We did that. He didn\u2019t eat much. I gave him some cookies while I was making my own dinner. I probably won\u2019t do that next time. I\u2019ll probably just go ahead and feed him first. Then, I\u2019ll make my supper after he\u2019s taken care of.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went, \u201cOh! Thank You, God!\u201d I didn\u2019t have to say anything\u2014but I knew that that was one of those times that if I criticized how he was doing it and went diapering\u2014all those things\u2014making him feel like a failure\u2014he wouldn\u2019t want to engage and keep going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I love that story, and one of the reasons I love it is because Nina was really going against her own instinct in the moment\u2014her own impulse. With the advice she had got from her mother-in-law she said, \u201cThere is a bigger issue at play here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It\u2019s really cooperating with God\u2019s design. It\u2019s cooperating with what He made us to do as women. God has created this partnership\u2014this symbiosis\u2014between a man and a woman where my greatest privilege is to work on God\u2019s behalf to build him up and by doing that for each other\u2014we both become who God meant for us to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, that\u2019s not always your first impulse; is it? [Laughter]\u00a0 Why did you laugh like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course, it\u2019s her first impulse!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Why would you think otherwise? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, because the husband is not always giving you things to respect him for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean the reality is the woman who knows me best\u2014huh?\u2014she loves me most because she puts up with a lot of failures that I\u2019ve made. That\u2019s why I laugh, not at her wrong response. It\u2019s like\u2014\u201cWow! This is the most intimate relationship of any on the planet.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember years ago we were interviewing Elisabeth Elliot, and she told the story about a spot on somebody\u2019s white shirt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe saw an ink spot on the shirt. She said, \u201cNow, that ink spot probably covers less than one percent of the white shirt\u2014but when you see it, that\u2019s what your eye is drawn to\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s all you see. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>\u2014and it\u2019s all you see. Nobody comes along and says, \u2018The rest of that shirt looks great.\u2019 All they say is, \u2018You\u2019ve got a big ink spot right there in the middle of your shirt.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI realized, as a wife, that my eye gets drawn to the imperfections\u2014to the flaws\u2014and I lose sight of the good qualities in my husband.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of our colleagues, Ann Wilson, who\u2014she and her husband Dave have spoken\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. She talked about learning this lesson and how she found she had to curb some of her own critical impulses and how she talked about her husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Dave starts\u2014he starts getting into this\u2014and he\u2019s speaking to all these women: \u201cLadies, I want you to know what it\u2019s like to be a man. You see, as little boys\u2014here\u2019s what happens\u2014we grow up, and we usually have our moms\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe grew up in a single\u2014his mom raised him as a single mom\u2014\u201cand my mom was cheering for me like\u2014\u2018Good job, David! Good job.\u2019 I liked that. Little boys are always saying, \u2018Mom, watch!\u00a0 Watch!\u2019 and you moms are always saying, \u2018Good! Way to go! Good job!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThen, we get older as guys, and we go into middle school and high school and elementary school. We usually start to find what we\u2019re good in, and there is usually someone along the line\u2014a teacher, a coach, or something\u2014that we\u2019re good at. We start hearing other people applaud for us\u2014\u2018Yes! Good job! You\u2019re the man!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019d never heard Dave say any of this before. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhoa! Look at this. This is some new stuff. This is good.\u201d [Laughter] So, he says, \u201cAnd I played college football. So, every Saturday, I had\u2014\u201d \u2014and he was a quarterback\u2014\u201cI had a stadium of people like, \u2018Dave Wilson is the man! Yes! Yes!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cThen we are dating, and we meet you. You\u2019re saying to us, \u2018You are the man!\u00a0 You are the man!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2018Out of all the men in the universe I choose you.\u2019 You\u2019re applauding\u2014\u2018Yes!\u00a0 Yes!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes\u2014\u201cAnd then, we get married.\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m over here in the chair like\u2014\u201cWhere are we going with this now?\u201d He goes, \u201cWe get married and it feels like we walk in the door of our homes, and all we hear is\u2014\u2018BOOOO!\u00a0 BOOOO!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 He looks at me\u2014at this point\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d Then he feels really bad. He\u2019s like, \u201cOh!\u201d We haven\u2019t really talked about this. I\u2019m clueless\u2014clueless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we kind of get in this fight right there. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat do you mean I boo? I\u2019m not booing you.\u201d It was terrible\u2014like so terrible. So, we get in the car. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat the heck was that about?!\u201d So, I said, \u201cYou feel like I boo you?\u201d He goes\u2014\u201cYes,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cI feel like you\u2019re continually disappointed. I feel like I do something, and you\u2019re always critiquing it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, then, I get really defensive and I said, \u201cI am helping you! I\u2014\u201d \u2014because my heart is really, truly\u2014it\u2019s not to harm him\u2014I said, \u201cHoney, I\u2019m telling you that people are not speaking the truth to you\u2014and I will.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cI am a gift to you; right? Don\u2019t you feel like that? I am your gift.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s like, \u201cAll I hear is, \u2018Boo!\u2019\u201d \u2014which then takes me on this journey of getting in the Word. I come across Proverbs 21:9\u2014and it says, \u201cIt\u2019s better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright, I live in Michigan so I\u2019m imagining\u2014when I read this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the middle of winter. I\u2019m imagining Dave on the corner of my roof in the snow shuttering cold\u2014and it\u2019s better for him to be out there than in the house with me. Oh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Most men won\u2019t begin to articulate it as clearly as Dave did to his wife Ann, but they\u2019re really looking for a wife who will cheer him on in the midst of life. Life is discouraging. There are a lot of things that just beat the stuffing out of men today. I know the same thing happens to women\u2014but today we\u2019re talking to the ladies about how to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014how to respect your husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think what happens is exactly what Ann said\u2014we get married, and we know this guy is\u2014we think he\u2019s the greatest\u2014we chose him because we think he\u2019s the greatest\u2014and then we see that he has flaws. So\u2014as she said\u2014we think we\u2019re helping. We think we\u2019re pointing out things that he\u2019s oblivious to\u2014and if we don\u2019t say something, he\u2019s not going to know, therefore, this is how I help. I\u2019m going to help him see that he needs to fix\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and change and do whatever\u2014but as he hears it, he doesn\u2019t hear it as help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a lesson that I think every wife who has ever lived has had to learn because we confuse helping with correcting\u2014and they are not the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember our friend Robyn McKelvy who was a high school cheerleader\u2014she said, \u201cOur team was terrible\u201d but she said, \u201cIn the fourth quarter, when we were down by 20 points in the football game\u201d she said \u201cwe\u2019re still out there going, \u2018You can do it! Go, guys! Go!\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cEvery wife needs to become the family cheerleader and say, \u2018Even when the team is down, we can do it!\u2019 Rather than, \u2018Oh, you messed up here again. Oh, you messed up there. You\u2019re always messing up; aren\u2019t you?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had Kent and Barbara Hughes\u2014and Kent was the pastor at the College Church in Wheaton, Illinois for a number of years\u2014well respected Bible teacher\u2014and they were here a number of years ago. They shared a story about a time in their marriage when Kent was struggling and his wife Barbara\u2019s word were powerful in his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara H: <\/strong>We were in a struggling church, and he was discouraged. He was down in the mouth\u2014let\u2019s put it that way. He just\u2014I think he was thinking thoughts that I had no idea\u2014but I did know from what he did express\u2014what I could see, that he was depressed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened is one night he finally opened up to me and started to tell me what was on his mind. I kept trying to encourage him and say, \u201cWell, think of Noah. He preached for 120 years to people without a single convert\u201d\u2014which was hardly encouraging, but I was trying. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You may have a life like Noah, honey; wouldn\u2019t that be great? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your ministry is going to go down in history. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara H: <\/strong>Finally, it came to the point where he said\u2014the most horrible thing really\u2014he said\u2014that he questioned whether or not God was good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cIf God has not equipped me to do what He\u2019s called me to do, God isn\u2019t good.\u201d I remember sitting there thinking\u2014you know I was praying all the time because I knew this was a crisis moment for my husband. He said, \u201cBarbara, what am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cKent, I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re going to do; but for tonight\u2014just for tonight\u2014hang on to my faith because I believe God is good, and I believe He\u2019s got a purpose for what we\u2019re going through\u2014so hang on to my faith. I have enough for both of us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the end, I had to go and look and say, \u201cOkay, Lord, what is my goal to be\u2014as a wife\u2014in this role as helper?\u201d Helper. I realized as I prayed and thought about it\u2014I thought, \u201cI want to one day hear God say, \u2018Well done, good and faithful servant.\u2019\u201d It still makes me cry because I realized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that we are getting old\u2014we getting older\u2014and it won\u2019t be long until we see the face of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am not sorry that I have lived my life as his helper, and I see that the Holy Spirit is called the helper. It isn\u2019t demeaning\u2014it\u2019s divine\u2014it\u2019s wonderful. Jesus showed us how to do that\u2014us women\u2014when He kept on entrusting Himself to the One who judges justly\u2014it says in 1 Peter 2 the last verse\u2014or the second to the next verse. Then, the very next verse says, \u201cWives, in the same way, be submissive yourself to your husbands.\u201d It\u2019s living as Jesus did\u2014to keep on entrusting your souls to the One who judges justly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not sorry that I\u2019ve lived my life that way. It\u2019s exciting. I can\u2019t wait to hear those words because my husband has been a good and faithful servant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: That\u2019s Barbara Hughes with her husband Kent with the right perspective\u2014don\u2019t you think\u2014on what it means to be a helper? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s excellent. One of the things that Barbara has done really well in fulfilling this command to respect your husband is she has reminded me of the truth about myself also, from what the Bible says about me\u2014that I do have a mission from God. She reminds me that\u2014\u201cYes, you are being faithful, and God will bring fruit at a point,\u201d but she\u2019s also believed in me and expressed that belief consistently in more than 44 years of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, there can be other people who can encourage Dennis\u2014but nobody can encourage him the way you can encourage him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, and as he was talking about what I have done, I remember times when I\u2019ve looked at him and I\u2019ve said, \u201cYou know, everybody may walk away,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201ceverybody may quit following, but I\u2019m not going anywhere. So, it may just be you and me\u2014but that\u2019s okay because I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think that kind of reminder that\u2014\u201cI\u2019m in this for life. I\u2019m in it with you. It started out just the two of us. It may just be the two of us again someday, but that\u2019s okay\u201d\u2014I think that is fuel. I think that helps\u2014it helps me know that he\u2019s not going to leave me either; but when I say that to him, I think he feels like\u2014\u201cOkay, it\u2019s going to be okay because at least I\u2019ve got her. She\u2019s not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have, over the years, offered a lot of wise counsel to your daughters and daughters-in-law about living out their assignment as a wife\u2014how they can encourage and support their husbands. Last year, you took some of that counsel and put it in a book called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>. There have been tens of thousands of people who have purchased copies of that book and have told us how valuable it has been for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, a lot of people have been getting the book as a wedding gift to give to a new bride. I\u2019ll just mention that we\u2019ve got copies of the book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If our listeners are interested in Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>, you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place your order over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; the phone number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know these subjects are subjects we are passionate about here at FamilyLife. We are committed to providing listeners with practical wisdom and fresh hope for your marriage. We recognize that all of us need to be more intentional\u2014more biblically intentional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014when it comes to strengthening our marriage relationship and our relationship with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that we have listeners who share that passion with us. They recognize how vitally important these relationships are. The reason I know that is because I\u2019ve met some of you, and I know many of you are Legacy Partners\u2014folks who support this ministry on a monthly basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who, along with giving to your local church\u2014which ought to be your first giving priority\u2014you have set aside funds every month to help the reach of FamilyLife expand to reach more husbands, wives, moms, and dads in this country and all around the world. And we\u2019re grateful to be in partnership with you as Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who are longtime listeners\u2014if God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in your life and you\u2019ve ever thought about becoming a Legacy Partner\u2014we\u2019d love to have you join the team today. You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or call and say,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d\u00a0 Call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ve got more wise counsel for wives about supporting their husbands\u2014and we\u2019re going to talk about submission tomorrow as well\u2014what it is\u2014and what it isn\u2019t. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:25:01"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.91M"],"filesize_raw":["24020112"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304594.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304594.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you know that a key ingredient to respecting your husband is humility? Learn why from Robert Lewis, Ann Wilson, and Barbara Hughes.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ann Wilson remembers the time when her husband\u2014Dave\u2014told her he didn\u2019t feel like he was getting the support from her that he needed as a husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>So, he says, \u201cI played college football, so every Saturday I h\u2014\u201d he was a quarterback\u2014\u201cI had a stadium of people like, \u2018Dave Wilson is the man! Yes! Yes!\u2019\u201d He said, \u201cThen, we are dating, and we meet you; and you\u2019re saying to us, \u201cYou are the man!\u201d and you\u2019re applauding, \u2018Yes!\u00a0 Yes!\u2019\u201d and he goes, \u201cThen, we get married\u2014and it feels like we walk in the door of our homes and all we hear is,\u2018BOOOO!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, July 17<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would your husband say he\u2019s getting the support he needs from you as his wife? We\u2019ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the lessons that we\u2019ve learned over the years\u2014in fact, you learned this early on when we started doing our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways\u2014if you\u2019re going to talk to husbands and wives about marriage, you need to talk to them about the unique assignment that God has given to the men\u2014and the unique assignment that God has given to the women. And it\u2019s probably best\u2014if you\u2019re going to talk to the women about their assignment\u2014that you have somebody other than the men speakers talking about the woman\u2019s assignment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But you and I could do it. We could easily tell all the wives what they need to be doing; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>We could do it if we wore protective gear. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>But we have my wife Barbara with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome back, sweetheart\u2014back by popular demand. I have a lot of listeners who come up and say, \u201cI really like it when Barbara\u2019s\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: \u201c<\/strong>\u2014on the broadcast.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I hear it all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t quite read between the lines of saying, \u201cThey don\u2019t really like it.\u201d\u00a0 Anyway, welcome back, sweetie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong> Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Since we are going to be revisiting the last 25 years today\u2014listening back to some of the things we\u2019ve heard about a wife\u2019s responsibility in marriage\u2014we thought it would be good to have you here to give us some cover; okay? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We actually addressed this subject very early on with a guest\u2014a male\u2014talking about a wife\u2019s responsibility. He was\u2014he was your pastor at the time; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>He was\u2014Robert Lewis\u2014pastor of Fellowship Bible Church here in Little Rock, Arkansas\u2014founder of Men\u2019s Fraternity\u2014and really a very insightful Bible teacher\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014spoke to women about what it means to respect your husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He had written a book called, <em>Rocking the Roles<\/em>. Barbara, I remember reading that book and thinking, \u201cThis is insightful.\u201d It was putting words to things that I felt instinctively but couldn\u2019t put words to myself. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, he did a really great job helping men and women understand those differences and why we each have different assignments in marriage. It was helpful for women, as well as men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is what he said as he spoke to an audience about why it\u2019s so important\u2014from a husband\u2019s perspective\u2014for a wife to be the responder in the relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robert: <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned after 35 years of marriage. You see, in a marriage, a man has a unique opportunity to experience something in his heart and in his life\u2014whether he knew it or not when he first got married\u2014that really, he\u2019s always longing for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn many ways, he will find\u2014if it ever happens to him\u2014he will find that in many ways this is the crowning achievement of his manhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt becomes a reward\u2014the ultimate affirmation\u2014and it can only, really, be given by that one somebody who has examined his life up close and personal, like no other\u2014the one person who really knows him\u2014the one person who is experienced him in the crucible of a raw and honest life in all kinds of innumerable fronts. She saw him as he really is\u2014a lot\u2014and yet\u2014from all those vantage points\u2014there comes a time in their marriage where she is able to reflect back to him what he has longed for all his life\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and that is that he\u2019s a really good man\u2014respect. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs it grows in her face through the years, the soul of his masculine heart comes together in happiness like he\u2019s never known\u2014because he did it. He came through with a woman. That\u2019s what every man longs for in his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That is Dr. Robert Lewis talking about what it is that all of us as husbands\u2014behind the scenes\u2014I don\u2019t think we articulate or verbalize it very often\u2014but it\u2019s part of what we\u2019re longing for in a marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I like the way that Robert expressed that\u2014that only one woman on the planet who is uniquely knowledgeable about that man that can truly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014make the affirmation, be able to respect him as he really is\u2014and communicate that to him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, how long into marriage did it take before you understood this power\u2014and this ability\u2014that you have to minister to Dennis like nobody else can minister to him? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Well, I think I learned some of it early on\u2014but I think I took many, many years\u2014even decades\u2014to really, fully understand it because I think it\u2019s so\u2014well, it\u2019s not so different than what we are\u2014but what a man needs is different than what a woman needs. So, to think like he thinks and to understand his need takes time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor instance, when we first got married, I remember I would go and sit and listen to Dennis speak. After he left the stage, people would say things but I learned quickly that he really only wanted to know what I thought. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>What I said mattered more than what all the other people said. That has continued to be true throughout the years of our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was my first glimpse into the need for respect from me more than anybody else. That\u2019s grown through the years\u2014and I\u2019ve understood it more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not just when he says things publicly but it\u2019s when he leads at home or when he makes decisions. What I think about that and my affirmation for his labor on my behalf\u2014his labor on behalf of the family\u2014his decisions he\u2019s making because he loves us and cares for us\u2014when I affirm those, that matters as much as when I affirm him publicly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, there\u2019s a great illustration that comes out of a conversation we had with Nina Roesner who wrote a book called <em>The Respect Dare<\/em>. It\u2019s how she learned this principle of not trying to control her husband and every decision he was making, but giving him some leeway. It was really wisdom she got from her mother-in-law. Listen to how she tells the story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nina: <\/strong>Before I went back to work part-time\u2014and I had this great situation workwise\u2014I could work in the evenings, and Jim would be home with the baby. So, I went to a very, very small part-time job that I\u2019d been doing full-time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, before I went back, his mom called me. She said, \u201cI\u2019m not going to give you a lot of advice, but I\u2019m going to give you this one: Whatever he does with the baby while you\u2019re at work is good if he\u2019s alive when you come home.\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cWhat?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cNo, you just have to let him parent. Otherwise, he will be a distant dad. He will not engage.\u201d I went, \u201cOkay. What does that mean?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I went back to work, and I forgot something. I came home, and Jim had the baby in the highchair\u2014there were cookies. I thought, \u201cOh!\u201d I almost said something, but I didn\u2019t. I left, I came back, and I wanted to just control and go,\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re not doing that right\u201d\u2014but I didn\u2019t. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I came home and I said, \u201cSo, how\u2019d it go?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou know it was really great. He\u2019s so much fun. We did this. We did that. He didn\u2019t eat much. I gave him some cookies while I was making my own dinner. I probably won\u2019t do that next time. I\u2019ll probably just go ahead and feed him first. Then, I\u2019ll make my supper after he\u2019s taken care of.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went, \u201cOh! Thank You, God!\u201d I didn\u2019t have to say anything\u2014but I knew that that was one of those times that if I criticized how he was doing it and went diapering\u2014all those things\u2014making him feel like a failure\u2014he wouldn\u2019t want to engage and keep going. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I love that story, and one of the reasons I love it is because Nina was really going against her own instinct in the moment\u2014her own impulse. With the advice she had got from her mother-in-law she said, \u201cThere is a bigger issue at play here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>It\u2019s really cooperating with God\u2019s design. It\u2019s cooperating with what He made us to do as women. God has created this partnership\u2014this symbiosis\u2014between a man and a woman where my greatest privilege is to work on God\u2019s behalf to build him up and by doing that for each other\u2014we both become who God meant for us to be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, that\u2019s not always your first impulse; is it? [Laughter]\u00a0 Why did you laugh like that? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course, it\u2019s her first impulse!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Why would you think otherwise? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, because the husband is not always giving you things to respect him for. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s true. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I mean the reality is the woman who knows me best\u2014huh?\u2014she loves me most because she puts up with a lot of failures that I\u2019ve made. That\u2019s why I laugh, not at her wrong response. It\u2019s like\u2014\u201cWow! This is the most intimate relationship of any on the planet.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember years ago we were interviewing Elisabeth Elliot, and she told the story about a spot on somebody\u2019s white shirt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe saw an ink spot on the shirt. She said, \u201cNow, that ink spot probably covers less than one percent of the white shirt\u2014but when you see it, that\u2019s what your eye is drawn to\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>That\u2019s all you see. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: \u201c<\/strong>\u2014and it\u2019s all you see. Nobody comes along and says, \u2018The rest of that shirt looks great.\u2019 All they say is, \u2018You\u2019ve got a big ink spot right there in the middle of your shirt.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI realized, as a wife, that my eye gets drawn to the imperfections\u2014to the flaws\u2014and I lose sight of the good qualities in my husband.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, one of our colleagues, Ann Wilson, who\u2014she and her husband Dave have spoken\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways. She talked about learning this lesson and how she found she had to curb some of her own critical impulses and how she talked about her husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ann: <\/strong>Dave starts\u2014he starts getting into this\u2014and he\u2019s speaking to all these women: \u201cLadies, I want you to know what it\u2019s like to be a man. You see, as little boys\u2014here\u2019s what happens\u2014we grow up, and we usually have our moms\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe grew up in a single\u2014his mom raised him as a single mom\u2014\u201cand my mom was cheering for me like\u2014\u2018Good job, David! Good job.\u2019 I liked that. Little boys are always saying, \u2018Mom, watch!\u00a0 Watch!\u2019 and you moms are always saying, \u2018Good! Way to go! Good job!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThen, we get older as guys, and we go into middle school and high school and elementary school. We usually start to find what we\u2019re good in, and there is usually someone along the line\u2014a teacher, a coach, or something\u2014that we\u2019re good at. We start hearing other people applaud for us\u2014\u2018Yes! Good job! You\u2019re the man!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019d never heard Dave say any of this before. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhoa! Look at this. This is some new stuff. This is good.\u201d [Laughter] So, he says, \u201cAnd I played college football. So, every Saturday, I had\u2014\u201d \u2014and he was a quarterback\u2014\u201cI had a stadium of people like, \u2018Dave Wilson is the man! Yes! Yes!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cThen we are dating, and we meet you. You\u2019re saying to us, \u2018You are the man!\u00a0 You are the man!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u2018Out of all the men in the universe I choose you.\u2019 You\u2019re applauding\u2014\u2018Yes!\u00a0 Yes!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes\u2014\u201cAnd then, we get married.\u201d [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m over here in the chair like\u2014\u201cWhere are we going with this now?\u201d He goes, \u201cWe get married and it feels like we walk in the door of our homes, and all we hear is\u2014\u2018BOOOO!\u00a0 BOOOO!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 He looks at me\u2014at this point\u2014and I\u2019m like, \u201cWhat?!\u201d Then he feels really bad. He\u2019s like, \u201cOh!\u201d We haven\u2019t really talked about this. I\u2019m clueless\u2014clueless. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we kind of get in this fight right there. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat do you mean I boo? I\u2019m not booing you.\u201d It was terrible\u2014like so terrible. So, we get in the car. I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat the heck was that about?!\u201d So, I said, \u201cYou feel like I boo you?\u201d He goes\u2014\u201cYes,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cI feel like you\u2019re continually disappointed. I feel like I do something, and you\u2019re always critiquing it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, then, I get really defensive and I said, \u201cI am helping you! I\u2014\u201d \u2014because my heart is really, truly\u2014it\u2019s not to harm him\u2014I said, \u201cHoney, I\u2019m telling you that people are not speaking the truth to you\u2014and I will.\u201d [Laughter] \u201cI am a gift to you; right? Don\u2019t you feel like that? I am your gift.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s like, \u201cAll I hear is, \u2018Boo!\u2019\u201d \u2014which then takes me on this journey of getting in the Word. I come across Proverbs 21:9\u2014and it says, \u201cIt\u2019s better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlright, I live in Michigan so I\u2019m imagining\u2014when I read this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the middle of winter. I\u2019m imagining Dave on the corner of my roof in the snow shuttering cold\u2014and it\u2019s better for him to be out there than in the house with me. Oh!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Most men won\u2019t begin to articulate it as clearly as Dave did to his wife Ann, but they\u2019re really looking for a wife who will cheer him on in the midst of life. Life is discouraging. There are a lot of things that just beat the stuffing out of men today. I know the same thing happens to women\u2014but today we\u2019re talking to the ladies about how to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014how to respect your husband. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>I think what happens is exactly what Ann said\u2014we get married, and we know this guy is\u2014we think he\u2019s the greatest\u2014we chose him because we think he\u2019s the greatest\u2014and then we see that he has flaws. So\u2014as she said\u2014we think we\u2019re helping. We think we\u2019re pointing out things that he\u2019s oblivious to\u2014and if we don\u2019t say something, he\u2019s not going to know, therefore, this is how I help. I\u2019m going to help him see that he needs to fix\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and change and do whatever\u2014but as he hears it, he doesn\u2019t hear it as help. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a lesson that I think every wife who has ever lived has had to learn because we confuse helping with correcting\u2014and they are not the same thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>I remember our friend Robyn McKelvy who was a high school cheerleader\u2014she said, \u201cOur team was terrible\u201d but she said, \u201cIn the fourth quarter, when we were down by 20 points in the football game\u201d she said \u201cwe\u2019re still out there going, \u2018You can do it! Go, guys! Go!\u2019\u201d She said, \u201cEvery wife needs to become the family cheerleader and say, \u2018Even when the team is down, we can do it!\u2019 Rather than, \u2018Oh, you messed up here again. Oh, you messed up there. You\u2019re always messing up; aren\u2019t you?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is powerful. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had Kent and Barbara Hughes\u2014and Kent was the pastor at the College Church in Wheaton, Illinois for a number of years\u2014well respected Bible teacher\u2014and they were here a number of years ago. They shared a story about a time in their marriage when Kent was struggling and his wife Barbara\u2019s word were powerful in his life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara H: <\/strong>We were in a struggling church, and he was discouraged. He was down in the mouth\u2014let\u2019s put it that way. He just\u2014I think he was thinking thoughts that I had no idea\u2014but I did know from what he did express\u2014what I could see, that he was depressed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened is one night he finally opened up to me and started to tell me what was on his mind. I kept trying to encourage him and say, \u201cWell, think of Noah. He preached for 120 years to people without a single convert\u201d\u2014which was hardly encouraging, but I was trying. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You may have a life like Noah, honey; wouldn\u2019t that be great? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Your ministry is going to go down in history. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara H: <\/strong>Finally, it came to the point where he said\u2014the most horrible thing really\u2014he said\u2014that he questioned whether or not God was good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cIf God has not equipped me to do what He\u2019s called me to do, God isn\u2019t good.\u201d I remember sitting there thinking\u2014you know I was praying all the time because I knew this was a crisis moment for my husband. He said, \u201cBarbara, what am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cKent, I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re going to do; but for tonight\u2014just for tonight\u2014hang on to my faith because I believe God is good, and I believe He\u2019s got a purpose for what we\u2019re going through\u2014so hang on to my faith. I have enough for both of us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the end, I had to go and look and say, \u201cOkay, Lord, what is my goal to be\u2014as a wife\u2014in this role as helper?\u201d Helper. I realized as I prayed and thought about it\u2014I thought, \u201cI want to one day hear God say, \u2018Well done, good and faithful servant.\u2019\u201d It still makes me cry because I realized\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that we are getting old\u2014we getting older\u2014and it won\u2019t be long until we see the face of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am not sorry that I have lived my life as his helper, and I see that the Holy Spirit is called the helper. It isn\u2019t demeaning\u2014it\u2019s divine\u2014it\u2019s wonderful. Jesus showed us how to do that\u2014us women\u2014when He kept on entrusting Himself to the One who judges justly\u2014it says in 1 Peter 2 the last verse\u2014or the second to the next verse. Then, the very next verse says, \u201cWives, in the same way, be submissive yourself to your husbands.\u201d It\u2019s living as Jesus did\u2014to keep on entrusting your souls to the One who judges justly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not sorry that I\u2019ve lived my life that way. It\u2019s exciting. I can\u2019t wait to hear those words because my husband has been a good and faithful servant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>: That\u2019s Barbara Hughes with her husband Kent with the right perspective\u2014don\u2019t you think\u2014on what it means to be a helper? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it\u2019s excellent. One of the things that Barbara has done really well in fulfilling this command to respect your husband is she has reminded me of the truth about myself also, from what the Bible says about me\u2014that I do have a mission from God. She reminds me that\u2014\u201cYes, you are being faithful, and God will bring fruit at a point,\u201d but she\u2019s also believed in me and expressed that belief consistently in more than 44 years of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Barbara, there can be other people who can encourage Dennis\u2014but nobody can encourage him the way you can encourage him. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes, and as he was talking about what I have done, I remember times when I\u2019ve looked at him and I\u2019ve said, \u201cYou know, everybody may walk away,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201ceverybody may quit following, but I\u2019m not going anywhere. So, it may just be you and me\u2014but that\u2019s okay because I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think that kind of reminder that\u2014\u201cI\u2019m in this for life. I\u2019m in it with you. It started out just the two of us. It may just be the two of us again someday, but that\u2019s okay\u201d\u2014I think that is fuel. I think that helps\u2014it helps me know that he\u2019s not going to leave me either; but when I say that to him, I think he feels like\u2014\u201cOkay, it\u2019s going to be okay because at least I\u2019ve got her. She\u2019s not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You have, over the years, offered a lot of wise counsel to your daughters and daughters-in-law about living out their assignment as a wife\u2014how they can encourage and support their husbands. Last year, you took some of that counsel and put it in a book called <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>. There have been tens of thousands of people who have purchased copies of that book and have told us how valuable it has been for them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, a lot of people have been getting the book as a wedding gift to give to a new bride. I\u2019ll just mention that we\u2019ve got copies of the book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. If our listeners are interested in Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Letters to My Daughters<\/em>, you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place your order over the phone. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; the phone number is 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know these subjects are subjects we are passionate about here at FamilyLife. We are committed to providing listeners with practical wisdom and fresh hope for your marriage. We recognize that all of us need to be more intentional\u2014more biblically intentional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014when it comes to strengthening our marriage relationship and our relationship with our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that we have listeners who share that passion with us. They recognize how vitally important these relationships are. The reason I know that is because I\u2019ve met some of you, and I know many of you are Legacy Partners\u2014folks who support this ministry on a monthly basis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who, along with giving to your local church\u2014which ought to be your first giving priority\u2014you have set aside funds every month to help the reach of FamilyLife expand to reach more husbands, wives, moms, and dads in this country and all around the world. And we\u2019re grateful to be in partnership with you as Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who are longtime listeners\u2014if God has used the ministry of FamilyLife in your life and you\u2019ve ever thought about becoming a Legacy Partner\u2014we\u2019d love to have you join the team today. You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or call and say,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014\u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d\u00a0 Call 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019ve got more wise counsel for wives about supporting their husbands\u2014and we\u2019re going to talk about submission tomorrow as well\u2014what it is\u2014and what it isn\u2019t. I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304594"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304594"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304594"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304594"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}