{"id":304584,"date":"2017-07-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage\/"},"modified":"2017-07-10T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-07-10T15:00:00","slug":"the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Noble Purpose of Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis and Barbara Rainey share insight into 20 things they learned about marriage in their 44 years together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-10.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:03","filesize":"24.77M","filesize_raw":"25976146","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809,2805,2862],"tags":[2877,4283],"podcast_series":[8220],"cwp_profile":[3052,3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304584","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-understanding-differences","tag-marriage","tag-wisdom","podcast_series-20-marriage-lessons-from-44-years","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304584\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304584\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"v7JzmSj0Qt\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage\/\">The Noble Purpose of Your Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-noble-purpose-of-your-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=v7JzmSj0Qt\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Noble Purpose of Your Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"v7JzmSj0Qt\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis and Barbara Rainey share insight into 20 things they learned about marriage in their 44 years together.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-07-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Dennis and Barbara Rainey have learned a lot about marriage in the 44 years they have been husband and wife. One of the things they\u2019ve learned is how important it is to have a teachable heart and not a closed heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>A teachable heart is one that\u2019s open to faith \/ it is growing. A closed heart is one that has chosen unbelief. If you want your marriage to thrive\u2014and grow and become all that God intends for it to be\u2014you must maintain and cultivate a teachable heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, July 10<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll hear today a number of the things that Dennis and Barbara Rainey have learned about marriage in the last 44 years. Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Is the table rocking; or is it just me, Bob? It just feels like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It\u2019s you. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s back and forth. The ship is moving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Part of this is because what we\u2019re going to be listening to today is a message that you and Barbara shared with an audience that joined us this year on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage cruise. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just need to say, right up front here, that the cruise for next year is already sold out. Now, I should mention\u2014in past years, we\u2019ve had a waiting list. I think it\u2019s worked out to where 30\/40\/50 people who have been on the waiting list have actually wound up making it on the cruise because of cancellations that have come over time. So, if listeners are listening and they think, \u201cThat cruise sounds like something we\u2019d like to do in 2018, but I know they\u2019re sold out,\u201d they ought to get on the waiting list and see if their name gets called up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And if it doesn\u2019t get called up, I want to tell you we have\u2014what, Bob?\u201435\/40 <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways this fall\u2014starting in September all the way into early December\u2014that you can grab a weekend with your spouse and get away for what truly is, I think, one of the greatest and most important investments a newly-married couple can make, one who\u2019s been married 10\/15\/20 years or more\u201430\/40 years. It\u2019s a great weekend, and these are all over the country. You can go online to FamilyLifeToday.com and check out the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> at a location near you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; and the point is\u2014whether it\u2019s the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise \/ the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaway\u2014you need to be doing things that are going to build into your marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe message we\u2019re going to hear today is a message that you and Barbara shared with the audience onboard the cruise. Back when you first got married, you went to an older couple and you said, \u201cWhat\u2019s your best advice on marriage?\u201d and they told you to pray together as a couple every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it changed the course of our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis message is designed to be something similar to that\u2014kind of a smorgasbord message where\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; you don\u2019t have just one piece of advice, you wound up with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I have [almost two dozen]. You can pick and choose, like a smorgasbord, and decide what you want to apply in your marriage; but it\u2019s some of the most important lessons Barbara and I have learned from more than 44 years of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I think our listeners are going to benefit from just being reminded of the important things that we need to keep in mind as husbands and wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want you to view this message and kind of pull up a cup of coffee and listen as we talk about a journey that Barbara and I have had for 44 years. We pass this on to you so that by the time you finish this message each of you would find one of these principles to apply in your marriage as you move from this oasis of sorts \/ a floating oasis to go back to real life and find God giving you some tests.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 1: \u201cMarriage and family are about the glory of God, not me.\u201d You know, it\u2019s interesting\u2014the Bible begins with a marriage in Genesis \/ it ends with a celebration of a marriage of Christ, who is the husband, and the church, who is the bride, in Revelation. Throughout its pages, it tells the story of God wanting to pass down a godly legacy to future generations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I want you to catch in this last message\u2014if you haven\u2019t caught it, and it\u2019s been said by all of our speakers\u2014but if you haven\u2019t caught it, it\u2019s that your marriage is important to God\u2019s reputation on this planet. Now, He\u2019s not in heaven, wringing His hands, wondering if you\u2019ll get on the playing field and get in the real game or not; but in reality, your marriage is about something far more important than your happiness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt has nobility that is wrapped in the reflection of God\u2019s image to a planet that doesn\u2019t know Him. Your marriage\u2014in your neighborhood, in your kids\u2019 school, in your church, in your community\u2014is a part of God showing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGenesis 1, verses 26 through 28 just talks about some of the purposes of God. I\u2019ll mention them as we go through here. Verse 26 says, \u201cThen God said, \u2018Let Us make man in our image, after Our likeness.\u2019\u201d It says there God wants us to reflect His image\u2014show Him off\u2014His love, His mercy, His grace. Your marriage demonstrates that in its imperfection; but it goes on and says, \u201cAnd let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds of the heaven and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod made us, not merely to reflect His image, but to rule\u2014to rule together \/ have dominion together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, verse 27 says, \u201cSo God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them. And God blessed them and said to them, \u2018Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.\u2019\u201d That\u2019s the third purpose of your marriage\u2014to reproduce a godly legacy. You can do that by having children and you can do that by influencing and impacting people spiritually. Number 1: \u201cMarriage and family\u201d\u2014your marriage and family\u2014\u201care about the glory of God, not me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Number 2: \u201cYour marriage is taking place on a spiritual battlefield, not a romantic balcony.\u201d As you know, Satan attacked Adam and Eve in the very beginning in the garden. He came to Eve\u2014he told her a lie; she believed the lie; and we\u2019ve been living with that ever since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to read you a verse out of the Book of John. Jesus told us this, and I think it\u2019s important for us to remember that Jesus said this about Satan, our enemy. Jesus said, \u201cHe was a murderer from the very beginning.\u201d That was his intention\u2014he wanted to kill their marriage \/ he wanted to kill their relationship. \u201cSatan does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature for he is a liar and the father of lies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And realize that your marriage is taking place in a spiritual battlefield. You two need to get down and hunker down in the foxhole together and not be standing up in the midst of battle, lobbing grenades at each other; instead, lock arms and lock step together in a spiritual battle that God has for you to have dominion over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Number 3: \u201cYour spouse is not your enemy.\u201d Ephesians, Chapter 6, verse 12: \u201cFor our struggle is not against flesh and blood\u201d\u2014it\u2019s not against each other \/ it\u2019s not against other people\u2014\u201cbut it is against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause we\u2019re so visual, this is what we see; right? But out there, the Bible tells us, there\u2019s an unseen enemy. We can\u2019t see him with our eyes, but he\u2019s just as real as we are\u2014and he\u2019s attacking us. We need to remember, in order for our marriages to be strong: \u201cThis is not my enemy. My enemy is out there. I can\u2019t see him; but Jesus tells me he\u2019s the father of lies, and the Bible tells me that he\u2019s in heavenly places.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>We teach this in the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>. There are some couples who have to actually write on a three-by-five\u2014put this on their refrigerator: \u201cMy spouse is not my enemy,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014<em>never<\/em> your enemy. You\u2019re in a battle against unseen forces of evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber 4\u2014and you\u2019ve heard me say this, some of you, who have been here multiple times\u2014I think I mention this at every one of these cruises, because I think this is so absolutely essential. This next principle came from a mentor in the first four months of our marriage\u2014Number 4: \u201cThe couple that prays together stays together.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I had been married four months. I went to a friend, whose name was Carl Wilson\u2014he was a fiery Presbyterian preacher. I went to him\u201424 years old, wet behind the ears in marriage, just starting out \/ didn\u2019t know what I was doing\u2014I said, \u201cSo, Carl, what is the single best piece of advice you can give me, as a young man, starting out my marriage?\u201d He said: \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy! Pray every day with your wife.\u201d I said: \u201cThat\u2019s all you got?! [Laughter] That\u2019s the best advice you can give me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I just want you to know\u2014I do not think you would see us still married to one another if two very strong-willed people had not decided to bow their wills every day in a spiritual discipline of prayer together. I can tell you\u2014this has challenged our commitment and our covenant to each other on so many different occasions. But early on, we started this\u2014we go to bed \/ we pray together. Then, a couple months later into our marriage, Barbara was facing that wall and I was facing that one. It wasn\u2019t just what was most comfortable, physically \/ it was what was most comfortable, relationally and spiritually, because there was something between us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn those moments, God would tap me on the shoulder and say: \u201cHey, Rainey. Aren\u2019t you going to pray with her tonight?\u201d and I\u2019d go: \u201cUh-uh. I don\u2019t like her tonight, God.\u201d He says, \u201cI know!\u201d He said: \u201cYou said you\u2019re going to pray with her. Now pray with her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cBut God, You know\u2014in this situation, she is 90 percent wrong.\u201d [Laughter] He said, \u201cYes; I know that, but it\u2019s your 10 percent that caused her to be 90 percent wrong.\u201d [Laughter] I said, \u201cDon\u2019t mess with the facts, God.\u201d So, I would roll over in those moments. I would look Barbara in the eyes there and I\u2019d say, \u201cWill you forgive me for being 10 percent wrong?\u201d No; I did not do that! [Laughter] I did that one time, and that night lasted three months. [Laughter] It doesn\u2019t work like that, guys. You just have to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you\u2014there really is something\u2014listen to me. If you could leave here and do one thing in your marriage that will change the course of your marriage\u2014your family, your legacy, your life\u2014would be leave here and make a commitment with each other to begin to pray <em>with<\/em> and pray <em>for<\/em> one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Agreed. Number 5: \u201cIt is healthy to confess my sins to my spouse.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the verse there is James 5, which talks about confessing your sins to one another that you may be healed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEarly in our marriage, Dennis and I were living in Boulder, Colorado. He\/ we were working with high school students. Because we didn\u2019t have a very active, busy high school ministry at the time he got to know some businessmen in town\u2014the guys who did our insurance and some different businessmen from church. He decided that he would start a Bible study with some of these local businessmen in our community. He began this study with this group of men. He invited them over to our house for breakfast, and they would show up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember, after about three or four weeks of it, there was one individual man in the group that I just began to feel really uncomfortable around. He seemed a little too friendly \/ a little too\u2014wanting to be too familiar with me. I\u2014I mean, we\u2019d been married six months, maybe\u2014it hadn\u2019t been very long. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I just remember feeling very uncomfortable. I wondered, \u201cWhat do I do about this?\u201d I began to think and to pray; and I said: \u201cI wonder if I should tell Dennis how I\u2019m feeling. Maybe he\u2019s going to think I\u2019m inviting something from this man.\u201d This man was married and had four kids. I thought: \u201cGosh! I don\u2019t know.\u201d I was afraid; I was worried; I was anxious. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I thought about it, I thought, \u201cI just have to\u2014I have to say something to him.\u201d And I had <em>no<\/em> interest in this man whatsoever, but I just sensed that he was being a little too friendly with me. I got my courage up, and I got really brave, and I told him what I was thinking and how I was feeling. We had a really good conversation. He was grateful that I told him. He informed the men that we weren\u2019t meeting at our house anymore. They began to meet at a restaurant, and that was the end of the situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat both of us learned from that\u2014that was so crucial as a foundation stone in our marriage\u2014was the importance of being transparent with one another. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what I was feeling was not a sin\u2014so it doesn\u2019t actually qualify for that James verse. The point is that I was struggling with something\u2014I was feeling uncomfortable, and I couldn\u2019t handle that on my own\u2014I needed my partner with me to help me sort through what I was feeling and to know what to do about it, because we were one \/ we were married. I wasn\u2019t supposed to handle that on my own\u2014I was supposed to handle that with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat became a pattern that we have followed in all these years of our marriage since. We are <em>very<\/em> transparent with one another\u2014we do talk about temptations; we do talk about sins that we\u2019re struggling with; we do talk about our fears; we do talk about things that we\u2019re having a hard time believing God for. Because God brought us together to be stronger together than we were individually, He wants us to operate together. He doesn\u2019t want me trying to solve things on my own and Dennis solve things on his own, because then we\u2019re going to be two independent people again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point of this one is\u2014it\u2019s very healthy to confess my sins to my spouse, but it\u2019s also helpful to be transparent\u2014and talk about temptations, talk about your fears, talk about your anxieties, talk about what you\u2019re struggling believing God for\u2014because then you can encourage one another, and you can build up one another\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And it\u2019s important, too, to be safe. As a man, I\u2019ve confessed to Barbara that I\u2019m struggling with lust. Now, I\u2019ve heard some men say, \u201cI could never share that with my wife, because she would be threatened by that.\u201d I would say: \u201cTry it. Test it. See if she\u2019s capable of dispensing and being an expression of God\u2019s grace back to you to understand.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve shared with Barbara when I was betrayed by a fellow friend in the ministry and how that deeply wounded me, as a man. She bore that burden with me. This is a very, very important\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Yes; and I want to know, as a wife. I would imagine most women in here do, too; because I want to know what\u2019s happening in your life. I want to be able to pray; I want to be able to support; I want to be able to do what I need to do to help, and I can\u2019t do that if I don\u2019t know. So; this has been <em>super<\/em> important principle in our marriage \/ in our 44 years of marriage that has kept us together\u2014it\u2019s kept us united \/ it\u2019s kept us from becoming isolated from one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Number 6\u2014put a start by this one. I think this is absolutely one of the most important principles we\u2019ll share with you\u2014it\u2019s Ephesians 4, verse 32: \u201cBe kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.\u201d The gospel is about forgiveness\u2014God\u2019s forgiveness of us\u2014and we should mirror this to one another in our marriage, seven times seventy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tForgiveness means we give up the right to punish another person. That\u2019s why Number 6 is: \u201cIt is categorically impossible to experience marriage, as God designed it, without being liberal and lavish in your forgiveness of one another.\u201d When you forgive \/ when we forgive each other, we both know that we have to give up the right to punish the other person. We will hurt one another. When you don\u2019t ask for forgiveness and you hurt your spouse, you set up the opportunity to become isolated from one another and, ultimately, to allow bitterness to take root.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to ask you a question: \u201cWhen was the last time you asked your spouse to forgive you?\u201d I think this\u2014this needs to be taught within the Christian community with fresh teaching about God\u2019s forgiveness of us that we might mirror that forgiveness in our marriage for the sake of our marriage, but also\u2014listen to me\u2014for the sake of our children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re going to marry an imperfect person. They have to know how two selfish, imperfect people live together in the most intimate of all relationships. It\u2019s your marriage\u2014as imperfect as it may be \/ as ours is\u2014that gives children the very finest teaching and modeling of what forgiveness looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had an argument sometimes\u2014and Barbara and I have been arguing in front of the kids, and they\u2019re just\u2014life has stopped. They\u2019re just locked on us like little radar units\u2014reminds me of the African proverb that says: \u201cWhen the elephants fight, it\u2019s the grass that suffers.\u201d I\u2019ve stopped and I\u2019ve said: \u201cOkay, kids; your mom and I have a disagreement; alright? We love each other; we\u2019re committed; we\u2019re not going anywhere. We\u2019re going to reschedule this argument for a later time. Don\u2019t fret \/ don\u2019t worry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tForgiveness of one another is very, very important. Ruth Bell Graham said, \u201cMarriage is the union of two forgivers.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>Number 7: \u201cThe greatest threat in any marriage is losing a teachable heart.\u201d A teachable heart means your heart is receptive, spiritually \/ it\u2019s open, spiritually. It also means that you have a humble heart\u2014a heart that\u2019s willing to grow, a heart that\u2019s willing to learn, a heart that\u2019s open to truth and to change. I have a question for you: \u201cAs you think about these principles, and this one in particular, are you willing to grow and to change in your marriage? Are you willing to change as an individual? Are you open to what God might want to do in your heart to change you?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A disciple is a learner\u2014you have to be teachable to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara: <\/strong>And as long as we have breath, God has stuff He wants to work on in our hearts. We are never going to stop growing and changing\u2014that\u2019s a commitment that we have made to one another in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn Tuesday, when I spoke to the women \/ Tuesday morning, one of the things I talked to the women about was the idea of not quitting in your marriage. I shared that you can stay married and quit. When you stay married and quit, it means you slammed the door shut on being teachable and on growing and being receptive, spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Mark 6:5-6 it says that Jesus \u201cmarveled at the people\u2019s unbelief.\u201d I want to ask you now: \u201cIs Jesus marveling at your faith, or is He marveling at your unbelief?\u201d A teachable heart is one that\u2019s open to faith \/ it is growing. A closed heart is one that has chosen unbelief. If you want your marriage to thrive\u2014and grow and become all that God intends for it to be\u2014you must maintain and cultivate a teachable heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Number 8: \u201cEvery couple needs a mentor couple who is one lap ahead of them in the seasons of life.\u201d This is so important. We are not commanded in Scripture to do life alone. You need someone in your life that you have given access to who can speak truth to you\u2014who can correct, instruct, encourage \/ cheer on. The question is: \u201cWho\u2019s your mentor?\u201d And maybe a more important question is: \u201cWho are you mentoring?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the problems, if you live long enough, is your mentors begin to die. We had some <em>great<\/em> men and women \/ some couples who have mentored Barbara and me. It\u2019s left a hole in our lives, because they have spoken truth into our lives; but that doesn\u2019t mean you still shouldn\u2019t have mentors to be able to speak truth into you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, we\u2019ve been listening to the first half of a message that Dennis and Barbara Rainey shared with an audience onboard the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> marriage cruise, back in February. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis really is a distillation of what has guided your marriage \/ your family over the 40-plus years that the two of you have been married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I was thinking, as I was listening back there\u2014it\u2019s really an application of all the Scripture and all the mentoring, like I mentioned, that we\u2019ve been given applied to our lives\u2014and in one word it\u2019s called wisdom. It\u2019s godly skill in everyday living. It\u2019s taking the raw components of life, weaving them together according to God\u2019s design. There\u2019s no place on the planet, Bob, like a marriage and family where we <em>need<\/em> to know God\u2019s design and His blueprints.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. And you know that the folks who are regular listeners to our program understand that. That\u2019s why they\u2019re regular listeners here, because they\u2019re part of the dialogue we\u2019re having every day on these kinds of critical issues related to marriage and family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just need to stop here and say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to the group that is foundational to all that we\u2019re doing, here, at FamilyLife\u2014that would be our Legacy Partners. Legacy Partners are folks who have let us know that they\u2019re going to be contributing monthly to this program. Together, as a group, they provide the financial backbone to cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program and enabling us to reach more people, day in and day out, than we\u2019ve ever reached before with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who are Legacy Partners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say to those of you who are regular listeners: \u201cWe\u2019d love to have you join the team. Have you ever thought about making FamilyLife an organization that you support each month?\u201d If you feel like what we\u2019re doing here is significant, we\u2019d invite you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and learn more about becoming a Legacy Partner, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and just let us know that you\u2019d like to become a monthly contributor to this ministry. Again, our website\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u20141-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d Just say, \u201cI\u2019m interested in becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear the rest of the list \/ the rest of the things that are on Dennis and Barbara\u2019s list of the top 20\u2014I guess it went up to 22\u2014things that you shared with folks recently about how to have a strong marriage and family. We\u2019ll finish the list tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t______________________________________________________________________________\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\"><u>donating today<\/u><\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304584"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304584"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304584"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304584"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}