{"id":304570,"date":"2017-06-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/embracing-foster-care\/"},"modified":"2017-06-29T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-06-29T15:00:00","slug":"embracing-foster-care","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-foster-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing Foster Care"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TJ and Jenn Menn never imagined when they signed on to be foster parents shortly after getting married that they would welcome 22 foster children into their home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-29.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:27:41","filesize":"25.35M","filesize_raw":"26577612","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818,2821],"tags":[5452],"podcast_series":[8219],"cwp_profile":[9460],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304570","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","category-reaching-out","tag-foster-parenting","podcast_series-faith-to-foster","cwp_profile-tj-and-jenn-menn","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304570\/embracing-foster-care","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304570\/embracing-foster-care","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"h7t7BtAU2H\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-foster-care\/\">Embracing Foster Care<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-foster-care\/embed\/#?secret=h7t7BtAU2H\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Embracing Foster Care&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"h7t7BtAU2H\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When TJ and Jenn Menn decided they would open their hearts and their home to become foster parents, they didn\u2019t fully understand all that they were getting themselves into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>We\u2019re not defined by the time that they leave\u2014just as Jesus isn\u2019t defined by His death\u2014but rather His resurrection. What we\u2019re experiencing when we are doing life with these children and with their birth parents and with their social workers is really\u2014we are all witnessing and are a part of the redemption of a family. When that family can be taken from brokenness to whole and have their children back\u2014we celebrate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also mourn it\u2014we also cry just like Jesus\u2019s disciples were weeping when He died\u2014but then they celebrated when they understood what was going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. TJ and Jenn Menn join us today to share with us the adventure they\u2019ve been on as they have become foster parents. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There are times when I will hear about a couple or hear about their story or about the book that they\u2019ve written, and I just think, \u201cOkay, they\u2019re going to wind up on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> one way or another\u201d\u2014just because I know the subject of what\u2019s being talked about is something that\u2019s right at the heart of what you and Barbara have been passionate about for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. It\u2019s about foster care and going near the heart of the orphan.TJ and Jenn Menn join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Thank you very much, gentlemen. We\u2019re very thankful to be here and excited to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Definitely. And we\u2019ve appreciated the ministry of FamilyLife over the years. So, it\u2019s fun to come together and partner in this way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you guys attended the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014was it before you got married, or was it after? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It was after we had been married. It was actually a wedding present that was given to us\u2014and I would highly recommend it. If you\u2019re looking for a wedding gift, a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is definitely a good one to give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, this is a unique couple. They live in West Point, New York, where there is a little school; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u201cHarvard on the Hudson\u201d is what we like to call it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Harvard on the Hudson. I should take you to the Harvard of the Ozarks. Well, that\u2019s where I graduated\u2014the University of Arkansas. [Laughter]\u00a0 This couple met while both of them were students at West Point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Both of them were cadets. Let\u2019s get it correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Excuse me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They were cadets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is a great story here\u2014our listeners need to hear about a bet\u2014but before we get to the bet, I just want to hear how you two met in the first place. Jenn, how did you guys first meet? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>You know when I arrived at West Point, TJ had already been there a few years. They had a Sunday school program there where you teach faculty\u2019s children. So, I volunteered and started teaching high schoolers every Sunday\u2014and TJ was one of the co-teachers there. So, we\u2019d get together to prepare for what we\u2019d be talking about that Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he volunteer to be a co-teacher after he saw you? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tell the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>TJ? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I\u2019m a little older than Jenn by about three years. So, I was a senior when she showed up as a freshman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Which is significant at West Point because they have this culture where they are teaching you how to act when you\u2019re in the military. So, the freshman\u2014it\u2019s haze year. You\u2019re called plebs. You can\u2019t talk outside of your room. You keep your fists clenched everywhere you walk, and you have to greet all upper classmen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hold it. Your fists clenched? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Right; you\u2019d have to even square your corners when you\u2019re walking. If I want to walk across the hall\u2014I can\u2019t just go at an angle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It\u2019s just like you\u2019re marching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell us the genesis of the bet. How did all of the bet come to be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>The bet originated with my roommate and I in a long\u2014you\u2019ve been to college. You\u2019ve had those conversations where neither of you can get to sleep at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>One of our classmates had recently been kicked out of the academy. We\u2019re talking about three months before graduation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Your family has all got plans. Everybody is making hotel reservations, flight reservations\u2014all kinds of things to come\u2014how silly. What a mistake you could make; and basically, we got around to\u2014unless it was for a bet. So my roommate and I made a bet that whoever could kiss a pleb before graduation would receive $20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many women were plebs at that point? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think it was around 10 to 15 percent\u2014so maybe, 100 to150. I mean I was a good cadet. I don\u2019t want to paint this picture\u2014like, I didn\u2019t know any pleb girls outside of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait. You\u2019d been in Sunday school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I know but outside of Jenn\u2014she was basically like the only pleb girl. There were some other pleb girls in the Sunday school program\u2014but you\u2019re not supposed to have personal relationships, and I didn\u2019t have personal relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so in the back of your mind, you had to be thinking in that moment\u2014\u201cI bet I could kiss Jenn;\u201d weren\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I was even the number one choice. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Oh, no\u2014she was an option. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>It sounds horribly unromantic; but from my end of things\u2014not knowing about the bet\u2014because you can\u2019t <em>tell<\/em> the woman about the bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>From my end, I\u2019m just seeing all kinds of romance all over the place because he\u2019s only got about six weeks to try and get a kiss, and I\u2019m not an easy girl to get a kiss from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was there any qualification put on the kiss? Could it just be a peck on the cheek, or did it have to be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Forehead\u2014you couldn\u2019t kiss her forehead and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and get away with it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Kiss her hand? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>There was no way\u2014you couldn\u2019t tell the girl and split the money or anything that way. [Laughter]\u00a0 Honestly, about a month before, we thought that we were both out of luck. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, here is the question: Did you start turning up the romantic interest in Jenn because you had this $20 on the line? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s nodding her head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>No doubt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jenn, give us your side of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What started happening? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Well, I just think neither of us really had romantic interest in each other all year. It\u2019s not like all year I was itching for him and waiting for him to start pursuing me or anything. It just came out of the blue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He started and just said, \u201cHey, do you want to go to dinner?\u201d\u00a0 What was it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Oh, no, you can\u2019t do openly dating as a pleb. We just started running together in the mornings. My track season had just ended\u2014his boxing season had just ended\u2014so we started running about every morning before sunrise\u2014because you can\u2019t be seen during the day with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. So this is all stealth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s part of what makes it fun; right? You feel like you\u2019re doing something. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you thinking, \u201cHey, I think he likes me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Yes, at that point, definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m a pretty intentional guy\u2014despite what the story is making me sound like. So, we had talked about a lot of things. You know at that point, I think romantic feelings came into play\u2014but this was different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really think God uses all kinds of circumstances. I firmly believe that God arranged our courtship and our marriage because I knew much more about Jenn\u2019s interpretation of Scripture and how she felt about Biblical passages\u2014we\u2019d spent a year teaching\u2014than I knew about anything else of her\u2014and I wasn\u2019t distracted by physical attractiveness or anything that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe learned about each other\u2014whether we had a consistent quiet time, how we prayed, how we interacted with the Lord\u2014because we taught Sunday school together without any of the romantic distractions in place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was the fact that she was teaching the Song of Solomon make any difference about the kiss? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was a $20 bet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It was a $20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014that forced you to take a second look\u2014and in taking a second look, you started to develop some affection for her; didn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Definitely. You know I saw what a beautiful, young lady she was\u2014and still is\u2014and really developed a romantic feeling for her; and we kissed two nights before graduation, thankfully. My roommate got his kiss the night before graduation. He was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>So, nobody got 20 bucks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Nobody got 20 bucks. He ends up being the best man at our wedding six months later\u2014tells this story, which no one knows except the three of us at this point. I told Jenn before we got engaged. I felt like I owed her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A few hundred thousand of your closest friends know now. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, I\u2019m calling the student newspaper at West Point because this is front page news. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, he now teaches at West Point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I know!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, hey, huh? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>That\u2019s going to be great. [Laughter]\u00a0 But the other half of the bet\u2014they ended up kind of breaking up for a little bit; but now, Mike and Jenn\u2014she was also named Jenn\u2014they are now married, and they got married at West Point. I was his best man, and Jenn made a paper mache $20 bill for the bride to destroy at the reception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, I want to know how did he propose to you, Jenn? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Oh, it was back in his hometown. He\u2019s from a tiny town. So, he wanted to do it back home during when they have an annual picnic in the woods with the whole side of the family. Just before that, he took me out. There\u2019s an old bridge looking at the stars and things, read me a poem, and proposed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it was a tough call because it meant you\u2019re either going with him, or you\u2019re staying at West Point which had been a dream of yours since you were nine years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>So, at that point, I had already left the academy knowing that we were getting serious because TJ\u2019s a pretty direct communicator, and we knew where things were heading. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had gone back for summer training after he graduated\u2014doing all the field training where you\u2019re out there in the woods for about eight weeks or so. About half way through that, I started thinking, \u201cYou know? If I\u2019m not going to be here long term, why am I up here doing land nav again?\u201d So, I decided, \u201cNow is the time to go.\u201d\u00a0 And it kicked started things for sure for us as far as moving faster than it would have if I would have stayed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, you know it\u2019s not your engagement story that is the reason we brought you here. We want to talk about what has been a journey you guys have been on since you got married. I\u2019m just wondering, \u201cIs this issue\u2014the issue of foster parenting\u2014is it something that was on the table for the two of you\u2014before you got married? Did you ever talk about foster parenting?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, in fact, I just want to say and apologize to our audience and our guests\u2014I did not introduce you with your book\u2014but it is kind of fun to do it halfway through\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014the broadcast. [Laughter]\u00a0 The book is called <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>, and it is the story of how a pleb and a cadet got together and began their journey together and are making a difference in orphans\u2019 lives. Go ahead and answer Bob\u2019s question now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I think TJ was really intentional that we could do something together for the Kingdom of God that we couldn\u2019t do apart and wanting to kind of cast that vision of what marriage is. He had great mentor couples there during his time at West Point that really showed him what a godly marriage could be. So, that was really what intrigued me to leave the academy\u2014was I agreed with him. I thought that\u2014\u201cYes. You know what? We could do that together.\u201d\u00a0 But at that point, we didn\u2019t know exactly what it would look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will say that, then once we married\u2014and all of the sudden now, I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat do I do with my life? Here I am an Army Wife in lower Alabama.\u201d\u00a0 That really caused us to have those conversations and figure out really quickly what that would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think once we got married and we moved from flight school to our first duty station, at that point, we\u2019d been married about six months; and we joined a Navigator Bible Study and talking about this idea of discipleship and really\u2014\u201cWhat are you doing to advance the Kingdom of God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Matthew, Jesus says, \u201cSince the days of John the Baptist, the Kingdom of God has been forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it.\u201d\u00a0 And we really believed that as a Christian couple, we needed to be doing something to advance the Kingdom of God. And we were attending Bible studies. We even hosted a Bible study\u2014but we felt like we wanted to do something together as a couple that we could that we couldn\u2019t really do apart. Foster care really fit that bill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had you guys had any discussion about having children, about orphans, about foster care as you dated? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>We did, but I would not say that we specified foster care. We talked like\u2014\u201cWell, do you want to have children?\u201d\u2014and I think we left it at that. We started the training and even welcomed foster children into our home while we were on birth control. We did not want to have kids of our own at that point. We\u2014this was very intentional ministry that we wanted to try and help the children that needed a home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just wonder\u2014because there is almost a romantic side to\u2014\u201cOh, we\u2019ll be foster parents and we\u2019ll take care of these kids\u201d\u2014and a lot of folks go into this without their eyes wide open to what you are opening yourself up to\u2014foster parenting can be brutal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I do think we were part of that blind, romantic getting involved in it\u2014you learn as you go. I think it\u2019s okay that, in principle, to be excited about and romanticizing the principle because it gives you the courage to walk into what you\u2019re getting into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, TJ\u2019s parents had foster-parented. So, he had been familiar with kids being in the house from about the time he was ten years old on\u2014and in high school, I had been involved with the teen emergency shelter that they invited peers to be involved in. I also knew what it would like to be a teenager out of your home\u2014and I think that exposure made it a little easier for us. It didn\u2019t feel like a big leap when we got involved, looking back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, you\u2019d also both been to West Point which I think, may be a requirement to be foster parents somehow\u2014some hand-to-hand combat training or something ready. I mean\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to make it out as more than it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but your book talks about lying and biting and all of the things that come with parenting. It comes with foster parenting in spades sometimes; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. But I would be cautious to your audience\u2014I don\u2019t want to make this seem like this is something for superheroes or people have got their lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u2014together because if you wait for the perfect time\u2014it\u2019s kind of like waiting for the ocean to stand still\u2014it\u2019s never going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, foster parenting is something where we really feel called. The church can make a huge difference and just break the cycle of foster care. The children come into the system. They have a rough time. Maybe, the foster home is doing it for, maybe selfish reasons or reasons that maybe aren\u2019t the best for the child. Then the child gets out and has no support structure when they age-out. Then, they have children of their own, and they\u2019ve never been taught how to raise\u2014or how to love children well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve all raised children of your own\u2014and they\u2019ve probably bit you, they probably stole from you, they\u2019ve probably lied to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>You know the same things end up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u2014and these kids\u2014they need the love of Jesus just like your biological children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The thing I like about you two\u2014and I really mean this\u2014you were married in 2005. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys ventured off into this journey early on. There are a lot of newlyweds who want to protect their relationship and frankly, their own interest, in terms of building their own relationship\u2014which by the way, is not an impure motive\u2014but you started thinking of others early on in your marriage. Do you remember the dinner or the discussions or the runs you were taking after you were married where you started talking about this and how the first child came to you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>The first children we had were a sibling group of three, and we\u2019re going from zero to three. Jenn is 20 or 21\u2014never probably changed a diaper before\u2014and we get three that are four, two, and a few months. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat story demonstrates to us the\u2014just the unity of the church and how critical it is to have support. Not everyone may have or be in a situation where they can foster. Maybe, you are older. Maybe, you are single, and you just don\u2019t want to bring a child into your home\u2014and that\u2019s fine\u2014but we received support through meals, through toys, through daycare and childcare, and just all kinds of things. The church coming together and supporting us with that first placement was incredible because we had nothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>And we knew nothing. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes. Kids come to us, and they don\u2019t\u2014they have the clothes on their backs, and you have to be prepared for anywhere from zero to 18. The church\u2014our Sunday school class rallied together\u2014brought clothes, brought meals, brought furniture. It\u2019s a story of why I think Christ stresses unity so much because it was phenomenal to be a part of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>TJ, I am thinking of being a young husband, married for a year and a half, in the military. If I\u2019d gotten the call and they said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a group of three,\u201d I\u2019d have said, \u201cWe should probably start with one. We should probably just try this with one first and see how we do.\u201d\u00a0 You guys didn\u2019t say that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Jenn is a little ambitious. She\u2019s gung ho. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you the impetuous to say, \u201cWe can do three?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Probably, and I think there is a difference too, when you think about an idea of something you would say yes to and then, when someone is actually calling you with the real names of the lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You think? You think? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, and to your point, sir, they\u2019re on the phone\u2014they\u2019re saying, \u201cHey, these kids don\u2019t have a place to sleep tonight.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, the county had about 30 to 40 foster homes at any given time; and they were talking about 300 to 400 kids in care. So, if they don\u2019t come to our home. They\u2019re next destination is probably a shelter, and the shelter is going to be full. Then, they\u2019re going to be farmed out somewhere around the state. You know it\u2019s kind of a shame that more churches, I think, aren\u2019t stepping up to help with foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know there is more to this story that I want our audience to hear, but I want to stop you right there. Did you hear what he just said? There are 30 to 40 homes that care for foster care kids, and they had\u2014how many kids? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Three to four hundred at any given time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want you to know, as a listening audience, that\u2019s not an anomaly. All across the country, there are counties with multiple more children than there are homes\u2014and especially to the shame of the church. I mean this, not to be heaping shame in a cheap way on the church, but just to say, \u201cIf anybody ought to be caring for these kids, it ought to be us who profess to be followers of Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what you\u2019re saying and said earlier. This is really what ought to be the church\u2019s finest moment in caring for a generation of foster care children\u2014and they are out there increasingly because of drugs by the tens of thousands in our country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. Everything you say\u2014exactly right. It\u2019s an opportunity for the church to demonstrate the love of Christ and to be a light that shines and results in the praise of the Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I think, then, the next question is \u201cWell, why not? Why aren\u2019t they?\u201d I think the most frequent resistance or question that we receive\u2014when people find out that we\u2019re foster parents, it seems like they have a natural reaction to internalize and then express to us why they are not foster parents\u2014even though we\u2019re not asking them to become foster parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the most frequent thing we hear is \u201cOh, I could never do that. It\u2019d be too hard. I\u2019d get too attached to the kids and then have to say good bye.\u201d That\u2019s a frustrating thing to hear as a foster mom\u2014often, when I have one of those kids in my arms\u2014thank you for the reminder that they will be going\u2014but it\u2019s this aspect that we\u2019re not defined by the time that they leave; just as Jesus isn\u2019t defined by His death but rather His resurrection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re experiencing when we are doing life with these children and with their birth parents and with their social workers is\u2014really, we are all witnessing and a part of the redemption of a family. So, when that family can be taken from brokenness to whole and have their children back\u2014we celebrate that\u2014we also mourn it\u2014we also cry just like Jesus\u2019 disciples were weeping when He died\u2014but then they celebrated when they understood what was going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve heard anybody express it so clearly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s really what\u2014Christ came to do. He came to redeem those who are spiritual orphans and give them a family. It\u2019s why God says in the book of James\u2014\u201cThis is pure and undefiled religion that we go near the orphan and the widow in their distress.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, of all people, ought to be carrying the DNA of our Heavenly Father, which is caring for the orphan. You guys have done that, and you tell more of the story. I\u2019m going to hint at the rest of the story\u2014which we\u2019ll tell more\u2014later this week. You ended up being foster care parents for\u2014how many? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think we\u2019re at 25 or 24 right now\u2014somewhere around there. I can\u2019t remember. The book, I think, says 23. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it does. You probably have a more updated number. So the story is continuing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve had programs about orphans\u2014about adoptions, about foster care before; and you know there have been some listeners who, in hearing us talk about this, have\u2014God\u2019s impressed on their hearts\u2014\u201cI\u2019m talking to you. This is something you need to be doing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, some great stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A listener who is listening and they just have that sense\u2014\u201cI\u2019m talking to you\u201d\u2014what should they do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget running into one of these listeners at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. She said, \u201cI was listening to one of your broadcast on my way to Walmart, and I couldn\u2019t get out of the car\u2014had to settle the issue there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think it\u2019s for everybody. You guys have said that. You made it clear. It\u2019s not for everybody\u2014but it is for some. It\u2019s for more\u2014I\u2019ll say this\u2014it\u2019s for more than are saying, \u201cYes.\u201d They\u2019re too many Christians in America for more families not to be saying, \u201cYes,\u201d to providing homes for kids who are coming from horrific backgrounds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and I think a couple who would think, \u201cWe could do this. We could open our home. We could open our hearts and be foster parents,\u201d should get a copy of TJ and Jenn\u2019s book, <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>. It would help fill in some of the gaps that might be there in your thinking\u2014help you understand what it is to become a foster parent. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>, and you can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com or order by phone\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know this subject\u2014adoption, foster care, orphans\u2014this has been a passion area of ours here at FamilyLife for many years; and part of the reason for that is we recognize how\u2014significant, how central\u2014a family is to who we are and who we become as human beings. Our goal here at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s the soil in which healthy people grow. It\u2019s also the soil from which we can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us in this endeavor who are helping us reach more and more people every week, every month, every year. As you support this ministry, you are really supporting the marriages and families of people all around the world. You are a part of a family reformation as you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation, we\u2019d love to have you be a part of the team and be a part of what God\u2019s doing through the ministry. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to hear more about your experience as foster parents. TJ and Jenn Menn are with us today. They\u2019ll be back again tomorrow, and we\u2019ll hear about some of the kids you have brought into your home. Hope our listeners can be with us for that. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:27:41"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.35M"],"filesize_raw":["26577612"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304570.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304570.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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and Jenn Menn never imagined when they signed on to be foster parents shortly after getting married that they would welcome 22 foster children into their home.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>When TJ and Jenn Menn decided they would open their hearts and their home to become foster parents, they didn\u2019t fully understand all that they were getting themselves into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>We\u2019re not defined by the time that they leave\u2014just as Jesus isn\u2019t defined by His death\u2014but rather His resurrection. What we\u2019re experiencing when we are doing life with these children and with their birth parents and with their social workers is really\u2014we are all witnessing and are a part of the redemption of a family. When that family can be taken from brokenness to whole and have their children back\u2014we celebrate that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also mourn it\u2014we also cry just like Jesus\u2019s disciples were weeping when He died\u2014but then they celebrated when they understood what was going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 29<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. TJ and Jenn Menn join us today to share with us the adventure they\u2019ve been on as they have become foster parents. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There are times when I will hear about a couple or hear about their story or about the book that they\u2019ve written, and I just think, \u201cOkay, they\u2019re going to wind up on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> one way or another\u201d\u2014just because I know the subject of what\u2019s being talked about is something that\u2019s right at the heart of what you and Barbara have been passionate about for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It is. It\u2019s about foster care and going near the heart of the orphan.TJ and Jenn Menn join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Welcome to the broadcast. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Thank you very much, gentlemen. We\u2019re very thankful to be here and excited to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Definitely. And we\u2019ve appreciated the ministry of FamilyLife over the years. So, it\u2019s fun to come together and partner in this way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, you guys attended the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014was it before you got married, or was it after? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It was after we had been married. It was actually a wedding present that was given to us\u2014and I would highly recommend it. If you\u2019re looking for a wedding gift, a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is definitely a good one to give. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, this is a unique couple. They live in West Point, New York, where there is a little school; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u201cHarvard on the Hudson\u201d is what we like to call it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Harvard on the Hudson. I should take you to the Harvard of the Ozarks. Well, that\u2019s where I graduated\u2014the University of Arkansas. [Laughter]\u00a0 This couple met while both of them were students at West Point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Both of them were cadets. Let\u2019s get it correct. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Excuse me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>They were cadets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>There is a great story here\u2014our listeners need to hear about a bet\u2014but before we get to the bet, I just want to hear how you two met in the first place. Jenn, how did you guys first meet? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>You know when I arrived at West Point, TJ had already been there a few years. They had a Sunday school program there where you teach faculty\u2019s children. So, I volunteered and started teaching high schoolers every Sunday\u2014and TJ was one of the co-teachers there. So, we\u2019d get together to prepare for what we\u2019d be talking about that Sunday. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Did he volunteer to be a co-teacher after he saw you? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Tell the truth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>TJ? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I\u2019m a little older than Jenn by about three years. So, I was a senior when she showed up as a freshman. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Which is significant at West Point because they have this culture where they are teaching you how to act when you\u2019re in the military. So, the freshman\u2014it\u2019s haze year. You\u2019re called plebs. You can\u2019t talk outside of your room. You keep your fists clenched everywhere you walk, and you have to greet all upper classmen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Hold it. Your fists clenched? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Right; you\u2019d have to even square your corners when you\u2019re walking. If I want to walk across the hall\u2014I can\u2019t just go at an angle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It\u2019s just like you\u2019re marching. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Tell us the genesis of the bet. How did all of the bet come to be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>The bet originated with my roommate and I in a long\u2014you\u2019ve been to college. You\u2019ve had those conversations where neither of you can get to sleep at night. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>One of our classmates had recently been kicked out of the academy. We\u2019re talking about three months before graduation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Your family has all got plans. Everybody is making hotel reservations, flight reservations\u2014all kinds of things to come\u2014how silly. What a mistake you could make; and basically, we got around to\u2014unless it was for a bet. So my roommate and I made a bet that whoever could kiss a pleb before graduation would receive $20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>How many women were plebs at that point? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think it was around 10 to 15 percent\u2014so maybe, 100 to150. I mean I was a good cadet. I don\u2019t want to paint this picture\u2014like, I didn\u2019t know any pleb girls outside of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Now, wait. You\u2019d been in Sunday school. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I know but outside of Jenn\u2014she was basically like the only pleb girl. There were some other pleb girls in the Sunday school program\u2014but you\u2019re not supposed to have personal relationships, and I didn\u2019t have personal relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Okay, so in the back of your mind, you had to be thinking in that moment\u2014\u201cI bet I could kiss Jenn;\u201d weren\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I was even the number one choice. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Oh, no\u2014she was an option. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>It sounds horribly unromantic; but from my end of things\u2014not knowing about the bet\u2014because you can\u2019t <em>tell<\/em> the woman about the bet. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>From my end, I\u2019m just seeing all kinds of romance all over the place because he\u2019s only got about six weeks to try and get a kiss, and I\u2019m not an easy girl to get a kiss from. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was there any qualification put on the kiss? Could it just be a peck on the cheek, or did it have to be\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Forehead\u2014you couldn\u2019t kiss her forehead and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014and get away with it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Kiss her hand? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>There was no way\u2014you couldn\u2019t tell the girl and split the money or anything that way. [Laughter]\u00a0 Honestly, about a month before, we thought that we were both out of luck. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>So, here is the question: Did you start turning up the romantic interest in Jenn because you had this $20 on the line? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>She\u2019s nodding her head. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>No doubt. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Jenn, give us your side of this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What started happening? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Well, I just think neither of us really had romantic interest in each other all year. It\u2019s not like all year I was itching for him and waiting for him to start pursuing me or anything. It just came out of the blue. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He started and just said, \u201cHey, do you want to go to dinner?\u201d\u00a0 What was it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Oh, no, you can\u2019t do openly dating as a pleb. We just started running together in the mornings. My track season had just ended\u2014his boxing season had just ended\u2014so we started running about every morning before sunrise\u2014because you can\u2019t be seen during the day with each other. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Wow. So this is all stealth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s part of what makes it fun; right? You feel like you\u2019re doing something. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you thinking, \u201cHey, I think he likes me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Yes, at that point, definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Well, I\u2019m a pretty intentional guy\u2014despite what the story is making me sound like. So, we had talked about a lot of things. You know at that point, I think romantic feelings came into play\u2014but this was different. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI really think God uses all kinds of circumstances. I firmly believe that God arranged our courtship and our marriage because I knew much more about Jenn\u2019s interpretation of Scripture and how she felt about Biblical passages\u2014we\u2019d spent a year teaching\u2014than I knew about anything else of her\u2014and I wasn\u2019t distracted by physical attractiveness or anything that way. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe learned about each other\u2014whether we had a consistent quiet time, how we prayed, how we interacted with the Lord\u2014because we taught Sunday school together without any of the romantic distractions in place. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Was the fact that she was teaching the Song of Solomon make any difference about the kiss? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>It was a $20 bet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>It was a $20. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014that forced you to take a second look\u2014and in taking a second look, you started to develop some affection for her; didn\u2019t you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Definitely. You know I saw what a beautiful, young lady she was\u2014and still is\u2014and really developed a romantic feeling for her; and we kissed two nights before graduation, thankfully. My roommate got his kiss the night before graduation. He was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>So, nobody got 20 bucks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Nobody got 20 bucks. He ends up being the best man at our wedding six months later\u2014tells this story, which no one knows except the three of us at this point. I told Jenn before we got engaged. I felt like I owed her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>A few hundred thousand of your closest friends know now. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>In fact, I\u2019m calling the student newspaper at West Point because this is front page news. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Well, he now teaches at West Point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I know!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, hey, huh? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>That\u2019s going to be great. [Laughter]\u00a0 But the other half of the bet\u2014they ended up kind of breaking up for a little bit; but now, Mike and Jenn\u2014she was also named Jenn\u2014they are now married, and they got married at West Point. I was his best man, and Jenn made a paper mache $20 bill for the bride to destroy at the reception. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s great. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, I want to know how did he propose to you, Jenn? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Oh, it was back in his hometown. He\u2019s from a tiny town. So, he wanted to do it back home during when they have an annual picnic in the woods with the whole side of the family. Just before that, he took me out. There\u2019s an old bridge looking at the stars and things, read me a poem, and proposed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>And it was a tough call because it meant you\u2019re either going with him, or you\u2019re staying at West Point which had been a dream of yours since you were nine years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>So, at that point, I had already left the academy knowing that we were getting serious because TJ\u2019s a pretty direct communicator, and we knew where things were heading. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had gone back for summer training after he graduated\u2014doing all the field training where you\u2019re out there in the woods for about eight weeks or so. About half way through that, I started thinking, \u201cYou know? If I\u2019m not going to be here long term, why am I up here doing land nav again?\u201d So, I decided, \u201cNow is the time to go.\u201d\u00a0 And it kicked started things for sure for us as far as moving faster than it would have if I would have stayed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, you know it\u2019s not your engagement story that is the reason we brought you here. We want to talk about what has been a journey you guys have been on since you got married. I\u2019m just wondering, \u201cIs this issue\u2014the issue of foster parenting\u2014is it something that was on the table for the two of you\u2014before you got married? Did you ever talk about foster parenting?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes, in fact, I just want to say and apologize to our audience and our guests\u2014I did not introduce you with your book\u2014but it is kind of fun to do it halfway through\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u2014the broadcast. [Laughter]\u00a0 The book is called <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>, and it is the story of how a pleb and a cadet got together and began their journey together and are making a difference in orphans\u2019 lives. Go ahead and answer Bob\u2019s question now. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I think TJ was really intentional that we could do something together for the Kingdom of God that we couldn\u2019t do apart and wanting to kind of cast that vision of what marriage is. He had great mentor couples there during his time at West Point that really showed him what a godly marriage could be. So, that was really what intrigued me to leave the academy\u2014was I agreed with him. I thought that\u2014\u201cYes. You know what? We could do that together.\u201d\u00a0 But at that point, we didn\u2019t know exactly what it would look like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will say that, then once we married\u2014and all of the sudden now, I\u2019m like\u2014\u201cWhat do I do with my life? Here I am an Army Wife in lower Alabama.\u201d\u00a0 That really caused us to have those conversations and figure out really quickly what that would be. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think once we got married and we moved from flight school to our first duty station, at that point, we\u2019d been married about six months; and we joined a Navigator Bible Study and talking about this idea of discipleship and really\u2014\u201cWhat are you doing to advance the Kingdom of God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Matthew, Jesus says, \u201cSince the days of John the Baptist, the Kingdom of God has been forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it.\u201d\u00a0 And we really believed that as a Christian couple, we needed to be doing something to advance the Kingdom of God. And we were attending Bible studies. We even hosted a Bible study\u2014but we felt like we wanted to do something together as a couple that we could that we couldn\u2019t really do apart. Foster care really fit that bill. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Had you guys had any discussion about having children, about orphans, about foster care as you dated? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>We did, but I would not say that we specified foster care. We talked like\u2014\u201cWell, do you want to have children?\u201d\u2014and I think we left it at that. We started the training and even welcomed foster children into our home while we were on birth control. We did not want to have kids of our own at that point. We\u2014this was very intentional ministry that we wanted to try and help the children that needed a home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>I just wonder\u2014because there is almost a romantic side to\u2014\u201cOh, we\u2019ll be foster parents and we\u2019ll take care of these kids\u201d\u2014and a lot of folks go into this without their eyes wide open to what you are opening yourself up to\u2014foster parenting can be brutal. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I do think we were part of that blind, romantic getting involved in it\u2014you learn as you go. I think it\u2019s okay that, in principle, to be excited about and romanticizing the principle because it gives you the courage to walk into what you\u2019re getting into. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, TJ\u2019s parents had foster-parented. So, he had been familiar with kids being in the house from about the time he was ten years old on\u2014and in high school, I had been involved with the teen emergency shelter that they invited peers to be involved in. I also knew what it would like to be a teenager out of your home\u2014and I think that exposure made it a little easier for us. It didn\u2019t feel like a big leap when we got involved, looking back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, you\u2019d also both been to West Point which I think, may be a requirement to be foster parents somehow\u2014some hand-to-hand combat training or something ready. I mean\u2014and I\u2019m not trying to make it out as more than it is\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014but your book talks about lying and biting and all of the things that come with parenting. It comes with foster parenting in spades sometimes; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. But I would be cautious to your audience\u2014I don\u2019t want to make this seem like this is something for superheroes or people have got their lives\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u2014together because if you wait for the perfect time\u2014it\u2019s kind of like waiting for the ocean to stand still\u2014it\u2019s never going to happen. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, foster parenting is something where we really feel called. The church can make a huge difference and just break the cycle of foster care. The children come into the system. They have a rough time. Maybe, the foster home is doing it for, maybe selfish reasons or reasons that maybe aren\u2019t the best for the child. Then the child gets out and has no support structure when they age-out. Then, they have children of their own, and they\u2019ve never been taught how to raise\u2014or how to love children well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve all raised children of your own\u2014and they\u2019ve probably bit you, they probably stole from you, they\u2019ve probably lied to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>You know the same things end up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>\u2014and these kids\u2014they need the love of Jesus just like your biological children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>The thing I like about you two\u2014and I really mean this\u2014you were married in 2005. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You guys ventured off into this journey early on. There are a lot of newlyweds who want to protect their relationship and frankly, their own interest, in terms of building their own relationship\u2014which by the way, is not an impure motive\u2014but you started thinking of others early on in your marriage. Do you remember the dinner or the discussions or the runs you were taking after you were married where you started talking about this and how the first child came to you? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>The first children we had were a sibling group of three, and we\u2019re going from zero to three. Jenn is 20 or 21\u2014never probably changed a diaper before\u2014and we get three that are four, two, and a few months. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat story demonstrates to us the\u2014just the unity of the church and how critical it is to have support. Not everyone may have or be in a situation where they can foster. Maybe, you are older. Maybe, you are single, and you just don\u2019t want to bring a child into your home\u2014and that\u2019s fine\u2014but we received support through meals, through toys, through daycare and childcare, and just all kinds of things. The church coming together and supporting us with that first placement was incredible because we had nothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>And we knew nothing. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes. Kids come to us, and they don\u2019t\u2014they have the clothes on their backs, and you have to be prepared for anywhere from zero to 18. The church\u2014our Sunday school class rallied together\u2014brought clothes, brought meals, brought furniture. It\u2019s a story of why I think Christ stresses unity so much because it was phenomenal to be a part of that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>TJ, I am thinking of being a young husband, married for a year and a half, in the military. If I\u2019d gotten the call and they said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a group of three,\u201d I\u2019d have said, \u201cWe should probably start with one. We should probably just try this with one first and see how we do.\u201d\u00a0 You guys didn\u2019t say that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Jenn is a little ambitious. She\u2019s gung ho. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Were you the impetuous to say, \u201cWe can do three?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Probably, and I think there is a difference too, when you think about an idea of something you would say yes to and then, when someone is actually calling you with the real names of the lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You think? You think? [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, and to your point, sir, they\u2019re on the phone\u2014they\u2019re saying, \u201cHey, these kids don\u2019t have a place to sleep tonight.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, the county had about 30 to 40 foster homes at any given time; and they were talking about 300 to 400 kids in care. So, if they don\u2019t come to our home. They\u2019re next destination is probably a shelter, and the shelter is going to be full. Then, they\u2019re going to be farmed out somewhere around the state. You know it\u2019s kind of a shame that more churches, I think, aren\u2019t stepping up to help with foster care. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know there is more to this story that I want our audience to hear, but I want to stop you right there. Did you hear what he just said? There are 30 to 40 homes that care for foster care kids, and they had\u2014how many kids? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Three to four hundred at any given time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I want you to know, as a listening audience, that\u2019s not an anomaly. All across the country, there are counties with multiple more children than there are homes\u2014and especially to the shame of the church. I mean this, not to be heaping shame in a cheap way on the church, but just to say, \u201cIf anybody ought to be caring for these kids, it ought to be us who profess to be followers of Christ.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what you\u2019re saying and said earlier. This is really what ought to be the church\u2019s finest moment in caring for a generation of foster care children\u2014and they are out there increasingly because of drugs by the tens of thousands in our country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>Yes, sir. Everything you say\u2014exactly right. It\u2019s an opportunity for the church to demonstrate the love of Christ and to be a light that shines and results in the praise of the Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jenn: <\/strong>I think, then, the next question is \u201cWell, why not? Why aren\u2019t they?\u201d I think the most frequent resistance or question that we receive\u2014when people find out that we\u2019re foster parents, it seems like they have a natural reaction to internalize and then express to us why they are not foster parents\u2014even though we\u2019re not asking them to become foster parents. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the most frequent thing we hear is \u201cOh, I could never do that. It\u2019d be too hard. I\u2019d get too attached to the kids and then have to say good bye.\u201d That\u2019s a frustrating thing to hear as a foster mom\u2014often, when I have one of those kids in my arms\u2014thank you for the reminder that they will be going\u2014but it\u2019s this aspect that we\u2019re not defined by the time that they leave; just as Jesus isn\u2019t defined by His death but rather His resurrection. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we\u2019re experiencing when we are doing life with these children and with their birth parents and with their social workers is\u2014really, we are all witnessing and a part of the redemption of a family. So, when that family can be taken from brokenness to whole and have their children back\u2014we celebrate that\u2014we also mourn it\u2014we also cry just like Jesus\u2019 disciples were weeping when He died\u2014but then they celebrated when they understood what was going on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve heard anybody express it so clearly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenn: <\/strong>Thank you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That\u2019s really what\u2014Christ came to do. He came to redeem those who are spiritual orphans and give them a family. It\u2019s why God says in the book of James\u2014\u201cThis is pure and undefiled religion that we go near the orphan and the widow in their distress.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe, of all people, ought to be carrying the DNA of our Heavenly Father, which is caring for the orphan. You guys have done that, and you tell more of the story. I\u2019m going to hint at the rest of the story\u2014which we\u2019ll tell more\u2014later this week. You ended up being foster care parents for\u2014how many? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>TJ: <\/strong>I think we\u2019re at 25 or 24 right now\u2014somewhere around there. I can\u2019t remember. The book, I think, says 23. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I think it does. You probably have a more updated number. So the story is continuing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve had programs about orphans\u2014about adoptions, about foster care before; and you know there have been some listeners who, in hearing us talk about this, have\u2014God\u2019s impressed on their hearts\u2014\u201cI\u2019m talking to you. This is something you need to be doing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Oh, some great stories. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> A listener who is listening and they just have that sense\u2014\u201cI\u2019m talking to you\u201d\u2014what should they do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I\u2019ll never forget running into one of these listeners at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. She said, \u201cI was listening to one of your broadcast on my way to Walmart, and I couldn\u2019t get out of the car\u2014had to settle the issue there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think it\u2019s for everybody. You guys have said that. You made it clear. It\u2019s not for everybody\u2014but it is for some. It\u2019s for more\u2014I\u2019ll say this\u2014it\u2019s for more than are saying, \u201cYes.\u201d They\u2019re too many Christians in America for more families not to be saying, \u201cYes,\u201d to providing homes for kids who are coming from horrific backgrounds. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes, and I think a couple who would think, \u201cWe could do this. We could open our home. We could open our hearts and be foster parents,\u201d should get a copy of TJ and Jenn\u2019s book, <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>. It would help fill in some of the gaps that might be there in your thinking\u2014help you understand what it is to become a foster parent. We\u2019ve got copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Again, the title of the book is <em>Faith to Foster<\/em>, and you can order online at FamilyLifeToday.com or order by phone\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know this subject\u2014adoption, foster care, orphans\u2014this has been a passion area of ours here at FamilyLife for many years; and part of the reason for that is we recognize how\u2014significant, how central\u2014a family is to who we are and who we become as human beings. Our goal here at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly marriages and families. That\u2019s the soil in which healthy people grow. It\u2019s also the soil from which we can change the world one home at a time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us in this endeavor who are helping us reach more and more people every week, every month, every year. As you support this ministry, you are really supporting the marriages and families of people all around the world. You are a part of a family reformation as you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation, we\u2019d love to have you be a part of the team and be a part of what God\u2019s doing through the ministry. You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at Box 7111, Little Rock, Arkansas; our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to hear more about your experience as foster parents. TJ and Jenn Menn are with us today. They\u2019ll be back again tomorrow, and we\u2019ll hear about some of the kids you have brought into your home. Hope our listeners can be with us for that. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304570"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304570"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304570"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304570"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}