{"id":304546,"date":"2017-06-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/thats-what-dads-do\/"},"modified":"2017-06-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-06-13T15:00:00","slug":"thats-what-dads-do","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thats-what-dads-do\/","title":{"rendered":"That&#8217;s What Dads Do"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pushing through and doing hard things can make the biggest impact on your kids. &#8220;That&#8217;s what Dads do.&#8221; Find out more from Steve Farrar, Roland Warren, Ron Deal, R.V. Brown and Ben Rainey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:31:49","filesize":"29.14M","filesize_raw":"30554474","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2825],"tags":[6261,4277],"podcast_series":[8214],"cwp_profile":[9236,9340,3300,9012,3176],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304546","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-honoring-your-parents","tag-25-years-of-familylife-today","tag-fathers","podcast_series-25-years-of-radio-a-fathers-role","cwp_profile-ben-rainey","cwp_profile-roland-warren","cwp_profile-ron-deal","cwp_profile-rv-brown","cwp_profile-steve-farrar","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304546\/thats-what-dads-do","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304546\/thats-what-dads-do","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"w8NcjgC6vD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thats-what-dads-do\/\">That&#8217;s What Dads Do<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thats-what-dads-do\/embed\/#?secret=w8NcjgC6vD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;That&#8217;s What Dads Do&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"w8NcjgC6vD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re a dad, here\u2019s a question for you: \u201cWhen was the last time you hugged your son or your daughter, told them you\u2019re proud of them \/ that you love them?\u201d Here\u2019s Roland Warren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> <a id=\"_Hlk483494367\">When my oldest son, Jamin, was about three or four, I started having a difficult time hugging him. It sounds maybe bizarre, but it just felt weird <\/a>to me. What I realized was that I was about to pass on a legacy that I had inherited. See, when I was a kid that age, no one hugged and kissed me\u2014that wasn\u2019t <em>modeled<\/em> for me. So, it\u2019s difficult to be what you don\u2019t see \/ it\u2019s difficult to give what you didn\u2019t have. As a result, I was about to pass on something; and my kids would be ones that were sitting here, at whatever age, saying, \u201cMy dad never hugged me \/ never kissed me,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing\u2014and not because of something that was wrong with <em>them<\/em> but because something that was wrong with <em>me<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Your kids need you to be the dad that God calls you to be\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a dad who loves and leads \/ who protects and provides for his children. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are focusing on the power of a father in a family\u2019s life, especially in the lives of his children as he is engaged and involved, and leading, and having fun. We\u2019re spending time listening to some of the voices we\u2019ve had, as guests, on FamilyLife Today over the years\u2014men and women who have talked about a dad and his power in the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And one of them that comes to my mind is Coach John Wooden, who coached UCLA to ten championships in twelve years in basketball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you remember\u2014it was one of our favorite interviews out of more than 5,000 we\u2019ve done over the past 25 years. Coach Wooden talked about how he threw a cow chip at his brother and his dad caught him. His dad loved him enough to spank him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know today that seems so brutal and barbaric; but Coach Wooden just talked with fondness of how his father\u2014although a man who didn\u2019t make a lot of money \/ didn\u2019t have a lot of education\u2014was a man who taught him about character, integrity, about responsibility. When John messed up, he brought a little pain to his life so he could learn the lesson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if our listeners are basketball fans, or they\u2019d just like to hear a great interview with a guy who was 91 years old when we interviewed him, the interview with Coach Wooden is available at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can download it and listen to it anytime you like or stream it from our website. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCoach Wooden had a dad who was there\u2014who was engaged \/ who was involved. Not every young man grows up with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that kind of a situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some young men become fathers with a deficit, because they never saw fatherhood modeled well for them. We talked to Roland Warren about this. He gives leadership to Care Net<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and has written a book called <em>Bad Dads of the Bible<\/em>. He talked about what happens when you have a fatherhood deficit, growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> When my oldest son, Jamin, was about three or four, I started having a difficult time hugging him and kissing him. It sounds maybe bizarre, but it just felt weird to me. I went to my wife\u2014who is a Texan, by the way, and very direct\u2014and I said to her\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was going to ask you: \u201cWhat does Texas have to do with any of this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> You\u2019ll see in a minute. You know, you don\u2019t mess with Texas. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re getting the picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> You get the picture. I went to her and said, \u201cHon, this hugging and kissing stuff\u2014I just don\u2019t like it. She just looked me straight in the face and said, \u201cWell, you\u2019re just going to have to hold your nose and do it because they need it.\u201d I had the presence of mind to listen to her; because I knew, deep down inside, that they did. Intellectually, I got there\u2014so, I started hugging them and kissing them. Over time, it got better; and I was able to do it. Now, they\u2019re 31\/28; and I hug them and kiss them all the time. It\u2019s not a real issue for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I realized was that I was about to pass on a legacy that I had inherited. See, when I was a kid that age, no one hugged and kissed me\u2014that wasn\u2019t <em>modeled<\/em> for me. It\u2019s difficult to be what you don\u2019t see \/ it\u2019s difficult to give what you didn\u2019t have. As a result, I was about to pass on something; and my kids would be ones that were sitting here, at whatever age, saying, \u201cMy dad never hugged me \/ never kissed me,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing\u2014and not because of something that was wrong with <em>them<\/em>\u2014but because something that was wrong with <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I think about that absence, a lot of guys don\u2019t really go there; because if you do go there, you\u2019re going to have to go to some places that are painful places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to have to deal with the fact that you were rejected by someone, who should love you like no other, and that there\u2019s a wound there. For a lot of guys, that\u2019s a very, very emotional place to go\u2014it\u2019s easier just to discount it. If you do that, a lot of times, you\u2019ll end up being a guy who does exactly what your father did\u2014which is not connect with your kids or abandon your kids\u2014because, in order for you to connect, you have to realize that: \u201cThat wasn\u2019t good what happened to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And again, we\u2019ve been listening to Roland Warren as he has been talking about how some of us need to figure out how we\u2019re going to break a cycle in a family and do things differently than what we saw modeled for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s very real to a lot of our male listeners\u2014they didn\u2019t have a father who loved them \/ maybe hurt them deeply. As a result, there is an open wound. Well, that\u2019s a great opportunity to do a couple of things\u2014to say: \u201cYou know what? I refuse to allow this wound to define me, and cause paralysis in me, and keep me from being the dad my kids need me to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I\u2019d do is\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cBegin to ask God to heal the wound.\u201d To do that, ask Him to lead you to some dads who\u2019ve done a good job\u2014who can mentor you, encourage you, equip you and tell you what it looks like \/ show you what it looks like. Then ask God to turn that wound into a holy scar, where you begin to build into the lives of your kids; and you can look back on it and say: \u201cYou know what? I didn\u2019t have the background I wished I\u2019d had, but I refuse to allow that to define me permanently. I decided to become a trophy of grace\u2014someone that God had worked in his heart\u2014and turn me into a dad who knew what to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2014when he was a boy, his father deserted him. Now, this was back in the early 1920\u2019s, when divorce was not a cultural norm \/ it was totally unacceptable. This dad\u2014my dad\u2019s dad\u2014deserted him and his eight brothers and sisters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back on my dad\u2014I never once heard him ever say a bad thing about his father and what he didn\u2019t get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I tell you what I did get from my dad\u2014he was at my games. He encouraged me \/ he built into my life. He taught a fifth-grade Sunday school class, with a bunch of boys that were rambunctious, and invested in their lives. He was rock solid with his integrity and how he did business and really, practically-speaking, how he loved my mom. He wasn\u2019t a victim; but I can look back and say I personally benefited by a man, whose father didn\u2019t do it all right, but who decided to invest in a boy. I\u2019m who I am today because of my dad, Hook Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of our guests on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> over the years was Steve Farrar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve had the same kind of testimony about the impact that his father had in his life as he was growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> My dad is 75 years old. I haven\u2019t talked with him today. I\u2019ll guarantee you my dad got up at 5:30 this morning, went downstairs, turned on the coffee maker, went over got his Thompson<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Chain-Reference<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Bible, got his coffee, went upstairs, spent the first hour this morning in the Word and prayer. My dad prayed for me this morning\u2014I\u2019ll guarantee you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hang on. I want to test that guarantee out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to call him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ll call your dad and let\u2019s just see\u2014we\u2019ll test that guarantee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s your dad\u2019s name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Jim Farrar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jim Farrar. [Ring]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Hello.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey dad. How are you doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Hey; fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey, Dad, I\u2019m here in Little Rock with Dennis Rainey. You remember Dennis\u2014you\u2019ve met Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hi! This is Dennis. How you doing, Jim?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> I\u2019m doing great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re actually trying to check the veracity of your son, Steve, and his truthfulness. We want to ask you: \u201cWhere were you this morning at 5:30?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I was on my way\u2014I had just got up\u2014I was going out to teach a Bible study. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> If you weren\u2019t dad\u2014normally, like tomorrow, what would you being doing about that time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019d be in here looking over the Bible and seeing what was set up for today and communicating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spending a little time in the Word?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And would you spend some time in prayer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you include your son in that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Always.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How long you been doing this, Jim?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Oh man. I couldn\u2019t tell you\u2014I mean, it\u2019s been years and years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, it wasn\u2019t last week you started doing this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> No; absolutely not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> It\u2019s been, at least, 45 years; because I remember, as a little boy, waking up early and seeing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Many, many years Dennis. It\u2019s just\u2014you get into it, and that\u2019s what you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do. You know, you\u2019ve been an encouragement to a lot of dads, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I want to thank you for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m glad to do it. Keep up the good work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hey, when you pray for Steve, pray for Bob and me; will you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> We sure will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright. Bye-bye\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> We\u2019ll see you guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Bye-bye Dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; they say a picture is worth a thousand words\u2014just that little dialogue, right there\u2014is that powerful?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Forty-five years of doing the same thing and where his son can count on him praying for him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have to recognize that a lot of our parenting is less about what we do and more about who we are and how who we are is on display in front of our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t say things, and train, and equip our children with words. It does mean that our words and our lives need to match\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014match one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We had the opportunity to talk with our friend and colleague, Ron Deal. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended and has written a number of books on blended marriage \/ blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe wrote a book called <em>The Smart Step Dad.<\/em> We asked him about how the job is different if you\u2019re in a step family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I would say the job descriptions are very <em>similar<\/em> but the methods and the strategies are different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes\u2014the execution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> The execution is what is different. He can still be the servant leader \/ he can still be the initiator in the family. He can still say: \u201cNo; nope,\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re going to make these decisions about what TV shows we watch and about what activities we involve ourselves in,\u201d \u201c\u2026how we spend our money, because we\u2019re going to be good stewards,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re going to follow what God has called upon us to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes time to make new rules\u2014for example, about children, and expectations, and behavior\u2014he\u2019s going to recognize that his role\u2014he doesn\u2019t have much relational equity with the children, especially in the early phases of the blended family. He\u2019s going to recognize the limitations of his role and say, \u201cHoney, okay; you and I are now in agreement that this is where we need to go; but you need to be the one who brings that to the kids,\u201d because <em>Mom<\/em> has that relational equity\u2014she has enough in the bank with her own children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They can\u2019t say to her, \u201cYou\u2019re not my mom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly! There\u2019s no trump card with mom. Again, he is taking initiative\u2014he is making sure the family is moving in a direction that will usher them into the throne room of God\u2014but it might not be him who delivers the message to the children. It might be Mom who does that. He\u2019s working through the power structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; so here\u2019s my question\u2014I want to get to what he should do: \u201cAre there some things he ought not to do? I mean, some big-time cautions you would say to him, \u2018Don\u2019t do this for goodness sakes. Don\u2019t say that.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t make unilateral decisions. I mean, you have to talk to Mom \/ you have to collaborate with Mom.\u201d And of course, I think you guys would say a biological dad, in a biological home, should not make just drastic unilateral decisions\u2014it\u2019s a collaborative environment\u2014but a step dad <em>especially<\/em> needs to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, that\u2019s a conversation we had a number of years ago with Ron Deal about a step dad\u2019s role. When I think about the power and the profound impact a father can have in a child\u2019s life, two moments stand out for me over the last 25 years. One of them\u2014you\u2019ll recognize both of these\u2014but one of them came at the end of a series we did with a guy named RV Brown. [Laughter] RV Brown is an author\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is one of my favorite clips in 25 years of radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s a pastor; he\u2019s an evangelist; he\u2019s a speaker. After we had talked with him, you asked him to give a tribute to his father, whose name was Willy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Willy \u201cFish\u201d Brown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They called him Fish. RV Brown just composed himself and spoke right to his dad and gave this tribute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>RV:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaddy Fish, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart\u2014first of all, for loving my mama and then, secondly, for loving me, and kissing me, and rubbing my little round head, telling me to go to school and everything was going to be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Dad, I want to thank you for taking me fishing, July 6, 1959, for the first time. Today, my son fished. I took him to the same spot, Daddy; and we stood there til he caught a fish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dad, I wanted to tell you what an awesome leader you was\u2014with no education, Dad, you taught me \/ you educated me how to love\u2014how to appreciate you, Dad\u2014not only how to appreciate you\u2014but to enjoy my life today because of what you did and how you loved me, Dad. [Emotion in voice] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish I could hug you today, Dad. When I look at your picture and Mom\u2019s picture over my head in my easy chair, I always look at it and say: \u201cDaddy, am I doing okay? Am I loving my wife the way you loved my mom?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for taking me fishing and sitting down, talking with me on the bank when nothing was biting. Dad, thank you for teaching me how to farm, and take care of other people, and share whatever I\u2019ve got with other people, Dad. I\u2019m the kind of man I am today because of who you are Dad. I just pray for other dads\u2014that they love their children and love their wives the way my dad loved my mama and loved us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you, Dad and Mom, for being who you are. You live, to this day, inside of me, Dad. Every day I wake up, I see you, Dad. I see you\u2014I see your smile \/ I see you the way you walked and the way you talked to people. It\u2019s the same thing, Dad\u2014it\u2019s happening all over again because of what you did, Dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWilly Fish, you\u2019re a special man. Willy Fish, you are a godly man. Even though you couldn\u2019t read, you taught me how to love through the Word of God\u2014and not only you couldn\u2019t read it\u2014but you explained it to me, Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad, thank you for being my dad. I wouldn\u2019t want nobody else to be my dad but you, Dad. Thank you for loving Mama. Thank you for the leadership and the authority in which you raised us in. Thank you for the discipline. Dad, I love you; and one day I\u2019ll spend eternity with you. Thanks, Dad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That, again, is RV Brown with the tribute he did for his father on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was another moment that was powerful over the last 25 years\u2014it was a moment that we captured on your 50<sup>th<\/sup> birthday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew you were going to do this\u2014I didn\u2019t know what clip you were picking. I saw a certain look in Bobs\u2019 eyes and I thought, \u201cI know what he\u2019s going to do.\u201d Well, this was my 50<sup>th<\/sup> birthday; and we brought all the family back together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All the kids were able to come home; but there was one child who was not able to make it home, as you\u2019ll hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Phone Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, we did pretty good. We got Ashley and Michael over here from Memphis. We got Samuel down here from Fayetteville in a windy, rainy drive down the Pig Trail last night. But we couldn\u2019t arrange for a direct transcontinental flight from Thailand to get Benjamin here. The best we could do was to get him here by telephone, and he should be on the line with us. Benjamin, are you there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> I\u2019m here. [Cheering and applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you know what today is; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Yes, yes; I heard the rumor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; what have you been thinking about today as you\u2019ve reflected on your dad\u2019s 50<sup>th<\/sup>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Man, I\u2019ve been\u2014I apologize for the start of the conversation. I\u2019ve been crying for the past five minutes. [Emotion in voice] I\u2019m sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Dad, I think, as I was listening a little earlier, I noticed that Robert left a couple of things off of his tribute. He said he made it all the way to the nation; but they left off that:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Emotion in voice] Dad, because of you, we have a better world. And because of you, Dad, I\u2019m a man. And Dad, because of you, lives are being changed over here\u2014nothing of my doing\u2014it\u2019s just me following you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m looking at the same picture you guys are\u2014I guess it\u2019s still up\u2014it\u2019s you and me at the cross. Dad, no matter what we\u2019ve done, the cross has been central to everything\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whether we\u2019ve been deer hunting\/duck hunting\u2014I mean, just goofing off at home\u2014Dad, you\u2019ve been a trail blazer by showing us the way \/ by showing us the cross was everything to you and it should be everything to us. And so\u2014not many of you know this\u2014that\u2019s why I\u2019m here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I left this summer, we just had a big going away at the airport. I considered myself to be a pretty big guy\u2014pretty strong\u2014Dad, I think I can still take you by the way. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s getting easier every day, Benjamin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Every day\u2014you better believe it! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Emotion in voice] Even as big as I am, and as tough as I appear to be, that was\u2014it was a hard day to leave\u2014but when I hugged Dad, it was as if the whole world could attack me and I\u2019d be safe. Dad, that\u2019s how it\u2019s been my whole life. Nothing mattered at that point to me when I was hugging you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to thank you for being my dad and for showing me the way. Proverbs 22:1 says a good name is to be desired more than great riches. I believe, fully, that is the thing that I\u2019ve gotten from you\u2014is an incredible name\u2014and I thank you for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t get tired of hearing that; do you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Never! I mean, every dad remembers his failures. I think, as the distance grows, you can\u2019t help look back at certain things and go: \u201cDid I do everything I was supposed to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWas I the father to each of my children in a way that God assigned me to be and love them in the way they needed to be loved?\u201d How can any man answer, \u201cYes,\u201d to all that and not just wonder a bit?\u2014but what a great privilege, Bob\u2014what a great privilege. Nothing compares with being a dad and, now, a grandfather. It doesn\u2019t get any better than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve said it before; but I think it bears repeating\u2014that for you to be the dad and the grandfather that God has called you to be, you got to first be the man that God has called and created you to be. You have to understand what is at the core\u2014what it is to walk in a manner worthy of your calling, as a man or as a woman\u2014you have to know the path that God has for you and how to walk in it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve [Dennis] written a book called <em>Stepping Up<\/em> that a lot of men have read and said back to us: \u201cThis was the book that helped point me in the right direction. It gave me the path to walk on, as a man, so that I could become the husband and father that I wanted to be and that God wants me to be.\u201d If our listeners have not read the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, let me encourage them to get a copy of the book, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have read it, think about somebody you know\u2014maybe a dad \/ maybe a son\u2014people in your life that you\u2019d like to share the book with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s available from us in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You\u2019ll find it online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Let me just say to guys listening\u2014if you\u2019ve not gone through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series for men, I think you and a group of guys\u2014whether it\u2019s you and your sons going through it together or guys in your small group \/ guys from church\u2014I think you go through this series with a group of guys\u2014I think it will sharpen all of you and give you a lot to think about in terms of being a godly man\u2014what that looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe series is available from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order, online, or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us in this ministry \/ those of you who support the work of FamilyLife. You enable us to reach more people every time you make a donation, whether it\u2019s as a monthly Legacy Partner or an occasional donation you make from time to time. In fact, if you\u2019re a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you\u2019ve never made a donation, can we encourage you to join the team and help others by supporting the work of FamilyLife? You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail a donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear some audio that I don\u2019t think anybody has heard for 20 years or more. We\u2019re going to hear Dennis Rainey talking about a dad\u2019s assignment\u2014a dad\u2019s role\u2014back when you still had a houseful of kids and you were right in the middle of it. We\u2019ll listen, together, tomorrow to what Dennis had to say about being a dad back then. I hope you can tune in for that.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:31:49"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["29.14M"],"filesize_raw":["30554474"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304546.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304546.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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through and doing hard things can make the biggest impact on your kids. \"That's what Dads do.\" Find out more from Steve Farrar, Roland Warren, Ron Deal, R.V. Brown and Ben Rainey.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>If you\u2019re a dad, here\u2019s a question for you: \u201cWhen was the last time you hugged your son or your daughter, told them you\u2019re proud of them \/ that you love them?\u201d Here\u2019s Roland Warren.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> <a id=\"_Hlk483494367\">When my oldest son, Jamin, was about three or four, I started having a difficult time hugging him. It sounds maybe bizarre, but it just felt weird <\/a>to me. What I realized was that I was about to pass on a legacy that I had inherited. See, when I was a kid that age, no one hugged and kissed me\u2014that wasn\u2019t <em>modeled<\/em> for me. So, it\u2019s difficult to be what you don\u2019t see \/ it\u2019s difficult to give what you didn\u2019t have. As a result, I was about to pass on something; and my kids would be ones that were sitting here, at whatever age, saying, \u201cMy dad never hugged me \/ never kissed me,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing\u2014and not because of something that was wrong with <em>them<\/em> but because something that was wrong with <em>me<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, June 13<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Your kids need you to be the dad that God calls you to be\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014a dad who loves and leads \/ who protects and provides for his children. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. We are focusing on the power of a father in a family\u2019s life, especially in the lives of his children as he is engaged and involved, and leading, and having fun. We\u2019re spending time listening to some of the voices we\u2019ve had, as guests, on FamilyLife Today over the years\u2014men and women who have talked about a dad and his power in the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And one of them that comes to my mind is Coach John Wooden, who coached UCLA to ten championships in twelve years in basketball. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, you remember\u2014it was one of our favorite interviews out of more than 5,000 we\u2019ve done over the past 25 years. Coach Wooden talked about how he threw a cow chip at his brother and his dad caught him. His dad loved him enough to spank him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I know today that seems so brutal and barbaric; but Coach Wooden just talked with fondness of how his father\u2014although a man who didn\u2019t make a lot of money \/ didn\u2019t have a lot of education\u2014was a man who taught him about character, integrity, about responsibility. When John messed up, he brought a little pain to his life so he could learn the lesson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if our listeners are basketball fans, or they\u2019d just like to hear a great interview with a guy who was 91 years old when we interviewed him, the interview with Coach Wooden is available at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can download it and listen to it anytime you like or stream it from our website. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCoach Wooden had a dad who was there\u2014who was engaged \/ who was involved. Not every young man grows up with\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014that kind of a situation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Some young men become fathers with a deficit, because they never saw fatherhood modeled well for them. We talked to Roland Warren about this. He gives leadership to Care Net<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and has written a book called <em>Bad Dads of the Bible<\/em>. He talked about what happens when you have a fatherhood deficit, growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> When my oldest son, Jamin, was about three or four, I started having a difficult time hugging him and kissing him. It sounds maybe bizarre, but it just felt weird to me. I went to my wife\u2014who is a Texan, by the way, and very direct\u2014and I said to her\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I was going to ask you: \u201cWhat does Texas have to do with any of this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> You\u2019ll see in a minute. You know, you don\u2019t mess with Texas. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re getting the picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Roland:<\/strong> You get the picture. I went to her and said, \u201cHon, this hugging and kissing stuff\u2014I just don\u2019t like it. She just looked me straight in the face and said, \u201cWell, you\u2019re just going to have to hold your nose and do it because they need it.\u201d I had the presence of mind to listen to her; because I knew, deep down inside, that they did. Intellectually, I got there\u2014so, I started hugging them and kissing them. Over time, it got better; and I was able to do it. Now, they\u2019re 31\/28; and I hug them and kiss them all the time. It\u2019s not a real issue for me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I realized was that I was about to pass on a legacy that I had inherited. See, when I was a kid that age, no one hugged and kissed me\u2014that wasn\u2019t <em>modeled<\/em> for me. It\u2019s difficult to be what you don\u2019t see \/ it\u2019s difficult to give what you didn\u2019t have. As a result, I was about to pass on something; and my kids would be ones that were sitting here, at whatever age, saying, \u201cMy dad never hugged me \/ never kissed me,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing\u2014and not because of something that was wrong with <em>them<\/em>\u2014but because something that was wrong with <em>me<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I think about that absence, a lot of guys don\u2019t really go there; because if you do go there, you\u2019re going to have to go to some places that are painful places. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to have to deal with the fact that you were rejected by someone, who should love you like no other, and that there\u2019s a wound there. For a lot of guys, that\u2019s a very, very emotional place to go\u2014it\u2019s easier just to discount it. If you do that, a lot of times, you\u2019ll end up being a guy who does exactly what your father did\u2014which is not connect with your kids or abandon your kids\u2014because, in order for you to connect, you have to realize that: \u201cThat wasn\u2019t good what happened to me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And again, we\u2019ve been listening to Roland Warren as he has been talking about how some of us need to figure out how we\u2019re going to break a cycle in a family and do things differently than what we saw modeled for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And that\u2019s very real to a lot of our male listeners\u2014they didn\u2019t have a father who loved them \/ maybe hurt them deeply. As a result, there is an open wound. Well, that\u2019s a great opportunity to do a couple of things\u2014to say: \u201cYou know what? I refuse to allow this wound to define me, and cause paralysis in me, and keep me from being the dad my kids need me to be.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I\u2019d do is\u2014I\u2019d say, \u201cBegin to ask God to heal the wound.\u201d To do that, ask Him to lead you to some dads who\u2019ve done a good job\u2014who can mentor you, encourage you, equip you and tell you what it looks like \/ show you what it looks like. Then ask God to turn that wound into a holy scar, where you begin to build into the lives of your kids; and you can look back on it and say: \u201cYou know what? I didn\u2019t have the background I wished I\u2019d had, but I refuse to allow that to define me permanently. I decided to become a trophy of grace\u2014someone that God had worked in his heart\u2014and turn me into a dad who knew what to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2014when he was a boy, his father deserted him. Now, this was back in the early 1920\u2019s, when divorce was not a cultural norm \/ it was totally unacceptable. This dad\u2014my dad\u2019s dad\u2014deserted him and his eight brothers and sisters. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI look back on my dad\u2014I never once heard him ever say a bad thing about his father and what he didn\u2019t get. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I tell you what I did get from my dad\u2014he was at my games. He encouraged me \/ he built into my life. He taught a fifth-grade Sunday school class, with a bunch of boys that were rambunctious, and invested in their lives. He was rock solid with his integrity and how he did business and really, practically-speaking, how he loved my mom. He wasn\u2019t a victim; but I can look back and say I personally benefited by a man, whose father didn\u2019t do it all right, but who decided to invest in a boy. I\u2019m who I am today because of my dad, Hook Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of our guests on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> over the years was Steve Farrar. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve had the same kind of testimony about the impact that his father had in his life as he was growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> My dad is 75 years old. I haven\u2019t talked with him today. I\u2019ll guarantee you my dad got up at 5:30 this morning, went downstairs, turned on the coffee maker, went over got his Thompson<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Chain-Reference<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Bible, got his coffee, went upstairs, spent the first hour this morning in the Word and prayer. My dad prayed for me this morning\u2014I\u2019ll guarantee you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Hang on. I want to test that guarantee out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re going to call him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; we\u2019ll call your dad and let\u2019s just see\u2014we\u2019ll test that guarantee. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> What\u2019s your dad\u2019s name?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Jim Farrar.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Jim Farrar. [Ring]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Hello.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey dad. How are you doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Hey; fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Hey, Dad, I\u2019m here in Little Rock with Dennis Rainey. You remember Dennis\u2014you\u2019ve met Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hi! This is Dennis. How you doing, Jim?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> I\u2019m doing great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We\u2019re actually trying to check the veracity of your son, Steve, and his truthfulness. We want to ask you: \u201cWhere were you this morning at 5:30?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I was on my way\u2014I had just got up\u2014I was going out to teach a Bible study. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> If you weren\u2019t dad\u2014normally, like tomorrow, what would you being doing about that time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019d be in here looking over the Bible and seeing what was set up for today and communicating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Spending a little time in the Word?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And would you spend some time in prayer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Would you include your son in that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Always.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> How long you been doing this, Jim?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Oh man. I couldn\u2019t tell you\u2014I mean, it\u2019s been years and years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> So, it wasn\u2019t last week you started doing this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> No; absolutely not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> It\u2019s been, at least, 45 years; because I remember, as a little boy, waking up early and seeing\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Many, many years Dennis. It\u2019s just\u2014you get into it, and that\u2019s what you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do. You know, you\u2019ve been an encouragement to a lot of dads, here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. I want to thank you for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Well, I\u2019m glad to do it. Keep up the good work!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hey, when you pray for Steve, pray for Bob and me; will you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> We sure will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Alright. Bye-bye\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> We\u2019ll see you guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong> Bye-bye Dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jim:<\/strong> Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s what dads do; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes; they say a picture is worth a thousand words\u2014just that little dialogue, right there\u2014is that powerful?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Forty-five years of doing the same thing and where his son can count on him praying for him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We have to recognize that a lot of our parenting is less about what we do and more about who we are and how who we are is on display in front of our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And it doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t say things, and train, and equip our children with words. It does mean that our words and our lives need to match\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2014match one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We had the opportunity to talk with our friend and colleague, Ron Deal. Ron gives leadership to FamilyLife Blended and has written a number of books on blended marriage \/ blended families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe wrote a book called <em>The Smart Step Dad.<\/em> We asked him about how the job is different if you\u2019re in a step family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I would say the job descriptions are very <em>similar<\/em> but the methods and the strategies are different.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yes\u2014the execution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> The execution is what is different. He can still be the servant leader \/ he can still be the initiator in the family. He can still say: \u201cNo; nope,\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re going to make these decisions about what TV shows we watch and about what activities we involve ourselves in,\u201d \u201c\u2026how we spend our money, because we\u2019re going to be good stewards,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re going to follow what God has called upon us to do.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes time to make new rules\u2014for example, about children, and expectations, and behavior\u2014he\u2019s going to recognize that his role\u2014he doesn\u2019t have much relational equity with the children, especially in the early phases of the blended family. He\u2019s going to recognize the limitations of his role and say, \u201cHoney, okay; you and I are now in agreement that this is where we need to go; but you need to be the one who brings that to the kids,\u201d because <em>Mom<\/em> has that relational equity\u2014she has enough in the bank with her own children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They can\u2019t say to her, \u201cYou\u2019re not my mom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> Exactly! There\u2019s no trump card with mom. Again, he is taking initiative\u2014he is making sure the family is moving in a direction that will usher them into the throne room of God\u2014but it might not be him who delivers the message to the children. It might be Mom who does that. He\u2019s working through the power structure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Okay; so here\u2019s my question\u2014I want to get to what he should do: \u201cAre there some things he ought not to do? I mean, some big-time cautions you would say to him, \u2018Don\u2019t do this for goodness sakes. Don\u2019t say that.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ron:<\/strong> I would say: \u201cDon\u2019t make unilateral decisions. I mean, you have to talk to Mom \/ you have to collaborate with Mom.\u201d And of course, I think you guys would say a biological dad, in a biological home, should not make just drastic unilateral decisions\u2014it\u2019s a collaborative environment\u2014but a step dad <em>especially<\/em> needs to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Again, that\u2019s a conversation we had a number of years ago with Ron Deal about a step dad\u2019s role. When I think about the power and the profound impact a father can have in a child\u2019s life, two moments stand out for me over the last 25 years. One of them\u2014you\u2019ll recognize both of these\u2014but one of them came at the end of a series we did with a guy named RV Brown. [Laughter] RV Brown is an author\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> This is one of my favorite clips in 25 years of radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2014he\u2019s a pastor; he\u2019s an evangelist; he\u2019s a speaker. After we had talked with him, you asked him to give a tribute to his father, whose name was Willy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Willy \u201cFish\u201d Brown.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They called him Fish. RV Brown just composed himself and spoke right to his dad and gave this tribute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Previous Interview]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>RV:<\/strong> \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDaddy Fish, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart\u2014first of all, for loving my mama and then, secondly, for loving me, and kissing me, and rubbing my little round head, telling me to go to school and everything was going to be okay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Dad, I want to thank you for taking me fishing, July 6, 1959, for the first time. Today, my son fished. I took him to the same spot, Daddy; and we stood there til he caught a fish. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Dad, I wanted to tell you what an awesome leader you was\u2014with no education, Dad, you taught me \/ you educated me how to love\u2014how to appreciate you, Dad\u2014not only how to appreciate you\u2014but to enjoy my life today because of what you did and how you loved me, Dad. [Emotion in voice] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish I could hug you today, Dad. When I look at your picture and Mom\u2019s picture over my head in my easy chair, I always look at it and say: \u201cDaddy, am I doing okay? Am I loving my wife the way you loved my mom?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for taking me fishing and sitting down, talking with me on the bank when nothing was biting. Dad, thank you for teaching me how to farm, and take care of other people, and share whatever I\u2019ve got with other people, Dad. I\u2019m the kind of man I am today because of who you are Dad. I just pray for other dads\u2014that they love their children and love their wives the way my dad loved my mama and loved us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you, Dad and Mom, for being who you are. You live, to this day, inside of me, Dad. Every day I wake up, I see you, Dad. I see you\u2014I see your smile \/ I see you the way you walked and the way you talked to people. It\u2019s the same thing, Dad\u2014it\u2019s happening all over again because of what you did, Dad. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWilly Fish, you\u2019re a special man. Willy Fish, you are a godly man. Even though you couldn\u2019t read, you taught me how to love through the Word of God\u2014and not only you couldn\u2019t read it\u2014but you explained it to me, Father. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad, thank you for being my dad. I wouldn\u2019t want nobody else to be my dad but you, Dad. Thank you for loving Mama. Thank you for the leadership and the authority in which you raised us in. Thank you for the discipline. Dad, I love you; and one day I\u2019ll spend eternity with you. Thanks, Dad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That, again, is RV Brown with the tribute he did for his father on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was another moment that was powerful over the last 25 years\u2014it was a moment that we captured on your 50<sup>th<\/sup> birthday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I knew you were going to do this\u2014I didn\u2019t know what clip you were picking. I saw a certain look in Bobs\u2019 eyes and I thought, \u201cI know what he\u2019s going to do.\u201d Well, this was my 50<sup>th<\/sup> birthday; and we brought all the family back together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All the kids were able to come home; but there was one child who was not able to make it home, as you\u2019ll hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Phone Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, we did pretty good. We got Ashley and Michael over here from Memphis. We got Samuel down here from Fayetteville in a windy, rainy drive down the Pig Trail last night. But we couldn\u2019t arrange for a direct transcontinental flight from Thailand to get Benjamin here. The best we could do was to get him here by telephone, and he should be on the line with us. Benjamin, are you there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> I\u2019m here. [Cheering and applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do you know what today is; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Yes, yes; I heard the rumor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes; what have you been thinking about today as you\u2019ve reflected on your dad\u2019s 50<sup>th<\/sup>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Man, I\u2019ve been\u2014I apologize for the start of the conversation. I\u2019ve been crying for the past five minutes. [Emotion in voice] I\u2019m sorry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Dad, I think, as I was listening a little earlier, I noticed that Robert left a couple of things off of his tribute. He said he made it all the way to the nation; but they left off that:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Emotion in voice] Dad, because of you, we have a better world. And because of you, Dad, I\u2019m a man. And Dad, because of you, lives are being changed over here\u2014nothing of my doing\u2014it\u2019s just me following you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m looking at the same picture you guys are\u2014I guess it\u2019s still up\u2014it\u2019s you and me at the cross. Dad, no matter what we\u2019ve done, the cross has been central to everything\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014whether we\u2019ve been deer hunting\/duck hunting\u2014I mean, just goofing off at home\u2014Dad, you\u2019ve been a trail blazer by showing us the way \/ by showing us the cross was everything to you and it should be everything to us. And so\u2014not many of you know this\u2014that\u2019s why I\u2019m here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I left this summer, we just had a big going away at the airport. I considered myself to be a pretty big guy\u2014pretty strong\u2014Dad, I think I can still take you by the way. [Laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s getting easier every day, Benjamin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Benjamin:<\/strong> Every day\u2014you better believe it! [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Emotion in voice] Even as big as I am, and as tough as I appear to be, that was\u2014it was a hard day to leave\u2014but when I hugged Dad, it was as if the whole world could attack me and I\u2019d be safe. Dad, that\u2019s how it\u2019s been my whole life. Nothing mattered at that point to me when I was hugging you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to thank you for being my dad and for showing me the way. Proverbs 22:1 says a good name is to be desired more than great riches. I believe, fully, that is the thing that I\u2019ve gotten from you\u2014is an incredible name\u2014and I thank you for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You don\u2019t get tired of hearing that; do you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Never! I mean, every dad remembers his failures. I think, as the distance grows, you can\u2019t help look back at certain things and go: \u201cDid I do everything I was supposed to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWas I the father to each of my children in a way that God assigned me to be and love them in the way they needed to be loved?\u201d How can any man answer, \u201cYes,\u201d to all that and not just wonder a bit?\u2014but what a great privilege, Bob\u2014what a great privilege. Nothing compares with being a dad and, now, a grandfather. It doesn\u2019t get any better than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve said it before; but I think it bears repeating\u2014that for you to be the dad and the grandfather that God has called you to be, you got to first be the man that God has called and created you to be. You have to understand what is at the core\u2014what it is to walk in a manner worthy of your calling, as a man or as a woman\u2014you have to know the path that God has for you and how to walk in it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve [Dennis] written a book called <em>Stepping Up<\/em> that a lot of men have read and said back to us: \u201cThis was the book that helped point me in the right direction. It gave me the path to walk on, as a man, so that I could become the husband and father that I wanted to be and that God wants me to be.\u201d If our listeners have not read the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, let me encourage them to get a copy of the book, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com. If you have read it, think about somebody you know\u2014maybe a dad \/ maybe a son\u2014people in your life that you\u2019d like to share the book with. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s available from us in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center. You\u2019ll find it online at FamilyLifeToday.com. Let me just say to guys listening\u2014if you\u2019ve not gone through the <em>Stepping Up<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series for men, I think you and a group of guys\u2014whether it\u2019s you and your sons going through it together or guys in your small group \/ guys from church\u2014I think you go through this series with a group of guys\u2014I think it will sharpen all of you and give you a lot to think about in terms of being a godly man\u2014what that looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe series is available from us at FamilyLifeToday.com. You can order, online, or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who partner with us in this ministry \/ those of you who support the work of FamilyLife. You enable us to reach more people every time you make a donation, whether it\u2019s as a monthly Legacy Partner or an occasional donation you make from time to time. In fact, if you\u2019re a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you\u2019ve never made a donation, can we encourage you to join the team and help others by supporting the work of FamilyLife? You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail a donation to us at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and the zip code is 72223.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear some audio that I don\u2019t think anybody has heard for 20 years or more. We\u2019re going to hear Dennis Rainey talking about a dad\u2019s assignment\u2014a dad\u2019s role\u2014back when you still had a houseful of kids and you were right in the middle of it. We\u2019ll listen, together, tomorrow to what Dennis had to say about being a dad back then. I hope you can tune in for that.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. 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