{"id":304534,"date":"2017-06-05T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-05T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/putting-god-first-in-your-family\/"},"modified":"2017-06-05T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-06-05T15:00:00","slug":"putting-god-first-in-your-family","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/putting-god-first-in-your-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Putting God First in Your Family"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Terence Chatmon&#8217;s wife, Wanda, brought up her concern that their children weren&#8217;t prepared to defend their faith after high school, Terence created a radical plan to help his family grow in the faith.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-05.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:28:08","filesize":"25.75M","filesize_raw":"27003711","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2833,2806],"tags":[4656,4299,2209,4655],"podcast_series":[7272],"cwp_profile":[8868],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-304534","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-godly-legacy","category-spiritual-development","tag-defend-the-faith","tag-faith","tag-parenting","tag-preparing-your-children","podcast_series-do-your-children-believe","cwp_profile-terence-chatmon","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/304534\/putting-god-first-in-your-family","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/304534\/putting-god-first-in-your-family","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"E564DysfF3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/putting-god-first-in-your-family\/\">Putting God First in Your Family<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/putting-god-first-in-your-family\/embed\/#?secret=E564DysfF3\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Putting God First in Your Family&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"E564DysfF3\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a parent, you probably know what you\u2019d like your kids to look like, spiritually, when they\u2019re adults. The question is: \u201cWhat are you doing to help them get there?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Terence Chatmon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>I realized that less than one percent of Christians have an intentional, spiritual development plan for their home\u2014less than one percent. And we are a people of planners\u2014we plan vacations \/ we plan a whole lot of things. I can simply say to you that our marketers\u2014they know what they want for your children. The internet\u2014they know what they want for your children. Our school systems\u2014they know what they want for your children. The idea is: \u201cDo you have an intentional plan in process to develop your kids in the Lord?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about setting spiritual goals and developing a plan to help your children grow in Christ. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There is a Bible verse that we have quoted often on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Most of the time, when we quote it, we take it out of context; but I think that\u2019s okay; don\u2019t you?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying we\u2019ve been quoting a Bible verse, now, for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014for 25 years, out of context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201425 years out of context?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I think it is okay. The Bible verse is 3 John 4; and in that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014Bible verse, the Apostle John, who as far as we know, was never married and had no biological children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He says, \u201cI have no greater joy than this to know that my children are walking in the truth.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s referring to his spiritual children. We often apply that to our physical children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014 who, I guess, are our spiritual children as well\u2014or at least, we hope they are; right?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would hope they are. And we have a guest with us today on the broadcast who I think would bear witness with that verse that\u2019s been put on a lot of gravestones. Terence Chatmon joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Terence, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Thank you so much. It\u2019s a pleasure to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Terence has written a book called <em>Do Your Children Believe?<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s addressing the issue\u2014really, I think, an urgent issue \/ a vital issue for the next generation of believers of children who are leaving the faith \/ leaving church after they graduate from high school\/college; and they\u2019re really not coming back to their roots. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTerence and his wife Wanda have three children. Wanda and he have been married for 34 years. Terence, it took your wife getting your attention on this subject on a planning retreat?\u2014it was a celebration of your 15 anniversary, I think; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes, my feisty wife. I\u2019m just man enough to take her on this nice retreat. We went off every year and celebrated some time together. This was our 15-year anniversary. I had this great idea: \u201cWhat if we had three questions to talk about?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cWhere we\u2019ve been in the last 15 years,\u201d \u201cWhere we are today,\u201d and \u201cWhere we\u2019re going.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>That doesn\u2019t sound very sexy on a marriage retreat; but to me, it sounded like some good questions we needed to talk about. In the midst of that conversation, we talked about our family \/ where we\u2019ve been\u2014the kids certainly knew who Christ was\u2014they had a personal relationship with the Lord \/ they were walking with Him. But during the process, she asked me a question: \u201cWell, are the kids prepared to defend their faith after high school?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, our kids were between the ages of about ten and thirteen\/fourteen years old at the time. We looked at each other\u2014we chatted about. We had to come to the conclusion they were not prepared to defend their faith after high school. And we knew the statistics\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, 60- to 70-some percent of [graduates] after high school\u2014they are walking away from the faith \/ walking away from the church completely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe turned to me; and in her wisdom, she says: \u201cWell, what are you going to do about it?\u201d [Terence]: \u201cWhat am I going to do about it?\u201d [Wanda]: \u201cYou\u2019re the spiritual leader of the home\u2014what are you going to do about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ooh!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you cast it back on her; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that the right thing to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>So, I threw it back at her. She says: \u201cListen, that\u2019s not my role. You\u2019ve abdicated that role to me and the church, and that\u2019s no longer\u2014so, here\u2019s the idea: \u2018What are you going to do about it?\u2019\u201d I reflected on that. I realized that, although I was being \u201csuccessful\u201d in corporate America\u2014and even in the church \/ serving in the church, youth ministry, and so forth\u2014ministering to many kids\u2014I was failing as the spiritual leader of my own home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For a number of years, FamilyLife did a survey of people in the church, just asking them what their greatest needs were in their marriage and in their family. The number one need in their family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they responded to in this research\u2014was that: \u201cWe need help in spiritually growing our children.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly it. In fact, number one, I\u2019m seeing is moral and spiritual decay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and Bob, I wanted to do the right thing; I just didn\u2019t know how. I didn\u2019t know how to lead my kids in such a way\u2014I had abdicated that to the church and said, \u201cThat\u2019s your role,\u201d\u2014to my wife \/ she was doing a great job. Here I am\u2014you know, I\u2019m supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home\u2014so she challenged me. I went back and took some time and said: \u201cLord, I <em>want<\/em> to be the spiritual leader of my home. I want to do a better job at this, but I need Your help. I need You more than ever.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re describing\u2014we have been working here, at FamilyLife, for a while now, on a project that we\u2019re going to be sharing more and more with our listeners about over the coming months. We\u2019ve been working on a video series on <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of at the core of what we\u2019re seeing, as we look at what\u2019s going on with Christian parents today, is the scenario that you describe\u2014active, church-going families, where everybody would affirm the truth \/ would believe the right thing\u2014but where the level of spiritual engagement inside the home is very shallow. It\u2019s a subcontracting mentality that the Christian school, or the youth pastor, or somebody else is supposed to do this\u2014very little Scripture being talked about \/ very little prayer happening inside the home\u2014we just assume that. We\u2019re uncomfortable knowing how to do that. As a result, our kids are growing up confused; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes; they really are. We can\u2019t teach what we don\u2019t know. And what He did was so gentle to me is\u2014the Lord took me to His Word. I just\u2014the first year, I said: \u201cLord, I need Your help more than ever. Guide me; direct me; lead me down this path.\u201d\u00a0 He took me on a path the first year\u2014He took me to His Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and we went through Genesis to Revelation together. I went through it with one question each year: \u201cGod, I know You; but let\u2019s just get to it. I want to know <em>exactly<\/em> who You are. I understand Your sovereignty. I understand who You are and Your makeup; but you know what?\u00a0 Let\u2019s get into it\u2014let\u2019s read from Genesis to Revelation with one question per year\u2014the first year: \u2018Who are You?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second year, with the same exercise\u2014Genesis to Revelation\u2014but asking the question: \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 If I\u2019m made in Your image, and I am the one to be the spiritual leader of this home, then, tell me, \u201cWhat does that look like?\u201d\u00a0 First, what He had to show me was my total depravity\u2014who I was. When you reflect on who you are versus His standards, it is a very <em>humbling<\/em> experience, as you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third year, then, I knew I needed Christ\u2014understanding in an even deeper way. So, I said, \u201cOkay; I want to know who this Christ is more than I\u2019ve ever known Him,\u201d\u2014beyond redemption; right?\u2014to understand His love and how <em>deep<\/em> that runs\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014what took place on that cross was so amazing. That was a rich year for me \/ a very fulfilling year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd in the fourth year, the question was: \u201cHow would You use me, Lord?\u201d\u00a0 What was so humbling\u2014He says: \u201cI can\u2019t use you at all. I can\u2019t use a <em>you<\/em> [who] thinks it\u2019s still about <em>you<\/em>. I can\u2019t use a you that thinks that you can do something.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, in John 15, He says, \u201cYou can do nothing.\u201d\u00a0 I looked up \u201cnothing\u201d in Greek, and you know what it means?\u2014absolutely nothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No thing. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes; so I went through the process; and I said, \u201cForgive me, Lord.\u201d\u00a0 He taught me four words I talk about in this book. He needs a you that is dependent on Him. He needs a you that\u2019s [surrendering]\u2014really understanding His mercy. He needs a you that understands what it means to sacrifice and the sacrifice He made on the cross. And He needs a you with great humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says, \u201cI can use you, but we still have some work to do.\u201d\u00a0 So, He put me into my life\u2014and other formats of learning in my life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and it really changed the way I looked at this responsibility of being the spiritual leader of my home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I love where you started. You started in the Book\u2014let the Book declare who God is\u2014and ask God to reveal Himself \/ to show you who He is. If our listeners haven\u2019t read this passage of Scripture recently, I\u2019d encourage them to go to Psalm 78 and read the first 8 or 9 verses that are in there; because it talks about\u2014it really talks about passing on who God is\u2014an introduction to who God is\u2014to your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, secondly, not just passing on the knowledge <em>about<\/em> God\u2014but you\u2019re experience of God, as a parent, to your children so that you\u2019re not just passing on dogma, doctrine, truth. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that\u2014we need to be passing on truth\u2014but we need to be passing on our own <em>experience<\/em> of what God\u2019s doing in our life. That\u2019s what I heard you saying as you read through the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis passage also begins, though\u2014it says, \u201cWhat we have heard from our fathers\u201d\u2014it\u2019s something that we have learned from our earthly fathers. What did you learn from your dad, growing up, spiritually-speaking?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>You know, I came to faith through my parents. They shared the gospel with me as\u2014we didn\u2019t go to church just on Sunday. We went to church Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday\u2014I think we had Thursday off. Friday was fish fries\u2014so we went there too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the one thing I learned more than anything from my parents\u2014one, is this idea of love. If you had a picture of love, you could probably place my mother\u2019s picture right in the Bible next to it. Dad\u2014he demonstrated what it meant to walk this life as a Christian\u2014high character, high integrity, talked about what it meant and what our responsibilities were, as a child. You know, he wanted us to have impact and great impact in this nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things, as I was growing up in the \u201860s\/\u201970s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and faced many trials in Chicago \/ and certainly had reason, a lot of times, to go in a different direction\u2014maybe, to hate more than I loved\u2014but he demonstrated to me that, especially in the workplace, that we are to recognize that everyone in the workplace and everyone in life has <em>intrinsic<\/em> value. That\u2019s the one thing I remember him continuing to just harp: \u201cEveryone has <em>intrinsic<\/em> value.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I thought about that type of thinking\u2014his thought was: \u201cWhether they\u2019re a janitor or whether they\u2019re president in an organization, the Lord made them in a special way. They have special gifts.\u201d\u00a0 The idea is: \u201cHow do you optimize those gifts in that individual?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it comes to the spiritual side, that\u2019s the same challenge we have: \u201cHow do we demonstrate this Christ-like behavior to our children?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I thought I was doing something special, and they would recognize something amazing\u2014like when I\u2019m sharing the gospel or doing different things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, what they recognize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the fact that Dad was worshiping in the church\u2014they know I hate to sing, and worship, and things like that\u2014and that was\u2014I can sing a little bit, but that was out of rebellion to my eighth grade teacher; okay?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 She wanted me to sing. I was doing very well in a spelling bee. I felt that she didn\u2019t treat me with the most respect, and I lost the spelling bee\u2014came in second place. As a result\u2014she was my music teacher\u2014so, my rebellion was I wasn\u2019t going to sing anymore. She put me in the corner until I would sing, and I wouldn\u2019t sing. I was kind of a stubborn guy\u2014not that my kids reflect that at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a result, I wouldn\u2019t worship in church; but you know, when my heart was being transformed and just really pricked and prodded. I\u2019m prone to\u2014one of the things I did was just begin to worship to the Lord in a mighty way in church. That\u2019s what they notice: \u201c<em>Dad<\/em>, we knew you were real when we see things that you probably don\u2019t even recognize that we see a changed life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re talking about, again, is passing on what you possess \/ what you had experienced. Your wife was prodding you \/ was encouraging you to take upon yourself the mantle of spiritual responsibility for your family \/ the spiritual growth of your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere did you start?\u2014because you developed a plan\u2014and maybe, the best place to start is explain what your plan embodied: \u201cWhat was it like?\u00a0 What did you do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes. So, first, I wanted them to understand a call. I went back\u2014I went back to my own life experiences in life and reflected on that. At that time, I was at a very high position in one of the top beverages companies in the world. We learned how to do planning\u2014that\u2019s one of the things I <em>did<\/em> know how to do. We know how to write billion dollar plans in 45 minutes\u2014so I reflected on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The first thing that we understand in business is: \u201cWhat is your vision?\u00a0 What\u2019s your mental image?\u00a0 What are you trying to achieve?\u00a0 What\u2019s on the far horizon?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the first thing I did: \u201cWell, what is the vision I have for my own family?\u00a0 Where do I want to take this family 20\/30 years from now?\u201d You know, we\u2019re not making disciples for five-year-olds. I wanted to make disciples when they were 21\/25 years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s the process. I started with: \u201cWhere\u2019s the vision?\u00a0 Where would You have me to go?\u201d\u00a0 Secondly, I looked at it and said, \u201cWell, where have we been?\u201d\u00a0 I wanted to look at our history. I went and contacted some folks who could share with me our family\u2019s spiritual history. That took me to my Aunt Virgie, and she had <em>rich<\/em> material in our spiritual walk. And there are some <em>amazing<\/em> stories there I\u2019d like to share maybe a little later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, that took me to a process of: \u201cWhat\u2019s our mission?\u00a0 How are we going to accomplish this vision that the Lord has put in front of us?\u201d\u00a0 I went back to some past experiences from my business life \/ from my everyday life, and I applied them in this process. From that, we developed what we\u2019re calling a \u201cGenerational Spiritual Development Plan\u201d for our home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a step-by-step process\u2014the how, the what, and so forth\u2014as to how to lead your kids in the way to the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, you go back to the very first step\u2014the vision that you asked God to give you for what your family would look like a generation from now. Dennis, I think that\u2019s a step that very few parents ever take. I think we\u2019re so caught up in the dailyness of just trying to survive parenthood that we don\u2019t stop and think about: \u201cWhat is it that we want this to look like 20 years from now?\u201d and \u201cHow do we calibrate what we\u2019re doing today so that we can get there in 20 years?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may expose some misplaced values, Bob; because a lot of parents\u2014when they think about where they want to be with their children in 15\/20 years\u2014they picture their son, perhaps, in the NFL, or playing basketball at a college, or a daughter who is a cheerleader \/ who is doing well in gymnastics\u2014on and on and on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re not thinking about being intentional about developing the spiritual growth \/ the spiritual muscle called \u201cfaith\u201d in their children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; most parents\u2014when it comes right down to it, Terence\u2014they want their kids to be happily married \/ have a successful job. They want them to be healthy. They want them to be independent, on their own and <em>happy<\/em>. I mean, if you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014summed it all up in one word: \u201cI just want my kids to be happy.\u201d\u00a0 And there is nothing wrong with wanting our kids to be happy; but there\u2019s more to your vision than just happy kids later on; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. I tell you\u2014if we settle on that word, happy, that\u2019s a whole other episode; but you know, what it took me to is Ephesians 6:4: \u201cFathers, don\u2019t exasperate your child.\u201d\u00a0 I was doing a good job of that, by the way\u2014I\u2019d probably get an A+ in that area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in exasperation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In what way?\u00a0 How were you doing that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Well, you know, we want to challenge our children\u2014we want the best for them \/ we want them to achieve. We want that happiness\u2014you know, this generation to do better than our generation; right?\u00a0 We have that deep passion\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there\u2019s nothing wrong with those types of passions\u2014but one of the ways I was frustrating was\u2014interesting enough, as I got into this, I was becoming the idol for my children. They were looking at me as the model, which some would say: \u201cThat\u2019s a good thing. You\u2019re a good role model. You\u2019re setting some good standards.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s not this process. We want to point them to <em>Him<\/em>\u2014we want to point them to Jesus Christ\u2014He\u2019s the model. He\u2019s the Father that\u2019s never going to fail them. I\u2019m going to fall short of His glory every time. But where He took me\u2014He says: \u201cTrain and instruct them in the <em>Lord<\/em>,\u201d\u2014not train them and instruct them in the world\u2014\u201cbut train and instruct them in the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at that as family discipleship. My role was to be the spiritual leader of this discipleship group that the Lord had naturally given me. I didn\u2019t have to go out and develop this discipleship group. I had already developed it through a natural process, and they\u2014by the way, they couldn\u2019t run away. They had to show up every day to the meeting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, all we had to do was love on them well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the concept of discipleship is repetitive training: \u201cAre the parents listening to me right now?\u201d\u00a0 The nature of discipleship is training them over and over and over again in the basics of the faith. That\u2019s your assignment, and it\u2019s going to become wearisome at times. They may push back and rebel like you did sitting in a corner, refusing to sing; but that doesn\u2019t mean a parent is absolved from all responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where I really like what you are saying here, Terence. You\u2019re encouraging parents to <em>seize<\/em> the moment, assume their responsibility, and get with the program in training their children spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>And we need to be intentional in that process. In this process, I\u2019ve been going all around the world teaching this. I\u2019ve realized that less than one percent of Christians have an intentional, spiritual development plan for their home\u2014less than one percent. We are a people of planners\u2014we plan vacations \/ we plan a whole lot of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can simply say to you that our marketers\u2014they know what they want for your children. The internet\u2014they know what they want for your children. Our school systems\u2014they know what they want for your children. The idea is: \u201cDo you have an intentional plan and process to develop your kids in the Lord?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did your children know that something\u2019s changed with Dad and things have changed around the house as you were going through this process and starting to get serious about where we\u2019re going as a family?\u00a0 Were they kind of like: \u201cOh, this is not the same Chatmon house that I am used to growing up in\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>It was so fun the way we kicked this off\u2014I sat back, and I reflected, and I wrote some notes\u2014I didn\u2019t have an entire plan in front of me. I took them out to a <em>fun<\/em> place\u2014I took them out to Lake Lanier\u2014some camping grounds up in North Georgia. I said, you know: \u201cWould you guys come join us?\u00a0 We just want to invite you out. We want to have fun together. We\u2019re going to play putt-putt golf, and we\u2019re just going to have a good time.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How old were they at this point?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>They were about ten and thirteen at this point. I said, \u201cI just want to share some things with you that are on my heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went up to those Georgia mountains and to the cabin we stayed in. One of the things I wanted to do was share my personal testimony\u2014I wanted them to hear that personal testimony from <em>me<\/em>. Then, my wife shared <em>her<\/em> personal testimony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I don\u2019t know about <em>you<\/em>\u2014when you hear your children\u2019s personal testimony\u2014you know, their life before Christ, how they came to Christ, and their life after Christ\u2014it is one of the most <em>fantastic<\/em> stories you\u2019ve ever heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Psalm 78, again, reminds us we should explain who God is, give them the testimony of the <em>truth<\/em> about God, and then share your experience of God. Then, listen to this\u2014[verses 6\/7] it says, \u201c\u2026that the generation might know, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope on God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about a spiritual relay race that begins when a dad and a mom link arms together and say: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this. We\u2019re going to be\u2014we\u2019re going to have to get in the trenches. We\u2019re going to have to do this repeatedly. It\u2019s not a one-and-done deal.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have to go over and over and over again as you confront life with your children and explain what\u2019s happening there, from a biblical perspective, and challenge them to get to know Him and fall in love with Him, even as you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and to have a plan, as a parent, to know where you want to direct your children and how to get them pointed in the right direction\u2014to get some coaching \/ some mentoring on that\u2014that\u2019s where it\u2019s great to have a book, like the one you\u2019ve written, called <em>Do Your Children Believe?: Becoming Intentional About Your Family\u2019s Faith and Spiritual Legacy<\/em>. We have copies of Terence\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, and you are welcome to order a copy. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this issue, as we\u2019ve said, is at the heart and soul of what we long for, as parents\u2014our kids\u2019 happiness \/ our kids\u2019 success\u2014those are all important things; but foundationally\/fundamentally, it is their spiritual wellbeing that matters most. At FamilyLife, our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families for two reasons. First of all, because we believe that you will find your greatest significance, purpose, and joy in life as you are a part of a godly marriage and family\u2014as you are pursuing godliness in your home\u2014but the second reason is because we believe that godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe believe that your example \/your light shining from your family can be a light in a dark world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who share our mission and who want to see this message reach more people. Every time you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, what you\u2019re really supporting is the advancement of this mission. You\u2019re enabling us to take this message to more people through more means than ever before\u2014on this broadcast, online, through our resources, and at our events. You make the expansion of this message possible when you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And we\u2019re grateful for those of you who are regular contributors\u2014Legacy Partners\u2014with this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you join the team today?\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to do. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how you go about doing a spiritual makeover in your home and how you get the kids to go along with you. Terence Chatmon is going to join us again tomorrow. I hope you can be here as well. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:28:08"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.75M"],"filesize_raw":["27003711"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-304534.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-304534.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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Terence Chatmon's wife, Wanda, brought up her concern that their children weren't prepared to defend their faith after high school, Terence created a radical plan to help his family grow in the faith.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2017-06-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>As a parent, you probably know what you\u2019d like your kids to look like, spiritually, when they\u2019re adults. The question is: \u201cWhat are you doing to help them get there?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Terence Chatmon. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>I realized that less than one percent of Christians have an intentional, spiritual development plan for their home\u2014less than one percent. And we are a people of planners\u2014we plan vacations \/ we plan a whole lot of things. I can simply say to you that our marketers\u2014they know what they want for your children. The internet\u2014they know what they want for your children. Our school systems\u2014they know what they want for your children. The idea is: \u201cDo you have an intentional plan in process to develop your kids in the Lord?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, June 5<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We\u2019ll talk today about setting spiritual goals and developing a plan to help your children grow in Christ. Stay with us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>1:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us. There is a Bible verse that we have quoted often on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Most of the time, when we quote it, we take it out of context; but I think that\u2019s okay; don\u2019t you?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You\u2019re saying we\u2019ve been quoting a Bible verse, now, for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014for 25 years, out of context. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u201425 years out of context?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>But I think it is okay. The Bible verse is 3 John 4; and in that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Of course. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014Bible verse, the Apostle John, who as far as we know, was never married and had no biological children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>He says, \u201cI have no greater joy than this to know that my children are walking in the truth.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s referring to his spiritual children. We often apply that to our physical children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>2:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014 who, I guess, are our spiritual children as well\u2014or at least, we hope they are; right?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I would hope they are. And we have a guest with us today on the broadcast who I think would bear witness with that verse that\u2019s been put on a lot of gravestones. Terence Chatmon joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Terence, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Thank you so much. It\u2019s a pleasure to be here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Terence has written a book called <em>Do Your Children Believe?<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s addressing the issue\u2014really, I think, an urgent issue \/ a vital issue for the next generation of believers of children who are leaving the faith \/ leaving church after they graduate from high school\/college; and they\u2019re really not coming back to their roots. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTerence and his wife Wanda have three children. Wanda and he have been married for 34 years. Terence, it took your wife getting your attention on this subject on a planning retreat?\u2014it was a celebration of your 15 anniversary, I think; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>3:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes, my feisty wife. I\u2019m just man enough to take her on this nice retreat. We went off every year and celebrated some time together. This was our 15-year anniversary. I had this great idea: \u201cWhat if we had three questions to talk about?\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\u201cWhere we\u2019ve been in the last 15 years,\u201d \u201cWhere we are today,\u201d and \u201cWhere we\u2019re going.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>That doesn\u2019t sound very sexy on a marriage retreat; but to me, it sounded like some good questions we needed to talk about. In the midst of that conversation, we talked about our family \/ where we\u2019ve been\u2014the kids certainly knew who Christ was\u2014they had a personal relationship with the Lord \/ they were walking with Him. But during the process, she asked me a question: \u201cWell, are the kids prepared to defend their faith after high school?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, our kids were between the ages of about ten and thirteen\/fourteen years old at the time. We looked at each other\u2014we chatted about. We had to come to the conclusion they were not prepared to defend their faith after high school. And we knew the statistics\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>4:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014you know, 60- to 70-some percent of [graduates] after high school\u2014they are walking away from the faith \/ walking away from the church completely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe turned to me; and in her wisdom, she says: \u201cWell, what are you going to do about it?\u201d [Terence]: \u201cWhat am I going to do about it?\u201d [Wanda]: \u201cYou\u2019re the spiritual leader of the home\u2014what are you going to do about it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Ooh!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>So, you cast it back on her; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Isn\u2019t that the right thing to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>No. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>So, I threw it back at her. She says: \u201cListen, that\u2019s not my role. You\u2019ve abdicated that role to me and the church, and that\u2019s no longer\u2014so, here\u2019s the idea: \u2018What are you going to do about it?\u2019\u201d I reflected on that. I realized that, although I was being \u201csuccessful\u201d in corporate America\u2014and even in the church \/ serving in the church, youth ministry, and so forth\u2014ministering to many kids\u2014I was failing as the spiritual leader of my own home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis: <\/strong>For a number of years, FamilyLife did a survey of people in the church, just asking them what their greatest needs were in their marriage and in their family. The number one need in their family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>5:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014that they responded to in this research\u2014was that: \u201cWe need help in spiritually growing our children.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly it. In fact, number one, I\u2019m seeing is moral and spiritual decay. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and Bob, I wanted to do the right thing; I just didn\u2019t know how. I didn\u2019t know how to lead my kids in such a way\u2014I had abdicated that to the church and said, \u201cThat\u2019s your role,\u201d\u2014to my wife \/ she was doing a great job. Here I am\u2014you know, I\u2019m supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home\u2014so she challenged me. I went back and took some time and said: \u201cLord, I <em>want<\/em> to be the spiritual leader of my home. I want to do a better job at this, but I need Your help. I need You more than ever.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re describing\u2014we have been working here, at FamilyLife, for a while now, on a project that we\u2019re going to be sharing more and more with our listeners about over the coming months. We\u2019ve been working on a video series on <em>The Art of Parenting<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>6:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of at the core of what we\u2019re seeing, as we look at what\u2019s going on with Christian parents today, is the scenario that you describe\u2014active, church-going families, where everybody would affirm the truth \/ would believe the right thing\u2014but where the level of spiritual engagement inside the home is very shallow. It\u2019s a subcontracting mentality that the Christian school, or the youth pastor, or somebody else is supposed to do this\u2014very little Scripture being talked about \/ very little prayer happening inside the home\u2014we just assume that. We\u2019re uncomfortable knowing how to do that. As a result, our kids are growing up confused; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes; they really are. We can\u2019t teach what we don\u2019t know. And what He did was so gentle to me is\u2014the Lord took me to His Word. I just\u2014the first year, I said: \u201cLord, I need Your help more than ever. Guide me; direct me; lead me down this path.\u201d\u00a0 He took me on a path the first year\u2014He took me to His Word\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>7:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and we went through Genesis to Revelation together. I went through it with one question each year: \u201cGod, I know You; but let\u2019s just get to it. I want to know <em>exactly<\/em> who You are. I understand Your sovereignty. I understand who You are and Your makeup; but you know what?\u00a0 Let\u2019s get into it\u2014let\u2019s read from Genesis to Revelation with one question per year\u2014the first year: \u2018Who are You?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second year, with the same exercise\u2014Genesis to Revelation\u2014but asking the question: \u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 If I\u2019m made in Your image, and I am the one to be the spiritual leader of this home, then, tell me, \u201cWhat does that look like?\u201d\u00a0 First, what He had to show me was my total depravity\u2014who I was. When you reflect on who you are versus His standards, it is a very <em>humbling<\/em> experience, as you know. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third year, then, I knew I needed Christ\u2014understanding in an even deeper way. So, I said, \u201cOkay; I want to know who this Christ is more than I\u2019ve ever known Him,\u201d\u2014beyond redemption; right?\u2014to understand His love and how <em>deep<\/em> that runs\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>8:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014what took place on that cross was so amazing. That was a rich year for me \/ a very fulfilling year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd in the fourth year, the question was: \u201cHow would You use me, Lord?\u201d\u00a0 What was so humbling\u2014He says: \u201cI can\u2019t use you at all. I can\u2019t use a <em>you<\/em> [who] thinks it\u2019s still about <em>you<\/em>. I can\u2019t use a you that thinks that you can do something.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, in John 15, He says, \u201cYou can do nothing.\u201d\u00a0 I looked up \u201cnothing\u201d in Greek, and you know what it means?\u2014absolutely nothing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>No thing. [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes; so I went through the process; and I said, \u201cForgive me, Lord.\u201d\u00a0 He taught me four words I talk about in this book. He needs a you that is dependent on Him. He needs a you that\u2019s [surrendering]\u2014really understanding His mercy. He needs a you that understands what it means to sacrifice and the sacrifice He made on the cross. And He needs a you with great humility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says, \u201cI can use you, but we still have some work to do.\u201d\u00a0 So, He put me into my life\u2014and other formats of learning in my life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>9:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and it really changed the way I looked at this responsibility of being the spiritual leader of my home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>I love where you started. You started in the Book\u2014let the Book declare who God is\u2014and ask God to reveal Himself \/ to show you who He is. If our listeners haven\u2019t read this passage of Scripture recently, I\u2019d encourage them to go to Psalm 78 and read the first 8 or 9 verses that are in there; because it talks about\u2014it really talks about passing on who God is\u2014an introduction to who God is\u2014to your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, secondly, not just passing on the knowledge <em>about<\/em> God\u2014but you\u2019re experience of God, as a parent, to your children so that you\u2019re not just passing on dogma, doctrine, truth. There\u2019s nothing wrong with that\u2014we need to be passing on truth\u2014but we need to be passing on our own <em>experience<\/em> of what God\u2019s doing in our life. That\u2019s what I heard you saying as you read through the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>10:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis passage also begins, though\u2014it says, \u201cWhat we have heard from our fathers\u201d\u2014it\u2019s something that we have learned from our earthly fathers. What did you learn from your dad, growing up, spiritually-speaking?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>You know, I came to faith through my parents. They shared the gospel with me as\u2014we didn\u2019t go to church just on Sunday. We went to church Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday\u2014I think we had Thursday off. Friday was fish fries\u2014so we went there too. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the one thing I learned more than anything from my parents\u2014one, is this idea of love. If you had a picture of love, you could probably place my mother\u2019s picture right in the Bible next to it. Dad\u2014he demonstrated what it meant to walk this life as a Christian\u2014high character, high integrity, talked about what it meant and what our responsibilities were, as a child. You know, he wanted us to have impact and great impact in this nation. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one of the things, as I was growing up in the \u201860s\/\u201970s\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>11:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014and faced many trials in Chicago \/ and certainly had reason, a lot of times, to go in a different direction\u2014maybe, to hate more than I loved\u2014but he demonstrated to me that, especially in the workplace, that we are to recognize that everyone in the workplace and everyone in life has <em>intrinsic<\/em> value. That\u2019s the one thing I remember him continuing to just harp: \u201cEveryone has <em>intrinsic<\/em> value.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I thought about that type of thinking\u2014his thought was: \u201cWhether they\u2019re a janitor or whether they\u2019re president in an organization, the Lord made them in a special way. They have special gifts.\u201d\u00a0 The idea is: \u201cHow do you optimize those gifts in that individual?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen it comes to the spiritual side, that\u2019s the same challenge we have: \u201cHow do we demonstrate this Christ-like behavior to our children?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I thought I was doing something special, and they would recognize something amazing\u2014like when I\u2019m sharing the gospel or doing different things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, what they recognize\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>12:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014the fact that Dad was worshiping in the church\u2014they know I hate to sing, and worship, and things like that\u2014and that was\u2014I can sing a little bit, but that was out of rebellion to my eighth grade teacher; okay?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 She wanted me to sing. I was doing very well in a spelling bee. I felt that she didn\u2019t treat me with the most respect, and I lost the spelling bee\u2014came in second place. As a result\u2014she was my music teacher\u2014so, my rebellion was I wasn\u2019t going to sing anymore. She put me in the corner until I would sing, and I wouldn\u2019t sing. I was kind of a stubborn guy\u2014not that my kids reflect that at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a result, I wouldn\u2019t worship in church; but you know, when my heart was being transformed and just really pricked and prodded. I\u2019m prone to\u2014one of the things I did was just begin to worship to the Lord in a mighty way in church. That\u2019s what they notice: \u201c<em>Dad<\/em>, we knew you were real when we see things that you probably don\u2019t even recognize that we see a changed life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>13:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>You know, what you\u2019re talking about, again, is passing on what you possess \/ what you had experienced. Your wife was prodding you \/ was encouraging you to take upon yourself the mantle of spiritual responsibility for your family \/ the spiritual growth of your children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere did you start?\u2014because you developed a plan\u2014and maybe, the best place to start is explain what your plan embodied: \u201cWhat was it like?\u00a0 What did you do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes. So, first, I wanted them to understand a call. I went back\u2014I went back to my own life experiences in life and reflected on that. At that time, I was at a very high position in one of the top beverages companies in the world. We learned how to do planning\u2014that\u2019s one of the things I <em>did<\/em> know how to do. We know how to write billion dollar plans in 45 minutes\u2014so I reflected on that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The first thing that we understand in business is: \u201cWhat is your vision?\u00a0 What\u2019s your mental image?\u00a0 What are you trying to achieve?\u00a0 What\u2019s on the far horizon?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>14:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the first thing I did: \u201cWell, what is the vision I have for my own family?\u00a0 Where do I want to take this family 20\/30 years from now?\u201d You know, we\u2019re not making disciples for five-year-olds. I wanted to make disciples when they were 21\/25 years old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right; right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>So, that\u2019s the process. I started with: \u201cWhere\u2019s the vision?\u00a0 Where would You have me to go?\u201d\u00a0 Secondly, I looked at it and said, \u201cWell, where have we been?\u201d\u00a0 I wanted to look at our history. I went and contacted some folks who could share with me our family\u2019s spiritual history. That took me to my Aunt Virgie, and she had <em>rich<\/em> material in our spiritual walk. And there are some <em>amazing<\/em> stories there I\u2019d like to share maybe a little later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, that took me to a process of: \u201cWhat\u2019s our mission?\u00a0 How are we going to accomplish this vision that the Lord has put in front of us?\u201d\u00a0 I went back to some past experiences from my business life \/ from my everyday life, and I applied them in this process. From that, we developed what we\u2019re calling a \u201cGenerational Spiritual Development Plan\u201d for our home. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>15:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a step-by-step process\u2014the how, the what, and so forth\u2014as to how to lead your kids in the way to the Lord. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>You know, you go back to the very first step\u2014the vision that you asked God to give you for what your family would look like a generation from now. Dennis, I think that\u2019s a step that very few parents ever take. I think we\u2019re so caught up in the dailyness of just trying to survive parenthood that we don\u2019t stop and think about: \u201cWhat is it that we want this to look like 20 years from now?\u201d and \u201cHow do we calibrate what we\u2019re doing today so that we can get there in 20 years?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>It may expose some misplaced values, Bob; because a lot of parents\u2014when they think about where they want to be with their children in 15\/20 years\u2014they picture their son, perhaps, in the NFL, or playing basketball at a college, or a daughter who is a cheerleader \/ who is doing well in gymnastics\u2014on and on and on. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>16:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re not thinking about being intentional about developing the spiritual growth \/ the spiritual muscle called \u201cfaith\u201d in their children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yes; most parents\u2014when it comes right down to it, Terence\u2014they want their kids to be happily married \/ have a successful job. They want them to be healthy. They want them to be independent, on their own and <em>happy<\/em>. I mean, if you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014summed it all up in one word: \u201cI just want my kids to be happy.\u201d\u00a0 And there is nothing wrong with wanting our kids to be happy; but there\u2019s more to your vision than just happy kids later on; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Oh, absolutely. I tell you\u2014if we settle on that word, happy, that\u2019s a whole other episode; but you know, what it took me to is Ephesians 6:4: \u201cFathers, don\u2019t exasperate your child.\u201d\u00a0 I was doing a good job of that, by the way\u2014I\u2019d probably get an A+ in that area. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u2014in exasperation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>In what way?\u00a0 How were you doing that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>Well, you know, we want to challenge our children\u2014we want the best for them \/ we want them to achieve. We want that happiness\u2014you know, this generation to do better than our generation; right?\u00a0 We have that deep passion\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>17:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2014there\u2019s nothing wrong with those types of passions\u2014but one of the ways I was frustrating was\u2014interesting enough, as I got into this, I was becoming the idol for my children. They were looking at me as the model, which some would say: \u201cThat\u2019s a good thing. You\u2019re a good role model. You\u2019re setting some good standards.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s not this process. We want to point them to <em>Him<\/em>\u2014we want to point them to Jesus Christ\u2014He\u2019s the model. He\u2019s the Father that\u2019s never going to fail them. I\u2019m going to fall short of His glory every time. But where He took me\u2014He says: \u201cTrain and instruct them in the <em>Lord<\/em>,\u201d\u2014not train them and instruct them in the world\u2014\u201cbut train and instruct them in the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI looked at that as family discipleship. My role was to be the spiritual leader of this discipleship group that the Lord had naturally given me. I didn\u2019t have to go out and develop this discipleship group. I had already developed it through a natural process, and they\u2014by the way, they couldn\u2019t run away. They had to show up every day to the meeting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>18:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, all we had to do was love on them well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>And the concept of discipleship is repetitive training: \u201cAre the parents listening to me right now?\u201d\u00a0 The nature of discipleship is training them over and over and over again in the basics of the faith. That\u2019s your assignment, and it\u2019s going to become wearisome at times. They may push back and rebel like you did sitting in a corner, refusing to sing; but that doesn\u2019t mean a parent is absolved from all responsibility. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s where I really like what you are saying here, Terence. You\u2019re encouraging parents to <em>seize<\/em> the moment, assume their responsibility, and get with the program in training their children spiritually. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>And we need to be intentional in that process. In this process, I\u2019ve been going all around the world teaching this. I\u2019ve realized that less than one percent of Christians have an intentional, spiritual development plan for their home\u2014less than one percent. We are a people of planners\u2014we plan vacations \/ we plan a whole lot of things. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>19:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can simply say to you that our marketers\u2014they know what they want for your children. The internet\u2014they know what they want for your children. Our school systems\u2014they know what they want for your children. The idea is: \u201cDo you have an intentional plan and process to develop your kids in the Lord?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Did your children know that something\u2019s changed with Dad and things have changed around the house as you were going through this process and starting to get serious about where we\u2019re going as a family?\u00a0 Were they kind of like: \u201cOh, this is not the same Chatmon house that I am used to growing up in\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>It was so fun the way we kicked this off\u2014I sat back, and I reflected, and I wrote some notes\u2014I didn\u2019t have an entire plan in front of me. I took them out to a <em>fun<\/em> place\u2014I took them out to Lake Lanier\u2014some camping grounds up in North Georgia. I said, you know: \u201cWould you guys come join us?\u00a0 We just want to invite you out. We want to have fun together. We\u2019re going to play putt-putt golf, and we\u2019re just going to have a good time.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>How old were they at this point?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terence: <\/strong>They were about ten and thirteen at this point. I said, \u201cI just want to share some things with you that are on my heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>20:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went up to those Georgia mountains and to the cabin we stayed in. One of the things I wanted to do was share my personal testimony\u2014I wanted them to hear that personal testimony from <em>me<\/em>. Then, my wife shared <em>her<\/em> personal testimony. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I don\u2019t know about <em>you<\/em>\u2014when you hear your children\u2019s personal testimony\u2014you know, their life before Christ, how they came to Christ, and their life after Christ\u2014it is one of the most <em>fantastic<\/em> stories you\u2019ve ever heard. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>Psalm 78, again, reminds us we should explain who God is, give them the testimony of the <em>truth<\/em> about God, and then share your experience of God. Then, listen to this\u2014[verses 6\/7] it says, \u201c\u2026that the generation might know, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope on God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>21:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re talking about a spiritual relay race that begins when a dad and a mom link arms together and say: \u201cWe\u2019re going to do this. We\u2019re going to be\u2014we\u2019re going to have to get in the trenches. We\u2019re going to have to do this repeatedly. It\u2019s not a one-and-done deal.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have to go over and over and over again as you confront life with your children and explain what\u2019s happening there, from a biblical perspective, and challenge them to get to know Him and fall in love with Him, even as you are. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, and to have a plan, as a parent, to know where you want to direct your children and how to get them pointed in the right direction\u2014to get some coaching \/ some mentoring on that\u2014that\u2019s where it\u2019s great to have a book, like the one you\u2019ve written, called <em>Do Your Children Believe?: Becoming Intentional About Your Family\u2019s Faith and Spiritual Legacy<\/em>. We have copies of Terence\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, and you are welcome to order a copy. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call to order at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>22:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-358-6329\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, this issue, as we\u2019ve said, is at the heart and soul of what we long for, as parents\u2014our kids\u2019 happiness \/ our kids\u2019 success\u2014those are all important things; but foundationally\/fundamentally, it is their spiritual wellbeing that matters most. At FamilyLife, our goal is to effectively develop godly marriages and families for two reasons. First of all, because we believe that you will find your greatest significance, purpose, and joy in life as you are a part of a godly marriage and family\u2014as you are pursuing godliness in your home\u2014but the second reason is because we believe that godly marriages and families can change the world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>23:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe believe that your example \/your light shining from your family can be a light in a dark world. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re grateful for those of you who share our mission and who want to see this message reach more people. Every time you donate to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, what you\u2019re really supporting is the advancement of this mission. You\u2019re enabling us to take this message to more people through more means than ever before\u2014on this broadcast, online, through our resources, and at our events. You make the expansion of this message possible when you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. And we\u2019re grateful for those of you who are regular contributors\u2014Legacy Partners\u2014with this ministry. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve never made a donation, why don\u2019t you join the team today?\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to do. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014make an online donation\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>24:00<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can mail your donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; and our zip code is 72223. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to talk more about how you go about doing a spiritual makeover in your home and how you get the kids to go along with you. Terence Chatmon is going to join us again tomorrow. I hope you can be here as well. <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2017 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/304534","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304534"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304534"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=304534"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=304534"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=304534"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=304534"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=304534"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}